A/N: One down for the books. Your words of support and encouragement carried me to end of my first writing journey.
It stung. The vibration brought memories—good and bad—crashing into her. Nitrile gloves and paper towel brushed and dabbed at fresh blood. Fluorescent lights beamed down at her as she laid, in just a bra, against worn leather. Fitted jeans and designer heels adorned her lower half, with her feet comfortably dangling off the chair. Honey blonde locks were in a ballerina topknot with loose tendrils framing her face. Breaths were calculated and even. Hands were clasped and resting on her bare, flat stomach. Bare except for the jewelry in her navel.
"You alright, Maura?"
"Mhm, it's been a while." She closed her eyes as the needle retraced the outline.
"It's both a good thing and a bad thing, schätzelein."
"Bad thing?" Her cheek flinched as vibration steadily increased in pressure. Shading was always the best and worst part. It signified that the end was near, but it always stung just a little more than she could handle. Teeth bit into the side of her cheek and her calves tensed. She knew that this would be more sensitive than the others, but nothing would top the one on her rib.
"You must remember that I've seen you at different points in your life. We practically grew up together."
"Mhm..." Maura was listening, she just couldn't detour her focus from the eight-count breathing regiment she had going on. In for eight, out for eight. While she couldn't look down, she estimated that they were almost done. Just a few more minutes.
"Don't think I didn't notice that rock on your finger, madam." Daisy, the artist, paused and raised a pierced eyebrow. Hazel eyes met electric blue and Maura blushed fiercely. Redness trailed to her neck, down her chest, and stopped above her clasped hands resting on her abdomen. The tips of her fingers ran along the aged, healed stretch marks right at the waistband of her jeans.
"You'd love her, my friend." Maura smiled softly and winced as Daisy went back to work.
"If you love her, I already love her." Daisy flicked her wrist once more and lifted her foot off the pedal. With a final swipe of paper towel, nitrile gloved fingers gooped a thick salve over reddened flesh. Maura sat up with the help of her long-time friend and stood in front of the mirror.
The skin around black ink was angry. The petroleum jelly made it shine and Maura couldn't contain the grin that graced a freckled face. It was small and thin. Almost like someone drew it on her skin with a fine tip pen and ruler. The lines were crisp and didn't fray or bleed. It was exactly what she wanted and exactly how she thought it would look. This may be her favorite yet.
Maura turned and hugged Daisy tightly, forgetting that she was just in a bra. Daisy laughed and hugged her back. Before she knew it, Saniderm covered black ink and was secured in place with a gentle press. With two hands, Daisy cupped her cheeks and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead.
"I'm so happy for you, schätzelein."
"Until we meet again, liébling."
She was on autopilot. Her silk blouse brushed against the plastic bandage plastered against the right side of her upper chest, but it was a sharp reminder of who awaited her the moment she stepped through the threshold of her home. As Maura approached the driveway, she reached for the built-in garage door opener that came standard with her Range Rover. The luxury five seater was a point of contention between her and Jane, but ultimately, she won. They both knew she would, but for Jane, it was the principle. Six figures could've been used for something else, but in the end, did it really matter?
For about six months it did.
The mechanical sounds of a closing garage door went unheard as tiny arms and legs became glued around her thigh. Maura immediately bent down and scooped the light of her life into her arms. Wet kisses peppered her face and she basked in the affection. She nuzzled her nose against damp hair and inhaled. The scents of Johnson & Johnson and coconut oil, now, had a calming effect on her. The organic fragrance was something she solely associated with her daughter.
Alessandra Constantina Rizzoli.
A Rizzoli by blood, but an Isles through and through. The stretch marks didn't just prove that Maura birthed Alessandra, but the mannerisms and her personality screamed Maura. With her daughter in tow, Maura walked towards Jane. Her wife was leaning against the kitchen island with her thumbs shoved into front jean pockets. Brunette curls were in a messy heap on top of her head. A straining black hair tie seconds away from snapping. Hip jutted out and her stance relaxed. At home.
"How was it?" Jane tilted her head softly to the side.
"Rewarding," Maura replied.
"Show me later?" Jane winked.
"Always." Maura sidled up next to her and pressed a languid kiss against pliant lips.
The synchronicity of their bedtime routine with their daughter was a marvel site. Alessandra attempted to brush her own teeth while Jane hummed the teeth brushing song for two minutes. Maura pulled the freshly dry cleaned uniform from the walk-in closet and hung it on the hook by the bathroom. She smiled to herself as she heard Jane take over Alessandra's teeth brushing and began trying to convince their precocious daughter that rinsing after brushing defeated the purpose of toothpaste. Alessandra giggled, as did her wife, and Maura's heart melted. That care-free sound filled her chest with love and deepened her affinity for her family. Without them, this happiness would not exist. God, she was so grateful.
They ran out of the bathroom and dove into the full-sized bed decorated in cherry blossom bedding. Another part of their nighttime routine. Jane wrestled Alessandra until both of them were nestled beneath the duvet. Maura lifted the other side and picked up the well-loved copy of Oh, the Places You'll Go.
Like clockwork, by the time she got to "games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you" the smaller curly-haired brunette was out like a light. She and Jane waited the customary six minutes before untangling themselves from the small bed. With double forehead kisses to soft skin, both parents shut the lights off and closed the door with a soft snick.
Hand in hand, they made their way to their bedroom. It was almost identical to Maura's old bedroom at her previous Beacon Hill address, but this one was larger. Much larger and much more open with a basket of legos and a box of crayons in the corner by the window. The honey blonde grabbed the curtains from the decorative tiebacks she and Jane picked out together when they acquired their new house. When heavy, thick fabric fell into place, Maura bit her lip as her wife wrapped lithe arms around her waist from behind.
