Chapter Fourteen

Jim lay facing Spock after, yet another, round of lovemaking, this time she had taken control, riding Spock slowly and nearly driving him insane. It had been the most amazing sight she had ever seen, Spock powerless in the throes of passion and the fact that it was because of her had been intoxicating. The strength he possessed had been no match for her skills.

Spock reverently traced her jaw, touching her psi points and sending her his love through his touch. She could never have imagined this. Being with him. His emotions ran far deeper than she had ever thought possible and they were all for her. Her heart ached at the thought of being forced to leave him when they would return to the Enterprise and discover a way to send her home. It would destroy her but, for now, she took everything she could, choosing to live in the moment and keep it for herself to last forever deep in her heart.

He held her hand, kissing her knuckles and positioning her hand so that her first two fingers were straight where he rubbed his own up and down them. A feeling of warmth and affection spread up her arm and directly into her mind. "This is how Vulcans kiss." Spock shifted and pressed his lips to hers. "And this is how humans kiss. I intend to explore both sides of my heritage in regards to you." He took possession of her mouth, his tongue tracing the seam of her lips and Jim opened her mouth to allow him entry and his tongue traced the contours of her mouth, exploring and twisting to rub against her own. Jim melted in his arms and Spock's arm wrapped around her, pulling her to him where she wrapped her left leg around him and pressed herself against his growing hardness.

"Oh, God. Spock!" She hid her face in his neck, her eyes screwed shut in anticipation.

He pressed inside once more, sliding deep inside her and he thrust carefully and slowly. He took his time, lazy and perfect as they made love once more. She sighed, feeling him stiffen as he came inside her, filling her with his seed as his fingers pressed against the side of her face and encouraged her to her own orgasm through her mind. She gripped his biceps and tightened her leg, drawing him deeper inside her as she pulsed around him, wanting him to stay in her as long as possible. She loved him and he loved her.

He stayed hard, shocking Jim, and Spock smirked as he turned her onto her stomach and gripped and encouraged her to lift her hips. She pushed herself onto her knees, hips up in the air and her front pushed down as he moved behind her, his hips snapping and pushing her further up onto the bed with every thrust. She moaned in appreciation and he lowered himself, one hand gripping her hips to still her forward momentum caused by the power of his thrusts while the other held her breast and pinched her nipples.

"Mmm...I love you. I love what you do to me." She moaned and tried to thrust herself back onto his cock but he refused to let her move, wanting to take control for this round and it only made it more intense. She willingly submitted to him and it was perfect. She felt the vibrations from his chest as he chuckled and started to run his nose against her neck, gently biting her and running a tongue along the shell of her ear.

"I love how you feel. How you surround me. How your body was made for me and your mind is my perfect other half. You are shi'masu, my oasis and you are my t'hy'la, my everything." He murmured the words, branding them into her very skin. His forehead pressed on her lower neck as he moved faster, his hot breath coming in pants as he moved inside her forcefully and skillfully, hitting every spot inside her that made her toes curl and Jim became frustrated at him limiting her participation. She moved a hand to touch herself and her fingers grazed his cock, causing him to pause and shudder.

Jim shook underneath him as she began to rub herself as Spock impaled her, only adding to his pleasure as she tightened and loosened around him as she hunted for her own orgasm. Her legs trembled as she squeezed his member and she felt the familiar tingle and sparks of her impending orgasm, more noticeable as he pushed in and out of her forcefully. She couldn't get there. She needed more and her tormentor seemed to know this but it was the best kind of torture.

His hand moved from her hip and joined hers to work her and he played her body with incredible skill. She screamed as she came and Spock went one, two, three more times before he roared as spent himself once more inside his t'hy'la.

He rolled them onto their sides and stayed in her as long as he could until he softened and slipped out. She turned her head and kissed him, reaching her hand down and stroking the fingers that held her and Spock groaned and tightened his hold around her body.

"I will never let you go, my t'hy'la. You are mine."

