So last chapter I posted a day before the grand finale of Supernatural, and this one being after the end of it, I have to admit I did not care for it. I didn't care for the plot of season 15 at all, really. Chuck suddenly being an evil, amoral and sadistic dick despite the friendly interactions he had with the brothers before, being convinced by Metatron to literally risk his life and very existence to save the world, the heart-to-heart with his son that he says he loves despite all the evil he did, and suddenly that's all retconned away as fake. The biggest issue against him is the fact he does nothing, or very little, to help people and that's bad but when Jack takes over and says directly he's not going to be hands on or do anything either, he's depicted as wise and benevolent. Jack has God's powers and foresight now, but doesn't think to warn Dean to be careful on the next hunt around rusty nails and vampires sitting around in their own home in goofy masks for some reason. Dean, who has made it clear he doesn't want Heaven but wants to live and make a difference, is suddenly okay with going to Heaven forever and not trying to leave, because suddenly Jack is in charge or whatever reason he had that they didn't bother to even try to explain. This is even harder to swallow considering Kripke made it clear in interviews from the start that God did good, and he did it through the hunters that worked hard to keep the world safe. So it's a flagrant retcon by Dabb so he could put his own original character in charge of the universe that he utterly failed to take over with his god awful spinoffs.

I have several more issues with the episode and season as a whole, and I might write a full essay on it later to break it down. For a dark moment I actually seriously considered stopping this story and my others and leaving this fandom behind, that upset, but I know I have to continue them. I have to give the boys the story and ending they deserve. I have to show support for my fellow fans. I have to remember that I love the show and the characters that made it possible, and to make something better from this experience.

I also have to state this right now, like Gabriel not being captured by a Demon Prince and ignoring that part in canon, I will NOT being using 'God is Evil' here. I mention this because this chapter ironically deals with idea of God, and has Sam talk to Gabriel about it but I didn't want my planned chapter to potentially confuse anyone. Seasons 13-15 will be largely ignored on the whole, with only a few details taken from it. I planned Gabriel's appearance to be a pleasant surprise for the readers but I felt laying that down now was more important.

Chapter 28: Together

The sight of Sarah hurt sent Sam into a panic that he was only able to keep contained due to years of being trained as a hunter and how to act rationally during a crisis. Even if he was terrified for her, he knew he had to keep himself under control if he was going to be any help.

He yanked off his jacket and then outer shirt to put the fabric to her head to try and stop the bleeding. His other hand moved to her neck, checking desperately for a sign of life. What the hell had happened? He looked up to the railing attached to the stairs, leading up to the second floor. Had she jumped from it? No, why would she do that? Damn it, he should never have left her alone!

He felt the beating of her pulse against his fingers, causing him to allow himself to breathe again. She wasn't dead. He could save her. The hunter pulled out his phone and dialed 911, quickly giving the address to the dispatcher so they could send an ambulance.

"Sarah," he breathed to her. "Come on. Come on, you can fight this. You'll be okay, just hang on, please."

It felt like an eternity before he heard the sirens and two paramedics rushed in to help, putting her on a gurney to get her outside and into the ambulance. Sam didn't even have to argue to get inside of it with her, lying quickly to say he was a family member of hers and sitting off to the side as the paramedics worked on her as they sped off to the closet hospital. He wasn't able to stay with her once they reached an emergency room, a nurse holding him back and telling he would have to wait until they knew for sure if she would be okay or not.

It left him pacing for a while, breathing deeply as he pulled out his phone and with trembling fingers, dialed the one he'd given to Emma to keep in contact.

"Uncle?" she asked immediately once she answered.

"Emma," he breathed. "Look, I need you to come to New Paltz General Hospital."

"The hospital? Why? What happened?" she asked, her voice immediately filled with concern.

"It's Sarah. I found her at the auction house. I think she might have tried to hurt herself. Look, I can't talk too much here. Just get down here, alright? I need you to keep an eye on her so I can get back. There's something definitely in that place."

"I'll get the front lobby to call me a cab," she promised him. "Be there as soon as I can, promise."

"Be careful," he warned. "I think Blaise might still be active."

"I will be. You too," she replied before the line went dead.

He felt like he was about the point of wanting to burst into the emergency room himself to see if she was okay when the same nurse from before approached him.

"Is she okay? Tell me she's okay," he said immediately, not even waiting for her to open her mouth.

