As Bakugou followed Eraserhead's directions to his apartment, his mind wandered. The ambient city noise filled his ears and numbed his brain. Honestly, he was starting to get used to this numbness that seemed to follow him like the plague. And that scared him more than he'd like to admit.
When he finally made it to the apartment, he entered hesitantly, anxiety made his heart pound. The door opened without a squeak and shut behind him with the lightest click he had ever heard. None of the floorboards creaked under his weight either, though that was likely due to the carpeted flooring. Distantly, he wondered how many loops it would take for the plan to succeed. Or would it always fail?
Despite the high stakes and constant anxiety, boredom seemed to be his worst enemy. He tried to fight it off by snooping around and memorizing the layout of the house. He took note of the minimalist (but not quite un-lived in) style of the decor and the specific placement of utilities and furniture that implied a careful consideration for both convenience and strategy in the case of a robbery or attack.
After he finished exploring the house, Bakugou wasn't quite sure of what he was or wasn't allowed to touch. He decided to just sit on the couch to try to reflect more on the circumstances of the time loop. Then the thought struck him, leaving him in an almost catatonic state of shock.
This could be... it shouldn't be but... could this be... Deku's quirk?
When Bakugou finally came to, there were four knocks at the door. Twice, then a pause, than twice more. A quick glance at the conveniently placed clock informed him that it had already been several hours, the afternoon had bled into evening. His eyes were heavy and bleary, so he figured that he must have fallen asleep.
A thrum of anxiety once again stirred in his chest as he rose to open the door. Did the plan work? Did Eraserhead have D-Midoriya right there? Or was this someone else, did something go wrong? Why would he knock and not enter immediately. Did he have to restrain Midoriya? Not that that would be a surprise, but maybe he had given Bakugou his only key? No that's stupid, a pro hero would never be that stupid. Right?
His inching towards the door gave him enough time to try and process all of the possible scenarios, but the knocking at the door returned in the same pattern, if not with a bit more force. So, he took a chance and opened the door to a crack.
Sure enough, it was an even more tired Eraserhead, followed by a blank looking Deku. All he could look at was Midoriya, standing there without any emotion, the void that stood in place of where his eyes should have been sucked in Bakugou's gaze, somehow even more empty and powerful than they had been a few loops prior. It was almost like it was getting worse. As though the desire to end his life and grown stronger and overtaken him like a blackhole overtakes the light.
Bakugou didn't notice the hero's concerned glance as he stumbled back, opening the door wide as he tried to use it as support to regain his balance. But it didn't matter because as soon as Midoriya registered Bakugou's presence, his eyes seemed to regain a small amount of clarity.
He ignored Bakugou on the floor and turned to the hero, "Y-y-y-you said that... that someone I knew ne-needed help… a-and I know th-that he was-wasn't at school t-to-t-toda-today, b-but... Kacchan doesn't, K-K-Kacchan w-won't... I-I wouldn't..." he whispered the last part with a certain finality while looking towards the ground, "Be of any use h-here..."
And oh if that didn't hit Bakugou right where it hurt.
Bakugou flinched as unexpected nausea hit him like a punch to the gut and all he could do was scramble to his feet and attempt to make it to the bathroom in time. In his quick retreat, he didn't notice Midoriya's eyes widening in surprise and arm reaching out instinctively, ready to help despite himself.
Bakugou heaved into the toilet, having barely made it. He didn't know what was happening, but it didn't matter. All he could focus on was the burning of his throat, the churning of his stomach, and the coldness of the tile of the bathroom floor.
When he finally stopped dry heaving, the first person at his side was Midoriya.
Always Midoriya. It really pissed him off, but at that moment, it was impossible to feel anything but relief that he was still alive and not covered in blood, bruises, or vomit or burns.
As Midoriya rushed forward to his side, Eraserhead appeared at the bathroom door, standing guard just as he said he would. That was right, they could do this. Maybe instead of trying to help Midoriya... he could swallow his anger and irritation and let Midoriya help him for once. Maybe that would distract Midoriya from how much he wanted to die.
