Chapter 11: Quirin Part 2
Chapter Text
Warnings: Medical situations and minor character death. – Bit of a brutal chapter.
Quirin part 2
Cassandra was bleary as she woke up, for a moment she had not realized that she'd fallen asleep, hadn't she been on her bed reading waiting for Varian to come back? Something had woken her, what was it? There was another wordless shout, a small bang, like an explosion. She quickly jumped up and flung her door open. The corridor was busy with people, most of them either heading towards, or away from the door that led down to Varian's lab.
"Cassandra!"
She turned to see Eugene rushing up to her. "We could need your help."
"What's going on?"
"It's Varian, he…"
Cassandra didn't hear the rest of what Eugene was saying as she was already running towards the lab. She got halfway down the steps before she bumped into Edmund, who held her back. Eugene was close behind her. She looked down onto the scene below and gasped.
"Varian!"
Her blood ran cold. Her heart stopped in her chest, as she wordlessly reached out to him.
"He's not hurt Cass." Eugene said, putting his hand on her shoulder.
Not hurt, how could he not be hurt? He was drenched in blood. Though he wasn't moving as if he was hurt, as she watched he blindly grabbed bottles from the shelves and threw them onto the floor, the table was already overturned with papers littering the room. Minerals and fluids were mixing as they smashed on the floor, creating small blue burning fires and puffs of foul-smelling gases.
"What happened?" Cassandra asked. The two men looked at each other but neither answered, they obviously didn't know.
"Has he done this before?" Cassandra asked to Eugene.
"No."
"I would just leave him to it. "King Edmund said. "But I'm afraid he'll blow us all to smithereens."
Sophia, Cassandra thought. The maid had said that Sophia had been the one to have called him into town, and she had briefly seen Sophia in the hall as she'd run past.
"Back in a minute." She said running back up the stairs, she needed to know exactly what she was dealing with, because she had never expected to see that wild look in Varian's eyes again, she had never expected to see him loose control like this.
"Sophia." She called as she ran up to the tall dark-skinned woman. She stopped when she realized that she was cradling something in her arms.
"What happened? Whose child is that?"
Sophia was clearly shaken, and as she stood with her Cassandra noticed that there were splatters of blood across the woman's apron.
"She's dead." Sophia muttered.
Cassandra took her by the shoulders.
"Who is dead Sophia?"
"Angelica."
Cassandra felt a cold shock run through her body, the pregnant woman, the one who had given her tea after the incident with the horse, the day she had first kissed Varian. That answered who the baby was.
"I'm so sorry Sophia, I know that she was your friend. What happened? Why is Varian acting like this, I know they were friends but…"
"The midwife said that something was wrong, but the surgeon was too far away, so we called on Varian. There was nothing that they could do Miss, the surgeon made it back, but it was too late for anybody to do anything. He said that the uterus had split open on the inside, the baby could have suffocated. Varian, he figured it out, and he cut into her to try and sew her up on the inside because she was losing to much blood. He got the baby out, and the surgeon arrived and tried to help, but there was just so much blood." Sophia was staring wide eyed as she talked, tripping over her words, but Cassandra heard enough to understand.
"Where is the child's father?"
"He dousn't have one Miss. I came here with her, I used to work at the brothel with her. Varian, he came in and recruited us for this place himself. Us and half the woman here, but he and Angelica were close. "Sophia broke down crying as there was another explosion.
Cassandra quickly squeezed her shoulder in sympathy, and then ran back down the stairs. She saw Edmund and Eugene battling with Varian, trying to restrain him. Eugene was reaching up trying to grasp at the glowing vial in Varian's hand, but the younger man was putting up a good fight. She ran straight over to the group, skipping across the pools of bright coloured liquids that were running in streams across the floor.
"Let him go."
Eugene and Edmund looked at each other, Eugene nodded and they both let go of Varian and took a few steps backwards as Cassandra grabbed the young man's hand and pried the vial off of him, placing it safely down on a nearby shelf. Then she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly so he couldn't do anymore damage. He struggled against her at first but as she spoke softly to him some kind of recognition seemed to enter him.
"Varian, you can stop now, just stop now."
He slumped against her, his arms coming up to hold onto her waist, his head fell against her neck and she heard a wracked sob escape his lips. Then, as if all energy had gone from him, his whole weight fell heavily against her and she lowered the both of them carefully to the floor, just holding him as he sobbed.
"Cassandra." She eventually heard a quiet voice. She looked up and saw Eugene gesturing to the floor. Looking down she saw a stream of blue liquid slowly making its way towards where they were sitting. She pulled back from Varian taking his face between her hands, making her look up at him.