"She's going to be fine," the nurse assured him. "It looked much worse than what it was. She has a linear skull fracture, some bleeding, but nothing life threatening. She also has some mild injuries on her leg, some bruising on her thigh from where she hit the railing."

"Hit the railing?" he asked. Then she hadn't jumped?

"It looks like she fainted, and tumbled off the side before she hit her head. She's very lucky, considering everything, but she'll be fully recovered and able to resume normal actions in a few days," he was promised.

A wave of relief hit him, not only for her being okay, but knowing that Blaise hadn't gotten to her. At least, it sounded like it. It didn't seem to fit the profile anyway, but he knew he still had to get down there later on to be sure.

"Do you know how she might have gotten in that condition in the first place?" the nurse asked.

"Oh, well she's been working extra hours right now," Sam admitted. "Not getting much sleep, and I'm not sure how well she's been eating the last couple of days. It doesn't seem like she was taking a break to do much."

"I see. Well, we have an IV in her and have her resting. With her already existing condition she's going to need to take care of herself anyway," the nurse explained. "But we can go over the details with the two of you later on when she's awake."

"Wait, condition? What condition?" he asked her.

"Your wife is expecting, you see. She came in for a check-up about a week ago and had some blood-work done. We were going to be mailing her the results in a couple of days."

Sam stood there, feeling like the floor had fallen out from underneath of him. They thought he was her husband? Of course. He had lied about being family, and they looked nothing alike. It was the logical conclusion after all.

Sarah was pregnant.

She was having a baby.

She had a life.

What was he doing here? Why was he even… What had he even hoped for?

"Sir?" the nurse asked, but he could only shake his head sluggishly.

"I'm… I'm not her… husband," he breathed out in ragged breaths. His heart felt tight in her chest, constricted and trapped by his own rib-cage. "She's married but not to… not to me."

The woman looked surprised but before either of them could say anything, the doors to the waiting room burst open and a man ran inside. He was tall and clean cut, dressed in black military cut pants and t-shirt with the name Ian printed on it. Panting hard, he ran up to the check-in desk. It looked like he had literally run a marathon to get here.

"Where's my wife?" he asked the nurse there. "I was called and told that she fell and hit her hear. Her name is Sarah-"

Something in Sam blacked out, even as he stood there, fully conscious. He didn't seem to hear anything anymore, was just… there. It was like he existed but there was nothing there that could affect him any longer. It felt numb, like there wasn't a single physical experience that could even hope to touch him.

"I… I need to go," he said, his eyes never leaving Ian. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have even come to this state. He was intruding on something that was no longer his, had never really been his in the first place.

If the nurse said anything else to him, he didn't even hear it before he started to walk away, his steps purposeful to take him away from this place. He needed to leave, needed to get away and never look back. He never should have come here in the first place, all for a hope of something that had been taken out of him before he ever had a chance to fully grasp it.

All that was on his mind now was getting the job done. Make sure there was nothing else in the shop and get the hell out of this town, this whole damn state.

Arriving at the auction house, he wasn't sure even why he'd come. The tool set had been destroyed, and the news article on Blaise's death had stated clearly that he had been cremated. There was nothing left to do. Sarah's fall had been an accident, caused by something as simple as not taking proper care of herself. It was something that happened every day, and more importantly had nothing to do with Sam in the slightest.

That fact burned inside of him more than anything. She had a family, a good one, and he had nothing to show for the last few years other than pain and despair, scars on his soul and mind that would never be completely washed away.

"You know deep down, you never should have been rescued from Hell. You deserved to go there. You broke the world, your brother, everything, and you didn't even have the decency to die properly for it."

The temperature of the room seemed to plunge down around him, leaving his breath visible as it escaped shakily past his lips. Some lights flickered and popped around him, but he couldn't even pay attention to it, feeling like a black hole was swallowing up.

How could he have hoped to have something special with Sarah, with anyone? He broke everything around him. He was only still alive because everyone around him sacrificed themselves for him, and how did he even repay them? How had he repaid Dean? By following Ruby, the demon that his brother had told him from the start he could not trust and needed to stay away from. He'd ignored every warning about his powers, broken so many promises to his brother…

He didn't deserve to still be here while Dean was gone, should have taken his place. He should have…

He needed to…

Swallowing deeply, he knew deep down there was only one way to make up for it, and it wasn't chasing a second chance with a woman who would be better off with him or by pulling some innocent girl into this existence with him that he'd tried so hard to escape. He needed to end it, just end all of it. It was the only thing that would make his sins wash away.

