Chapter 12 – Best KP-Style Name and Best KP OC
After Katy Perry's song ended, GT and BCB came back on stage.
"And welcome back!" GT proclaimed. "I am very excited for the first award of the evening to be given out!"
"...The one where we give all those punny names?" BCB asked.
"That's the one!" GT replied with a smirk. "So please give it up for Candace Du from Librana's Story, United and Divided, and..."
BCB looked down at her card to read the name of the other presenter.
"Rebecca Starlet? The same girl who nearly broke up Kim and Ron before their Senior Prom at MHS?" BCB added with a quiver in her voice in anxiety at the name of the other awards presenter. She had heard from Kim various horror stories of Bonnie's former right-hand girl.
GT smiled. "Relax, BCB. The theater has a very strict no food throwing policy."
And right on cue, the polarizing woman in Kim's life came on the stage with Candace. Candace, in her late twenties, wore a white evening gown with a slit over the right leg and teardrop earrings while Rebecca, now in her early thirties, had donned a black evening gown with her famed $500,000 star necklace.
The cheering to booing ratio was about sixty-forty. Kim and Ron, not surprisingly, led in the booing and the thumbs-down on Rebecca.
Candace held the Golden Rufus while Rebecca held the envelope of the winner.
"Good evening, everyone!" Candace replied through the mic. "Unique names are woven into the DNA of the stories of the KP-verse. The punnier the name, the better!"
"And hello there if you can hear us, Kimmie!" Rebecca mocked. "This award is not for you since Possibles and Stoppables are ineligible!"
"She just had to take that shot at me..." Kim muttered from the crowd.
"Relax, KPS. It was written into the Kimmunity Charter," Ron replied. "Just to create some fairness, that's all."
Rebecca then continued. "Tonight's nominees continue the tradition of very fun and punny names, such as myself and Candace here! They are..."
The lights dimmed as the names played out on screen.
Rebecca: Cindy Lynn, from An Exchange to Remember by F86Sabre53
With that said, the Possible family walked off while Ron went on over to the window and watched Kim's plane begin to be pushed out of the gate and onto the taxiway. As soon as the plane was pushed on the taxiway, it moved forward and disappeared from sight.
"Goodbye, KP," Ron whispered.
Ron turned around to see Cindy with a concerned look on her face.
"Oh, hey," Ron said.
"Ron, are you okay?" Cindy asked with concern.
"It was really hard saying goodbye to Kim," Ron replied.
Cindy walked up to Ron and said, "I felt the same way when I said goodbye to my step-brother."
"You have a step-brother?"
Cindy nodded, "Yes, and he's going to be Kim's guide for the next couple months."
"What's his name?" Ron asked.
Cindy got up close and whispered into Ron's ear.
Ron went wide-eyed, "What?!"
Candace: BattleF'yuri and BattleSkaar, from All Things Probable 4: Graduation by Slyrr
High in orbit above the Earth, BattleSkaar watched the broadcast on one of the screens in his office. He rolled his eyes and did a slow face palm. It was arrogant and reckless of BattleF'yuri to do such a thing even just among their own ships, never mind broadcasting to everyone back on Lorwardia.
But he was still stinging with resentment over Warhok having relegated him back to the reserve ships. And so he felt no disposition towards warning BattleF'yuri against this folly. The only other time he had seen such careless behavior was from Warmonga, after her battles on the moons of Jingos. And he didn't think it would end any better for BattleF'yuri.
'This was a misappropriation of resources.' said S'ordClash, who was standing close by his side. 'Shall I inform General Warhok?'
'No.' BattleSkaar said in a low rumble. 'He will find out soon enough. Warhok was the one who put him in command. I wish to see what our dear hero BattleF'yuri will do without anyone else to blame for his incompetence.'
Rebecca: Jen Credible, from Cobalt by Reapergrimm
The thief quickly got back up to her feet as she recovered from Kim's kick.
"Clever girl. Jenny was right to sing praises about you."
A mild look of shock crept across Kim's face, "You know my cousin?"