"Varian, I need you to concentrate for a moment. Is any of this stuff dangerous?"
Varian looked around, his red eyes barely seeming to take in the room around him, but he shook his head.
"Anything dangerous is in the locked cabinets."
Cassandra quickly looked over at the row of cabinets, they were all still locked. Nevertheless, they couldn't stay kneeling here, waiting to be soaked with alchemy, the blood from Varian's shirt had already soaked through her blouse as he had been holding onto her, she could feel the wetness of it against her skin. She looked at Eugene and Edmund, still standing against the wall, waiting to see if they were needed. Their expressions were unreadable.
"Rescue what papers you can, but then flood the place with a few inches of water, it should help neutralise everything. "Cassandra said, she looked down at Varian trying to see if she was making the right call. He didn't argue, and she hoped that meant her instructions were right.
"We've got this, just take care of him." Eugene answered.
"Come on." Cassandra said standing up and pulling Varian up from under the arms. She pushed him along up the stairs and out to the corridor, the people who had been milling around quickly hurried away in fear. Except for Sophia, sat on the floor, holding the tiny baby.
"Stay here and don't try to blow anything up." She said letting go of Varian, he swayed slightly but then rested against the wall. She went back up to Sophia and knelt in front of her.
"Will you raise the child?"
Sophia looked up at her in shock. She looked back down at the baby and then shook her head.
"No, Cassandra. Not me. Not an orphanage though, please. If I had time I could find him two loving parents, I know I can."
As Cassandra straightened up she saw her father and Frank heading towards them. Suddenly everything clicked into place.
"Two loving parents?" She asked Sophia. Sophia looked up at her nodding. Cassandra pointed towards her father. "He's cared for me since I was four."
Sophia looked down the corridor at the two men for a moment as if thinking, then she held the baby out for Cassandra to take.
"He'll be raised right then."
"He will, he'll be loved."
"I heard explosions." Her father said as he walked up to her. "Are you hurt?"
"No, Dad."
His eyes alighted on the small child she was clutching, she pulled the blanket that were wrapping him back so that he father could see the intense grey eyes looking upwards and the light ginger hair. Her father's face softened, even though he still looked puzzled.
"Well, hello little one."
"Father, this is Quirin."
He looked back down the corridor, his eyes widening when he saw the state of the young alchemist.
"Varian's child?"
Varian, hearing looked towards him and scowled. Cassandra thought it was best to just ignore it.
"No, he's an orphan. He has nobody."
She thrust her arms outwards and instinctively her father reached out to steady the child's head in his hand and wrap an arm around him. He looked down at the little child.
"Oh, poor baby. He is so small. This place does not have an orphanage, do you want me to take him into one of the bordering kingdoms and see if they have a place for him?"
"No, Dad, I want you to keep him."
"Cassandra!"
His eyes widened. Hearing their conversation Frank walked over to them, his fingers gently working through the blankets to stroke the child's tiny hand.
"This is insanity." Her father muttered.
"Is it? King Edmund offered you a chance to have the life you were meant to have, Captain of the guard, and a family."
"I've always had a family Cassandra, I have you."
"Yes, and you were the best father that I could have ever asked for. Everything that I ever needed, but we weren't' a complete family were we?"
"Well, I...
"You, the two of you, and Quirin, and me when I'm around. We could be a complete family."
He looked in bewilderment down at the child
"I…"
"Yes." Frank said. "Yes, I want a child, and If he has nobody."
John looked between Frank, Cassandra and the baby in amazement.
"We'd have to ask King Edmund; the child is a citizen of the Dark Kingdom."
"I cant imagine he'd say no, he really wants you as his Captain."
The baby stared up at the two men, unblinking and unaware of the chaos of his birth.
"Quirin, my son."
Cassandra left the two men alone. She would have wanted to spend longer, but Varian needed her.
She took his arm and led him to his bedroom. He sat down on the bed, staring down at his blood-soaked hands. He was so still that Cassandra would have sworn he was a statue if she had not known better.
She sat on the bed and pulled him forwards for another hug. Oh Gods, he stunk, the metallic tang of blood. He was drenched, she had never seen so much blood. It was starting to dry in patches on his black leather apron and crumble off in a fine brown dust, but the arms of his shirt were still wet with it, dripping even. She could not imagine how horrific the ill-fated operation had been. He seemed completely unaware of his condition, sat on the bed, smudges of blood across his face, solidifying into his hair, making it spike upwards.
She reached out and grabbed his arm, trying not to shiver at the cold dampness, knowing that It had been the death of the friendly pregnant woman that she had met.