He could save Emma from all of this, and purge himself of his mistakes at the same time.

It was already late when the Amazon arrived at the hospital. She had to ask for where Sarah was, explaining herself away as a concerned friend who'd heard that the woman had gotten hurt. Being told that she'd been moved for rest and recovery, the teenager got a room number and instructions on how to get there before heading off.

"Hello?" she called softly as she poked her head into the open doorway once she reached it. She saw Sarah on the bed with a man sitting next to her. The woman was awake, resting with some pillows against her back and a bandage wrapped around her head. "Sarah, what happened?"

"Who are you?" the man asked as he looked up at her.

Emma stepped into the room fully, wondering who this guy was.

"I'm Emma," she explained. "I met Sarah yesterday at the auction, with my uncle Sam."

"Hey, Emma," Sarah said, her voice a little soft but steady enough. "Thanks for coming. Where's Sam?"

"I don't know. He called me and told me to come here and check up on you, but I haven't seen him. I was hoping he was with you," she admitted. Had he left already?

"The nurses told me someone called an ambulance and came in with me. It must have been him," she breathed before looking to the man sitting next to her. "Ian, this is Emma. She's the niece of an old friend of mine in town. He must have been the one to find me."

"I'm going to have to thank him when we meet," he said softly as he took her hand and gently stroked it. "To think I could have lost you. You're going to have to take better care of yourself. I know you're upset about Justin, but other people can help you carry this weight."

Emma felt she was witness to what should have been a very private moment, but honestly she was more concerned about her uncle. Had he left for the shop before she had gotten here? Wouldn't it have been better to make sure there was someone who could keep an eye on Sarah instead of just leaving her undefended? Maybe he'd been in a rush and trusted her to get there quickly.

Still, she felt like she should call him. Pulling out her phone and pressing the redial button, she waited as it rang and rang. When it went to voicemail, she hung up and called again only to get the exact same response as before. Was he not answering on purpose or was he just too busy to be able to?

Part of her told her that she should leave and look for him, but she'd been ordered to keep an eye on Sarah. She'd just to stay here and hope that her uncle got in contact with her soon. With salt in her pockets, she wanted to start pouring it around to keep out any potential intruders but she didn't have any hope of doing it without concerning this Ian guy. Unless he was in the know? Should she explain herself, or would that just make her look crazy and get her kicked out?

It's not like she could just ask, and she had to be sure that she stayed here until she knew Sarah was safe and the job was done for real this time. Best to err on the side of caution. If anything started to happen she would have to take care of it then.

"Is it okay if I wait here?" she asked the two of them, preferring to stay in the room than the hallway. It would be easier to keep an eye on the things from the inside. Luckily Sarah nodded her head slowly in affirmation.

She settled down in the corner, trying not to draw too much attention to herself. She felt like she was waiting for something but she wasn't sure what. Sarah didn't do much, resting for most of the night, falling asleep eventually as Ian watched over her.

"So, this Sam guy? An old friend of hers?" he asked, causing Emma to look over at him from where she'd been watching the window. She'd tried to call Sam a few more times with no answer and she was starting to get kind of worried. He should have gotten back in touch with her by now.

"Apparently," she answered. She hadn't even been alive when they'd met, but there was no reason to mention that little detail. "I only just found out about her myself. Did she never mention him to you?"

"Can't say that she has," he stated. He looked tired to the teen and she considered asking him if he wanted to sleep, but didn't figure he'd go for it. "I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, I'm just not sure exactly why you're here. A niece of a friend I've never heard of staying here with us? And I've seen you try to call a few times now. You don't know where he is, do you?"

"You kind of sound suspicious of me or something," she pointed out.

"I don't want to be, but something about this seems fishy. She said you could stay but… I find out she got hurt and the guy who found her is now missing?" he stated. "I work with cops. It kind of gets me to look for things sometimes."

"Mmm, well, you're right on the money," she admitted to him. Why even lie? Her job of making sure Sarah was safe would be easier if she could move unhindered if anything happened. She didn't need things going crazy and have him demand answers while she tried to work. "You believe in ghosts?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A serious one," she said. "Do you?"

"I mean, I heard ghost stories and legends when I was a kid. This is a pretty old part of the country but things like that don't exist," he snorted. "Why?"

