Chapter 13

Listening to the bell ringing shrilly inside Ruby's house, Beth waits impatiently on the doorstep and prays that she's here. The fact that the car is gone suggests otherwise, but she can't just turn around and go home, and she'd rather not bring this particular pity-party to Annie's front door.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the door finally swings open to reveal Ruby – who's in the process of pulling a dressing gown on over her pyjamas – Beth tries to force her facial muscles into some semblance of a smile as their eyes meet. But the concern sweeping her best friend's face tells her that neither the smile, nor the carefully applied layers of concealer, are working for her.

Stepping back, Ruby ushers her inside and asks abruptly, "So, who do I have to kill; the old asshole or the new one?"

Smiling crookedly, Beth blinks back the tears that are threatening to start afresh and allows herself to be wrapped in the comforting warmth of a hug.

Pulling away a moment later, she glances around the empty front room and asks, "Where is everyone?"

Ruby rolls her eyes and leads her through to the kitchen. "Stan wanted to take the kids to his mom's house – alone. So I'm having a personal day." Indicating to the bottle of nail polish on the counter, next to the half-eaten slice of pecan pie, she elaborates dryly, "Big plans."

"I could get on board with those," smiles Beth with false enthusiasm, when, in truth, the thought of food turns her stomach.

Seeing through her with the ease, Ruby grabs a mug and fills it with steaming coffee from the jug on the counter. Placing it into Beth's hands, she asks gently, "What happened?"

Shaking her head in confusion, Beth replies, "Damned if I know," before reluctantly giving Ruby a watered down version of the events of the last twelve hours.

When she gets to the part where Rio tells her that he doesn't need another complication in his life, she has to glance away from the mutinous look on Ruby's face – which indicates that she might actually kill him – to say, "And I actually get it, you know? It's not what either of us wants right now. But I'm not some silly girl with a crush that he needs to slap down, for fear that I might misunderstand my importance in his life. I get it; he doesn't do relationships. I didn't expect anything from him."

But, just because she had expected nothing, doesn't mean her foolish heart hadn't hoped for more.

And that's the real crux of it.

Knowing Beth – and female psychology – well enough to understand this, Ruby just lets it pass and says, "Honey, I've said it before and I'll say it again; you dodged a bullet. And I know that might not be very comforting right now, but, believe me, you'll be a lot better off without this particular complication in your life."

Beth nods her agreement, even as she realises that she's not quite as certain of that as she once was. And then she's immediately trying to quash the thought.

Watching the confusion flicker across her face, Ruby's previously calm voice rises sharply as she says, "You know what? I'm sorry, but who the hell does he think he is?! He should be thanking his lucky stars that you're even willing to sleep with his shady-ass, let alone that you might be interested in more."

Whirling away to pace across the small space of the kitchen, she continues loudly, "And what sort of messed-up game is he playing at? He turned up to your door, when he needed some place safe to deal with his emotional meltdown, and then he has the cheek to tell you that he doesn't need any complications?"

Shaking her head in exasperation, she paces away again, muttering what might be, "I'll show him complications!"

And Beth finds that she's smiling, despite herself. "Well, they do say that women mature faster than men – with the existing age-gap I'm probably dealing with the emotional maturity of a high-schooler."

It feels good to say, even if it's not quite fair; in her experience, Rio's always been an old-head on young shoulders, and the age-gap is something that she hasn't really noticed in their interactions to date.

But she can see the relief, mixed with genuine amusement, on Ruby's face, and the only thing that really matters is that she feels slightly less devastated than she did when she arrived.

Even if she's still reeling from the realisation of just how deep her feelings for Rio run.

Swallowing the lump that's forming in her throat with a gulp of coffee, Beth says quietly, "Well, one thing's for sure; he won't get the opportunity to make a fool out of me a second time."

"Nuh uh," agrees Ruby, "And, sweetie? If you need reminding of that, you just call me. Now," she continues, her face melting into a grin as she asks, "Are you ready for some award-winning Hill-family pecan pie?"

And, surprisingly, Beth finds that she is.

/\/\/\/\

The relative peace that she managed to find in Ruby's presence begins to fray around the edges as soon as she steps off her front porch. The weekend stretches out in front of her in an endless void of empty minutes, and, as she drives home on autopilot, Beth's mind is engaged in a busy tug-of-war between memories of last night's tenderness and this morning's pain.