The words should have frightened her but they didn't.

xXx

Spock held Jim as she slept. He couldn't believe that he finally had her and she had him. It went both ways. She was his and he was hers. He gently rested his fingers on her face and letting her thoughts and feelings flow into him. It was perfection and his Vulcan blood sang.

He could already feel the small threads of a weak link forming but only accessible via touch and easily breakable with time and/or distance and he pulled her flush to his body, tilting her hips as if they were puzzle pieces to fit together and wrapped his legs around hers to hold her in place. He fell asleep, calm in the knowledge that he was joined to her in body and mind but wanting more.

Spock felt his mate, yes-his mate, stir in his arms and he realized, with sadness, that they had separated slightly in the night. He could sense her hunger through his touch and her need to go to the bathroom.

He did not wish to let her go but he restrained his instincts in the face of her needs. He needed to provide for her and care for her until she healed. She was so strong but she needed him right now.

Jim spun him his arms and winced at the movement, her face lined with pain that seeped into Spock's mind and he did not like that at all. Her hair was a tangled mess, strands falling into her eyes and Spock tucked a small section behind her ear to better see her face. He smiled at the beautiful sight before him but Jim frowned. Worry was rapidly replacing her happiness and placing her pain to the back of her mind.

Spock's smile fell and Jim touched the side of his face, but not with affection so much as worry. "Spock? I think something is wrong with you. You're...you're not behaving the same. You're starting to become...different."

Spock pushed away and stood, unashamed at his nakedness and pulled on his pants, deciding to forgo his underwear for speed. He had just gotten to the entrance when he heard a scuffle and a cry of pain.

He spun around to see the blond had fallen to the floor but was trying to stand, her legs wobbling under her weight. There were love bites and small bruises littering her body but it was her unsteady legs and her ankle that caused her to stumble, likely from their activities.

Hot guilt filled the pit of his stomach and he went to her, wrapping her in the furs from the bed and locating her clothing. He helped her to dress and was reaching for a hypo to ease her distress when she stopped him, her expression full of love. "Spock, it's not a horrible thing that's happening to you but it does worry me." She looked away and he could see tears forming in her eyes. She screwed them shut and they fell in lines down her cheeks. "What if you weren't in your right mind when we-" shaking herself, she faced him, her lips turned down and a line forming between her eyebrows. "What if I was taking advantage of you and it wasn't true consent?"

Fear began to take over and Spock could not allow her to think and feel these things. He swiped a thumb across her cheek, taking away her tears and looked her in the eyes where blue met brown, and willed her to believe him.

"I have been affected but my feelings for you had already been present and were simply brought to the surface. I loved you from the moment my mind touched yours on that transporter pad." He raised himself higher on his knees and kissed the tears away on her other cheek. "Why do you think I pursued you so persistently on the ship?"

She closed her eyes in relief but more tears leaked out. Spock moved his lips higher and kissed the lids of her eyes and Jim let out a shaky breath, her body relaxing at his ministrations. "Ok. I trust you."

She started to stand, only to fall back with a wince. "Maybe you can help me up?" Jim asked him, embarrassed by her current state.

He reached towards her and she smacked his hands away. "Oh, no. You are not carrying me!"

She shifted and Spock rolled his eyes and moved quickly, administering the hypospray before she could protest. He wished to have joined her mind and removed her pain telepathically but he knew she might not be comfortable with the full extent of his abilities just yet.

The pain lines on her face smoothed and she stood on shaking legs and leaned heavily on Spock as she hobbled to go to the restroom and make her way to the fire so she could eat.

Spock felt a small sense of smugness when Jim grumbled under her breath about Spock causing her to have to walk bow-legged. "Stop smirking, Mister Spock. You know this means that you're cut off for a little while."

Spock's mouth fell in disappointment.

"We can still do other things though." Her smile was full of promise and Spock's hands trembled at the possibilities and a strong feeling of lust that flowed through his mind as he tried to focus on making breakfast. Oh, the things he could and would do to Jim...

xXx

Jim started to cut up a root vegetable and asked Spock to get a small section of the meat that they were storing in their make-shift refrigerator, ice carefully stacked in the small stone cube. He quickly procured the requested items and, by the time he had returned, Jim was squeezing a citrus fruit over the vegetables, tossing in a salt tablet, and closing the lid on the pot creating some type of stew.