She stood up slowly and advanced on him, her steps echoing in the quiet of the room. Her eyes deepened from her normal green to red and gold, almost glinting in the dark room. As he stared up at her, seemingly in shock, she laid a hand on the railing of the bed and effortlessly crushed it under her grip.

"Yes they do," she said. "I exist too."

He was on his feet in a second, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Look, I don't know what's going to happen, if anything, so I need to be able to work properly. I'm not even allowed to hint to people what I am but her safety is more important than what might happen to me," she explained to him. It was best to keep her tone calm and in control, knowing it was going to be the only way she kept him from freaking out. Actually, this was the first full conversation she'd had with someone who wasn't in the know, wasn't it?

It honestly felt more liberating than scary, which she wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. All the times she'd been told to be careful and here she was blowing it, but she didn't feel as guilty about it as she knew she probably should.

"Sarah is in danger?" Ian asked, as if he were grabbing on the one thing that might make him feel better right now.

"I don't know. She could be. I think my uncle believes a ghost might have hurt her and that's why she's here right now. He might be in danger, his phone could just be silenced so he didn't hear me, it could be anything right now but I know he's trying to take care of it. He sent me here to make sure she stays safe. I'm telling you because I'd rather have your help than have to fight if I have to move into action."

He paused for a second, thinking things over before he finally relaxed a little.

"This all sounds crazy," he admitted. "But what do I need to do?"

"First things first," she said as she emptied her pockets of the salt shakers she'd been able to grab on the way up, "we need more of this."

It wasn't until morning, equipped with more sodium and with salt lines laid out that would surely confuse the nurses later on did anything happen. The Amazon had been dozing off, trying to keep awake but just too exhausted to maintain her focus. The two of them had agreed on shifts and to wake the other if anything started up, but it had been calm all night. The only thing that woke her was something as normal as her phone ringing, which she blearily grabbed at before answering.

"Hello?" she asked groggily.

"Emma, it's Sam."

She sat up immediately in the chair she'd been napping in, alert and awake.

"Uncle, where have you been all night?" she asked him quickly. "Are you okay? Is the job done? I've been with Sarah all night, nothing happened."

"I know. Sarah was never a target, she couldn't have been. She's happy with her life. Blaise targets people that are lonely and upset," he explained. "I've been looking into things, turns out he had a wife and a baby, both got killed by getting run over by a carriage. It was dated back a month before he fell."

"Oh. Yeah, I can… um, Uncle where are you? You sound kind of..."

She couldn't put her finger on it, just, warped? His voice didn't seem to be coming in through the speaker too well, like there was an interference.

Next to her, she noticed Sarah shifting awake, Maybe the talking had woken her up, but Emma felt more concerned about Sam right now.

"Emma, listen to me. I'm at the resort now, where he jumped. I just called because I want to say goodbye," he told her, making her heart sink.

"W-what?" she breathed out.

"I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I'm sorry, but I'm no good for you. I have to go."

"Uncle, don't you talk like that! Don't! Listen to me, you're-"

The phone went dead, making her mind race.

"Emma?" Sarah asked softly.

"Kid, what's wrong?" Ian asked as the teen turned to them, swallowing hard. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she could feel panic rising up into her throat.

She forced herself to stop and breathe. She had to keep calm, had to think about this. Sam wasn't dead yet, but she'd never get there in time to stop it. Why even call her? He had to know she wouldn't be able to…

"Oh," she gasped. "Oh! I get it!"

"Get what, what's going on?" Ian asked.

"Sarah, quick. I know you're hurt but I need to know, do you remember the toolkit that Justin bought? It belonged to a stone carver from the 1900's, Blaise Reynard," she asked quickly.

"Yeah, I remember that piece," she answered.

"Justin was restoring it. Did he do it at the shop?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, he was borrowing the equipment we have for various touch ups."

"Was there anything, anything there that belonged to the kit? Anything at all?" she pressed.

The woman thought for a second, even as Emma wondered if she was right. They'd had all the tools. What could be missing?

"The leather pouch. It was fraying. He'd brought it in to stitch it back up," Sarah explained before her eyes widened. "Were the tools haunted?!"

"Sarah, Ian. You have to get to the shop. Find it and pour salt on it and burn it! Now!" she exclaimed before she ran towards the door. Damn it, the leather bag Justin had been keeping them in had to have just been a replacement!

"Where are you going?!" Ian called after her.

"To keep my uncle from jumping!"

