Jennie
I hold onto Lisa's belt, my tired mind and body reinvigorating in the way only make up sex can influence a person.
"I'm a chef, babe. I know how to do two things. Feed and eat. So which one do you want to choose?" Her green eyes light with a challenge and I'm instantly damp.
Half the reason I'm head over heels for this woman is because her sexual appetite hits all of the courses on my menu. She's a real artist in the bedroom, and I'm the lucky recipient of her work.
"Eat. Please."
But I don't mean her eating me. Before she can move, I unbuckle her pants, pulling her cock out in one swift motion. She's hard, thick and veiny already … jutting out parallel to my mouth.
"Jennie …" I think it's a question or a prayer.
She fought for me, didn't let me run when I so desperately wanted to sprint from connection or any hint of complication. And I wanted to praise her for it in the best way I knew how.
I scoot forward on my chair, making sure to lock eyes with her as I move my lips toward her leaking head. The minute I make contact, one small touch to the crown of her, Lisa hisses. She's salty and musky, an erotic scent that fills my head as I test out my motions. I slide my mouth down over her, taking her as far as I can and wetting her stiff pole. I leave my hands behind my back, knowing this drives her crazy when I only use my mouth.
"Fuck yes, I love it when you slide all the way down." She fists a hand in my hair, not forcing, but not letting me up all the way either.
It's funny, normally I would have said I didn't want someone who was controlling during sex. I like to think of myself as an independent woman, and therefore have a mental block when it comes to submitting. But with Lisa … it's so exciting. There is no other word for it. It sends a thrill up my spine every time she demands a little too much. Every time she binds my wrists or holds my head down while I suck her. We don't use whips, chains or any other toys besides our bodies really … but something about the way she commands just does it for me. Gives me the little extra thrill I need to mark all my checkboxes.
I'm licking her tip when I'm suddenly hoisted up by the shoulders and begin to move.
Except, instead of picking me up so we're face to face so I can kiss her, Lisa has me thrown over her shoulder.
I can't help but giggle. "What're you doing?"
"You deserve a little punishment." She swats my ass harmlessly. "You started a fight with me earlier, and then you almost sucked me off until I came in your mouth. You know better … I always want to finish inside of you."
See, that right there. Filthy mouth, topped off with that sweet dimple. It mixes a woman up in the head, and apparently, my lady parts craved that.
She threw me down on the bed … which had really become our bed. Lisa's support foam pillow had taken up residence on the left side. With no trouble at all, she lifts her shirt off my body, unveiling my nudity beneath. We both suck in a breath; me as my nipples hit the air, budding, and her at the sight of me. My inner ego preens … Lisa always seems to make me feel undeniably beautiful whenever she looks at me.
"I can think of no better way to make up." She shrugs out of her shoes and jeans, leaving her T-shirt on.
And then she's pulling me to the end of the bed, no warm up, no foreplay. I part my legs for her, my ass hanging over the edge as she holds both legs just below my knees. Standing on the floor like that, she towers over me, her dick positioned at my entrance. I squirm, knowing how she'll deliciously impale me. This is exactly what I need.
"I love you," I breathe as she slides into me, thick and pulsing as she pushes in to the hilt.
Lisa bends over me, hooking my legs around her waist to free her hands and plant them on either side of my face. She looks like a track runner about to win a race, her jaw tight and her green pools intense as they stare down at me. There is something even sexier about making love with clothes on sometimes … the pulling of material, the less is more effect.
"You. Are. So. Perfect." Lisa hits on the words every time she slides back into me, maintaining a slow but hard pace.
My toes curl, my thighs shaking as they grip the muscles at her waist. Goose bumps move across every inch of my skin as I get closer to orgasm, the climax coming on like a fever. This time feels different, there are more emotions floating around us. After our fight, it's a cathartic kind of sex, a rededicating of ourselves to each other.
It doesn't take long for all of my senses to act as one. My eyes seeing her body move, feeling her pleasure me. The scent of her, manly and in control, filling my nose. My teeth biting into my lips, almost drawing blood at how much I need to explode. Every groan and growl registering in my ears, heightening my own arousal.
"I'm going to come." I don't know if I say it as a warning, but I find myself nodding, everything inside of me saying yes.
