Angels on High

December in Chicago was brutally cold, especially at night. Kelly Severide and Matt Casey had just returned to their apartment, Kelly kicked the door shut behind him and locked it only as an afterthought. Casey was already in the process of getting his coat off as Kelly just started to struggle with the buttons on his jacket. Casey had one arm out of his coat, but before the other one came out, there was a small sound in the room. Kelly noticed it but didn't pay much attention, neither of them had talked the whole car ride back. He was trying to shrug his arms out of his jacket when he heard it again, louder this time, and realized what it was when he saw Casey's coat fall on the floor and the lieutenant didn't pay it any mind, as he raised his hands to his face as he started crying. In a few short breaths he was reduced to high pitched sobs.

Kelly blinked back the tears that were trying to start, and especially burning after being out in the cold night air for so long. He wanted to snap at Casey to shut up, but he couldn't. He'd just flung his jacket halfway across the room a splitsecond before Casey fell against him, openly sobbing now. And that did it for Kelly, and as much as he wanted to try and stay in control of his emotions, that all got shot to hell as he pulled Matt close and he too broke down crying. The two friends held tight to each other as everything that had been going through their minds all night finally reached a boiling point and just bubbled clear over.

Sometime in the midst of it, Kelly heard as well as felt the vibrations against his neck as Casey cried, "It's not fair, Kelly, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!"

The realization that he couldn't hug Casey any tighter than he already was gave Kelly a feeling like a rock in his stomach as he pressed his forehead against Matt's and responded through his own tears, "I know...I know..."

1 week earlier-

"Hey Chaplain," Casey greeted Orlovsky as he entered the common room, "What brings you here?"

"I was hoping I could speak to you two," the firehouse chaplain answered, "I need your help with something."

The two lieutenants exchanged a look, Kelly looked at Orlovsky and said, "If we can, okay, what is it?"

"Well it's a complicated matter," he explained, "do you recall a house fire two weeks ago over in Bridgeport where the mother and her 8-year-old son were trapped inside? You got them out without any injuries."

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, I remember."

"Did something happen to them?" Casey asked.

"It's nothing that simple," Orlovsky explained. "They're members of my church, Lynne Sorensen and her son, Jake...Jake was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and he's had all the treatments, seen all the specialists...and nothing's worked."

A grim air of silence filled the room as the two firefighters exchanged another look.

"The doctors say he has very little time left and he may not even make it to Christmas, if he does...this is going to be his last."

Casey sucked in an uneasy breath.

"Well where do we come into this?" Kelly asked.

"Well Jake has a request that...Lynne brought to my attention this morning and...you two are the only ones who could make it possible."

"What's that?" Kelly asked.

"He wants to go around Chicago and see all the houses that are decorated, and he specifically said he wanted to do it with the two firemen who saved him...in, I might add, your car, Severide."

"Huh?"

"As I recall the conversation," Orlovsky said, "he said you rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital to get checked out, and along the way were discussing cars, he wants to ride in your Mustang."

Casey and Severide exchanged another look.

"When?" Kelly asked.

"As soon as is possible," the chaplain answered, "he's one of the strongest kids I've ever seen to have fought this disease for so long...but his days are numbered, the doctors know it, his mother knows it...I know it. And I have no doubt he'll go to a far richer reward, but it seems to me before that happens, that he should have something he wants now while it still counts."

He'd given them the mom's contact information, they spent the rest of shift and the next day figuring out what they were going to do, and they'd called Mrs. Sorensen and made all the arrangements.

