Author's note: Hey everyone! Thank you all for reading and leaving comments. I really hope that you are enjoying reading my fics.
Andy hears the water in the shower running.
She waits a few minutes, hiding behind the closed door of her bedroom as she listens to the sounds of Maya's very loud morning routine. She is careful, and only when she is sure her roommate is busy enough with her own business and the two of them won't accidentally cross paths, does she make her way to the kitchen, tiptoeing all across the hall, which seems long and endless at the moment.
Her footsteps make too much noise, as the floor squeaks under her bare feet with every step she takes. She can hear nothing but the sound of her roommate opening and closing drawers in the bathroom, as she finally, finally reaches her destination.
Andy curses under her breath for a moment as she realizes that Maya has been hiding her box of Lucky Charms once again. She frowns, and makes a mental note to scold her friend for trying to take away the one thing that gives Andy true happiness, before she gets to the task at hand. She opens every cupboard and peeks in every cabinet, trying to find the red carton box, yet it is all in vain.
She hates Maya for doing that, hates her for her need to make everyone do things her way and for the way she treats her like a child who needs to learn what is good or bad for her body. Well, at the moment, the last thing Andy cares about is her health, and a protein smoothie won't give her the comfort she needs, the comfort she knows she will find at the bottom of her favorite crappy, sugary cereal box.
She lets out a loud exhale, filled with her frustration as she is about to give up and make her way quickly back into her bedroom, before Maya has a chance to see her snooping around the kitchen. Then she locates it, hiding on top of the fridge, where she didn't even think to search. Andy tries to get to the box, as she reaches her hand out and puts everything she has in her to grab what she needs.
There is a long sigh of frustration coming out of her as she realizes there is no way she is going to get there, not with her five feet and five inches, not without a little bit of help. The chair she drags across the little kitchen makes too much noise, as everything seems to do this morning, no matter how hard she tries to keep it down.
Andy climbs on top of it, and lets out an excited noise, something so small it is inaudible, really. She is about to disappear, about to take the box and go munch on the entire thing as she sits in her bed and catches up with the Kardashians, until she will have an unavoidable sugar rush and won't be able to listen to Kim's voice from a mile away.
"What are you doing?" The voice behind her startles her, and she loses her balance. She is quick to hold onto something, and manages to find her stability once again.
"Don't ever come behind someone like that!" Andy yells, her heart racing in her chest, even though she isn't sure why.
It is just Maya, after all.
"What are you doing?" Maya asks again, as she tries to figure out what her friend is exactly up to. "And why aren't you ready and dressed? We are going to be late for work, and I know you are in Sullivan's good graces more often than not these days, but I can't say the same thing about me, and I would really hate it if you will make us both late, and I will have to be the one cleaning the toilet for an entire week."
It never crossed Andy's mind until that very moment that she will have to explain it to Maya, the reason she is staying at the apartment for the day instead of going to work. She was too busy with her quest to retrieve her favorite snack, and beforehand, with her self pity and the thoughts about last night that kept sneaking into her brain, no matter how hard she tried to push them away, no matter how hard she tried to move on.
He doesn't want the same thing as she does. That's all, as simple as that.
Andy pretends to cough, as she brings the hand not holding onto the box of cereal to cover her mouth. "I am sick." She lies, trying to get her voice to sound raspy and weak, but she fails miserably. "I already texted Sullivan and told him I am taking the day off."
"Turn around." Maya requests, and Andy has a feeling the blond doesn't believe a word she just said, not even for a minute.
Andy steps down from the chair, and stares down at the floor as her friend examines her head to toe, waiting for a verdict. "Sick my ass." Maya finally calls, and Andy hates it sometimes, how well her friend knows her, how she can pick up on the little details. "You haven't called a sick day voluntarily since the day we met, Andy, not even once. Your dad had to force you to leave the station when you arrived with a 102 fever, and even then you had a thirty minute long argument with him about it in Spanish."
"I am really sick. I might be contagious, you don't wanna stand so close to me. I think I got it from the kid we transported in the aid car last shift." She coughs again, but when she sees her friend doesn't buy her façade, she gives up, reaching her hand into the box and grabbing a mouthful of cereal, then shoves it into her face gracelessly.
"Andy, that kid had a broken leg. I doubt you caught anything from him." Maya makes a snarky comment. The kitchen is silent for a moment, and there is a little flicker of hope that ignites inside of her. Maybe Maya will just decide to drop it, and leave Andy to spend the day in bed, drowning whatever it is that she feels at the bottom of the Lucky Charm box she has in her hands. "You reek of heartbreak." Maya decides.
"No I don't!"
