A/N: Hello people!

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Chapter 28

You Got to Lose to Know How to Win

Title Credit: Lyrics from the song Dream on, by Aerosmith. Album: Aerosmith, 1973

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"Lucifer is back. He's walking the earth again."

All eyes were on Cas as he delivered this pronouncement, his tone flat. Amber heard him. She felt numb. Gradually, like slo mo footage of a sunset, the full meaning had hit her. As all the implications had fanned out for her in her mind, she'd lost it.

And now she was now being hunted by Lucifer and his demons.

She absolutely couldn't leave the bunker.

She couldn't get a coffee.

She couldn't go to a diner with her brothers.

She couldn't visit Jody and Alex.

She was on lockdown.

She could die.

Her mind took in the magnitude of how her life would be now...so much worse than it already was. Internally, she was having a panic attack. Quietly, just like the most significant milestones in life often occur, this new existence had crept up on her and now it owned her. Tears cascading down her face, nose running, mouth twisted into a drooling grimace, she kept her face buried completely in both hands, her shoulders shaking. A tiny, high-pitched wail of fearful helplessness was the only sound she made.

The blanche of white death settling upon the gathered faces, each person in the bunker made eye contact with the others, each seeking confirmation of their own thoughts. Was this really happening?

Dean was the first to recover. Moving right behind his sister, he squeezed both her shoulders reassuringly with his hands as if he was polishing the rounded corners of a chair back. He rubbed his hands in what he hoped was a comforting manner, up and down, in an effort to calm her down.

Dean's wondered if they'd survive this.

Sam, from his kneeling position in front of Amber, was reaching up and gently took her wrists, pulling her hands away from her face. He needed to get her to calm down, to talk to them, to help them understand what she'd seen.

Pulling her hands away from her face, Sam revealed a horrible mess. Amber's red, wet eyes held the terror of being hunted...and her haunted expression was inconsolable.

"Shhh, shhh, Amber. Can you hear me? Shhh. Calm down. We'll get through this. We always have. We'll be fine."

His own words felt hollow. Dean and Sam exchanged a look. They knew this was probably a lie. Claire saw this silent communication between the brothers, assessing the truthfulness of their words, and quietly kept her own counsel.

Amber was gulping down her sobs, gasping for air, unable to breathe through her nose. At that moment, listening to Sam's voice felt surreal. It was like she was in the bunker and simultaneously she wasn't. She could see Lucifer's intention as this dark, fated existence. His power and influence, as compared to her own, felt like she was taking refuge in a foxhole in the middle of an intergalactic planetary war.

Her fear revealed, Amber's mouth was a twisted up as she cried, drool coming out of one corner, her nose running. Jody searched around the kitchen for something to wipe Amber's face with. Finding a dish towels, she grabbed it and brought it to the girl's face, wiping her nose and mouth, giving her a small embrace against her cheek in the process.

Sam, seeing Amber's eyes more aware, the slightest bit more focused, continued instructing her to calm herself.

"Breathe. Breathe deep and low into your stomach. Amber, breathe with me," and Sam took in a deep breath allowing it to descend into his lower abdomen, his stomach rising as his shoulders remained low and relaxed. Slowly blowing his breath out his mouth, Sam encouraged Amber to follow along with him.

"Breathe, Amber. Breathe...just like we do in meditation practice."

Amber was trying and did take in a deep breath forcing it deep into her lower stomach, slowly exhaling, and repeating this along with Sam.

"That's it. Good girl. Another deep breath. Breathe. Deep into your lower stomach. Very good."

Amber was calming down and was becoming coherent.

"What happened? Jesus Christ...Amber, what just happened?" Dean was adamant, strident concern making his voice loud and demanding.

Cas, drawing closer to Amber, knelt down as Sam stood and backed away, allowing the angel to take the lead.

"Amber, I saw part of your vision. I saw Lucifer being released from the ocean. What more can you tell us?"

Looking around her assembled friends and family, Amber spoke for the first time since this all began. Fearing she'd be unable to finish without breaking down, Amber shared her images with Cas. He understood.

"Two men… Young...they… They summoned him," Amber said in a hoarse tone, her voice hitching.

Here she paused, taking another deep breath, pushing it down into her lower stomach region.

Taking in another shuddering breath, she went on, "They used a petrified feather from his wings. And he... he killed them both. And he was still in Vince Vincente's body… He was decaying, but he used that feather and then… Then he was good as new… And that was it."

Hearing her own words, Amber's face crumbled again. "He's back… He's back," she sobbed out, pulling at Sam's hold on her wrists, trying once again to cover her face in despairing fear.

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Calm down, now. We knew this was bound to happen at some point and we're gonna find a way to fix this," Dean's voice was thick with emotion. He had a role to play and was trying hard to sound reassuring, comforting.

Amber shook her head, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

"He's back and he's coming for me," Amber felt her chest tightening and her breath became shallow once again. She was starting to hyperventilate again.

The reality of her own words crushed her like a pounding wave. All the pent up pressure and stress of the last couple of days came crashing down over her with a suffocating sensation that was engulfing her.

Again, her brain was flooding with a myriad of bad possibilities pounding down on her mentally: Lucifer's return; what this would mean for her; how would she live day-to-day; would she survival; would her brothers survive; what about Claire, Jody, Alex, Tyler, Kyle...even Josh and his dad; the whole world?

Amber became aware of Deans hands on her shoulders and this brought her back to where she was. Taking in the concerned faces around her, especially Jody's pale face, Amber was more aware of the important people gathered around her.

Tight and tense, a deep crease had formed in the middle of Jody's forehead. And then second wave of fears and worries followed the first. Amber's biggest fear was that now that Jody knew...she really knew the whole truth, compounded by Lucifer being back and after Amber... she'd lose Jody, too. Jody would take Claire and go, never to come back ever again. Amber knew it. She just knew it!

Her breath catching in her throat Amber was now barely managing to get oxygen into her body. Her face felt heated, her heart an adrenaline-induced tachycardic thumping in her chest. Her vision had started blurring. The hyperventilation was having a scary side effect. Amber felt her muscles cramping up as if her limbs were crimping in on themselves like the crinked-up legs of a dead spider.

Seeing her sliding into a full-blown panic attack, Sam knew he had to stop this. Urgency needed, Sam forced him Amber to focus on him. Hands clasping the sides of her face, fingers brushing her hair out of the way as it clung to Amber's sweaty forehead, Sam was forcing an intervention onto this possible trainwreck. He wasn't alone in his decisive save.

Jody jumped into action, taking the towel she had used a minute ago and rinsing it thoroughly with cold water, she rushed back to Amber and started running the cool cloth over her face.

Claire was watching everything with an almost pained expression. The severity of the situation was evident even to her and she found herself numb, uncertain of what to do.

Cas, seeing that the brothers and Jody's efforts didn't have any effect on Amber, he walked close to her and reached out, touching her right in the middle of her forehead. He wasn't as powerful as he once was, and Amber wasn't human, but he still managed to send enough soothing energy to settle her down. A light poured into Amber's face, filling her eyes with a beautiful light. The rainbow incandescence of desert glass shimmered out of her eyes and slowly diminished, leaving in its wake a calmed heart and reassured mind which Amber could reclaim. Cas watched as her breathing returned to normal, shoulders relaxing slightly, eyes able to focus once again.

"There you go," Sam spoke quietly, his left hand still cupping Amber's right side of the face. "That's it. Breathe," he kept coaxing her.

Amber's eyes sought out Jody. Seeing only concern and love on the sheriff's face, Amber was equal parts confused and despairing, wondering if this had been the final breaking point where Jody would walk away. Yet, there she stood. It had been adolescent thinking on Amber's part, this jumping to foreboding conclusions while in full crisis mode, but she didn't see it like this. Amber's focus had been on how she'd go on without this wonderful woman in her life? She needed Jody so much. Amber desperately needed Jody's mothering presence.

However, if Jody was rethinking her allegiance with them….the woman was demonstrating just the opposite.

Following Amber's eyes, Cas saw this all in her wide open thoughts, images and emotions gushing out like a shaken beer. Able to read Jody's commitment to the people in the room, the angel mentally reassured Amber, letting her feel and see that Jody had no intention of leaving any of them. Amber did see this through Cas. The feathery mental touch of this probing overreach filled Amber's heart. That deep pain of maternal loss was her go to...a reflex of sorts that was hard to break. However, with Cas' words in her mind, and Jody's pretty face beaming love and concern at her, this deep loss she was already preparing to suffer was dissolving, and was being replaced by all of this loving reassurance. Sam and Dean knew nothing of this.

