During the walk home, Danny started trying to think of ways to make Phantom feel better. His thought process stopped dead in its tracks when he realised he shouldn't be trying to make him feel anything. If what Phantom said was true, then he was finally in control of his own thoughts and feelings. Even after they split, everything Phantom was experiencing he was doing it through the mind set that he wasn't his own person. How dare Danny want to take that independence from him? Just because he couldn't stand seeing the ghost so upset didn't give him the right to control him.
Arriving home and seeing his parents work on their latest invention designed to harm ghosts did nothing to alleviate his guilt. With a sickening realisation, it dawned on him that he had been forcing Phantom to live with people that sought to painfully destroy him, and hear about their plans for what they'd do if they finally caught him on a daily basis. Danny in his arrogance had dismissed any fears that he- they had been feeling, reassuring himself that they'd never actually hurt him because he was their son. But Phantom isn't their son. If they caught him, nothing would stop them from hurting him. Finally noticing his presence, his parents eyes snapped to him and broke into excited smiles. He could tell they wanted to explain whatever their invention did to him, and suddenly he couldn't stand to be in the same room as them. He wouldn't make Phantom have to hear any more threats from them. Giving a non-committal sound, Danny strafed and basically ran up the stairs, ignoring the noises of disappointment and confusion from his mother and father.
Once safe in their room, Danny locked the door before leaning on it and sighing. The time it took for Phantom to drop his invisibility was painfully long, even though it was probably only ten seconds at most. But then there he was, his beautiful indigo face flashing into visibility wearing an uncomfortable expression to match his awkward, withdrawn body language. He looked like he was waiting for Danny to say something, and he seemed nervous. A pit of dread expanded in Danny's stomach. It really looked like Phantom was waiting for instructions that he wasn't going to like. Danny felt dizzy again as his body heated up drastically. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Phantom, bury his face into his cool neck, and stay like that until he felt better.
"I… need a shower." Danny stated softly, before quickly darting out of the bedroom again and closing the door between them. As much as he wanted to be comforted by Phantom's touch, he couldn't use him like that. Not after knowing that he'd been using him for years. Not after seeing how uncomfortable the ghost was. If he had tried to touch him while he was in that state, he might have made Phantom panic and run away.
Maybe Phantom would be better off if he left?
Danny felt sick at the thought. It made sense, considering that staying under the same roof as the ones who want to harm him the most was dangerous. But as much as Danny wanted to protect Phantom, he hated the idea of him leaving. Danny growled at his own selfishness before staggering his way to the bathroom. If he couldn't have Phantom's touch, a cold shower would have to do.
Clumsily, he tugged off every item of clothing, only feeling a slight relief from the cool air hitting his skin. He climbed into the shower and turned the cold handle up full blast. The cold water felt good, and if he didn't know any better he'd have thought his skin had hissed with steam as the water hit him like a damn cartoon character. It still wasn't cold enough. It certainly wasn't gentle like Phantom's touch. But Danny didn't deserve gentle. He was a selfish human that had been binding a ghost to him so he could play superhero. It was clear from the way that Phantom reverted to his true face the instant he realised the truth that the ghost wanted nothing to do with him. Danny groaned with shame, before shifting his focus onto cleaning himself, as if scrubbing the outside would get rid of the guilt within.
Phantom had never felt more uncomfortable in his life, if he could still call it that. Before this afternoon, this was his room. Now, it wasn't. Did he need permission to touch anything? If he left for a bit would he need permission to come back in? If he didn't get permission, would he need to find somewhere else to live? The idea of Danny telling him to leave made him feel nauseated. Now that the human knew he wasn't supposed to be there, how long would it take for him to suggest him finding his own place to stay? Phantom fought back a shiver as the ice in his core pulsed anxiously.
"I… need a shower." Danny's soft voice cutting through the silence snapped Phantom's attention to him, only to see the boy rush out of the room and shut the door between them suddenly. It was a clear indication not to follow him, if any. The growl he heard through the wall made him even more nervous. Scared to move an inch from the spot he hovered over, Phantom stared at the wall that separated Danny's bedroom from the bathroom. As much as he wanted to give Danny his privacy, he wanted to make sure he was okay. He'd almost convinced himself to leave it be when the groan from the bathroom threw that self control out the window.