Ignoring how little effort he had to put in to act weak, he struggled to get back to his feet. Midoriya hesitantly reached towards him before pulling back. Bakugou almost made it up alone before his balance betrayed him and knocked him back over. He was totally acting! This was fake! He would never need help so blatantly like this! Nope! Especially not from De-Midoriya. Nope!
At this, Midoriya shot forward to catch him without thinking about it. But just as he steadied Bakugou, he seemed to second guess himself, though he refused to let go of him until he was supporting himself on the sink counter.
He scrambled backwards as Bakugou took a second to steady his breathing, "S-s-s-sorry! I wasn't, I-I didn't, I know there was-I... Sorry!"
Bakugou hesitantly looked up to meet his eyes, not even having to put in the effort to school his expression into a dazed state. Those void eyes seemed to have dull stars shining through them, and Bakugou's hope soared. He could do this.
At eye contact, Midoriya pointedly averted his eyes and bowed as low as he could. A few awkward seconds passed, and Bakugou absentmindedly wondered how this looked to Eraserhead. Just as Midoriya hesitantly looked up, confused as to why he wasn't getting shouts or explosions in his face, Bakugou passed out with two black sleeves reaching out to meet him.
Bakugou was greeted with two dark green eyes staring at him just as he woke up. He stayed still for a moment, his brain working hard to conjure his short-term memories back into the front of his mind. Just as it all clicked, Midoriya leaned forward as he sat up. A loud 'bonk' seemed to echo in the room.
Then, with two teenagers gripping their foreheads in pain, an amused snort made the hero's presence known to them, "We have much to discuss."
Both of the boys stopped the dramatics and straightened up. Bakugou finally realized that he had been placed on the couch, probably carried by Eraserhead, while Midoriya had stood over him as he slept. The hero must have kept a watchful eye, regardless of how tired and uninterested he seemed to appear on the outside. Interesting. At least he kept his word and followed through with the plan.
Bakugou spared a quick glance toward the clock and noted that it was now 20:37. Just three hours and twenty-three minutes. He could do this.
"Well, Bakugou-kun, would you like me to start, or do you think you can explain it without throwing up and passing out?"
Bakugou scowled at that, of course he could explain it.
Without thinking, he looked at Midoriya and spat out the first thing that came to mind, "Fucking hell, I've been stuck in a time loop and I can't figure out how to get out of it! Your lame ass is the only thing that I could think of that could get me out of it!" Not entirely true, and it sure as hell wasn't by choice like he had implied... But Midoriya didn't have to know that, and if he thought that he had been brought here by choice then he would likely be more cooperative. And why the hell was Eraserhead giving him a fucking mirthful look?!
Midoriya somehow looked even more confused than before, "B-but, I mean, who am I to quest-question you, but... Me? W-w-why me? You went t-to a Pro, a-and you-you're telling me that freaking Eraserhead can't help you b-b-but I can, can?"
Ah, that was why Eraserhead was amused. Well, fuck.
"We... were trying to figure out a trigger, and I think you're the problem here," Fuck, phrasing. That was awful phrasing. A~and the hero was laughing at his struggles, that bastard! De-Midoriya is just a difficult person to deal with! He'd like to see him try to deal with this shit nerd!
Thankfully, the hero cut in, rolling with his on the spot explanation, "We believe that you might be doing something that is a trigger for the loop. Apparently, so far, the only person who has acted differently without Bakugou-kun's interference in several loops. Do you think you could explain why this has... happened?"
He trailed off as D-Midoriya began a muttering storm of bullshit analysis or something. But as he tried to listen closely (for once), he caught some words that alarmed him.
"...why...feeling...urges...stronger than...but...how...what..."
Apparently, Eraserhead also heard some key words that garnered his concern, shown by his now widened eyes and tense shoulders, "Kid," he grabbed Midoriya's shoulder, "Slow down."
At that, Midoriya stumbled over his words to apologize until he was interrupted again, "Are you saying that you don't remember the loops?" A nod, "Then I have an idea of something we can try later."
Eraserhead turned towards Bakugou, "Wait, kid, when does the loop reset?"
