Getting up off the floor I realize that I'm way more stupid than I thought. They brought me up here to see Undyne. Undyne is trying to kill me! I'm such a moron! I looked around to see that no one was up here. Maybe I won't be hit by a spear. I walked forward with nowhere to go. I guess normal people would try to go back to the surface. I know the people up there are better off without me. But the people down here also are better off without me.
I deserve to die but I have to see that kid again. I looked over to the edge and it was complete darkness. Why should I try to see them again? I could just fall and there would be no one to notice. It's not like they'd miss you.
My pace quickened as if I was trying to run from my thoughts. I know I could never escape them but it was worth trying. I kept running, I looked down and the floor was a blur. I saw a blue streak through the blurry floor and I stopped to investigate. Could it be a monster? Could I have hurt them? Am I a murderer? I'm careless for running like that.
I went over to the blue thing. There was a row of blue dots. So they weren't a monster. I took a brief sigh of relief. Why are they here? They were that pretty blue like that glowing water from before. My hand went to touch them. Then a new row of these dots appeared on the other side of me. I went to try to pick one up. But spears appeared out of each of the dots. I instinctively tried to move my hand. It was too late.
I felt a sharp pulsing pain in my hand. I tried to not make any noise because that would be insensitive, people have gone through worse. Before I could look at my hand. My soul was taken out. I didn't have time to fully process this.
My soul was being buried with spears. I tried to dodge them but there was no point. Looking down at my hand I saw a spear in it! I tried to pull out my hand. It felt like the spear went through a bone. I looked over at my soul. It was 3/20 H.P. I gave up and concentrated on pain. In a silent hell, covering my mouth to try not to scream.
In a blink of an eye, I was warmly greeted by death. No more pulsing pain, no more worries, and most of all no more of those wretched thoughts. I felt nothing during the few seconds before I heard the child's voice.
"You cannot give up just yet… Chara! Stay determined." I was back being my fucked up self. I was back surrounded by those blue dots. I'm so dumb and ignorant putting my hand right on top of them! I deserve to die. The spears take too long to kill me. Maybe I'll go off the edge?
I walked to the edge nearly stepping onto the dots. Then the spears shot out at me. "EEK!" I instinctively let out. I jumped back on hearing the loud noise. When I looked at the ground the spears were gone? Never mind that Frisk do what you came here to do. I went to the edge… Again I looked down to see how far I'd fall. It was completely dark like before. Except for Undyne, she was standing right underneath me. I couldn't make her out well but I saw that suit of armor.
Should I try to stay alive? What's the point? I'm so selfish! I deserve to die! But what about that kid? No, they don't care about you. You can't die, idiot. What should I do with these feelings? I was about to break down. Then I saw the blue dots appear.
I was conflicted about what to do. I could die or the 'healthy' answer was to run from her. But I realized something I only wanted to die by my own hands. You're so weird! My hands balled up in fists as a pit formed in my stomach. Who wants to only be hurt by themselves?!? Well, you do you little fu, screw, bitc.
Get it together Frisk! If you're not careful you'll be stuck in a death loop. Just run from the damned dots, you idiot it's not that hard. That's just what I did. I ran from my problems just before the spears popped out. Push all of those feelings back till later. Stop getting caught up with yourself.
Blue dots kept on appearing in front of me. I jumped over them and my soul was pounding out of my chest. Everywhere I went there were more blue dots. I gasped for air and I didn't realize it but I was slowing down. So slow a spear grazed my leg.
Not as bad as before. I was bleeding but I deserved it. I continued running until my soul came out of me. It was also surrounded by spears. If I was only better I could have dodged them. Still, I'm a loser and died. That's when I realized that this might take a while.
This was a circle. I was getting a little better at dodging but not good enough. After my fifth time, well more like tenth try, I was getting desperate. Maybe if I call Papyrus or Mom? Ok! Worst comes to worst I'll start fresh when I die.