"Know her? I wound up working with her more often than not. I was kind of her 'pet project'. She kept trying to get me to give up my lifestyle. She insisted that I had the potential to be more than a corporate saboteur. Just because I can be a hero if it suits me doesn't mean the life is for me."
"If Jen thought you could be a hero, why didn't you try being one? You've got mad skills. You could go far as a hero!"
"Because I don't know what to do with my life anymore!" the thief shouted back.
The two women stood silent for a moment after that. The thief placed her hand over her mask and began a depressed laugh to herself, "Heh... heh-heh… that was a bit personal, wasn't it, cheerleader?.. Dang it, Jenny... you're an ocean away and just talking about you gets under my skin..."
The thief lowered her hand and raised her face skyward. "I think that's enough fun and games for tonight. I'm not in the mood anymore. Catch you later, kiddo..." She twitched her right hand, causing a gauntlet of light to manifest around her forearm. Immediately, three copies of the thief flickered into existence in front of her.
"You seriously expect me to fall for the old 'hologram decoy' trick?" Kim said as she ran forward.
Candace: Mary Juana and Canna Abis, from Stoppable Family Vacation by Sharper The Writer
Within Mary and Canna's table, they were only eating fruits because of the vegetarian lifestyle of both young women.
"Canna, is Kim mad at us for what happened at Smarty-Mart last night?" Mary wondered as she chewed on an apple.
"What? Of course not!" Canna snarked, "Those poor turkeys were trapped in those cages! They had to be released!"
"I'm afraid that...well...because of her rep, she would've turned us in!" Mary countered.
"She wouldn't dare to turn in her extended Stoppable family, right?" Canna chuckled, sipping on her apple juice, "It's not like we were taking over the world or something.
Rebecca: Dylan Vincible, from Invincible by Soldier78
"Where do you live?" Ron asked. Dylan jumped off her perch and motioned the duo to follow her. She climbed a metal ladder that led up to her estate which was a section of a building's roof that itself had a roof over.
"This used to be a hot spot for rooftop parties." Dylan introduced. The place was small as was the perimeter of the building. The roof itself looked like it was starting to rot away. Little holes and big holes littered the wooden roof and the window's glass was gone except for a few shards sticking out of its home. Dylan sat down on the cement step that was for seeing out the window. "Abandoned when I found it."
"So you've been living here?" Kim asked as she walked around the area.
"For six years." Dylan said with a prideful grin. Her eyes went from pride to grief as she stared at the aging roof above her head. Kim noticed the change of expressions and sat down next to her.
"Dylan, would you like to come back with us?" Kim asked. The street girl's eyes widened but she stood up, towering above the Possible.
"Oh no, I couldn't." Dylan refuted with a shake of her head. Kim stood up.
"Sure you can."
"But Kim, I don't know you." Dylan pointed out.
Candace: And lastly, Carmella Sweets, from Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Smile a little less," said Carmella, trying to direct Drakken in his mind-controlled state. "Okay, maybe she won't notice. Let's just go over the plan, shall we...hah of course...say something witty?"
"What would you like me to say?" asked Drakken, a pleasant look on his face.
"See, this is why I need to get these ingredients. So it's more natural, because you're starting to creep me out," said Carmella. She shrugged. "This is the list of things that I need you to make Shego get."
"How do I do that?" asked Drakken. Carmella sighed and hung her head.
"I think I dosed you a little too much Dr. Drakken..." Carmella nodded to herself. "Ask her or tell her, however you normally do this... I should have paid better attention to that."
"Dr. D., I'm back!" yelled Shego as she walked through the lab door. "Thanks for the weekend by the way... Oh Dr. Sweets, you're here."
"Shego!" smiled Carmella. She side-stepped her foot against Drakken's shin. "Act normal."
"Yes," said Drakken. "Carmella is working with us here at the lab."
"Okay?" asked Shego. She raised a brow, but shrugged. "Whatever, so what's this new plan you got?"
"Actually, it's my plan," said Carmella. Shego shrugged. "I need some new equipment and a few ingredients to make my mind control candies a little more...automatic."