That night they'd gone over in Severide's car, met with the family, and put on a far braver face than they did for any fire. Jake Sorensen was a friendly, outgoing, inquisitive, excited 8-year-old, he was also as pale as a sheet, less than 40 pounds, had only a few strands of hair growing on his head, had dark rings around his already sunken eyes, and just so he wouldn't get too cold during the car ride, his mother had dressed him in a heavy winter coat that was now too big for him, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and two flannel blankets. Just to make sure he didn't get cold, Kelly kept the heater on from the time they pulled up. The three of them backed out of the Sorensen driveway and they were off to see all the elaborately decorated houses. Some had flashing icicle lights that ran the length of the whole roof and changed into every color. Some had giant inflatables taking up the whole front yard, Santa and his reindeer, penguins, polar bears, a giant snowglobe, one was a giant snowman repeatedly hitting his head, due to as the balloon in front of it suggested, "Brain freeze". Some houses had projectors shining spinning lights and moving snowflakes on the walls and windows. Some houses had the old light up red candles and snowmen and Santas lined up along the sidewalk, others had netted colored lights draped over every bush in the yard, one had a set of lights that gave the whole house an almost holographic look resembling a gingerbread house. Most houses had the front blinds open just enough to show their big Christmas trees that were shining with hundreds of lights and tinsel and garland of all colors, a few had large pine or fir trees growing in the yard that had lights running the span of two stories.

"You having fun, buddy?" Kelly asked as they cruised along to look at a whole block that were all decked out with lights, projections and huge nativity scenes in the front yards.

"Yeah," the boy replied with a big grin on his face, fighting the lethargy that was sadly obvious as his eyes grew heavy every so often and his breathing became more ragged every little bit.

"Hey, you want to see the house that wins the lighting contest every single year?" Kelly asked, he glanced over at Casey who had a small amused smirk on his face.

"Sure!"

"Okay, hang on."

Kelly turned the car around zigzagged through a few streets before pulling up at a house where almost every square inch of the front lawn was taken up by large decorations. It had everything: colored light arches bordering around the edge of the yard, a lit up nativity scene with 20 animals, a row of 2 foot light up cherub faced Christmas carolers, white plastic trees with blinking colored lights, a candy cane striped inflatable carousel with reindeer that spun around, inflatable penguins going down a slide, light up polar bears wearing red scarfs and Santa hats that moved their heads back and forth, light up candy canes on both sides of the sidewalk leading up to the front porch, Snoopy sleeping on his doghouse with a wreath in the middle, a Christmas train that the lights made the wheels look like they were spinning, white outlines of reindeer with clear lights, except for the shining red nose on the front one, clearly Rudolph. The house itself was decked out with clear and colored lights that ran the length of the roof, the windows, the porch and the eaves. Giant red and silver tinsel candy canes stood on either side of the front door, a light-up wreath too big for the door hung beside the front window. The window was open enough to show a huge tree with lights, garland, icicles, popcorn, candy canes and shining balls and ornaments.

"What do you think?" Kelly asked, "Think they deserve first place?"

"Mmmmm," Jake said in an indecisive tone, "I don't know...it could use a few more lights."

The firemen laughed at that just as they saw the front door open and somebody came out. In the multitude of lights they saw it was a woman, wearing a coat, boots, a scarf, earmuffs, and was carrying something.

Kelly lowered the window on his side and a few seconds later, Trudy Platt appeared at the curb and hovered over them as she looked in the window.

The desk sergeant looked at the 8-year-old boy and asked him very seriously, "Are you Jake Sorensen?"

He nodded without a word.

"You sure?" Trudy asked in her no-nonsense tone everybody at the 21st and 51 knew very well, "Because I got a very important message that a Jake Sorensen was going to be here tonight. You sure you're him?"

"Yes."

She nodded, "Okay, good, then you get hot cocoa and Christmas cookies." She revealed what she'd carried out was a tray holding a wrapped Christmas plate and a Styrofoam cup with a lid on it.

Kelly picked them up and passed them to Jake, whose eyes lit up as he tore at the plastic covering the cookies and told her, "Gee, thanks!"

"And nothing for your two chauffeurs," Trudy added with a smartass twinkle in her eye and a half smirk.

The two firemen had a scoffing laugh at that, Trudy rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Okay, okay," she turned the tray around and revealed two more Styrofoam cups, "and two cups of black hot coffee for you two lunkheads."

"Thanks, Trudy," Casey said as he reached over and took one.

"Yeah yeah, just don't tell anybody," she replied. "I have a reputation to maintain."

