Chapter Thirteen
"Berenor!"
She stood there, her feet frozen to the ground, shocked at the sight before her. A cold sensation washed over her entire being as her heart pounded in her chest. The world went silent, all except for the ringing in her ears. Her eyes locked onto her fallen protector as he was overpowered by his opponent. Forced to the ground by brute strength, Berenor was disarmed. She could only watch in horror as her kidnapper swiftly sank his double edged sword into the ranger's chest. The sound of his pained gasp reached her ears and before she knew it she was on the ground beside him.
"Berenor! Berenor!"
Blood flowed freely from the wound, coating her hands as she gripped tightly onto his tunic. Her hands trembled, the very sight of him in such a state overwhelmed her. Tears fell freely and her loud sobs reverberated around them.
"Berenor, there's so much blood.. Berenor, please answer me."
Her sorrowful pleads seemed to fall on deaf ears. She cupped his face in her hands and begged him to look at her. His eyes opened slightly, half hooded and almost completely drained of life. She quickly removed her cloak and pressed it onto his wound, hoping to delay the inevitable. She was no doctor and had no expertise in such situations. All she knew was to apply pressure and she knew this would not be enough.
"Tell me what to do. Hurry! What do I do?!"
Blood ran from the corners of his mouth as he cough weakly in her arms. His hand rose to her face, wiping away her ever flowing tears. She barely knew him and yet she cried as if he were her closet friend, family even.
"Please" She sobbed into his hand.
"Please tell me what to do. You can't die. Please Berenor." She begged him desperately.
With shaky breath he summoned enough strength to oblige her request. Gripping her hands in one hand and pulling her face near his with the other, Berenor spoke his final word.
"Run…"
Andie awoke suddenly, her eyes snapping open in panic. Her heart pounded in her chest and she squinted at the bright sun shinning down on her. A heavy hand broke her out of her trepidation and her eyes flitted over to a concern ranger, Idhrenor.
"It was a dream Andie." He consoled.
She rubbed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the grogginess from sleep. It was a dream, just a dream. Taking in a deep breath, Andie closed her eyes and rubbed her face in her hands. Exhaling loudly through her nose, she sat up without a word and looked around her. Gandalf was seated under a tree, with his pipe in hand and a heavy expression on his face. The campfire was low and on top of the flame was a small pot. Their packs and bedrolls, except for the one she was currently sitting on, were all packed up. She was the only one just waking and a pang of guilt washed over her. She caused so much trouble last night and here she was sleeping while the others were awake.
The horrible images of her nightmare flashed in her mind and she silently search the camp for a certain ranger. He was no where to be found and neither was Remlas. She worried about him greatly. Was he alright? The events of last night's fight played over in her mind. She thought about how she stupidly wondered off. She thought about how she let her fear silence her into compliance. She thought of the moment she watched him being force to the ground. One thought echoed in her mind, he could've died and it made her feel sick. She knew he wasn't dead, after all it was just a dream, but she couldn't shake her worry. She tried to reason logically with herself. Surely Idhrenor would be showing signs of concern for his fellow ranger should he be in trouble. She glanced at Idhrenor, trying to discern any sign of bad news, her distress not going unnoticed by him.
"Is something wrong?" He questioned.
"No... Where's Berenor?" She asked him.
"He and Remlas will return soon. You needn't to worry.. Berenor is well." He assured her, his voice low.
"Oh.." she said casting her gaze downwards to her hands, Berenor's dried blood still caked on her left hand.
"You were calling out for him in your sleep."
"Oh? I.. Uhhh.." she stuttered, embarrassed.
"Here, drink this." He said while handing her a small bowl.
She peered into it and saw a familiar looking liquid. She took a sip, the warmth of the drink comforting her, and continued to drink until she was done. Starring at the now empty bowl in her hands, Andie couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions. Guilt, worry, and embarrassment bubbled inside her causing her stomach to flip-flop with an uneasy feeling.
"Are you feeling well?" He asked her, taking the bowl from her hands.
"I'm fine." She lied, avoiding his gaze.
She knew he would still check and didn't fight him. She trusted him and didn't want to be anymore of a burden than how she perceived herself at the moment. His hand pushed her hair away from her face and she pulled her hair behind her ears in response. His eyes moved from her cheeks to her neck and her tilted her head to size for a better view. All signs of hives were gone and he released her from his inspection.
"Andie, we must talk about last nig—" he started.
"You're hurt." She interrupted.
His brows knitted together in brief confusion as she pointed to his face. Just below his eye was a cut, about three inches in length, from the scimitar blade of the half-orc. It was the only injury he suffered from last night.
"It's nothing but a scratch." He brushed off.
"Did you clean it?" She asked, her fingers hovering over the cut.
He was silent for a moment, staring at her before answering. "Yes"
"Are you hurt anywhere else?"
He smiled at her warmly. "No."
A sigh of relief escaped her lips, though it was quickly replaced with renewed guilt. She fidgeted with her fingers and her eyes locked onto her hands, remembering that he mentioned wanting to talk about last night.
"I'm sorry.. Idhrenor I'm so sorry." She apologized, ashamed.
"I'm sorry I left. I didn't think I wandered that far. I could still see you all and I thought it would be ok. You were all yelling and I heard my name and I.. I don't know what I was thinking. It was stupid. I'm stupid. And now Berenor is hurt and you got hurt. It's all my fault." She rambled on, her eyes fixed on the ground as she wrung her hands.
