Can you hear my s.o.s. to you… my love?

Chapter 11

I love you

Her bat rests against the wall in her bedroom. The collection of marks and dents has been upgraded after the incident, disrupting its smooth surface. No matter. It can't be compared to the marks and dents that have been done to Edd's mental state. Ever since the incident he's been… off color. The usual glow he's emitting – even when he was being tormented by those fools – has faded to nothing, gray tones. True to his word however, he hasn't allowed himself to miss out on a single day of school, something Mel would argue would actually do him some good. He never listens.

Things have been a lot calmer at school ever since the incident. Or at least, so she's been told. With one week left of her suspension, she has momentarily hired Eddy to be her messenger, to inform her about the current status of the school. He demanded a fair payment, of course, and at the moment she'd pretty much do anything to ensure her brother safety – as she has proven already. That and she thought Eddy would demand a more costly payment. Just one jawbreaker… really? One of the best steals she's ever made – anyway;

Back at home things are more… quiet, than usual. Edd leaves for school, doesn't say goodbye. He comes home, doesn't call out to her. Perhaps her choice of how to handle the situation wasn't the best one. What's done is done, though. With a sigh escaping her she remains seated in the chair by the kitchen table. The clock on the wall tics, filling the silence some. She looks at it, ponders for a moment. What day is it again? Thursday? She's almost done with her detention; on Monday she'll be back.

The front door opens softly, she can barely hear it. Edd is home. He doesn't say anything, doesn't call out to her to announce his arrival, as always; since then. She can hear his feet tread on the floor, softly. An urge to rush out to him and grab him wraps a chain around her heart, but an even greater one is sealed within it, helping her fight against it. She remains where she is, sitting silently in the kitchen, waiting. He's made it clear that he doesn't want her to disturb him, avoiding her like the plague – like he did before. Only this time it isn't merely out of fear, but something else, something more. Exactly what, she doesn't know, though she has a feeling of what it might be. She doesn't blame him for feeling that way about her.

Soft footsteps lead up to the kitchen. They stop with a silent gasp. Looking up she catches his eyes. He's watching her, though the expression on his face reveals he didn't expect her to be there. Two can play the silent game. There's a battle in his eyes, she can see it; wide, glossy, pupils small and eyebrows in an unsteady frown. Trust her or not? A moment of silence passes by without an answer. She can wait. She won't mind. A fire ignites in his eyes. She's curious. He walks up to her, frown now steady; he's upset.

"Why?" He says. She doesn't respond, merely looks at him. "Why did you do that? I-I told you not to get involved and yet y-you-!" Closing his eyes hard she can see tears fight for freedom. Will he let them? "A-and on t-top of that- Eddy and Ed! Why did you bring them into the picture?! How was that going to help anyone?! It's- That's- irresponsible at best!" His grammars are incorrect, yet perfectly understandable.

Keeping her eyes locked with his for a moment, she eventually looks down on her hands on the table before her. She doesn't know how to answer him. It's true. It was irresponsible of her to drag in two minors into a situation such as that. Closing her eyes, she focuses on her breathing. Edd doesn't appreciate having to wait.

"Well?!" He snaps. "Are you going to answer? Do you even have an answer?!"

Well, when you put it like that… "No."

Surprise. He freezes for a moment, taking in the small word, the meaning behind it. His thoughts are floating around in his head; you can see it in his eyes. "What?" He doesn't know what to say – just like her. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I don't have an answer." She tries her best to keep her voice low on emotions as she opens her eyes and looks up at him again. "That's what I mean."

"But-!" He's to chocked, riled up, to see what she means. "B-but-! Why then?!" He's shaking; shaking from anger and confusion. He's angry… with her.

You can't keep him in the dark forever. "Love." Her voice is thin. Wow… truly pathetic.

He shakes his head. "No, do not think you can use that on-" She interrupts him.

