the thing with feathers
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.
Chapter Eleven
Yu Ziyuan tucked Wei Wuxian into the infirmary bed and let Healer Kang know what had occurred, but she had felt strangely distant from the world. Her split-second decision to take in the children had shocked even her, but that wasn't the cause.
Fengmian's loving look at her after her pronouncement, despite the way her decision was made without consulting him—or was it because of that?—was what had left her reeling.
If a ten-year-old had started to teach these children, they could have bright futures. They seemed eager to learn. This would make them loyal to Yunmeng Jiang, not merely disciples but wards. It was a smart move, one that would result in fewer street children. Even if these children did not form golden cores, they could be educated to take on a trade and strengthen Lotus Cove regardless.
But that wasn't why she had done it. Today, seeing those children in the market, remembering the bright and curious waif Fengmian had brought home, it was like another second chance had presented itself to her. A chance to make right.
Ever since the attack on Wei Ying, she'd felt soft toward the child, watching him in his coma those weeks, seeing him as more than just her rival's son.
Truly, Cangse Sanren had not been a rival, as she had never sought Fengmian's attention. In the time of Wei Ying's convalescence, Ziyuan spent time considering her treatment of the boy, the way her children reacted when she treated him well, the way a-Cheng seemed to shrink in on himself when she compared him unfavorably with Wei Ying, whose reaction was much the same, as though she had found him unworthy. In comparison, the way both boys seemed to blossom under a-Li's affection…
Old habits were hard to break, and she had let herself fall into them again, despite her desire for a new beginning.
Ziyuan knew she was all sharp edges, often cutting people with her words and attitude. Often it was useful with sect business, being able to slice through the bluster of some of the other sect leaders. These sharp edges, though, cut her children, cut young Wei Ying, made her a figure they often shrank from, expecting to be hurt.
She had watched Wei Ying reach out to her in blind trust, her transgressions forgotten. She had heard his words to a-Cheng from outside the infirmary, encouraging him to take interest in whips if he didn't want to play an instrument, advice that had gifted her time with her son to train him individually…
Somehow the boy had, in mere weeks, wormed his way into her heart, though perhaps he'd always been there, and she'd walled it off in useless bitterness.
But a child who would teach those less fortunate to read and cultivate enough to survive, who would feed them and take care of them on his own time… Such a child deserved more from her.
She came back to herself as Fengmian approached her, the little girl still in his arms.
"We likely won't have clothing that will fit a-Lian," he said.
Ziyuan studied the girl briefly.
"She will fit into some of a-Li's old clothing temporarily. I can have Jinzhu or Yinzhu find it in storage while I bathe her."
Movement behind her told her one of the two had left to do just that. Fengmian smiled at her, and she felt warmed by it.
"She also does not remember her surname," he commented. "The boys were able to recall theirs and are added to the register as disciples, but she…"
The child watched them solemnly, clearly accustomed to watching and listening quietly. Ziyuan took her from Fengmian and settled her on her hip.
"We will ask a-Ying," she said after a moment of thought. "He found her, and as such she should take his name if he wishes it."
Fengmian looked surprised at the idea but nodded.
"Wei Lian," he said, as though testing out the name. "Adoption rites. She could become his sister."
Ziyuan nodded, turning the things that should be done over in her mind.
"If he consents, we will need his parents' tablets. It would be appropriate to place them in the ancestral hall, anyway."
She was surprised to see tears spring to Fengmian's eyes.
"My lady, I… Changze was my sworn brother. I would be happy to place them there."
Abruptly, Ziyuan wondered if Fengmian saw Wei Changze when he looked at Wei Ying, not Cangse Sanren, if she had misinterpreted his interest in the boy all along. He always encouraged the boy to call him shushu, had never sought to replace his father. Yet she had assumed she saw the boy as the son he had wanted to have with Cangse Sanren, not a nephew he was raising in Wei Changze's place.
Perhaps all this time he had been grieving his sworn brother, not a lost love.
"Then it should be done," she said softly. "And should have been done years ago."
It was the closest she could come to an apology, but she could see from Fengmian's reaction that he knew it for what it was.
"Thank you," he whispered, then surged forward to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I will ensure our new disciples settle in."
"This one is a little young to be a disciple yet, but she'll be able to start her education sooner," Ziyuan said, trying to will herself not to blush. "I'll handle her."
As she parted ways with Fengmian, she resolved to never again fail to communicate and instead assume. Her assumptions and bitterness had harmed her family.
A-Lian was well-behaved and seemed happy to be getting clean, clearly delighted with the warmth of the water and the scent of the oils Jinzhu selected for it. Possibly it was the first time she could remember having a warm bath.
Among the ragged clothing she had worn was a makeshift bag with the sort of treasures a child might have—pretty stones and shells, along with crushed bits of food that would no longer be needed, and several rough dolls made of dried grass. Ziyuan sorted through the mess and set aside the pebbles, shells, and dolls for the child to keep, and set the rest with the ragged clothing to be destroyed. A better bag would need to be found to house them, but in the meantime she created a small pouch out of a kerchief to hold them.
