Of all the things that were unfair! This was the most ridiculous, not to mention the most frustrating! He didn't even care!

Uuuuggghhhh... Deidara groaned, his eye twitching in exasperation as he looked around the wall. Not there either. Good frickin' grief!

The parting threat -well...more like promise- repeated itself in his ears as if it were being said directly to him again. His nerves were uneasy as he could only take it seriously, considering who it came from. And considering the sheer nature of the threat itself, which above everything made him shudder.

As he rounded the corner, Deidara mumbled under his breath in an anxious, almost nervous tone. "Why did that dumb plant have to put me in charge?" Why couldn't it have been Konan or that stupid partner of his? He didn't lose to the Uchiha and essentially get forced into the organization to be a babysitter! He wasn't even good at it! Really the only one with any experience by this point was Zetsu, but he left ten minutes ago.

And Deidara already lost the kid.

It's not like it was his fault! She was the one being a brat! Seriously, hardly thirty seconds after Zetsu walked out she gave him the death glare and scrunched her nose at him, then yelled, "Girly meaner!" and took off so fast he didn't have a chance to see where she was going. He highly doubted she knew her way around but it was taking forever to find her. But he needed to soon.

From what anyone could tell, the plant nin was becoming more attached to the girl, on such a level he was actively placing himself between her and other members of the organization whether or not there was even any danger of a spat. At least then he had been passive aggressive about it. But apparently he graduated to freakish death threats over the course of the most recent 24 hours, and Deidara wasn't about to let himself be –quite literally- skinned alive, among other things.

Really he didn't give two rips about the brat in question, especially after her running joke about him looking like a woman and especially after Tobi encouraged it. Stupid, childish, loud-mouthed numbskull.

The arsonist continued to search through the main part of the base, looking under, over, and behind everything with no sign of the toddler save for the pages of drawings scattered across the table top in the living room. He hated to admit it, but he had a bit of respect for her effort to draw things. But, drawings being drawings, they were more toward Sasori's style, so it wasn't true art.

Speaking of which, where was he? It had been a few weeks since he left for the River Nation and reported to the co-leader, so he should have returned by now or at least been sending tabs about his whereabouts. Perhaps he stumbled across something of interest. That was the only reason Deidara could think of because the puppet master was too cunning to let himself be caught or killed easily, and he was far too impatient to let himself be late on purpose. I wonder what he ran into? If he was any sort of stubborn about sticking to his –and everyone's- original orders from the leader, maybe the trail of a tailed beast or jinchuuriki. Otherwise, another lead concerning the kid. Too bad he wasn't around when Kisame and Itachi got back. He likely could have helped identify some of the poisons in that weird file. Deidara knew of a few his older partner used, but there were others that had never been described to him.

"Hm?" As Deidara started to walk passed the hall to the personal rooms, he heard what sounded like the shuffling of items being moved around. He paused, glancing toward the nearest doors, leading to his and Sasori's rooms, which were halfway down the hall and lit by one of the wall lamps. It was then he realized with a burst of alarm that his door was cracked open when it wasn't earlier. And with the sound of something falling to the floor, he knew the kid was in there. Right along with all his weapons, clay, and C4 explosives.

Crap!

Using the teleportation jutsu, he was in the room just in time to see the toddler jumping back with a startled squeak at a sudden –yet clearly delayed- flash of sparks and smoke from an experimental clay bomb that rolled off a table near the opposite wall. It was just one marble-sized ball of several and wasn't really dangerous. But the clay fox she had in her hands was an entirely different story! Like the marbles, it was only in the trial stage and didn't require a command to detonate, just the right amount of impact. If she accidentally dropped it, it could scorch half the room! And he would certainly pay for it later...

Deidara was borderline hysterical in his animated panic. "What are you doing in here?!" He took a step toward her to take the fox, but she wrinkled her nose in a scowl and backed away. "Give that back, hm!"

"No!"

"It's mine!"

"NO!" As she backed up again she nearly tripped over a box of scrolls.

Her grip on the fox faltered, making Deidara's nerves to flinch. "Good god, don't drop it, yeah! It's dangerous!" That seemed to get through her head. The second she heard 'dangerous' her eyes widened and she froze, looking at the clay fox as if she was suddenly unsure of whether to put it down or hold it tighter. Deidara groaned in annoyance. "Come on, kid, hand it over!"

She shot him another scathing look. "My name's Ha-na-ki!" she snipped as she sounded out the name Zetsu called her by.

"Whatever!" Dammit, why won't she just give it back? He knew she pretty much only obeyed Zetsu, but she couldn't really be this terribly behaved when he wasn't around right? For a moment his memory drifted and he recalled the incident when he and Hidan were poking fun at the shark nin over a comment the kid made. Did she really still hate him for that? He knew she did in the first place because Tobi was oh-so-noble to notify him of the fact. Little traitor.

Hanaki had returned her off-white gaze to the fox. Her stare was filled with curiosity, fascination, and a new sense of caution as she turned it one direction and then another. A moment passed and then without looking at him she asked, "It's yours?"