One minute she has perspective on the whole thing – can understand on an intellectual level what last night was, or, perhaps more crucially, what it was not – and then, in the next instant, she's once again lost in a fog of anger and confusion, unable to know anything for certain.

Damn you, Rio; damn you, for doing this to me.

Determined not to give him any more power over her wellbeing, and keen to channel the frantic energy of her anger into something productive, Beth crams her weekend full of household chores, interspersed with some spontaneous retail therapy and several punishing trips to the pool, and she finally gets around to decorating the house for Christmas.

It's something that would have usually been done ages ago – Christmas is just a few short weeks away – but she just hadn't gotten around to it. She loves the holidays – Christmas in particular – and, standing in the living room admiring her handiwork on the beautifully decorated tree that towers in the corner, she feels a little bit of that lost peace creeping back in.

If, subconsciously, the decorations have helped her to reclaim this space, her home – different now to that which Rio walked out on yesterday morning – then so much the better.

And, seeing the excited looks on her children's faces when Dean drops them off that afternoon, makes it even more worthwhile.

"You put up the tree," Dean notes redundantly, from his awkward position by the door. "Who helped you get it in?"

Suppressing the pang of irritation that's never far away when he's speaking, Beth smiles tightly and replies, "Just a friendly neighbour."

Seeing the cogs turning in Dean's brain, as he adds two plus two and gets five, she calls brightly to the kids, "Say goodbye to Daddy, guys! And please go and unpack your things before dinner."

/\/\/\/\/\

When she gets to the office the next morning, the big topic of the day is the staff Christmas party. HR has finally announced that dinner has been booked in a local restaurant, followed by drinks in a cocktail bar.

It's still three weeks away, but it's the most interesting thing that they all have in common at this particular moment in time.

"You're definitely going, right Beth?" Sofía asks her, as they sit down to lunch in the small canteen. The temperature outside has dropped dramatically and they've decided to forego their usual deli, in favour of the stuffy but welcome warmth of the office.

Hearing the too casual tone to her words, Beth glances at her suspiciously.

"Um, yeah, I guess so," she replies unenthusiastically, "Why?"

"Oh, no reason. It's just that Christmas parties are well known to provide the perfect opportunity for colleagues to–"

"Make public mistakes on an epic scale?" Beth quips dryly.

Laughing, Sofía takes spoonful of soup and corrects her, "No – well, okay, maybe in some cases – but what I was going to say was, to get to know each other a little better."

When Beth doesn't bite, Sofía peers quickly over her shoulder and drops her voice to reveal dramatically, "I overheard Alex asking Rachel if you were going."

"Oh?" asks Beth lightly, trying to ignore the heavy implication in her words.

"He tried to sound off-hand, but Alex never bothers with these things," Sofía continues excitedly, unperturbed by Beth's lack of interest. "No doubt he's too busy managing his ever expanding portfolio of investments."

Amusement growing by the second, Beth briefly considers this information. Alex, as the company's Chief Financial Officer, works very closely with Gabe, and Beth has several dealings with him on a weekly basis. Even so, the only things that she really knows about him are that he's a financial whizz, and, on occasion, an incorrigible flirt.

"And," Sofía continues, "If financially stability's not your thing, you have to admit he's pretty easy on the eye," a pause, "Even if he is a little arrogant."

Choking back a laugh, Beth asks dryly, "A little?"

"Okay, a lot," Sofía concedes, "But, strangely, it doesn't take away from his overall appeal. Possibly because I'm absolutely mesmerised by that British accent whenever he opens his mouth."

"Um hum," murmurs Beth, humouring her, but she actually totally gets it.

"I've always thought he's a bit of a blond Jude Law," continues Sofía with a grin, and Beth is laughing openly now. It feels good, after the weekend she's just had.

"Isn't that guy already blond?"

"No, he's more of a sandy brown," replies Sofía thoughtfully, prompting another giggle from Beth.

"Are you sure you don't want to try your chances with Alex at the Christmas party?"

