Chapter 11

Broken pieces

TRIGGER WARNING: Please, if you are uncomfortable with, or are suffering anxiety, please skip the first scene. I've tried my best to tone it down and so far my beta and a friend are ok with it, but it might not be the case for everyone so please be aware.

Rosie could hear her own heartbeat in the silence of the night. Neither she nor Ginger said a word, both of them too startled to speak. Rosie had her arm looped around her friend's, whether it was her or Ginger who was shaking, she didn't know.

She couldn't stop thinking about the man. He couldn't be much older than her, and yet she couldn't shake the thought that he was on a lifeline. Rosie had never seen someone that injured. The image of the man, almost completely covered in his own blood, along with his pained groans had made a home inside her mind. Thoughts hurdled around her head, ways she might have helped. But what more could she have done?

Ginger knocked on the door, startling her. She'd managed to walk all the way back to Gale's home without even noticing . Rosie knew she should calm down for the sake of the situation, but the door opened before she could even try.

Luck wasn't on her side. She was faced by a pair of green, bright, eyes. She watched as they changed from confusion to fear.

"What happened?" Gust asked, his voice strained.

Rosie opened her mouth to answer but it was so dry she couldn't talk. She had the intention of being the one that explained the situation, but it was Ginger who started talking first. When Ginger finished, Rosie thought she saw Russo and Gale leaving the house.

"Are you ok?" Gust asked, his worry now clear in his voice.

"I am, but Rosie…" Ginger trailed off. Gust looked towards Rosie. She tried to speak but couldn't find the words.

"I'm fine," she said with the steadiest voice she could manage. Her brain didn't register entering the house, and she certainly didn't remember Gust holding her arms or Ginger releasing her.

"Darling... you're shaking," he said it slowly, as if he wanted to make sure she understood.

"I just, I…" she mumbled, and then breathed in, "I need to go home now," she decided.

"Absolutely not, you're staying here," he commanded.

"But your work…" she started, her eyes kept darting away from Gust, unable to focus on anything.

"My work be damned. There is no way I'm letting you be alone," he said, his eyes chasing hers.

Alone , she thought. That made her remember something.

"QQ…" Rosie made an attempt to turn back, but was met with resistance.

"Russo is already on his way to get him back," Gust insisted, and for the brief moment she could see his face, his eyebrows furrowed even more than before.

Every time she tried to focus on something she could feel her gaze drifting. Everything was too slow and too fast at the same time, and the hammering against her chest hadn't stopped since she'd ran to Paulie's.

"I need air," she blurted out, freeing herself from Gust's hold and clumsily opening the door.

She just made it through the door before her knees decided they couldn't hold her weight anymore. She fell forward, catching herself with her hands before she hit the cold, rough street . Rosie felt like she was dying. It didn't matter how much air she tried to breathe, it wasn't enough. She was gasping desperately. She didn't know how much time passed before she felt Gust looping her arms around his neck, pulling her close so her chin rested on his shoulder.

He didn't lift her up, he just embraced her on the floor, his hands making soothing circles on her back.

"You're ok, you're safe," he whispered in her ear. "Breathe with me," he said softly.

And she tried. She could hear him taking slow breaths near her ear, and Rosie tried to mimic his pace. It was agonizing. It felt even worse than before, but she continued anyway because Gust was clearly trying something, even if she didn't understand what.

After what felt like an eternity, Rosie started to be able to breathe properly, though she was still shaking a bit… she was exhausted.

"I think I'm ok now…" she muttered in a very low, raspy voice. Rosie let her head rest on Gust's, just noticing his loose wet hair. He wasn't wearing what she last saw him if she went by how his clothes felt under her grasp.

"You're still shaking a bit," he acknowledged.

"Yes, but I'm breathing now".

Gust didn't answer right away, he seemed to be considering something.

"I'll take you inside."

They were supposed to be sleeping, but they were staring at each other. Gust had suggested Rosie slept with Ginger, same as she had before. But Ginger insisted Rosie needed him. It had been a while since his sister had gone to sleep, QQ following behind her.

Now, they were tucked under a light blanket, the lights long since off, his window still open. Under any ordinary circumstances he would be freaking out just at the thought of having her in his bed, but right now he was just grateful to see her calm. He'd known something was off as soon as he'd opened the door earlier that night. He had remained calm in hopes that Rosie would stop freaking out, but it still had been hard watching her so disoriented, so scared, and gasping for air. Rosie had stopped shaking not long after Gale said the man was out of danger, but still looked uneasy.