He zoomed over to the wall, quickly becoming invisible once more as he phased into the bathroom, just in case it was a false alarm. Sure enough, Danny didn't seem to be hurt or in any danger as he scrubbed his body soap over his chest. Judging by the distressed look on Danny's face, the groan must have been from anger. Although, as Phantom watched the human scrub furiously at his skin as the steam from what must be very hot water radiated off of him, he realised that it was probably out of disgust. After all, not many people would feel very good about finding out an undead stranger had been inhabiting your body for years. Still, even though he understood why Danny was feeling that way, he wished he would be gentler on his skin. If it were up to Phantom, he'd tend to Danny with the utmost care. If it were his hands cleaning that body, they would caress gently as they spread over every divot and curve. He would relish in Danny's warmth as he slid his arms around his waist and pressed loving kisses into his neck –
Phantom's eyes widened, both from realising where his line of thought was going, and from noticing the strain from his groin. Sure enough, the tentative touch to his crotch and the subsequent jolt of sensation told him everything he needed to know. He'd gotten an erection from watching Danny in the shower. Panicking, Phantom backed out of the bathroom and back into Danny's bedroom. He couldn't be hard when Danny got back from the shower. He was already disgusted enough by Phantom, they didn't need to add Phantom's sexual deviancy to make it any worse. Running out of time to come up with another way to calm himself down, he anxiously resigned himself to relieve himself the traditional way.
He scrambled for the zip at the back of his suit before peeling the top half of the suit off, blanching at the site of his alien-like skin. He didn't know when he had reverted, but he figured it was just as well. No point pretending he wasn't some monster, after all. Closing his eyes, he snaked a hand down his body until he found his shaft, letting out a sharp sigh of relief that he still felt normal down there. He refused to look, though. He'd much rather picture that it still looked like how Danny did down there. It didn't take long for him to figure out that imagining he was Danny hurt too much, so he quickly switched to imagining that he was touching Danny and Danny was touching him instead. He visualised the human naked in front of him, one arm clinging to Phantom's back, the other around his shaft, tending to it firmly, yet thoughtfully. Phantom imagined Danny leaning in to him, warm lips brushing along his neck.
"I love you, Phantom."
The ghost gasped at his sudden release, eyes blowing wide open with surprise. Was that how pathetic he'd become? One imagined sentence was all it took for him? Forcing himself to look down, he was relieved to see that at some point he'd managed to rotate into a less vertical position, so the amount of glowing fluid that he hadn't managed to catch had only landed on his stomach instead of all over Danny's wall or floor. His relief was promptly shut down when he realised he could hear footsteps heading towards the bedroom.
Shit! When did the shower turn off?
Phantom panicked, realising that he didn't have time to clean himself up and do his suit back up before Danny would open the door. As fast as he could without spilling anything, he grabbed the top blanket off the bed and wrapped it around himself, leaving only the head visible. As the doorknob turned, he dropped to the ground in the corner of the room, hoping to make it look like he hadn't been doing anything the entire time.
Despite the shower not being enough, Danny did feel like it had helped enough to give him the courage and clarity to return to his bedroom to talk to Phantom. Just because Danny was afraid of how Phantom might feel about him doesn't mean that he actually does. There was every chance that if he spoke to Phantom about it, the ghost would reassure him that he didn't want to leave and that he didn't feel trapped by him. As Danny wrapped himself in a towel, his confidence grew in thinking that Phantom would understand that if Danny had known that Phantom was another person, he would have given him all the freedom and control that he wanted.
Opening the door to his room, his optimistic hopes for a reassuring conversation crashed instantly. Phantom lay huddled in the far corner of the room, completely wrapped in their blanket with his back to the door. His stiff, uncomfortable posture screamed "do not talk to me".
"Phantom?" Danny called out to the ghost gently, needing to be sure. Slowly, Phantom rolled onto his back and peered over at him. It only lasted for a moment before the ghost faltered and winced, whipping his eyes away from Danny as his breathing became rapid and shallow and he squirmed with obvious discomfort. The human's heart broke at the sight. It appeared that his feared weren't unfounded after all.