"Who is it? Who broke your heart, and do you need me to go punch him? Cause you know I will do it, gladly." Maya asks. When she doesn't get an answer, and the only sound in the room is the noise Andy makes as she chews on the crunchy cereal, she just starts to guess, throwing names into the air. "Is it Jack? Ryan?"
"It's no one, really." And insists, her mouth still half full. "Give it a break, Maya. I just don't feel well, so I decided to take the day off.
"Is it Sullivan?"
Something in Andy's face must have twitched, must have shifted involuntarily, because when Maya says again "It is Sullivan." it's more of a statement rather than a question.
"Oh, Andy."
"I don't need your pity." Andy insists. She knows it's not fair, shutting her friend out like that, pushing her away, but she can't bring herself to do anything but that. It isn't like she wants to talk about it, anyway. "I need my cereal and my trashy TV shows, so you can go to work, I will be more than fine on my own."
Maya will have none of it, though, as she sits on the couch and crosses her legs, waiting for her friend to say what's on her heart.
"You will be late for work." Andy tries to reason. "You just said you want to be on time. You are seriously risking toilet cleaning duty here." Maya is quiet, unusually so, and Andy just blurts out the next sentence, can't help it. "I didn't sleep with him."
"Andy, I honestly don't care who you sleep with, I care that something is obviously on your mind, and you still don't talk to me about it."
"I didn't sleep with him, so there is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened." Andy insists. She is about to walk into her bedroom, but Maya is quick to understand her intentions, as she stands in front of her and grabs the box out of her hand. "Hey!" She yells. "What was that for?"
"You won't get it back until you talk. Friends don't let friends eat their feelings all alone." Maya shoves her hand in the box, then places a few bites of cereal in her mouth and chews pointedly, her brow raised at her best friend all the time, defying.
"It was just a kiss, okay?" Andy huffs, finally letting out the one thing on her heart go. She knows sharing is supposed to make her feel better, or so they say in all those stupid self help book, but it doesn't. In fact, it does the exact opposite, really. It makes her heart ache as she remembers how right that moment felt, before he cut it short. "It was just a kiss, and he stopped it before it had time to really become anything more than a kiss."
"But you wanted it to become more?" Maya asks. It has a certain tone to it, and Andy knows exactly what her friend is implying when she says those words. Yet it is playful, and Andy knows she means no harm, as Maya will be the last person to judge her, so she picks up a cushion from the sofa and hits her friend playfully, then grabs what belongs to her out of Maya's hand.
"Hey!" Maya yells. "I didn't mean it like that! You know I am all for you getting your swagger back! It's been a while, really."
"Are you keeping track of how often I am getting laid?" Andy raises a brow. It would have been a weird conversation to have with anyone else but Maya, but it's just the two of them, and Andy knows that Maya will hold onto what she is about to say, knows it won't become another piece of gossip over eggs and bacon at breakfast this morning at the beanery. "Yes, if it was up to me, I would have let it become something more than a quick kiss. But you know what, I am glad it didn't." Andy tries to convince herself, spreading her limbs on the sofa, leaving just enough room for Maya to sit next to her. "Sleeping with my boss is not a good idea."
"Yeah, so why are you avoiding him like he has the plague or something?" Maya inquires.
"I am not avoiding him."
"You took the day off. And you and I both know you never take a day off."
"Well, what if I wanted to take the day to relax?" Maya gives her a look, stern and knowing, which breaks Andy and has her muttering. "Ok, fine, I don't think I will be able to look him in the eye." Andy lets out, then eats another few bites of her cereal.
"Well, you will have to figure out how to do so, because you can't keep hiding away in the apartment forever, and I know you don't wanna transfer to station 23, where no one ever showers and they never arrive to calls on time, just because your tongue has been in his mouth."
"Oh hell no." Andy shakes her head, horrified by the thought of having to go to work, day in and day out, in any station other than her own. "I will learn how to cope with it, you know. Seeing him. But today, the only people I wanna see are the family on that trashy reality show."
"What about his daughter?" Maya asks. She looks down at her watch, and Andy knows she must be late, must have listened to Andy rumble on and on for far too long.
"Liv? She has been grumpy for the last week or so , but she is a teenager, and it will pass." Andy says. "Why?"
"You really haven't noticed, have you?" Maya asks, then mutters under her breath. "God, you can be so oblivious sometimes."
"Spill it, Maya."
"The girl looks at you like she plans to lock you and her dad in the same room together. I think she has her hopes up, and I was wondering if she saw something, that's all. It would be a shame if other than your heart, her heart will be broken in the process, too." Maya grabs her duffle bag from the floor and heads to the door. "She is quite a good cook, after all. I would hate it if she would stop cooking for us, and we will have to go back to Montgomery's veggie meatloaf."
"She doesn't look at us this way!" Andy calls out, but Maya is already long gone, leaving Andy with nothing but more thoughts to run around her head now.
