Memories of You

Ch. 14

"I'm home!" Itsuki Motomiya calls as he enters his warm and cozy home finally shielded from the relentless pouring rain outside. "Afternoon, Daddy," Jun greets happily as she bounds into the living room while her father is taking off his shoes and jacket. "Hey, sweetie. Is your brother back yet?"

"Nope. He should be back soon, though, I think."

"Oh, okay," he acknowledges. It seems they are the only two in the house at the moment, judging by how the silence is quick to take hold. "Your mother?" He questions as he shuffles to the kitchen to make a snack. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich to be exact. Jun shanked her head. It truly was a classic that couldn't be championed, no matter the age. "Sweetie, would you like a sandwich, too?" He asks. After greeting her father, Jun retreated into the den that was her room, leaving her dad in the comforting silence that was the inner machinations of his mind.

"What kind of sandwich, dad?"

"Classic PB&J."

"Uh… sure. I'd make two. Davis is probably gonna be hungry when he—" but Jun's words became instantly drowned out by a booming knock at the door. "I wonder who that could be?" Itsuki murmurs. He slaps the jelly covered bread on top of the nutty peanut covered bottom before heading to the door. "Coming!" He calls as another knock resounds through the medium-sized apartment. He shuffles to the door unlatching locks and in response, the hinges let out a hardy squeak as he pulls open the door.

"Hello, officers?" Itsuki says with an air of skepticism and concern. The two officers' sudden appearance was definitely enough to throw what felt like the world off its axis. What could the two officers want? Had he done something? Had his kids done something? His wife? Those were the first basic thoughts that would come to anyone's mind, he figured.

"H-Hello, sir…" The taller of the cops greeted. From what Itsuki could gather, from face value, at least, It was clear the one that had bothered to introduce himself had two to three years on his belt as he seemed to carry himself with an air of understanding, yet hardness that came with doing the job and abiding by the law. The officer next to them, however, was a rookie. They pretty much couldn't sit still. From the slight fidgets of any limb they thought wasn't noticeable to the bouncing their feet. This was their first house call.

"How can I help you, officers? Have I caused a disturbance somewhere?" Itsuki says jokingly, hoping will ease the tension that both rookie and senior office seemed to be practically radiating off of them. It was making him uncomfortable if he was being honest. Though having two cops at your door isn't supposed to be a comfortable experience, is it?

"Heh," the senior office slightly chuckled, picking up on the subtle joke made, "N-Not quite, sir. You're Itsuki Motomiya, of the Motomiya residents, correct?"

"Yes?"

"Well, sir, I'm not sure how to—"

As if time wanted to keep him in suspense, Jun made her presence known. At first, she was originally just going to continue to chill in her room finishing up her homework thinking just as her father probably had that it was someone coming to sell them something and she would turn them away and that would be that. But hearing her dad say, "officers" it sent a chill down her spine like you wouldn't believe.

"Dad? W-What's going on?"

"Jun, I think it's best that you—"

"Are you Jun Motomiya? The oldest sibling of the household?" The younger cop interjects. "Yes," Jun replies. "Is… something the matter?"

"Mr. Motomiya, your wife wouldn't be home at the moment, would she? I feel its best that with what we're about to tell you, we discuss with every member of the—"

"S-something happened to Daisuke, didn't it?" The question leaves her lips before she can stop herself. "Jun—" Itsuki's voice booms through the room. He hadn't meant to raise his voice as he had, but he refused to let her go there. They had no proof—none. Yet, the trembling of his body told a different story altogether.

There was no way that…

"Sir… I don't know how to say this, but… your son—" the younger officer's voice reached a sympathetic pitch, but it doesn't register to his ears. Ringing, deafening. He desperately tries to focus, but it feels as though he's being drowned underwater.

It's just him, the officers, and Jun. The rest of the world might as well be nonexistent. He thinks he grasps onto the words, accident, car, barely responsive, and critical condition, but all he feels is sick. He's so far gone, it doesn't even register that he's thrown up until he stares down at the small pool of bile. "D-Dad…" Jun's cry was a whisper on the wind that it was barely a blip to his ears. His body's hollow, nothing but a leftover husk, or at least that's what it feels like as Jun's bone-crushing grip is cold, and her ear-splitting cries sound muffled. "This—this can't be real? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE!" Anger and sadness laced into his words that for a moment he felt taken aback that he even has the energy to say anything at all. For once, since they relayed the information, he feels Jun practically seizing up beside him.

His girl, his baby girl, Jun. He remembers when his wife said she was pregnant that day. He one was extremely overjoyed, and beyond nervous at the same time. And just like that day when she was born he'd vowed to protect her, he knew he needed to do that now. He needed to tell her everything was going to be okay. He grabbed her and held her close, gave her a small kiss on the top of her head.

