"Do you want to go for dinner?" Michelle asked Clara as she appeared at her desk, bag in hand and ready to start her weekend.

It was Friday and Clara had only heard from John once, the day before, when he texted to say that he wouldn't be able to meet for a drink. She was disappointed, but knew that she still had Saturday to look forward to.

"I don't know."

"Oh come on. You can't spend your Friday night pining away for a man that you are never going to be with because you're too afraid to make a move."

Clara had told Michelle about her dinner with John, as well as her phone call with Jenny. Michelle still believed that Clara should throw caution to the wind, but Clara told her that it was looking more and more less likely she would do that.

"I'm not pining, I have a lot of work to finish."

"No you don't. I know that you just finished your edit an hour ago and you've been staring at your phone hoping John will text."

Clara glared at Michelle. She hated how well she knew her.

"Fine. Dinner, but that's it."

"Great. Get your stuff and let's go."

John had finished his last meeting with the group from Cyber Canucks and wonder if maybe he should call Clara to see if she wanted to have dinner. After Wednesday night he had thought that maybe he should put some distance between them, but the reality was he couldn't stop thinking about her. He knew he shouldn't be having feelings for her, but there was just something about her that kept drawing him in. She had a beauty, both inside and out, that he just wanted to be around and he wanted nothing more than to see her again before tomorrow. There had to be a way for him to be friends with her while not thinking of her as anything more. He had to for the sake of his relationship with his daughter, but also for the sake of his friendship with Clara. She had become important to him and he didn't want to lose her because of the fondness he had for a woman he shouldn't be attracted to.

"John, thanks again for coming all this way to meet with us," Perry, the CEO of Cyber Canucks said as he approached John at the lift.

"Thank you for the hospitality," John replied. "I think this is going to be a great partnership."

"Me too. It's rare that I meet a fellow businessman who has similar values to mine. This can be a rather cut throat industry, so to have an ally like you across the pond is good."

"I couldn't agree more."

The lift arrived and both men got in.

"Do you have plans for dinner?" Perry asked.

"No, not really," John responded.

"Well, my wife and kids have gone out of town for the weekend. I was just going to go home and probably order a pizza, but would much rather get to know you outside of the office over a couple of steaks."

John had really hoped to see Clara, but felt like this would be a good opportunity to learn more about Perry. Besides he was going to see her tomorrow and it was likely best to not spend too much time alone with her.

"Sure, that sounds great," John answered.

"Thanks for the distraction," Clara said as she and Michelle paid their bill.

"Any time. But I still think you need to nip this thing in the bud."

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to go home, have a long hot bath and focus on how to keep my feelings in check while at the concert tomorrow."

"I know a way you can keep them in check," Michelle said and Clara gave her a quizzical look. "Come have a drink with me, Gary and his friend Tyler."

"Michelle," Clara drew her name out in annoyance. "I've been over this a thousand times. I'm not looking for a fix up or a one night stand."

"Come on Clara. Just one drink to meet the guy. If you're not going to do anything about your feelings for John, then at least see if a handsome, well built, man can distract you."

"No."

"I promise I won't make any comments, just see where things go naturally. One martini at the Library Bar and then you can go home to your bath and pinning."

"Did you say Library Bar?"

"Yes, that's where they are and I know how much you love their cocktails."

Clara knew she should say no, but knowing that was where John was staying was temptation enough for her.

"Okay, one drink," she finally agreed.

"Perry you didn't need to pay for dinner," John said as the two men stepped out into the night and onto the busy street of Queen West.

"You and I both know it's a tax right off, but I wanted to show my thanks. I tell you what, why don't we finish this meal off with a drink and you can pay. Your hotel has a great little cocktail bar in it, if you haven't tried it yet."

"That's what I hear," John answered. He had wanted to try it with Clara, but it looked like he wasn't going to be able to get out of this night with his new business partner.

"So you haven't tried it?"

"Not yet."

"Well that settles it," Perry said as he hailed a nearby cab. "We're going."

Clara and Michelle entered the lobby of the Royal York, where Clara instantly started looking around to see if by chance she could see John, but of course he wasn't hanging out in the lobby. They walked through, towards the left, and up a few steps to the bar where they were greeted by the host, who escorted them into where Gary and Tyler were sitting near the back.

"Hey babe," Michelle said as she gave Gary a quick kiss on the cheek and sat next to him, leaving Clara to sit next to Tyler. "You remember Clara."

"Of course," Gary said. "Clara this is Tyler."

"Hi," the dark haired man said as he smiled at her.

"Hi," she said in return.

A server came over to take the girls' drink orders and immediately after leaving Michelle took over the conversation, grilling poor Tyler about his life's story. Clara knew she was only doing it because Michelle knew that she wouldn't, which was true. Tyler was ruggedly handsome, with brown hair, a nicely groomed beard and chocolate coloured eyes, but Clara really wasn't in the mood to get to know him. All she wanted was a martini and a chance run in with John.

