DECEMBER 15 WEDNESDAY

The breakfast food vanished and class started in five.

"There's Mac," said James. "Let's talk to her now."

Mac was leaving the hall with Cas.

"Hey Mac," said Sirius. "A word?"

Mac stopped.

"I have to get some books for class," said Cas and left.

"What do you want?" Mac asked.

"Do you have the rule and the pumpkin or just the rule?" Sirius.

Mac stuck her tongue in her cheek. The sunlight fell on her glasses, and made the flash almost villainously.

"I have the rule."

"Why?" said James. "Why did you make Fletcher get it for you?"

"I didn't know where it was."

"And what about the pumpkin?"

"I don't have the pumpkin. What would I do with the pumpkin?"

Remus showed her the sticky note.

"Did you write this?"

Mac looked at the note.

"I am a member of The ABBA. But not that The ABBA. I think that must be the ABolish BAd morals group. I'm not part of them. I'm part of The ABBA."

The chaps wondered, if she had lost it.

"You're a member of ABBA?" James asked.

"Not ABBA. The ABBA. The Asexual Blokes & Broad Aromantics."

"What's a broadamantic?"

"So why, again, do you have the rule? Sirius asked.

"It's so you can't do your show."

"What? Do you have some problem with our show?"

James mumbled: "So now it's OUR show..."

"As a matter of fact," said Mac, "yes, I do have a problem with your show."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Because everyone's represented in your show. You have gender-fluid-cis-poly-amorous-mono-transexual-bipolar-transvestites but not a single one of your characters is either asexual or aromantic."

The chaps were speechless.

"Look we can't include every single colour on the flag there's like a billion of them!" said Sirius.

"All the characters are transgender and either gay or bi," said Mac.

"Because it's funny! The show is about queers, for queers!"

James pushed up his glasses.

"Maybe the transgenders are asexuals, hmmmm?"

He wondered, was it possible?

"Nobody is explicitly asexual or aromantic in your show," said Mac.

"Look we just think that people should be able to decide for themselves what character is what, we don't want to force it on anyone!"
"I suppose we could make Queen Herod asexual as well as aromantic," Sirius considered.

"I'm going to level with you," said Mac. "I don't like it that everybody has to hook up with someone at the end. There. See you."

She left.

James threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

"Who doesn't like that! What an absurd thing to not like!"
"Yeah," said Sirius. "Honestly I don't see what her problem is. Some of the donkeys don't hook up at the end. At least the cut-outs don't."
"So what if they do? It's just a fun musical!"
"I don't know it's like we just live in a time when everybody wants to be represented and they throw a hissy fit when they're not I mean why is it such a huge deal? I shouldn't have to worry about who's toes I'm stepping on!"
"Also we're just doing the show Dumbledore wants us to do!"
"Exactly! Doesn't Mac know that? Dumbledore specifically asked us to do a queer show where everybody hooks up at the end!"
"He didn't say everybody had to hook up at the end," said Remus.

"No but I think it was implied," said James.

"You weren't even there."
"We'll make Queen Herod asexual and aromantic," said Sirius. "He doesn't hook up with anybody at the end. Do you think Mac will like that?"

"Will Mac like that the evil queen that massacres babies is asexual?" said Remus. "You know what I don't really think so."
"Well why not!"
There just was no pleasing some people.