He doesn't remember what happens next much, but he thinks he mentions his wife and letting her know what's happened, but the young cop taking pity on their situation has done so himself. Itsuki is grateful, he knows he should be the one to, but he knows he's not in the right headspace as much as he wants to be. After that, the rest might as well been snapshots taken on an old Polaroid camera. He's in the back of a cop car, Jun's body is shaking against his, as she is trying her best to stifle her crying. At some point, he vaguely remembers the hospital, but the hectic nature of the goings-on around him only causes him to spiral further into himself.

He glances over at Jun, who seems to have collected herself a tad bit better. But it's still all too clear the mental toll this has taken on her. They're guided to the room where he'd eventually be released to—if… no, he wouldn't let his current state of grief drag him down to that line of thinking.

"What are we gonna tell mom?" Her words are shaky. She's willing to bear the weight of something that she shouldn't have to. And she wasn't, he wouldn't let her. Children shouldn't have to carry burdens such as this. "Just worry about your brother, I'll—I'll deal with mom," he gives a small smile that goes unnoticed.

The "in surgery"light is a bold red in its oppressiveness. Like a god, taunting its most devout followers. It's quiet on this side of the hospital, too quiet. His negative thoughts were creeping forward with reckless abandon.

He's not gonna make it…

It's all your fault…

You should've been a better father…

Like a cyclone, these words swirled around his consciousness… chipping away like a hammer to a chisel. "B-Breathe… c'mon, dad… follow what I do." Jun's words were soft and encouraging, which begs the question, when had he stopped breathing? Now that it's pointed out to him, his chest felt rather constricted.

"Good dad, just like that… in and out… good."

Knuckles pale as he followed along, chest slowly being relieved of the unknowing pain he'd put it under. "I-It's okay, dad… w-we'll get through—"

"Honey?"

Another familiar voice broke through the quiet that had built between them. They both looked up. "T-Tohru…" her name fell from Itsuki lips like a ghost's whisper. Her face was one of utter despair, but her eyes were trying their best to display hope, whether it be for her sanity or theirs. "M-Mom…!" Jun's emotions once again exploded full force as she clung to her mother's short frame in desperation as she bawled uncontrollably. Both their fragile frames collapsing to the tile floor in a heap. Only for Itsuki's arms to embrace them.

He'll be okay, we—we just have to believe!

All three family members cradled together as best they could be in three plastic chairs, their bodies most likely aching in a variety of different ways as they tried to find the best position of comfort in the space given. For them, this was nothing compared to what Daisuke was going through.

The "in surgery" light blinked off around 4 hours later. A nurse and a doctor were there to notify and greet the family of the change in status. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Motomiya. My name is Takeda Mori, I'll be Daisuke's doctor during his stay here. So please, if you have any concerns or questions going forward. Call me, be it morning, noon, or night. I mean that." Behind that lab coat of undeniable knowledge and expertise, was no doubt a person who wholeheartedly cared about his patients.

"M-My son…! How is—" Tohru was choking up. She could feel it as she stopped herself and let out a shaky breath to ask what they all so desperately wanted to know but were too afraid to force out of their mouths. Dr. Mori gets down on one knee, grabbing one of her hands and squeezing it in comfort.

"The surgery went well. It was touch and go twice. But Daisuke pulled through well…" Tohru's dower smile lifted, if only slightly. "That isn't all, however… Daisuke he's… on a ventilator and is in a coma…"

The glass that was barely holding all their weight shattered. They were all falling into the abyss.

"A… coma?" The word was a ghost on Jun's lips as she repeated the word similar to a parrot. Itsuki slowly rose from his seat. His head downcast, so it was impossible to read his facial features. "Can I see my son?" His voice sounded hollow, distant.

"Yes, you can… but I need to ask, and I promise you the last thing I want is sound is to sound insensitive, but that is what you want to do? Situations like this, they aren't easy… you don't have to be—"

"Yes—I want, no, we want to," he says. He glances at his daughter and wife who stare at him, fear and worries clear in their eyes. Tohru slowly walks next to her husband, reaching out for his hand as she clasps it tightly. Jun follows right behind her mother, her eyes brimming with clear resolution.

"Okay," Dr. Mori smiles. "Follow me this way, please…" he leads them out of the intensive care unit and to the less severe side of the hospital wing. Room 205. That was the door they were currently standing outside of. "Are we ready to go inside? Keep in mind when we go inside Daisuke's connected to a variety of tubes and ventilation and I know for some families, seeing someone they love and care underneath all those wires can be, well… it's… not something anyone should have to see. If going inside one by one is something you'd like to do, I also understand."

