I'm in a strangely sentimental mood, and writing about Mildred and Hecate always gives me the feels.
En Pointe
Chapter 13: Barriers
Mildred couldn't believe what Enid was telling her, she had never felt relief like it. The academy would have been a bleak place without her, all life and fun sucked out and with no one to have her back against her spat with Ethel Hallow and co.
"We need to celebrate!" Mildred said once she had finished hugging her friend, tears in her eyes.
"I agree!" Enid smiled. "Dinner – my treat. Somewhere cute with huge portions of carbs," Enid laughed, "So we become, 'Bloated first years'."
"As long as we get permission," Mildred nodded enthusiastically, "Don't dare risk it."
"Fair enough," Enid agreed, "There's no way Ms Bat will say no anyway when we tell her why – and it's midday anyway."
xxx
Enid said yes! Lunch and a debrief?
P x
Pippa smiled as she sent it, 'Lunch and a debrief' being their go-to phrase when they were training and wanted to unwind and discuss the goings-on of the school.
Sure,
H x
Hecate hastily deleted the 'x', her fingers fumbling as if under some kind of spell.
xxx
They chose a place down on the river-bank, not too far, but which, according to Enid had a reputation for a great atmosphere. Glass everywhere, with model-like waiters whose faces did not seem to change to the faux-smiles that those in hospitality usually gave.
As it turned out, 'great atmosphere' meant that they didn't even bat an eyebrow as Enid confidently ordered a bottle of champagne.
"It's Saturday Mil," she told her as she saw her friend's reluctance. "We're celebrating and you'll be sober again by bedtime."
Mildred found she couldn't disagree to that logic as she raised her glass in a toast.
Xxx
"Pippa," Hecate smiled genuinely and then pursed her lips back.
"Hecate," Pippa smiled shyly through her eyelashes. "You look lovely," Pippa complimented. Hecate was, indeed, looking her best self. Long hair in a high ponytail and a nude-red lipstick that seemed to warm her pallor and black outfit.
"You look.. very… pink," Hecate smirked. Pippa was wearing a magenta blouse with draping sleeves, long blonde glossy strands accentuated by a pink sparkly clip.
"Signature colour," Pippa laughed.
"It suits you," Hecate complimented, suddenly serious while staring at Pippa's rosy pink lips.
Xxx
Mildred's heart thud into her pelvis.
"Oh my God Enid.. Don't look… But over there, HB and Ms Pentangle…."
"No…!" Enid gawped as she looked over to where Mildred was gesturing with her eyes.
"They look like they're… on a date…" Enid looked at Mildred quizzically.
"You think?" Mildred tried not to stare at her brunette mentor who seemed to be leaning in slightly towards the blonde over the wooden table deep in conversation. "They've been friends for years!"
"Don't stare Mil!" Enid hissed, "The champagne!"
"Oh God," Mildred winced, "You don't think they've seen us?"
"Definitely not," Enid shook her head. "But we need to keep a low profile."
xxx
"She's a smashing girl underneath it all," Pippa swilled her wine glass thoughtfully, "Just needs a bit of attention and fuss to bring it out if her."
"You're definitely good at that," Hecate pursed her lips together thoughtfully, and not judgementally for once.
Pippa smiled brightly.
Xxx
"How did we not see it before?" Enid shook her head. "Mum's always been honest about Ms Pentangle having a thing for women."
"And HB and her were so close!" Mildred added.
"They look great together: Tall, dark and brooding; petite, blonde and cheerful. Opposites attract," Enid said knowingly.
"She's laughing!" Mildred said open-mouthed, "Ms Hardbroom is actually laughing…I didn't know she could laugh..."
"Their body language, Ms Pentangle's showing her wrists. That's a sign!"
"HB just looked this way! Do you think she saw us?"
"We'd be dead already!" Enid assured her.
Xxx
"So if Enid is to retake her exam, will you still cap her at a pass?" Pippa questioned.
"I think that would be rather unfair, given the circumstances. I am fairly intrigued to see what the girl can do when she actually bothers," Hecate justified her rare mercifulness.
"I'm so grateful Hiccup," Pippa smiled, leaning in. "In time you will grow to see what a lovely girl she is."
"I'm just hoping she really applies herself now," Hecate pulled a face, "Hopefully her perfected technique will begin to rub off on Mildred too."
"I'm sure it will – you should see them choreographing together in my classes – so very talented," Pippa smiled. "Reminds me of us really," Pippa pursed her lips into a smile.
"No one could ever be like us," Hecate wrinkled her nose as soon as the words escaped her lips.
A pregnant pause as the atmosphere seemed to light.
Pippa met her eyes hopefully, swallowing the nerves that were fizzing into her mouth, "Do you… Do you still?" She said breathlessly, "Is there anybody else?" She bit her lip.
A silence.
"No," Hecate said firmly.
Pippa looked crestfallen for a moment in her unsurety.
"I … I meant 'no' to your second question," Hecate told her, heart pounding and words sounding small. "There's nobody else Pippa, there's never been anyone else.."
