I Lived by One Republic
"I'm scared," Fiona whispers. "I don't want to go on the trip. I'll have to leave you and Mama, and I'll have to go in the river. What if I drown?"
Raven crouches down beside her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder.
"Do you think Mama and I would let you go on this class trip if you weren't going to be completely safe?"
Fiona shrugs.
"Mom and I want you to go and have fun," Apple speaks up. "We want you to enjoy the adventure. Swim in the river, climb the mountain, sleep under the stars with all your friends."
"You know, Mama and I have been on some amazing adventures together," says Raven, smiling at her wife. "And even if it was scary sometimes, we did it anyways and came back as better people, braver and stronger than ever before."
"Really?" Fiona asks, staring with wide eyes at her mothers.
"Really," Apple affirms, leaning down and kissing Fiona's cheek. "You'll go have that adventure, and you're going to have the time of your life. Mom and I promise you will be safe."
"Okay," Fiona says, nodding, new resolve burning in her violet eyes. "I believe you guys."
The Greatest by Sia
"I don't know if I can, Apple," Raven whispers, her eyes stinging with tears. "I just look ugly. These scars are just–" she sniffles, "I should just wear something else."
Apple approaches Raven, looking with glassy eyes at her girlfriend's reflection, before wrapping her arms around Raven's shoulders, burying her face in lavender-scented black tresses.
"You're so beautiful, Raven," Apple murmurs, kissing Raven's neck. "I wish you could see how amazing and gorgeous you truly are."
Her voice breaks.
"Your scars aren't ugly, my love. They're beautiful. They're a symbol of what you've survived. Please, please don't feel shame. The only thing you lost in that fire was your self-confidence. All your beauty inside and out is still there. I promise you."
"You have so much faith in me," Raven chokes out. "But why? What's so great about me?"
"Everything," Apple says, her voice raw. "Absolutely everything. You are the greatest. The absolute greatest."
Raven turns, burying her face in the crook of Apple's neck. Apple holds the trembling girl closer.
"If you want to change, that's okay," Apple assures her. "But you look so beautiful in that dress, so full of life and strength. You-you deserve that dress, Raven. You deserve to wear it and be proud of everything you've overcome."
Raven takes a deep, shaky breath before pulling away.
"Okay," she says, turning to the mirror again.
She doesn't like what she sees, but Apple loves everything about her. And that's enough. More than enough. She wipes the tears from her face.
"Okay," she repeats. "I can. I will."
Animal by Neon Trees
When Apple turns and sees Raven sitting in bed, her hair draped like a black veil over her face as she reads, her skin nearly translucent in the pale sunlight, butterflies swarm within her stomach. The chemicals inside Apple are kicking in, sending heat coursing through her. Stop, she tells herself. Raven is your friend. Don't ruin everything between you and her because of this foolish urge. It's too overpowering, though. She wants to be more than Raven's friend. She needs to be more. Suddenly, she's at Raven's side, sitting next to her in the pool of sunshine pouring through the window. Raven looks up from her book, fixing her with that intense violet gaze that always turns Apple's insides to mush.
"Hey, Apple," she says. "What's up?"
She suddenly blinks, her eyes widening as she registers something in Apple. Something that flushes her cheeks and leaves her breathless.
"Apple," she repeats quietly.
Apple feels herself leaning in, her body moving on its own. Raven surges forward, and their lips collide, warm and soft and everything that Apple has ever wanted to feel.
"Raven," she moans as Raven lowers them down, gently drawing Apple to lie on top of her. "I've wanted you for so, so long."
Tears flow freely down Apple's face, turning their kisses salty.
"Me too," Raven gasps. "Me too."
Last Christmas by Wham!
"I love you," Apple declares, her smile radiant in the pale glow of the moon. "So, so much."
She places her hand on Raven's cheek, stroking softly before closing her eyes and pressing her lips to Raven's. The kiss is warm and soft and tastes like the nutmeg from the eggnog. It seems to last an eternity, mending every part of Raven that has ever been broken. When they pull apart, Raven feels like she's been reborn, fresh and oddly vulnerable.