Jun speaks before either parent can parse a response "I'll go in first, okay? As his big sister, I gotta give him an ear full, right?."

A small smile rested on Tohru's lips, while Itsuki places a warm hand on her shoulder. She tries her best to smile; to seem together when she can feel her legs trembling… her heartbeat racing and she can feel her palms getting sweaty. She has never in her life wanted to run away more than at this moment. But for her family, for herself… for her brother, she stays firm.

"I'll be back," she tries to say with some gusto, but it's clear to even herself that her voice wavers. Her gaze locks onto Dr. Mori, who in all senses of the word, is her last excuse to turn around and walk away, and on some level, he seems to realize this as his expression changes to one of utter and possibly misplaced, or at least she thinks, confidence.

"It's okay, I know you'll be fine."

And that's all he has to say as her hand is already on the doorknob.

I… can do this…

Ultimately, she pushes it open and walks inside.

For Jun, to say this scenario wasn't something of a common occurrence, was, if she were being honest, all too common placed. 3 years since the accident and for a time she could do nothing but watch as her family fell into shambles around her. And that's not to say she was none the wiser. She knew and saw as her both her parents tried their best to keep it together around her, but even they couldn't keep it up for too long…

"Dad, how's your head?" She says, her voice low and comforting for his sake. He hasn't been this drunk in sometime. An untouched bowl of soup and a cup of water rests between them. He grumbles, hand gripping his head so hard, Jun was sure that his hand could make an indent. "C'mon dad, you gotta have something… you're body's dehydrated," she tries her best to coax guiding the glass toward him.

Thankfully, deciding to throw his stressed and tired daughter a bone, he grabs the still cup of water in front of him and brings it to his chapped lips. He takes one hearty swig rendering half of the glasses content already empty.

"W-What are you… doing… here?" He questions, letting out a light burp. "Hi, to you too, dad." Jun smiles, annoyed. "You didn't pick up when I called. You know I told you after the fourth ring to—"

"Y-yeah, yeah." he dismisses without a second thought. His head still burning from the hangover. "G-got drunk again, sorry," there's no genuine emotion behind the "sorry" it sounds planned; forced. In the beginning stages, the blatant dismissal of the toll this was taking on Jun seemed to strike a chord with her then slowly becoming dependent alcoholic father, but now… he didn't care about much of anything that wasn't booze.

"Where… are we?" He questions, not yet fully sober. He grabs the glass again, relishing in small sips this time. "Mrs. Kishibe's. I found you plastered outside the apartment." She relays. "Ah." Is his only response. This only makes Jun bristle with anger. "'Ah?' That's all you have to say? Dad, I love you, but I can't keep doing this with you. I'm stressed enough as is, from dealing with your current state. To having to go to the hospital, and with Aki gone on a trip, some days are just hard... I-I just—dad, I—" she could feel her voice trembling, it also didn't help that tears were blurring her vision.

"Stop going."

"W-what?"

"Why do you bother going to the hospital anyway, it's not like—"

Jun's hands slam on the table. Her anger had all but exploded. How dare he when he didn't even know the first thing about what was going on. "H-how could you even say that?" She seethed, her brown orbs ablaze with anger… This was an anger that was all but building. "You haven't stepped foot in the hospital for three years, dad! You and mom abandoned him! I never gave up hope, I've gone almost anytime I can. Y-you wouldn't know the first thing about what's happening! So don't dare tell me to stop. Don't dare tell me it's not worth my time, because I'm the last shred family left that gives any semblance of a shit!"

Her tears are full force now, she didn't dare wipe them away. She needed him to see the hurt his words and actions caused. She needed it to sink in somewhere that she was at her wit's end. And then…. the slap was hard and resounding, almost to where it scarcely registered to Itsuki, who was the one on the receiving end. "A-Aoi." There was a slight tremor to Itsuki's voice, that for the first time in Jun's life, she looked at her father as if he were a child.

"Don't 'Aoi' me. This needs to end, Itsuki. And I mean it." Her voice so strong and unwavering, it was like watching a ruler of a kingdom addressing their subjects. "Your daughter has done nothing but tried to help keep you afloat for 3 years now. But she's just one person! You can't expect her to shoulder the entire burden! She wasn't responsible for what happened. You know this, I know this, so why have you spiraled like this?" Her words a borderline plea. ,

Her father's face was a mix of emotions as he spoke, "I—need a drink." There it was, the despondence. The all too familiar disconnect. Aoi couldn't help but be astonished. While for Jun—a sad, broken smile is all she has the will to muster. "It's… okay, Mrs. Kishibe. We've—imposed long enough." That's all Itsuki needs to hear before he rises from the chair. He stumbles somewhat, but he's soberer than earlier. For good measure, he downed the last of the water from the glass. The lukewarm soup remains undisturbed. Itsuki is the first to leave as he doesn't even bother to put on his shoes and instead bends down to grab them. They rest slack in his fingers. He walks out of the apartment without a word.