"That's what I said, hm!" he responded impatiently.

"Did you made it?"

Geez, why couldn't she have better grammar? Sure she was only four, but still. "Yes, I made it, hm," he said with a roll of his eyes. Then he noticed her pause, as if processing something. "What?"

When she glanced at Deidara this time, there was a bit less disdain. "Pretty." Wait, what? He felt a bout of confusion that let his irritation fall to a dull roar. Was that supposed to be a praise about the fox? It was sort of a new concept to him since even his partner hardly ever mentioned his art in a positive manner. As he was wondering about this the kid stepped toward him, holding out the fox for him to take. "Show... Please?" she asked.

He quickly took the model explosive from her. Show what? he thought as he looked for a better place to put the fox so she couldn't get a hold of it again. It would probably be a good idea to rearrange everything, actually. Even if he technically could kick her out now, she would likely find a way to sneak in here anyway.

"Please?" she asked again.

As he set the fox on a high shelf he turned his attention toward her, his visible eye twitching in annoyance. "Kid, I have no idea what you're trying to talk about!"

"Um..." It seemed she was having a difficult time putting her thoughts together. She pointed at the fox again. "How...how's it made? Please?" Now he basically understood what she meant. She was asking if he could show her how to make a figurine too.

"Why should I show you how to make art like mine? No way!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

"NO!"

She furrowed her brows in a crying pout. "Pretty, pretty pleeaaase?"

Hell damn! When and where did she learn to beg like a wounded puppy? At this rate, this "conversation" could circle around forever. "Alright, alright! Fine, hm!" Anything to get her to shut up and keep her out of trouble as well as keep his head.

He thought of what she said about the fox. Pretty, huh? Maybe this whole situation could be worse. He could be babysitting Tobi instead...

"What on earth are you doing?"

The accusing disbelief in his tone earned him a borderline-embarrassed look of aggravation from Deidara, who sat on the floor with the little girl. She and Tobi didn't even glance sideways at him, as their attention was on the small clay sculptures in their hands. "Mind your own business, hm," he groaned.

"When a brat is distracting everyone from their job, I believe that is my business."

"Okay then, Kakuzu, you babysit like your life depends on it, and I'll go bounty hunting!"

He glared back in annoyance. "You wouldn't survive."

"Neither would you! So since we've reached an impasse, stay out of it, yeah?" He immediately turned back to the wide slab of wood setting on the floor between himself and the others. A mound of clay sat in one corner while the rest of the board was used to place several deformed figurines. It was almost impossible to tell the difference between the ones the masked nin must have made as opposed to the ones the girl did. From the looks of what they were making now, hers were slightly better. "HEY!" Deidara smacked Tobi's hand away when he attempted to reach for the board. "Quit wasting the clay, idiot; you have more than enough as it is! I didn't even set this out for you anyway, hm!"

"But Tobi wants to try too," he whined.

"I don't care!"

As if the argument wasn't even going on, the toddler's eyes lit up and she suddenly forced her figurine into Deidara's line of vision. "Lookit! I made a bear!" she exclaimed.

Deidara paused, his attention immediately diverting to the small figure in her hands. It looked like a smaller version of her teddy bear, and unlike the other figurines all the cracks and lumps were smoothed out of the clay. In that respect she seemed to be learning rather quickly. "Huh. That's actually pretty good..." After a paused moment he scoffed. "You know, for a kid, yeah."

She smiled wide, then turned around as far as she could without falling over to look directly at Kakuzu. Which, he wasn't expecting. "See?"

So she noticed I was here after all, he thought. Having spoken twice without so much as a twitch from her, he figured she was at the very least ignoring him. But he saw no indication of that in her expression.

Even so. "Hmph." He just grunted in acknowledgement before continuing toward the office, just before Hidan came in.

"You didn't have to leave me behind, Kakuzu!" he complained, seconds before a brief pause. Kakuzu assumed he shot the toddler a death glare.

"Walking faster by five seconds is not "leaving you behind," he said. "Your preaching was getting on my nerves."

"Dammit, I was just trying to make a point! Were you even listening? You weren't were you?" he complained.

He didn't bother to answer. Hidan should have known full well he stopped paying attention to all his griping once the toddler was mentioned. Aside from the fact she led to the evidence of a potential enemy, she was worth nothing. There was no real point in her being here so he had done nearly everything possible to avoid having anything to do with her. Including leaving the base without permission. Of course, Hidan would sneak out with him, which wasn't surprising since he had no respect for the organization's hierarchy to begin with. Only two reasons kept him from being sent back, the first being he could be of some help if and when it was necessary, and second being he was immortal and it was nearly impossible to force him.

One of his many irritating traits.

Right now he just needed to notify Konan on today's bounty run. It usually didn't matter too much, but there was something unusual about the two rogues he and his partner took down. And thanks to his bounty officer Zangei, Kakuzu was able to track down more of their information, as most of it wasn't listed in the bingo book. From what he discovered, and after the files Hoshigaki and Uchiha retrieved, he knew it was information worth knowing.