"Come with me."
Varian didn't seem to notice that she was there.
She tugged at him harder.
"I said, come with me."
This time he looked up, he looked completely dazed and confused, as if that genius brain of his just could not comprehend what was happening, Cassandra suspected that he was going into shock. He was ghostly pale under all the mess, and as she pulled him up she could feel him tremble. She pushed him gently into the shower room where she started to fiddle with the dials, it didn't take her long to work out how to get a steady flow of warms water running.
"You'll need to take of your apron." She did not say that the rest was so encrusted that she didn't think they would be able to get it off without using the water to wash away some of the blood. Not without both getting more of it on their skin, and that was an unpleasant idea.
She turned to see Varian trying and failing to undo the knots of the leather thongs. His hands were shaking so badly. She went to help him and moving his hands out of the way was able to throw the apron away. She gently led him to the water.
"Sit down." She said gently, he looked like he was going to collapse anyways. He did as she said, sitting with his knees up and head down under the stream of water. She watched as the water ran off him, a solid deep red colour.
She saw Varian's trembling still and hoped that the hot water was helping him a little. When he spoke though, she realised that it was another emotion entirely that was starting to overtake him.
"So much blood."
She knelt down next to him, not caring about getting wet, not caring that the fluid seeping into her trousers was more blood than water. She put her hand on his shoulder.
"But, you are okay with blood now, right?"
"When I'm concentrating on a procedure I don't notice it."
He wasn't concentrating on a procedure right at that moment, so that meant he most definitely was noticing it.
"Shut your eyes."
It was too late, Varian slumped sideways, falling heavily onto her, as she tried to hold him up.
"Great, just great." She muttered.
She heaved him off her, wondering how he could be so heavy when he was so slim. She rolled him slightly over the tiled floor making sure that he wasn't in the spray of water, she'd heard of bad date nights before, but accidentally drowning your romantic interest would be up there with the worst.
She looked down at him for a moment, trying to decide what to do with him. He would wake up soon, but with the blood now pooling around him there wasn't anything to say that he wouldn't faint again. How the hell he had managed to look after her when she was having her operation when he was still bothered by this affliction she didn't know. She guessed it was as he'd said, and he just didn't notice when concentrating on a procedure. She needed to get him clean somehow.
She went back into his bedroom and started rummaging around in his drawers looking for a knife, her hands froze on some papers in the top drawer. Pictures of her, these were not drawn by Rapunzel, she knew that, because Rapunzel had not seen her in the gondola. Is that what she looked like to him? Head thrown backwards, lips wide, a moment of such wild abandon, yet he'd made her beautiful, so much more beautiful than she was in real life, she'd never look that animated, that sultry in real life. She shook herself; she was meant to be looking after him, not snooping at his private belongings. She found a long pair of scissors and rushed back into the shower, relieved to see him starting to stir. She knelt and swiftly cut along the material of his shirt pulling the material back.
"What the..." Varian opened his eyes.
"Help me get you out of this."
He sat up and let her pull the shirt down from his shoulders, first off one wrist and then the other. She threw the offending garment into the corner. That was the worst of the blood gone. She gave a satisfied little huff, that caught in the back of her throat as she took in the man in front of her.
Muscles… that's why he weighed more than she thought he would, she knew he was lithe, but he had a well-toned stomach…This wasn't about that, this was about taking care of him, helping him, with as much gentleness and patience as he had shown her. She needed to help him get rid of the blood, best way of doing it would be to work from the top downwards. She needed to sort his hair first.
"You should get under the water before you get cold."
"What about you?"
"I'm not the one who's at risk of going into shock."
She was getting soaked though, and her clothes were starting to feel heavy with the water. She slipped her blouse off leaving only a thin camisole on underneath as she went to a row of bottles lined up along the wall.
"Will any of these explode?"
"Why would I make exploding shampoo?"
"Well, I don't know. It sounds like the kind of thing you'd do just because you could."
She picked out a bottle, unstopped it and gave it a sniff, cinnamon… that explained why she sometimes caught a whiff of that when around him, she just thought he had an addiction to pastries.
She walked over to where he was sat in the stream of water and knelt down behind him, she reached up to massage the shampoo into his hair.
"Cassie, what are you doing?"
"Shush, just let me take care of you." She said trying to figure out where the worst of the staining was.
"I'm not a child. I can do that myself! OWW!"
Cassandra had snaked her hand into his hair and pulled Varian's head sharply backwards, raising herself up she could stare down at him.
"Has anybody ever told you should learn to accept help?"
