Chapter Eleven: I can't run from the fate, I've been fighting for so long

The following day, Rafael sat in his office going over his notes for an upcoming trial. He had hated leaving Ellie in his bed that morning but she finally convinced him that he needed to go to work. When he thought about working from his home office, he quickly realized that he would need files that were at the work office. Reluctantly he had gone in, swearing he'd be back in a few hours after gathering everything he would need. But when Rafael arrived at work he knew that it would be far easier to just get his work done for the day then go home to Ellie and have a peaceful evening together without the distraction of bringing his work home. He chuckled as he looked at the message on his phone from Ellie simply saying "I told you so" when he told her it would be easier to stay at the office.

When they had arrived back to the townhouse the previous evening, he had fully intended on just holding Ellie in his arms and letting her get some much-needed rest after the past few days she had. His little temptress had other plans though, making Rafael surrender easily to her seductive ways resulting in him bending her over the kitchen counter, after which he took her against the shower wall, then one last time slowly and passionately in his bed. He was on his fourth cup of coffee but he would do it all over again in a heartbeat and if it killed him, at least he would die a happy man. A knock on the door made him lift his head from all the papers scattered across his desk.

"Come in."

Rafael was instantly on high alert as he watched Olivia walk into his office with an uncomfortable look on her face.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" She asked apprehensively.

"Of course. Please sit. Is everything okay?"

"Listen, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm just going to come out and ask." She told him as she took the seat in front of his desk. "Is there something going on between you and Detective Cruz that I need to know about?"

Rafael sat back in his chair and regarded Olivia for a moment. He couldn't gauge what she was thinking and why she was asking about it in the first place. There was no use in hiding anything though, that just wasn't the kind of person Rafael was. He knew that no matter what happened in his personal or professional life, he would make any sacrifice needed to be with Ellie. There was no scenario in his mind that didn't have her in it anymore.

"Would you like a long drawn out explanation or are you going to take things at face value and accept what is and what will be?"

"Rafael, do you have any idea what the repercussions of this are?" Olivia asked him sincerely.

"I understand your reaction, I do. But as long as this is handled as prudent and judiciously as possible, there shouldn't be any type of negative fallout. The truth of the matter is, we met before either of us knew that we would be working together, and although it isn't ideal, I intend to keep her in my life by any means necessary."

"But the kickback from this…"

"Is irrelevant," Rafael stated sharply. "We have been discrete thus far and I see no reason why this should affect anything or anyone else."

"Well for one thing if Ellie ends up having to testify in one of your trials the defense is going to have a field day when they find out."

"And I have already thought ahead on all of these concerns. There is no reason for you to have to worry. I have already laid out everything for Jack Mccoy and it will all be worked out. I promise."

"You know I only have your best interests at heart, Rafe." Olivia began. "I have been through the wringer a few times with workplace relationships, I just hope that things go better for you than they did for me."

"I appreciate you coming to me as a friend Liv. You know I would never do anything to compromise our jobs or our friendship. I was waiting until I had fully disclosed to Jack then you were next on my list."

The two sat in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say. Rafael felt like some of the weight had been lifted off of his shoulders but at the same time, he worried that Ellie might be upset that he had outed their relationship to Olivia without conferring with her first.

"How is Ellie feeling after yesterday?" Olivia asked. "You guys left before I had a chance to see her. I take it Carisi knows about you two as well after his less than convincing explanation."

"Ah well, she's very resilient. She says that she had way worse when she was undercover and this was nothing. The hospital visit was more of a precaution than anything. As for Sonny, if he knows it's because Ellie told him. They are partners after all." Rafael clarified. "I would be more surprised if he didn't know. Carisi thinks his jabs are clever and subtle and I think we both know he is about as subtle as getting hit by a bus."

"Very realistic interpretation." Olivia said laughing. "Well, I will let you get back to work, and there's no need to worry about me confronting Ellie. I have no doubt in my mind that you two will remain professional so she can disclose in her own time when she's ready. Far be it for me to get in the way of love."

Rafael waited to feel some type of panic or anxiety at hearing Olivia assume they were in love, but nothing came. He wondered if this was love. It was without a doubt the first time he had ever felt anything as intense and consuming as what he felt for Ellie. But the thought of two people falling in love so quickly always seemed so ridiculous to him.

"Can I ask you something Liv?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever been in love?" Rafael asked her hesitantly.

"Well I thought I was but sometimes even when it seems like love, it doesn't end up that way. I think that if you're in love with someone, truly in love with someone, you feel it with every fiber of your being until you cannot see living your life without that person anymore."

The thought of never seeing Ellie again, touching her, kissing her, making love to her, brought an instant pain to Rafael's chest hurt. Taking a deep breath he said, "It honestly makes it hard to breathe when I think of never holding her again. She is like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. It makes me wonder how I ever lived without her, but I was only existing not living. I can't imagine just existing again. Knowing she was out there in the world and not being with her would be torturous."

Olivia gave him a sincere smile before replying, "If that isn't love, then I have no idea what is. Now you just need to ask yourself if she feels the same way. Or you could just ask her."

Olivia smiled at him one last time before making her way out of his office. Rafael leaned back in his chair and wondered if he told Ellie how he felt she would reciprocate or run. The last thing he wanted was for her to push him away again so he resigned to wait for the opportune moment. Looking back down at the papers in front of him, Rafael got back to work so he could finish as soon as possible and be back home by Ellie's side.

Standing outside the door of his townhouse, Rafael heard faint sounds of music coming through the door. After unlocking it and stepping inside, he was immediately engulfed in the most wonderful smells coming from his kitchen. After setting down his briefcase and hanging his coat on the rack, he walked around the corner and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him. Ellie stood with her back to him, swaying her hips and singing along to the song playing from the speakers in the living room, while simultaneously stirring something on the stovetop. While she was still oblivious to him being home, Rafael took the time to admire her with her guard down. He memorized every inch and curve of her body as he listened to the most beautiful, enchanting voice he had ever heard. Ellie sang as if she didn't have a care in the world and put every bit of emotion into the song as the actual artist did. Unable to stay away from her any longer, he cleared his throat as he walked over, trying to announce himself so he didn't startle her. Ellie still jumped and tried to spin around, but Rafael was already there with his arms winding around her waist as he planted soft kisses along her neck.

"I wasn't expecting you back this early," Ellie said breathlessly as his lips traveled further down her neck. "But I gotta say, it felt like you were gone for a lifetime."

Rafael turned her around to face him and smiled as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Yo también te extrañé." (I missed you too.) He whispered in her ear after pulling her in close.

Holding her close, they began to sway together with the music that still played faintly around the room. Ellie stared deep into Rafael's eyes, feeling the complete serenity that always washed over her at just being near him. She closed her eyes and moved with him, wanting to stay in this moment forever.

"You have a beautiful voice. Not that I am surprised. No, not at all. It matches every other part of beauty you possess. I have no idea how a man like me is lucky enough to be in the presence of such a beautiful and remarkable woman."

"Mmmm you are no slouch Rafael Barba. It amazes me how much I'm able to feel for another person. Tienes mi corazón, Rafael Barba." (You have my heart, Rafael Barba.) Ellie whispered into his ear seductively.

Rafael pulled away slightly so he could look into her eyes once more. The emotion and intensity he saw told him that Ellie had fallen just as deep as he had. Tipping her chin up, his lips descended upon hers and he kissed her in a way that held so much meaning there wasn't a doubt in his mind, Rafael loved Ellie with every fiber of his being and would never let her go.

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