I apologize in advance, I'm not proud with this chapter. Sigh.

Laxus buried himself in mountains of paperwork, trying to distract his mind from Lucy's outburst earlier. Outburst… he scoffed, she literally just broke it off with him and stormed off. Laxus sighed dejectedly, removing his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes, then massaged his temple. Was that a blunder? Was she said that just because of the situation? Did she really mean that? Millions of thoughts ran through his mind and none of them were even as close as comforting.

Laxus sighed again, putting his glasses back on. He didn't even have half the energy to throw a tantrum, he was just so… bummed out. What Lucy said—no, what Lucy stated, might as well be knocking air out of his lungs. Words just failed him at that time, though his heart kept the same rhythmic, it was strangely quiet and beat normally, but he could feel something was wrong: something odd and heavy. He didn't know how to describe the feeling, it was like his stomach was churning in a nasty way and he felt like throwing up.

He was a jerk for saying those things, was he? Laxus felt like regretting everything he said to her—no, not "what" he said but "how" he said it. Because for Laxus, families are the one thing that he treasures so much. So, he didn't feel like what he said was wrong. Granted, he should've been gentler with how he put it. He regretted to have pushed her like that. How could he be so thoughtless? But still, how could Lucy just up and gave it all up? It didn't sit well with him, how after all her effort, she just decided to give up. Aquarius was her family, for god sake! As much as he wanted to understand her reasons behind all that, he just couldn't make it sense. only she knew how terrible the feeling he was once felt.

With another sigh, Laxus absentmindedly flipping over the documents in his hands. Giving them stamps and occasionally signature on them. Gramps would lose it if he saw Laxus do this, but he didn't care one bit. His thoughts were too packed to even care. His foot was tapping on the wood floor anxiously, making a creaking sound on the already worn out wood floor.

Laxus couldn't shake off the icky feelings. Of course, he was so heartbroken because of what Lucy said and he refused to accept that as it was. However, there were this bitterness and frustration inside him, eating him away bits by bits. Feelings that he knew exactly where it came from. From the start, Laxus has rejected the thought every time it resurfaced, and it became a constant bother since their fight: that for Lucy, their relationship only serves as a mere distraction.

Yes, it was a bit harsh for him to think about that and it wasn't like he didn't trust her or haven't a complete faith in her. In any case, it was just a fleeting thought. Just a sense of doubt that was becoming stronger after their fight. He really didn't want to believe it as he still has complete faith in Lucy. But Laxus couldn't help but feel scared. What else could explain their fast development? True, there was a thing such as love at first sight that perhaps could make things progressed fast. However, theirs weren't that of love at first sight. Heck, he could still remember how distant Lucy was at that time. Well, not that he objected or anything. Laxus was more than happy with their fast development. Ever since Lucy showed her vulnerability and confided in him, pouring out all of her troubles, Laxus have had the urges to protect her no matter what.

He saw her as this little whimpering puppy who needed love and affection—maybe calling her a puppy was pushing it, but that's not the point. More than that, he saw loneliness—no, he felt the loneliness inside her, devouring her light and her warmth little by little. He saw the eyes of someone who was desperate and close to give it all away. No longer did he see the shine that once shone in her eyes that full of determination. Blank, lifeless stare was all he could see that he felt a tug in his heart. Since then, she was all he could think about. He just wanted to be beside her, he wanted to bring her smile back and most importantly, the shine in her eyes. It wasn't a matter of whether he like her or that she made him interested. It's just that he really wanted to be by her side. Although, falling for her was inevitable. How could he not, when she suddenly let her guard down the morning after she told him the truth. And that smile, oh that fleeting yet genuine smile that she showed him. Albeit, it was because of his clumsiness, if it was going to make her smile at him, then he'll be clumsy any day and any time. Though he came up with it on the spot, he was glad that he asked her for a date.

A knock on his desk pulled Laxus from his string of thoughts. He looked up inquisitively to the person in front of him. His frowns vanished, it was Ever. Ever was staring at him with worries etched on her face. She looked like she wanted to say something but paused and bit the inside of her mouth instead. Laxus rested his chin on his palm, his elbow perched on the desk, supporting the weight. He raised an eyebrow, implying a question.

Ever waved the documents on her hand, 'Mira asked me to give you this. Here.' She said placing the documents on the desk.

'Thanks,' He said, but he still gave her a pointed look.

It was clear that Ever was hesitating. Her face looked like they were wrestling on whether to ask Laxus or not. He could tell which side won when Ever groaned to herself and exhaled loudly.

'Do I have to ask, or do you want to just tell me what's bothering you?' she crossed her arms on her chest, her tone was curt, but she had a look of worry on her face.

Laxus shrugged, 'Man, I love seeing you look troubled though.' He joked which earned smack to his biceps.

'Fine, fine.' Laxus sighed and began to tell her what's going on, starting with his fight with Lucy. It was awkward at first, because despite thinking about it a lot, Laxus has never be frank with anyone about his feelings. Especially romantic feelings.