She was becoming creative with their limited selection of foodstuffs and had suggested possibly trying to grow herbs and seasonings from the packaged supplies Atoz had provided to see if they would grow from the cuttings. The idea had merit and Spock trusted it since Jim was quite skilled at botany.

He handed Jim a tuber-like vegetable and she started to cut it into small cubes, putting on a separate pan and off to the side. She wiped her hands off with a wet washcloth and sat, staring at the wall. Spock could see she was deep in thought, her teeth worrying her lip and her eyes not focused.

He sat next to her and stirred the contents of the pot, waiting for her to start the conversation. He started to grow concerned when ten minutes passed and she still had not moved. He started to cook the meat over the fire in the pan and it was only when the smell of their food started to permeate the cave that Jim seemed to come to herself.

She wasn't smiling but she wasn't angry or sad. She just seemed determined. "Spock, I want to see where the doorway was."

Spock clenched his jaw as he divided their food and put it onto plates. He had hoped that she would accept the way things were and couldn't understand why she wanted to continue to put herself through this. It would be a fruitless and dangerous endeavor.

She would never be able to mourn the loss of their former way of life if she continued on the path she was carving. It would only cause her more pain. He had not been successful calculating the odds and numerical statistics, his mind had been clouded since they had arrived and it was difficult to concentrate on anything but being with her...with Jim. His baser instincts had been overriding his grasp on logic and it was an unfamiliar feeling.

Jim didn't take the plate, instead she fixed him with a determined stare. "I need to do this." She shook her head and closed her eyes, clearly fighting back tears. "I can't just give up on ever getting back to the Enterprise and I want to visit the doorway every day."

Her jaw jutted out with stubbornness and her blue eyes turned a darker cobalt as she prepared for a possible fight from Spock. "I have to do this, Spock, and I will do this with or without your help but I'd prefer it to be with your help."

Spock understood the five stages of the human grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Right now, Jim was trapped in the first stage. Spock sighed. If allowing Jim to visit the cliff where doorway had deposited them would assist her in moving through the stages of grief then he would do so. He would do anything for her and he knew that she would be far safer if he went with her rather than her being alone and sneaking out. Her injury would put her at extreme risk in the hostile environment. He knew Jim would venture out there whether or not he wanted her to go so he would help her.

"Very well. We will make the trip tomorrow-" The smile that lit up her face and made her eyes glow made all the risks to her that Spock knew were out there faded away.

It may have been her request and idea but he still would not allow harm to come to her. "However, you will ride on the sled since your leg is broken and we will not remain at the cliff for more than an hour. The risk of hypothermia is too great and both of us are highly susceptible as this is not our natural habitat."

"Thank you." She took the plate from Spock's hands and started to eat with enthusiasm, planning their trip in detail and Spock was pleased to hear her thoughts. He was also surprised at the detail in which she had planned everything. It was...annoyingly efficient.

xXx

Jim scowled at the back of the Vulcan who was pulling the sled. He had wrapped her in so many blankets and furs she wasn't sure she would even be able to stand up, much less breathe under their weight. Thankfully, Atoz had included tinted goggles which decreased their chance of snow blindness from the reflection of the sun on the white and, in some cases, blue landscape surrounding them.

She was impressed with Spock's strength as he pulled her and their supplies. She knew that she would not have done as well on her own and was a little grateful that Spock had prevented her leaving without him but she'd never admit it even under threat of death.

They traveled for two hours before the ice cliff began to loom over them, dark and foreboding as if they weren't meant to ever return to that place. She fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve, unsure and feeling guilty at practically forcing Spock to take her here. Just what did she hope to accomplish? They had no communicators, no tricorders other than those in the medical kits, no tools, and nothing that could potentially open the doorway to their time.

