In this fourteenth game review of the story, Athena Cykes finds out what was bad in the third entry in the Double Dragon video game series called Dougle Dragon III: The Sacred Stones for the NES.

Athena Cykes' Game Review of Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones

"I know what you're thinking...", began Athena Cykes as she had started the game Double Dragon III on the NES already, "'How dare you pick on Double Dragon?' Well, I'm not. Double Dragon, just for the record, it's awesome, and so does its sequel Double Dragon II: The Revenge... But Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones is just a fucking waste.", as she then skips the title screen and started the game, "First of all, those talking parts really slow the game down. I mean, why not just shut the fuck up and let me fight? Now the big problem I have with this game, is just that it's too damn hard. All you get is one life. ONE life. If you die once, you start all over again. Now I can get through the first two Double Dragons without dying a single time, until maybe the last levels...but this one, I can't even get through the first level. Everybody gangs up on you and they just drain your energy. And yes, even your energy bar goes down faster than in the previous games. I guess they were trying to make this one realistic. Like, if in real life, if you went out onto the streets to fight this many people at the same time, you'd get your ass handed to you. And when ya die once, that's it. You're brown bread. You're not coming back. You can't fuck around with this game."

She continues playing the game after a few tries that resulted in a couple game overs after trying to defeat the enemies in the first level.

The orange-haired attorney warned, "Never, EVER go in between anybody. Try to keep your enemies on one side...and keep using that spin kick. When they're all over you, it's your only attack worth using. But sometimes, the fucking kick won't work. Yes, I swear it's true. I know how to do the spin kick; I can get it to work most any given time. But when I'm desperately trying to get my enemies off me, it just doesn't happen. I mean, what the fucking shit is that about? Fuck this game...", the girl also including despite not giving up just yet, "Your only chance to see beyond the first level is to either be a Double Dragon God, or to use two players. But whatever you do, don't pick Game B, because that's where you can hit each other. And that makes it pointless if you wanna get far.", before pointing out about the game's story mode, "Now just like the 1-player game, it starts off with the story sequence. But this time, it shows both Double Dragons, Billy and Jimmy Lee."

That was when Athena noticed something in the game's cutscene with Billy's name incorrect and changed to 'Bimmy'.

"Oh wait... Bimmy and Jimmy? How'd they make a mistake like this?! Bimmy isn't even a real name! How did this happen?! They didn't even proofread this shitty game before they released it?! Bimmy and Jimmy?! I'm sorry, I just can't get over that. Bimmy and Jimmy... There's a typo in a Nintendo game. Let alone a fucking Double Dragon game, and it's the first screen. It even sounds like a fucking co-operative game!", ranted the female lawyer, when seeing the strangest typo in the game.

Nevertheless, she continued onto the next stage with the two-player option enabled.

Athena Cykes then described, "Well anyway, using two players is much easier, but it's still a hard game. There's so many enemies on the screen, and sometimes it just gets ridiculous. And all the characters start to blink, making it hard to see what you're doing. And obviously, this is an old video game flaw, and it's common when there's so much shit on the screen... So even though you never get another life, the game designers at least had the courtesy to refill your energy after you beat a level. And along the way, you meet other characters that you can play as. So when you die, you can still use this other character. So it's kinda like finally having another life, except that...he sucks. This character, who is like a man in a business suit, does belly flops in combat for instance? He's completely useless. He's so slow. I have no chance against this ninja boss."

As her review concluded, she tries to defeat the boss but ends up with a game over after failing to defeat him.

"Fuck. What a piece of fucking goddamn shit.", the female attorney swore in annoyance as she quits the game and turns the NES console off, thus ending her review of Double Dragon III.

End of Athena Cykes' Game Review of Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones

Up Next: Athena Cykes' Game Review of Friday the 13th (NES)