Shoulders relaxing, breath releasing, Amber was leaning into all of this strength of family and friends.

Dean and Sam saw this exchange, not quite understanding the full meaning, and looked to Cas for explanation.

"Amber was afraid that Jody would leave once she saw how dangerous this situation really is."

Sheepish concern on their faces, the brothers looked to Jody to assure themselves that this wasn't true. They'd made an enormous mess of things and were equally worried about Jody walking away. They'd lost so many people in this life.

Rolling her eyes, Jody was seeing the inanity of Cas' lack of discretion and fantastically bad timing. It was so bad, even in this tense situation, it was kinda funny.

Choosing not to comment on his lack of discretion, Jody simply sighed and walked closer to Amber, lowering herself into a squatting position next to her chair. When Amber's eyes met hers, she smiled softly, her expression an odd mixture of encouragement and sadness.

"Do you remember what I told you back when we first met?" Jody asked Amber, her tone soft and soothing.

Amber kept looking at her, not sure what she was talking about.

Reading her expression the woman continued, "We're family, Amber. No matter where our blood comes from, it's all about love and how we stick around for each other. And I'm not going anywhere. Well, I'm going back to Sioux Falls tomorrow, but I'll always be there for you."

Pausing, she turned to look at Sam and Dean, too.

"For all of you," she added.

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Bourbon decanter prominently placed in the middle of the library table, Jody, Dean and Sam were each cradling a half-empty glass as they sat in silence. They were trying to wrap their heads around what had just transpired. How their whole reality had shifted in a matter of minutes. Castiel, leaning against the wall, watched them intently as he too tried to make sense of things.

"God, this is fucked up."

Both brothers turned to look at Jody, slightly surprised to hear her openly swear like that.

"She shouldn't have to be dealing with this crap," the woman went on, her downcast eyes fixed on the amber liquid she swirled around in her glass.

"No. No, she shouldn't," Dean agreed, his tone dark. "And she shouldn't have grown up without her mother, without dad, without us!"

Lifting his glass, Dean gulped down another swallow of the liquor, gritting his teeth as the bourbon burned his throat going down.

"In and out of foster homes. Goddammit...those places are so... they're so fucked up. She shouldn't have had that shitty life!" Dean was lost in his depressing thoughts and took a final, deep gulp of his bourbon. Reaching for the decanter, he refilled his glass.

"At least we had dad, you know, and Bobby, Pastor Mike...Amber, she, she …" and Dean just trailed off not finishing his sentence. He was slightly slurring his words.

Now whispering, Dean was sounding even more intense. "God, she was on her own when she was barely thirteen. And in that run down place she was living in in Reno…"

Here Sam interjected, needing to course correct a half-drunk, depressed Dean.

"That place was bad, but Dean, you and I lived in a few old hotels that weren't much better than that. Remember we used to have cockroach races at the one place in Cincinnati?"

"Yeah, ok."

Here Dean smiled recalling the childish creativity of racing cockroaches in a makeshift obstacle course of soup cans, empty milk cartons and stacked telephone books. The resilience of childhood imbuing a mist of fun over a bleak existence.

"Yeah, I know, but this is our sister. Not you, not me...a little girl. I should've been there for her. We should've been there for her."

Cas saw where Dean's heart was hurting, for his sister's past and Dean's feeling he was to blame for this. All of his self incrimination was entirely neurotic. It was John Winchester who bore the greatest responsibility for this. Even here, John had actually done the best he and that angel could for their daughter. It wasn't ideal, but it did give Amber the chance to survive. This was the truth of the matter.

"God, she was all alone at thirteen! Thirteen Sam…" and Dean turned away, sinking down into his bourbon-soaked remorse of how his sister's life had been.

"She shouldn't have had to fend for herself, she shouldn't have been all alone, and she shouldn't have had to fear for her life every single day since she learned who she is. She shouldn't have to go through all the crap that she has been through and yet here we are," was Dean's final remark.

He ended his small speech with another sip of his drink, eyes focusing back to Jody, whose words had brought these thoughts to the surface in the first place.

Jody turned to look at him, then Sam. She took in their faces, noticing for the first time how aged and tired they looked in this moment. Her heart clenched at the realization of what these two men and Amber had to go through before they even found each other. Knowing the full truth about who Amber was, knowing what she'd been through and how she survived till the day Sam and Dean found her, this realization gave her a profound understanding of so many things. Of Amber's behavior, of the brothers' seemingly overprotective tendencies, of all of their insecurities and fears.

Shaking her head and willing herself to focus on the current situation, Jody then asked, "So, what now?"

"Now we lay low," Dean said in a tired tone. "Why do you think it took us so long to let you know about Amber? Lucifer was out and about when we first met her. His loyals almost got her the night we hauled her away from Reno and brought her here."

"It was Cas who managed to trap Lucifer with the help of Crowley and Rowena," Sam continued, his voice hoarse. "If they hadn't managed that, Amber would still be locked up in here, her existence hidden from everyone. This short entrapment allowed us to take her to a couple of hunts, to spend time with you guys… But now…"

"Now we're back to square one. It's no longer safe for her to be anywhere but here," Dean completed Sam's unfinished sentence, then downed the remainder of his current drink with a loud gulp, gritting his teeth at the burn.

Jody, bringing a hand to rub her forehead, shook her head.

"That's no life for a sixteen year old girl," she said quietly.

"No. No, it's not," Sam agreed. "But 'life' is the key word here, Jody. This is a life and death situation. And the first priority is to ensure she stays alive and safe. Until we figure this thing out."

"And what's the plan? How do you think you'll make that happen?" Jody asked again. She knew Sam was right. She knew there was no possible work-around. And she knew Sam and Dean were faced with hard decisions that had to be made.

"The bunker is safe. The safest place to be. Not even Lucifer himself can infiltrate this place. So she stays in here at all times and we focus on her training. No more hunts, no more visits to you guys, no more shopping trips, or eating out," Dean listed everything in a leaden tone, reaching for the bourbon and refilling his glass.

"And we'll focus more on her training, hunting skills too, but mainly her magic skills," Sam added, trying to bring everyone's focus onto the things they actually had control over.

"She has expressed interest in honing in her powers more," Castiel spoke for the first time.

Looking over at him, they'd all forgotten he'd been standing in the room.

"Yeah, I don't think we have much of a choice here anymore. She needs to improve her control and become more powerful if she's going to stand a chance against that fucker," Dean agreed.

Jody listened to all of this, expression thoughtful.

"What about Claire?" She asked after a few seconds of silence. She felt awkward shifting the focus away from Amber, but she couldn't help but worry over her own girl, too. And she felt like under the current circumstances, Claire might be too much for Sam and Dean to handle. Considering they needed to focus on their sister and Lucifer's threat.

"What about her?" Dean asked, not catching the meaning behind Jody's question.

"Boys, I appreciate everything you've done for her, for us, but don't you think you'll have enough on your plate as it is? I know we had discussed having Claire staying here a bit longer, but I'm not sure if that's feasible anymore," Jody explained herself.

"You want to take her back with you?" Dean asked, eyebrows furrowing. He turned to look at Sam who looked like he was mulling Jody's words over in his head.

"It's not about what I want, it's about what's best for everyone in this situation, Dean," Jody replied, trying to read his reaction.

"We already told you, the bunker is the safest place to be. Claire will be safe here. If that's what troubles you, it shouldn't. Nobody can get their hands on the girls as long as they're here. And they will stay here, inside. Even Claire understands the gravity of the situation," Dean countered. When Jody didn't offer any answer, he continued.

"I see no point in stopping her training. Not when she's doing so well. Not when we'll be focusing on training for the foreseeable future. She's improving, pretty good in fact, but she's not where she should be yet. She can still benefit from a few more weeks in here."

"And even more than that..." Sam added, "...if you let her stay, she'd offer an ounce of normalcy for Amber. They're friends and Amber desperately needs a friend around. And frankly, Claire is very smart. She has a great brain for research. She's a natural in her hand-to-hand training. She'll be a huge help to all of us in trying to figure out a plan to tackle Lucifer. We wouldn't include her in that fight of course. We'd never put her in so much danger, but... frankly, we'd really like her help in preparing for it."

Jody took all this in as she made her decision. Still reluctant, she finally nodded.

"Alright then. As long as Claire also agrees about staying with you guys, I'm fine with it. But I need you to make damn sure she doesn't set a single toe outside of the bunker. I'll drill this into her head too before going, but I need your promise you'll keep her safe."