Laxus wasn't one to confide in others when he had problems, he usually just zapped that problems away. So, telling Ever all of his worries were a bit embarrassing yet liberating, much to his surprise.

Ever's attention didn't waver one bit while he told her everything. She listened to him attentively, even when he got embarrassed on a certain point and had to cough to mask his cracking voice, Ever didn't laugh and still listened to him. He's grateful for that. Once Laxus finished his story, especially the one about him afraid of becoming just a distraction for Lucy, Ever went quiet. She seemed to be pondering the right words and answers to reply.

'Um…' she started, rapping her fingers on his desk repeatedly, 'Let me ask you one thing, if, by chance, Lucy did or still sees you as a distraction, what would you do?'

Laxus was taken aback by the question, he frowned, 'Well, of course I'd be sad… and disappointed,'

Ever rolled her eyes, 'Not how you feel, Laxus. I'm asking what would you do, like, would you break up with her… or—' she was cut short by Laxus' grunting.

'God, no. Of course not! I can't break up with her, I won't.' he asserted firmly, his knuckles were turning white from frustration. Break up? That word never even came up once in his thought. And it wouldn't. Ever. Breaking up is the last thing he would ever do.

'Then, what would you do?' she tried again.

Laxus groaned, 'I don't know,' he whined and Ever looked at him disapprovingly.

'Maybe… if she really just sees me as a distraction, then I'll make her love me for real. I'll try again and again until she fell as hard as I fell for her.' He said firmly.

'Then, there's no problem, no?' Ever tilted her head. Laxus has an inkling that she already figured everything out for him, but was holding back, purposely letting him be the one to figure things out. He hated it.

Laxus narrowed his eyes, but before he could speak, Ever beat him into it.

'Laxus, everybody has problems they had to deal with. Some could manage it just fine, like you who most of the time just zapped it or punched it away. But to some, those problems became the center of their lives instead. The reason varies from the lack of power to fight it to not having someone beside them. Let's view it from Lucy's point of view. Knowing her, she didn't have anyone by her side, or rather she chose not to have anyone by her side. Loneliness destroys people, Laxus. Even the purest person of all. So, imagine, amidst all that darkness, she suddenly found a light approaching her, nurturing her, keeping her warm. I'd say it's damn normal for her to use it as a "distraction". Wouldn't you stayed close to fire in the midst of a snowstorm—no, shut up. Before you say "I'm a dragon slayer, I'm always warm", I know, but that's not the point.' Ever barked, narrowing her eyes when she saw Laxus instantly closed his mouth.

Ever took a deep breath before continuing, 'My point is, it's a given if she saw you as a distraction at first, whether she does it consciously or not. And is it not the point that she's happy anyway because of it? What started as a distraction could easily become love. I'm pretty sure you had this all figure it out anyway, so here's the real question: what's really bothering you, Laxus?'

Damn it, Ever.

'I…' he glanced at Ever who was looking at him expectantly and encouragingly, as if she's been waiting for the words to come out of his mouth.

'I just—you're right, it's not about the distraction. I'm more scared that when it's established that I'm not a distraction, but her feelings for me aren't genuine. Fuck, I'm the worst. Can't believe I have that little faith on her.' He admitted dejectedly.

Laxus ran his hand across his hair, messing it. 'What if it's true, Ever?' He whispered. He didn't even want to think about that possibility. It scared him so much.

Ever didn't say anything at first. She just smiled. She put her hand on his shoulder, patted it, 'Now that's not something you should ask me, should you?'

Laxus inhaled sharply and with that, Ever walked out of his office, leaving him deep in thought once again.

Laxus was quiet for a while, taking it all in. Then, he glanced at his drawer. He reached out his hand towards the handle of the left drawer and pulled it gently. Swiping and checking every paper he came across carefully, Laxus mind hasn't registered to what was he looking for. However his hands stopped moving, he sucked in a breath.

Laxus hand was hovering over a rugged parchment. The parchment was worn and almost torn with several rips along the edges. It was officially registered under the name of a foreign guild, but Laxus had worked—bribing and a little bit of threatening—hard on getting the rights to the mission. He once again skimmed the yellowing parchment, pondering over the location written there. Well, he was familiar with the location. It wasn't very far, just a couple of train stations from Magnolia.

Another problem he had to deal with. He wondered as to what should he do with it. Seeing Lucy's reaction, he wasn't sure whether she would do it ever at all. Maybe it was too painful for her. Maybe he was a dick for pushing her to this. Then one thing is certain. He would be the one going there.

XXX

Lucy ran with all her might to the guild, panting heavily. She was balancing between her running pace and holding her weight backwards as the road from the dormitory was quite a steep slope and she didn't want to mess a step and rolled over to the guild.

Halfway through and her clothes were rather damp by the sweat. It trickled down her temple and her neck, but she didn't bother to wipe it. Her mind was entirely elsewhere.

When she got to the guild entrance, Lucy stopped. Hands perched on her knees, panting. She gestured at the door, ready to open it, but the door opened from the other side. A flash of pink hair passed through her vision and she whipped her head towards the person.