The Jashinist groaned loudly in annoyance as he followed his partner. "Kakuzu! You're still not listening!" Once again he was met with silence. Stupid, old miser! Couldn't he just pay attention for once? What he was trying to say was important!

Well, at least he thought it was.

Ever since that freakish, glorified cactus brought that kid in she's been nothing but trouble. Between the two of them, he was likely the worst! 'Stay away from her, don't so much as think of bringing your rituals anywhere near her, don't do this, don't do that-' it was so damn frustrating! If it weren't for that little crybaby none of this would be an issue! He could get on with his life and not worry about pissing off the wrong person!

Why was he even concerned about that anyway? It wasn't like Zetsu or the co-leader could do anything he hadn't already done to his victims and himself, and they certainly couldn't kill him. Hidan had practically already felt all there was to feel concerning pain, which his ritualistic curse guaranteed. It was ridiculous to think anyone could do something even mildly detrimental to his immortality.

Though, there was one thing he couldn't figure out. No matter how many times he prayed so he could kill the little brat, he didn't get permission. Not even once! Actually, he didn't get an answer at all! He couldn't tell if he was being denied or ignored, not much different than Kakuzu right now. What made her so goddamn special that Jashin wouldn't even answer him? At first he thought it was because he had disobeyed in some way, but that couldn't have been right. He would have known and immediately gone to make up for it. Everything about this was too damn weird, and all the silence was beginning to crack at his final nerve! What he wouldn't do to go back out again and find someone Jashin would let him slaughter.

But being one of the newer members he was hardly allowed to leave the hideout by himself without repercussions. So it was easier to come and go when his partner did, just to have an excuse. The downside, of course, led to being ridiculed by that blasphemous fool for one thing or another. It was hardly a win-lose situation.

Hidan stood behind Kakuzu as they entered the office and closed the door. Last time, Konan made it perfectly clear to keep the door closed whenever they discussed something concerning the kid. Why that was, he had no idea.

The co-leader was still sorting through the files from before, standing behind the desk and organizing them in her own way. Without speaking, Kakuzu stepped over to her desk and set the briefcase directly in front of her. She paused. "What is this?" she asked.

"The bounty from two rogues we caught snooping around," he said.

That in itself evidently caught her attention. Hidan was expecting her to question why they were outside the base to begin with, but she didn't exactly. "And? Explain yourself."

Kakuzu opened the briefcase to retrieve the files he had. "They were no ordinary rogues," he said as he handed her the files. Photos of the ninja were on the first page of each file, along with their basic information. But that was almost unimportant compared to the rest of the files. "According to these, they weren't exactly rogues at all."

"Not to mention they were a bitch to fight," Hidan added, remembering the encounter. The ninja he fought was persistent and evasive and, in a strange turn of events, more suited to close combat. So close it was less than arms' length, and he was lightning quick which made him extremely difficult to evade or attack. If Kakuzu hadn't used his Earth Grudge jutsu to catch their opponents off guard, they could have lost. Something about the whole encounter told him retreat wasn't an option.

Konan was quiet for a moment while she looked through the papers, then her expression contorted into confusion. "I've never even heard of this before. 'An underground nation?'"

"It might not have anything to do with that little brat, but it seems worth looking into at least," Hidan said after hearing a loud giggle on the other side of the office door. What the hell is she doing now? he thought in irritation, paying less attention to what Konan had to say. However, he caught the last part.

"-when Zetsu returns we'll have a discussion about this. You two go to the River Nation and search for Sasori. His report is long overdue. And we may have just found out why."

Hidan's eyes shifted from her to the door as the noise continued, this time with Deidara's somewhat panicked whispering. But it didn't distract him from responding. "It's about f#$%ing time we did something that's actually important," he griped.

"Just get to it," she ordered sharply. Then she turned her back to them as she continued to look over the papers with a puzzled look.

Kakuzu had already started toward the door. "You heard her, Hidan. Let's go."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." The Jashinist huffed as he turned to leave with his partner.

To their confusion as they left, the short table was moved in front of the office door and the living room was silent. Deidara, the girl, and Tobi were nowhere to be seen. From Tobi and Deidara's chakra signatures, they were somewhere in the next hallway. Just what kind of bullsh*t game were they playing?

The hell? Hidan eyed the table for a second, noticing two clay figurines he hadn't seen earlier when he came in. One of them looked something like Kakuzu's Nature masks, and the other looked a bit like his scythe, including all three blades.

Now it was obvious the kid had something to do with this. Talk about stupid. But out of curiosity, he picked up the scythe figure to inspect. He was surprised to find the Jashin symbol scratched into the center blade. Huh. Then he picked up the mask, noticing it mostly resembled his partner's Wind mask even without the color. He wondered how she could have possibly known about that, but didn't come up with an answer. It was interesting really. "Look at this, Kakuzu. The brat was actually kind of
accurate-"

"Hidan!"

The interruption earned him a frustrated glare. "What now?"

"Just move the table, and let's get going already."

He groaned under his breath, but didn't argue.