Pippa's jaw slackened,"You mean it?" she grabbed at the pale hand over the table. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you. I'd known you forever, but we were only just starting to understand this new side of us and then when it happened.. I should never have… I ruined it all Hecate and I've regretted that everyday, regretting losing you."
Hecate digested Pippa's words and saw once again the sincerity in her eyes.
You can't lose your heart to her again!
But she's being genuine – and you feel it.
You've worked so hard to close yourself off to all that.
But you want her..
"We need to go slow," Hecate heard herself say, "But I've missed you Pippa,"
xxx
"I can't stop watching them," Mildred whispered to Enid, despite the restaurant being full of noise and cheer.
"Hopefully a bit of banging will stop Hard Bitch being so super miserable the whole time!" Enid grinned.
"Enid!" Mildred shot at her.
"What!? You always defend her Millie!" Enid rolled her eyes.
Mildred opened her mouth to retort, but in that moment one of the cool-faced waitresses opened a bottle of champagne at the table next to them. A cork that banged obnoxiously before flying upwards and hitting one of the metal lights – the sound reverberating offensively around the restaurant.
"Woooo!" the table cheered as if it were a party trick. But the damage was done, as the still hand-holding couple looked up at the commotion. Obsidian eyes met chocolate and narrowed in sync with a distinctive purse of the lips…
xxx
"Maybe they didn't see us?" Enid whispered in confused hushed tones as both teachers grabbed their things and made their way out of the restaurant.
"She saw," Mildred said miserably.
"But surely they would have come over. Demanded we leave?" Enid added. "I don't get it…"
"I don't get it either…" Mildred said in a small voice.
Xxx
The anxiety was not going away. Mildred practised all of Sunday, feeling strangely obliged to, but her stomach was churning and her mind was not on her moves as she kept steeling glancing out of the viewing window – hoping and fearing she would run into Ms Hardbroom.
She barely slept that night – though Enid did not seem to have any bother. Her friend was now fully convinced their underage drinking had gone undetected as there was no message or summons from Ms Pentangle either.
But it was with an impending feeling of doom that Mildred entered Ms Hardbroom's dance studio the following morning. Clear doom when Hecate did not even look her way and acknowledge her as the class were coldly instructed to warm up.
To make matters worse, Hecate kept commenting on Ethel's good stretching techniques. The blonde's smug smile becoming a permanent feature of her face.
Mildred kept looking imploringly at her teacher, suddenly and childishly wanting to grab at her, a strange need for attention that she had never felt before.
Ten minutes later she was wishing she was still being ignored.
"I said turn your hip out!" Hecate was booming, "Tell me Mildred am I speaking a different language?! It amazes me that we have such a slovenly ballerina at such a prestigious school. Turn out!" she bellowed, hands on hips and eyes fully narrowed in displeasure.
Mildred forced her legs to stand 180 degrees, looking imploringly at Ms Hardbroom who simple pursed her lips, "Your laziness forever astounds me…" she said cuttingly, a fierce fire in her eyes.
It was all Mildred could do to not weep as she forced herself to appear impassive.
Xxx
The next day was much the same, Hecate open fire on her, finding fault more than usual as Mildred did her best not to feel completely disparaged. Thankfully results were posted right after morning class and it was with a wide disbelieving smile that she found her name, bang in the middle of the group of dancers – scraping a merit despite all that had happened.
For a moment she wanted to run back to class and thank Ms Hardbroom, but the woman's dark, angry eyes were firmly integrated onto her brain and for once even she did not dare overstep herself.
When six-o'clock came, she forced herself into the dance studio- half expecting Ms Hardbroom to not show for her private lesson. But HB was already there, looking impatient as she faced her student.
"Stretch your calves, stretch well…" she warned as Mildred stood for a moment in her unsurety.
"Yes Ms Hardbroom," she answered as respectfully as she could muster, before placing herself in the centre and beginning the stretches that had long since been embedded.
"Your exam…" Hecate began.
"A merit!" Mildred smiled despite the intensity of the situation as the tall woman loomed over her.
"Hardly anything to be so thrilled over," Ms Hardbroom chided, watching the girl's face drop.
"I… I know I could have done better… But…" Mildred began to justify herself.
"But you were sloppy, moves that you have been doing for years. Causing yourself near injuries. I think Mildred Hubble that you believe yourself invincible," Hecate shot, eyebrows protruding as if daring Mildred to agree.
"I… I…" Mildred faltered.
"Centre," Ms Hardbroom commanded in her booming voice.
Mildred bit her lip and placed herself onto the floor, trying to not quiver in her trepidation.
She looked down, not wanting her looking Hecate in the eyes to be misconstrued as impertinent, yet she could see the woman had her hands on her hips – one of her most furious mannerisms.
"Since you think locked knees are acceptable, it falls to me to train you out of it. Saute, second position, with a plie after each landing."
Mildred nodded.
"Begin," Ms Hardbroom began to pace as Mildred completed her first jump.
