Previously:

…

I knew a mate would be disappointing. But I never imagined it would be this bad.

…

And now, I just needed to figure out what it all really meant for me. For my future. And how it shaped my past.

Jasper

Carlisle bore an expression of pure exhaustion when I found him in Arizona. He sat next to a decaying body, his eyes a brownish gold from thirst. The dead body next to him was the woman he couldn't save.

"I have a theory," he said. "The heat is intensifying their symptoms. From reports, the Jovu had a clinical lab, which are generally cooled to a certain temperature to prevent bacteria growth. An unconditioned cabin in Arizona isn't ideal."

The smell of death was more pungent than usual. I eyed the woman. "You'll come to the next meeting in South Carolina and lay out your requests. I need you to write a short proposal, and I'll work on getting the approval based on my experience with Damon Vouvali."

He handed me the syringes filled with venom. I told him to keep them. "If you need more, let me know. As training intensifies, we can collect from recruits' injuries."

He stared at the needles for a while. "Does Elise know?"

"No. Not yet. Once the procedures become official, I have no doubt that the word will move across camp."

"She should hear it from you."

The little progress we'd made would be for nothing. "The alliance will accept the responsibility, and you'll be the lead of this project. Worst case, she'll have a gripe with you. But I think I can convince her to hate the alliance more."

I could feel him getting upset. "Your family is safe," I reminded him quickly. "And you would do the same for Esme."

"I think I have a better strategy when it comes to my mate, Jasper."

"And what is that?"

He got up and scooped up the corpse. "Honesty."

I picked up the mattress that needed badly to be thrown out, then took one last look at the room before closing it off.

"I might just burn down the cabin to get rid of this smell."

"Death by disease has a different aroma," Carlisle noted. "I would never have classified our venom to have that effect on the human body. I've always been mesmerized by its healing qualities."

"Too much of it, and you turn. Too little of it might kill you…" I trailed. "I need to know how the Jovu succeeded."

"If you can get access to any paperwork: lab results, notebooks, logged data—that would be ideal."

"Vouvali is working for Aro. I suspect that what's left of the Jovu are operating under the Volturi's guise."

I immediately felt Carlisle's disbelief. "No. Aro would be breaking his own law."

Why shouldn't he? "The alliance's contacts within Volterra wouldn't know about Vouvali's connection to the kings. They would keep the information restricted to the Volturi's top officials. My opinion? Aro would be stupid to not take advantage of this."

We entered the woods, and Carlisle turned to me. "Until you get more information regarding the trials, I will not proceed with experimentation. There's no benefit in us killing more than we need. The work has already been done, and the path to get to the results shouldn't have to be replicated. It took the Jovu years to be discovered, and they have more experience than we have time to gain."

He had a point. "I'll send out two trackers to Italy. We presume Damon's been to Volterra, and we can grab physical descriptions from when Peter saw him."

"I would start from their base. The less interrogation work you have to do, the better. If what you're saying is true, and Damon is involved with the kings, he is bound to report anything back to Aro."

I knew we had to take a more diplomatic approach with this plan. His proximity to the kings was a reason why we couldn't kill him.

Yet.

Elise

The twenty-four hours after my conversation with Jasper were a few of my more introspective ones. I felt distracted and easily annoyed by anything that wanted my attention. All I wanted to do was think and process. But my alone time always ended with sunrise.

Today, I had been paired with Claudia. I could tell that she could sense how distracted I was. My inattentiveness should have lost me something today, but she kept our routine as close to a sparring round as she could.

Finally, I was grateful to see the sunset. Some recruits were lighting a bonfire, and the flames felt good near my skin. I sat close to the center and let the fire dance before me. The sight was hypnotic, and it let me dive deeper into my brain.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett and Rosalie join the grouping. Rosalie sat in front of her husband, and Emmett threw his arms around her waist. Their display of affection warmed me more than the fire before me.

Mates.

This was how it was supposed to be? Cuddling, and love, and warmth?

My eyes trailed around the vicinity. There was no sight of Jasper, and I felt anger bubble up from deep within me. He knew our connection. He knew our past. He kept withholding information from me for no good reason. The journal was a good example of that. He had ripped out the last few pages… and for what? What exactly was he afraid of?

