Trigger Warning: The first part of this chapter depicts infant loss. Please read with caution.

Chapter 15

July 25, 2016

Chuck paced anxiously outside of the hospital room. It had hit him hard when Landry told him that she was pregnant. A baby was never in the cards for him; the day he left Blair in NYC was the day that he told himself he would never have a family or children. The night that she said those words - I'm pregnant - he'd gotten drunker than he had been in over three years. He eventually passed out in the bathroom and woke up to a killer hangover and a surge of unrelenting guilt. He had immediately gone to pick up flowers and a baby doppler, intent on apologizing for being such an asshole. He had impregnated her due to his own hastiness and then he had treated her like she was the one doing something wrong.

"Landry, I'm an ass. Please forgive me," He said as he knelt in front of her after handing her the flowers. "I got this for you," He added, pulling out the doppler, "We can't use it yet because it's still too early, but it will help us hear the baby's heartbeat. I will take care of both of you - I promise." He kissed her on the forehead and placed his hand over her still flat stomach.

She smiled at him sadly and replied, "You're going to be a wonderful father."

But now he realized that he had reneged on his promise. He and Landry had gotten into the stupidest argument over whether or not the baby would sleep in their room and if they would hire a night nanny. Landry wanted to do it all herself, but Chuck felt like help would be necessary so that she wouldn't be too tired. The argument escalated into Landry accusing Chuck of always having to be in control of the situation. She had yelled, "This is my child, too, and I would like a say in how she is raised. Thank you very much," as she quickly ran down the stairs to get away from him. As she reached the bottom four steps, her flats slipped on the slick surface of the stairs and she fell to the bottom, landing on her stomach.

Dr. Smythe approached Chuck with a rather grim expression on his face, "Ms. Fisher is out of surgery and is responsive. She'll be very sore, but she will make a full recovery. We will need to keep her overnight for observations."

Chuck nodded, "And the baby?"

The doctor simply shook his head sympathetically, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but with a fall that hard at 23 weeks…"

The doctor's words started to go fuzzy in Chuck's ears, and he could no longer make out the meaning behind them. He gripped the seat next to him and stared out the window over the doctor's shoulder. The past four months flashed through his mind.

Finding out the sex:

"Congratulations! You're having a girl!" The sonographer smiled at them. A girl, Chuck thought. A baby girl. She'll be beautiful like her mother, and I will protect her with every fiber of my being.

Picking out her name:

"What about Everly Cate Bass? After both our mothers? Everly for Evelyn and Cate for Catherine?" Landry suggested, and Chuck felt his chest tighten as he thought about holding his sweet little bundle of perfection. My little Everly.

Preparing the nursery:

"You know we could just hire someone to do this for us," Chuck mused as he looked at all of the pieces to the crib strewn about the floor around them.

"But what fun would that be?" Landry responded, "This will be the room where our little girl grows up, and I want it to be created by the hands of her parents. It's a parental rite of passage."

Feeling her kick for the first time:

Landry raised her shirt and placed Chuck's hand to the right of her belly button, "You feel that? Those tiny little flutters?" He could only nod and place a reverent kiss to her belly, in awe that he had had even the smallest part in creating this tiny girl.

Now, none of it mattered. The precious little life that he had already come to love was just a memory. He sat down and swallowed hard. He felt the tears threatening to come, but he fought them with all his might. The only thing he could do now was be strong for Landry. Breaking down would help no one, so he drew a breath, wiped the corners of his eyes, and stood to make his way to her room.

When he walked in and saw her tear-streaked face, red and blotchy from crying, his resolve wavered, and he almost backed out of the room. I can't leave her like this. I did this to her. That thought had him making his way to her bed. He pulled a seat beside her and held her hand in his, gently kissing her knuckles, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," is all he could say over and over again.

The next several hours were both heartbreaking and therapeutic. They got to hold their daughter and say their final goodbyes. The nurses gave them little keepsake ornaments with Everly's footprints and handprints, and they tearfully elected to have their daughter cremated. Chuck eventually had her ashes made into a beautiful silver necklace with a simple heart pendant that had Everly's initials etched into the back for Landry. She had worn it every day since.

XOXO

September 3, 2019

When Landry returned to the suite that evening, she knew something was wrong. All of the lights were off and an empty scotch bottle sat on the counter. She made her way into Chuck's study where she saw him holding onto the ornament of Everly's little handprints. They very rarely talked about their daughter anymore, and Chuck often kept his grief private, even from her.