"But… she's never going to make it in time," he breathed out before he saw Sarah getting out of bed. "Whoa, hey Sarah, stop."

"Ian, we have to help Sam. He's-"

"Sarah, you're hurt right now. You can't get out of this bed," he said with a firm shake of his head. "Besides, this is crazy. It's going to put too much stress on you and the baby."

The woman looked up at him shocked.

"I'm pregnant?" she asked softly before Ian whipped out their phones and handed Sarah hers.

"I'll go. You walk me through it, where I can find the bag and take care of it, but you stay here. Please."

She took the phone, almost dazed and nodded her head slowly.

Emma didn't bother waiting for a cab, just smashing the window of the first car she saw in the hospital parking lot and getting in. Dean had explained to her how to hot-wire them when he'd first started showing her engine maintenance but she'd never once done it herself, and her fingers fumbled over the wires from lack of practice and her own worry. She had to try a few times before she heard the engine roar to life and she stomped on the gas, peeling out of the parking lot. Flooring it, she raced past other cars on the road, swerving past them and ignoring the honks and shouting that followed behind her.

Nothing mattered but getting to the resort on time, getting to Sam. She jerked the wheel to turn around a corner, clenching her teeth. She knew what the ghost wanted now, and she'd give it to him. Anything to save Sam.

Pulling into the parking lot, she slammed on her breaks when she saw the Plymouth. Tires squealed in protest at the rough treatment, but she didn't give a damn. Jumping out of the car, she rushed to the trunk of the other one and wrenched it open, busting the lock as she did so, and grabbed the sawed-off shotgun, already loaded with rock-salt. Rushing through the parking lot, she slammed open the door to the lobby only to screech to a stop.

People in the lobby turned to her, curious about the frantic looking teen with a weapon who'd just run in, staff, guests, a whole crowd. Her breathing hitched at all of them.

She couldn't hunt like this, couldn't expose herself. They'd know, they'd all know, they'd tell hunters and those would…

She didn't care.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" she demanded as she ran through the crowd, not giving a damn about the ones she knocked out of her way to get to the stairwell. Effortlessly knocking the security guard that tried to stop the crazy girl causing all the commotion, she stopped at the locked door that led to the roof and kicked it open when it wouldn't budge. Rushing up the stairs as her mind spun from what she'd just been able to force herself to do, her elation at facing her fears began to fade away as her lungs burned while she ran up flight after flight of concrete stairs, shouldering open the door that led to the roof.

Sam was still there, standing on the ledge.

"Let him go," she hissed as she cocked the gun and pointed it at him. "You're not getting him or me. You're not getting either of us."

Sam turned to her, his expression almost glassy. It scared her how calm he looked.

"Emma, we can see Dean again," he said, his tone even in a way that twisted inside of her. Please, let them get to the pouch in time.

"Uncle, listen to me, this isn't what he'd want. He'd want us to keep going."

"How do you know what he wants? You knew him for less than a year. You barely spent time with him," Sam said in a snarl.

She forced herself to ignore the words and how much they hurt her. This thing would say whatever it thought would work, playing on her self-doubt. She had to think of a way to get him away from that ledge.

"You were waiting for me. You had him tell me where he was because you'd know I'd come. That is your modus operandi, right? Get people to kill themselves and take the loved ones with them? It's why I didn't end it in that room when I found the tool. You wanted me to get my uncle first, and then myself."

"Yet you rushed here anyway," he pointed out. "A smart hunter would have focused on the job. You're still a stupid little girl clinging to a family that doesn't want her."

"Shut up," she hissed.

"You won't shoot and you know it," he said, grinning. "Because you know it'll knock him right off. Then again, that is what you were trained to do, right? Kill your own family?"

"I said shut up."

"Did you ever consider that it's just crossed-wires?" he asked her. "That your whole devotion to them is because you met Dean before the Amazons?"

She stared at him, lowering her gun a bit.

"What?"

"I can see in that head, all those little doubts of yours. The need for a family unit. Your whole culture is a pyramid scheme of earning affection and the burning desire to stay with family. It keeps them locked together pretty tightly. You though, you met Dean first. Maybe your mom sure, but the whole tribe? No, you wondered about him in your training, you doubted. Think it was just an imprinting mistake?"

Emma glared at him, but her grip on the gun was loosening. She couldn't find it in her to say a thing in response.