John and Perry walked into the bar and were sat at a small table near the entrance. John liked the bar as it instantly reminded him of a library you might find in a swanky mansion back home with dark mahogany wood walls and winged back chairs at some of the tables. There was a classy intimacy to this place and he was really starting to wish he was here with Clara. A server came over and both men order a top shelf scotch.

"This is a nice place," John said as he looked around more.

"Yeah, I don't get here often, but I do like to bring the odd client here for lunch sometimes."

Just as John was about to look back at Perry, he spotted a woman in the back that he thought looked like Clara. He wasn't entirely sure because she had her back to him, but his heart let him know with a little flip, that he thought it was.

"It would be a nice place for that. I bet the food is good here too." John said glancing back over at the table at the back while Perry answered him. The woman was sitting next to a man and across from a couple and the more he looked the more he started to think he recognized the auburn haired woman as Clara's friend.

"That was the last time, I was here," Perry said as he finished his story, which John had completely missed.

"Well I'm glad that we got the chance to come here," John said, trying to deflect the fact that he wasn't paying attention.

He needed to focus and stop thinking about Clara, but it was hard when he was about ninety percent sure that the woman across the room was her and it looked like she was on a double date. She had never mentioned dating anyone and he started to wonder if this was a first date or something that had been going on for a while. Regardless, he shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

"So you work with Michelle," Tyler said to Clara, trying to make small talk.

"I do. What about you? How do you know Gary?" Clara asked, not really caring, but not wanting to appear rude.

"From university. We met during Frosh week when we pledged the same fraternity at U of T."

"Oh what a week that was," Gary added and the two men laughed clearly remembering an inside joke from that time.

Clara stared at her martini, wishing she could just down the rest of her drink, so she could go home. It was a stupid idea for her to think that she would run into John here and a complete waste of her time. Tyler started asking her more questions about where she was from and how she ended up in Toronto, to which Clara was polite and answered, but she really didn't want to play this game.

John kept glancing over and it looked like the woman was having a good time, nodding her head and talking with the man next to her. What if this was a date and it went well, would Clara want to take this guy to the concert tomorrow and not him? She hadn't mentioned being busy when he saw her on Wednesday, but maybe she didn't want to tell him about her love life. He knew he had no right to ask about it, but now he really wanted to know what was going on, not that anything was happening or could happen between them, but if Clara got a boyfriend maybe that would change their friendship.

"So who's the person over there you keep looking at?" Perry asked, bring John out of his thoughts.

"Pardon," John said.

"There's clearly someone over there that has caught your eye. I would say a pretty woman, but I can see that you're married and I would hope that you weren't thinking of doing something you might regret later," Perry said glancing at John's hand, bringing John's eyes to his wedding ring.

"Oh no, nothing like that," John stated. "I'm a widower, actually."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Perry apologised. "I had no idea."

"It's okay. It's not something I talk about when it comes to business, but I see how you would think that."

John didn't think much about his ring anymore. It had been a part of him for such a long that he forgot he had it on most of the time. He started twisting it on his hand as he glanced back over at the table with the foursome.

"So then is it a woman who's caught your eye? Because I can finish this and take off, if you want?"

"God no, it's not like that at all. I just think I see a friend back there, but I'm not entirely sure."

"Oh a friend from back home? That's a weird coincidence, if it is."

"Not really. She lives here," John said.

"That's nice that you have a friend here," Perry said.

"It is," John said.

"Do you want to go say hi?"

"No," John answered shaking his head. "Looks like she might be on a date and I don't want to interrupt."

"You know there's a new arcade bar that opened up not far from here. Do you guys wanna go and check it out?" Gary asked

"Sounds fun," Tyler answered. "What do you think, Clara?"

Clara had no desire to continue this night any further or to spend any more time making small talk.

"I'm kind of tired, so I think I'm just going to head home. Besides, video games aren't really my thing."

"It'll be fun, come on," Michelle added.

Clara glared at her trying to get her to stop. Michelle may have been able to convince her to come this far in their night, but this was definitely where it was ending. Gary waved the server over and asked for the bill, saying that he would get the groups drinks. Once he finished paying they all stood to leave and as soon as Clara turned her heart skipped a beat when she spotted John sitting at a table with another man. He was in the middle of talking when he turned his head and his eyes locked with hers. Clara gave him a smile and a slight wave, which he returned. The group made their way towards the exit, when Clara told them she was going to go say hi to John. She thanked Gary for the drink and told Michelle she'd see her Monday. Tyler told her it was nice to meet her, which she said the same just out of politeness. The other three left and Clara made her way over to John's table.

"Hi," she said as she approached.

"Hi," John replied with a smile. "What a surprise seeing you here."

