A/N: SURPRISE.

Sorry if this seem short, but disaster struck when my old computer kicked the bucket. Not only did I lose the text file I had written for this -8,592 words there!- but I lost the one for Die Another Day AND Untraveled Road as well. Meaning I have to start over on all three.

Well, that's a spirit breaker. T_T

I had a big climactic reveal planned for all three and now...they're gone...

To top it off, I fell off my roof while fixing some damage. Nothing broken, just terrible pain.

Still, I managed to salvage this much, so I felt an update was owed.

"I'm...alive?

~?

A Shot In The Dark (Prelude)

Something stirred.

For thousands of years it had laid dormant beneath the earth, sleeping through cycle after cycle. It had no reason to rise. No reason to stir. Life went on without it, as all all things did. Now something stirred it from its silent slumber. Someone called to it. No. Not it. Her. She had a name. What was it? She couldn't remember. But she recalled her purpose. Sleep. Slumber. Wait until she was called. Stasis unending, until the promised time. That had been their promise.

Now something -someone!- was calling her.

Bright eyes snapped open in the dark. Fingers stiff with sleep began to move, twitching against the confined space in which they found themselves. A low, irritated growl threaded through the damp air. This would not do, no, no, no. It wouldn't do at all. She couldn't move, could barely even breathe, yet with each passing second her strength returned.

I think, therefore I am. I remember.

A fist shot out, slamming against the lid of the coffin.

Once.

Twice, now.

Finally, thrice.

"Tch. Damn thing. How hard do I have to hit you?!"

Metal bent and warped, but held on. Her lips pursed in irritation.

Upon the fifth blow, the lid broke the lid and sent dirt pouring down. She was ready for it. Taking a great deep breath to fill her lungs with air, she lashed out. Chakra enhanced muscles powered through the soil, then the bedrock, and finally through another, harder substance she didn't recognize. Irrelevant. It was in the way, and that breath she'd taken could only last so long. So she powered through. Just as always.

Undaunted, she clawed their way up and through. Like a shot in the dark, so too did she climb.

And then, quite suddenly, daylight.

It hit without warning; her fist broke through the street and the light that followed was so bright that she nearly lost he grip. She squinted against it and pulled herself through gasping. Her arms, still for so long, nearly betrayed her. She forced chakra through them and found her footing.

Noise rose around her. Voices she didn't recognize.

Hazel eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Damnit. Just shaddap, will ya? I can't understand any of you!"

A blaring horn caught her attention. Something red and blurry hurtled toward her. She didn't deign to dodge. Why should she?

She had the right of way, after all. No evasion needed. She set her jaw, planted her feet and raised her hand. Chakra did the rest of the work for her.

Sure enough, the car hit her open palm with a mighty crunch. Metal buckled at breakneck speed; its casing crumbled and crashed to the ground in a smoldering heap. Behind the wheel, its driver balked back at her with wide eyes. Lucky. They weren't harmed in the least. Her reflection -even now gazing back at her from the shattered windshield- told another story entirely.

"Well, shit." She swore. "I look awful."

Hazel eyes famed by dirty hair squinted against the sun.

"Honestly," she growled. "Where the hell am I and what did Naruto do this time...?"

Sirens wailed in the distance. The woman sighed, bosom heaving in irritation. It promised to be long night.

A/N: It ain't who you think it is.

I mean really, I gave a huge honking hint here. I wish I could have made this longer; we'll be back with Naruto next chapter and that favor he owed the Illusive Man.

As ever, reviews are the wind beneath my wings, but I'll understand if folk's don't this time around.

So in the Immortal Word of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

And have a preview!

(Preview)

"Also! May or may not have shot Udina."

"Addendum: the human may be dead. We did not check."

"WHY?!"

"Because he was a prick."

R&R~!