"A-at midnight?" he choked as he remembered the feeling that came with the reset.
With furrowed eyebrows and a deadpanned tone he continued, "Okay, then we'll need to try it right at midnight. Thanks for being cooperative, kid," he nodded to Midoriya who blushed, scrambled to cover his face with his arms, and denied the need to thank him.
"W-w-w-well we still have a cou-a couple of hours left u-tn-until then. What aweg-are we go-going to d-do until the-then?" Midoriya swiftly changed the subject.
Bakugou paused. Well then, there's a very good point.
"Erm," Eraserhead scrambled to come up with a decent idea, "I have card games?"
Both Midoriya and Bakugou blinked and started laughing—though the former was more subdued and tried to cover it with a cough while the latter let it out rambunctiously. Eraserhead turned around and started walking to the kitchen in an attempt to hide a slight blush of embarrassment. Not that it worked.
And in the end they did play card games for a few hours.
The tense atmosphere that was originally coating the room was slowly lightening. Despite having two (three) socially awkward people making attempts to pass the time with card games, the dynamic shifted to easier and more playful interactions. Bakugou couldn't help but wonder when Midoriya had become so funny (as long as you ignore the fact that he apologized any time he thought he had said something rude—which may or may not have been every time he spoke up).
In these few hours where he was forced to be civil, and he was much too tired to protest this silent rule, somehow Midoriya wasn't anything like what he had originally thought. All of the ways Midoriya had shown that he was looking down on Bakugou were starting to appear as though they were just part of his personality. Was Bakugou the one in the wrong this whole time? There was no way! And as the night wore on, it began to annoy him how often Midoriya tried to suppress himself. In conversation he apologized for speaking his mind, any compliments were denied and swiftly deflected, and an obnoxious stutter haunted his speech.
Bakugou had always considered that these were just part of what made Deku, Deku. But, when he remembered back to the playground and the forest and the river, he couldn't remember any of these habits. But late elementary school and into middle school, these were key character traits. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened.
But he didn't like the only answer that came to mind.
As he won another round of hearts effortlessly, and Midoriya congratulated him for another flawless victory, Bakugou wondered if he was really that good at cards.
And sure enough, the next round, he watched Midoriya carefully. His moves looked like good moves, but actually were poor ones strategically. And yet Midoriya seemed to be intently focused. Most people would brush that off as someone who just sucked at a game, but then it clicked. Midoriya was letting Bakugou win.
No.
He was doing everything he could to sabotage Eraserhead so it would always be Bakugou who would win.
Bakugou could feel himself starting to get angry. Did that nerd think he needed help? Did that nerd think he wanted any help? He thought the fuck not!
"I-I, it-it's not like that! K-Kacchan!" Deku protested in that exact way that only pissed him off further. Bakugou was so angry he didn't even notice that he hadn't meant to say anything out loud.
Bakugou didn't even realize that Eraserhead was silently taking in this scene, trying to figure out what the hell the relationship between them was. Honestly, Bakugou didn't even know what he was saying anymore, just that he was mad and it was Deku's fault. It was all Deku's fault.
It was always Deku's fault.
But then, Deku ran.
He ran like he always did.