"I mean, earning love is nice and all, but what have they done to earn yours? You've begged for scraps and yet just give them everything. Deep down, you know it's not how it's supposed to work with normal people. Deep down you know you're broken, enslaved to people who will never love the same way you do, because you're trapped by your own blood's programming. The funny thing is, you never even told them when they talked all the time about how to get rid of you. They'd have kept you if they'd known you were that dependent on them. Why not say it?"

"Because… because I..."

"Because you'd be an obligation, not family. You told them and they kept you, you'd know it was because they felt sorry for you. Not because you'd earned them," he answered for her. "You can earn them now, Emma. You can show them with your actions how much you need them. Just come here."

She felt tears trickling down her cheeks and the gun fell to the rooftop.

"Will it hurt?" she asked softly.

"Not even a little," he promised.

She took shaky steps towards him, as Sam smiled and help his hand out to her. Slowly she reached out and placed her own into his before snarling and yanking him towards her, throwing him to the roof and climbing on top of him, punching him in the face.

"My uncle kept me! My uncle was going to stay no matter what I chose!" she hollered as she punched him again. "I'm not letting you kill him!"

A fist shot out and clocked her right in the face, knocking her off of the possessed man. Climbing up, he ran for the roof only to have her tackle him, wrestling him down to try and keep him in place. Could she even knock out someone who was possessed? She really had no idea. She was working off of half-knowledge and just trying to buy as much time as she could.

"Uncle, you have to fight this! You have to stay with me!" she demanded before he kicked her right in the knee and caused her to howl in pain as she felt it bend in a way it wasn't supposed to. She rolled on the ground, gasping when she saw him take a step off the roof, only scrambling forward in time to catch his hand. His dead weight in her grip wasn't the issue, but he was slipping slowly. She could pull him up, but not like this.

He stared up at her, his expression blank as she grit her teeth and tried to hold on.

"Uncle… Uncle please," she breathed out. "Please, I can't lose you too. I need you. Not because of the blood, not for training, I need you because you're all I have left! Take my hand! I know it hurts! I hurt every day because of Father! I'd have done anything to keep him from dying, anything, but we still have each other! Blaise wants you to think you're alone, but you're not! You have me! You saved me before! Let me save you now! Please, please take my hand!"

Something inside of Sam seemed to flare out, a harsh and twisted shadow over his whole body before it flashed and faded away. His eyed focused suddenly and he looked around to see where he was, before throwing out his other hand and grabbing onto Emma, planting his feet on the wall and helping her get him back onto the roof.

They both laid there, panting hard, next to each other and staring up at the blue sky.

"What happened?" he asked. "I was with Sarah and then went to the shop… I..."

"We got the ghost, I think. Sent someone else to..." she breathed. She had to wonder if Blaise was gone and Ian had been able to burn the bag in time or if her words had saved him, like Sam's smile and praise had saved her. Honestly, she really wanted to believe it had been the second one. In fact, she was determined not to find out for sure because she was sticking to the answer she wanted. "Doesn't matter. He should be done."

"Good. Emma, why are we on a roof?"

"You were going to throw yourself off of it. I totally saved your life, by the way. Not bad for a first hunt, huh?"

Sam listened for a second and she winced internally as they both hear the sound of sirens coming from the distance.

"And that, Emma?"

"I said not bad. I didn't say I did well," she said. Personally, she felt pretty proud she'd gotten through that crowd at all. "To be fair, I just thought shooting you with salt would get rid of the ghost but I couldn't risk it. I guess I could have stood to be a bit more sneaky."

They both turned their heads to look at each other, and Sam's expression had a thousand words in it. For some reason all of those unsaid words felt like he was bitching her out completely silently.

"We should probably try to escape, huh?" she asked as she sat up, glad her knee throbbed but wasn't broken. Best to grab the shot-gun first though.

"Gee, you think?"

In the end they were able to get away, even if it did include having to climb down a fire exit and speed away in the Plymouth. They had to leave town without even swinging by the hospital to check on Sarah, though Sam insisted on hitting the hotel so they could grab everything they'd left there and wipe all the surfaces down to get rip of prints. It was a good thing he had plenty of experience on that, because they were out in record time.

All in all, not the worst hunt he'd every partaken in.

"You did pretty good," he told her as he drove down the highway, happy to leave New York behind. "Quick thinking on your part."

"Thank you," she said but her voice was quiet and a little forlorn. Poor kid looked exhausted too. He wanted to try and cheer her up, but he wasn't sure what to say.

