The Baby Diaries: Spike and Faye

Ch. 11: Dear Baby…

~Trimester 2~

Three weeks.

He hadn't come back and they hadn't heard a word from him.

Faye took on more hobbies.

Jet was worried.

He knew nothing happened to Spike because his calls still went through, but something was definitely wrong with the man.

"Little punk."

Jet muttered as he slammed his communicator down on his bonsai table. He was ticked off. It was one thing for Spike to take off, but to take off on Faye when she was carrying his kid, that just seemed wrong.

And a little unbelievable.

He knew Spike wasn't perfect, but the kid wasn't a bad guy.

Jet sighed and rubbed his face with frustration then stood and walked into the common room where he found Faye, who looked like she was getting ready to go somewhere. Ed was there too, rummaging through some of Faye's belongings that were spread out on the table.

"You heading out already?"

Faye looked up, seeming normal as ever.

"Yeah. We'll get to see the outcome of our bet!"

She had another doctor's appointment.

Jet chuckled softly and nodded his acknowledgment to her but didn't say anything else.

"Then we can start shopping!"

The typical Faye gleam seemed to be very present in her voice.

"Right. Listen, you sure you don't want me to go with you? I really don't mind."

"Jet, it's fine I can go by myself."

"Edward can go!"

Both adults gave her a wary side glance.

"No thanks," Faye continued, "Really, it's all good."

She told them reassuringly then picked up her completed bag and was gone in seconds.

…

Her leg bounced with an annoying anxiousness.

It was only her second time at the clinic, but Faye still wasn't a fan, especially now that she'd graduated from the group of couples to the group of lone women. There really wasn't anything to be ashamed about, she supposed, and It wasn't as if anyone knew her, but she couldn't help but feel bitter at the idea.

Her eyes roamed the room, making their second inspection. Still so many different kinds of people, all with their own story. It made her curious. Her gaze fell on a young-looking girl who sat a chair away from her. She looked about her age, maybe a bit younger, who even seemed to be as far along as her. The girl's attention was held on a journal that sat upon her lap as she wrote away in it. Faye, being the curious cat she was, tried to catch a glimpse of the contents, but couldn't see clearly from her position. The young brunette glanced her way after a moment and smiled.

"Hi!" she greeted in a soft voice.

Faye nearly jumped in surprise, and supposed she'd been more obvious than she thought.

"Uh-hi." She replied, with a quick smile of her own, then looked away. The girl, having not taken the hint held out her hand.

"My name is Kelsie."

Faye returned her attention and shook the hand weakly.

"Faye," she replied, then gestured to her journal. "I didn't mean to be nosey." Kelsie only laughed at this.

"Oh, don't worry- I actually love when people ask." Which I didn't, Faye thought, but she guessed hearing about it would be a better distraction for her wait. "It's a baby diary!" Kelsie gleefully held up her medium sized journal to show the front cover that seemed to be self-decorated with cute stickers and drawings.

"Baby diary?"

"Mmhmm," Kelsie began flipping through pages. "I started keeping it when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it would be nice to write down my thoughts and experiences through this time and each baby milestone until my girl gets here. Ya know- so she can look back at it later and know about her life before she actually entered it. Cute huh?"

Faye pursed her lips in interest.

"Yeah, that actually does sound nice," she agreed.

"See today I was just writing about some of the shopping I did and the overwhelming feelings I had while doing that, but also the excitement. I like to write how things are going emotionally and physically, so I'll probably make another entry after my appointment. It's a really good stress reliver too, you should consider getting one." Kelsie told Faye this with such thoughtful enthusiasm, she almost wanted to ask if she sold these journals.

Faye shrugged in response and her hands went to rest on her lower belly. "I don't know, I mean I'm a little behind."

"It's never too late! You don't seem that far along, and you can just write out what it's been like so far. I live by journaling. It's a great way to express yourself and vent out feelings."

"Yeah maybe…" Faye trailed off in thought, before she could say anything else the nurse, Suzanne, from her first visit popped through the door.

"Salazar-"

"Oh, that's me!" Kelsie popped up began towards the door but stopped in front of Faye. "Maybe I'll see you next time, let me know if you get one." With a polite smile, she was off.

"And Valentine!" The nurse called out. Faye stood up and walked towards Suzanne, she was ready to get this over with.

"Just you today miss Valentine?" Suzanne asked in her usual perky tone.

Faye tightened her grip on her purse as she passed through.

"Yup. Just me."

…

Faye wanted to feel happier than she did.

She tried to ignore her deeper issues in life, it was what she was best at. Running away from all that troubled her. Only to truly trouble herself more in the end. It was becoming more and more apparent to her, however, that maybe it wasn't the healthiest thing to do. And if she wanted to have a healthy baby with a healthy life, maybe it started with her.

Faye wanted to be happier than she was.

Spike walked away.

That was the simple truth.

She avoided thinking about it, talking about it, really just acknowledging it.

Because in reality it hurt really, really bad.

So, there she sat, in a tiny café with her new little blue journal. She decided to take Kelsie's advice and document this new journey she found herself on.

December 2072

Dear baby,

…gosh that sounds kind of lame…I'm not used to doing things like this and I'm not even sure who I should be addressing. I don't even know that I'll show this to one day because I don't plan on censoring myself, but I'm sure you'll soon find out that your mother isn't one to do such things. Since I found out I was having you, it's been an interesting time in my life to say the least. I haven't lived the smoothest life as it is. Believe it or not I was a cunning-bad ass-bounty huntress before you'll be meeting me…well something of the sort. A child was the last thing on my mind, so you were most definitely a surprise. I am 5 months pregnant with you. You have brought me a whirlwind of moodiness, you've turned my appetite upside down and you make me really really sleepy. You also make me cry a lot which is something I hate doing! So thank you for that… And I won't lie (one of my specialties) I was very doubtful about having you at first. I didn't think I could do it, well I still don't know if I can sometimes. I was scared more than anything and very confused and just so unsure. Of myself, of you, of your father…But even though I wasn't planning on you I'm so happy I'm having you.

I really am.

You've brought a light into my dark world and you haven't even fully come into it yet. I don't know where we will be tomorrow, when your born, or years from now, but I already know I will do everything in my being to protect you and give you as much love and opportunity as possible…and I've never been much of a giver, but I want to give you the best of everything. Even if I have to do it alone.

Well, I guess I should give credit where it's due. Your "Uncle Jet" (as he has dubbed himself) has been great. In fact, more than great, more than I deserve from him that's for sure. And Edward already loves you so much it worries me. I know I'm not really alone in this world, but having your own family is just different. As for your father…I don't want to hate him. He gave me you, which is the best gift anyone is ever going to give me. I don't know where he is right now and I don't know why. His mind isn't exactly the easiest thing to figure out. I really wish he was here. I really wish this was happening any other way. And between you and me…I might be in love with the guy. I have faith in one thing, the way he talked about you before he left. If I know one thing about him, it's that he's not a liar. He said you were the most real thing he had. I think he'll be back to meet you and I'll have to deal with that when the time comes…

but if not you and me will be just fine. Because you're the most real thing I have.

p.s. I found out that I lost a bet today.

I love you, my little baby boy.

-Your mother

Faye didn't even realize the tears until a couple fell on the pages as she finished writing. She closed the journal and sat back, then ate her pie in silence.

Author's Note: ISA BOYYYY and thus, the diaries begin! Next chap should be out very soon! Please see notes of previous chapter regarding my question of social media. I'd love to hear from you abt this!

Till next time Space Readers!