"Keep your posture straight, and eyes straight ahead," Hecate warned.
"How many Ms Hardbroom?" Mildred asked breathlessly after a couple of minutes.
"As many as it takes for the message to sink in," Ms Hardbroom replied silkily.
Mildred winced as her legs were beginning to burn.
"Point those toes properly," hissed Ms Hardbroom.
Another five minutes and the lactic acid build up was becoming intense. "Please Ms Hardbroom.." she began.
"Your laziness truly astounds me," Hecate cut across crossly. "You may not stop. Posture!" she added as Mildred began to slump.
Another couple of minutes and Mildred had truly had enough. She sat herself on the floor and hugged at her throbbing legs.
"Pathetic," Hecate seethed, "If you are not here to follow my instruction Mildred Hubble I am wasting my time. Now get back up!"
Mildred looked up and saw the depth of anger on Ms Hardbroom's face. She held the tears that threatened to fall. She's punishing me, she realised. This is what this is about….
Mildred winced, but did not look back as she walked out of the studio, her dignity let down slightly by the door banging on the way out.
Xx
Reaching the cool air of the winter's night, Mildred finally let the tears flow. A frustrated stream of salt that stung and pinched her warm cheeks in the bitter air.
She was so angry, furious that Ms Hardbroom had behaved like that with her, not giving her the chance to explain herself. It was such an odd reaction too, yes she had been drinking, but it wasn't like last time… And Ms Hardbroom had been overly forgiving then. Perhaps because I did it again… Betrayed her.
But I'm not her possession – not her toy to treat however she pleases.
"Oh Mildred darling, what's wrong?"
A soft voice next to her as the blonde woman leant again the wall that was currently holding her up.
Mildred couldn't get any words out if she tried.
"Aren't you supposed to be with Hec- Ms Hardbroom?" Pippa coaxed gently, rubbing the girl's shoulder supportively.
"I … I left," Mildred said between shaky breaths.
"You've quarrelled?" Pippa ascertained smoothly.
"She's angry with me… She saw me and Enid, we were drinking to celebrate her staying. You were there…" Mildred fixed her gaze on the kind freckly face.
"I thought she started acting strangely," Pippa pieced together. "Suddenly became rather quiet, even for Hecate," she mused.
"So she's taken it out on you then?" Pippa added.
"She didn't mention seeing us, but she's been so different, so off with me. I can't do anything right!" Mildred began crying again.
Pippa felt extremely sorry for the confused girl. Hecate was always such a private person, and it would have been immensely difficult for her to have a student, no less her protegee, see her vulnerable and exposed. She's hurt her, all to protect herself when there's no need. It was obvious to her that Mildred Hubble could never think any less of her, her devotion so truly apparent. Besides, Mildred was a modern child through and through, and modern children didn't care less about women being with other women.
"Hecate sometimes sees things differently, sees things wrongly," Pippa told the girl gently. "She doesn't always see the love that people have for her," she added knowingly. "Now chin up and head home, tell Enid that the next time she wants to splurge out on drinks she will be inviting me," Pippa winked.
Mildred nodded and managed a small smile.
Pippa began to march.
Xxx
The doorbell rang and the door was answered by Hecate, looking beautifully gothic with her hair hanging lose and her black dressing gown tied primly.
"Pippa?" Hecate quirked her brow.
Pippa pushed past her and walked into the kitchen as she heard the door shutting behind her.
"Oh good you've wine," she hinted cheekily, spying the bottle on the counter with it's lid off.
"I've had a long day Pip," Hecate started as she began to pour for her uninvited guest.
"I've heard," Pippa took the wine glass that Hecate proffered. "I've just been with a very upset Mildred Hubble…"
Pippa was expecting Hecate to defend herself, to justify herself and the child's need for discipline. Instead Hecate visibly blanched.
"I..I.. She.." Hecate started, before she stopped herself with a sigh. "I didn't do anything that Broomhead didn't do to me…When I locked my knees..." she added feebly.
Pippa gave her a pained smile, "You're not Broomhead though Hiccup…"
"I was cross, irritated that she had seen us. That she was drinking again after last time.." she sighed..."But mostly because she had seen us together."
"I don't think Mildred cares the faintest bit about all that," Pippa said staunchly.
Hecate nodded. "I know, I was just worried it would spread, that the students would all talk," Hecate took a large sip of wine, "I guess I wanted to make her afraid of me again.. Make the boundaries clear because they keep slipping," Hecate finished.
She filled up both glasses, concentrating on gaining perfect precision. "The way she looked at me, like I was an ogre with two heads…"
"One head is pretty enough," Pippa smirked.
"What do I do?" Hecate asked genuinely.
"Apologise," Pippa said simply. "She will forgive you, you're completely matchless to her. Then go back to being your darling firm but fair self, letting her cry on your shoulder whilst telling her her toes aren't pointed enough."
Hecate smiled softly at that, "Thanks Pip – stay the night?" she asked genuinely.
"Another glass of wine then," Pippa agreed.
Xxx