Idhrenor regarded her for a moment, assessing her remorse. She blamed herself, even when he and his brothers were at fault same as her. He listened to her apologize once more, this time meeting his gaze as she did so. Her apology was heartfelt and pained, full of regret. She once more reminded him of himself, worn and tired, and he stared at her in commiseration.
"Andie" he began, squeezing her shoulders gently, effectively stopping her rambling.
She looked at him with big sorrowful doe eyes and anxiously awaited his response. She wouldn't blame him if he rejected her, in fact she expected him to. She had been nothing but a burden to him since they met and drawing from pass experiences Andie was surprised he had stayed this long with her. She tried walking on eggshells around them, especially Berenor, but in the end she only managed to cause trouble. Her body tensed in anticipation, counting down the seconds to his response.
"You were foolish to wander off.." He criticized in an authoritative tone, his face fixed with a stern expression.
Her gaze dropped to the ground, too ashamed to maintain eye contact with him. She twisted and pulled at her fingers, finding very little comfort with the motions. Her hands were stilled when he held them in his large rough battle-worn hands, covering her small callous free ones, causing her to once more meet his steel grey eyes.
"But it is I who should be apologizing to you." He said sincerely, moving one hand over to his heart as he bowed his head to her. "Forgive me my lady for I have failed you."
Staring at him without blinking she opened her mouth to reply only to close it a second later, speechless. He didn't blame her and this surprised her greatly. Before she could make sense of his words, Idhrenor spoke once more.
"We were tasked to keep you a secret and safe. It was foolish to wander, Andie, but I should have kept a better watch of you. Instead I allowed myself to be distracted and you were taken... Forgive me"
"Idhrenor..it wasn't.. you're not.." she stumbled with her words.
The sincerity in his apologies never ceased to amaze her. She was so used to the prideful and less considerate people in her life back home and to see him taking on responsibility for last night only made her feel more guilt. It wasn't his fault. They warned her many times not to wander, especially at night. She knew better and still she ventured away alone. She turned her hands to hold his and squeezed tight.
"It wasn't your fault. I'm not a child and I shouldn't have been far from you. It was my choice and it was incredibly stupid. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself.. I just thought it would be good to give you and the others a little privacy. You were all yelling and I heard my name. None of you looked happy..."
"Andie I can explain" he began.
"It's ok. Really, it is. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought about pretending to sleep but I didn't think I could fool you or the others and I didn't want you all to think I was eavesdropping. I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble. I really appreciate all you do for me."
"And you didn't fail me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. You saved me, cared for me, introduced me to Gandalf, Remlas and Berenor. And your still helping me.. Idhrenor, I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you."
"I seek no payment. It is my duty as a Ranger of the North to protect those who are heedless or unaware to the evils that dwell in Middle Earth. You give me too much credit. Do not forget your own strength Andie. You are stronger than you realize."
"Huh?" What do you mean?"
"You fought bravely against the Barrow-Wight. They are merciless creatures and not many survive an encounter with one of their kind and yet you managed to hold it off until I arrived. Berenor spoke of your bravery last night. You saved his life and still you sell yourself short. I do not believe you to be helpless Andie, just inexperienced. But what you lack in skill you make up in determination, compassion, and your eagerness to learn."
Once again she was at a lost for words. The word bravery wasn't one she thought anyone would ever use while describing her or anything she did. Many things scared her and many things made her anxious. She almost always avoided confrontation and hardly believed she was good at anything. But, she did dream of adventure and becoming someone who was strong and brave. She dreamt of sailing the seas and traveling the world. She dreamt of seeing wonders and living life without worrying what others would say but she had long ago pushed those dreams aside.
His words had lifted away some of the weight that made her heart heavy and she pulled him into a tight hug to show her gratitude. One would think after the many times she hugged him without warning that he would be accustomed to her displays of affection. Still he tensed in her embrace and awkwardly patted her on the back, fully aware of the Wizard who watched them in silence from a far with a smile on his face.
He cleared his throat as she pulled away and she smiled warmly at him.
"The others will be back soon. Let me see your hands."
"My hands?" She said questioningly, holding her palms up for him to see.
He found a long cut on her right palm and she winced when he applied pressure on it. After retrieving a pouch and water skin, he poured water on to her hands to wash away the dried blood and she watched him as he worked. She took the moment to study his face, her eyes moving from his dark eyebrows to his straight nose. She looked to his sharp jaw and rugged beard that covered it. Her eyes then wandered back to his and to her embarrassment she found him looking back at her. Her face redden at being caught eyeing him and she averted her eyes shyly when he smiled.
"Here, chew this."
He handed her a plant she recognized all too well, Athelas. "Chew it and apply it onto your cut. You run from me every time I do it myself, unless you rath—"
"No, no! I got it! I can do it." She said quickly, mock-glaring at his smirk.
The plant's calming flowery scent filled her nose as she popped it in her mouth and chewed, it's mellow sweet taste coating her tongue. He wrapped her hand up in a bandage after she applied the paste. Her hands remained in his and he no longer wore his playful smirk.
"I need to speak with you about last night." He said seriously.
"Hmm?" She encouraged him to continue.
"Did you know the man who took you?"
She squinted her eyes at him and furrowed her brows in scrutiny. "No."