"And you have our word. Neither her nor Amber will be exposed to any unnecessary danger. We won't allow it. I'm sure they realise how imperative it is to stay hidden in the bunker, especially under our current circumstances," was Sam's response.

Cas kept his face calm, as he listened to the hunters. And he felt the presence of the girls...just out of sight, listening and reacting to everything they were hearing. He had felt Amber approaching not long after Sam, Dean, and Jody had started talking things through. He'd sensed her feeling torn between stepping into the library to be an active participant in this discussion, but at the same time not feeling ready to. She feared she'd break down again, and she was tired of crying in front of everyone.

Claire was a steady pillar by her side. All of her snarkiness and attitude was being replaced by an intense need to support her friend and just be there for Amber. Not even when the discussion shifted to her did she think of leaving Amber alone. She remained next to her, a hand resting on Amber's shoulder as they both eavesdropped, digesting everything they heard.

Speaking directly into Amber's mind, Cas let her hear his direction.

"Amber, you and Claire can come up and join us. This is all about you."

Hearing the angel in her head, Amber was ambivalent. This was all overwhelming. Terrifying in its implications. And yet, this was exactly what she'd been training for.

Glancing at Claire as if to draw from the blonde's steady power, she inhaled a deep breath before finally taking the few steps leading up to the library. Claire followed behind her and the two of them approached the small gathering of adults, who all turned to watch their entrance.

"Hey, there," Sam said with a small smile, his eyes lingering on Amber's pale face. "We were just talking about you two and this whole situation."

"Yeah… We know. We heard you," Amber said in a quiet voice, before drawing out a chair and slumping into it, tiredly.

"And what do you think?" Sam asked, almost relieved they wouldn't have to repeat everything.

"I think there's little to be done. And practically no choice in this matter," Amber answered, listlessly. "It's like you said. All we can do is train, focus on my powers and figure out a way to kill that son of a bitch."

Dean glanced at Sam and the two of them nodded their agreement.

"And what about you, Claire?" Jody asked next. "Would you like to stay or come back home with me?"

"And leave them to figure this out on their own? They're dead meat without me," was Claire's confident response.

A laugh filled the air, the tension temporarily broken by the audacity of this brazen hunter.

Amber looked at Claire, a small smile spreading gently, easing the tension on her face for the first time in hours. Thank God she'd have Claire here with her.

"And you realise that it's imperative you don't make any break out attempts?" Jody stated, forcefully directing her words towards Claire.

"Yeah, yeah. No need to 'drill' that into my head. I'm not that dense. I can take the fucker down, but even I need to do some prep-work first. And I won't take the lead on this one," was Claire's response, eyes rolling. "I'll play by the rules. I promise."

Hearing the sincerity in her voice, Jody nodded, feeling confident this time she could really trust Claire's words.

"So… Freaky visions, mental breakdowns, devil being after us and all… Any chance we can get some?" Claire asked then, eyes glinting as she inclined her head towards the decanter of bourbon. Amber's eyes turned to her brothers, as well, hope spread across her face. God only knew how much she'd love a shot or ten right about now.

Jody was eyeing up the girls', both of their faces looking guarded yet hopeful. Law enforcement being her thing, there was no chance Jody was ok with this.

"Na huh. You know the rules Claire. I don't care if this is a difficult situation. All the more reason for you NOT to drink."

"You are." Claire was stating the obvious...in her confrontational way of calling out hypocrisy.

Cas, hoping to offer a reasonable compromise, spoke before Jody could answer.

"Maybe they can have a beer with dinner, like Dean let them have when we decorated for Christmas?"

Eyes growing large, Jody was looking from Dean to Sam and watched as these grown men shrunk down in their seats, the gaze of this fierce pixie throttling their defense.

"He what?"

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Turning the pages, smelling the ancient scent of an old book coming off of the pages, Amber was up in the library reading. It was the book she and Sam had found a couple weeks ago in that old bookshop. This was the book that had literally fallen off of an overhead shelf onto their heads, landing with the pages laid open to spellwork about archangels. And now that same book was on the table in front of her.

After a solid two-hours of cleaning shelves, not so much to appease Sam as to distract herself from anything Lucifer-related, Amber had again happened upon this book and decided to take a break. She hadn't had a chance to read a single page since they'd found it. Or rather, it had found them. How that happened, she still didn't know, but she wasn't going to fight what appeared to be Fortuna's provenance. The old gods and the magic of life were more real now that they were her everyday existence.

She remembered Sam thought this book might be useful to them in regards to facing Lucifer. And if there ever was a time to figure out if this was the case, it was now.

Her eyes scanned the cursive font and she didn't have to put in any conscious effort translating the Old French in front of her. She could simply understand every word and phrase. This book had numerous chapters on high magic. Topics she'd never encountered before. Stuff she doubted even Sam would know. Despite the overwhelming content, she knew there was a section about attenuating angels. She remembered from when Sam was leafing through it at the bookstore.

Scanning the chapter titles, trying to figure out where she'd be able to find that section, something entirely different caught Amber's eye. She traced her finger along the cursive title. Rituels pour contraindre les anges et autres entités. She whispered the words to herself, as if tasting them. Rituals to compel angels and other entities.

Before she had time to ponder on this, her phone vibrated, catching her attention. Reaching for it, she glanced at the screen, a small smile forming as she saw who was calling. Bringing the phone to her ear, swiping her finger on the screen to accept the call, she leaned back in her chair, tilting her head upwards.

"That's what I call good timing," she said in lieu of a greeting. "I really needed to hear your voi…"

"Where are you?" Kyle cut her off urgently, his voice having a strained edge Amber hadn't heard before.

Her brow furrowing at his tone, Amber's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Kyle, what's…"

"Where are you?" Was Kyle's frustrated question, his volume slightly elevating.

"Home! What the hell is your problem?" Amber snapped right back getting frustrated with his tone.

"Okay… Okay… So you're with your family, right?"

Amber's mouth opened and closed in utter confusion at how relieved he sounded all of a sudden. Sitting up straighter in her chair, gathering her legs up and settling indian style, she answered him more calmly this time.

"Yes! What's going on? Why are you so freaked out?"

As the words left her mouth, a suspicion started forming in her mind. Could he know what was going on? Could he have somehow also known that Lucifer was back? Did he know Lucifer was a threat to her? Or that he'd been gone for a while? All these questions dancing in her brain, she waited for his answer.

"So, you're home?"

Listening to Kyle's redundancy, Amber was mildly annoyed.

"Yes, Kyle, I just said so! What the hell is going on? Are you okay?"

Some frustration slipping into her voice, Amber racked her brain for a way to get answers without giving anything away.

A relieved exhale on the other side of the line confirmed to her that Kyle was really shaken.

"You need to stay there, okay? You need to lay low and I mean really low. It's super important," he finally told her

'No shit, Sherlock,' was Amber's silent thought.

"Kyle, you're freaking me out. What's going on? Do I need to know something?"

"Jeez Amber, just… Just stay put! Stay around your father and uncle, alright? It's the safest place for you right now!"

"I know that. But how the hell do you know that?" She shot back at him frustratedly.

"Doesn't matter," Kyle said with finality. "Are you alright?" He asked next, now sounding concerned.

"I... " Amber took in a steadying breath. She was feeling overwhelmed and confused by this conversation.

"No, no I'm not alright," she finally answered. She might not get any answers from him, but she could at least talk to him. And she really needed to talk to him.

"I'm fucked up and freaking out," she added quietly, her voice a low whisper, her eyes lowered, focusing on her hands, as she nervously started picking at a cuticle.

After a few silent seconds passed between them, Kyle responded, "You're gonna be alright, Ace."

Amber snorted at that. " 'Cause I got you on my side?" she asked, her tone now sharp. She wasn't sure if she had him on her side. She felt that she did, but she didn't know the details of why she felt this.

"Yes, cause you got me on your side. That's right. And you just gotta play this smart and start to listen to me for a change, alright? Shit is getting real, Amber."

"Are you gonna keep being annoyingly cryptic or are you gonna tell me what you know?"

"I can't tell you anything more. I just needed to make sure you're safe and...and I wanted to hear your voice." Kyle sounded genuine...and Amber needed more from him.

"That's not enough, Kyle. Nor is it gonna cut it," Amber shot back, her annoyance increasing with his outright obscuration of his knowledge of her life, safety, her situation.

"Amber...God Amber, just do what I'm asking. I'm glad you're freaking out. I mean, I'm not happy with everything you're going through, but I'm glad you're taking this seriously."