Emmett smiled at his wife and placed a kiss on her ear. They had nothing to hide. They were solid.

I shifted my perspective to Emmett's. Rosalie wasn't the easiest woman to have around, but the unconditional love he demonstrated for her was intriguing. He probably didn't agree with her all the time, but they seemed to have something working. And it was far more than what Jasper and I could ever come close to.

"You weren't on your game today." Claudia slipped in beside me and pulled her knees close. Her face glowed with the orange embers.

"No," I agreed. "Thanks for not ripping me apart."

"Others won't be as kind. You can't be so distracted."

"I know."

We listened to the crackling wood. "You shouldn't let him do this to you."

I looked at her, knowing full well how weighted her words were. She sighed. "It's an abuse of power, and power always feeds their ego. He'll toss you aside when he gets bored."

I felt like I was being lectured by my mother. "Is that what people are saying?"

"Yes."

I am physically incapable of staying away from you.

Jasper has probably lied to me more than he's ever told the truth, so I had no historic justification for trusting any word coming out of his mouth. But damn did I want to eat up everything he spat out at me. As the night grew darker and colder, I felt almost resentful at his absence. How dare he leave me alone? How dare he let the people around camp say the things they were saying?

"You're angry," Claudia observed, nudging me with her elbow. "Hey, I don't care what you do. Have fun. Do what you gotta do. But it can't impact your performance. Unless you're really serious about losing some limbs, you gotta focus."

I tossed her a small smile. "I appreciate you looking out for me."

I saw Charlotte take a seat by Emmett and Rosalie and greet them. We hadn't really interacted for weeks, but she was closer to Jasper than the Cullens would ever be. With Peter gone, I saw an opportunity. I drew out my phone and blew away some dirt from its surface. I sent her number a quick text.

Care for a walk?

Charlotte met me at the same place I had left her after our first conversation. The metal fence gleamed lightly under the moonlight.

"I've been distant," I told her. "It's hard to trust people here."

She accepted that. Easily. "It's good to see you, Elise. You've made your own friends, and I can't be upset about that."

"But that wasn't part of the plan."

She showed me gentle, motherly affection. "Things often do not go as planned, but that's okay. Is there something bothering you?"

Yes. "Jasper."

It was as if she expected my problems. "What happened?"

"He hides things from me. And it's not your job to tell me what those things are, but I'd like to make something clear." I lowered my voice to barely above a whisper. "I know that Jasper and I are bonded to the likes of you and Peter, or Emmett and Rosalie."

Her eyes darted away. "He told you?"

"No. He practically choked it out of me in a form of a memory. But I don't think he knows that I remember what he said."

"Oh, Elise," she sighed and hesitantly reached up to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"No." I stepped back. "Don't do that. Don't feel sorry for me. I just need to talk to you about this, because it's clear that you and Peter know."

She clasped her hands together. "How can I help?"

"Jasper hates this. He refers to it as the curse. He told you to not talk about it. Peter told me to shut up about any discoveries I make. It's like he just wants it to disappear. He's setting us up for failure, and I don't understand why."

Charlotte pulled me next to her as we started to walk by the fence. This was hard for her. I didn't think she was prepared for the responsibility of carrying the weight of my discovery. "Peter and I have been on eggshells around Jasper. It sounds like he was hinting at a mating bond pretty hard with the reference to a curse."

My hands got more animated as I spoke. "Exactly. It's like he wants me to know, but he doesn't."

"He does. He probably wanted you to know that you were involved romantically, and that there was some invisible reason why you had to stick together. But he didn't want you to acknowledge and accept the mating bond, because that will strengthen and solidify it. Also, there's more of a risk of it getting out to the camp. If you don't know, you can't share."

"Why does he care about what people think? Does he even know what people are saying about us?"

She pursed her lips. "He knows. The more people understand the severity of your connection, the more they can use it against him. That's what he's trying to avoid."

"It's not just about him, Charlotte," I fumed, but lowered my voice when she raised her finger to her lips. "It takes two to have a bond."

"I absolutely agree. I do. I think you need to make him see that. Jasper isn't used to caring about anything besides himself. He couldn't even take care of a dog. You need to show him that you are his equal, and not something he can just boss around to suit his needs."