"Did he say what he wanted?"
"Me.." she answered meekly. "He called me Alice. He said he was sent to bring me to my husband. I told him he had the wrong person. I told him my name but he didn't believe me."
"Are you married?"
"No"
"Did he tell you anything else?"
"He told me his name.. Rhys, I think. He said he wouldn't hurt me."
"Why didn't you call for me? Why did you go quietly?"
"He said he would hurt you all if I made a sound... I was scared.."
"Did he harm you?"
"No.. He wouldn't let the others near me, the two other men."
"Half-orcs" he corrected with a hint of disgust.
"Half-orcs?"
Their conversation was cut short by the arrival of Remlas and Berenor, their voices catching Andie's attention immediately. Her focus was on Berenor and she watched as he walked across the camp to where his pack was, tied securely on top of one of the horses. Idhrenor noticed the way her eyes assessed his brother's form, scanning him for any signs of injury. When her eyes lingered on him for too long, he was confused by the sudden unpleasant twinge he felt in his chest.
'What is this?' He thought to himself, rubbing away at the heavy feeling rising in his chest. He was unsure as to why he felt so bothered, he had aided and protected many along side his brothers before... so what was the meaning of this emotion? He had come to appreciate their time spent together, she had begun to grow on him with all her peculiar ways. Perhaps his brothers were right to remind him not to get too close to her. After all the goal was to return her home and it would not do any good to get attached.
"Miss Andie, may I have a word?" Gandalf called, gesturing for her to join him by the tree he sat under.
She glanced at Idhrenor before making her way over the wizard, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He watched her momentarily, taking in the sight of her safe and well. Only when a hand clapped him on the shoulder did he look away to be greeted by a smiling Remlas.
"What?" Idhrenor said curtly.
"Peace brother, I am simply happy you've found someone who can lift you out of your grumpy state." Remlas teased.
"What? No criticism? No warnings or reminders?" He retorted sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
"Idhrenor, you know we mean well. Berenor and I only worry for you.. I do not think ill of Miss Andie. Honestly it was only the fact that she is a traveler that gave me pause and I only ask that you give me the chance to explain."
Idhrenor sighed deeply and crossed his arms in annoyance. "Andie being a traveler is all that bothers you? So if she was of Middle Earth you would have nothing to say?"
"No brother.. it doesn't bother me that she is a traveler, you misunderstand me. You've lost so much and I do not wish to see you hurt anymore. You refuse to forgive yourself and you deny yourself reconciliation. I am not blind brother, I can see you care for her. If last night is any indication then Miss Andie is in much danger and the road before her will not be easy or guaranteed."
There was silence between them, followed by a loud sigh emitting from Idhrenor as he rubbed his face with one hand. "I do not think of her as Avaron or Rharon. You see nothing."
"Then it is you who is blind.. I believe what you say, you need not convince me any further. I worried about her involvement regarding the past travelers but last night has answered much for me. She does not know them. She has earned my trust and the protection of my sword. Idhrenor, she didn't leave Berenor behind, even when he ordered her to. She saved his life as well. It doesn't bother me that she is a traveler, only what that means to the journey ahead.. and what will become of you if you continue down this road."
Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, Remlas smiled at him warmly, "I truly am happy you have found someone who you feel at ease with."
"I know not what you mean, though I am glad to hear your thoughts have changed about her." Idhrenor said, brushing off Remlas' hand from his shoulder.
Remlas smile grew knowingly, he wouldn't push the matter further, at least not right now. They joined Berenor by the horses and were ready to break camp when Gandalf approached them, Andie following quietly close behind the wizard. She was less cheery than any of the rangers had ever seen her. Her eyes darted around her surroundings and it was clear to them that she was nervous and afraid.
"We've lingered here far too long. Let us make haste and make up for lost time." Gandalf spoke while mounting his horse.
Andie walked over to Idhrenor, her eyes downcast. She was biting her bottom lip and appeared to be lost in thought. She didn't smile at him when she meet his gaze, instead she simply looked to the horizon wordlessly. It was the solemn expression on her face that filled him with concern. He knew her to have a nervous and anxious side but there was something of her demeanor he recognized in himself and it worried him greatly.
'What could Gandalf have said that has affected her so?' He wondered to himself, moving to help her mount his horse.
It surprised them both when Berenor called out for her. He nudged his horse to walk up beside them and extended his hand for her to take. "Ride with me Andie" he said gruffly.
She hesitated momentarily, glancing at Idhrenor and weighing her options. She didn't want to offend Berenor by rejecting his offer. What gave her pause was the thought of sitting so close to the man. It was one thing to sit so closely to Idhrenor. She knew him longer, she was comfortable around him, heck the man smeared medicinal paste with his spit on her multiple times and that was a huge 'no,no'. Even after all of that it was still awkward sitting that close of a proximity to Idhrenor, not to mention falling asleep on him for the second time.
She reasoned it would be far more uncomfortable to ride with Berenor. In the short time she knew him she had come to believe that for whatever reason she annoyed the man. She had the impression that he didn't like her at all and that thought was solidified when she overheard the way he spoke her name in such anger last night.
'Why does he want me to ride with him? He doesn't look happy at all.' She thought apprehensively. She could feel herself shrink under his gaze and he gave her a pointed look while gesturing to his hand.
"Come on now! We don't have all day!" Gandalf scolded, breaking her from her thoughts and startling her simultaneously.