Seeing him in this moment, with his thumb brushing over the tiny imprint, her heart ached. She walked to him and placed her arms around his shoulder in a hug. He raised one hand to caress her forearm and softly said, "She would be turning three soon."

"You told Blair," It wasn't a question because she knew it the moment she saw him sitting alone in the dark.

"Yes," was his only response.

She took the ornament from his hand and gently placed it back into the box before pulling a chair closer to him and turning him to look at her. "What happened?"

"She said that you and I should stay married because we've been through so much together," She saw the sadness and defeat etched into his face. He continued, "She isn't wrong."

"Chuck, I'm going to say this with as much love as I can muster," She said as she pulled his hands into her own. "You are both finding excuses to stand in your own way because you're scared. Of course she's going to react this way. She's in love with you, and she's just found out that you have a wife and a daughter and this whole other life that she wasn't a part of. It scares her, and it intimidates her. I'm sure it also hurts her. How would you react if she had Louis's baby? Remember how out of control you were when you found out she was engaged? This is even more for her to process, and with less time than you had. You have to show her that you two belong together."

His jaw clenched when he thought about Blair carrying another man's child, and he could finally see the logic behind her response to his confession the night before. If she asked him if she should be with him or the father of her child, he was nearly positive that he would tell her that being with the father of her child couldn't be a mistake. He would think that was the most selfless response he could give her. Perhaps that was the same thing that Blair was doing for him. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Start by talking to her. Keep your hands to yourself, and have a real honest conversation. I know you, and I'm sure that you are having trouble not touching her, but you're never going to get anywhere until you talk."

Chuck smirked at her. When they were alone earlier, he had immediately started kissing her when he saw the absent engagement ring, when he probably should've talked to her instead. "You know me so well."

"Don't forget it," She said with a quick kiss to the forehead before leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

XOXO

September 4, 2019

Blair debated on going to Chuck's for the pre-meeting before Georgina shows up. She didn't want to see him or talk to him after their conversation the night before. It felt like he had pierced her straight through the heart. On one hand, her heart was breaking for the immense loss that Chuck and Landry had suffered; she couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain that infant loss brings. The pain that the two of them had suffered over such a short amount of time - Bart's death and the realization that he was actually alive, Landry's father's attack, the loss of the baby, the death of Landry's mother - it was all too much for two people to go through. In the smallest, quietest part of her brain, she was thankful that Chuck had someone like Landry to help him through all of his suffering.

The more selfish side of her, though, was hurt deeply that he had experienced all of these things with another woman. He had married another woman and gotten her pregnant. For a long time, she had allowed herself to think that that would be her role in his life. She had once dared to allow herself to dream about carrying his baby, picking out nursery colors, discussing names, and having him hold her hand as she gave birth to their child. She hurt so deeply that her stomach had been in knots ever since she found out.

She decided to go to Chuck's for the sole reason that she had promised him that she would stand by him through anything. She would not back down from that promise, but that didn't mean that she had to spend any more time with him than necessary. She could cut him out of her life again after this issue with Bart was resolved. He would live a happy life with Landry, and she would become the princess of Monaco. It was the path they were destined to take, she tried to convince herself. Placing her engagement ring back on her finger, she spritzed a bit of perfume on her wrists and called for a car to meet her downstairs.

When she arrived at the Palace, she was thankful that Nate and Serena were already there. She was not prepared to be alone with Chuck again after last night. She couldn't help but notice how good he looked despite the slight darkness under his eyes. She concluded that he must not have slept well the night before either.

In true Blair Waldorf fashion, she put on her poker face, making sure that not a single person would know what happened between her and Chuck. She walked into the living room and said, "So, what's the big news that you all discovered last night?"

Serena looked up and said, "Give us a minute to get everything situated, and we will fill everyone in in a minute."

Chuck allowed his gaze to wander to Blair. He could see that she was trying her best to hide her emotions. He knew her too well, though. He could see the tension pulling at the corners of her lips, the slight red patches sprinkled across her chest from stress, and the pain hidden behind her eyes. She had dressed more conservatively today in a cream and navy boatneck dress that reached her knees. The only exposed skin was that of her forearms and calves. She gripped her clutch so tightly that her knuckles were white. His eyes then reached her left hand where he saw the ring sitting perfectly in place, and his heart stopped for a moment. She wore it to send him a silent message. Leave me alone; you don't have a place in my life anymore.