"Here," said Drakken, handing Shego the piece of paper. Shego looked at him in confusion and saw Carmella let out a deep sigh. "We need them immediately."
After the nominees were played, Rebecca giggled. "Oooh...a lot of competishes!"
"But only one can be the winner!" Candace replied. "And the winner of Best KP-Style Name goes to..."
Rebecca opened the envelope.
"...Mary Juana and Canna Abis, from Stoppable Family Vacation by Sharper the Writer!"
As Sharper was out of town for the awards, he had chosen Tenente to accept the award on his behalf. Sharper also gave him the acceptance speech that he had written down.
Ten went up to the stage and accepted the Golden Rufus. He was wearing a green tuxedo.
"Hey, every one of youse!" he exclaimed in his New York accent. "Since all youse are here, I am thankful that Sharpie chose me on his behalf to accept this award."
Ten opened up the paper and read out Sharper's acceptance speech.
"Thanks y'all for choosing Mary and Canna for the Best KP-Style Names. When I first set out to do my story of Stoppable Family Vacation, I did some research by seeing some KP-style named and noticed that none of them are named after the recreational drug of marijuana. Yes, I grew up during the nineties in a period of 'Saying No To Drugs' but people's attitudes about marijuana have changed over the past twenty years. So, in that sense, I created these two characters that help out on Aunt Edna's pot farm in Colorado (since it is legal to grow the stuff there, to an extent). And they go along with the Stoppables on their infamous trip to South Dakota. Canna is the more problematic of the two since she one, accounts for about half of the curse words in the story and two, is in league with Bon-Bon. So again, thanks for choosing these two for best KP-Style Name!"
And with that, Ten hefted the Golden Rufus and went back to his seat.
GT approached the podium. "Congrats to Sharper...just as soon as he finishes up his Piña Colada...and finishes getting caught in a rainstorm for some reason."
"...And to present our next award, the Best KP Original Character award, give it up for Amelia and Otto Bahn, last year's winners of the award from MrDrP's story!" BCB announced.
Amelia appeared on the stage wearing a skin-tight purple evening gown with purple diamond earrings. Otto, on the other hand, was in a black tuxedo decorated with medals from other villainous organizations.
Amelia had their Golden Rufus in her hands while Otto held the winner's.
"Ze poser..." Professor Dementor muttered from the crowd.
"Ah...ze gloriouz crowd! Velcome, one and all! Ve are very honored to present zis award for ze Best Original Character avard, ja?" Otto exclaimed in his thick German accent.
"That's right, Otto." Amelia added. "It honors OCs that are not Mary Sues, or Marty Stus if they are male, in any way, shape, or form."
The lights then dimmed.
"Ze nominees for Best KP OC are..." Otto said as the nominees were read.
Amelia: Chase Ziemlich, from Tumultuous Harmony by Daccu65
Chase was silent for a couple of breaths. "I don't want to act like you're messing with me," he finally told her. "But that's some story."
"It sounds far-fetched, I know," Kim admitted. "But it was right here and Gill was out for revenge against Ron for something way back during elementary school summer camp. Ron got the best of him but can't seem to grasp the fact that he's rehabilitated, or that the lake is cleaned up."
"Okay," his expression showed that he was trying to decide if she was feeding him a story or not. "Maybe he has a reason, but he's taken it too far. Maybe I shouldn't have chucked that plum at him."
Kim frowned momentarily. "I guess everyone else was doing it," she said. "Please, just don't do it any more. Do me a favor? Try to spread the word that he has his reasons, even if he's overreacting."
"Sure thing," he smiled. "But you owe me another answer in return."
"Okay," Kim liked the idea of standing in the moonlight with him, trading small favors.
"Is your coach always like that, or his he putting on some sort of act?"
"No, Mr. Barkin is pretty much like that twenty-four seven," she smiled and rolled her eyes.
Otto: Carmella Sveets und Cleopatra, from Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
"Keep dreaming," scoffed Hermes. Shego rolled her eyes and walked towards the cell in question to gain perspective. Cleopatra and Carmella were in fact sharing a cell, and it didn't look very kosher.