He ran like the W̷̛̪̣͚̟̱̦̝̖̘͇͇̱̟̳̝̱̦̰̱̅̒̋̎͒̃̓ͭ͟o̧͐̍ͫ͌́̚͏̸̮̖̗̻̻̦̯̳̗̲̥̤͝r̛̦͚͖̗͎̞̫͍̱̺̤ͮͧ̐ͭ̾ͬ̊ͅt̟͙̣̪͈̔̑̍̈́̈̈͆ͮͦ̈́ͨ͋ͫͥͤ̀́̚̚͝͝h̷̵̘͕̜̺̗̊ͬ̅͆ͮ̒̅̅̉̔́ͤͤ͢ͅl̨̨̰͎̹̲̥̦̼̰̥̄̿͗͗̾͋͛̕͟͢e̡̛̫̬͖̙̮̯͖͕̙͈̱͍̖ͦ̎ͪ͗s̨͚̲̰͖̦̲͇̖̮͕͈̪̳͍̙̒̋ͮͭ̓̇̒̊̂̿̓̽͊̈͜͟͢ͅs̡̢͕̖̩͔̔̔̉ͫ̍͑̀̒ͫ̂̈́̍́̈ͬ̎̔͞ ̡͇͚̗̞͚͍̫̬̮̠͑͗ͪ̋̄̑ͥ͛͋́ͦ̏͆ͯ̅̀̽̀͜Dͤ̿̀ͫ͘҉҉͎̝̞̫̝̲ę̛̮̘̫̞͖͇͍̊̐̅̽ͭͫ͌ͤķ̵͉̹͖̱̭̫͉ͦ͌̈̏ͣ̍ͫͥ̀͘ͅu̧͂ͧͫ̓͂͏̣̫̤̹͉͚̲̗͘ he was.
It took Bakugou a second to calm down and realize what had just happened. Eraserhead had already launched from his seat and began to chase after him, but there was a sharp pang in his chest that told Bakugou it would all be for nothing anyway. He glanced at the clock.
23:27
A deep breath and then running.
The chase was reminiscent of that day where Bakugou had discovered how easily a moving train can crush the human body. Why was Bakugou always chasing after Midoriya when it was supposed to be the other way around? He didn't understand, he wasn't sure if he wanted to understand.
At some point he had caught up to Eraserhead, but he didn't really care. This was his fault, so he would deal with it.
He could see the edges of his vision blurring, the burning of his muscles fading, his focus sharpened and he pulled ahead of the man and decreased the distance between him and his goal.
As the gap closed and he became almost close enough to touch Midoriya, he suddenly took a right. Taking a second to stop moving forward and correct for the sudden change in directions, Bakugou lost some distance between them. But the next time, when he took another left, there was enough distance between them that Bakugou saw it coming and was prepared to follow.
His hyper-focus was more of a hindrance than a help in the end, as he didn't realize that Midoriya had headed towards a mugging, his mind drowning out the sounds of conflict that were too loud to miss. And with the distance that had been between them, Bakugou arrived just as Midoriya grabbed the mugger's wrists and struggled to hold him back.
Of course, he leaped forward and tackled the fucker to get him away from Midoriya. The gun that was in his hands clattered on the ground and the man—boy, actually now that Bakugou looked closely, was he homeless?—that was being mugged then scrambled away without a word or second glance.
The mugger squirmed beneath him, so Bakugou had to focus on keeping him restrained. Maybe he could knock him out?
So he slammed the guy's head into the concrete, hoping that would be enough. Luckily for him, it was.
Bakugou stood up and wiped off his uniform pants. But when he turned around his world came crashing to a halt once more.
And there was a part of him, deep down inside, that knew he couldn't fix what he had broken.
Midoriya stared at the gun in slight fascination, studying it like it was a divine object from the gods. A thud got his attention, and he focused back on his surroundings, away from (his soon-to-be savior) the weapon in his hands.
Kacchan was getting up from where he had tackled the mugger. But before he could say anything to calm Kacchan, Kacchan spoke first.
"STOP IT DAMMIT!" Kacchan sobbed. But that couldn't be right… "FUCKING STOP IT! STOP KILLING YOURSELF YOU BASTARD!"
Kacchan broke down and crumpled to his knees.
He whispered, "You can't die…"
Was that what anguish sounded like? That's not right. It's not right at all. It can't be right. And he made it sound like Midoriya had done what he was about to do before? He couldn't have done this every loop, could he? It couldn't be his fault, could it?
"Kacchan just doesn't understand." Midoriya said in a desperate voice, disregarding Bakugou's weird phrasing and pleading for him to just accept it—not bothering to hope for understanding, because Kacchan never understands.
"Understand what?" he wailed, openly crying.
He couldn't stop himself anymore.
Midoriya couldn't stand the sight of Kacchan kneeling before him.
He closed his eyes and turned away.
"I need to die."
He pulled the trigger and smiled.