"Yeah, it was kind of an impromptu thing. I'm glad to see you're finally trying this bar."

"Aye, Perry suggested it. Oh I'm sorry, Clara this is Perry from Cyber Canucks. Perry this is my friend Clara.

"Nice to meet you," Perry said as he extended his hand.

"You as well," she replied as she shook it. "Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to stop and say hi."

"Oh, that's okay. You're not interrupting at all. In fact, I should probably get going," Perry said as he finished the rest of his drink. "Why don't you take my seat."

"Is that okay with you?" Clara asked John.

"Sure, but isn't your date waiting for you?" John asked and Clara wasn't sure, but she almost caught a bit of disdain in John's voice.

"John, thank you for a nice evening," Perry said as he stood. "It was a pleasure getting to know you better and I look forward to my trip to London."

"Yes, likewise," John said as he stood to shake Perry's hand and to say goodbye.

Once the other man was gone, both Clara and John sat back down.

"You don't need to sit with me, Clara." John said as he downed what little of his drink he had left.

"I thought maybe we could have that drink you mentioned on Wednesday," she answered, wondering why it seemed like John was angry.

"We could, but what about the people you were sitting with?"

"They left. I was heading home when I came to say hello."

"Bad date, then?" John really wanted to find out who the guy was that was sitting next to her, but didn't want to flat out ask.

"Not a date," Clara said.

"Really, because it looked like it from here."

Clara wasn't entirely sure, but it almost sounded like John was jealous. Why would he feel that way, unless he felt the same way Clara felt about him. She may have had just enough alcohol in her system to try and test the waters.

"Really, not a date."

The server came by the table and John ordered another scotch, while Clara ordered a Manhattan. John still wanted to find out more about Clara's night, wanting to know if she was interested in the man that was with her.

"So why not a date? That guy looked like he was a handsome young man."

"Because I'm not interested in men like that," Clara said.

"Oh, and what kind of men are you interested in?" John asked, clearly his drinks were making him drop his guard as he was walking down a path he shouldn't likely be going.

"Not young men, that's for sure."

"So if not young, older?" John asked quirking an eyebrow at her.

"I've never dated anyone my own age. Well once, bow tie guy, but that's it."

"How much older have these men been?" John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Could there be a chance that she was interested in him?

"I think the biggest age difference was about twenty years."

"Twenty? How old were you at the time?"

"I was twenty. He was one of my lectures at uni."

"You're kidding?"

"No, I'm not."

The server brought their drinks over and once he was gone, the pair clinked glasses and then each took a sip.

"I don't think you're as innocent as I thought you were."

"I can be bad when I want to be," Clara answered as she took another drink but locked eyes with John. They were quickly crossing over into dangerous territory and she was starting to wonder how far this could go.

"I don't doubt that for a second," John replied, wondering where this was all leading.

Clara liked the flirting that seemed to be happening, but she knew she needed to tone it back. This wasn't an area they should be in and as much as Clara wanted to find out what John looked like out of his shirt, tonight wasn't going to be that night. Or any night for that matter.

"What about you?" Clara asked.

"What about me?" John asked in return.

"What type of guy were you in uni? I bet you liked to play the bad boy rocker."

John smiled and gave a low laugh. "No, not me."

"Really?"

"Really. Sorry to disappoint, but I was the romantic type. Fell in love, got married and had a kid all before I was 25."

"That doesn't disappoint," Clara said. "That's really sweet and amazing."

"Amazing? What's so amazing about being a boring family man?"

"I'm 31 and I am just now kind of figuring out what I want, career wise. Relationship wise is a whole other story. Sometimes I think I'll never find the person I'm supposed to be with and here you are having already lived it. You knew you wanted to be with River, have a family, and start a business."

"Well it wasn't quite as simple as that, but I suppose."

"Of course it wasn't, but my point is that you didn't need to date a bunch of women to find the one. Lightening struck for you right off the bat."

"That it did." John said softly, remembering how he felt when he first met River.

Clara brought her drink up to her lips and took a sip. This conversation had been going in a good direction, but now she had clearly made John think of his wife, which was definitely something she didn't want to do.

"You'll find that man one day Clara," John said, trying to reassure her after seeing her look change. "You're a very smart, kind, and charming woman."

Clara smiled shyly at him. "Thank you. You're too kind."

"I only speak the truth," John stated and Clara could here the sincerity in his voice.

"We certainly have come a long way since we first met," Clara said.

"I was very wrong, back then and I'm glad that you've come into my life, Clara." John took a drink from his scotch.

"Me too," Clara answered, giving him that infectious smile he had come to adore.

John wasn't entirely sure what was happening between the two of them, but he knew that his feelings for Clara were growing with each encounter he had with her. It may have been a long time since his heart had felt this way, and it certainly felt like Clara might be feeling the same. However, there was no way this could go beyond the friendship that they had made. He needed to remind himself of that.