"So…" Jane nipped at the back of her neck.
"Yes, my love?" Maura tilted her head to the side and gently closed her eyes.
"You gonna show me or what?"
She could feel the cheshire smile against her neck. Roaming hands settled on her waist and slid to the front closure of her jeans. With a practiced flick, the pressure of slim fitting jeans loosened. Her body relaxed immensely and she leaned against the strong body at her back.
Walking back towards the floor length mirror, Maura met Jane's eyes in the reflection. Nimble fingers went to the top button of her sleeveless blouse. One down, six to go.
"What do you think it is?" Three left.
"Something foreign," Jane whispered against her ear.
"Close."
"Already?" Jane's grin was salacious.
Maura bit her lip and smiled. She arched her back slightly to let the blouse fall smoothly down her arms. On anyone else, nude beige would be so plain. On Maura? Her skin was so pale, it complimented the freckles and the lace detail added to the subtle allure. This was how Jane loved her. Neutral, natural, and naked.
Phi was stark against alabaster skin—even through the plastic covering.
"It's so...delicate." Jane tightened her hold around her midsection as lips swept across an almost bare shoulder.
"Fitting, no?" Maura shimmied out of her jeans and let them drop unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor beneath bare feet.
"I used to think so, but after being married to you for over five years? You're not as fragile as everyone thinks." Jane hooked her fingers into the sides of her matching, lacy hipsters and pulled them a quarter of the way down.
"No?" Coy was something Maura knew Jane couldn't resist. She widened her stance to let ruined fabric drop.
"A good girl doesn't like to be fucked like you do, baby girl." Jane smirked as darkened hazel eyes fluttered.
"You'd think I'd be used to hearing that by now." Maura watched as olive fingertips trailed up her sides and deftly unclasped her bra with one hand.
"So...tell me. What does it mean?"
Maura watched as Jane slid her bra straps down. In the mirror, she could see the visible changes to her body after giving birth to Alessandra. It used to eat away at her self-esteem. She lost the baby weight slower than she wanted and still used cocoa butter on her stretch marks years after her daughter was born. But with every kiss and affirming word, Jane melted her insecurities. While she was still learning to love every new part of herself, at forty-one, Maura was in awe of the life her body was able to carry. Jane helped her see that.
"Le nombre d'or."
Maura found herself swept away from their reflection and instead became supine against the bed. Jane's clothing was rough against her skin. The arousal was building and the draft in the room made it chillier than it was when she was clothed.
"You wanna try that again?" Jane flicked her tongue against a completely jewelry-free nipple. About three-quarters into her pregnancy, the swelling made her nipples too sensitive. She had no choice but to remove the twin piercings, much to her wife's chagrin. When Alessandra was born, breastfeeding and forming a bond with her daughter was much more important.
Maura's eyes closed and her hand balled brunette curls in a fist. The back and forth was reminiscent of the beginning of their relationship when Jane seduced her to comply and disclose what was artfully hidden. However, Maura was not going to prolong the unknown. Jane's need for her had grown exponentially instead of waning as time progressed. It was only moments before her wife forced it out of her with no wits left to her name.
"The golden ratio is a geometric logarithmic spiral that has an approximate value of 1.618…" Maura sucked in a breath of air as teeth grazed harshly against a sensitive peak.
"Maura…" Jane growled.
Right. Jane terms. Use less than five sentences. Quick because her wife was about to make her forget how to speak. It wasn't an insult to her intelligence or integrity, but rather an instant explanation and truncated version to expedite the commencement of the raw fucking they'd inevitably get to. She can elaborate later. Much later.
"The golden spiral is considered to be the divine proportion in nature. It symbolizes balance, growth, release, union. Every turn it makes, the spiral gets wider or further from the origin by the factor of φ… "
"Two more sentences, baby girl."
The kisses down her torso were distracting. She needed to focus, but a forefinger and thumb were rolling a pebbled nipple and she couldn't stop the bucking of her hips. If she didn't speak soon, Jane would stop altogether. Maura knew how this worked.
"I spiraled out into the woman who was able to love and be loved by you and Alessandra. Even though I have you both, I will continue to grow as will my love for you and her."
Jane's body froze. Maura felt the pressure of Jane's forehead pressing into her stomach. Drops of wetness landed on hyper sensitive skin and the soft sniffle bloomed sunflowers in her heart. Her hands gently tugged at the nape of Jane's neck to bring them face to face. Tears trailed down a smiling face and she used her thumbs to wipe away the drops as they fell.
"Dry your eyes, my love," Maura whispered. "You have to know that everything you've done and will continue to do, makes me love you even more every day."
"I-I wish that I had something more meaningful to say than I love you."
"You don't even have to say it because I already know."
"You do?" Brown eyes were so bright and watery.
For as tall and intimidating Jane was, in this moment, she was so small. So tiny. It nearly broke Maura in half as it always did. This is what she meant by knowing that Jane loved her. Maura saw the vulnerability and felt Jane's need to be needed and loved. Wholeheartedly, faithfully, and unconditionally. Maura would love her until her last breath. Even if they didn't last, the love she had for Jane wouldn't falter. This was it for her.
"I do."
A/N: I'd like to thank my wife for making me change their kid's name from Serafina to Alessandra. Word to the wise? Happy wife, happy life. As always, thanks for reading. Until next time, friends.