"Keep your bloody shit on your half!" yelled Cleopatra, her normally flawless attire and gold replaced by a clashing bright orange.
"For the last time, there are...no...halves," snapped Carmella, her voice not conveying the anger on her face. "Otherwise your bed would be on the other side, not above mine!"
"You're a nightmare you know. Your stupid singing, all this pink crap," snapped Cleopatra. "When we get out of here, I don't ever want to work with you again!"
"Fine by me, because I can't stand the way you're sending the title of 'villainess' back a hundred years!" snapped Carmella. Shego never realized how short the woman was without heels. Cleopatra practically towered over her; it was very comical.
"It's called playing my strengths!" snapped Cleopatra, stomping her foot in anger.
"Well I guess it's not like you have any other strengths," said Carmella, tapping Cleopatra's head.
"How dare you! I have a PHD too you know," snapped Cleopatra. Carmella began to sing again. "Oh no, not this time!"
Amelia: Canna Abis, from Stoppable Family Vacation by Sharper the Writer
"Now..." Canna insisted, "...the device?"
"It is right here!"
He showed her a grayish device that was no bigger than a half-dollar. It had a red button in the middle of it.
"That is it?"
"Yes." the associate said, "It attracts a swarm of paparazzi within a 100-mile radius, but you have to be careful with it!"
"What does Bonnie want me to do with this device?" Canna asked, taking the device and putting it in her purse.
"Keep it in a safe place and do not activate it until the Stoppables reach Rapid City, understood!" the associate instructed.
"Got that part." Canna replied.
"And it should not even be visible! Hide it under the seat if you have to!" the associate added.
"Got that too!" Canna said. "Now can I get back to the camper? We gotta head out on the road."
"Go now! Miss Rockwaller will await your further update to ensure that the Stoppables will be destroyed once and for all!" the associate chuckles, wringing his hands.
Otto: Candace Du, from United und Divided by Librana
Mary, how's the wave analysis going?" The petite woman opened her briefcase and pulled out a folder. She put a printout on the table top, her hand pointing to one of the traces.
"We've isolated some wave patterns based on what we assume to be some of the core emotions. For example, we think that the red button is associated with anger, so we've been able to identify some aggression outputs that appear to be superimposed over underlying steady state patterns. We think that this device is being used to transmit instructions to the receiver as well as raw emotions."
Can considered. This confirmed her own interpretation of the capabilities of the device to create a myriad of responses. But analyzing the outputs, while essential, was only half of the battle.
"Okay everyone," she began. "You're all doing a great job. But let's not lose sight of the goal, to find a way of using this device to neutralize minds that have been infected with the device itself. Now that you've had time to get familiar with the device and you've made a start on how it creates waves, I want you to think about ways to use that information."
Mary raised her hand. Can looked quizzically at her.
"What if we did something like noise-cancelling headphones?" Mary ventured.
"Go on."
"If we could analyze the brainwave of an infected person, could we rebroadcast the same signal but exactly out of phase, to cancel out the programming?"
Can turned to her neighbor. "Brian, could that be achieved?"
The computer scientist looked at his colleagues. One spoke up.
"Yes, we could, ma'am but only if we knew what the receiving device was like. We could then tune the transmitter to interrupt the signal. But without that information we can't analyze the brainwave that the infected person has received."
Can tapped her fingers in frustration. So we need to know more about the receiving device in order to eliminate dead ends and to allow us to "noise-cancel" the signal?
Amelia: Anna Stoppable, from This Is Our Year: College by F86Sabre53
Everyone at the table turned to Sensei.
"Wait," Ron, who sat between Kim and Takeo, spoke up. "Anna, is me and KP's actual daughter? How?"
Sensei turned to Ron, "I think the time has come to tell you, Kim, and Anna-san something you should know."
"Tell us what?"
"While, Anna-san, visited Yamanouchi and displayed her ability to hold her own in a fight, I came down with the feeling that she is yours and Kim-san's spiritual daughter."