Idhrenor raised a brow at her as she took hold of Berenor's hand, he took notice of her flushed face and once again he felt an unpleasant twinge in his chest.
"Give her a hand Idhrenor, hoist her up." Remlas called out behind them, on top his steed.
He glowered at him, his frown clearly conveying his annoyance, silently telling his brother to 'shut up'. He firmly gripped her by the waist and swiftly lifted her up effortlessly. Berenor pulled her onto the horse and she sat behind him, her hands awkwardly hovering near his waist, unsure of whether or not to hold on to him. She immediately grabbed at his sides tightly when he cued the horse to walk with a nudge of his legs, afraid that she might fall off. He tensed at the feeling of being grabbed at and corrected her hold.
"Hold onto me like this lest you fall." He instructed sternly, moving her arms to wrap around his waist securely.
She didn't respond as she complied, her front almost touching his back. She already had the feeling this ride wouldn't be a comfortable one. Glancing back at Idhrenor on his own steed she could see him assessing her but for what she didn't know. Berenor cued the horse once more, this time to a trot to follow Gandalf's lead.
They rode in silence for some time and Andie was thankful for it. It was a greatly appreciated break from the many questions surrounding last night. When Gandalf asked for a moment to speak with her before they departed, Andie knew he would ask the same questions the others did. The repetition of questions was becoming tiresome, she really didn't want to think about what occurred anymore than she had to. What bothered her the most was the lack of answers she received. It didn't escape her notice how Gandalf expertly skirted around her questions. Suspicion bubbled inside her and she began to wonder if he and the others knew more about her situation than they led her to believe.
She had given up on trying to keep space between herself and Berenor, her back hurting with each step the horse took. Her body still ached from the journey and was still not accustomed to activity of such travels. She leaned into his back with her head resting on his uninjured shoulder. She debated quietly in her head if she should ask him how he was, her nightmare plaguing her mind once more. So lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice when he looked at her in response to her tighten embrace around his waist.
"Miss Andie" his gruff voice called out, gaining her attention.
"Hmm?" She answered, moving to rest her chin on his shoulder as her eyes flitted up to his face.
His steel grey eyes searched her for any discomfort, he found none. She took the opportunity to do the same, he looked as he always did, stern and serious.
"Are you feeling well?" He inquired, his attention back on the path before them.
"Mmhmm." She hummed in the affirmative, resting her head again, down on his shoulder to face him.
"Are you ok?" She asked timidly, almost in a whisper.
He glanced at her quickly, he could see something was troubling her. It dawned on him that she was concerned over his wellbeing, it was unexpected.
"Berenor?"
"Aye, I am well. You needn't worry. It's was a mere scratch." He answered, downplaying his injury.
"A scratch" She said disbelieving. "That was a lot of blood for a scratch."
He didn't answer, ignoring her comment. Her eyes dared to explore his face and she took in his facial features. His eyes where a lighter shade of grey than Idhrenor's and his hair far darker, reaching his shoulders. He had a straight nose and a well kept goatee. Sensing her wandering gaze, he rolled his shoulder in an attempt to divert her attention elsewhere.
"It's impolite to stare" he stated matter-of-factly.
"It's also impolite to lie." She countered, smiling gently at him.
Her smile widen at the sight of his eyebrow twitching, clearly she caught him off guard. She noticed the way the edge of his mouth turned upwards for a second only to return to the stoic expression he usually wore.
"I spoke no lie."
"Are you sure?"
He cocked an eyebrow at her.'Is this the same meek woman? Is still how she speaks with Idhrenor?' He wondered.
"Does your shoulder hurt?"
"No"
Her lips pulled into a straight line, displeased with his short answer. She began to wonder why he insisted she ride with him, sighing when she couldn't think of a good enough reason. They rarely spoke to each other besides the times where he was teaching her westron or other skills. She then thought of the argument she overheard and wondered if he meant to confront her about something. She racked her brain for any moment that she may have done something wrong. Something worth a confrontation from Berenor but she couldn't think of anything. She hated the uneasy feeling turning in her stomach and decided it was time to speak up.
"Are you mad at me?"
There was a pause. He gave her a sideways look before answering with a simple 'no.'
"Did I... Are you sure you're not mad?" She asked again, squinting at him.
"Do I have reason to be?"
She pondered briefly on her answer. Does he have a reason to be mad?.. Before the kidnapping, no? After? Yes. Yes, he did.' She reasoned internally.
"I'm sorry for wandering off.. I wasn't thinking right."
"It was foolish of you to do so." He chided.
"You're not mad about that?" She asked, nervously.
"I was.. for a moment." He answered.
"And now?"
"I have come to realize I am at fault. Am I correct in assuming you overheard myself and my brothers arguing?"
"I didn't mean to but yes.." she admitted meekly.
"Then I am the reason you wandered off... Forgive me Miss Andie. I was distracted by my own misgivings and in turn have failed you as your guardian. You have my word, it will not happen again." He apologized sincerely.
"It's ok..." she said shyly.
"To keep my promise I will speak with you truthfully. I wish to know more about you should you allow me the opportunity."
"Uhh.. ok." She said unsure.
"I did not fully trust you. I had suspicions... perhaps you had ill intentions towards my brother. You are too familiar with him and I do not approve."
