Mac got into bed and stared at the ceiling. He certainly was glad that was a dream. He had been genuinely scared of himself. It had been so vivid. He thought of Stella. She was so beautiful. How could he ever want anyone else? He had felt close to Anita because of what they went through. She was a good friend, and he wanted it to stay that way. But he wanted more with Stella. Why had he dreamed he was going to Australia? He would like to visit Australia. Maybe he should take Stella there. They could go to that beautiful opera house and enjoy the beach. He had also dreamed that he was swimming. He hoped that was something coming in the future. He wanted to swim again. He loved the water. He had always been like a fish. He smiled as he remembered his mother saying he must be a fish in a human body. She never could understand how he swam like he did or how he stayed under the water so long. He supposed he was born to be a Marine. It had been his passion.

Mac woke up the next morning feeling more rested. He also felt like he wanted to go back to work. He didn't feel so troubled this morning. He knew it was Stella. He loved her. He got his phone and called the florist and had them send her a dozen red roses with one yellow one in the middle, and he wanted the card to say "You're one of a kind."

Mac smiled. He wished he could see her face when she got them, but he had to go to his therapy session. Or did he? Did he really have a session this morning? After that crazy dream he had, he wasn't sure what was real this morning. He called Dr. Johnson's office. What was he supposed to say? He thought while the phone was ringing. If he asked if he really had an appointment…

"Doctor Johnson's office."

"Um, this is Mac Taylor. I was checking to see if I have an appointment this morning."

"One moment."

Mac waited. He really thought he was losing his mind. But he would get over it. "Yes you do, Detective," the secretary said. "Your appointment is at eight at the pool."

"Thanks," Mac said.

"Did you need to change it?"

"No, I just…forgot whether I made one or not."

"Okay."

Mac ended the call. He would have to talk to the doctor about this. He had never had such a nightmare. It was worse than the one when his team was laughing at him. He would take that one any day.

At 8:00, Mac was at the pool. Just as he walked in, his phone rang. He looked at it, and it was Stella. He smiled. "Hello," he said.

"Mac Taylor, you are the sweetest thing I've ever seen," Stella said.

Mac smiled. "I try to be."

Stella sniffed. "You just want to make me cry."

"If I was there, I would wipe the tears away."

"Stop."

"I'll see you later. I'll take you out to lunch and get you out of that apartment a while."

"Thanks."

Mac put his phone away. He smiled to himself. He had finally found his true love and she was right there all the time. He thought of all the time he and Stella had been together. They had fought against crime together for more than ten years. She had helped him through the toughest times of his life. How could he think he needed anyone else?

Mac paced back and forth waiting for the doctor to show up. He looked at the pool. Could he throw himself in there and swim? Just thinking of that made his breath short. No, he couldn't do that. He wondered if he would ever enjoy swimming again. He had to. It was something that had been part of his life since he could remember.

Mac heard the door to the pool area, and Dr. Johnson came in. "Good morning," she said. She looked at Mac. "You look like you're feeling better this morning," she said.

Mac smiled slightly. "I am," he said. "I've solved one of my problems."

"Great. Is it the swimming?"

"No, but the most important one."

"Oh, you're down to one woman?"

Mac blew out a breath. "Do you have to say it like that?"

"I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have been confused like that anyway. I knew who I really loved." Mac sat down beside the pool. "I had a nightmare last night. It was so vivid that I was terrified, and when I woke up, I was completely wet with sweat."

"You want to talk about it?"

Mac nodded. He told her about his dream and what he did after it. "Sounds like you made up your mind," she said.

"I did," Mac said. "I would never do what I dreamed about doing. Why did I dream that?"

"We often dream about things we would never do."

"But isn't it usually something we 'want' to do. I don't want to do that."

"Don't worry about it, Mac. It was only a nightmare. Maybe you were making up your mind in your sleep."

"I guess."

"So, why don't we get to the water?"

Mac looked at the water. "Why don't we stand in it today?" Dr. Johnson asked.

Mac thought a moment. "I don't know."

"Come on, you can at least stand on the first step?"

Mac took her hand and they went over to the stairs that led down into the pool. He stopped a foot from the steps. "I don't know if I can," Mac said.

"Just relax," Sandra said. "I'm not going to push you to do anything you can't do. But I want you to try."

Mac took another step toward the pool. "I hate this!" he said. He felt angry. "I want to swim like I used to!"

"You have to take your time."

Mac remembered what he did in his dream. He looked at the water. His breath was coming in short rasps already. If he jumped in there and he panicked, he would drown. "NO!" Mac backed away. "Just forget it! I'm not gonna stand here feeling stupid, like a little kid!"

"Mac, you're not acting like a kid."

"I don't care about this anymore! If I can't swim, so what?"

Mac started toward the door. "Are you sure you're going to let your fear win?" Sandra asked.

Mac stopped. He turned toward the pool and stared at the water. He took a step and then another, then he was running. "Mac!" Sandra yelled. But it was too late. He plunged into the water.

Mac felt a little panicked for a moment, but he swam up to the surface. He gulped in air and went down again. He would not let his panic win. He swam up again and this time, he stayed. Dr. Johnson was in the water now. "Mac, are you okay?" she asked.

"No," Mac said. "But I won't let it win!"

Mac felt like he couldn't breathe. Dr. Johnson came over to him. She held his arm. "How do you feel?" she asked.

"I want out," Mac almost whined. "But I'm not getting out."

"Mac, I don't think this is the way."

"What is the way?"

Dr. Johnson could hear that he was gasping for air. "Mac, lets get out and take this a little at a time," she said.

"No," Mac said. "I won't give in."

"Then swim."

Mac looked at her. "I can't. I can't move."

Dr. Johnson pulled him back to the steps. Mac climbed out and collapsed on the floor. "I think you took a step back by doing that," she said.

"I don't care," Mac said.

"Yes, you do. Don't tell yourself that you don't care."

"I want to be normal again!"

"You 'are' normal."

"Normal for me is jumping in this pool and swimming five or six laps!"

"Mac, terrifying yourself isn't going to help."

Mac wanted to cry his eyes out. He felt helpless. He got up. "Tomorrow morning in your office?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Thanks."

Mac left the pool. He drove back home and got a shower and got into some dry clothes. He would go and take Stella out to lunch. Maybe she could help him. He wanted to talk to her. She always understood him, no matter how crazy he was acting. He lay down on the couch to take a nap. He hoped he didn't have anymore nightmares.