Chapter 13: I love you

For almost two days, the Normandy did not move from the Omega Nebula, it simply kept exploring its systems for resources, and in that period of time, the Commander isolated himself from the rest of the crew. The only indications of life he gave were when he ordered Joker to switch systems or when he came down for a quick snack in abnormal hours. Every time a crewmate would engage with him in a conversation it didn't last long, as the Commander quickly ended it. The Cerberus crew did not find his behavior strange given some of them assumed that's how things were supposed to be aboard a military ship, but the ones from the original Normandy knew something was off, especially a quarian, who was very fond of her Captain, as she would sometimes call him.

Two days and he hasn't said a thing. I hope he's okay... said the quarian as the elevator ascended to her Captain's quarters. When the elevator arrived, the quarian hesitated to take a step, unsure of what she would do or say, but something needed to be done, so she took a deep breath and proceeded to step out the elevator, reaching to the quarter's door, slowly knocking on it. A few seconds passed with no response, ready to knock again, a sudden come in was heard. Its tone had no emotion to it.

Entering the room, the quarian found the lights slightly dim, the usually clean desk was messy, food wraps, drinks, and a few datapads were scattered around, the only things that were organized were the tags from the deceased, kept inside a small transparent box. The quarian then looked at the other part of the room where the bed was, unmade with clothing laid around it. As the quarian stepped down the stairs, she turned to her right, finding her captain sitting on the corner of the couch, holding the old helmet he found. His expression... there wasn't sadness nor anger in it, confusion and loss were probably the words to describe it.

"Shepard...?" asked Tali. He barely turned his head.

"Hey..." he slowly replied before returning his gaze to the helmet. "Coming to check up on me?"

"You did the same for me after Haestrom," she answered. Shepard kept a downcast expression.

"Thanks but I'm... doing okay." Tali walked towards the couch, sitting next to Shepard.

"It's been two days since..." she paused. "You haven't moved from here. I... we, have been worried about you."

"Two days you say..." said Shepard looking at himself from the reflection of the visor. "Feels more than that," he said, placing down the old helmet on the table in front of him.

"These two days have certainly felt slow," agreed Tali.

"You know, being down there momentarily brought me back to the time we were chasing Saren. When everyone was still alive. When we didn't know what awaited us. But as I saw more and more of the old ship shredded to pieces, and with each tag I found, each name I read I got closer and closer to... I thought I would be able to deal with it, but I couldn't."

"Is that why you been here? Thinking about..." Shepard slowly nodded.

"I needed time to reflect and... accept what happened. It's just that... I don't know, I suppose I should be... happy, grateful that I'm alive."

"You aren't?"

"I am, but other times I question it. After everything I've done and seen, do I really deserve to be alive?"

"If the universe, destiny, life itself, call it what you want, brought you back, there must be a reason for it, don't you think?"

"And what is the reason? To continue fighting the Reapers or to fill the greed of some pro-human group? If it's the former, then maybe, a can cope with it, but if it's the latter..." Tali placed a hand on top of Shepards, causing him to look at her.

"It doesn't have to be just those two, there may be more than one reason. We all forge a path throughout our lives based on different reasons. And, if you can't find that path on your own, there are always people who are willing to lend you a hand."

Shepard turned away and remained silent, letting Tali's words sink in. His mind began to recreate all the good memories he lived throughout his life, from his childhood to the present, and it was true that he always had people helping him, guiding him to be the person he was now. There was still a bit of guilt inside him, as certain actions from the past still haunted him, but for now, thanks to Tali, he could put that guilt aside and focus on the good things.

"Everything okay?" she asked, noticing a faint smile on Shepard's face, making her worried state slowly fade away.

"Yeah..." nodded Shepard as he turned towards Tali, keeping his smile. "Thanks..."

"That's what friends are for, right? Besides, you probably would have done the same for me. I mean you did, twice actually so..." Shepard chuckled slightly.

"We're even then."

"Yes, we're even," said Tali and after that, both remained silent, unsure of what to say. Tali then remembered the datapads from the desk. "If you don't mind me asking, what are all those datapads on the desk for?" she asked, pointing behind her.

"I... wrote, a personal note to the families of the deceased."

"That's a nice gesture on your part. I'm sure the families will appreciate it. It must have been, hard for you to write them on your own," assumed Tali.

"It was but, I needed to do it. It's the least I could do for them. I'll be handing them to Anderson once we reach the Citadel."

"Captain Anderson? Was he the one who asked you to...?" Shepard shook his head.

"No, not him but he did contact me a few days after... I woke up."

"How did he knew about you?"

"He said he heard rumors of me being alive. Cerberus must have been spreading information trying to win people over to their side."

"Those bosh'tets. What did Captain Anderon say?"