"Spiritual daughter?" Ron asked, confused.
Sensei cleared his throat, "Scrolls kept at Yamanouchi have spoken of your, Kim, and Anna-san's arrival to this world. You three use to be a family that lived happily together in the spirit world. But when the time came for you three to come to this world, you three were separated and sent to different points in this world's time with no memory of your lives in the spirit world. Kim-san came first, you followed a few months later, and Anna-san came a few years later. It was predicted that at some point in time, you three would reunite."
"So, my adoptive parents are my actual parents?" Anna asked in amazement.
Sensei turned to Anna and nodded, "Spiritually, yes. Which is why you have traits similar to them despite not being biologically related."
"That's insane," Anna commented. "And another thing."
"Yes?"
"Random question, is Aunt Hana related to you?"
Sensei nodded, "Hai, she's my granddaughter."
Kim's, Ron's, and Anna's jaws dropped.
"Han is your granddaughter?" Ron asked in disbelief.
Sensei nodded, "Yes, she is."
Otto: Und lastly, Cobalt, from ze story of ze same name from ReaperGrimm
The roar of Kim's jet pack clued Cobalt in to Kim's advancing charge. Turning her head, Cobalt calculated Kim's speed and rate of decline in her mind. She slid on her light platforms, turning herself around to face Kim again. She then began to jump from building to building side, her suit generating more platforms for Cobalt to jump off of as she began to close the distance between herself and Kim.
Kim didn't have the time to adjust her jet pack's trajectory as Cobalt changed her course. As Kim kept barrelling forward, Cobalt apparently jumped past Kim. Only for her to spin midair and launch a light thread grapnel line from her right gauntlet. The thin hologram cable connected to the back of Kim's jet pack, and then Cobalt began to retract her line, pulling her towards Kim.
"What are you doing?!" Kim asked incredulously at her impromptu passenger.
"Clipping your wings, cheerleader."
With that, Cobalt's left hand sparked with electricity as she pressed it against Kim's jet pack. The jet pack began to spark and sputter from the damage from Cobalt's attack. Cobalt herself jumped off of Kim's back and began to run away on her platforms as Kim began to enter freefall. Seeing that her jetpack was having a major malfunction, Kim undid her straps to remove the jetpack just before it began to explode.
"And the Golden Rufus of Best KP OC goes to..." Amelia opened the envelope and passed the card to Otto.
Otto then announced the winner, "...Anna Stoppable, from ze story of Zis Iz Our Year: College by F86Sabre53!"
Sabre then got up from his seat and danced for joy. He had been nominated eight times last year for the 14th Fannies but didn't win anything. He got up on the stage and accepted the award from Amelia.
He got out his acceptance speech and read it to the audience.
"Thank you! This is the first time I've ever won a Golden Rufus. I would love to thank every one of you readers out there who've voted Anna Stoppable as best original character.
"When I was writing my sightseeing story, an idea for a girl Kim and Ron would later adopt came to mind, and out came Anna. I can say that she will without a doubt continue tap dancing and saving the world for years to come.
"Also, with the help of the puppy-dog pout, Anna had managed to receive an invite to the Fannies. So, let's give the greatest tap dancer of all time, a round of applause!"
The crowd gave a round of applause before it died down.
"Also, I would like to announce that, once the awards ceremony is over, Anna will be tap dancing for all of you tonight. You'll find out what she'll be dancing too once the time comes.
"Well, I would love to once again, thank everyone who've voted Anna Stoppable as best original character! And I hope you continue to enjoy her tap dancing."
And with that, Sabre returned to his seat. GT and BCB both took their places back at the podium.
"Congratulations to both Sharpie and Sabre for winning the first two awards on the evening!" GT said.
The Kimmunicator beep was then heard.
"...But the beep from Kim's Kimmunicator means that we are coming up against a commercial break. We'll be right back after these messages!" BCB explained. "In the next segment, we'll present the awards for Best Minor Character and Best Villain. So stay tuned!"
"All right" by Kendrick Lamar played in the background during the commercial break.