Listening to his impressions of her, she could feel her heart drop into the depths of her stomach. Her hunch was right, he didn't like her. She wasn't sure if she was understanding him correctly but she got the overall message.
"What do you mean I'm too familiar with Idhrenor?" She asked seriously.
"Do you fancy him?" He flat out questioned.
"Fancy?" She asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.
"Yes. Are you interested in my brother?" He rephrased his questions.
"What?!" Andie exclaimed, mortified.
Berenor looked to her expectantly, awaiting her answer. "No, no, no." She stammered.
"We're friends." She explained rapidly.
"Friends.. Are you sure?" He asked with a side glance, a small smirk playing on his lips.
"Are you joking?"
"Partly." He said nonchalantly.
She stared at him completely confused, he was joking.. but only half-joking. So what exactly was he joking about?
"What do you mean you don't approve?"
"My brother has a troubled past. I do not wish to see him suffer any more than he does now. I saw you as a threat." He said vaguely, being mindful of Gandalf's advisement of not mentioning information on travelers.
"Oh.." she said, still bewildered as to what he meant.
"I'm sorry if I've offended you or Remlas or Idhrenor. It wasn't my intention. I don't want to hurt Idhrenor... Honestly, I'm scared that you all will end up getting hurt because of me. You already got hurt.. I'm sorry Berenor. I really am." She said sincerely.
"You needn't apologize. I know you mean no harm. Last night has put much into perspective for me. It is I who has done you an injustice. I was quick to judge, I was a fool."
"So you trust me now?"
"Yes."
"Does this mean you approve of me?"
"Should I take that to mean you do fancy Idhrenor?"
"No, I— never mind." She said in a huff.
He chuckled lightly as she buried her face into his back. Now that he had more of an open mind towards her, he found her company to be enjoyable. Andie too found herself opening up more to Berenor. He wasn't so hard to talk to once you got past his gruffly grim ranger exterior.
"There is one more thing I wish to discuss with you." He said, returning to his grim self again.
"Yes?" She answered, peering up at him curiously.
"You placed yourself in danger far too many times last night." He admonished.
"I know..." she said dejectedly.
"I must also thank you for your actions. You showed great courage and saved my life. Where I had doubts there is none now. I underestimated you. You have my sword, I will protect you with my life." He spoke wholeheartedly, looking at her to convey his heartfelt promise.
She felt so tiny under his gaze. "Gosh, are you all this intense?"
"What do you mean?"
"You and Idhrenor speak so alike. So serious and grumpy."
He scoffed. "I am not grumpy."
"Pfft! Sure." She laughed.
"I promised to protect you with my life and I am thanked by being made fun of." Berenor spoke in mock anger.
"No! I didn't mean—" She trailed off at the sight of a growing smirk on his face.
"Wait.. you're joking!?"
"I told you I am not a grump."
She stared at him dumbfounded only to smile widely at him."Thank you."
"Why do you thank me?"
"For giving me a chance."
The day passed by without a hitch, there was no sign of Rhys or any other threat to Andie. Even though it appeared to be safe, neither Gandalf nor the rangers lowered their guard. It mortified her greatly when both Idhrenor and Berenor insisted she be escorted for each bathroom break, both agreeing she shouldn't be left alone. She was grateful for their concern but in dire need of privacy. Her Westron lesson continued with Berenor that day. They practiced the entire day and she was glad for the distraction.
Soon it would be dark and all but Andie and Remlas remained at the camp, the two of them finishing setting up for the night. Remlas had insisted Idhrenor accompany Berenor as he hunted for food, saying he was the most skilled with a bow among them. He couldn't fool his brother though, Idhrenor seeing right through the compliment as a attempt to get him to smooth things out with Berenor. Remlas also intended to take the opportunity to have a heart to heart with Andie for there was much on his mind. She sat by the fire, staring into the flame absentmindedly as Remlas busied him around the camp. She didn't notice when he sat beside her until he nudged her with his elbow.
"Miss Andie?"
"Huh?" She answered.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine." She said with a small smile.
"Your Westron is improving." He complimented.
At this her smile grew. "Thank you. I'm happy I can talk to you all now."
"You've come a long way Miss Andie."
"Andie. Just call me Andie."
He nodded at her request. "Berenor told us of your courage. You saved his life and for that you have my gratitude."
Her smile faltered. She wasn't proud of hitting someone with a branch. She was horrified when Rhys fell to the ground. Her mind was so focused on saving Berenor that when she realized what she had done she was overwhelmed with emotions. She wasn't even sure if she had killed the man or just knocked him out. The thought of taking a life made her feel extremely sick and the thought of Berenor dying made her feel equally ill.
"Something troubles you" Remlas commented, sensing her discomfort.
"No... Yes." She sighed.
"Do you wish to talk about it?"
She thought on his offer, people didn't usually ask to hear her out. She was so used to keeping everything pent up inside that she could help but hesitate at his offer. Back home it was hard for her to trust people with her thoughts. She was reminded of the instances where family and "friends" used what she told them in confidence against her. But did she have to worry about that with him? He had always been so kind and had never mistreated her. Idhrenor had told her many times that she could trust them all and she was decided, on Idhrenor word she believed she could trust him.
"You all keep thanking me.. but I don't feel like I should be thanked." She opened up, speaking just above a whisper.
"May I ask why?"
"I hurt a man." She said ashamed.