Pausing to listen to Amber's response on the other side, Kyle heard a slight catch in Amber's voice as she choked up. His heart twisting, Kyle felt helpless to do anything about this and he hated his helplessness. This had the effect of him doubling down on what he could do to keep her safe.

"Amber, I hate that this is freaking you out and I'm relieved you're taking this seriously."

She couldn't help it. Amber started to laugh in a rather sardonic way. She had all of these guys convening on her behalf and their only solution was to keep her wrapped in a cotton ball away from Lucifer. Their one solution to this multitude of danger. It was sadly ironic. And it was ridiculously ironic how she and Kyle kept dancing around a subject both of whom knew more about than they were willing to give away.

"I am taking it seriously. And you're interrupting my research for an actual solution. I'm done hiding and wishing the shit in my life to go away, Kyle. So if you don't have anything useful to tell me, let's end this pointless conversation."

"I wish I could see you. Be there right now," came his answer, his voice tender.

This caught Amber off guard. His tone shifted the energy of their interaction.

"Wanna go grab a coffee?" she asked, her voice playfully taunting, her smirk visible over the phone.

"Real funny, Ace."

"Bye, Kyle."

"I'll call you later, ok?"

"Sure." Her voice softening, she was feeling Kyle's concern for her...and her own attraction to him despite all of his subterfuge. "I'd like that."

Closing her phone, Amber reflected on the consistency of their communication. Kyle's routine to be affectionate in turn with his controlling, bossy manner, not unlike her brothers. And was it because he was so protective of her, like her brothers, that she found him even more attractive than his blond glory would normally incite. Amber's mind was scanning through all of their conversations, interactions, their arguments, their makeout sessions, their confrontations and his constantly being in the right place at the right time. She was convinced Kyle wasn't human, but he had enough human qualities, and vulnerabilities, much as he shared with her own Nephilim existence. What exactly was Kyle?

It was too much to think about right now. She stood up, needing to walk and move her body. She was thirsty. She'd get some water...maybe a beer...no, not a beer. She didn't want to risk getting caught with that and Jody would probably be cooking their dinner in the kitchen anyways. Grabbing the book, she headed out of the library. She'd find something in the kitchen, head to her room and see if she could refocus on this book.

This book felt like it was the key.

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"I loves me some Greek Hamburgers."

Talking with his mouth full, eyes dancing and corners of his mouth curling up at the ends, Dean was enjoying Jody's dinner.

"And I made some pie for later. I found some local apples, an obscure heirloom variety I've never heard of them, so we'll see how they taste in a pie." Jody had forgiven the boys and knowing she'd leave early next morning, she was in full on nurturing mode. Everyone in the bunker was feeling the soft comfort of Jody's presence and love.

"How's Alex?" Claire asked. Begrudgingly, her affection for Alex was squeaking out between the cracks of her hardass attitude. She hadn't fooled anybody about this, but she felt he had an image to keep up.

"She's fine. It's just for today after all. I'll be back home for lunch tomorrow," Jody replied. "I'm sure Alex is enjoying some 'Home Alone' time."

"And I'm sure my wine is safe, so don't even comment." Jody smiled slyly, having no trouble rubbing this in Claire's face.

A snort of laughter punctuated the kitchen as Claire reacted to this snarky humor. She couldn't say anything else. She'd been called on her shit. Jody could be wickedly funny sometimes, even if it was at Claire's own expense.

"Of course it is. Alex prefers beer anyways," Claire smirked, taking another huge bite of her burger.

"And I'm gonna pretend I never heard you saying that," Jody answered, shaking her head.

Sam watched the interaction quietly, his eyes shifting to Amber every other second. She was moving her food around her plate not having eaten more than three bites since they all sat down.

Amber's discomfort at this open discussion of past misdeeds was a tell.

Sam wondered how much of the truth he really knew. How much had Amber kept away from them? However, he felt her lack of appetite, and her clear discomfort had a lot more to do with an accumulation of events rather than any single one thing. This girl was like Atlas, bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders. Sam felt sad for the position Amber was in.

Following Sam's gaze, Jody noticed Amber holding her head up with one hand, staring at her plate, fork pushing her around food absentmindedly.

Claire saw the interactions at the table, taking them all in, cataloging them in her knowledge database for future leverage.

"You don't like the food, Amber?" Jody asked, her tone gentle.

Glancing up to the woman, Amber shook her head, "No, it's great, it really is. I'm just not really hungry."

"Are you sure? Because I can whip up something else if you'd like… It's been a long day for you. I don't want you going to bed without having eaten anything."

Amber's heart was kind of breaking at how much Jody was trying to reach her, to comfort her in the only way Amber was allowing her. She loved Jody so much. Cas, in a rare instance of eating, sat with them and was eating one of Jody's Greek Hamburgers. He had to admit it was delicious. Sitting there amongst them all, Cas felt Amber's overwhelming despair and pressure. Waves of angst were cascading off of her. It wasn't just the angel who could feel these massive tides of emotion.

"No, really, Jody. It's fine. I couldn't eat even if I tried right now," was Amber's honest response.

"Awww...honey. I wish I could do something for you." Reaching an arm out, Jody brushed the hair from the side of Amber's face, a gentle, maternal gesture of affection. Responding, Amber found herself leaning into her touch, feeling supported by this simple act of connection. Jody left her hand on the side of amber's cheek for a moment and then withdrew to allow Amber to pull herself together.

"Amber…" Sam tried next but was interrupted when his sister shook her head with a tight smile.

"It's okay, Sam. Really. Actually, I'm gonna head to my room," Amber said quietly as she stood from her seat.

Everyone remained watching her exiting the kitchen, suddenly not feeling really hungry either. Well, almost everyone. Dean leaned back in his chair, patting his stomach. Man's gotta eat. Kneeing his brother, Sam indicated that Dean should pay attention. Casting his attention around the room, Dean was assessing the group mood.

The brothers exchanged a look, the silent communication openly apparent and understood by Cas and Jody. Claire understood, too.

Claire glanced at the faces around her before getting up from her own chair.

"I'm done, too," she announced, standing up with the intention of heading to Amber's room.

"Hey, how about helping out with the dishes?" Dean was distributing clean up instructions.

"I'm sure you can handle that just fine on your own, Dean," Claire shot over her shoulder as she exited the kitchen, not bothering to look at him.

This left the adults in a confused quandary. "Dean, you were the one who asked for the hamburgers and the pie. It's only fair that you do the dishes, "Sam prompted. Dean had no rebuttal to this because it was true. The three adults continued to eat in silence.

Pausing outside of Amber's door, Claire inched her ear close to the wooden surface and listened. As expected she could hear the racked breathing and muffled crying she expected. Rolling her eyes, trying to get her own annoyed reaction to Amber's emotions under control, she knocked once before opening the door and stepping inside.

Amber was sobbing.

Some of her frustration melting at the sight of Amber, curled up on her bed, head shoved into her pillow, crying pitifully, Claire tried to figure out how to navigate this situation. She was shit at comforting people. She knew this much, but she could tell Amber needed some sort of support right now.

Walking to the bed, she sat near its foot, closest to Amber's feet, and stared at the wall across from her. What now?

"You really need to figure out some other way to deal with this shit, you know," she told Amber in what she hoped passed as a considerate tone. It wasn't.

Amber turned to look at her incredulously, her mind reeling, teary eyes not even knowing how to respond to that.

"I mean, yeah, this sucks…but instead of crying, don't you think we should start figuring out possible ways to face that fucker?"

Amber could hardly believe what she was hearing. Of course she was doing all of this.

"What do you think I've been doing all day, Claire? Other than obsessing over finding out how to face the fucker?" She answered, rubbing tears from her face, wiping her hand under her running nose.

"Crying, basically," was Claire's deadpan response.

"And I get it… but, dude, det your shit together. Do you wanna go shoot some rounds? Punch the shit out of each other in the training room? Just… You need to get it together. You're not alone."

Slightly amused by this, since Amber knew she could blast any opponent she encountered, she looked up and realized Claire was attempting, in a very clumsy way, to comfort her. It was kind of sweet...for Claire. And utterly ineffective.

"Claire… Thanks… But please get the hell out of my room. And get your people skills checked out at some point," Amber replied, voice hitching from the sobs that still shook her shoulders. She watched Claire glancing at her for a few seconds before finally standing up and walking towards the door, mumbling to herself as she exited Amber's room "Well, at least I tried."

Heading back towards the kitchen, Claire decided she'd get Sam on this. Of all the people in the bunker, Sam had the most diplomacy among the group. And Sam had a relationship with Amber that seemed to calm her down, build her up.