Shaking her head, Sofía's expressions softens as she says, "Didn't I tell you? Things are back on track with the barista from next door; she's cooking me dinner tonight. Besides, I could do with a break from men for a while."

"You and me both, sister," Beth agrees vehemently, and then she's kicking herself a moment later when her new friend's eyes sparkle with interest.

"We're not going there," she says quickly, heart clenching in her chest, "But, believe me, I won't be involved in any holiday hi-jinks at the Christmas party."

/\/\/\/\/\

Despite her genuine lack of interest in Alex, outside of that of a professional nature, Beth finds herself lingering on the conversation that she'd had with Sofía when she needs a little ego boost.

Even more unexpectedly, she notices that she's suddenly more aware of Alex's presence in work; her eyes following his progress through the open-plan space where Beth has her desk, as he makes his way to and from his office.

And, more than once, he catches her looking, and she has to glance quickly away, cheeks heating traitorously as she does so.

She's self-aware enough to understand that her mind is latching on to this – to him – merely as a means of distraction from the pain that continues to lie just below the surface; invisible to most around her, but crushingly heavy in unguarded moments.

Rio has been conspicuously absent from her life. And, despite the finality of their recent parting, a part of her keeps expecting… something, anything; a continuation of some sort that will indicate he's not quite as resolute as he'd like her to think.

But that's just the steady burn of her irrational, wishful thinking; a flame that's been quietly growing out of control since their last passionate night together, fuelled by his undeniable tenderness towards her.

And yet she knows that it is ended – was over before it even began – because she'll never accept anything less than what she truly wants from him. Which is something he'll never be able to give, when all she really wants is… everything.

And so, she's not overly concerned with dismissing Alex from the forefront of her mind. Any time spent in light-hearted preoccupation over him equates to so many minutes less of being consumed by heartache over something that can never be.

Rubbing her chest in a futile attempt to dispel some of the tension that has gathered there, she starts in surprise as the phone on her desk rings, breaking through the chaotic jumble of her thoughts.

It's Gabe, asking her to join him in his office, and she's glad of the interruption as she makes the short trip down the corridor. Pushing the door open after a brief knock, she walks comfortably in to take a seat in front of his desk, notepad and pen balanced neatly on her lap.

Smiling expectantly at Gabe, she's a little confused when, after glancing up with a welcoming smile of his own, he merely considers her silently from across the desk.

Quickly scanning the 'To Do' list on the notepad in front of her, she asks, "Is everything okay? Have I forgotten to follow up on something?"

Gabe shakes his head, "No, it's nothing like that, my apologies. I wanted to ask you again, now that a few months have passed, how you've been finding the job; if you're happy here, whether you're satisfied with what you're doing."

Unsure where this is coming from, Beth considers her answer carefully before she replies, "I've really enjoyed getting back into the workforce – you have a lovely team here and the work is interesting – so yes; I'm happy. And as far as satisfaction goes, well… my family commitments have to take priority over my personal ambitions, at least for now, so I haven't really been looking to make any changes in the short term."

There's a pause as she considers the implications of his question, both good and bad, and then she asks squarely, "Why do you ask?"

Gabe laughs softly, "You know, when Rio phoned me up and told me I had a new employee, you were not at all who I expected."

Taken slightly aback by the change of track, and even more so by the mention of Rio's name, Beth has to force a smile as she murmurs, "I can imagine."

"I remember noting at your interview that you appeared over qualified for the position, and everything I've seen through working with you these past few months has confirmed that. I understand that your family commitments have to be your main priority, but I don't agree that you need to check your personal ambition at the door."

Gabe pauses to let this sink in before he continues, "This isn't common knowledge yet, but Issac just handed in his notice; he won't be returning after the holidays."

Issac being the current Office Manager; the bridge between Senior Management and the rest of the company. And the most highly paid employee beneath that upper echelon that Gabe, Alex and a select few others inhabit.

It's not her dream job, but not one to be sneezed at either. Certainly not after just three months with the company.

Heart beginning to thud softly in her chest, Beth holds her breath as she waits for Gabe to continue.

"I'd really like you to take over his role. You'd have to interview of course, but I have no doubt you'd be the preferred candidate, no matter who applies. And the hours wouldn't be quite as flexible, but we could certainly come to some arrangement that would work for everyone."

