Renesmee
After deciding to travel with Nahuel, the time packing and planning seemed to go quickly. Too quickly. You know how they say, "time flies when you are having fun"? Well, time also flies when you are dreading something, and it drags when you are looking forward to something, and one thing was for sure, I was dreading this trip with Nahuel and his sisters. Aunt Alice and my dad were very hesitant when I told them what I had decided, but they understood that I needed some time away to process everything that had happened with my mom and Jacob. So, although the rest of the family fought my decision, Aunt Alice, Dad, Grandpa Carlisle, and Grandma Esme stood by me and supported my decision. To be completely honest, this shocked me. I thought my aunt and father would be the ones to fight the hardest, but after Aunt Alice explained how they had been the ones closest to the situation when it happened years ago, they understood.
When I told Nahuel that I had decided to travel with him, as expected, he was very excited. Even his sisters were excited about me traveling with them. Nahuel told me that his youngest sister Saelom was thrilled to hear this because she couldn't wait to meet me. She would have travelled with Nahuel and their sisters but had to stay home to be with her newborn mate and child. To be honest, although I was apprehensive about the six months awaiting me, I was excited to get out, see the world and get to know these people who were like me.
Aunt Alice strode into my room in the cottage to find me standing there looking over my room. I had lived here for about a year before we had left to go to school in Alaska. We hadn't been back more than a month and all of a sudden, I was leaving again. The official story was that I was heading off to travel the world with some friends I had met before going to college next fall.
"Ness, all of your suitcases are packed and ready to go. I think it is time to say your goodbyes." I pick up the last of my bags and carry them out of my room. Leaving the cottage, and beginning the walk to the main house, I feel as though I am leaving for the last time. I know I will return someday, but I can't help but feel like it is going to be a long time before I return.
Stepping into the foyer of the main house, I drop my purse and duffel bag onto the floor by my other suitcases, and then walk to the living room where Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Sue, Nahuel, Naomi, Hanalomi, Uzaria, and the rest of my family are standing. But the person I want to be here seems to be absent
Sensing who I am looking for, my mom steps up to me and hands me a small wooden box. "He thought it would be too hard to say goodbye, especially since you are leaving with Nahuel. So, he asked me to give you this." I open the box to find multiple letters alongside a small leather bracelet with a carved wooden heart dangling from it's center.
All of this suddenly feels so real as people start coming up to me, wishing me well, hugging me tight, and telling me to keep in touch and be safe. I plaster a smile on my face, but really, only my dad and Uncle Jasper can tell how I am really feeling. Guilty, sad, and a bit heartbroken at where everything has led
"Mom, I know you can't possibly understand why I am doing this, but please know, I am trying to accept everything I have learned as part of my past, but I am just having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I just need time." I feel the tears well up in my eyes as I prepare to say goodbye to my mother for the first time since she was reborn.
"Ness, I can't say I understand, nor can I say I approve of your decision to leave, but I know you need time to figure out what you want, and you've made a promise to Nahuel to give him a fair chance at winning your hand and your heart. Therefore, I will not say anything that could possibly sway you in one way or another, but just know I will be here for you no matter your decision. And if you find you need to talk to someone while you are away, please don't hesitate to call me, your dad or your Aunt Alice. We all love you and are here for you, no matter what." Mom wraps her arms around me, and I feel her embrace strengthen as she hugs me tighter. "I love you my little one. Never forget who you are. Find what you want, and then come home to me." I could almost hear her heart breaking as she turned away from me to go stand beside my father.
I follow her over to my dad and give him a hug. Lifting my hand up to his face, I project an image of me coming home to him and my family. I put every feeling of the confusion I feel currently as well as the hope of discovery and contentment I hope to find along my journey with Nahuel into the scene.
My father nods knowingly, "I know. We hope you find everything you are looking for."
I quickly hug the rest of my family again, and then step out the front door. Nahuel walks ahead of me, and opens the passenger door of his rented white Range Rover, but before I climb in, I turn to look back toward the house, and see all of my family standing at the window. I wave goodbye and climb into the car. The knot in my stomach only seems to grow as Nahuel and his sisters climb in as well. As we pull away from the house, I look out my window. I catch a glimpse of a russet colored wolf racing through the trees, but when I look again, the wolf is gone.
My Jacob is gone.