Not wanting to be looped into kitchen cleanup, Claire exercised stealth retracing her steps to the kitchen, listening for voices. She heard Dean and Jody in the kitchen, small splashes of water could be heard. Apparently they were doing dishes and talking quietly. Listening for Sam, she decided to search up in the library.

Sitting at the table, book open, Sam was reading while having a bourbon. It was his second, but with everything that had happened that day, he decided he'd indulge himself. Those upside down U's on his forehead were prominent as he read. Hearing someone approach, Sam looked up, surprised to see Claire walking over to him. Claire coming to him was unusual.

"Amber's having a meltdown. Well, another one, to be accurate. Thought you should know." Claire was efficient in her communication.

Musing on this glossed-over compassion, Sam smiled inwardly, understanding that Claire was being a good friend. Outwardly, he was receiving intel that he was needed to intervene where Claire felt inept.

"What's going on?" Sam needed details. He wished to assess how to approach this all.

"Oh… I thought you knew… Lucifer is after her, he's back on earth and all… Amber had a vision, spilled some coffee, I swear, I thought you were there," Claire said with an impressive roll of her eyes. She had little patience for stupid questions and these Winchesters were full of those and too dramatic for her liking.

Heaving a huge sigh, Sam closed his book, stood up, leveled his annoyed look at this girl. "Claire, cut the crap. Clearly you're worried about Amber. What's happening and where is she?"

"Her room. Falling apart. Thought you'd like to know."

Not saying anything more, still irritated by Claire's rudeness, Sam left down the stairs and headed towards Amber's room.

Claire was left standing there, looking after the departing hunter, wondering how this was all going to turn out. Scanning the room, she noticed the nearly full glass of bourbon. Not one to lose an opportunity, she lifted the glass and brought it to her lips. Hesitating for a second, thinking whether this was verging on being too disgusting, she decided alcohol would have killed any Sam germs and she drained it in one gulp. Leaving the glass where she'd found it, she left the room as fast as she could and headed to the kitchen, hoping to catch Jody still there.

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Knocking on Amber's bedroom door, Sam listened. He could hear some sniffling and wet sounds. Not getting a response, he knocked again.

"Amber, it's Sam. Can I come in?"

Not getting an immediate response, Sam knocked wishing to get Amber's attention. Still nothing, Sam raised his voice a bit. "Amber, I'm coming in."

Pushing the door, the room opening to his view, he found his sister pretty much as Claire had left her, curled up on her side, face buried in her pillow, sobbing. His heart tightened, feeling pain for her.

Sitting down at the end of her bed, Sam grabbed one of her feet and wrapped his big hand around it, giving it a little squeeze. He just held her foot, letting her cry some more. Sometimes this was all that was needed. He'd never gotten this, but he'd seen this in a movie somewhere and really connected with the gesture. Now he was offering it.

Feeling his grip on her foot, Amber felt oddly secure. She'd never had this done before and it was nice. Sam's presence in that moment, his discreet gesture, it felt like a security blanket. Soothing and warm. She let herself soak in his comfort as her tears started slowing and her brain clearing. A few minutes passed and she now felt like she could talk to Sam.

Face squished into her pillow, she opened up one eye. Sam was there, steady and waiting for her to feel right again. Scooting a bit closer to her, moving his hand up to her shoulder, he gave it a friendly squeeze.

"Hey, sit up. Let's talk a bit."

Shifting herself into a sitting position, Amber sat up.

"I know you're scared, We're all scared, but we've faced Lucifer before. More than once actually, before we met you. And we've even faced him together, remember? You even came up with the idea to involve Crowley and Rowena. We have defences, we can win this. You will survive this."

This last part was said with deep conviction and gravity. Amber felt the strength Sam was summoning into himself and she decided she'd anchor herself in this. She had to.

"Do you remember that book we found at the bookstore I took you to?"

"You mean the bookstore with the falling books and the mean, old guy? You met that woman? Chloe or something?"

Taken back by the mention of Chloe, Sam was a bit thrown off his point. Blinking, he did remember her...and he had a flash of personal memories of his night away from the bunker with her. But he needed to refocus.

"Yeah.." Clearing his throat, Sam was shifting his body back to mental focus rather than the involuntary response he felt stirring from these memories.

Amber studied her brother for a few seconds before reaching over to her nightstand, grabbed the Old French book and placed it on the bed between them.

"I found it when I started cleaning the library and spent some time studying it," she told Sam. It was all coming back to him now.

"Yeah, I think it will be a big help to us," Sam said, tracing a finger on the book's cover. Noticing a bookmark protruding from the top of it, he opened the book on that page and glanced at the title.

"Contraindre les anges…" Sam read part of the title aloud in a bad French accent. Turning to Amber with a questioning look he asked, "What does that mean?"

"Haven't read it yet, but supposedly it entails rituals for compelling angels and other entities," Amber explained in a hushed tone.

Sam was pleased to see she had managed to overcome her shock and fear and had actually sprang into some sort of action. Even if this spell didn't sound particularly helpful for tackling Lucifer, it still showed that Amber hadn't lost her will to fight.

"Well, I don't know how much this would help our situation, but I'm sure we'll find spells and rituals that do," he was trying his best to sound encouraging as he commented on his sister's find.

"This book is filled with high magic and with you being able to understand the language it's written in, I'm sure we'll figure out a game plan using it," he continued.

Amber didn't comment on his words. After all, this particular chapter had caught her attention for a different reason, one that was not Lucifer-related. But Sam didn't need to know about this. Not yet. Their discussion about her hiding things was still fresh in her mind, but she couldn't share this bit of information until she had actually figured things out. With everything that had happened that day, with everything in her mind so tangled and chaotic even she could barely figure out what she intended to do with this. But she'd eventually figure it out.

Shaking her head she focused on what she and Sam were discussing.

"I don't know Sam… He's not a random angel. He's not even a random archangel. We're talking Lucifer here… I mean… I uh….I really want to believe we can do this. I know you and Dean have faced him before… but he's still here, isn't he? And he's still a threat," Amber didn't bother to hide the fear and doubt in her tone. She was too spent to do that. And Sam felt safe to talk to. She could open up to him. About some things, anyway.

Placing the book on her lap, Amber leaned back against the metal headboard of her bed. The Cast Iron bed frame felt solid, eternal. Drifting in the moment, she reflected that this Iron bed frame would endure beyond her own physical body. She briefly imagined a post apocalyptic world of crumbling buildings, a darkened sky, humanity gone...and an iron bed frame, in perfect condition, sticking out of the rubble. She was indulging her depressive thoughts.

Slightly tapping her thigh, Sam pulled her back into focus.

"Hey, I see what you're doing. Don't. It won't help."

Amber shifted her eyes to his face, allowing Sam to break her despairing mood.

"And like I said, we have assets. More than you even realize. So, how about you get up, go grab a nice hot shower, clear your head and get some sleep? You really need the rest after everything that happened today. We can dive into this together first thing tomorrow. I'll have Cas look over this book and see if anything jumps out at him. We'll all be here along with you, you know. You're not alone in this."

Amber watched her brother getting up and extending a hand to her.

Knowing he had a point, and the idea of a hot shower sounding more than welcome at this point, she returned the book to her nightstand, and took his offered hand, letting Sam help her to her feet.

Drawing her to him, Sam enclosed her in a tight hug against his tall torso. Amber breathed in his comforting familiar smell and felt herself relaxing against him.

Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, Sam broke the embrace.

"I'll let you get ready for your shower. Get to sleep right after, alright? No more reading. Just try to empty your head and get some rest. We need our minds fresh and sharp tomorrow."

Nodding Amber smiled up at him.

"Will do. Goodnight Sam."

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"It says it right here, 'Upon smiting the left hand of the high angel, the avenger of truth may thwart his evil and subjugate his will to the will of God.' See, I told you."

Amber looked smug. She'd found this reference to binding a sinister-handed archangel, a left-handed archangel, and how this stopped all forward action of the said angel if the incantation was said during the hand-smiting.

"We'd have to catch Luci in a pretty private moment to smite that sinister left hand of his," Claire quipped from her chair, upon hearing Amber's words. Her mind immediately jumping to how hilariously inappropriate that line was written.

Amber chuckled at her comment, while Dean shot Claire an unimpressed look which only made her shrug.

"Does it say anything else, like how the incantation must be read, what language it must be said in...anything else?"

Sam, ignoring Claire, was digging for details. He knew it wasn't as simple as it was written. It never was.