He shot her a petulant look, huffed, and folded his arms.
"Listen to me, you took care of me when I needed help, and I'm going to take care of you now, and that's just the way it's going to be, so stop complaining and deal with it."
She let go of him, he gave a little grunt but didn't complain any further. It took a long time for her to work the knots out of his hair, enough time for her to chastise herself for not being more gentle with him, it just wasn't something that came naturally to her. At least the water was almost running clear now, just when she thought she was done she felt Varian leaning back heavily against her. For a moment she was afraid that he'd fainted again, but then she realized that he was so exhausted that all the fight had finally left him. Slowly she ran her hands down the tense muscles of his back, gently kneading with the heel of her hand as she did so. He gave a light little groan, she reached up and slowly rubbed his shoulders, just letting him have a chance to be still, to rest against her.
"Come on." She said gently. "We should get the rest of your clothes off."
He straightened at that, tensing again.
"I can do this bit on my own."
"Of course." Cassandra conceded. She got up of the floor, letting the water run off her as she exited into the bedroom. She dripped over the floor as she did so, she had not prepared them any towels, and she hadn't expected to let herself get soaking wet. She walked over to his wardrobe and brought out two thick towels, she went and laid one out on the bed for Varian and wrapped herself in the other one as she searched through the limited items in his wardrobe, eventually she pulled out a patched blue shirt and loose tan trousers for herself, and a cosy looking woollen jumper and black trousers for him. She quickly dried off and got changed, Varian coming into the room just as she slipped her arms through the shirt. She heard him but didn't turn around. She'd laid all the clothes out on the bed for him and knew that he was getting dried and dressed behind her, she stared at the wall suddenly feeling awkward.
"You can turn around now."
She did so. Varian looked exhausted, there were no longer any signs of blood thank goodness but he was pale and there were dark circles beneath his eyes, his hands were covered in raw red scratches and welts from where he had smashed the alchemicals earlier.
"Come to my room, your bed, well… it probably needs burning, as do all your clothes. I'll organise for somebody to do that, so you don't have to deal with it."
"Thank you." He said heavily.
They walked through the citadel, ignoring the concerned and scared looks that they were getting. In her room Cassandra made up the bed and wiggled up as far as she could to give Varian room. He stood there watching her.
"Are you expecting a written invitation?"
Varian laid next to her, staring at the ceiling.
"You need to rest."
"Cassie... I…"
"You don't need to say anything, you don't need to do anything, you just need to rest. I'm going to stay here with you, all night, and make sure that you sleep."
Sighing she reached forwards and tugged at his arm. That was all the encouragement he needed. He rolled round, curling onto his side, and rested his head sleepily against her chest.
She was still for a moment, she wanted to be tender, she wanted to reach out for him, it was in her somewhere, but she was so used to ignoring those tender urges that it felt almost unnatural. Gently, she reached for his damp hair, and started stroking it back from his forehead. Looking down she realized that he had already fallen into a deep, exhausted sleep. Despite everything she smiled to herself, his shampoo made him smell like a cinnamon roll, and tucked up in bed, with his weight upon her, she felt like she was wrapped in warm freshly risen dough. Here, for a few hours in the darkness, they could hid away from the horrors of the world outside Citadel doors.
It was the muttering that woke her. She looked around in the dark room waiting for her eyes to adjust. She moved her hand across the bed looking for Varian and was finally able to make out his shape sitting on the edge of the bed. She sat up and wiggled close to him. He again seemed unaware of her, as her eyes grew more and more adjusted to the night she was able to make out his hands stretched out in front of him. They were moving, slicing gestures, waving gestures, fingers continuously pulsing, he was moving as if he were… as if he were operation on someone.
"Varian, what are you doing?" She said softly, not even sure if he was present in the room with her or if his mind had taken him entirely back to earlier that day.
"I need to know what went wrong." He answered gruffly.
"Varian, come back to bed." She said resting her hand on his shoulder.
"No, I need to know. I could have saved her."
"Varian stop this. You couldn't have saved her. Nobody could have, some people just can't be saved. You brought her baby safely into this world, that's enough."
"No it's not."
She used all her strength to pull him backwards onto the bed.
"Let go." He said struggling against her. "I've almost figured it out."
She threw her leg over his body straddling him, and in his surprise she was able to pin both his hands to stop them moving.
"You're too intense sometimes Varian, it can be scary."
"So, I've been told."
"There is nothing to figure out. You did everything humanly possible, and then probably a bit more because you are you. There was nothing else to be done. Now stop doing this to yourself."