"Oh trust me, we know," Kelly responded knowingly.

She shot him a look that shut him up real quick, then she turned her head to the boy who had already eaten two cookies and told him, "You have a Merry Christmas, Mr. Jake Sorensen."

"Thanks, lady!" Jake said over half of a bell shaped cookie covered in green sugar crystals.

She offered a small smile to him, but was all business as she looked to the two firemen and rapped on the roof of the car to signal them off.

A few minutes after they'd left, Jake let out a muffled moan, Casey half turned in his seat towards him and asked, "Everything okay?"

"My stomach hurts."

"Eat too fast?"

"I guess so."

Casey nodded and said, "Tell you what, I'll hold onto the rest of these until we get you home and you can finish them later."

"Okay, thanks."

Casey took the plate and draped the plastic back over the rest of the cookies. They drove on in silence for a couple minutes before Jake asked, "What's it like to be a fireman?"

The two lieutenants shared a look through one eye each.

"You thinking about being one?" Kelly asked.

"Maybe...what's it like?"

"Well there are a couple different ways to answer that," Kelly said. "The one we always tell people is it's a job just like any other job."

"What's the other way?" Jake asked.

Kelly paused for a couple seconds before answering, "It's pretty amazing. When you get to help people, save people...it's the greatest feeling in the world."

Casey was silent but Kelly saw the look in his eyes, and he knew it was just a matter of time, and he was glad, and he was sure Matt was too, that before too long they'd be taking Jake back to his mom, so he wouldn't have to witness what they both knew was coming. The rest of the drive was spent with Jake asking a million questions about being a firefighter and how he could get as big and strong as they were, they answered his questions to the best of their abilities and sounded as optimistic about it as they could. Finally they reached the Sorensen house again, and Jake's mother was outside waiting for them, her arms tight against her chest as she tried to keep warm while she waited for her son's return.

"I had a great time, thanks a lot!" Jake said as he got out of the car.

"Don't mention it, buddy," Kelly said, "we'll see you around."

Lynne was there when he got out, she walked over to the window and told them, tears in her eyes but her voice was strong, "Thank you so much for what you've done."

"I just wish we could've done more," Casey told her.

Present-

At some point they moved from the front door to the couch and were sitting down but still clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it. Both cried until they were hyperventilating, though each at different instances, and neither stopped until they felt all strength had completely left them and both were hoarse to the point they couldn't even speak.

As firefighters there were a lot of ugly truths they'd had to come to terms with early on in their careers. One, they couldn't save everyone, two, they couldn't save all the kids, three, the kids were the worst, they above all others, you never forgot when you failed to save them. They were trained to rescue people from fires, from car accidents, from building collapses, and as hard as it was, they could accept when all their training and all their skills didn't make a difference and they still weren't able to save someone on a call. It was a hard fact to accept but they had to accept it or they'd never get anywhere, not everybody always made it out of a fire alive, not the people they saved, not even their fellow firefighters. But for those situations, there were things they could do to try and save someone. They could accept that, they could deal with that, but a small child whose life was being robbed from him because of a disease that nobody knew how to cure, and they couldn't do anything to help, to try and stop it, to try and change the course of events that was taking place, that was what they couldn't accept.

Kelly wasn't sure what time it was, how long they'd been home, how long they'd sat on the couch unable to make a sound, he was worried if either of them said anything though, that it would just start all over again. But the silence that filled the apartment was overwhelming, deafening, haunting. With one arm still around Casey, he reached with his free hand and found the remote and turned on the TV. What came on was an old black and white version of "A Christmas Carol". Casey grabbed the remote from him with both hands and without a word sharply hit the buttons to change the channel, the next thing that popped up on the screen was a rerun of "A Christmas Story". Casey dropped the remote and the two firemen leaned back against the couch and settled in for the night. A couple minutes into the movie, Kelly felt the sudden weight of Casey's head pressed against his shoulder. Without a word, he wrapped an arm over Casey's shoulders and held his friend tight as they watched the movie in silence.