I was careful to not step where I figured out Undyen would start to attack me. I first called Mom. Ring...Why would she pick up the phone for me? Ring… She has her own life and she could be busy. Ring… She hates you. Mom never picked up. Why did I think this was a good idea?
I can call Papyrus! Yes, and since he's close with Undyne he can call her off! When I called it went straight to voicemail. I could call Grillby but what could he do to help. I already burdened him enough. Plus he's at work.
Ok, let's do this again! This time let's just walk. It's not like I'm dying anytime soon. I took a step forward and a barrage of dots came from the ground. But I just stopped in front of them. As I waited for the spears to emerge I thought about what Mom could be doing. I know she has a life and all, but why can't she just pick up the phone? No no you don't deserve her. There's no reason for her to call a bratty kid!
Then the spears came up. It was mostly stop and go from there. I didn't die but the whole floor was a maze with dead ends and unnatural turns. I finally thought I was home free. There were no more twists and turns.
I gave up on stopping in front of the spears and made a run for it. The number of spears increased but I was determined to get out of here. I didn't have a care in the world at that moment. Despite being tired and my self-esteem telling me I can't do it.
I ran down a narrow pathway and I could almost taste freedom. There were even fewer spears. I'm finally doing something right! It was a dead-end... I heavily breathed desperately trying to catch my breath. This is why you don't believe in yourself. I'm so stupid thinking I could be free from this torture. I'm not worth the freedom!
I was still panting for air but then I heard the clanking of Undyne's armor! I froze in place, shaking a bit, and put into a cold sweat. My eyes darted to her. I don't know why I was terrified. Each step she took my soul pounded louder and louder. It was like a nightmare that you couldn't scream in. I watched in fear as she was only a foot away from me.
As I saw her hand move I involuntarily flinched and let out a dog-like squeak. At the site of that Undyne drew closer. In a blink of an eye, she picked me up by the jacket. At this point, I was trembling like a leaf and my soul felt like it was going to explode. She swiped Papyrus's jacket and let me fall onto the floor like a rag doll.
I have to tell her that it's his jacket. She walked away from me. If I don't act now it will be gone. "T-that's p-p-Papy's jacket." I tried not to stutter but it just came out that way. I hope it didn't annoy her. She turned around and three spears appeared. I braised for impact thinking she'll kill me. I felt water run down my face. Normally I'd be mad about that but right now all I knew was fear.
Instead of hitting me, they ripped through the floor. I fell for a long time. I did learn something from this. The fall doesn't kill you, it's the landing. I heard a loud thud before losing consciousness.
In the nothingness of what I thought to be death, I heard a different voice. "It sounds like it came from over here." Wait is that Chara? I felt so tired I couldn't think straight.
"Oh! You've fallen down, haven't you?" Are they talking to me? I wanted to go back to sleep.
" Are you ok? Here get up. Chara huh?" I groaned. I don't wanna deal with Chara stuff right now.
" That's a nice name. My name is…" Then it was getting bright. I felt so cranky and I was rudely awakened by the smell of garbage. When I opened my eyes I was face first in yellow flowers that looked just like Flowey… I went to pull up my hoodie still disoriented from the fall. But it wasn't there.
Then the whole fight with Undyne just hit me. I was such a good for nothing being so scared with Undyen! On top of that, I lost the jacket that Papyrus trusted me with! The jacket hid the fact that I was human. The only time I had to deal with people fighting me was when I was being all 'emotional' in the forest.
Stop it! You don't have time for this. I was looking around and there were heaping piles of trash in a shallow lake. Another reason why you should die, you disgusting polluter. No, no, no. Can't go there, remember Frisk there is nothing that could make you forget or feel better. I can't die with the whole determination thing, I can't cut with the higher risk of infection at the dump, and sadly I can't drink!
I started singing songs from Gypsy to get out of my head. The dump only had trash piles and nothing else. I guess no one would want to be here with the smell. I didn't mind the water on the floor though. I was to my neck in trash water and had to keep my newly hurt arm above water. But it was kinda fun playing around in the water.