"Shouldn't that come naturally? You mentioned equality—and I see that with Carlisle and Esme. I see that with Emmett and Rosalie. A partnership is equality."

Her expression softened. "Jasper told me he brought you some of your things from when you were human."

I scoffed. "How many good things can cancel out one bad?"

"My point is, he's trying. You don't see that often in a man like him. I'm not saying you need to run to him with open arms and accept him the way he is. No. Jasper's not a role model, and you shouldn't praise behavior you don't accept. But you can shift your perspective a little, and still fight for what you want out of your relationship."

I paused. "You're going to tell him, aren't you?"

"No," she said smoothly. "My instructions were clear regarding the bond. Now that you know, the instructions are obsolete."

My eyes rolled on their own accord. "Why do you even follow any of his instructions?"

"He's my friend. I choose to respect his wishes. It doesn't mean I agree with them."

I thanked her. Genuinely. While the clouds drew in with heavy water, I felt my mind clear. Getting it out in the open and releasing my feelings felt good. But the anxiety remained. Jasper was still gone, and it was starting to drive me insane.

Charlotte had said that the bond changed you. I understood that as I sat alongside the center circle, watching two of my group members destroy one another.

I was watching, but I also wasn't.

I saw straight through the commotion and straight at Jasper. He had arrived by early dawn and his attention was solely on Peter. They had been going back and forth on some discussion regarding South Carolina for quite some time. They could have been speaking gibberish for all I cared, and I'd still be interested. My nerves eased with every second of his voice in my ears. Even though he was dozens of feet away, it was louder than the grunting in front of me.

I willed for him to look at me, but quickly learned that wasn't part of the bond. Frustrated, I dug my hands into the dirt. Claudia nudged me from behind. "Up."

I looked up to see Kate staring at me. Apparently, it was my turn.

And Bryce was about to eat me for brunch. He was a friendly enough acquaintance, but the man could fight. Standing a little shorter than Emmett, his dark brown hair hung down to his shoulders. With a wide build, he assumed his stance. I followed suit but felt my confidence slip. Bryce was completely capable of tearing me apart, and I doubted he and I had enough of a rapport for him to go easy on me.

I focused on his eyes. His eyes told me his next move. And he was looking very intently at my throat. Damn. If I was going to be decapitated for my first loss, that would be very unfortunate. When Kate gave the signal, Bryce assuredly launched for my throat. I jumped around him, my size giving me the more fluid advantage. But I soon realized that my only tactic was dodging and running away.

We circled each other. A bird screamed. I dodged another grasp for my throat. Bryce wasn't menacing, but he surely was determined. He adored Kate, which meant he took every opportunity to demonstrate his skills.

"What is this?"

What is what?

I glanced over at Jasper, who had spoken to Peter, then ducked quickly to avoid a swipe. His voice and his presence kept me far away from this fight. I was watching him more than my opponent, and that was a terrible, terrible idea.

Jasper leaned over a table, and pointed at something. Peter laughed. What was Bryce doing? I had no fucking clue. I circled, I ran. I dodged and bought time. I had no idea what I was doing.

The wind blew, and spices filled the air. Delicate, smoky, and absolutely delectable. Jasper. And when I paused, Bryce reaped the benefits of my overwhelmed senses.

He gripped my shoulder and pulled me against him. I couldn't help the yelp that escaped my lips as I struggled hard to get him off of me. I was losing my head today. That was happening.

I elbowed him, but it didn't do much good. His arms were big, and his forearms rested against my shoulders, his hands gripping my neck. I felt my skin shift with the force, and my panic skyrocketed. I didn't need to breathe, but I was gasping for air.

Instead of feeling the rip, I heard it. It was long. Prolonged. And sounded like ants were crawling all over my body. But I only felt the sudden thud of solid dirt. I was thrown onto the ground. Was my body attached to my head? I could move my hands, and my feet. Was that a good sign? Did Bryce take pity on me? I growled at that idea, but it made me more upset that this demonstration was probably quite disappointing to watch. I looked up for Jasper, but couldn't see him.

Because he was behind me.

I scrambled to my feet and turned around to see Bryce's two arms lying on top of each other right beside Bryce himself. My hands came up to cover my mouth to prevent any emotion from slipping through.