Phantom fought back a groan. He was already stressed from the threat of Danny finding out that he'd been masturbating in his room, but then Danny had to make it worse by coming back in only wearing a towel again. It's like the human was trying to make him pop a boner so that he could catch him out. When Phantom heard Danny turn away and walk over to his closet, he rolled back over to face the wall. It was easier to avoid the temptation this way. In a short amount of time, he heard the human make his way over to the bed, followed by the creaking sound of the bed taking Danny's weight.
"I'm… I'm pretty tired after everything that happened today. I imagine you are too. You don't have to sleep on the floor. There's enough room on the bed –"
"No!" Phantom yelped, imagining letting go of the blanket and Danny seeing the results of what he had done. Would it be a look of horror or a look of disgust he'd get from the human? Was there even a difference? Phantom tightened his hold on the blanket, curling further into himself. He didn't deserve to sleep in a bed like a person. If he was going to act like an animal, he deserved to sleep on the floor like an animal.
"O-Oh. Okay then." Danny stammered out weakly, hoping the tone of his voice didn't reveal the way his throat was closing up as tears welled in his eyes. Apparently it did, as Phantom flinched before jolting up to look at him.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say it like that. I just… I just need some space and time to process everything. You know?" Phantom reassured, despite his expression remaining miserable.
"O-Of course. Take as much time as you need. I'll be right here if you need me." Danny replied sympathetically. Of course Phantom was upset and uncomfortable. He just found out that he wasn't who he thought he was. It should have been so obvious to him that the ghost would need time to himself to come to terms with that before he was ready to discuss how he felt about Danny. This was no time to be selfish. Phantom's grimace shifted to a softer, more wistful expression. His glowing eyes locked on to Danny's and the human felt transfixed.
God, how is he still so beautiful even when he's this sad?
"Thank you, Danny… and thank you for, you know, letting me stay." Phantom said shyly, eyes darting away nervously and breaking their hypnotic effect on Danny. The human boy shook his head briefly, snapping out of line of thought. Even though it was mentally easier to acknowledge that Phantom was physically attractive, knowing now that he wasn't just another version of himself, he still decided it would be inappropriate to follow that line of thinking any further. There was no reason to suggest Phantom could ever be interested in him, so there was no point in entertaining the idea of having feelings for Phantom. Having successfully blocked off the thought, Danny finally absorbed what Phantom had said.
"Letting you stay? Phantom, I would never make you leave." Danny promised with determination. The idea almost made him laugh. Here he was worried that he was trapping Phantom, all while Phantom was worried that Danny would ask him to leave. A weak smile made its way to Phantom's lips, not quite reaching his eyes. There was clearly something else that was bothering him, but Danny wasn't sure if he should try to help with it or not.
"Good night, Danny." The ghost spoke softly. Taking the hint that he didn't want to talk about his reaction, Danny gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile to the other boy.
"Good night, Phantom."
After what felt like forever, Phantom finally heard Danny's breathing slow down and even out enough to indicate that the boy had fallen asleep. Silently, he floated up from the ground and phased his way invisibly through the walls of the house until he found himself in the laundry room. He and Danny had gone to bed pretty early, so he had to be extremely careful not to alert the rest of the household to his presence. He made his way over to the machine that was designated for ectoplasm contaminated items and dumped the blanket in. Looking down at where he'd splattered onto his suit, he frowned before peeling it the rest of the way off along with the boxer briefs underneath that he assumed he'd also messed up. He quickly tossed the briefs in the machine, but when it came to the suit, he hesitated. He'd never taken it off before, not all the way. He felt horribly naked, more than he'd ever felt when he'd been fused with Danny. Maybe it was because the suit was that last piece of Danny that was on him. It had been Danny's suit before the accident, and was still technically Danny's now. Removing everything that belonged to Danny had left Phantom entirely bare. With terrifying dread, it dawned on him that there was absolutely nothing in the world that was truly his own. Not his friendships, not his bond with Jazz, not anything in his life for the past four years. Danny had shared all of that with him, but not knowingly. With a sigh, he dropped the suit into the machine, adding the anti-ecto detergent before turning it on.