Breath easing from her in a silent rush, Beth tries to take this in, not knowing exactly what to say.

"You'll have to think about it of course," Gabe continues, "And the position won't actually be advertised until after the holidays, but we will be looking to fill it ASAP in January."

Finally finding her voice, Beth tells him sincerely, "Thank you, Gabe, I really appreciate everything that you've done for me – how supportive and accommodating you've been – and it really means a lot that I'd even be considered for this position. I will… absolutely think it."

Smiling, Gabe nods. "Let me know if you have any questions in the meantime."

/\/\/\/\

"B, that's amazing!" Ruby trills, "You're gonna to take it right? 'Cause you know you'd be crazy not to."

"I know," agrees Beth, adjusting the thick scarf around her neck in attempt to keep warm. "I just don't know if the timing is right – there's so much upheaval in the kid's lives right now and the last thing they need is an absent mother."

Looking on in amusement as Sarah and Kenny jostle in line to meet Santa Clause – the others milling around behind them – Beth allows herself a private moment to take a deep breath of crisp Winter air, and bask in the soft inner glow of contentment that's been growing steadily throughout the day. They've spent a wonderfully festive, if chilly, couple of hours at Crossroads Village, where the kids have scampered around the snow-covered grounds, buying Christmas gifts, singing carols, and making glitter-drenched tree decorations (which may never see the light of day again).

And, as the afternoon draws on, and the children gear up for the big finale, Beth realises that it's been hours since her thoughts were last hijacked by a certain someone. Noting and successfully dismissing the thought, she turns her attention back to Ruby, who is going on to say, "But it sounds like Gabe is well aware of your family commitments, and that he's willing to figure those out with you."

Smiling ruefully, Beth says, "You're right, I guess it all just sounds a little too good to be true."

What she hasn't mentioned, is her fear that this promotion aligns a little too neatly to the sudden halt of her work for Rio. As if someone, rather than a benevolent universe, is looking out for her interests.

"It's not too good to be true," pipes in Annie, as she appearing through the crowd balancing three cups of hot chocolate, "And, even if it is, screw it; take it anyway. You're qualified, you're capable and you deserve this."

Amused, and, if she's honest, touched, by her sister's uncharacteristic support, Beth eagerly accepts one of the deliciously warm paper cups and cradles it gratefully between her cold hands.

Glancing automatically back over at the kids, she suddenly exclaims, "Oh, shit!"

And then they're all full on howling with laughter, as they watch Kenny being apprehended by a very cross elf, as he tries to skip the queue.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Beth gasps, "I'm sure there's a timely lesson in there somewhere, but I'm getting too old to care!"

"Amen, sis!" Annie giggles, "Besides, I hear angry elves are a little thin on the ground in the corporate world; you'll be fine."

/\/\/\/\

It's much later, when the kids are in bed and the three of them are sat around in Beth's living room, beside the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree, that Annie drops her bombshell.

"You guys, I know we haven't really been talking about Book Club lately, but there's something I thought you should know. One of Rio's guys was picked up by the Feds; caught red-handed with a whole truck-load of funny money."

She glances quickly at Beth, to gauge her reaction – whether to her revelation or the subject matter is unclear – before continuing, "Brian says the circumstances were shady, as if the Feds had been tipped off, and the word on the street is Rio's searching his own house for the rat."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Beth muses, "Surely it must have something to do with this turf war that's been going on?"

Shrugging, Annie takes a sip of her vodka-coke and says, "All I know is what Brian told me. And that now there's an absolute shutdown across all sectors."

Nodding as she considers this, Beth tries to focus her alcohol-fuelled mind on the operational impact, consciously steering clear of the mental shit-storm that this must present for Rio.

"Ouch, this is really going hurt the business. I don't see how he could continue producing counterfeit, now that the Feds are on to it. At least not in Detroit."

"It's really going to hurt me," moans Annie, "And I've already spent my cut on holiday essentials."

"Right," says Beth, exchanging a knowing look with Ruby, "I'm sure that's his number one concern right now."

If either Ruby or Annie notice that she's been avoiding saying his name, they don't mention it.

"Did this Brian happen to say if any other information was given to the Feds?" Ruby asks pointedly, and Beth realises that if she hadn't already finished several measures of Bourbon, she'd be a whole lot more worried.