"You've become a really good friend and I don't ever want that to change," he said, needing to hear it out loud.

His words brought Clara back to reality. He was a really good friend and that's all it was going to be. It didn't matter what may have been happening between them tonight, they were friends and she had to be content with it only being that.

"I feel the same," Clara replied with a slight smile, but John couldn't help but notice her eyes that looked sad.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" John asked, wanting to change the subject and bring back the happiness he loved to see.

"Well, the gates open at 7, but I thought we might go down earlier and check out the Ex."

"I don't know what that is, but I'm up for anything."

"It's the Canadian Exhibition; kind of like a giant fair." Clara chuckled. "We can get in for free with our ticket to the concert."

"Even better. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"Why don't you just come to my place around 2 and we can go from there."

John agreed and they chatted a little bit more as Clara asked him how his meetings went and he told her how it looked like the partnership was a done deal, so overall this had been a very successful trip. They finished their drinks, John paid and the two made their way back out to the lobby to say goodbye.

"Thanks for the drink," Clara said, as they stopped where they needed to part ways.

"You're very welcome. I'm glad that we finally got to have it."

"Me too."

Clara wanted to hug him, but thought given the turn their conversation had taken maybe it was best not to, so she just wished him a good night and made her way to the subway station. She had had a good time with him, but couldn't help wondering if John was also fighting feelings the same as her.

John watched Clara walk off and then went to wait for the lift. This whole thing was crazy. He shouldn't have these kind of feelings for her and couldn't help but wonder what River would be thinking of him now. God he missed her, but if he were being honest with himself, he hadn't been thinking about her nearly as much as he had been. He was starting to see that it was possible to be happy despite her not being by his side and for that he really had Clara to thank for.

John got in the lift and rode it up to the 10th floor where his room was. Once he stepped inside he took his blazer off, toed off his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed taking his wallet out of his back pocket. He opened it and took out the small photo he carried of River, and ran his finger over the glossy picture.

"John, you need to face reality," River said as she slowly sat up in bed and stared at her husband standing at the foot.

"I refuse to think about that. We're going to beat this River ."

"W e need to think about what if we don't ."

"No," John said firmly as he turned from his wife. "I can't do this without you."

" Yes you can. You have to , for Jenny."

John sighed, his shoulders slumping forward . He had never felt so defeated in his life.

"Sweetie, come here," River said as she patted the empty spot next to her on the bed.

John turned and laid down next to his wife, laying his head in her lap, while she started stroking his hair. He should be taking care of her, but here she was taking care of him.

"I can't live without you ," he whispered.

"You can and you will."

"Why are you giving up?" He asked.

"I am not giving up John Smith. I will never give up," she stated sternly. "But I can't pretend that it's all going to be okay, and I need to prepare you for the worst."

They laid there in silence, both not wanting to say the truth out loud.

"I love you more than anything in this world ," River eventually said. "And I know that you feel the same. But I need you to make a promise to me."

"What?" John asked.

"I need you to find love again. "

"No, River," John said as he sat up and looked her in the eyes.

" Listen to me. You're not an old man and you have a lot of life left to live and I want you to find someone to share that with ." River turned and placed her hand on his chest over his heart . "You have such a big heart John, and I know you can find room in there for another person. "

"I can't promise you that. I just can't." John shook his head, lifting her hand off his chest and bringing it to his lips.

"Please, Johnny." She was one of only two people he let call him that and using that name meant that this was something important to her.

"How can I? There is no one else out there that I could ever love the way I love you. "

River took her hand and ran it down the side of his face.

"I know it's hard for you to imagine, but in time and when you are least expecting it, some woman will come along that will make you begin to forget this pain. "

"No there won't. I will never forget this and I will never stop loving you . H ow can I love two women at once when my heart belongs to you and only you. "

John shook his head, bringing himself out of his memory and lifting his hand up to wipe the tears that were rolling down his cheek. He would love River until the day he died, but for the first time since that conversation he understood what she was getting at. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that the woman River was talking about would be someone nearly half his age and his daughter's best friend. He had never felt so conflicted in his entire life. He slipped Rivers photo back into his wallet and tossed it onto the nearby desk. He walked into the bathroom, pulling his shirt out of his trousers and unbuttoning it as he went. He looked at himself in the mirror and wondered what could someone as beautiful as Clara see in him anyway. Somewhere along the road his youthful reflection of a man with long curly brown hair, striking cheek bones and piercing blue grey eyes, had been replaced with this older man, with the same eyes, but surrounded by wrinkles and more grey than brown hair. He had no idea what to do about his emotions, but he knew that in a couple of days he'd be back in London, so instead of thinking about it now, he just wanted to focus on a nice day out with Clara and once he was back home and back to reality, he'd worry about it all then.