Next thing he needed to do was clean the dried spunk off of his body. He made his way to the bathroom, racing past the mirror to avoid even a fleeting glance at his appearance, even though all he could see of himself whenever he was invisible was a faint image anyway. He ran the water until it was hot before getting in, revelling in the feel of its warmth. A thought occurring to him made him chuckle.
This is my first ever solo shower.
Now that he thought about it, they'd never showered in their "Phantom" form before at all. Anything that had gotten onto the suit before was just gone the next time they transformed, and if they'd stunk at all they'd just transform back to their "Danny" form to clean themselves. Now that he didn't had a human form, would he still get greasy hair or body odour? If he stayed naked and Danny tried to transform, would the suit reappear or would they just be naked? The laughter died in his throat as his line of thought darkened. If they transformed, would Phantom still be in control, or would Danny be less willing to give up the pilot seat now that he knows Phantom isn't just him? Would Danny never transform again to avoid fusing with a ghost? Would Phantom never get to feel human again? Absentmindedly, he reached for Danny's body wash and popped it open. The smell hitting his nose stopped him dead in his tracks. It smelled like Danny. He didn't realise it would be so comforting. He poured a liberal amount into his free hand and began lathering it over his body. With the hot water heating up his hands, he could almost imagine it was Danny who was touching him.
Shaking his head, he snapped himself out of it. Danny had only been okay with being so touchy with him before because he assumed that he was a part of Danny that was missing his own body. Now that he was essentially a stranger, there was no point in even letting himself fantasize about that continuing. It would only make him long for it more. Once he was satisfied that he'd rinsed himself sufficiently, he turned off the shower and towelled himself off. He could still hear the washing machine going, but even if it would be done soon the suit would still need to be dried, so he figured he'd borrow something off of Danny. The human was so kind, understanding, and generous with him, surely if he were awake he'd offer for him to borrow something. Zipping into Danny's room, he pulled on a fresh set of briefs, some sweatpants, and an oversized hoodie. It was his favourite hoodie that he liked to wear when he needed comfort. At least, he wanted to believe that those feelings came from him. He didn't really have any way of knowing how many of the thoughts and feelings that he'd experienced over the last four years were ones he'd generated, and how many he'd just copied from Danny. It was too confusing, and felt like he needed a psychology degree to be able to unpack any of it. An imaginary light bulb switched on over his head. He certainly didn't have a psych degree, but he had quick access to someone who was studying to get one.
He floated into the bathroom and knocked on the shared wall, before waiting to get permission to enter. After too long a period of silence, he knocked a little louder. Still nothing. Sticking his head through the wall, he discovered that Jazz wasn't even in her room. It was strange; Jazz rarely went out, even on a Friday night. If she did it was usually a networking mixer that she used to get contacts in the field of psychology to bounce paper ideas off of to see if she was going in the right direction. But she hadn't mentioned anything about one of those coming up, so where was she?
Hearing a car pull up outside the front of the house, Phantom flew back through the wall to Danny's room where he could look out the window onto the street. A man who looked to be in his early twenties but was dressed like he was in his forties was getting out of the driver's side of an extremely average looking car. He darted around the car to quickly open the passenger side, surprising Phantom to see Jazz climbing out with a big grin on her face. It looked like she said something teasing to him, to which he replied with a jokingly dramatic bow, which won a giggle out of Jazz. Phantom watched slack-jawed. He'd never seen Jazz act like that before, even when Johnny 13 had been hoodwinking her. She didn't just look like she was interested in this guy, it looked like she was actually having fun with him. Once they reached the front door, he could hear the conversation.
"So, this is me. A little embarrassing with the big glowing sign, I know." Jazz sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. The guy shrugged.
"Eh, who doesn't have an embarrassing family? At least I know I'll never get lost on my way to pick you up on future dates." He replied. Jazz's eyes widened with surprise.
"Y-You want to go on more dates with me?" She asked. Phantom frowned. He didn't understand why Jazz thought this guy wouldn't want to see her again. The man rubbed the back of his neck, now more nervous than she'd been before.