One year later-

Kelly looked up from the incident report he was working on at the sound of his door being thrown open and was met with the unusual sight of Casey stepping in backwards.

"Most people knock," he commented.

Casey continued to step backwards until he was at Kelly's desk and blindly grabbed for his arm.

"Matt, what is going on?" he demanded to know.

"You gotta see this," was all he said on the subject as he found Severide's wrist and jerked him up from his chair.

"Hey! What's going on?"

"He's here!" Casey turned to him.

"Who's here?" Kelly asked.

Casey turned and looked at him with an almost blank expression in his eyes and answered, "Jake Sorensen."

It took a minute for Kelly to place the name, when he did his eyes bugged out and he shook his head, "That can't be. That's impossible."

"He's here," Casey told him.

Kelly shook his head again, then remarked, "I've gotta see this."

The two of them all but ran out of Kelly's quarters with Casey just barely leading the way. They both skidded to a stop on the apparatus floor as they saw Jake with his mom talking to the other firemen.

Kelly couldn't believe his eyes. It was the same kid. He looked almost nothing like when they last saw him, he was almost a foot taller and about 30 pounds heavier, his hair had grown back, his color was back, the rings were gone from his eyes, but Kelly could tell, it was him.

He turned to Casey and the only thing his brain could think to ask was, "...How?"

Casey shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, "I don't know."

Recovering from their shock only enough that it wasn't noticeable by looking at them, they made their way over to the others and were about bowled over when Jake ran over to them, recognizing them immediately.

"Matt! Kelly!"

"Hey!" Kelly said as Jake hugged them, "Where've you been?"

A whole barrage of words at varying decibels were hurled at the two firemen as Jake recapped everything that had gone on that year, including a whole regimen of vitamins and protein shakes he was taking and that he had gotten into lifting weights so he would be ready to become a fireman when he was old enough. It wasn't until half an hour later when Cruz and Otis came to their rescue and offered to show Jake the inside of the rig, that the lieutenants got to speak with Lynne Sorensen, who explained that Jake had lasted through Christmas, which in itself had been a miracle to her, and then through New Year's, and as time passed, she had noticed a visible change in him, but she didn't dare give voice to her hopes for fear it would be undone and Jake would be taken away from her. But a little at a time, he'd gotten his appetite back, he was able to eat without throwing up, he started to get his energy and strength back, his hair started to grow. They went back to the doctor who ran all the tests, and was at a loss when the results showed the cancer was gone. The doctor couldn't explain it, neither could any of his colleagues, neither could any of the other specialists they went to.

She folded her arms tight against her chest as she told them, "Every day when I wake up, I still can't believe that he's still with us...and he's doing so well. The doctors don't know if it'll last, or if the cancer will come back...and if so, when...but whatever happens...this truly has been a miracle. And I wanted to thank you two."

"What?" Kelly asked.

"We didn't do anything," Casey said.

"Oh yes you did," she replied. "When Jake came home that night, he couldn't stop talking about the two of you, and how much he wants to be a fireman when he grows up...and now it looks like he will." Tears steamed down her face as she hugged the two of them and said, "I don't know how you did it, but thank you."

"Really, Mrs. Sorensen, we can't take credit for what happened with Jake," Casey said.

But she wasn't having it. She looked them both in the eye one by one and told them, "You are my son's heroes...and because of that, you're my heroes too."

"This feels very weird," Casey concluded later that day after Jake and his mom had left the firehouse.

"Yep," Kelly agreed.

"I mean...I can understand someone saying that when we actually did something."

"Uh huh."

"Get them out of a fire, out of a car crash, I can see that, but what did we do here?" Casey asked.

Kelly shook his head. "I don't know." He thought for a minute and said, "Maybe..." he shrugged, "Maybe there really are Christmas miracles. Never really thought about it before, did you?"

Casey shrugged, "Never had much reason to."

"Well, it's the only explanation I can come up with," Kelly said.

"I guess it's as good of one as any," Matt responded, "I'll take it."

Kelly looked at him and nodded, "Me too."