"Love has an ability to affect a person… control them in various ways." He grows silent at her words, watches her as she looks out the window to her right. She's gone in her mind. "It can turn you into the most kind and gentle of souls this world has ever seen; someone you can trust without any hesitation." She's quiet for but a second or two before she turns back towards him, locks her gaze with his as she looks him in the eyes. There's a dark tone in her eyes now. "It can turn you into a monster… a living nightmare that doesn't care what happens to anyone around them as long as the one person they care about is safe. Whatever has to be done to save them… you'll do it. No questioning, no reasoning… irresponsibly. It can control you, will control you, and force you into doing things unimaginable just to reach the one goal; keep the one you love safe."

He's scared. She can see it in his eyes. The anger that was holding hands with his fear has left, the fear now standing alone.

"And sometimes…" She continues. "It can evolve into something else, something that reminds of love, but is in fact something… else. Something that is much more dangerous. Where you do not even care if the person of your affection loves or even cares for you back; you love them – that's all that matters, whether they like it or not. And you're not going to stop until you've convinced them to love you back… with or without violence."

The fear in his eyes grows. He's trying to find words to say, anything that may or may not be a logical respond to that answer. "But…" He tries. "But- why?" He's out of ideas.

She's silent for a moment, unsure what he's asking. He doesn't seem to even know what he's asking for himself. Just tell him the truth already. She shrugs. "I don't know. And I have no idea where I stand." True. "All I know is that the first time I saw you… I made a promise to myself that I would protect you; keep you safe… no matter what."

He looks at her in disbelief. "I don't believe you." He says, his tone growing colder again, the anger returning. "No. Not with the way it turned out – how we got everyone scared of you. No." He shakes his head at the memory, the memory of the moment they first met, stood before each other, eye to eye. The moment Ed screamed and everyone began to fear her. How they all still fear her. Shaking his head still he turns away, leaving her in the kitchen. "I don't believe you'd do something like that after a first introduction such as that."

Watching him leave the kitchen, she remains seated until the moment she knows he's headed upstairs and inside his bedroom. "That wasn't the first time I saw you." You can barely hear her.

Standing up she walks slowly up the stairs and towards her room. She casts one glance towards his before she closes the door behind her. One moment is all it takes for her to find the photo, the one thing her mother cared to give her when she still roamed the streets. His smile is big, genuine. He was happy then, unlike now. The same black beanie rests on his head in the picture while he's wearing a different shirt; a red or dark orange t-shirt by the looks of it. It makes sense why he isn't wearing it nowadays – in the middle of November.

A feeling of nostalgia wraps around her and brings her back to the moment she received the photo from her mother. She had somehow managed to reach out to her, find her, picked her up and momentarily brought her home. Silence had ruled the conversation as none of them were too eager to talk to one another. Movement had caught her attention, curios over what her mother was trying to get out of her purse. She had slid it over to her across the kitchen table without a word, not before she picked it up to see what the fuzz was about – curiosity taking over. She had no idea who the boy on the picture was, and for the moment she didn't really care. But then her mother had told her; she was getting married to a man who had a son. The boy on the picture was her new little brother. She was getting a new sibling. The thought had pierced through her mind, forced her to remember darker days she'd been forced to walk through hell in order to forget. History has a nasty habit of repeating itself, something she'd rather not be forced to witness again.

They had been curious about her whereabouts when she returned. When she ignored them they let her be, knowing well enough what she's capable off if ticked off. For a week she was tortured by an unexplained emotion. It took a week before she finally accepted reality, and then came the sudden need to keep the unknown boy safe. Safe from what? Everything. Even you? Especially me. They hadn't liked the way she tried to protect him after telling them about him. She had been angry at them for stopping her. She left them. Their parents got married. Here they are now.

A text message wakes her up from her memories. Amanda wonders if she'd like to play some BloodyTrapland live. Sure. She could use some distractions.

Edd tries his best to keep his focus on the homework for today. It's been incredibly hard to focus on school related matters ever since the incident with Mel happened. He just doesn't understand why she felt the need to go out and "help" him like that, even after he had told her 'no'. And with such violence on top of that! Doesn't she know he's a pacifist?! That violence doesn't solve anything?!