"You want to listen to the radio? You can pick."

"I'm good, thanks," she breathed out as she watched the scenery pass.

"There are a couple things I want to ask," he said. "When the ghost took me, how'd you know it would make me wait for you?"

"You can't take it with you," she said, causing him to look over at her curiously. "What you said before, about not being able to take things with you when you died, I don't think he agreed."

That made him pause. A man all alone, who had felt all alone, because he'd lost his family. He didn't just make them kill themselves, but others, loved ones. Ironically ones that would have tried to support the person in pain through their time of grieving. It made him wonder if Blaise had thought there had been someone that would have wanted to help the stone carver that the ghost regretted not living for.

He supposed it didn't matter now. Emma assured him the last of the kit was burned up and gone, the job for sure truly finished this time.

"Was there anything else?" he asked her. "I don't even remember what was said, but I got this feeling like… I don't know, I remember you getting upset for some reason..."

His memory was blurry, and he wasn't sure if it would come back. It seemed Emma's memories of being possessed had, at least partially from what she'd told him as she'd explained what had happened earlier of going up to him and almost trying to stab him before she'd seemed to have come out of it. He supposed his would come back too once the fog cleared, maybe.

He glanced over him as she stared at him, before she firmly shook her head and looked away, a small frown on her lips.

"No," she replied. "There was nothing else. Just the thought of you jumping is all."

If it had been Dean, he could have sworn that he was being lied to, but he firmly reminded himself this wasn't Dean. Emma was open and honest, even to a fault. She shared everything she thought and was never shy about asking questions or providing answers. If she said there was nothing, he believed her.

"Emma?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for offering me your hand."

She swallowed thickly before smiling a bit.

"Thanks for taking it."

He didn't stop driving until it was nightfall, several states away by then. They'd only paused enough to get drive-through meals and head off again as they ate, not wasting any time in their get away. Emma was so deep into sleep he had to carry her to her bed. He unlaced her boots and pulled the covers over her as she groaned and rolled into her pillow. Something inside of him told him he should call Sarah and talk to her, but did he have the right to do that? She had something that didn't include him and never would. Still, he could imagine she would be worried.

He settled on sending her a text instead.

"Got out of state, everything is okay. Sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person. I'll miss you."

He stared down at the phone for a few minutes before he erased the last sentence and hit send. Afterward, he then blocked her number so that she couldn't call him. A clean break was best for them, mostly for him.

Checking on Emma one last time to make sure she wouldn't wake up, he pulled out his computer and Gabriel's DVD before sitting down and playing the movie.

"Hey," he said the second the door for the archangel walked in the cheap porno set. "I need to talk to you."

"This is starting to get kind of regular. Are we turning this into a thing?" the angel asked.

"I needed to talk," he repeated. "Though there's no one else to actually talk to, so..."

He'd decided long ago he wasn't putting his crap on Emma. He just couldn't. She didn't deserve that. It was bad enough she'd had to spend her morning begging him not to off himself right in front of her.

The angel watched him through the screen before nodding his head.

"It's not like I have anything else to do, being dead and all. Alright, lay it on me," he said. "What's wrong?"

"I wanted to ask, was it hard to leave your family?"

For a second Gabriel glared at him, the question seeming to offend him.

"You trying to imply it was easy?"

"No, no of course not," he assured him. "When I found out you were Gabriel, how you accused us of making you watch your brothers kill each other, I know that was all real. It hurt you. I just wanted to know if it was hard, you know, losing them."

"I… Wow, okay down to the deep stuff," the angel said, snorting humorously but Sam could tell he was just trying to play it off. "Okay, yeah. It was hard. It's not like I skipped out the second Dad left. I had to watch Michael make himself frantic, trying to think up ways to please Him, to bring Him back. When he locked Lucifer in the Cage, he came back deeply hurt, and then Dad left shortly after with this prophecy left behind on how it was all going to work out. It took him years to work up the resolve to do it because he felt he had to. Raphael just got tired of it all, wanting to stay out of it, but still supporting Michael. I don't think he cared enough either way. He and I kind of got lost in the shuffle of the family drama. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to get the hell out of Dodge and hide."

"Did Michael ever look for you?" Sam asked.

"Not anywhere that he ever found me, so I don't really know how thorough he was if he did. Honestly, he could have had plans to kill me too if he saw me as a traitor. I went deep undercover as a trickster after all. Didn't use any angelic powers at all that would have been detected, relying completely on Loki's magic."