'Natsu,' Lucy called out, the guy in question turned his head towards the sound, he glanced downward.

Natsu raised an eyebrow, surprised. 'Luce? What happened? Why are you sweating so much?'

Still panting, Lucy just waved her hand, dismissing his question as she was too out of breath to explain everything.

'Is Laxus there?' she asked.

Natsu pursed his lips, upset that he didn't get his answer, but shook his head.

'You missed him just now, he left.'

Lucy tilted her head, confused. 'Huh?'

'Huh? He didn't tell you?' Natsu scrunched his eyebrows. 'Didn't know much but I heard he's goin' out of town for a while.' He finished, but soon regretted answering that when he saw the look on Lucy's face.

'What are you talking about, Natsu? Out of town? Why?' Lucy managed to croak out.

It hasn't even been a day and he already gone? Lucy just couldn't believe it.

Natsu hesitated, but he answered anyway, 'Um… I don't know, Luce. I just heard about it. Try asking Mira. He was talking to her earlier.' He cringed to himself for throwing the responsibility to Mira. He was about to apologize but then he realized Lucy was already gone. Natsu only bit his lips anxiously and prayed that Lucy's okay.

Meanwhile, Lucy was already heading towards the bar, where Mira was. When she got there, Lucy leaned towards the counter.

'Mira?' She called out.

Soon after Lucy called Mira, Mira's head popped out from the door to the kitchen.

'You called?' she raised an eyebrow.

Lucy bit her lips nervously before asking, 'Uh, Natsu said Laxus went out of town? Do you know anything about that?' her tone was desperate. Lucy's mind was blank, for some reason she couldn't think of anything. Not even the fact that Laxus was gone all of the sudden. It failed to register in her mind.

Mira walked over, now directly in front of Lucy. The she-devil was confused at first, but her expression soon turned into worry. Despite the desperation in her voice, Lucy's face was blank. There weren't any urges to cry or be angry. Lucy just wanted to ask why. Why did he leave? Was it a mission? But she saw Bicks and Freed lounging from her peripheral vision. Most importantly, why didn't he tell her?

Was it because she broke up with him? Because she told him not to see her? Was he seriously giving up on her?

Just then, something clicked inside of Lucy.

Oh… is this how it feels when someone gave up on you?

A single tear escaped without warning, surprising the she-devil in front of her. Mira gasped and swiftly jumped over the counter, frantically asking Lucy whether she's okay.

Lucy blinked, her hand reached out to her cheek. It was wet. Why was it wet? Did she cry? Lucy automatically rubbed away the tears, meanwhile, Mira was still panicking, juggling between asking if she's okay, trying to give her water, and occasionally making funny faces.

'I'm okay, a dust got in to my eye, I didn't realize. Relax, Mira.' Lucy assured, putting her hand on the she-devil's shoulder.

Mira looked relieved somehow, but her expression was still that of worry. However, before Mira could ask, Lucy changed the subject.

'Um, so, where did he go? Why?' Lucy prodded again.

'Oh,' Mira hesitated, but decided to answer anyway. 'I remember he said he was going to Clover Town for a couple of days, I don't really know the details, I'm sorry Lucy. But he did mention he have business with some townspeople there. I don't know why, but he just told me to write his absence as on the mission. It was like he didn't want to be found or somethi—' Mira saw the look on Lucy's face and stopped her sentences.

Lucy looked heartbroken.

'I'm sorry, Lucy. I didn't realize… is everything okay with him?' Mira asked carefully.

Holding back her tears, Lucy quickly masked her expression.

'It's fine! Just a little fight. Ha ha.' Lucy laughed humorlessly. She felt like crying. She really, really wanted to cry. Everything felt bitter. She didn't understand. Why?

'Mira. Could you write my absence, too?' Lucy steeled her determination, despite a part of her just wanted to go back to her apartment and locked herself in.

But, she was too confused. Too sad. Too angry. Nothing made sense. They literally just fought and, what, he took off? Just like that? Lucy knew she was partly at fault, heck, most of it was her fault. However, what made her so bitter was the fact that Laxus just took off like that. How little faith he put in her, he didn't even wait a day.

'Lucy?' Mira called out, making Lucy focused her attention to the woman in front of her. 'You were spacing out, you sure you're okay? Do I need to drag him back and beat the crap out of him?' Mira asked concernly, although Lucy could faintly hear her tone laced with malice.

'Relax, I'll be okay. Now, could you write my absence?'

Mira sighed dejectedly, disappointed that she didn't get to beat the shit out of the blonde dragon slayer. She nodded.

'Yeah, but may I ask where you're going?' she asked again.

'I'm going after him,'

She paused and with a complacent smile she stated, 'And I'm going to beat the shit out of him.'

I feel like crying, got a lot in my mind trying to figure out this chapter. Damn, it was so hard to describe the depth of Laxus' feelings. AND Lucy's reaction. And her resolve. So many things are strange. Goddamn, I feel like an idiot. There'll be a bit of action next chapter, let's hope I don't fuck it up T_T