Landry exited the bedroom dressed for a day of shopping, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw Nate, Serena, and Blair. She had planned to be gone before they arrived, but she must have misunderstood the time that they were coming. She stammered, "I am so sorry. I was just leaving -"

"No," Blair interrupted with a forced smile, "Please stay. Besides Chuck, you know Bass Industries better than any of us." Blair didn't know if that was really true or not, but she was going to force herself to be in the same room as Chuck and Landry. She needed to get used to the fact that he belonged to someone else, even if it hurt. The physical reminder of having Landry in the room would surely help her stay true to her mission.

Chuck could see how uncomfortable both women seemed to be. Landry still didn't know Blair well enough, but he was certain she was right that Blair was intimidated by her. They both meant so much to him, and he had no idea how to make either one comfortable in this situation.

Serena and Nate seemed to be oblivious to the building tension between the three brunettes. "Okay, everyone, have a seat," Serena instructed.

Landry took the chair next to Serena's, leaving Nate, Chuck, and Blair to take the couch. Chuck and Blair both tried to avoid the other, but when Nate took the seat on the far left side, Blair had no choice but to sit in the middle between Chuck and Nate. She sat up straight with her purse in her lap, trying to maintain as much distance as she could. Chuck slunk into the armrest to keep his thighs from touching Blair's. Landry gave him an irritated look and subtly rolled her eyes in his direction. He offered her a slight shrug of his shoulders.

Blair was anxious to get started. The sooner they start, the sooner she can escape the hell of feeling Chuck's body heat beside her. She didn't mean to snap when she said, "What've you got?"

"We saw Raina Thorpe at Dan's last night."

Chuck knit his eyebrows together, "What would Raina Thorpe be doing with Dan Humphrey?"

"Exactly," Serena said, "When I saw her, I remembered Dan's story about Bart and the fire."

Chuck cringed a little bit, but urged her to continue, "And?"

"Raina's mother, Avery, worked for Bass Industries at the time, so I started to think that there had to be a deeper connection between the Thorpes and Bart than merely being competitors," Serena said. "I was able to go through some of Bart's old files that my mom still had. I found some rather racy letters between Bart and Avery."

Chuck said, "So my dad was having an affair with Russell Thorpe's wife?"

Serena nodded, "So it would seem."

"But what does this have to do with Raina going to Dan or with Bart faking his own death?" Landry asked.

"We're still trying to figure that out," Nate answered. "But I think it starts with that fire."

Blair turned to Chuck for the first time since she had arrived and an involuntary shiver ran down her spine when she saw how intently his eyes bore into hers, almost as if he were silently trying to tell her something that she couldn't quite read. She cleared her throat and asked, "Do you think that you can get a hold of the security footage from the night of the fire?"

Chuck shook his head, "I was thinking the same thing. It might be hard since the fire was over twenty years ago, but I have to think that it's available somewhere." Her eyes changed slightly, and he could tell she had come to the same conclusion: We are always on the same page and two steps ahead of everyone else.

All five of their heads shot up when they heard the door rattle. Georgina walked in with a smirk and said, "Surely you haven't started the meeting without me."

Blair glanced at her phone. 7:02 pm. "No, it's just that you are late. We all have the social graces to show up on time."

Georgina scowled at her, and said, "Watch it if you want to keep your little sex show private."

Chuck looked at Blair confused, "What is she talking about?"

"Nothing," Blair snapped, "Get to it, Georgina."

"First thing's first. We have to take down Gossip Girl." Georgina turned to Landry, "I hear that you have more going for you than just a pretty face," She looked at Chuck, licking her lips, "-and a sex god for a husband."

Blair felt her temper rising, and Landry looked shocked by the bluntness of the woman in front of her, "What do you mean?"

"You're good with computers, right? Isn't that what you did in Australia for BI after you were promoted up from receptionist? Don't look so surprised - I do my homework."

"Yes, I mean, I'm pretty good with computers," She responded.

"Good. I want you to hack Gossip Girl's server, and then we can possibly trace her location and find out who she is once and for all."

"I can try," Landry said. "I've never done that before."

Georgina nodded at her, "Nate, you and Serena go to Humphrey's loft and see if you can get your hands on his laptop and the files that he has on Bart Bass. I know for a fact that he is out seeking false information that will just lead him on a wild goose chase, thanks to me. Landry, I need you to come with me to my place. I have a Hacker's Paradise set up, so that you can get started working on the server. Chuck and Blair, you two do...whatever it is that you two do."

Landry smiled to herself as she watched Georgina take control. She decided that there was something about this girl that she liked. It was almost as if she had planned to get Chuck and Blair alone from the start with her carefully laid out plan. Landry just hoped that Chuck would finally take her advice and actually talk to Blair.