"Come for me, baby." Lisa thrusts in farther, finding nerves and spots that I didn't even know existed.
I focus on her eyes, my vision going white around everything but ferocious, magnetic green orbs.
"Yes, Jennie. Yes, baby …" Her fingers dig into my hips as I let go, and somewhere my conscious brain registers that she's unraveling too.
The room is filled with nothing but our sounds of release, guttural calls of pleasure piercing the silence. I let it wash over me, let Lisa act like a drug that takes away the worry and pain of the day.
And when she pulls out of me, crawling up the bed to bury her face in my neck, I breathe her in. The future may be unclear and full of scary uncertainty, but at least I have this woman beside me.
I know now that to try and run, to try and preserve myself, is one level of foolish I won't be again.
After DK leaves to go back to Seattle, with another tension filled discussion in the lobby of his hotel, time seems to drag and fly at the same time.
September flies by, and October arrives with its annual Halloween costume debacle. Every year, Lily tells me she wants to be one thing, so I buy the costume, only to be told three days before the spookiest night of the year that she wants to be something else. The month also brings with it more stress at work, preparing the colder climate national parks for the change in the seasons. Nights are sometimes late, and early bird me also likes to start on Christmas shopping before the malls and stores get crazy in November and December.
My autumn is also filled with Lisa, who practically lives with us now. Her toothbrush is in the bathroom, her sneakers and socks are tossed by the front door. She picks up takeout on her way home, sometimes surprising Lily with her newest flavor of ice cream as a treat. Once a weekend, she'll take her by the construction on the new storefront, or for a ride around one of the neighborhoods in the truck. We're better than ever, even if we do have our fights about leaving dishes in the sink or throwing the comforter off the bed in the middle of the night.
In some ways, the clock doesn't seem to stand still. But in others, I'm just waiting for the axe to fall. I've only received the occasional call from DK since he left a month ago, and he usually asks me straight away to put his daughter on the phone. He never mentions filing for custody or what he has up his sleeve; he just leaves me dangling, with little passive aggressive sharks biting into my brain with doubt-filled teeth. Not knowing is the worst part. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, wondering if I should be protecting myself. Wondering if I should get a lawyer or … do something.
But he still could be bluffing, and if I make a move, there is no telling what damage I could do before he has a chance to back down. I feel like I'm navigating hot lava, trying very hard to stay still or move only when absolutely necessary.
Trying to push it out of my head, I focus on the Internet browser in front of me. Princess birthday invitations light up the screen, and I add them to my cart. Next month is Lily's fourth birthday, and we're doing a birthday party at the local trampoline place. She won't stop babbling about it, and it's over a month away … I find it hilariously cute.
"Does she have her costume ready?" Lisa walks in the door, her face resembling a hyped up puppy.
"I thought we weren't leaving for another hour …" She breezes by me, planting a kiss on my cheek as she searches for Lily.
"I'm ready!" She pops out of her room in her costume, and I burst into laughter.
For some reason, she insisted on being that hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo. She loved Fiona, the animal Instagram star, and so we'd pieced together her costume with gray and purple sweats. I'd found hippo ears and a nose online, and added some lettuce leaves on her sleeves because we knew that Fiona liked to eat those. She looked adorable, and I loved her creativity.
It was a rather easy costume, and I thanked my lucky stars that she hadn't wanted to be something that involved sewing fifty two pieces together.
"Look at you! Cuter than any baby hippo I've ever seen." Lisa scoops her up, making what I can only assume are her best hippo noises. "You ready to go Truck or Treating?"
"YEAH!" She pumps a fist in the air.
"Mommy, you have to get in your costume." Lisa smiles at me, mischief in her eye.
I roll my eyes, annoyed that I even have to dress up. "You know, last year all I did was trail behind her and hold the pillow sack. Can't I just do that again?"
"No!" They both say in unison.
Twenty minutes later and we're all in our costumes, headed down to the car.
"I don't understand why I had to be the giraffe," I mutter, annoyed.
"Because the skin tight spotted suit so wasn't going to fit me. Plus, your ass looks better," Lisa whispers as she closes Lily's door.
I swear to God, she only ordered this because I look like Catwoman … except, well, I'm a giraffe. She's in a penguin costume, claiming she had to be a penguin to peddle ice cream around on Halloween.