The situation at school has changed completely as well. Now that everyone knows he and Mel are siblings things have gotten… tense. Not tense like people are after him like earlier, but tense in the way that everywhere he goes, whatever he does, people are watching him. From afar or up close, people are always keeping an eye on him for whatever reason. Eddy, of course, enjoys the extra attention they're receiving, seeing it as a way in for them to become part of the "cool kids", like he's always wanted. Ed doesn't seem to have much to say about the current situation, other than that he seems to be a little bit more protective over Edd than he was earlier. Not drifting off in his own mind, often keeping an eye out to see if anyone is getting to close to either him or one of his smaller friends. Clearly he's been scarred in some way from the whole situation, not just by the event with Mel. The other kids from the cul-de-sac don't seem to know what to think or do anymore also. They keep their distance from them like they usually do; however, much like everyone else, Edd can feel them watch from a distance every now and then. It's getting to the point where it's ridiculous. Just why did Mel have to do the thing she did? And whilst being suspended! What if one of the teachers had seen her?! She would've had to look for a different school then, wouldn't she?

He buries his face in his hands, unable to focus on his homework. It's been like this for… ever since she attacked the jocks. Pushing his nails into the flesh of his face, he lets out a frustrated groan before slamming his hands on his desk, causing the objects on it to jump and shake from the impact. His eyes land on the skull. Looking at it for a while he remembers the moment he arrived home from school and found her laying in the grass in their yard. It's hard to think that the girl he found resting in their yard is the same one who attacked people in front of him, claiming it was for his protection. For goodness sake – she drew blood!

"It can turn you into a monster… a living nightmare…"

He looks down at his hands as he remembers the things she told him about love – things he didn't… didn't think could be related to such a feeling. Are they even true?He remembers all those times his parents used to say those three words to each other, the same three words his and Mel's mom and dad now say to each other; I love you. How can something like that, an emotion that's supposed to be beautiful, cause someone to become… a monster?

A vague memory appears in his mind. Something he read in a book about psychology; how some people who mean well will do things that seem horrible for the sake of someone they care about. Not because they want to be a bad person, but rather because they don't know how to be a good person, even if they try to be good. Could that be… could that be what happened with Mel? She keeps saying she wants to help and protect him and that she did what she did in order to protect him. Could it really be that simple? Did she think she did something good for his sake by attacking those people? He doesn't know… in all honesty he feels like he doesn't know anything anymore. It leaves an unnerving taste in his mouth, not knowing something. With a sigh he puts away his homework and brings out his notebook. Sometimes it helps to write about the things he feels frustrated over, and he hopes that it will help with this one. And so, with his pen in hand, he starts writing down his thoughts about everything that's happened.

'I still don't know what to think or how to feel about everything that's happened. It's almost as if we're back at square one where I believed she was dangerous, only this time I no longer think – I know! She has been very quiet as well ever since the attack, but then again so have I. On that one I guess I cannot blame her. She keeps going on and on about how she wants to protect me, and she even gave me a speech about how 'love' supposedly can turn you evil if you feel someone you care about is in danger. To this very moment I still remain clueless as to what is going on in her head. It's almost as if she is deliberately making herself into one of the greatest mysteries I've ever seen in my life.'

Taking a deep breath and resting his hand a little, he allows himself to think a little more over the situation before he continues.

'She did however say something interesting during her speech about love affecting people in different ways. Something about how love can evolve into something else, something that reminds of it but is apparently far worse – dangerous even. An emotion that will make you forget about the mutuality for the feelings you have for someone; make you unable to care whether the person of your interest feels the same about you or not. She even suggested that this certain feeling or emotion could render you to use violence to "convince" your special someone to feel the same about you. Whether she meant that you would use violence upon the person you're interested in or something else I'm not sure. I'm also not sure what emotion that would be, or how something like that could even be possible, however, I know better than to question it – especially after the attack I was made to witness.'

Pausing again, he ponders for a moment, thinking about what he just wrote…

'Now that I think about it, it almost sounds like whatever the Kanker sisters might be "feeling" towards Ed, Eddy and I. I might have to do some more research to find out just what this certain feeling is and just what it means to have someone feel that way about you. If what Mel did was because of love, then I certainly do not wish to know whatever level of violence this other emotion can cause someone to aim for just for the sake of getting the one they claim to "love", if that's even how this other emotion work.'