"You hurt a man who kidnapped you. One who may have harmed you if given the chance." He reminded her.
"He wasn't.. He didn't hurt me. He was careful.. it was weird."
"Weird?"
"He protected me from the other two men. I'm not saying he was a good guy. He kidnapped me.. but I hit him with a branch and he didn't.. he just fell. He wasn't moving. Oh gosh, did I kill him?" She asked him on the verge of tears.
The entire day she fought back hard the thoughts of her nightmare and the memory of the sound of the sickening thud when Rhys fell to the ground motionless. Both thoughts were heavy on her mind and anytime she allowed herself to reflect on either she ended up with the same conclusion each time, she was a horrible person. It had surprised Berenor with how talkative she was with him today, talking more than he'd ever seen her do with his brother. The reason behind it was simple; guilt, remorse, and fear all bottled up into one raging storm within her entire being.
"Lass, you have no reason to feel this way." He comforted, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek.
"But... I've never done that before. I was so scared and Berenor was in trouble. I just wanted to help him and now I've killed someone. How does that even work here? Am I in trouble? I feel so horrible." she vented, unable to finish her sentence.
"Andie, peace. You've killed no one. You're kidnapper is still alive, it is the reason why we've kept you so close at all times. You've done nothing wrong."
"Are you sure?" She sniffled, wiping at her eyes.
"Yes. Do not shed any more tears my lady. You are safe now, you have my word. I will protect you with my life, if need be." He reassured her, his hand moving over to his heart as he bowed to her in vow.
She sniffled again, using her cloak to dry her face. "Berenor said the same thing to me earlier.."
"I would expect no less of my brother. You've impressed him greatly and that's no easy feat." He spoke with a smile.
"Brother? You're all related?"
"Aye, though not by blood. We are brothers nonetheless, inseparable." He explained.
"So brothers like close friends?"
"No. Our father's had fallen when we were young lads. It was Idhrenor's uncle who took us in as his own. We became his sons, a family bonded by choice and we have been by each other's side ever since. Where they go I will follow, forever, without regret and it is the same for them."
"Oh.. I'm sorry for your lost." She said, squeezing his hand in condolence.
He didn't pull away from her, instead he brought her hand up to his lips and lightly kiss the back of her hand. "No need for apologizes lass. It was a long time ago and I've made peace with my lost. "
'He is nothing like Idhrenor or Berenor.' She thought to herself, her cheeks turning a light hue of pink.
"Do you still feel horrible about your actions?"
"Yes, how can I not feel bad about that? I hit someone with a branch. He could've died.." She answered truthfully.
"Andie you are no criminal, that man is. You merely defended yourself and saved the life of another. You've done nothing wrong." He said with a small laugh.
"It's not funny." She shoved him playfully.
"I've never been in a fight before.. I've been trying not to think about it and I guess when you offered to talk, well it just all came out." She said gloomy.
"I see.. is there anything else troubling you? It helps to talk about things heavy on the mind." He offered, picking up on he sadden state.
Her gaze turned to the campfire, staring into the flames with tired eyes. "I dreamt of Berenor.."
"He's grown on you, hasn't he? He can be a bit of a grump but deep down he is a good man." Remlas commented.
A small laugh escaped her lips. "I've noticed."
"What happened in your dream?"
"I— I was reliving what happened in the forest... Berenor was fighting that man and I did nothing.. I was helpless.. useless.. and Berenor died." She spoke the final part in a whisper, fidgeting with her hands.
"Lass, it was but a dream. A manifestation of your fears. I may not know exactly what you may be feeling, being far from your world and home. I have no doubt that this is all very hard for you. It is understandable if you feel helpless or useless but you must know that you are more than your fears." He said, sympathetically.
"I hope it's not too bold of me to say but the woman I see before me is anything but helpless or useless. I do believe Berenor and I are now beginning to see exactly what Idhrenor has seen in you the moment he met you. Though it may take Berenor some time to be completely at ease with you." He spoke truthfully.
He was caught off guard by Andie's sudden embrace and unlike Idhrenor, he was quick to return the hug, laughing heartily as he did so. "Thank you Remlas."
"I only spoke the truth." He replied, retrieving a small object from his pocket when they pulled apart.
"Do you remember the day we left Bree? You and I were waiting at the Inn for the others?"
"Yes?" She answered, peaking at his hands with curiosity.
"You were watching a dwarf out in the courtyard.. he left you a token. I did not know what to think of it at the time. I worried it was a message and you were taking us all for fools... I know better now." He continued on, turning the wooden object in his hand.
"What is it?" She asked, scooting closer to him for a better look.
They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, he did not mind and her curiosity was far too peaked for her to noticed their close proximity. He placed the object into her hand and watched her as she examined it.
"It's a..." she struggle for the name of the animal in Westron.
"Bear" he said, finishing her sentence.
"Bear?" She repeated after him.
"Aye, a carved figurine of the animal."
It was about the size of half her pinky and light brown in color. Every inch of the figurine was beautifully detailed, the craftsmanship superb. The curve of each angle was smooth and the features were so realistic.
"It's..oh what's the word.. beautiful." She struggled before switching to English.
"What is it you mean to say?" He asked intrigued by her native tongue.
"You haven't taught me the way to say it yet.. it's what you call something that is umm.. good-looking? Uhh.. nice? Like the sunset." She explained.
"Beautiful" he said in Westron, understanding what she meant.