"I love you too," she breathes. "You're–you're my Christmas miracle."
She surges forward and kisses Apple with all the love inside her, burning for this girl like flames.
The rain beats on the window, thunder rumbling in the distance. Raven sighs, blinking back tears as she gazes at the framed photo of her and Apple. Grinning from ear to ear, arms wrapped around each other, the pink sunset behind them. Raven hasn't decorated for Christmas this year. It doesn't feel right without Apple here, arguing with her over the perfect placement of the stockings, dancing with her to the holiday songs blaring from the radio, snuggling into her side by the fireplace as they drink hot cocoa. Raven remembers that gloomy afternoon, the day after Christmas. Apple's lifeless body sprawled on the asphalt, the wailing sirens, the flashing lights, the fierce grip of the EMT, restraining her from running to Apple, to the love of her life whose life was slipping away before her eyes. Raven couldn't do anything. And now she won't do anything. What's the point of Christmas without Apple White? What's the point of life? Raven tips her head back, taking another swig of whiskey. Her head buzzes and she closes her eyes, trapped once again in visions of her lost love. The love of her life. Her Christmas miracle.
Made For You by OneRepublic
Raven looks at Apple sitting beside her on the balcony bench, her hair glowing orange in the glow of the sunset and thinks of how different they are. The warmth of Apple's hand in hers, the scent of her cherry blossom shampoo, the vivid blue of Apple's eyes as she watches the sunset–everything is so perfect. Now, though, watching the childlike wonder in Apple's expression, Raven is reminded of the reason for her easy happiness. Everything Apple needs has always been given to her. All the love in the world showered upon her. This world was made for Apple, for every royal child like her that's ever existed. In this moment, Raven envies Apple. She thinks of the dark days of her life. Shunned, harassed, unloved, feeling like she'll never escape from this dark sea she's trapped in. Apple has always been loved, adored by everybody. How unjust it is that Raven can't say the same for herself. She is pulled back to the present by Apple's soft voice.
"Are you okay, Raven?" Apple asks, her voice laced with concern.
Raven gazes at Apple, at the anxiety in her eyes, and knows that it doesn't matter how different they are. Apple loves her. And though Raven has been discarded in the past, she knows that Apple's love will keep her warm.
Rise Up by Imagine Dragons
Apple has been afraid her whole life. For as long as she can remember, anxiety has ached in her chest. The unknown paralyzes her. Life needs to operate predictably. It must be dependable, steady, never straying from its planned course. When she meets Raven, her security that she's always worked so hard to maintain is yanked from beneath her. She is left hanging, for the first time in her life unsure of what is next.
"I am Raven Queen, and I am going to write my own destiny!"
Apple can't comprehend what is happening. Why is Raven going to ruin their destiny, the one she's devoted her entire life to? What's going to happen to them, to everybody? All she can do that night is cry as her world crumbles around her.
As the months go by, everything changes. New feelings bubble to the surface. Feelings for the girl that broke the life she'd envisioned. A new one is beginning, and she and Raven are in this one together.
When Apple sees the pain in Raven's eyes as Giles delivers the news that the Evil Queen stole the Storybook of Legends, Apple's heart sinks. She can't bear to see her friend who's always so full of life defeated. As she places her hand on the girl's shoulder, she promises herself that she is always going to protect her. Raven Queen is her friend, and she'll do anything for her. And it's terrifying. How far would she go for this girl?
When Apple jumps in front of Raven, blocking her path to the weakened Courtly Jester, Apple is terrified. But raging inside of her is a fierce certainty that Raven will never hurt her. Raven's heart is too good. Apple believes in her. She's so much stronger than she realizes.
"This isn't you!" she yells. "Choose who you want to be!"
She looks deeply into Raven's glowing violet eyes, imploring. Raven is in there. She can feel her, like a beacon of light shining in the midst of this darkness that consumes her.
