WORLD ECONOMIC TIMES: SPECIAL REPORT
Pirate Buggy the Clown will be sworn in today as a new Warlord in service of the World Government. Buggy will be replacing Jinbei, recently defected from his position as warlord – see story page 4.
It is widely believed that Buggy was one of the masterminds behind the recent Impel Down breakout – see story page 6. Buggy the Clown had been arrested previously for trying to break into a Marine base. Informed sources believe that he was trying to infiltrate the base to aid support efforts in the rescue of Portgas D. Ace - see story page 5.
Buggy the Clown heralds from an extremely prestigious legacy. He is known to be a long-time rival and personal friend of none other than Red-Haired Shanks. He is also a former crew member of none other than the Pirate King himself, Gold Roger. It is rumored that Shanks and Buggy have a tenuous alliance to protect the East Blue with their combined might and power. An insider commented that the World Government is delighted and relieved that such an incredibly powerful and well-connected pirate is willing to take up the mantle of warlord and cooperate with justice for the greater good.
"He stood there and yelled at Shanks. Who the hell does that?" said the highly informed insider. "You just don't yell at Red-Haired Shanks. What kind of clown does that? That man is fearless…or really, really stupid."
Joining Buggy in the swearing in ceremony were his personal allies Galdino and "Iron Mace" Alvida. Galdino, alias Mr. 3, was formerly affiliated with Baroque Works, the criminal organization founded by former warlord Sir Crocodile. "Iron Mace" Alvida, is an East Blue pirate with whom Buggy has held a longstanding alliance. Gossip columns have been speculating the exact nature of their relationship and many believe that they are lovers, or else in a polyamorous tryst with several crew members - see special feature, page 9 " Love on the High Seas."
Master Chief Petty Officer Koby was not present at the swearing in ceremony. Rumors circulated that Koby was refusing to attend out of protest in the candidate selection, but his partner Chief Petty Officer Helmeppo informed the press that Koby was still recovering from his ordeal at Marineford and needed to rest. The World Economic Times wishes him a speedy recovery and commends him for his bravery.
IMPEL DOWN: PRESENT DAY
Koby returned about three weeks later.
The expansions were going as planned. They had already dug up the forest of spikes and were determining relocating the beasts of level two to various Marine branches, either for combat or retirement. There were even a handful of civilians who were offering to foster the manticores as exotic pets. To Koby's surprise, Sadi-chan cared deeply about the animals in Impel Down, so finally there was finally something to distract her from the fact that the government was now confiscating her collection of floggers. Hannyabal, Magellan, Saldeath and Domino all, at least appeared, in compliance.
The corridors still whispered with Luffy's voice.
He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to see her .
The walk down to Alvida's wretched little hole (well, he supposed he couldn't call it that, it had furniture) felt like an eternity of stifling heat and dread.
"Well now, hello there, sailor boy," Alvida purred, lounging on her makeshift bed and looking up at Koby. The cell smelled very strongly of nail polish; her toenails and fingernails glistening in the dull light. "Do tell me, what news have you brought me today?"
She was skimming through a newspaper, Koby was relieved that she would not be harassing him to provide one, at the very least.
"The paperwork has cleared through most of the Vice Admiral staff members, within the next few weeks I should have almost all the signatures it needs to move ahead to the main Admirals," said Koby, tiredly.
"That sounds quite excellent," cooed Alvida. "Won't you come in and sit down?"
She sat up and patted the couch expectantly, eyebrows raised.
Shishishi - Koby! Are you gonna come in?
It felt like a knife to the chest, to see her pert and preening….when Luffy...
She would keep pestering if he didn't. He didn't have the energy or the spirit to be resistant.
"I will come and sit down, Alvida," he said, resignedly.
"Why Koby, you needn't look so melancholy about it," she said. "Few decline to sit in the presence of a queen."
Koby was not feeling particularly playful or like being teased. He briefly recalled the staff room conversation from the last time he and Helmeppo had been there.
"Alvida, you're a queen of what? " he deadpanned. "Some makeup, some books and an old couch that they pulled out of the staff room? It's junk."
Alvida's eyes flashed, her cheeks flared pink. Koby felt a sudden spike of emotion from her, his haki caught off guard. But it passed, and suddenly she was back to her usual self.
"Well Koby, as I've said before, it's not exactly how I pictured myself retiring," she said, her nostrils flared. She had picked up the the ostrich plumed fan and was fanning herself rather vigorously. "Just who exactly is responsible for that now?"
"Oh, and how did you picture that?"
"Hmmm….digging up my retirement fund, all pirates have one, you know," she said, reclining on the couch with a wink. "Hmmm, shooting Buggy in the head, digging up his retirement fund, and spending my twilight years travelling and drinking men under the table...teaching young girls how to pick locks, mold keys and wield medieval weaponry. Someone has to teach young women the difference between a morning star and a mace and how to use both for practical purposes….self-defense, war, piracy, castration, the possibilities are endless."
"Delightful, Alvida."
"Speaking of Buggy, do you know what the old fool is up to these days?" she asked, thumbing through the newspaper.
"Buggy?" repeated Koby. "He's a Yonkou, didn't you know? He's taken over most of Blackbeard's and -"
He paused, swallowing, his throat suddenly feeling very full.
"Blackbeard and Luffy's old territories, after Luffy took out Blackbeard."
Alvida rolled her eyes. "That bastard. He knows how to stumble into greatness like no other. I like to imagine he's going to come get me at some point, but I know that's not realistic."
"What was the deal with you two?" asked Koby, vaguely curious.
"He was an individual who was very useful to me," said Alvida.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"So you two were just using each other?" said Koby.