But Annie just shrugs, "I guess we'll have to wait and see. I'm serious though," she continues, "We need to think of a way to flip our game – ditch homicidal homie and keep the profits for ourselves."

Hooting with laughter, Ruby replies sarcastically, "Um hum, there's gotta be plenty of opportunities in the world of crime for three enterprising ladies such as ourselves."

Giggling as she refills their drinks, Beth keeps the charade going, "Okay, so we just pick a product and set up shop. What's it going to be ladies? Drugs? Guns? Alcohol?"

"What about sex toys?" asks Annie, deadly serious, "I hear they sell for a mint in countries like Thailand, and I'm sure we have a whole pile of market research already completed between the three of us."

Shaking her head as she flops back down onto her armchair, Beth waves her glass dismissively. "Too complex, we need a much shorter supply chain – something local, like cigarettes. The profit margin is pretty impressive when you move them from a low tax state to a high tax state. And we're actually fairly high in Michigan."

"Okay, cigarettes!" agrees Annie enthusiastically, "So, how do we do that?"

Warming to the topic, Beth answers confidently, "We buy wholesale in, say, Missouri – either through a business that we register ourselves or through someone already supplying to the black market. Then we just have to figure out how to transport the goods to Detroit, find a buyer and – boom! Side-hustle is a-go."

Annie's eyes are shining with excitement and, although she has just been humouring her, Beth can actually feel an answering tingle starting to build in the pit of her stomach.

Leaning forward in her seat, she says suddenly, "So, why not?"

"Why not, what?" Ruby asks, with trepidation.

"Why not do it?" Beth replies seriously, setting her drink down on the coffee table to get up and pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. "Or at least talk it through properly and see where it takes us."

Ruby is staring at her, mouth open in shocked silence, while Annie thrusts her half-empty glass into the air and shouts, "YES! Let's do this, bitches!"

"Shhh!" Beth laughs, casting a hasty eye towards the stairs, before turning her attention back to Ruby.

"I know that you wouldn't be involved in this but you want to help us brain-storm?"

"Oh no," replies Ruby, holding a hand up for emphasis, "That is not happening."

"You're right, I'm sorry–" Beth begins, when Ruby cuts her off.

"If y'all want to profit off of this awesome intellect, it's gonna cost you."

"Cost us what?" asks Annie, frowning with confusion.

"Well, a seat at the table for a start," replies Ruby, lips beginning to curve into a smile.

"But," says Beth, certain she must be misunderstanding, "That would mean…" she trails off.

Ruby is straight up grinning now as she nods her head in agreement.

"But, Ruby" Beth says seriously, "If we do this – if we can do this – what about Stan?"

Smile fading, Ruby shrugs briefly and answers, "We'll figure it out. Like we're doing now. But what we're not able to figure out, is how to pay the bills that just keep pouring in. And I am sick and tired of waiting to catch a break that's just not coming."

/\/\/\/\

Putting the finishing touches to her make-up, Beth stands back from the mirror to give herself one last once-over, before leaving the relative privacy of the women's toilet to join her colleagues in the lobby downstairs. The long-awaited staff party has finally arrived and there's been a distinct buzz in the office today, as people anticipate the night – and the holidays – ahead.

Thankfully, it's rubbing off.

Although Beth is secretly longing for the comfort of her own home, she's also happy to have a reason to get dressed up and is looking forward to the prospect of a night out with some new faces. As much as she loves girls' nights in with Ruby and Annie, she sometimes finds herself craving the energising atmosphere of proper night out, which is something they rarely get to do these days.

The three of them have been spending a lot of time together recently – even more than usual – as they thrash out the details of their new venture, which has quickly gone from a hypothetical exercise to an almost-reality. There's just a few – albeit big – issues left to sort out before their side-hustle really will be a-go.

Studying her reflection in the mirror, she straightens the golden pendant at her throat and is glad that she decided to wear this particular black dress – slim fitting, with capped sleeves and sweetheart neckline, it emphasises her figure to perfection – and grateful too that the lightly tousled waves in her hair are behaving, at least for now.