"In the message he sent me, he said he wanted to see me, but I didn't like the idea of meeting him with a Cerberus crew, but with you and Garrus here, I think it's a good time to see him."

"I think it will be good for both of you to meet. After all, you're really good friends. Back then I was surprised how casually you could talk to him even though he is your superior."

"We do go back some time. I was filling a report about a mission when I first met him. Which reminds me, I need to finish organizing the information we have about the Collectors. That's... also why I been here."

"What are you planning to do with the information?"

"Hopefully if we bring it to Anderson and the Council they can help us with the colonies."

"I still have my doubts about the Council but the Alliance can probably make good use of it. Do you want me to help you finish organizing anything that's missing?" asked Tali, activating her omni-tool.

"Uh, sure, that would help me a lot but what about engineering?" asked Shepard, worried their work would stack up.

"We finished everything that needed to be done a few hours ago, so no need to worry about it," assured Tali.

"Ok, if you're sure about it then, let's get started. Can you get the datapads from the left side of the desk?"

"Sure. Let me just..." Tali started fiddling with her omni-tool. "Come on, you little bosh'tet!" she exclaimed.

"Having problems with your omni-tool?" asked Shepard, seeing it was the first time he saw Tali struggling with one.

"Oh, sorry, no. I've got a small fever, and I'm taking it out on the poor drive core," she explained. "Don't worry," she quickly said looking at Shepard, knowing he would worry. "It's nothing serious. Got sloppy while doing some suit repair."

"Does Chakwas knows about this?" asked Shepard, obviously worried. Tali raised her hands, motioning a calm down.

"Really, it's not that bad. If a stray bacteria could really kill us, we'd have all died by now. The fever should go away in a day or two. It won't affect my performance on the mission. It's no even an illness, really. What I'm actually experiencing is an acute allergic reaction." Shepard stared at her with a look of doubt.

"How did you get sick?" he asked.

"I uh... remember when you found me in the middle of the blizzard?" Shepard nodded. "Well, let's just say that I took a path I shouldn't have. One that was made purely of ice and was kinda, steep. Strong air here, wrong-footing there and... you can imagine the rest," she explained a little embarrassed. Shepard recreated the mental image in his head and as much as he worried he couldn't fight the urge to laugh internally as the image he created had a cartoony style, involuntarily making a wide grin on his face.

"Don't laugh," said Tali pushing Shepard, letting out small chuckles as his grin was contagious.

"Sorry, Tali but I couldn't resist. I don't know if it's a human thing but we somehow find it funny watching people fall in silly ways. I can show some old vids to prove it."

"You better hope what you're saying it's true," she warned in a playful matter.

"I'm sure you'll laugh once you see them," said Shepard, taking a deep breath, calming himself down. "So you fell and slid down the icy steep. Did your suit got a rupture?"

"Since there was too much snow to properly check I run my suit quarantine program, which seals, and scans the most common infected zones. The program found nothing and I took it for granted, which was a mistake."

"One of the seals failed to report then?"

"Yes, upon returning to the Normandy, when I started treating the side I fell on, I noticed that one of the section-seals had taken damage, and foreign matter got out of the disinfected zone. I don't know why the program didn't report this but it was still my fault since you always check seals before doing local treatment. Unless you forget. Then you get a damn fever," finished Tali, with Shepard following with a series of questions about quarians sickness, reactions, their suits, and many more.

"I admire your people, Tali. Honestly, I don't know if I could live inside a suit my whole life," admitted Shepard.

"We're in our suits even among family. The most intimate thing we can do with another quarian is to link our suit environments. We get sick at first and then we adapt." said Tali, who then looked down at her hands. "It's our most important gesture of trust, of acceptance."

"Have you ever linked suits with someone?" asked Shepard, ignorant of the true meaning.

"No!" exclaimed Tali. "S-sorry," she paused. "I... haven't trusted anyone enough for that. Except..." Shepard could see Tali playing with her hands, a sign of her being nervous."...well, no quarians. Um. You know what I mean." The way Tali said the last sentence had a completely different tone from the rest, and Shepard noticed it. Both she and he already knew the feeling they felt for each other and it was only a matter of time before one said it. Perhaps this was the opportunity they were both looking for.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Tali. I think we both know each other well enough to do a suit link if the opportunity ever came."

"I know," she replied without much thought, but quickly realized her error. "Well, not that I know, but I didn't mean it like that, i-it's just that, linking suits means um... wow, it's hot in here," she said while hunching.

"Are you blushing Tali?" asked Shepard, curious, catching Tali off guard.

"W-what? No! It's t-the fever!" she tried to cover.

"Is explaining this a little embarrassing or did I said something I shouldn't have?"

"Yes. I mean no! It's just that the tradition also signifies a-a willingness for, um, intimacy!" she awkwardly exclaimed. "Wait, no. I wasn't trying to..." she said, looking away. She could feel her cheeks getting hotter and hotter with each passing second.