He looked up at her before quickly looking away, and although she could not make out his features and he didn't make a sound, she could tell he was crying. She rolled back off him, lying still next to him again.
"Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be harsh. I'm just not as good at being gentle as you are."
"S'okay. "He turned his back to her, shuddering as if trying to contain sobs. She put her arm around him, reaching to find his hand in the darkness. She stayed holding him till she was certain he was asleep again.
Sun was streaming through the window when movements woke Cassandra up again. She raised herself up on her elbow to see Varian already sitting up in bed. She reached for his shoulder.
"Varian."
"I'm going to go help bury the body." He said. "Best to do it fast in this heat."
"Other people could do that."
"I need to do it Cassandra."
She thought for a moment, honestly, she wished he would continue resting up, but he wasn't shaking anymore, and although his shoulders hung down heavily he seemed to have regained his senses.
"Ok."
She watched him pad across the floor barefooted and slip out the door.
Cassandra headed down to Varian's room for the third time that day. It was almost nightfall and he hadn't returned. As she walked round the corner she saw a couple embracing, she stopped and hesitated as she recognised Sophia and King Edmund. Before she could turn and disappear the kiss ended, and they spotted her.
"Cassandra."
"Sophia, are you feeling any better today?" She asked ignoring what she had just seen.
Sophia sighed. "It was hard watching her be buried this morning, when only yesterday I was holding her hand."
Cassandra nodded.
"Again, I'm really sorry. Wait, you were there? Varian hasn't returned yet."
"He said he had something he had to do."
Cassandra nodded; her worry must have shown on her face.
"He'll be okay, you have to trust that he'll be okay."
Cassandra gave a small smile.
"I'll uh.. head back to my Dad then." Cassandra said turning back on her heel, leaving the couple alone. Any other day, the fact that something was going on between the King and Cassandra's ex-nurse would have raised a lot of questions, but today she had too much going on to even question it.
She went back to sit with her father and Frank, after getting the official permission to adopt the baby they had spent the day sat around admiring the child, trying to figure out how to change nappies, where to get a cot so the baby didn't have to spend to much time sleeping in an empty drawer, and the big question, what the heathiest way to feed him was. They had figured goats milk which had led to Frank travelling around the nearby farms till he found a goat to purchase.
The sun was setting, and Cassandra was considering sending out a search party when Varian came through the open door of John and Frank's room. A woman with a large baby tied around to her waist stood behind him.
"This is Cece, I hired her as a wet nurse for Angelica's child."
"Oh, thank goodness, we didn't think there would be a woman available in the camp." Frank said.
"There wasn't." Varian answered.
"Thank you for your assistance."
The young woman stepped forwards.
"Shall I take him now?"
"Yes, he's only had a few sips of goat's milk, he must be quite thirsty."
"It's okay, they never drink too much in the first day. I will get him to fed though, this is my fourth, and he's ready to be weaned so I have plenty of milk."
"Oh good." John said with a slight blush. He went to hand the baby over but as he did Cassandra noticed Varian's eyes following the child intensely.
"May I hold him? Just for a minute."
John hesitated slightly, but then passed the child into Varian's waiting arms. Varian cradled the baby, holding him close to his face. Cassandra could hear him whispering to the child.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Varian, Quirin…" John started.
"Don't call him that." Varian said, he didn't raise his voice, but he somehow managed to sound angry even though he had spoken softly.
"I thought it was what the mother wanted?" John answered. "That's what Cassandra and Sophia said."
"It was to thank me, calling him that, but I don't deserve any of her thanks. I let her down."
"I do not know your father well. I always told myself that if I somehow managed to have a son I would name him after a great man. I think Quirin must be a great man, because it would take a great man to raise somebody like you."
Varian stared at him, puzzlement and shock showing on his face.
"I talked to Sophia, she told me what happened last night, she told me what you did to try and save them both. This baby, he would not be here right now if it weren't for your quick thinking, even the doctor has admitted that by the time he arrived they would have both been dead if you hadn't have acted as you did. You're a great man Varian, I am sorry that it has taken me so long to see that."
Cassandra watched as her father put his hand on Varian's shoulder.
"Son do not punish yourself anymore for this. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about."
Varian's eyes were watery as he handed the baby over to the wet nurse.
"I know you'll raise him right." He said to John and Frank.
Cassandra took hold of Varian's shoulder.
"Come on, you're exhausted. I had a guest room made up for you." She said as she led him out of the room.
"Take care of him Cass. "
"I will Dad."
"We didn't get our date." Varian muttered as they walked down the hallway together.
"Don't worry about that, we'll reorganise it for next week, or the week after. Let's just get you back to alright again."