She just wanted to see it for herself. She wanted to guarantee that there was no way to return home. Maybe something would happen, maybe nothing would happen but they would never know unless they tried.

They reached the wall of rock, snow, and ice and Spock began to set up a small area that sheltered them from the icy wind. She moved to help him but he forestalled her motion and began to take out the heating lamp, plastic tarp and the food that Jim had prepared in anticipation of their journey.

He helped her maneuver out of her seat and ensured that they were both ensconced in their small tent. "This is the area that we come through, Jim. There is nothing and nobody here." He touched the rock face. "The entrance is sealed and-"

In the middle of Spock's dialogue, Jim heard a faint beeping that had no place here. "Shh-"

Spock opened his mouth to argue but she threw up a finger to silence him and she heard it again. "Do you hear that?" She whispered.

Spock's eyebrows drew down and he looked as if he was ready to bolt and drag her away from the place with him, far away and back to their cave. His body became tense and his hands closed into fists. She tilted her head and strained her ears to hear the noise again but it was silent. She almost cried in devastation.

She flung off the blankets and furs and pulled herself up with incredible difficulty to get to the rock, determined to hear the sound again, to try and figure out what it meant and if it was their salvation. Spock gripped her waist and she couldn't tell whether it was to pull her away from the cliff or steady her but she pushed forward and started pounding on the rock frantically, her fists and wrists bruising with the effort.

"We're here! We're here! Can anybody hear me?" She screamed and screamed, hoping and praying that somebody would respond.

She almost collapsed in relief when she heard Chekov's voice through the rock face. "Kommander? Iz zat you? Ken you hear us?"

Jim sobbed into her hand and had to use the wall to support herself as her legs grew weak in relief. "Yes." She croaked and cleared her throat. "Yes!" She shouted. "I hear you!"

She turned her head to see Spock had backed away from her, his face blank of all emotion. "Spock?"

He jerked his head in a 'no' to her but reluctantly moved forward to stand next to her, pressing his hands against the rock wall.

She had no warning before it dissolved in front of them, her weight that had been being supported by the wall disappeared and she fell straight into Captain Pike's arms.

The sudden change in temperature caused the sensation of needles piercing her skin and Jim grimaced against the wave.

"Jim? Jim!"

Pike started to panic at Jim's silence, his gray eyes searching for the medical team that he had ordered to beam down the second they had heard her voice.

Hazel eyes suddenly filled her vision and the whir of a tricorder, far too close to her, filled her with a sense of panic. The sudden influx of sound was over stimulating for her and she batted the offending objects away and began to seek out Spock, her worry for him consuming her. She saw him on a hovering stretcher, unconscious and his skin tinged green as his body adjusted to the sudden temperature change and Dr. M'Benga began barking order to the staff surrounding him. He was still, far too still and she began to fight the hands holding her down.

"Spock! Spock!" She couldn't stop the panic that tightened her throat and made the food they had eaten earlier threaten to come up. She needed to get to him, to make sure he was alright but Enterprise staff restrained her and forced her onto her own stretcher.

God! No! What if she'd killed him by forcing him to return when he clearly hadn't wanted to. What if he'd had some kind of psychic connection to the planet and it was hurting him because they'd left so abruptly that he'd had no time to even prepare. She would never forgive herself if something happened to him. She loved him more than the world itself!

Another sting to her neck and she went limp. Her head lolled on the stretcher and the worried faces of Pike and McCoy hovered above her. She didn't want to see them. She had to get to Spock to make sure he was ok.

"I fucking hate fucking hypos." Jim muttered and she still struggled to rise but Pike's relief at her response was palpable.

"I know, Jim. I know." He laughed and stroked the top of her head. Jim saw tears in those gray eyes and, just for a moment, she knew he loved her like a daughter just as her own Pike had.

McCoy started removing her coat, wrapping her in a warming blanket and stabbing her arm with an IV. He was in his element as a Doctor and caregiver but Jim ignored it all, her focus on Spock and angry that she couldn't be by his side.