"Something about the Moon of...during the Moon of the Sturgeon. What the hell is the 'Moon of a Sturgeon? What's a sturgeon?"

Smirk playing on his lips, Dean immediately answered that with, "Fish doctor."

Rolling his eyes, Sam felt like he was among eight-year olds. He shot a glare at his brother who, just like Claire, only shrugged.

"Can we all focus on this and cut the jokes?" was Sam's annoyed comment, glare shifting from Dean to Claire.

"We're just trying to make this fun," Claire said with a sideways smirk.

"A Sturgeon Moon is August's full moon," Sam explained to Amber. "Which means this incantation needs to channel energy from that particular celestial event to work."

"We're so not waiting for August," Amber said in disappointed frustration as she leafed through the book to find something else

"What this is referencing is more an intention to remove evil from your life, to cut it out and remove its influence and power over you," was Cas' encyclopedic statement.

Heart jumping, Dean, Sam, Claire and Amber all gasped at this sudden voice in close proximity to their conversation. They'd never gotten used to this. They all still jumped.

"So we don't need an August full moon?" Amber asked for clarification, her shoulders easing down from up around her ears.

Castiel shook his head. "I don't know. Magic is not my premise. But I do know that high magic is very intricate and needs to be handled with great care and attention to detail. I'm not sure if any of us is equipped to do that."

Amber turned to look at the angel with a helpless look, mouth gaping open for a few seconds.

"Then what the hell are we doing here? Are you saying this is pointless? Even if we do find something we won't be able to make it work?"

"No, I've read stuff like this before. And…"

Here Sam's mind trailed off. He knew who would know how to do this. He also knew he didn't trust her.

"Sam… It would be a huge risk to attempt to do any of these rituals yourself. You know that," was Castiel's pragmatic comment. "You may know some magic, but you're not a sorcerer. Not of the level needed for this kind of magic."

Bookmark in place, closing the book, Sam was taking a mental breather. This all needed digesting, contemplation...he needed to eat.

Dean saw what was going on and was all for a meal break.

"Why don't we take a break. I'll rustle us up some grub, get some more coffee in us, and then we can circle the wagons again."

Dean was grinning, scanning the seated occupants of the bunker, eyes happy as he was thinking about food. His was the only smile.

Considering Dean's suggestions, he thought this might be the break they needed to be able to return to this endeavor with a fresh mind.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea, Dean."

Walking into the kitchen first, Dean found Jody had quietly made herself at home...and had made a full breakfast spread of french toast, breakfast sausage, fried eggs pancakes and fresh coffee. Sitting on the table, in tiny pitchers, were hot maple syrup and what looked like cream. Plates were set out, each with it's own cup of coffee releasing swirling feathers of steam upwards. A cube of butter sat on a plate, glistening from coming to room temperature, having softened into that perfect state of softness.

The scent of dark coffee brewing was like a perfume to the mind. Dean was overcome with a nostalgia for something he always loved about this woman. Jody knew how to anchor people to a task and keep them supported even as the storms of life burst over the sides of the boat. Jody was a leader for hard times.

"Hey Dean. You guys ready to take a break and get some food into you?" Jody's cheerful dark eyes sparkled, a lovely smile spreading upon her face.

Looking at this person, who he and Sam had unintentionally hurt, and who had forgiven them, he felt so much appreciation and gratitude for her in their lives, Dean simply walked over to her, and gave her a huge, robust hug. He nearly hugged the stuffing out of her.

"Oof! Glad to see you like what I've made," was the sheriff's deadpan response.

Both hands on her shoulders, Dean was holding her at arm's length, looking Jody in the face, his look becoming deep.

"Jody, we're so sorry we lied to you. And..."

Looking over his shoulder at the table set and ready for breakfast, he was feeling undone by Jody's large heart.

"Dean, I'm not going to say I'm still not upset with you, 'cause I am. But I do understand the difficult position you and Sam were in. And...well, it was a hard call and I may have made the same call if I'd been in your position. What can I say? You're stuck with me."

Claire, entering the kitchen next, caught the last part of the woman's words and simply shook her head, before sitting down in the closest chair.

With a shake of her head she turned to Jody, "You're going soft, Jody."

Sam, Amber, and Cas filed into the kitchen and took in the waiting food, eyes big, smiles on their faces, as they found their usual seats around the large table.

Amber sat next to the angel with Sam grabbing the seat next on her other side. With Jody and Dean taking their seats last, the room went quiet as everyone focused on filling their plates with Jody's parting gift.

Amber turned to the sheriff after swallowing a huge bite of french toast.

"Oh my god, this is sooo good." Amber's eyes went big as she was eating her first bite. This was the best french toast she'd ever had.

"Little secrets and techniques from a lifetime of cooking." Jody was feeling good about her work.

"The unsalted butter and bacon fat the french toast was fried in combined to create a Maillard Reaction with the proteins of the cream and egg wash the bread was dipped in. It's a clever technique for a blend of flavors, smokiness, butter fat and milk solids to give the final effect a delicate, aromatic crunch. It's a good technique albeit a heart-clogging one if you consume it often."

Everyone looked at the angel after he finished this food chemistry lesson, casting their attention away. This was too much for the situation.

Cas sat in silence.

"I did use some bacon fat you boys keep in that can in the fridge. Some butter, too," Jody tossed in.

Here, Jody's enthusiasm seemed to ebb away, her magic having been leaked off by the angel's deep tech dive that nobody really wanted to hear.

Shifting the mood, Sam stepped in.

"Yeah, Jody. Thanks for cooking all this before leaving. You didn't have to. Honestly, after everything, we should have cooked for you," Sam added with an appreciative smile.

Jody waved a dismissing hand at him. "It was no trouble. I enjoyed doing it. You guys have enough to deal with as it is."

"You sure you can't stay for lunch?" Claire asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"No, honey. I'm already needed back at work. And with everything that has come up, I don't feel comfortable leaving Alex on her own for too long," was Jody's answer. After a long sip of coffee she added, "Plus, I need to keep an eye out in Sioux Falls for anything shady that might link up to our situation here. I'm leaving as soon as we're done with breakfast."

"You expect demonic activity in Sioux Falls?" Sam asked after swallowing his bite of eggs.

"Well, considering Amber's been there twice now...and you remember that bouncer from her birthday ended up being a demon… my guess is more of them will be stationed around town keeping an eye on things. Especially now that Lucifer is back."

"You keep us posted," was Dean's response to that. "And you be careful, alright? If you need backup…"

"If I need backup, I know where to get it, Dean," Jody shot him down with a raised eyebrow. "I've been a hunter for a long time now. I know my people and I know how to take care of myself and my town."

Plastering an appeasing smile on his face, Dean raised up his palms in a gesture of 'you win'. "Yes ma'am," was barely understood around the food Dean had in his mouth.

Amber watched the interaction without really focusing on what was being said, her mind still on what they were discussing up in the library.

"Hey, Cas?" She addressed the angel quietly as the rest kept talking about Jody's plans for Sioux Falls.

"Yes?"

"Where do you think we can find one of those sorcerers or witches or whatever? The ones you said can handle the book's high magic?"

"It's not like they live in nests, Amber. Most of these people are powerful with a lot of enemies. Most of their enemies are hunters. It won't be easy to find someone we don't already know," Castiel replied.

Something in his response clicked, Amber pushed with, "Does that mean there is someone we already know?"

Cocking his head as he considered Amber's question, Cas came to the one conclusion. "Rowena is a witch of high power. She would know exactly how to perform this ritual and how to maximize the timing of the moon phases."

As if the sound of the witch's name caused an alarm to go off, both Sam and Dean shifted their attention entirely to Cas and Amber.

Amber looked at them and knew by their darkened expressions, they didn't like the angel's proposal. They didn't like it at all. In all honesty, she wasn't sure she liked it herself. She'd almost died in Rowena's hands. Even though she'd helped them trap Lucifer in the ocean a couple months ago, the idea of trusting Rowena with this book, with helping them fight Lucifer, scared the shit out of her.

"Rowena can't be trusted," Dean growled.

"She helped us before, Dean. She helped trapping Lucifer in the ocean," was Castiel's pragmatic response.

"She also almost killed Amber," Sam countered, matter-of-factly.

"A fact we knew when we asked for her help to trap Lucifer," Castiel replied. "And she still helped us."

"Only to appease us and not worry we'll go after her for what she almost did to Amber," Dean said, exasperatedly.

"She still helped us, though," Amber said quietly, drawing everyone's eyes on her.