"You mean what a man would could a woman he loves, beautiful. This is how you say it in your language?" He asked thoughtfully, thinking on the word she spoke.
"Yes. Beautiful in English."
"Eng-lish?" He repeated, sounding out the word.
"Mmhmm." She replied, continuing to admire the bear figurine.
"How was it again?"
"Beautiful?" She said in westron.
He grinned at her fluency with the new word. "Yes, but in the tongue of your world." She smiled softly at him, she was growing quite fond of the way they spoke.
"Beautiful" she spoke clearly in English.
"Be-oo-ti-fuh-ul." She sounded out phonetically for him.
"Be-oo-ti-ful" he said confidently.
"Yes! You got it!" She praised him, bouncing in her seat happily.
He smirked smugly at his small accomplishment, perhaps he would ask her to teach him more of her language. She handed him back the bear but he didn't accept it, shaking his head no as he refused the object. "It was meant for you."
"What do you mean?"
"I only held onto it because I was unsure of what it meant. It may very well be a coincidence but the bear suits you." He said, motioning to the figurine.
"It does?"
"Bears represent courage and strength, among many things... both characteristics you believe you fall short of. You are more than you fear Andie, do well to remember that."
He would be the third person to tell her to value herself more and now she had a momento to remind her of that. Thinking on all they had talked about, one question popped up in her mind.
"Remlas?"
"Yes?"
"Did you say Dwarf?"
His lips pressed tightly together in annoyance, his brother was getting on his nerves. Berenor wished to speak about Andie, and he was in no mood to talk. He walked up to his catch, a decent sized rabbit, and pulled his arrow out of the animal's limp body. This made two, he only needed one more before he could return to camp.
"Very well. You may ignore me all you want, I will speak regardless." Berenor said in a brusque tone.
He didn't wait for any acknowledgment and knew he would get none. "I am at fault for Andie's capture. I am sorry brother, I allowed my temper to get the best of me and I ask for your forgiveness."
Idhrenor stopped in his tracks. Were his ears deceiving him? It was common for both he and Berenor to argue constantly but it was rare for Berenor to admit he was wrong. Idhrenor stood in place, his back still facing his brother, waiting for him to continue. At the sight of Idhrenor lowering his bow to his side, Berenor took this mean he was listening.
"I am sorry for not allowing you to explain yourself, it was unbecoming of me. If you wish to tell me now I will listen with no judgment."
"You will not interrupt?"
"You have my word." He promised genuinely.
Straightening his posture, Idhrenor turned to face his brother, mirroring Berenor's stern expression. "I've already told you she does not remind me of Avaron or Rharon. You and Remlas... I am blessed to call you both my brothers, though I am not deserving of either of you. I cannot undo the past... it is my burden to live with. You and Remlas have tried to convince me to return to the life we once knew but I cannot."
Berenor listened quietly, his heart aching from hearing his brother speaking ill of himself. He clenched his fists in frustration but still he remained silent, he had given his word and he would keep it. Idhrenor sighed. It wasn't easy for him to express himself to Berenor but now he had the chance to speak his mind and he wouldn't waste it.
"I see myself in her.. you said she and I are nothing alike. You called her weak but where you see weakness, I see strength. She is like me, lost, and each day I watch her fight against hopelessness, fear, and doubt just to find her way back home. You think I do not miss Uncle? Our home? Our family? How am I suppose to face him or mother after what I've done?! I am lost Berenor. Home is lost to me and I can never return.. I do not wish that fate for Andie.."
"I've seen that same fear in her eyes before in my own, many years ago. The fear of being displaced, of losing everything. I've accepted my fate, there is nothing I can do to atone for their deaths but resigning myself to saving any many lives as I can is a start."
"This explains why you are so concern with her fate.. but I am curious to know if there is another reason." Berenor questioned carefully.
"I know not what you mean."
"Brother there is no need to hide anything from me. Where you go, I will follow, forever. It is the promise we each made to each other since we were lads."
"Speak plainly." He said, his patience wearing thin.
"Is there something between you and Andie?" Berenor blatantly asked.
"No." He answered curtly.
"You do not fancy her?" Berenor asked again.
"Why do you ask? Is it because you wish her to be your woman?"
Berenor raise a brow at Idhrenor's accusation, highly aware of the challenge in his question. He had touched a sensitive topic, if only Remlas were here to defuse the situation.
"Do you not hear yourself? Why do you not simply answer the question?"
"I can ask the same of you." He retorted.
Berenor pinched his nose in exasperation, "I do not wish to fight or argue Idhrenor."
"Then let us not speak of this anymore."
"Do you not trust me? Am I not your brother?"
Idhrenor turned away from Berenor, looking up to moonlit sky. "I feel more at peace around her than I have felt since that horrible day. She is different. Different than the others we have aided. Each person we've saved and help never show any concern for us. We are never thanked and avoided at all cost. For a long time I preferred it that way, being invisible. But now everything is different."
"Different? Different how?" Berenor questioned.
"I could care less if I never receive another thank you or appreciation from anyone we rescue ever again. It only matters that she sees me.. Too long have I felt asleep and gone. She has called me friend and I feel as if there is hope for me yet.." Idhrenor continued on.
"Idhrenor.." Berenor said, lost for words. His brother was falling for this traveler from another world and he was clueless to his own emotions.