The child had some small scars but had clearly not suffered any major injuries. She was too skinny for her age, but not as malnourished as Wei Ying had been when he had arrived at Lotus Cove—and Ziyuan knew the boy was likely the reason a-Lian was healthier.
Likely all the children were healthier than they would otherwise be, having been encouraged to stick together to avoid dangers, having been fed out of Wei Ying's allowance. Some of the treats he was given by shopkeepers who liked him had probably gone to them, if not all of them.
In the year he had been here, he had used his good fortune to help these abandoned children.
Truly, he deserved better from her.
Yinzhu returned with a small stack of clothing as Ziyuan and Jinzhu were washing a-Lian's hair. Before long, her maids were drying the child and combing her hair while Ziyuan looked through the pile. She had chosen even clothing for sleeping, which was well-considered.
Ziyuan could remember little a-Li wearing each article of clothing, and the idea they would be worn again made her smile.
She chose an outfit, and dressed her in lilac silk zhongyi, then a silk ruqun of a darker shade of purple with embroidered lotuses. Linen would be more practical, but she couldn't restrain herself from the urge to see the child dressed in finery when she had just been wearing rags. Yinzhu and Jinzhu styled her hair in tight buns on either side of her head using red ribbons, like an homage to a-Ying. For a split second it was like looking at a-Li when she was that young.
She gave the girl the kerchief pouch of her belongings, and the child treated it like a gift, bowing clumsily and thanking them. It was heartening to see her awareness of manners. Ziyuan was reminded that the eldest child had mentioned they'd been taught proper greetings by Wei Ying as well. She found herself fighting a smile, imagining the rambunctious and oft-rebellious boy teaching others manners.
"Is Wei-xiong okay?" a-Lian asked softly, pulling Ziyuan from her thoughts.
"He is recovering," she told the child gently. "I will take you to him, if you want."
All the children needed to be seen by Healer Kang, truthfully, and she suspected some of the boys might need medical care of some sort or another. Even a-Lian could have parasites from bad food, potentially—she doubted the child had lice; Jinzhu or Yinzhu would have said something.
A-Lian nodded, and Ziyuan lifted the child onto her hip, taking the small bundle of a-Li's old clothing with her other hand. They would have to determine where the girl would sleep, as she was far too young to join the disciples, but there would be time for that.
A-Ying was still asleep when they arrived, and the Lan boys were quietly meditating. Ziyuan turned a-Lian over to Healer Kang with orders she be examined.
"When the others have bathed and dressed, they will be brought for examination as well," she told him. "They have been homeless for a period of time, so they may have some of the afflictions a-Ying had when he first arrived."
She settled the bundle of clothing on the table near a-Ying's bedside. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and she took a moment to study his features, trying to remember Wei Changze's face. The boy had his chin, she thought, square and strong, and perhaps his brow, but Cangse Sanren's high cheekbones. His nose was his father's at the brows, shifting toward his mother's near the tip.
She could see now how Fengmian could see his sworn brother in a-Ying, where she had only ever seen her rival. She had disregarded Wei Changze entirely, seeing only Cangse Sanren, when the child was both of theirs.
Ziyuan felt like a jealous fool.
Jealous of a dead woman and taking it out on her son. On her own family.
Wei Ying murmured in his sleep, and she sat beside him on the bed as he stirred.
"Shenshen?" he asked blearily. "We're home?"
She heard quiet footsteps and the rustling fabric that indicated the little Lan had approached, the boy having been adhered to a-Ying's side since he awoke. She ignored him.
"I'm afraid the outing was a bit too much for you," she told him, reaching forward and tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "But I decided those children will be good disciples, especially as you've already started their education. Their home is Lotus Cove now."
"Really?"
The boy sat, looking stunned, confusion and relief on his features. He didn't even remember most of the children, but he still cared. Ziyuan knew that sort of empathy could be turned against someone, but she couldn't fault him for it. She would just need to teach him to guard his heart.
"And there's the matter of a-Lian. She has no family name. Perhaps you should take responsibility and share your name with her. Adopt her as your meimei."
The confusion swept away under a huge smile, one of his sunniest, and he nodded.
"I will! Thank you, shenshen."
He threw his arms around her, launching himself against her in a hug she didn't expect. It was, she realized, the first hug he had ever initiated with her, though he was always tactile with Fengmian, a-Cheng, a-Li, the young Lan boy, even his martial brothers and sisters…
She couldn't help but wonder if he would still hug her if he remembered how poorly she had treated him, had nearly let herself fall back into treating him.
Ziyuan let herself wrap her arms around him in return, pulling him in close, and sent a mental apology to Cangse Sanren for her ill treatment of the boy, promising better.
She held him until she was absolutely certain she was no longer in danger of letting tears fall.
So, yes, they now have another kid. Just not in the way you expected.