"Sorry, that was presumptuous of me. I just had such a good time with you tonight, I got caught up imagining the next fifty dates I want to take you on that I forgot that you'd have to agree to go on them. Oh god, I'm making it worse, aren't I?" He rambled. Jazz giggled again, taking his hand from his neck and holding it in both of hers.
"David, I would love to go on another date with you. Just promise to let me plan some of the next fifty dates we go on, okay?" She reassured fondly, winning an elated grin from David. Leaning up to him, Jazz pressed a short and sweet kiss into his cheek, before letting go of his hand and opening the door.
"Goodnight, David. I'll talk to you tomorrow?" She farewelled from the doorway. He nodded silently, seeming to be a little stunned by the kiss. Once Jazz shut the door, he turned away and pumped a fist victoriously into the air. Phantom snorted as he watched him, before realising that now that Jazz was home, he could finally talk to her. He phased into the hallway right as she reached the door to her bedroom. The sight of him made her jump with surprise.
"Oh! Sorry Phantom, I'm so used to seeing you in the suit for a second I thought you were a ghost burglar or something. What's up?" Jazz laughed with relief. Phantom hesitated, not sure if it was a good idea to bring up his problems. She was in such a good mood and was having fun for once. She'd been listening to his problems for the past four years, she deserved to feel normal for one night.
"So… are you going to tell me about your date with David?" He said in a teasing voice, edging closer to her with a smirk on his face. Jazz rolled her eyes, but didn't stop smiling.
"It was wonderful, Phantom. He took me to his favourite pub and we talked for hours about emerging theories. His study focus is on Behaviourism, so it's really interesting to hear his perspective on ghost psychology." She described, opening her bedroom door and gesturing for him to follow her into her room.
"Wait, you were talking to him about ghost psychology on date one?" He questioned. As far as he was aware, Jazz usually avoided bringing up ghosts around people she didn't know very well, lest they bring up "those crazy ghost hunting Fentons". Jazz dropped dramatically onto her bed.
"I know! I wasn't going to bring it up, but he did anyway. He was so excited when he heard Box Ghost was seen teaching a younger ghost how to haunt the mall. "It raises so many questions about the psychological development of ghosts and how society in the zone works!", he said. How could I not discuss my theories with him after that?" Jazz explained, gesticulating emphatically from her position of half lying on her bed. He was grateful for her choice of position, as it meant she couldn't see his flinch at the mention of the Box Ghost and his daughter. Suddenly, Jazz sat up with an excited look on her face.
"You want to know the best part? He listened to my theories! He found them interesting! He wanted to hear more about what I thought! Do you know how rare that is? Most guys I talk to are more interested in teaching me what they agree with, or go running for the hills when they learn what I want to write my paper on for my doctorate." She gushed. Phantom scoffed.
"Well, that just makes him sound like the only smart guy studying psychology if he's the only one who listens to you." He remarked. Jazz chuckled before sighing.
"Well, I'm beat after all that talking and smiling. I'm going to get ready for bed. Was there anything you wanted to talk to me about?" Jazz announced, giving him an open in case there was something on his mind. Phantom considered opening up as planned, but decided against it. At least for tonight.
"It's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. I'm glad you found such a great guy, Jazz. You deserve to have some fun in your life." He commented sincerely. The loving smile she gave him both soothed and hurt.
"Thank you. For that, and for listening. You're such a good brother to me, you know that right?" She complimented warmly. Suddenly, the feeling of a hand clenching at his core hit him again. For a moment there, he was just a boy having a normal conversation with his sister. But she wasn't really his sister. He wasn't the brother she thought he was, just an impostor who hadn't revealed his true nature to her yet. Once she found out who he really was, all that unconditional love would be right out the window. Sure, if she only knew he wasn't really Danny she might still want to help him, but what if she found out about the perverted thoughts he had about her baby brother? He forced a grin in response to what she'd said.
"I could always stand to hear it more." He said in a mock smug tone, before waving goodbye and phasing out of her room. Once he was out of her sight, his expression dropped. Out of his very limited inner circle, Jazz was probably going to be the hardest one to tell the truth to. After all, she was the one he stood to lose the most with, after Danny of course. If he lost Danny, he'd lose everything.