"We are friends Berenor. That is all. You know me well, I have no interest beyond that. Can we be done with this talk?" Idhrenor said as he picked up his bow, searching for one last rabbit.
He took aim at a unsuspecting rabbit before releasing an arrow, skillfully meeting his mark. Berenor didn't speak a word, contemplating on all Idhrenor had said. His views on Andie had shifted, he no longer saw her as he did, but still he did not approve of their growing bond.
'This can only end in heart break.' He thought to himself, trailing behind Idhrenor as they made their way back to camp.
He sighed loudly, holding the back of his head tight, waiting for the throbbing headache to dissipate. There was no time for rest, he couldn't fail Cyril. The Wizard complicated things... the wizard.. Gandalf. He snorted at his predicament and how far he had fallen from the honorable solider he once was. He adjusted his position on the ground were he laid low, bringing a pair of binoculars up to his eye line, blending within the cover of the local plant life.
He scanned the campsite a good distance away, ready to seize any opportunity to steal her. He would have to resort to stealth and time was not on his side. It was clear where they were headed, Rivendell, the last place he felt like a decent person.
Sitting near the campfire, he could see his target conversing with one of her protectors. He turned up the magnification on his gear and took note that this was not the same man he fought a day before. He pulled away the binoculars from his eyes and groaned in pain. Tenderly rubbing the back of his head, he closed his eyes and flared his nostrils as he waited for his headache to lessen.
'Woman got me good.' He thought to himself.
It did him no good to push himself, it slower his rate of healing. It would take just one more day until he fully recovered, most wounds he obtained generally took two to three days to heal. The ring on his hand saw to it, a gift from Cyril, proof of their partnership and his commitment to returning them home. It had been 186 years since he joined Cyril's mission and each year was more miserable than the last.
He missed his wife, Luanne. He missed his daughters, Eliza and Lori. He couldn't remember the sound of their voices anymore and they no longer visited him in his dreams. It was Cyril's promise that kept him sane but most days he felt like he was hanging on by a thread. Cyril assured him they were close this time. He didn't fully understand how bringing Cyril's dead wife to Middle Earth guaranteed their passage back home and he had his doubts. It wouldn't be the first time he was used or taken advantaged by him and like a fool he always returned. How could he walk away? All he had gone through would then have been for nothing.
'Focus!'
Looking through the binoculars again, he saw two other men joining his target near the fire. He continued to look on, searching for habits or openings he could exploit, when he saw one of the men guiding her away from the other two. He scoffed, this was not her so called husband. Watching the group closely, he found the man who would've lost his life if Alice didn't interfere. He was skinning some small critters, preparing food it seemed. Rhys noticed how this man would glance in Alice's direction constantly and sometimes his gaze would linger.
'Did I grab the wrong woman?' He wondered.
'No. She matches the photo.'
Looking to Alice once more he saw her being cared for by the one of her guards. Her foot was in his lap as he cleaned and bandaged it.
'She's injured.' He noted.
'She trusts them.. him especially.'
The snapping of a twig caught his attention and he stilled immediately, becoming like stone on the ground. A few feet away stood Gandalf, his old friend. They were enemies now, he supposed, though he was still quite fond of the wizard. Gandalf stood tall, his head turning slowly as he canvassed the area. His heart nearly stopped when Gandalf's eyes stayed on the bush he was hiding in. His intense stare amplified the thumping of his heartbeat drumming in his ears. He didn't want to fight his old friend, he had every intention of stealing Alice away right from under their noses, avoiding battle all together. He had no quarrel with them, he just wanted to go home.
The wizard muttered something under his breath, perhaps a spell? Rhys would have to be patient, he was no ordinary foe. Gandalf pulled out a pipe and lit it with his finger, enjoying a moment for a smoke. A few minutes later a small moth landed on top his staff and Rhys watched with intrigue as Gandalf whispered closely to the tiny insect. When it flew off into the night Gandalf departed to join the others by the fire. It was then that Rhys silently released the breath he was holding in.
"Luanne.. what am I going to do.." He whispered, another round of throbbing pain settling in.
This was all just a means to the end, all to be reunited with his love and his girls. Alice or not, Cyril wanted her and that meant she had no choice. She too was a means to the end.
A/N: Hello everyone. It took me awhile to write this one but I did figure out some things for future chapters. Just a friendly reminder the pairing for this story is not set yet, even with the direction I choose to go with Idhrenor. There was so much I wanted to include in this chapter but I decided to leave somethings for the next chapter. I don't think I'll be able to post the next chapter before New Years but I will definitely try :)
I hope I've answered some of your questions. Was Bifur's gift what you expected? Do you have any thoughts on her heart to heart conversations with all three rangers? What about Rhys? Thoughts on the chapter in general?
A big thank you to Mandarina who has kindly helped me correct latin sentences in my previous chapters. I will be working on correcting those translations in the coming days in updating those chapters.
I want to thank you all for reading my story and for all the reviews and messages! Thank you to Lifetimesupply, Veloxi, NightyNight, MiradCastle, Ipsycb, Lucefatale, Kumikokoda7, TheAngelthatfellfromHeaven, angel0fdestiny, JojoRiot, Sama-Bama, valar did me wrong, PureAngelEyes, Sidlynn, 97 for the follows and favorites! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy Holidays! :D
Disclaimer:
Everything belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien except my OCs and the unrecognizable parts of the plot.