Brushing one errant lock off her forehead, she quickly supresses the sharp stab of emotion that accompanies the memory of other hands, his hands, doing just that.

Turning her back on her reflection, and the sombre feeling that's trying to creep in, Beth hastily gathers her things and leaves the bathroom, her kitten heels clicking smartly against the tiled floor as she goes.

"Beth, you look amazing!"

Glancing up in surprise, she grins as she catches sight of Sofía, who is darting – barefoot – from a meeting room ahead, dressed in an impossibly-sparkly gold minidress, with her high heels in one hand and her work clothes clutched in a haphazard pile under her arm.

"You're a sweetheart," Beth tells her, "And, oh my gosh, I love your dress!"

"Thanks, I'm going for the 'Christmas-threw-up-on-her' look," Sofía laughs, full of self-deprecation. "Come on, we'd better hurry, the taxis were here five minutes ago!"

The ensuing meal passes in a pleasant medley of surprisingly good food, wine and company. Beth ends up sitting between Gabe and Issac, and she can't help thinking that Gabe has somehow managed to orchestrate this particular seating arrangement. But, as the conversation flows easily between them, she really doesn't care.

Later, as their party exits the restaurant and moves on to the cocktail bar next door, Beth feels herself being nabbed by the elbow, and finds a sheepish Sofía by her side.

"Keep me company while I indulge in my very guilty pleasure," she pleads, flashing a packet of cigarettes and gesturing towards a side alley close by.

It's freezing outside – has been snowing on and off all day – but Beth allows herself to be drawn hastily from the crowd, laughing as Sofía guides them into the alley and beneath the shelter of a canopy. Looking furtively around, she lights up with undisguised relief and blows a plume of smoke into the air before asking, "You want one?"

"No, thanks," declines Beth, "My poison of choice is of the liquid variety."

"I'm glad to hear you're not as vice-free as you might appear," comes a crisp drawl from the shadows a little further down the alley, and then Alex moving is forward to join them, flicking ash from the glowing tip of his own cigarette as he does so.

Smiling, Beth tells him levelly, "Oh, you'd be surprised how deceptive appearances can be," and watches with amusement as his eyes sparkle with interest.

His black over-coat hides much of his attire from view, but Beth, having found herself glancing in his direction once or twice during the course of the meal, knows that he's wearing a crisp white shirt beneath a dark blue suit that – she can objectively appreciate – does all kinds of things for his rakish good looks.

"Alex!" Sofía exclaims, with obvious delight – her eyes darting between the two of them as she assesses the situation – "I didn't have you pegged as a smoker."

"I suppose I'm not really," he answers, "Not since University. Terrible habit, but one that creeps back in from time to time."

Nodding, Sofía quickly stubs out her barely-smoked cigarette on the ground and says, "You're right; filthy habit. I think I'd better remove myself from temptation."

And then the traitor is disappearing swiftly inside the bar, leaving a mystified silence in her wake.

"That was…" Alex pauses, searching for the right word.

"Unexpected?" suggests Beth.

"Smooth," corrects Alex, and then they're both laughing with surprising ease, as a new awareness settles into place between them.

"So, what other surprises are you harbouring?" he asks lightly.

"Oh, the usual; four kids, a failed marriage, and a newfound cynicism towards life in general. What about you?"

Taking a quick drag from his cigarette, he rattles off, "No kids, no marriage to speak of, and a well-established cynicism for life in general. I'm glad you mentioned that, actually," he says with mock sincerity, "I was worried that we might not be able to establish the all-important common ground."

Grinning with genuine amusement, Beth is momentarily distracted by a black car that has just driven slowly past the entrance to the alley they're standing in, for what, she now realises, has to be the second or third time.

Pulse kicking up a notch, she checks the urge to bolt instantly inside and says with false brightness, "I'm actually starting to freeze out here, would you like to grab a drink?"

"I'd love to," Alex replies, extinguishing his cigarette and dropping it into a nearby dumpster, "But I'm buying."

It's less than ten meters from where they're standing to the front door, but Beth feels every inch of it passing, her shoulders tight with tension. Finally entering the welcome warmth of the cocktail bar, she releases the breath that's been trapped in her chest and slips quickly into the throng of bodies, putting as much distance as she can between herself and the street outside.