Great. There will be three hearts broken in the process, then.
It crosses her mind that she shouldn't have let him in in the first place. How much easier it could have been if she kept that resentment in her heart, instead of the way her cheeks flush every time that thought about the way he played with her necklace comes to her mind, or the way they didn't let go of each other's hand as they made their way all the way from the dark bar to his place.
And she knows there isn't a good outcome to the direction those thoughts are carrying her, so she grabs her box of cereal and stumbles her way back to her bed, tucking herself under the covers and turning on the TV.
And if his face is the last thing she sees before she drifts back to her uneasy sleep, the fire in his eyes is the same as it was just before he kissed her last night... Well, she blames it on the ungodly amount of sugar she just consumed, and the words her best friend said right before she left.
Andy stands outside the station, staring at the building.
It's funny, really, as she used to do the same little ceremony when she was just a teen, as she was about to walk in and talk to her father, knowing he is going to scold her for breaking curfew ones again, or give her a stern look for doing something he didn't approve of, being one thing or the other.
Her leg is thumping up and down on the pavement as she is considering her options.
It's just her headphones. She can workout without them, or she can skip the workout today all together and go back to that spot on the couch that probably got the shape of her body by now. She was going stir crazy at the house, even though it is barely past 5pm, and it has only been one day she had to stay away from the fire and the action.
But she has made it all the way to the station, and all she has to do is walk quickly to her locker, grab the small case and walk out of there before anyone has a chance to notice she is even there, and she will be under a flood of questions she really isn't in a mood to answer.
If she has any luck, any luck at all, he is probably in his office at the moment, his head looking down at a stack of papers, and he won't even acknowledge her presence before she runs out.
Andy takes a deep breath, and starts to make her detour all the way to the back of the station. She stops just in front of his office right after she walks in through the door, can't help the temptation as she sneaks just a quick glance to see if he is indeed there.
The blinds are open and the office stands empty, but Andy knows they are not on a call. She has been standing outside the station long enough, debating what to do, that if something had happened, she would have been the first to know. She sighs soundlessly, out of relief or out of frustration, she isn't sure, and makes it the rest of the way to her locker.
Her Airpods are in fact there, where she knew she left them, and she is quick to grab the case and shove it into the back pocket of the ripped jeans she is wearing. The way back looks infinite, every step she takes makes her heart beat louder, until she is sure the damn thing is gonna just pop out of her chest.
There is someone in her way, and she slams head first into his body.
She can't breathe, too afraid to look up, knowing that by doing so, she will get a confirmation to the one thing she already knows.
It is him.
Andy curses under her breath as she realizes her body is still pressed tight against his, neither of them wanting to be the first to take a step back, to break the connection, to let go of the way their bodies buzz lightly with feeling, even when nothing really happened between them.
"I didn't expect to see you here."
"I think I should go." They say in unison. She takes a step back, as he places a hand on his head.
He looks exactly as she feels. Confused. At a loss of words.
"This is awkward." The words slip out of her mouth. She scolds herself immediately for letting out something so stupid, something that makes the air between them even heavier. "I just came to pick up my headphones." She explains. "I forgot them when I walked out last shift."
"It doesn't have to be..." He trails off. "You can stay if you want." He has a clear bag in his hand, something Andy didn't notice until he picked it up to show it off, but now... Now she can smell it. Her nostrils are filled with the aroma of freshly cooked meal, and all of a sudden, her tummy grumbles, as it reminds her the only substance that she has eaten all day is that box of Lucky Charms.
"Now you can't say you aren't hungry." He sends a crooked smile her way.
And maybe she was wrong after all. Maybe they can be friends, even if she kissed him, and he pushed her away. Maybe things can go back to the way they used to be between them. Easy and comfortable and uncomplicated, before she had to let her feelings show on her sleeve and ruined the delicate dynamic they had. He holds the door to his office open, an invitation she can't decline, and she steps in before she has a chance to understand what she is doing.
Andy takes a seat on one side of his desk, as he occupies the other, and opens the container, still hot enough to have steam coming out of it.
"I guess it's Liv's doing?" Andy asks as he passes her a fork, before he digs in.
They are sharing, then.
"Mmm..." He hums with his mouth full. He has a little bit of sauce right next to the corner of his mouth once again, and it burns in her, the urge to reach her hand out and wipe it clean. She won't do it, not with the way things ended up for her last time she tried that particular move. Instead she shoves her fork into the container too, and then bites down on the food. "She was here a few minutes ago, you just missed her."
"So I guess that means you two made things right?" She asks once there isn't any more food in her mouth.
"I don't know what you said to her, but it clearly worked. She came downstairs today as if nothing happened and made pancakes for breakfast before I had to leave for the station." He admits, and then adds, in a voice that is just a tad bit lower. "Thank you."