"Loki? Wait, you can use pagan magic?"

"No, but he can. My true vessel's bloodline is gone, long gone. I made sure it petered out, distracting cupids that were supposed to keep it going, seducing lovers myself that were supposed to breed into the family, that kind of thing. Most of them died unmarried until the line that was supposed to produce my true vessel was gone. She never even was born."

"She?" Sam asked. "Your true vessel was going to be a woman?"

"Why, that would have interested you?" he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows that Sam had to cough in embarrassment from to try and ignore. Gabriel was shameless, an attitude that always put him off kilter. "Heh. Her name was supposed to be Gina, born in South Dakota, mousy and unassuming. Deeply religious, the kind that volunteered at soup kitchens and helped out at church. I didn't want her getting screwed with by Heaven, so I made sure she never existed in the first place. Heaven probably assumed it was Hell trying to cripple them and screw them out of a true vessel for one of the archangels that was supposed to be on their side. Instead, I'd been inside Loki for… well, let's say it was a long time."

"Why did he say yes?" Sam asked, but the celestial being only shook his head.

"That was between him and me. Not talking," he stated firmly. "To answer your question though, yeah. It was hard. Hardest thing I ever had to do. As much as it was all screwed up, I love my family. I always will, deep down. I walked away though because as much as leaving was painful, staying would have been worse."

"Did you try to find God?"

"No. Dad didn't want to be found. He left. Why hurt Him even more?"

"Hurt him? He was the one who left you all in that mess in the first place," Sam said, remembering his own father who had left Dean when he'd found out about the demon, had barely given them word. Even if he'd long since forgiven John, it still had hurt.

"Dad is… Well, God. People look in the Bible and think that there's some all-knowing, unaffected thing up there in the clouds. He's not a person, can't be. He knows everything and therefore doesn't get upset over things like the devil or people going to Hell. Ironically they talk about this being of compassion and yet depict Him as this unfeeling, punishing monster at the same time," he sighed out. "No one gets that He hurts too, that He could just look at someone and wonder why what He gave them, a whole life and decisions to make to shape it, wasn't good enough. Lucifer didn't just refuse to love humans, he grabbed one and tortured it until it became something sick and twisted. He delights in torture and murder, and Dad has to wrestle with the fact Lucifer chose that over Him, that destroying people to prove a point was more important than just asking to come back home."

"Would God have forgiven him?"

"Michael put Lucifer in the cage because Dad was too heartbroken to do it Himself. I think He would have," he admitted. "But then again, I could be wrong. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and me, we're all just people with flaws and virtues and our own minds, even if we're not human like you are. Why is it so hard to believe God is that way too?"

"So he didn't help us in the Apocalypse because his feelings were hurt?" Sam asked, finding that hard to swallow. It felt selfish to him, even if Gabriel explained it in an understandable way.

"Like I said, flaws. We all have them. In any case, why did you ask?"

"I guess… I wanted to know if the family you found in the pagans ever helped you forget about your other family?"

"Forget? No. Helped me move on? Well… I suppose they did, for the most part. I still didn't want to kill Lucifer for them, so there's something to ponder over. I wouldn't have even if they hadn't tried to kill me. I guess questions like that never have an easy answer. Sorry. That's not much help, is it?"

Sam glanced away from the computer screen and to Emma, snoozing in bed and sighed softly. Still, a small smile graced his lips despite himself.

"That's okay, I think I got the answer I need."

"End of the conversation then? You closing the computer again?"

"Actually… You want to keep chatting?" Sam asked, not seeing a need to leave just yet. Maybe Garbiel could stand to get some stuff off his chest too, even if he was dead, or a hallucination. What could Sam say? He felt like being nice.

End of Chapter 28

Once again, I feel like I should point out this was planned out way before season 15, but the timing of all of it really reads like a direct answer to it, specifically the finale. It wasn't meant to, but I can't control how people read into it. If I'd known how the final episode was going to go I never would have posted a chapter dealing with suicide and willingly dying before it aired, and I would never have made a chapter on God and the possibility of moving on right after it.

I don't know if anyone will believe me, but it was just really awful timing. I just feel like I need to explain myself there.

Believe me, there will be some fix-it fics I put out in response to that whole debacle but this isn't the one to do it. I've got plans already for where this all ends up.