My opponent writhed on the ground, and Jasper stared at me with hard, angered eyes. Kate stormed through the circle and stood between us, looking down at her student who was trying to inch closer to his limbs.

"Major Whitlock, this is unacceptable," she seethed. "You cannot interrupt the natural training process."

It felt like the entire camp was put on pause, and all I wanted to do was hide.

But all Jasper did was glance down at Bryce. "Get him some blood."

And then I was being pulled away. Jasper's grip on my wrist was crushing. I looked back at the damage. Kate crouched low by Bryce, but the rest of the recruits had their eyes on us.

Peter approached the circle, and stood before the man on the ground. "Heal him. Resume with the rest. Now."

We walked in absolute silence. When we were deep into the forestry, Jasper let go of me, and I followed him over the fence.

After about a mile, he turned to me. Whatever was simmering quietly for the past few minutes sought to explode.

"I've seen you fight countless of times," he growled. "Your strength is in your defense, and I've never seen anyone be able to get behind you. What happened?"

"He overpowered me."

"He's not stronger than Emmett, and you've fought him."

What did he want me to say? "I was distracted."

"Yes," he fumed. "Yes, you were. I wonder what was more important than getting your head ripped off of your body."

I didn't even feel bothered by his anger. "You completely disarmed Bryce."

He turned away from me and his hand ran through his hair. He whispered sharply. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

"You—"

"I wouldn't have to save you if you just kept your focus," he snarled, turning back to me.

"Why did you?" I challenged. "You didn't have to do anything."

"I did what I had to do. You're under my protection."

I stepped forward. "I thought we didn't get special treatment."

"You don't."

My breath fanned his face. "Then what is this?"

"Obligation."

I was tired of this, and my memories didn't lie. I slowly put my arms around his neck and held him in place. "You saved me today," I began slowly. "Because you and I are bonded with this little thing called—"

"Stop."

"Why?" I insisted. "Why is this so hard for you? You can do this with the rest of the world, but not with me."

He wavered and took several steps back. His footing was off. I pulled him towards me with his shirt. It was jarring to see how frail he seemed in an instant. "How do you know?"

I grabbed his hand and put it straight on my neck, but he was barely touching me. I took us back to time he had me against a tree by the throat. "You triggered more than just a conversation regarding Damon."

His arm dropped. He didn't even look at me, but I tried to get his attention. "Don't avoid this. Talk to me."

He remained mute, his gaze resting on the horizon. We stood there by the trees, veering over a clearing. Jasper began to shake his head.

I tried my best to reassure him. "I don't think anyone knows but Peter and Charlotte…"

"Everyone knows," he said quietly.

"No. Everyone thinks we leave camp, and I trade sex for perks with the delegates."

The look he gave me was grim. "Everyone knows. I saved you from losing your head. I disarmed your opponent when I had no business to."

"Fuck them," I snapped. "This is about you and me."

He closed his eyes and held up a hand. "I need to think."

I pushed down his hand and forced him to look at me. "No, you don't."

He stepped away from me. "Just be quiet for a second."

I drew him back. "Include me. Let me help you." Then, I glared at him. "And stop acting like you don't want me. It's such bullshit."

"I'm not—" he began, a little helplessly. "I need to figure this out."

I took his hands in mine. "You don't have to do anything right now. Just focus on me. Please."

With his jaw set, and his eyes avoiding, he was actively pushing slabs of barriers between us. I was distracting, annoying, and preventing him from thinking clearly.

If he needed time, we had time. We had time until the sun finally exploded and destroyed us all.

So, I made the decision to walk away. But right before I did, I reached up to grab his chin and tilted his head down towards mine. "Thank you for what you did today."

I left him near the clearing, and headed back to base. Because if I didn't want him around me, I would expect him to do the same.

A/N:

Some questions for you:

1. Jasper believes that there are dire consequences of what was just revealed. What issues do you anticipate with this reveal, and are Jasper's worries justified?

2. Damon Vouvali, Elise's once captor and mastermind behind venomous experimentation, is once again a topic of conversation in Jasper's life. How do you think he feels about him at this stage, and would any of that get in the way of his very unusual mission to start experiments within the alliance?