As Raven is pulled back to her senses, Apple and Briar quickly catch her, steadying her as she regains her balance. Raven looks at her, a grateful smile on her face, her eyes sparkling with tears of relief, and Apple knows where life has taken her. It's taken her to Raven, the girl she loves more than anything in the world.
Girl by Tori Amos
Raven knows that something is wrong the moment she enters the dorm room. The lights are off, and the curtains are drawn. She can feel the despair in the air, as palpable as the pounding of her heart.
"Apple?" she calls, shutting the door and flipping the lightswitch on.
A piercing sob rips through the air. She gasps as her vision narrows in on Apple huddled in the corner of the room, her knees pulled to her chest, rocking with the force of her sobs.
"Apple!" she exclaims, running to her side. "What's wrong?"
She places her hands on her shoulders.
"Hey," she whispers. "I'm here. It's okay."
Apple lets out another sob. It stabs at Raven's heart like a knife.
"Oh, Apple," she murmurs. "Whatever's wrong, it'll be okay. I'm here for you."
Apple lifts her face, gazing at Raven, an intense heartbreak in her red-rimmed eyes.
"Raven!" she chokes out.
She throws herself into Raven's arms. Raven catches her, enveloping her in a tight embrace.
"You're okay," she whispers, gently pressing her lips to Apple's head. "I'm right here."
"She hates me!" Apple sobs. "She knows!" She gasps, her breath ragged and uneven. "She knows everything!"
"Who knows everything?" Raven asks, her voice trembling with fear.
Apple bursts into tears again. Raven holds her close, trusting that Apple will tell her when she's ready. When Apple's sobs finally ease, the girl pulls back, wiping her eyes.
"Read this," she croaks, thrusting a piece of wrinkled parchment into Raven's hands.
Raven's eyebrows furrow. She hadn't even realized Apple was holding it. She raises the letter, and as she reads, her heart becomes heavier with every word. It's hateful. It's vicious. It's years of emotional abuse heaped into one vile letter. I'm so very disappointed in you. I will not have a filthy dyke for a daughter. I raised you to be a queen, not a tramp. You are a disgrace to the monarchy and our family. Raven's stomach turns as she finishes reading.
"Apple," she says, her voice hoarse.
Looking into Apple's watery blue eyes, her heart aches. Apple has spent her whole life being groomed to be the perfect queen. She missed out on a childhood, a loving mother, the simple peace of mind every child deserves. She's never been allowed to be her own person. She has to be what everybody else expects her to be. If she doesn't fulfill her mother's wishes exactly as she's expected to-the product is now crumpled in Raven's hands. Raven grabs Apple, pulling her into her arms and hugging her tight.
"None of that is true," she says, her voice raw. "You are a brilliant, kind-hearted, fiercely courageous soul who doesn't deserve all that you've been through. Your mother is the one who has a problem. Not you. You're perfect just the way you are. Believe me, Apple, okay? I promise."
Apple grips Raven like a lifeline, weeping into her shoulder.
"I love you," Raven whispers, running a shaking hand over Apple's hair. "I love you so much."
i love you by Billie Eilish
"I love you," Raven says, her voice soft in the midst of the blowing wind.
She gazes at Apple, her eyes shining with tears. Apple gasps, her heart beginning to race. She feels a heavy weight pushing in on her chest. Did Raven really say that? Love her? Now Raven is leaning forward, her glistening lips nearing Apple's. Apple gasps again, pulling back. She jumps up from the bench, backing toward the balcony exit.
"Apple?" Raven whispers, her eyes wide with fear as she gazes at her. "Do you not–" her voice peters out, the truth of Apple's silence setting in.
Apple lifts a trembling hand, pointing a finger at Raven.
"Love?" she chokes out. "Tell me that's not true. How can you love me–like, like that? We're–we're friends. Aren't we? We're not–I'm not–"
Apple sharply inhales as she sees the tears streaming down Raven's face. Her head pounds. Tears prick her eyes like tiny needles.