"Look, I'm not saying she's trustworthy or the ideal choice...but she's our only choice, isn't she?" Amber continued. "I'm not too happy about the prospect of working with her either, but what choice do we have?"

The brothers exchanged a look as they contemplated her words. They knew she and Cas were right. They also knew they didn't like this.

"And with Lucifer back we'll need Crowley, too. He'll have intel we won't be able to gain on our own. He has the means to follow Lucifer's movement and he's as invested as we are in getting him out of the picture," Castiel added.

"Castiel is right, you know," Jody offered her opinion as the brothers mulled all these over. "I'm not into working with demons or witches, not in the slightest, but you guys have done this before. And I think what you're up against this time more than justifies the means. Plus, you've worked with these two before. You know how to handle them."

"Amber could kinda kill them if she wanted to, right?" Claire chimed in. "You know, if they become a threat or whatever."

"I don't think Amber is that strong yet. Both Rowena and Crowley are powerful. But…" here Cas paused, considering the pros and cons, "She will get to the point where she will be able to smite them if she chooses to, that is true," Castiel interjected.

"Can't wait," Amber mumbled.

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'...the left hand of the smitten, being where the greatest evil and the greatest desire resides, will be bound. And being bound, the hand of righteousness will prevail and be wielded by the one who commands the bound.'

Augh! Amber was getting a headache from this cryptic old French. Why didn't it just say what it meant?

Sitting up, needing a break deciphering the occult meaning in these phrases, Amber yawned. Stretching out her left arm above her head, she stretched her back, causing several cracking sounds as she relieved the cramped muscles in her back and neck. Jaw wide, that familiar deafening point as she yawned her widest, she felt reset, her arms and back feeling good and stretched.

Recovering, she felt she needed to rest her mind. Reading in French, even in Old French, wasn't a problem. All languages were known to the angels and even more widely understood by the Nephilim. This encrypted meaning, that was a different ballgame entirely. This was human-devised and more squirrely.

Picking up her phone, she idly scrolled down her texts. The ones she'd kept at least.

She'd deleted anything that she feared might raise questions. If Sam broke his promise when checking her phone for that ghost app for what he was suspecting he might find, she wanted nothing incriminating to be searchable.

She kept scrolling, mostly out of habit. She hadn't had a text from anyone since Kyle and Emily. There were their texts...and she was remembering the contexts of these past messages.

Remembering the problem Kyle's ironically perfect 'weapon' had created for her with her brothers, Amber smiled to herself. How the hell did someone just happen to have a golden mace? Lingering on the memory of his face, on the handsome Kyle she remembered kissing in the bookstore, her chest filled with happiness. Their sneaking around...right under Sam's nose was fun...and added to the juiciness of their clandestine makeout session.

Instantly the phone's ring sounded in the tiny bedroom and Amber quickly silenced it, flipping it open. It was Kyle.

"Kyle?"

"How you doing, Ace? Keeping safe at home?"

Of course Kyle would feel her thinking about him and call her.

Amber felt a burst of anger welling up in her mind. Kyle loved this game. Pissing Amber off, getting her riled up, then disappearing...this was his go to and she knew it.

"No, I've been parading around Lebanon all day. Doing my best Lady Godiva impression. Sorry you missed it." Amber rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm home. Quit acting like my dad, will you?"

Laugh like a gunshot, Kyle couldn't help himself. "Well, I hope your dad doesn't kiss you like I do. That would just be creepy. Truly sorry I missed your ride through town. How'd Dean take that?"

Amber laughed out loud, Kyle's quick mind doing the double-tap on this edgy humor. Amber could feel Kyle's satisfaction in making her laugh.

Relaxing at the sound of his voice, Amber exorcised those images from her mind, cringing at the mere thought. Relishing the sound of his dry wit, she focused in another direction instead. She had some serious stuff on her mind. Powerful things she had to figure out.

"I'm trying to figure out how to save the world. My own life, too, hopefully" she said, her low sigh was Kyle's indication of her flagging hope.

He felt she had a weighty burden she wasn't sharing with him.

"Seriously, Amber, you are staying at home, right? You're safe?"

"I am. Is this all you called about?" She asked him, tiredness in her voice.

"No, not at all. I just kinda felt you thinking about me and wanted to talk to you."

"Felt me thinking about you, huh? Well, did you happen to also feel me giving up on understanding what the fuck I'm reading?" Amber didn't even know she was going to say this. Why would she just say this? Shit!

"What? What are you reading? What's the problem?"

Pausing to consider if she really wished to include Kyle in this...not having figured out exactly what he was or where he stood in all of this, Amber was intrinsically guided to remember all the times he'd saved her life. He'd chosen to protect her, save her...and by extension...her family, too. Kyle had come through for her every single time...even if he did act like a dick during some of it.

Whatever Kyle was, he was on her side.

"OK, Kyle. You really want to know?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"So, here's the deal…".

Amber explained everything about the book, without disclosing who they needed to target with it. She told him about the complicated spellwork and how difficult it had been to decipher the occult language that was intended to keep the truth from the prying eyes of the church, from neophytes who would cause problems summoning the wrong entity, from fools.

Listening to Amber's explanation, Kyle grew grave. Somber. The gravity of Amber's situation hadn't been lost on him. He'd been panicking when he'd called last, knowing that Lucifer walked the earth again. And now he understood a larger part of Amber's role in returning Lucifer to the cage. She was playing a pivotal role that was equal to her power...larger than she even understood. Kyle understood it. It wasn't long ago that he'd been tasked with seeing to it her power could be harnessed for another purpose.

"So, you're still on your angel hating crusade? Trying to figure out how to 'Rule 'em All'?" Kyle commented, keeping his real conclusions about what she'd shared to himself.

"Not rule 'em all… Not necessarily. But we might end up facing a pretty hard one to kill, as you might already know judging by how invested you are in having me locked away at home," Amber replied as evasively as she could. "And considering that knife you gave me won't do the job, I have to figure something else out.

Deciding to leave it at that, and not challenge her answer, risking to give away more than he should, Kyle thought about what she'd shared.

"Amber, will you level with me?"

Kyle's sincerity, tinged with fear and concern, caught her heart. Kyle was scared for her. And from the tone of his voice, Kyle wished to help.

"About what?"

"Don't play games here. I can tell you're in deep shit. Amber, you are in so much danger already. Just...don't play games with me. I might be able to help. More than you realize."

Seriously doubting there was anything he'd be able to offer, Amber started reciting the last passage she'd read.

'...the left hand of the smitten, being where the greatest evil and the greatest desire resides, will be bound. And being bound, the hand of righteousness will prevail and be wielded by the one who commands the bound.'

Kyle listened carefully and he realised what the problem was.

He wasn't an expert by any means, but in his time, he'd come across powerful witches, and had heard about high magic. More than Amber or the Winchesters ever had.

"Okay… So you need to think of this as very elaborate riddles. Every word has up to six possible meanings. You need to pinpoint the subtext and meaning of at least a few major words that come up in this passage. Once you have that you have a context and a clue to decipher the rest of the words in the remaining passages. For example "left" can mean "evil" or "weak". It can also mean "hidden"," Kyle paused to make sure that Amber was following. When she didn't interrupt, he continued.

"Hand usually refers to the person performing the ritual. It's usually the "doer". It has other meanings too, but I only know of that one. Consider that your opponent, and they're going to be highly intelligent entities, are not going to let you see their strength. Appearing weak is their best disguise. What appears weak is not to be trusted. Weakness can hide deep evil."

"Fuck… I thought all I had to do was translate the stupid French," Amber mumbled. "We'll never figure this out in time."

"In time for what?"

"I wish I knew," Amber sighed. "Our intel is limited and that's another problem altogether."

Kyle heard the discouragement in her tone and his heart clenched.

"Amber, you're scaring me. Where are you?"

"I'm safe, Kyle, I'm safe. For fuck's sake, stop asking me that!"

"No...Amber, where geographically are you? I wanna see you."

"What's up? Can't you just spot me and pop up randomly like you always do?"

"No. I can't if you're in a warded place and you 'are in a warded place'. I can't unless you disclose your location."

This phrase rang through her mind...Amber remembered hearing this from one of her brothers. She'd heard this in reference to supernatural entities entering the bunker.

When she first moved in, Sam reassured her no demons nor angels could simply find her and teleport into the bunker. Not unless he or Dean disclosed the bunker's location to them first. And how Sam and Dean had summoned Crowley instead of asking him to come over, that has been a spell. That way not even he could come and go as he pleased into the bunker. He had to be summoned in. This way their home remained the safest place there was.