Intimacy, linking suits, is that supposed to be... "Wait, Tali. When you said you trusted me and I answered in the same way, were we basically saying-"

"Keelah, yes but it's not always like that!" she quickly exclaimed before Shepard could finish the sentence. "What I'm trying to say is that-"

"Tali..." said Shepard softly, squeezing one of Tali's hands with the lovely smiled she liked to see in him. "I think we both know what we want to say to each other. We've been like this ever since we met, haven't we?" he jokingly asked, causing the quarian to chuckle.

"And every time we try, there's always a certain someone interrupting."

"That may be true. But something tells me that it won't happen today."

"And why is that?"

"Because today, no one will stop me from saying... I love you Tali," said Shepard almost bluntly. I love you... were words that Tali could only hear in her dreams, but now that she was hearing them in person, the feeling was totally different. A sensation much greater than that of the dream.

"Shepard... you have no idea, how long I waited to hear those words," she said, holding back her tears.

"Sorry, I never meant to wait this long to say them," he apologized. "Better late than never, right?" he asked in a playful tone, causing Tali to lower her head, letting out a small laugh.

"Yes," she answered between snuffles while looking back up. The tears finally escaping her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry," said Shepard, pulling Tali towards him, hugging her tightly, who accepted the gesture, responding in the same way.

"I-I'm not c-crying," said Tali, trying to deny the act. "I'm just... happy, that's all."

"Well, I'm also happy. Happy that we are finally together like this." Tali smiled and both remained hugged for a few seconds before Tali decided to speak.

"Shepard...?" she asked in a low tone.

"Yeah...?"

"I know hugs are meant to be brief but... Could we, stay like this a little longer?" she hesitantly asked.

"As long as you want, Tali," answered Shepard, with an idea quickly forming in his thoughts. "Hmmm, but if we're going to be doing something like this, then..."

"What are you thin- ah!" exclaimed Tali as Shepard without giving any hint of his action, grabbed Tali by her waist and thighs, lifting her just enough so he could bring his left leg on top of the couch. He then brought Tali down and pulled her legs up to the couch, followed by his right leg, readjusting himself so that he was leaning at a middle angle on the backrest of the couch with Tali ending on top of him.

"...I think this is better," he said, making a small smirk as he looked at Tali who had her head burrowed on his chest, flustered with her cheeks colored in red by the sudden action. "Tali?" asked Shepard as she gave no response. Maybe I should have told her what I was going to do. "Tali, sorry if-"

"You love doing this to me, don't you?" she suddenly asked, slowly moving her head until her eyes locked with his. There wasn't anger or embarrassment in her, but a slightly mischievous, daring look in her eyes.

"Perhaps," answered Shepard, maintaining his smirk. "If it means I get to see you get all shy and nervous, then I'll do it as many times as I can because that's one of the many things I like about you."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Is it working?" Tali's face relaxed and gave Shepard a loving expression.

"Yes..." she softly answered, receiving the same expression from him, and just as Tali was about to rest her head...

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Shepard.

"What is it?"

"From now on, no more Shepard between the two of us." Tali frowned as she didn't understand what he meant.

"What do you mean no more Shepard?" she asked, confused by his words.

"I don't think I ever mentioned it and I kinda feel like an idiot now that I think about it." Tali was silent, waiting for Shepard to explain everything. "Since we met, you have always called me Shepard, which according to what you have told me, that would make it... my clan name?" Tali's eyes widened as she realized what Shepard wanted to say. "But now that we're together, it's only fair if you call me by my name so..." What Shepard was about to say was simple, and Tali knew this, but the history that they both had, made this moment something different. "From now on, no more Shepard. Only John."

"John..." said Tali, going silent for a brief moment. "I like that," she said, smiling at Shepard, who let out a sigh.

"I'm glad you like it. Would have broken my heart if you didn't."

"Bosh'tet," she playfully insulted him, causing both to share a laugh. With no more words to say, Tali peacefully rested her head on Shepard's shoulder, who rested his head on top of hers as he slowly caressed her back with one hand and her shoulder with the other, remaining like this for the rest of the day, completely forgetting what they originally planned.

The two souls that had grown together a long time ago, only to be separated later, met again, adrift among the stars, this time not as friends, but as lovers.

Author's Note:

The romance is green! I repeat the romance is green! Or... should I say red instead? Purple? Ah... you get the idea.

Hello everyone, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. The chapter may be shorter than the other ones but since I solely wanted to focus on the romance I think making it short and sweet was the best option. I know in the game the confession comes after Tali's trial, but with how things occurred in my first story and how the Normandy Crash Site creates this emotional situation, I just went for it. Hope it worked out.

So, uh... thoughts on the confession?