Okay! Never mind what I said about demon prince boy! Keisuke Sannan is just flat out creepy! EEK! Good thing it's Halloween! LOL!
Hope you enjoy this long awaited update in the collection.
Never Alone
(Kana pov)
I placed the bandages on Sanan as he keeps talking and it was a good distraction from the pain.
"There. honestly, you think your arm would heal but it's still causing you pain. What is with you men and your wish to be hero's and get hurt like this to...have done this to yourselves?" I asked.
Sanan stopped talking. "Kana, are you that worried about me?" He asked.
"You forget, I'm your friend since childhood. I've known you since birth." I said. Sanan was a little older, but I never got along with any of the other children. Sanen stood to the side with me as he was an oddball, and he was kicked from every group.
So, we became friends because he was alone, and I didn't enjoy a lot of the other normal things.
We sat and talked and read together.
Our education was almost the same, even if his was wielding a sword and mine was a scope. Being a healer wasn't the easiest, but it worked for me as I was smarter than most women.
And it worked as a factor to gather information, make laughter, and get men's attention.
I've known the men of the shinsengumi long before hand, and I became the personal caller for their healing. But only when in Edo.
When they moved, I told them only for high emergencies.
I got the letter from Toshi, about Sanan when he drank this "Water of life" stuff and he lost his arm.
A mistake for sure, but I hurried over nad found out the truth. Now, I'm sticking around much more because of him, to keep an eye on the "dead" man who is my friend.
"Thank you Kana. You have stuck by me all this time and I've never truly thanked you for it." He said suddenly.
I rolled my eyes. "Of course. But I do wish you let me see your arm first instead of taking that drink." I told him.
He frowned. "I didn't want you to see me as a failure." He said.
I was surprised by his words. "Failure? Sanan, you could never fail me. I'm always proud of you. I am still angry with the fact you took that stuff and helped create and keep it going, but it's all in the past now. Besides, you really wanted to hold that sword again. It didn't have anything to do with me." I said. It was the truth, Sanan cared about his arm and fighting and killing, not me.
I knew that he would have become a monster by shedding the life of the enemy, but I didn't dare stop him. I couldn't. "Why do you say that?" He had asked me.
I laughed. "Because, again, I know you, Keisuke." I hardly ever use his first name since he joined. "You just don't want to feel useless."
"Kana. What power could you have done to fix this arm?" He asked in an angry tone. "Don't get sassy at me. I'm not into the drama of one's pain." I said channeling his own tone to others. "You were thinking selfishly when taking that. You left me, Keisuke. Remember that." I said.
He was silent for a long while, he knew I was right, as always. To be honest, I could have done something about his arm, had he let me see it in the first place.
"Rules of Conduct" I laugh thinking about it. Such a rule, it was terrible! I hated Kondou for even giving their men such a choice.
I have yelled at Toshi for such a thing and he could easily cut out my tongue, but he understood that I was angry at the fact my closest and most dear friend, had basically, died and I had to find out, he took this thing, instead of facing me and letting me try my own healing and help him be comfortable. I could have done so much for him, and yet...they let him have his way.
"Kana. Are you really that mad at me?" He asked me.
I scoffed. "You are something else Sanan." I said leaving the room. "You are good. Get some sleep." I said and went to my own room.
I was so mad, I couldn't stop my own tears from coming. Anytime I thought of that day, I can't stop crying. My friend was gone.
I couldn't blame Kondou, honestly, it was the man before him who dealt with the experiment in the first place.
But it was Kondou who kept the stuff in hand when he could have thrown them all out after the so called "doctor" ran away.
"Kana." I heard Sanan's voice behind me. I didn't bother to turn around knowing him.
"Kana, you can't be mad at me." He said.
"Oh really?" I asked. "Should I be mad at heisuke? Or Okita? Or should I be mad at myself? Cause I don't know how I feel about you." I said turning.
They had just come off the boat and I had to hear the whole story about Kondou. It was terrible!
"Kana. I don't want you to feel alone. Please."
"Keisuke. I'm already alone in this world." I said walking further away.
"Kana!" He yelled for me but I kept going.
I was useless, I don't even know why he asked for my help with cleaning his wounds.
I have seen Heisuke and Okita, drinking the blood of Ringo and young Masa. Of all things, i never thought My Kei, would become this...blood thirsty driven into madness man. He just...he already left me once, but he kept in touch. But now...he's left me alone for good.
"Kana." His soft voice was behind me. I could feel his cold breath on my skin. "Sanan. Please. I just...want to know why?" That was all I asked. "Why did you have to do it? Leaving me all alone in this world, to hear your death, due to this...potion...and drinking blood of...anyone." I couldn't keep speaking like this. All formal like.
Sanan hugged me from behind. "My Kana. My precious little shiny jewel Kana." He whispered in my ear. It was like we were young teenagers again. Before he left to be a samurai.
"Please. Sanan." I said with tears in my eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I don't mean to leave you all alone in this world of war. I know you've struggled with people your whole life, and with me, I've had the same issue, but, when Kondou came in, he gave me a chance. To become a man. But, I was blinded." He said.
I was quiet as he spoke.
"Kana. I promise you, when this is all over, I'll return to you. And I'll gladly, die, for real this time. To ease your pain of what I am." He said.
"Kei. I don't want to lose you. Please. If you stop all this now, you may come with me. I can provide for the both of us, here in Edo." I told him. "I can be the wife you always talked about."
He chuckled. "Kana. You have always been that person, for me. Since the day I first met you and you spoke to me." He said.
I turned around to face him. "Please! If you love me, come home with me. Leave this all behind. We can hide, from this war, I'll protect you." I told him. Placing my hand on his cheek.
But he took it away. His expression was in pain. "I'm sorry. But I am a part of the shinsengumi. And this is what I have to do." He said.
I wanted to pull away from him, run and cry, weep away my sadness and pain, but he held onto my hand tight.
"I will come back. If i live through this war, won or not, I'll come find you. And we will live together in peace. Promise, my little Kana flower." He said to me, both our foreheads touching.
I closed my eyes, knowing I can't fight him, even if I wished to. I can battle heads with him, fists if I wish, but when it comes to the heart, I lose, every time. "Alright. Be safe, my love." I whispered.
And just like that, they headed into battle the next morning. Even the girls went off to fight in this war.
I stayed behind in my own home. Heading home and waiting for Sanan was all I could do.
He had given me one more thing before he left. "Just in case." He said. The last bottle of the water of life.
What was left from the experiments, he saved it, just in case something ever happened to me.
I should feel happy, but I don't. Unless I feel that he's dead for good, and he's never returning to me, I'll drink this beast and take my time in the long path of death, to get back to him.
After waiting, and waiting for him to come, with the war over, and everyone dead, i couldn't tell anymore.
Till one day, during the first snow of the new winter...
"Kana."
I turn to the once fated tree that brought Keisuke Sanan and I together, he stood there.
"You've come home." I smiled.
"Yes, I have." He smiled.
The End