"I can't tell you where I am. And I can't see you right now. There's a bunch of people around. I can't risk it."

"Ok, I get it. Yeah, timing is off. I still want to see you."

Hearing his voice, her own feelings roiling around in her heart and her loins, Amber wished she could invite him in. She really did. God, she wanted him here!

"I'll see how I can make that happen. But not today. Not now."

Barging in, her door suddenly opening, Claire's instant presence in her room made Amber sit up straight in her bed. Heart pounding in her chest, fear of getting caught talking to Kyle, Amber whispered, "I have to go," and snapped her phone closed.

Her brain finally processing who the intruder was, Amber glared at Claire who had already stepped inside, closed the door behind her and plopped on the bed.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Amber barked at the rude blonde.

"Did I interrupt your, 'no-you-hang-up-first's'?" Claire asked with a sardonic smile, completely brushing off Amber's anger.

"God, you're insufferable," Amber said with a shake of her head, even though she'd had to make an actual effort to keep herself from smirking. That was pretty funny.

"Saw your light on and I was bored," Claire said. "Thought you'd been frying your brain with that book and came in to save you."

"Gee, thanks for your ongoing consideration." Amber smirked at this, needing to get her point across, still irked by Claire's rude entrance, yet she did appreciate the thought behind it. A badly executed kindness.

"I planned to sneak you a beer, but the guard dogs are still up. Sam's up in the library and Dean was making noises in the kitchen."

"Well, at least you had honourable intentions," Amber sighed, Claire's sideways smile meeting the wiley spark in her own eyes.

"You bummed Jody's gone?" Amber asked.

"You've been poking around my head?" Claire asked back, eyebrows frowning.

Rolling her eyes, Amber shook her head.

"Didn't have to. If I'm bummed she left, I bet you're ten times worse."

"Nuh… you're a drama queen. Ten times worse is way too much. Maybe two times."

Claire's voice lowering, a serious tone framing Claire's feelings. " I do miss her. It's not like...you know…" and here Claire stopped herself. "I'm good." Amber did buy Claire's bullshit.

A knock on the door yanked the girls out of their moment before Amber had a chance to push for more sharing.

"What's with my god-damn room tonight?" she mumbled, before calling out, "Yeah?"

"I come bearing gifts" Dean playfully offered from the other side of the door.

Looking at each other, the girls were confused. Dean, bearing gifts? What was he up to?

"Come in, but they'd better be good gifts or you're outta here," was Amber's mildly annoyed attitude. She wasn't expecting anything fun from Dean, completely forgetting the long-ago shopping trip and their recent breakfast had been his idea. Amber held a bad grudge longer than she remembered good times.

"Hey, don't let me rain on your parade. I can drink these myself," was Dean's sarcastic response, pushing his way into the room. His hands were full with three opened beers. Dean was met with a universal look of disbelief.

Stepping fully inside and closing the door behind him with his foot, Dean's cockeyed happy smile lit up his face. It was charmingly silly.

Stunned into silence, the girls just looked at him, this being nothing of what they'd expected.

Characteristically, Claire was the first to recover and knowing a good thing when she saw it, Claire grabbing one bottle out of his hands. She looked Dean in the eyes, smiled and took a sip from the bottle. Keeping one for himself while extending the remaining beer to Amber, Dean dipped his chin, indicating that Amber should take it. Hesitantly, Amber accepted the bottle, lifting it for a deep drink.

'Entrance fee' distributed, Dean decided he'd get the ball rolling on why he was there.

"So, you two got a moment?" Dean asked, indicating he'd like to come in and talk. Tilting the bottle back down, Amber nodded, still swallowing her beer.

"What's the occasion? Need help retrieving your stash of dungeon porn from a hole Sam buried it in?" Claire was just making shit up...and preferred anything that would unnerve him.

"What? Oh...no. No! Goddammit...Claire! What do you think I am?" Dean was flustered and the evil grin on Claire's face let him know he'd been had.

"I think you're a perv."

Claire's economy of words cut to the heart of Dean's purpose...although obliquely.

Taking in a large breath, Dean was bracing himself for how this overdue conversation would go. Walking to Amber's desk he took the chair out and placed it close to the bed. Sitting on it, he took a sip of his own beer.

"Well, that's not exactly what I want to talk to you two about, but close enough."

Dean's sincere look and relaxed stance silenced Claire's snark. He was being serious and the girls felt the need to give this moment the respect it deserved. It wasn't often they had a sincere, reflective Dean.

"So, I blew it on Christmas."

"You can say that again," Claire muttered under her breath, eyes looking off to the other side of the room. Amber sat silently where she was, arms crossed, her own beer barely touched. This was unusual for Dean and she wished to hear what he had to say.

Glaring at the blonde, Dean felt annoyed by her attitude. He knew Claire had some lingering resentment she still harboured about that day. Both she and Amber had. But he was trying here and he was not a patient man.

"Hey, I'm trying to say something here," he responded curtly.

"Then say it," Claire stated.

A draining feeling in the pit of his stomach, Dean considered if he was making a mistake. His good intention was going south quick.

"Hey!" Dean barked, his voice deeper than it had been. He was getting pissed. "You keep quiet and listen, alright? I'm trying to make things right between us and you're giving me shit."

Now it was Claire who became quiet.

"Alright. Now that I have your attention," and here Dean cast an annoyed look at Claire, "I know you two have been mad at me for a while now… for leaving the way I did on Christmas. And when I did."

Neither girl interrupted him, so he went on.

"I know it was our first Christmas as a family. But I didn't think about how things would be for you. I just..." and here Dean trailed off.

He hadn't thought about how his disappearance would feel to them. This had never been an issue before. He'd only ever had to consider Sammy and they'd long since worked out their bachelor's Christmas gift...with or without the New Year's Day STD clinic appointment.

"It was a shitty thing to do that I didn't really think over, that's what I'm trying to say. And it pissed you off as it should have…" Dean trailed again, still trying to figure how to word what he wanted to say.

Eyes serious and expression hard, Amber asked, "Are you trying to apologise?"

"Is it working?" Dean asked back.

"It might if you say the magic words," Claire quipped, not even bothering to hide how much she enjoyed his discomfort. If she had managed to grow the balls to apologise to him for stealing his car, he sure as hell could find his own pair and do the same. Really, it was the least he could do.

Letting out a sigh, finger tapping against his beer bottle, Dean finally nodded.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. There. Happy?"

Amber and Claire exchanged a look. They were both surprised, annoyed, and amused at the same time. An apologising Dean was a very rare occurrence and they both knew it.

"Well?" Dean prompted when both girls remained silent.

"You know… Someone wise once said, that 'an apology is lame and not enough and can't fix anything…'," Amber said, looking her brother straight in the eyes.

Cracking a small smile upon remembering who that 'wise someone' was and the context of that conversation, Dean raised his bottle.

"Which is why I brought you beer."

"So you're bribing us?" Claire asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Depends. Is it working?" Dean asked, eyes shifting to the blonde.

Claire thought this over before tilting her head to the side and finally nodding.

"It kind of does," she said.

"Yeah… It kind of does," Amber repeated her words, offering her oldest brother a small smile.

Relieved, a smile spreading on his face, Dean extended his beer towards the girls. The three of them clinked the bottle necks together in a toast before taking a long sip.

Getting to his feet, Dean returned the chair to the desk and walked to the door. Before opening it, he turned to the girls once more.

"Get some sleep soon. And don't let Sam catch you with those," he indicated the beers in their hands, "Or he'll have all our heads."

꧁ W ꧂꧁ T ꧂꧁ W ꧂꧁ T ꧂꧁ A ꧂

How was this chapter folks? Any surprises?

The episode had sweet moments, angst, anger, confusion, frustration...all the feels.

Which was your favorite scene? Why?

Was Jody too easy on them all?

Is Kyle too concerned for Amber's safety or just a duplicitous douche?

Can you say "Duplicitous Douche" 3X - Fast?

Can you guess where this is going? Bwah ha ha ha. We have so many things planned for the remainder of this story. (Rubbing our hands together in a scheming fashion.)

Did you notice?

We're back on track to our '1st of the Month' posting schedule and we feel accomplished. It took Herculean effort on both of our parts. Work has been crazeee.

We love you guys and hope your own lockdown is going better than Amber's. It's rough. Here is our contribution to relieving your personal angst.

Until our next episode, please keep yourselves well, be safe and know you are important in this world. No early departures, please.

Warmly,

~ MarionLuth & LauWhisperer