"Raven," she whispers, wanting so desperately to pull the girl into her arms.
She's frozen to the spot, though, her entire body trembling.
"I take it back!" Raven sobs, wiping her eyes. "Just forget I said anything."
She looks at Apple, a shaky smile on her face. Apple can see the heartbreak in her eyes, unable to be concealed. She squeezes her eyes shut, tears of her own spilling down her face. She can't bear to see Raven like this.
"It's okay, Apple," Raven says. "Don't cry. It's fine. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just–you're so kind and caring and funny and smart–I just don't know–"
Then Apple cries, losing all her composure, as she realizes that for the first time in her life, somebody loves her for who she is. Not for her pretty face. For who she truly is inside. Before she knows what she's doing, she's running to Raven. She grabs her by the collar of her dress, pulling her forward. Their lips crash together like cymbals. The kisses are wet and salty like the sea, but they're the most beautiful thing Apple has ever experienced.
"I love you, Raven," she gasps. "I love you."
Smoke And Mirrors by Imagine Dragons
"I love you," Raven whispers, trailing kisses down Apple's sweaty neck. "I love you, Apple White."
As Raven's lips caress every inch of her body, every dream she's ever had is coming true. All her love is swelling like a tidal wave inside her. Every ounce of love is for Raven. The love of her life. Her dreammaker.
"I can't do this," Raven says, her voice choked with pain. "I'm sorry, Apple. I'm so sorry. I have to leave. We can't be together."
She opens the door, running into the night. Apple falls to her knees, sobs racking her body. All the life has been sucked from her, following Raven like ghosts. How could Raven do this to her? All her dreams have just dissolved, emptied from her body by Raven, her heartbreaker.
As the cold metal of the knife slips under Apple's skin, she gives in to the pain, its vice grip carrying her away. Her last thought before her heart forgets to beat is of Raven. Her dreammaker. Her heartbreaker. Her life-taker.
This Is Me by Keala Settle & The Greatest Showman Ensemble
Raven isn't a stranger to the dark. She's been hiding her whole life from it. She can't let anybody see how it's defeated her. She conceals her scars under layers of clothes, layers of skin, layers of resolve. Words shoot her, pelting her heart like bullets. Her mother's harsh voice, insisting that she's just like her, that she's going to be evil no matter what. Headmaster Grimm's gruff, commanding tone, forcing her into a skin she can't wear, a life she can't imagine. Apple White's bossy rhetoric, always the same. You need to follow your destiny, Raven. You're destined to be evil like your mother.
"No!" Raven shouts, quickly sitting up as the nightmare falls away. "I'm not evil!"
She breathes heavily, sweat pouring down her face.
"Raven!" Apple exclaims, hurrying to her side.
She throws her arms around the shaking girl.
"No!" Raven sobs into her chest. "I'm not evil! Stop it! I'm a good person!"
"It was just a dream," Apple murmurs, stroking her hair. "You're awake now. It's over. You're not evil. I promise."
Raven pulls back, shuddering and gasping as she looks into Apple's worried eyes.
"You used to think I was!" she chokes out.
"Oh, Raven," Apple whispers, tears welling in her eyes. "I never did. I was scared–scared of the truth that you're not evil. You're good. Too good to be a villain. Deep down, I knew you weren't evil from the moment I laid eyes on you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you had to be evil, that you had to be like your mother. You're perfect just the way you are. And I love you. I love you, Raven."
Apple is crying now, and in that moment, Raven realizes just how much she loves this girl. This girl who keeps her warm and chases her nightmares away. Who confesses every feeling in her heart, the beautiful and the ugly, so that Raven can feel peace.
"I love you, Apple," Raven says.
She kisses her-her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her lips. Apple kisses her back, and as their sobs dwindle, they kiss again and again. They kiss into the night, each wanting the other to know how loved they are.