As I walked towards the cavern the water slowly thinned out. Oddly there was a stuffed dummy a few feet away from the end of the cave. That was weird but I shook it off and walked away.
Suddenly the dummy burst out of the water splashing me in the process. This was the final straw. I'd tried to be good but then again what was the point? After I'm done with whatever this dummy wants I'm going to give in to my demons. Who cares if I die or get an infection?! I put both of my arms behind my back.
After making that promise to myself I looked closely at what was in front of me. The dummy still looked hand-stitched but now the fabric has an orange tint. The most drastic change is that instead of having dot eyes now they have full-on eyes with furrowed eyebrows.
"Hahaha." They laughed inhumanly without taking a breath. "It's just like you to run away." It's true I'm not even strong enough to face my problems. "I am a ghost that lives inside a DUMMY." I was a bit confused with a dummy claiming to be a ghost. You're so closed-minded. Who told you what a ghost could be?
"My cousin used to live inside a DUMMY, too." See it's a common thing. How could a human like you not know that?
"Until...YOU CAME ALONG!" They are right. I don't know what I did but this cutter deserves all the blame. "They were a shy sort. Living a lonely life in the RUINS... They saw you and hoped you might TALK to them. Perhaps strike up a friendly conversation. But NO!!! You were too COWARDLY to talk to them. Being carried like a BABY!" How could I disagree with that, it's all true.
"And broke their little ethereal heart. Despicable. Despicable! DESPICABLE! HUMAN! I'll show you what REAL heartbreak is!" He seemed done with his monologue. I wonder when he kills me will it hurt more? I feel like him breaking my heart would hurt worse than normal death.
"Ok, but you gotta promise me it will hurt more than normal death." I said to myself. It felt better to look happy especially now that I know he is a person. Something that might hurt me more or try to make me feel better.
" Pitiful. Pitiful! PITIFUL!" He shouted. I guess he's not much for conversation. Pitiful… I still remember how much pity I used to get even though I never deserved it.
"Aren't you just a little chatterbox! Sounding like a skipping record you silly." I said optimistic but my smile wavered as I had my soul ripped. I don't know why I lingered on the pain. I never realized how much pain a tiny soul could hold.
These attacks seemed easy enough. He had cute dummies shoot out bullets at me. Even though I could never beat him. During these attacks, I noticed that the main dummy's torso had teeth. The whole body was a mouth. You were so selfish that you didn't see his defining feature. As I thought about this I heard him cry out in pain.
"Oww, you dummies!! Watch where you are aiming those magical attacks!" He barked at his minions? Are they minions but didn't he make them? No, let's not go there. You should bring up that magic.
"Magic attacks? What do those have to do with you?" I said curiously. I knew the magic hurt him even though I wanted to deny it. I physically hurt someone. I never thought I would stoop so low. Another reason why I should die!
"Foolish. Foolish! FOOLISH! You think you could defeat me? I'll defeat you and take your SOUL!!" He screamed at me. This was the first time I got screamed at down here. I was reminded of all the times I got screamed at on top. Funny small world isn't it? It was mostly with her. I remember all of the times I tried not to cry and making promises to myself I'd be perfect to never make her mad. Even then I was never good enough.
He seems so determined to kill me. Determined, wait maybe he could kill me! My smile turned true. Might as well make a snarky remark before I go. "Sure thing mister! Show me what you got!"
His dummies came out and I ran into them. At that moment I thought about death. I've been taking advantage of that luxury. As I saw my H.P. go to zero I had my first moment of regret. I heard how your life flashes before your eyes in your moment of death but I've never seen it for myself until now. As I saw my soul shatter.
Death is final. Instead of seeing my subpar life before my eyes, I saw something better. Something I cared about more than me, my loved ones. The best moments from my favorite people. Getting ice cream with dad, any free time Jack had to hang out with me, and all the sleepovers with Suzy. Every moment with my underground family Grillby, Mom, and Papyrus. Do I wanna die? I was filled with regret.