Aoi looks over at Jun, troubled, "Jun… this isn't right… nor is it healthy. Not for you, or him. He has to learn to stand on his own again."

"I… know.." she lamented, "I want to tell him that Davis is awake… b-but as he is now, I—" she found she couldn't look in Mrs. Kishibe's general direction, she didn't want to see, to feel the guilt that weighed heavy in her entire being knowing it sounded as though she were defending her father ways. This whole situation had her lost, feeling alone, and the want to do nothing but cry until she couldn't anymore.

"Again, thank you so much," she bowed once again. But she knew no matter what she said or did, it could never; would be enough. With that, she turns around to leave. She can hear Aoi's soft footfalls behind her. "Jun… I'm always here, always." Jun glances back behind her to see a face, not of judgment or hopelessness, but one of understanding, undeniable love, and hope. "When… Davis is better, we'll come to visit okay?"

"Yeah, I'd love that. I'll whip up my best dish, just for you two." Aoi smiles as she closes the door softly behind her. As the door click registers to Jun's ears, she feels her body succumb under the weight of it all. She grasps onto the rail in front of her so tightly that the whiteness of her knuckles is a stark contrast to the dark blue of the banister that was holding her up.

She looked to see her dad leaning on the banister a few feet next to her. His shoes halfway on his feet, a smoke hanging tightly between his lips. As he exhales the smoke seeps through his chapped lips like something akin to a Geyser releasing steam. "Why do you even bother, hm?" He says so casually that takes a second for Jun to even catch he's said it.

"Dad… I'm not—we're not doing this again."

"Why? Because you don't have our neighbor to hide behind?"

"To hide behind? Dad, what are you even—?" she was beyond hurt. Her dad has never once been this hostel her before. So why now?

"What would you want me to do, dad? Leave you alone?"

His eyes catch hers and for once and she's hurt by this hatred that flares in his brown orbs. You would've thought he was looking at a stranger, but to look at your daughter, your flesh and blood as though she were nothing but a nuisance. Like a blight on your own life, it really and truly meant you were nothing short of contemptible.

And in a sad and sickeningly twisted way, this was the moment of realization for Jun. She'd been trying so hard. For three years she'd tried to keep the last pieces of her fractured family afloat, but not even she was enough…

The ride back to the Motomiya residence was one of gripping silence and growing contemplation. Where do they go from here? Continuing like everything was normal… was not possible, and the grim reality of what transpired earlier only further cemented that.

Jun believed Dr. Mori to be truly someone special. He truly was patient with each of them. Taking his time to explain how her brother's care would be handled from then on. And that he would update and call them personally if he saw even the slightest change in Daisuke.

"We… can't thank you enough," Tohru bows, choked up. She sounds on the verge of tears again, but is doing her best to hold back, she's cried a lot today, but Dr. Mori has renewed hope in her where she didn't even think it was possible. "Please, Mrs. Motomiya, raise your head. I'm just doing my job," he replies bashfully. Tohru slowly raises her head. A smile forms on her lips. Itsuki is the second to thank him. Dr. Mori once again shakes his head, trying his best to play off the praise being thrown his way. And, while Jun was grateful that the dread gripping her parent's hearts seemed pacified, it wasn't the same for her. The dread and pain clung to her like a vice, she was still finding it difficult to get the image of her baby brother in what looked like an endless sea of tubes and machines out of her head. It was like something surreal, horrific.

Her fists clinched unnervingly tight. Her ears were ringing, ringing, ringing… God, it felt like her ears were bleeding—an overwhelming pressure was bubbling in her head. "Jun, sweetie, are you ready to go?" The question barely registers to her, it almost sounds like it's coming through something akin to a grainy filter. She hears herself say "yes" because of the rumble of her throat, but other than that, like she's not at all in charge of her body.

Somewhere in between her responding to her mother, Dr. Mori had said something as she takes a minute to register he's guiding her away from her mother and father who are chatting with one nurse who is going to be taking care of her brother for who knows how long. When did she… but Jun's attention shifts back to Dr. Mori, who's telling her to breathe? Was that why her chest felt so tight?