"I am just glad I could be of service." She admits.
They sit in silence for a few minutes after that, each taking their turn as they reach out and take a bite, until their bellies are full and the container is left completely empty.
"She asked where you are, you know." Robert adds, as the silence between them becomes unbearable.
"And what did you answer? That I took the day off because I couldn't look you in the eye?" She hisses. It turns out more bitter than she intended it to be, has a bit of venom sent his way.
He was the one to stop her, but he never said that he did so out of lack of attraction, out of lack of want and desire. He never told her she was misreading the situation. Instead, he hid behind a set of rules and left her standing on the other side of them, confused and yes, maybe even a little heartbroken, just as Maya said she is.
And maybe he is so used to things being as they are, just him and Liv against the whole world, that he can't fathom opening his heart and letting someone else in.
"No, I told her you were out sick." He admits.
"And did she buy it?" Andy asks, her brow raised. She knows the answer to that one, just waits for a confirmation on his side.
"No, not even for a second." He shakes his head, and there it is again, that small, tiny smile, one she probably wouldn't have been able to detect when they first met, but now she is certain that it's there. "She just gave me that knowing look of hers, and told me that she knows you would have showed up to work exactly on the dot, even with a 102 fever."
And maybe her words didn't hurt him as deeply as she thinks they did. Maybe he just doesn't care.
"Well, you raised her." Andy shrugs. "You can't start saying now that she is too clever for her own good."
"It doesn't have to be like that, you know." He lets out, his words slow, his gaze looking down.
"Really, Robert?" She uses his first name. She is off duty, and besides, his tongue has been in her mouth. That must have put them on a first name basis. "Then how else can it be?"
She didn't know she still has all that resentment inside of her, bubbling, waiting for nothing but a crack to seep out.
"I really don't know." He looks frustrated, has his head in his hands and his elbows propped against the desk. "But I want to try. You were the first person I made friends with since I have been back in Seattle, and I would hate losing you."
And she can't see him like that, it has something twist inside of her, leaves a sour taste in her mouth as she confesses. "Well, I spent my day off in bed, eating an entire box of Lucky Charm and watching a whole season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
That does the trick, and he chuckles, letting out a true and genuine smile as his eyes widen and he refuses to believe her statement. "No way."
"Well, someone's daughter has been taking over all my free evenings. I needed some time to catch up on my favorite TV show."
"I can tell her to slow down on the dinner and movie invitation, if you want to." He suggests. His fork is between his fingers now, as he plays with it, even though there is no more food left to be consumed.
"I like coming over." She admits. "I wasn't really easy as a teenager." She confesses, and then changes her mind. "No, I was really, really hard. And I know now my dad just tried his best, but back then all I thought was that he is trying to cut off my wings and keep me in . I guess I had to watch the two of you to really appreciate the way he has been everything to me. A father, a mother, a friend, someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on. I know I already said it, but you did a good job raising her."
"Well, I guess I can say the same for your dad, then." He chuckles. She is about to excuse herself, about to head back to her car when he adds. "Can we stay friends?" He asks.
"Friends." She nods, even though there is a tight knot inside her belly telling her there is no way she will be able to be around him and not want to feel the way his lips on hers made her entire body ignite with fire. "And as your friend, I feel like I am obligated to tell you that your face is covered with sauce."
He is quick to grab some napkins and cover his face, chuckling. "Well, you could have said it a little bit earlier, you know."
"Well, we weren't friends earlier. We are now." She smiles. His phone is vibrating, and he gives it a lengthy look, invested in the content of the text message he just got, whatever it might be. His whole expression changes in a split second, the smile gone, now making space for a pout, as his eyes squint.
"What is it?" She inquires. He looks concerned, and she has to repeat her question once again, as if he hasn't heard her the first time she spoke, even though her voice was loud and clear.
"A fire across town. It's a four alarm, and they can't seem to gain control over it."
"That means it will become a five alarm soon." Andy finishes his thought for him.
"Any moment now." He doesn't look at her, keeps staring down at his phone, probably waiting for an update that isn't coming.
A five alarm. Her body is buzzing with excitement at the thought of the heat, the smoke, the adrenaline rushing through her veins as she helps to clear out the civilians or put out the fire. "Can I...?" She starts to ask, but he cuts her off before she even has a moment to finish the sentence.
"Yeah, go get dressed, and maybe you will even have time to try those brownies Liv made. They are heavenly."
She runs back down to her locker, yet before she even has the time to button up her pants, the alarm goes off, calling them to the scene of the fire.
As Andy enters the engine, he opens the door to the ladder, and they just stare at each other, smiling knowingly, like the two of them are in on a secret they cannot share.
Maybe a good five alarm fire is all she needed, after all.