He felt more at ease now that she was with him, and wondered if Ginger had made him change his mind for the sake of Rosie or his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.

"For what?" he asked, his voice as soft as hers.

"I'm always making you worry," Rosie said.

He couldn't accept her apologizing for things that were out of her control.

"Don't be," he answered honestly.

They laid in silence for a few moments. Rosie drew circles on Gust's free hand as he stroked her hair with the other.

"How did you know?" Rosie's voice was soft

He didn't have to ask to know what she meant.

"Because that's exactly what happened to me when I received the letter from my Pa. You looked as lost as I'd felt." And the truth was, he suspected the trigger had been the same for her. That well known fear of not being able to do something.

Rosie looked as if she was wondering if she should ask something or not, and Gust confirmed it when she, even softer than before, asked "How did you get out of it?"

"Albert," he simply answered. "He was with me when it all happened. We discussed where we were going to start our business that same morning. After that, he said we were moving to Portia… I still can't believe he was willing to do that". That one, he remembered, had been a terrible day.

"Albert is a great friend," she added.

"That, he is," Gust agreed. He couldn't be more grateful.

She smiled at him, but remained quiet, caressing his cheek.

"Thank you, Gust," she said wholeheartedly, but he didn't answer because she looked like she was mulling over saying something or not. "I love you," she whispered.

Gust froze. It was the first time he'd listened to those two words since they had started dating, it had caught him completely off guard.

"I..." he trailed off, a shaky breath escaped his lips.

I love you too, he thought, but for some reason, the words couldn't escape his mouth.

So he brought her close to his chest and kissed her forehead, in hopes she would understand how he felt, how precious she was to him. He kissed her nose, he kissed her cheek, and finally he softly kissed her lips with utter adoration. When their lips parted, he stared at her, almost desperately. She smiled before she buried her head in his neck and whispered:

"I know."

He was met with an intense light as soon as he opened his eyes… or rather, he was able to see an intense light with one eye a dim light with the other. When he tried to get away from it by turning to his other side, an intense pain made him curl over himself and groan.

"Easy there," a gentle man's voice said.

A man? Just where the hell was he? The last thing he could remember was being attacked in the middle of the desert.

Oh, so that explains the pain, he thought.

Still, it didn't help to explain where he was. He blinked several times to help his eye adjust to the light, but flinched when he felt the stranger's hand on his forehead.

"I'm sorry, this is going to be a bit uncomfortable," he said before gently raising his eyelid and briefly pointing at him with a light. It was uncomfortable, and now he had a bright blind spot wherever he shifted his gaze. "I'm glad Siwa brought you here as soon as he found you." the man continued, "We were afraid we'd lose you last night".

He blinked several times until he could actually see the owner of the voice. It was a young, dark haired man with gentle eyes and soft smile, a white coat rested on his shoulders. He patted the surface where he was resting, it finally clicked that he wasn't in the desert as his hands met soft cloth under his body. He must be in a clinic, as to where that clinic was, that was another story. He could feel he was naked under the thin gown, the blanket that covered him almost as thin.

And then he remembered something.

"Where…?" he bolted upright, a sharp pain ran through his body, leaving him breathless.

"Hey, it 's ok!" the doctor rushed to hold his back and lower him gently on the bed, while the room he was in spun under his blurry gaze. The sudden dizziness was too much to handle, and the feeling didn't stop even when his body was now resting in the bed again. He squeezed his eyes shut. "You shouldn't move this much, you lost a lot of blood. You'll be weak for some days until your body can recover."

He swallowed heavily, wondering if the room would stop moving if he opened his eyes again. He then felt something hard on his hands, that rested on top of his chest. Slowly, he dared to open his eyes.

"We didn't open it, if that's what you are worried about. Phylis just cleaned the exterior because it was soaked in blood."

He opened the lid of his wooden box with shaky fingers, and sighed as soon as he noticed all of his tools were, in fact, there. He closed the lid, bringing the box close to his chest and closed his eyes in relief.

"Thank you," he muttered with a weak voice.

"Do you remember what happened to you?" the doctor asked.

Did he? He knew he'd been attacked, that was the last thing he could recall. But as for the reasons why he was attacked in the first place, he couldn't get a grip on his memories. He remembered he'd held his wooden box as if his life depended on it, but that was all.

After a few moments of silence, he heard the man speak again. "It's ok if you don't," he reassured him. "Can you remember your name?"

It took him a few moments, but then he answered.

"Ezra."