With that note he puts the pen down. Looking at the clock he realizes that time has moved much faster than he first thought. Scratching his eyes, he puts the notebook away and prepares for bed. Normally he would take a shower before bed, for the sake of hygiene, but he's not feeling up to it right now. He'll take a shower in the morning, if he has the energy for it.

It's dark in the house. The sun has set a long time ago, leaving the sky in the moon's hands; day and night in perfect harmony, both existing for the other. None of them more needed than the other – none of them more powerful than the other. They are different, but they go together.

Amanda ended the stream not too long ago, something Mel wasn't too upset about. It's been an odd day, and even if she might be on somewhat of a "vacation", she's really tired and need to go to bed soon. And so she had turned off her computer almost as soon as the stream ended, getting up from her seat and headed towards the bathroom to get ready for sleep. One glance towards Edd's room was enough to determine that he has already gone to bed and is probably already asleep. She pauses for a short moment before she heads inside the bathroom to get herself ready for bed. Though, she doesn't return to her bedroom immediately after she's done in there.

Silently she tips over the carpeted floor, slowly but steadily over to his door. She's not sure why, but there's a feeling in her guts telling her that she might want to check on him real quick – especially after the awkward conversation they had in the kitchen earlier today. Or, could it even be called a conversation? It almost felt like an interrogation between a criminal and the desperate victim.

Shaking her head at the thought, she carefully gets closer to the door. Once she's close enough she leans towards it to listen and see if she can hear anything from the other side of the door – just to be safe. Nothing. He's asleep. Killing a sigh of relief, she gently grabs the door handle and opens the door as quietly as she possibly can. She's glad that it is as dark as it is in the house; no light that streams inside his room is enough to wake him up. Still being as quiet as she possibly can, Mel treads across the floor slowly, carefully. She can hear his soft breathing in the dark, a pleasant difference from the unsteady breathing she heard from him the day that she found him. It had caused her an unbelievable pain in her chest from hearing it, a pain she's never felt before. She has felt something similar to it before, but not exactly like it.

Standing by his bed now, she kneels next to it and watches him sleep for a moment. There's an unusually calm expression on his face, something she's never seen before. Then again, she's never really felt the need to watch him sleep normally before – when he was beaten up, yes, but that was more like him being unconscious because he was attacked rather than him falling asleep because he was tired.

Sitting by his bed, she slowly reaches out for him, gently laying her hand on his head. No reaction. He's sound asleep. He deserves it. He deserves all the good things he can get in life. She takes a deep breath as she caresses his cheek for a small moment before she moves her hand to where his hat is. It's a different hat that he sleeps in, not his beanie. It makes sense. Her fingers make their way under it, strokes his hair that she rarely gets to see even a glimpse of. It's very soft, which is almost surprising with how he keeps it hidden all of the time, except for the small strands that escape at the base of his neck. She tries her best to be gentle with every movement, not wanting to accidentally cause him more harm than she already has. After a while she leans closer to him, rests her head right by his without making contact. She stops moving her hand, lets it stay where it is underneath his hat as she takes a moment to collect her thoughts in her broken mind. There's so much she wish to say to him, but she has no idea what words to use, or how to use them correctly for him to understand what she means. It's frustrating…

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "I promise I will do everything I can to keep you safe." She whispers, testing the waters with how loud she can allow herself to be. No reaction still. So far so good. "For you and you alone, I will muster all of my demons and destroy all of yours. For you and you alone, I will become the greatest monster mankind has ever witnessed, just to keep you safe. That is my promise to you." She moves her hand out of his hat to gently pet his cheek, rub circles with her thumb. Moving her head to look at him, watch his still peaceful facial expression as he slumbers. "I hope you will never know about it."

Song: I love you – Nerved, Anna Hanser (The Final Edit)

Wrote this chapter once. Didn't like it. It was too nice. Remade the chapter. It's darker now. I'm happy now. Then I decided to name it after a song they played in an old commercial about children living in warzones. Epic.

Also – the Kankers are about to appear in the story! YAYA!