"More or less," said Alvida. "Our partnership was one of manipulation and benefits, primarily with me doing the manipulation and reaping the benefits."
She glanced up from the paper, eyebrows raised. "Of course, that didn't stop the newspapers from suggesting we were fucking each other. Apparently no woman can sail under the jolly roger of her own volition, there always has to be a man involved. "
"You're horrible," said Koby. "What about nakama?"
"You young people and your grand ideals of loyalty and magical friendships," yawned Alvida.
"You've never cared about anyone, Alvida?"
"That is untrue, Koby," said Alvida. "I care about myself. I care about how those around me can be useful to me."
Koby groaned.
"Child, did you ever read the old Captain Wolf comics in the newspaper?" asked Alvida, abruptly, as she skimmed through the paper. She had paused on that week's installment of Sora, Warrior of the Sea .
Koby blinked at her. "Come again?"
"Hmmm, perhaps you are too young for it," said Alvida, pursing her lips. "It was a comic that ran in the World Economic Times for some time after Roger's death. It's about a pirate Captain and his crew. They replaced it with Sora here."
"That doesn't ring a bell," said Koby, wondering why she was changing the subject. "Captain Wolf? It's a comic?"
"Yes, Captain Wolf and his merry band of scallywags!"
"Maybe I've heard of it?" said Koby, puzzled. He thought for a moment, vaguely recalling something he'd once heard Garp talk about. "Does he have this Marine who's always chasing him?"
"Yes!" said Alvida clapping her hands, her eyes lighting up girlishly. Koby wasn't quite sure he had ever seen her look that way. "That's the one! Old Admiral Zenitaga could never keep up with Captain Wolf and his crew! There was Gomen the swordsman, Gijen the sharpshooter, Fumiko the thief..."
"I think I've heard about it?" said Koby, slowly. "But I've never seen it. They definitely don't run it anymore." "
"Of course they don't run it anymore," said Alvida rolling her eyes. "The World Government banned Wolf because it made piracy look glamorous, and because it was too raunchy for little virgin minds like yours."
"Well a story about pirates having a good time and escaping the Marines probably wasn't the sort of message they wanted to put in the newspaper," said Koby. "That's why they ran Sora."
"I don't want to hear about that Sora drivel!" said Alvida, waving her hand dismissively, her seastone cuffs clanking. "Honestly, your generation has no taste. A superhero Marine, honestly...what a dull and obvious idea."
"I had no idea you had such a vendetta against Sora,"
"Because Wolf was better . Wolf wasn't pushing some agenda to enlist in the Marines," said Alvida, clearly enjoying herself. "Wolf was out to steal the greatest treasures of the world! He would leave his calling card letting the Marines know where he would strike next-"
"But why would he do that?" said Koby, with a bit of a smile. "What kind of pirate tells the Marines where they are? He doesn't sound like a very good pirate if he has to ask Marines to come and chase him."
"Have you no imagination?" said Alvida, her hands stretched as much as her cuffs would allow. "It was all about the chase for Wolf! He stole for the thrill and the challenge! And what good is a challenge without a worthy opponent? Wolf might have always been one step ahead of Admiral Zenitaga, but they were worthy adversaries! But that being said, Fumiko was my personal favorite."
"Okay, so she was the thief, right?" said Koby. "That seems kind of redundant. You have a swordsman, a sharpshooter, and then...just a thief? If they're pirates aren't they all thieves?" Koby found himself oddly enjoying doing a bit of the teasing back for once.
"Really! So critical of something you've never even read!" said Alvida. She was smiling, genuinely. It was an unusual look for her.
"Fumiko was so much more than just a thief. She was a spy, she was a fighter, and she was a damn good sailor; she could sail anything. Most importantly she was out for herself . Fumiko was loyal to Wolf, when it benefitted her. When it was useful to her. And when it was more useful for her to take the loot and run, or strike a deal with Zenitaga, then she did. Her loyalty was to herself ."
"But that's not how nakama should work," said Koby.
"All this romanticization of nakama and dreams," sighed Alvida. "Everyone has to have some grand, magical dream, and a bevy of perfect little friends. You wanted to be a hero. I just wanted to be a woman who only had to answer to herself. A woman who was self-sufficient. I wanted control, I wanted freedom. That's not always easy for a woman to come by, Koby," she added with raised eyebrows.
"Is this, what you wanted?" asked Koby, looking around the cell.
Alvida's gaze turned icy very suddenly. There was an uncomfortable silence.
"I think you know the answer to that, Rear Admiral." She laid a delicate stress on his title, her eyes narrowed.
Koby swallowed, refusing to let himself be cowed by her. He shut his Observation Haki away, walling up his Emotion self, not letting the cabin boy in him quake under her gaze.
"So that's what this is?" said Koby, standing up. "This game you're playing? Get you out of here, come and visit you, it's about control? Controlling me, just like you did all those years ago? And using that to your get your freedom, that you believe you're so entitled to?"
Alvida's cheeks flared suddenly scarlet.
"Well, what a fascinating conclusion. How clever we are," she hissed. Her fingers were rigid, curled in their shackles, as if resisting the urge strike him.
Koby stood up to leave, refusing to give her the satisfaction of continuing to antagonize him. Talking about old comics was one thing, but he had had enough of her thinly veiled threats and intimidation.
"Control," she said quietly, reclining on the couch and tossing her hair. "Sure."
She was not looking at him. Koby looked down at the keys in his hands, his hand on the lock of the door, and her eyes slowly followed. His haki felt a swell of intense desperation, envy, hunger.
"I suggest you get a move on, cabin boy," Alvida said, quietly.
It's a Lupin reference. That's it. That's all it is. It's Lupin.