Her breaths came out shaky and painful, but she does her best to follow the doctor's instruction. The tightness that once had itself like a vice grip around her chest recedes. "There, feeling better?" He questions, smiling. Jun finds she can only nod. "Good. I'm going to go have a chat with your parents again, sit here," he holds out a hand, guiding her undivided attention to a row of chairs. Without a word, she sits. Ears picking up vaguely on what was being said. "PTSD?" her mother questions. Yes, Dr. Mori follows up, "I think she would benefit from having medication, it'll help with anxiety and additional stress she might struggle through. This is just my recommendation, so ultimately it's up to you and her." Jun's irises meet her parent's gazes. They're sure she's heard, but they'd rather talk in private, about this; about everything…

She's not sure when it had started to rain, but it kicked off at a drizzle. Only to come pounding down moments later with reckless abandon. Water soaking all in its wake. With nothing to cover her, water soaks her to the bone. She lets it. She likes to think it helps mask the tears that are cascading down her face. Before she realizes it she standing In front of her and Aki's apartment.

She enters their eerily dark apartment. The trembling of her legs has her collapsing in at the base of the door, she finds strength to pull her phone out of her pocket, but her hands are shaking. She knows; she coming undone at the seams, but…

It was instinct; she thinks. Finger having already pressed his name, the 'now calling…' notice solidifying it all. She slowly places the phone to her ear, the ringing her only form of comfort as she's still bathed in darkness. Please… pick up. Please…

When it connects, her breath hitches.

"Hello?"

Hearing Akihiko's voice is all it takes for everything that happened to today to come rushing back like a bullet train. She's bawling. It's loud and ugly, she hates it. Aki doesn't need to hear her crying like this! She's supposed to be strong and together. This wasn't that, but she needed someone, anyone. Yet, she had—no one.

"J-Junie?" she can hear him question softly on the other side. "Junie, what's wrong?"

"A-Aki, I can't—" but this only makes her cry harder.

"Jun, baby, please…" he pleads again. She can hear how broken he sounds. She's know he just wants to comfort her, but he can't do that if she won't tell him. "I-I went to s-see Davis today…"

"Yeah? Did something happen?" he sounds panic stricken, but Jun is quick to calm his roaming thoughts. "N-No. Nothing like that, I p-promise." She loved her boyfriend to pieces, but once his brain got going at the slightest provocation of something bad happening, well… it was off to the races, in a matter of speaking. "Oh, good. So what's wrong?" his voice is quiet, close to a whisper. Jun's doesn't ask why, but she guesses it's to do with the fact that he's sharing a room with Ken and doesn't want to be too loud at risk of waking him up.

"I… I went to see my d-dad," her voice shaky. Her tears receded, at least for the time being. Meaning now she was only partly a wreck. "Oh… Junie, why? You know how he can be. We'd made a vow to deal with him together." He's hurt. The inclination in his tone tells her that much. But it's not really at her, more than it is for her. There was a genuine time were Aki and her father got alone well, but now… now it's—Jun's always tried to ask why, but after a while prodding only did so much to where Jun decided to just leave it be. She knew that when Aki was ready he would tell her.

"I-I know, I just… I can't rely on you—for things like this… at least, I shouldn't have to."

"Jun, you know I love you, right?"

"Y-Yes, of c-course. I love you, too." And I wish you were here.

The second half of that thought remains unsaid, yet something tells her that Aki knows. "That means your problems are my problems and vice vera, yeah?" while she can't see him, she knows that by how he said it, he's smiling. God, I don't deserve him.

"Y-Yeah…" she curls in on herself, using her left hand to pull her body close to her chest, while her phone still rests snug by her ear.

"I can tell you're hurting and I hate that I'm not there. So, I'm gonna see if I can—"

"N-No, Aki. Please don't cut your training camp short because of me."

"It'll be fine, I trust Ken to hold down the fort for a day or two."

"Aki…"

"Junie…" He replies teasingly. Causing an honest to goodness smile to break on her lips, the first ever since she got back home. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, night."

"Nighty, night. Don't let the bedbugs bite." he says. This earns him the softest of giggles, but that's all he needs. "There's my girl… Love ya."

"Forever and always."

With that, the line goes dead.

Aki always knew what to do and say when she had an episode such as this. He was too good for her. She can breathe, at least for a moment, and so she does. She takes a long and resonating breath. Stress and anxiety trickling out with each release of air. Everything around her feels serviceable, not amazing or grand, but passable. She stands, legs giving way slightly, but she doesn't fall and for that she'll grateful, it's still dark. Jun finds the light switch, illuminating the darknesses instantaneously. And seeing everything that she holds dear in this space that is both hers and Akihito's she smiles, "I'm home."