Or correction, the day before Halloween. Since some of the neighborhoods around DC weren't particularly kid friendly, or safe, Lisa and some of her food truck friends had set this up two years ago. Truck or Treating happened the day before Halloween, in a local park where they all got permits to park. They sold their products, but also had huge tubs of candy out front for the kids to go truck to truck. And twenty percent of the proceeds were donated to charities to help at-risk youth around the city.
If I didn't already think she was a superhero, Lisa just grew ten feet in my eyes.
Plus, it would give Lily somewhere to experience a real Halloween in DC. She probably didn't remember it, but back in Seattle, we lived in a townhouse bordered by a bunch of other young families with children. In our apartment, she really wouldn't get that same experience. I was thinking about taking her to Mom's neighborhood, but this would be a great bonus.
"Oh my God, there are so many people here." I couldn't help being surprised as we parked and got out of the car.
Parked along the sidewalk and overlooking a grassy park were over a dozen food trucks, people lined up at them to buy some grub. Children in costumes of all sorts ran through the park, yelling and laughing and trading candy.
"I told you, it's a big deal." Lisa holds my hand as she hoists Lily up on her waist. "I'm kind of a regular charity superstar."
"Can it, Bono." I walk to Cones Corks and see Rosé already scooping.
"'Sup, guys?!" Lisa's business partner waves at us, and Lily shrinks back a bit.
To be honest, I think Lily forgets who Rosé is because she is constantly changing the color of her hair. Today it is bright neon yellow, and I wonder where she even found a dye that color. She's dressed like some kind of zombie rockstar, and I'm afraid she might be scaring the children but don't say anything because I'm cautious of what she'll say in front of my daughter. While I like Rosé, and I know she means well, she isn't exactly kid friendly.
"You think maybe you could have gone with a little bit more G-rated of a costume?" Lisa laughs.
Well, at least Lisa isn't afraid to say something.
"Lily, never work for someone else. The boss is always ragging on your balls." She shoots my daughter a silly look, which makes her laugh.
"Rosé, really? Language." I chuckle, but can't be too mad. She's kind of lovably annoying.
"Great turnout, we've sold out of two flavors already. Go on out, I'll hold down the fort. Lily, I expect your pillowcase to be full of candy when you get back, so get to it. Score some Twizzlers for Aunt Rosé." Rosé nods at her and salutes, going to help the next customer.
We went back out, walking to the first truck. Lily ran a little ahead of us, familiar with some of the truck owners now that Lisa had been taking her around some of the festivals recently.
"You look incredible. This penguin definitely wants to mate with you." She leaned into me, doing some kind of weird sniffing, animal thing.
I lean into her, unable to stop from smiling even if I was annoyed that she made me wear this costume. "That would be a pretty weird looking baby."
"But it would be fun trying to make it. We would make some pretty adorable babies."
She says it so off the cuff that it catches me by surprise. Over the course of the past few months, we've become more intimate and closer then I guess I realized. Lisa has become one of the people I turn to most in my life, she's practically living in our apartment, we don't do anything where she isn't involved. She's becoming closer to Lily, and now I guess we were talking about babies?
Fuck. Our babies would be so adorable.
I never really thought about having more kids. Sure, maybe when DK and I were still together and Lily was one or so, it was a pipe dream that our family would grow. But when things began to get tough, I kind of put those thoughts out of my mind.
Having a family with Lisa. It was an idea I hadn't really considered before, as we had said we were going slow at the very beginning. Since then, there hadn't really been a conversation about where this was going or how serious it was, it just kind of progressed through those steps and we'd become inseparable.
I realize I've been silent for a few seconds, and Lisa is looking at me with a look that says, 'maybe I shouldn't have said that.'
"We would … so long as they have your dimples." My grin is far off, thinking about what little Jenlisa kids would look like.
"And your eyes." Her look into said eyes is deeper than the joking atmosphere we'd been teasing in before.
Sometimes, I forgot how young I still was, because as a single mom, I didn't much feel like it. But clearly, my girlfriend was thinking about things beyond right now. She was considering a future, a life with me. And maybe it wasn't such a pipe dream to think about what that could be.