A/N: Finally, an update! it's felt like forever since I was able to write anything, but now I've got this new lengthy update, and there should be more on the way soon! Many thanks to my friend Kretolus for helping on this one!
Azhasca winced as the ship shuddered violently, more damage alarms screaming for attention no-one could spare.
"Order the Lightbringer forwards!" she snapped, glaring at Oysyoe. "That little shit Ghev will jump down my throat if he doesn't get support, and we need the small craft to-"
"No good, Azh- I mean, Captain," Bobbi said, gesturing to her console. "That Tactical Cube is on the move, and it is heading straight for us. We need to tighten the formation, not spread it further."
Azh nodded slowly, eyes unfocused in thought.
"Do it," she commanded, "then activate the SIF Linkage."
Both Bobbi and Elliott began voicing concerns about that order - the SIF Linkage that the Europa-class ships carried was advanced, but it carried a risk; it's whole purpose was to absorb some of the damage meant for others in its fleet, and with the Phoenix already damaged…
"I'm aware of the risk," Azh said firmly, cutting off the arguments, "and my order stands. We need to keep this task force alive, and that's what these ships are built for. So let's get to it, shall we?"
There was a moment of hesitation in both officers, before Elliott hurried back to his station.
"I'll see what I can do here to mitigate some of the risk," he said hurriedly, as Bobbi sighed and began typing in the commands.
"SIF Linkage ready," she told her friend, still watching her screen, "and the other ships are moving into formation."
Order the Lecter and Lightbringer to send their small craft forwards, we need them harassing the flanks while we push to the Tac cube. And don't take any arguments, either, Ghev can whine about his broken little ships later."
The ship lurched again, and while the rest of the crew caught themselves in time Azh was throne to the deck.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," she complained, as both Bobbi and Elliott lifted her back up. She touched the wound on her forehead she'd just received, wincing as she did, and thinking it was bleeding much more than she expected. "Give the advance order, Bobbi. Let's end this thing."
Azh hauled herself upright again and dropped back into her chair, and turned to face her own small screen as her orders were enacted.
The five ships - all varying in age, size, and capability, united by a terrified Trill engineer - moved forward as one, firing off phaser shots and torpedo salvoes at the other cubes as they passed, the fighters breaking off to continue engaging them. Smaller Borg vessels, like the Spheres or Probes, were ripped apart by the repeated volleys, but the Cubes themselves took the hits and kept on going. Any return fire that hit the four other vessels was fed back to the Phoenix via the beams from the SIF Linkage, and while the battlecruiser suffered it still refused to die.
Eventually they broke through, and the Phoenix spat a final volley of quantum torpedoes from her aft tubes, finally disabling one of the Cubes that tormented it...and its captain.
The crew cheered for a moment, lost in the giddy feeling of taking out one of the ships that had crippled them not so long before, But Azhasca put them out of her mind, her sight unwavering as she glared at the small image of the Tactical Cube in her own, tiny screen. So many memories, so many good people lost to that immense, armoured leviathan...and now, at long last, she would have vengeance.
"Focus," she told her crew, her voice cold and flat, "we're not done yet. Divert all available power to the weapons, and let's kill this bastard."
Beams and torpedoes tore huge holes in the Borg vessel, as all five ships coordinated their attacks and ripped into it with all they had. The space around the massive ship was filled with debris, shards of armour and hull that were carved or blasted free, and still the Federation ships poured fire into it. After what seemed like an age, a chain reaction built inside the ship and flowed rapidly outwards, and the small task force moved out of range as the giant Borg vessel finally erupted in a green-hued explosion, tearing it apart once and for all.
With their command ship destroyed, the other Borg vessels in the system were much easier to destroy - command feedback left them momentarily vulnerable, which the captains wasted no time in exploiting. With the space outside the station finally purged, they were able to get the readings that the Phoenix was sent to find - the Starbase was now entirely within the grip of the Borg, all of its crew assimilated.
While Azhasca wanted to stay and finish the Borg presence in the system completely, but Captain Ezeri sent her back to Earth for repairs - although, not without company. The Relentless, as the oldest ship in the task force, had suffered almost as much damage as the Phoenix, but the SIF Linkage had kept her from being destroyed outright.
However, The Relentless being sent home at the same time allowed Azhasca to meet the renowned Eilis O'Neill, for the debriefing that Jidzi had promised her what felt like a lifetime ago.
Azhasca materilaised in the Relentless' transporter room, where she was met by the Irish redhead she'd met in the defence of the Phoenix.
"Uh, O'Dairn, wasn't it?" she said to the Lieutenant, and Caoimhe gave a single nod.
"Aye, ma'am, or Caoimhe if it suits ye. Follow me, the boss'll be seeing ye in the mess hall - her quarters are a tad out of shape, since we swept in to take care of your wee problem back there."
Azhasca felt an immense surge of guilt at that, on top of the guilt of all the lives who had been lost...all because, as she saw it, she wasn't strong enough to manage on her own.
"I...uh, was your girlfriend okay?" she asked, hoping to distract herself as Caoimhe led her through the ship.
"Oh aye, she was fine. Her crew, not so much. But no need to worry yerself over that, I'm sure."
At that comment, Azhasca decided to stop trying to make conversation, until they finally arrived at the mess hall.
Half of the large space had been turned over to a temporary triage facility, since their medbay was currently overflowing with wounded, while the other half still stubbornly operated as a mess hall - several members of 'walking wounded' crew were sat around, eating what they could and nursing relatively minor wounds. Even Eilis, at her own table, was not injury-free, and she waved the medical staff away as Caoimhe arrived.
"Captain Pezhal to see you, ma'am," she said with a smart salute, emphasizing Azhasca's rank as if she doubted its legitimacy.
"Thank you, Lieutenant." O'Neill replied, wincing in pain as she stood up. "I want a report on the state of our security forces within the hour, in case we get caught unawares en route to Earth. Dismissed." After the security officer saluted and left, Eilis turned to Azhasca with a warm smile. "Not the best place to meet," she said, looking around the crowded room, "but nicer than staring at empty space through a breach in the observation lounge, that's for sure." She took a pained step around the table, and extended her hand to the other captain.
Azh took the offered hand and shook it weakly, mustering the strength to speak.
"I'm...I'm sorry, ma'am, that my own failures led to the damage and loss of life on your ship," she said, fighting to hold back her tears. It wouldn't do to cry in front of a well-known captain just yet.
"The only person responsible for this ship and her crew is me." Eilis replied, placing a reassuring hand on Azhasca's shoulder. She took a step back, and gestured past the other captain, towards the door. "Would you mind walking with me? I've yet to do my rounds, and if I've learned anything, it's that it's good for a captain to be seen after such battles."
Azhasca nodded, falling into step beside Eilis as she began walking.
"I was, uh, 'fortunate' in that regard - all my crew were either in sickbay or with me in Engineering," she said, the pain of her losses clear in her voice. "After that battle, there wasn't much left inside to walk around, either."
Eilis nodded as they left the mess hall, moving slowly through the ship's corridors. "Such battles are the heaviest burdens for all involved," she mused. "As much as we may want to bring everyone out alive, it's often impossible. Such is the nature of our position."
Azhasca sighed, scrubbing at her eyes with her hand.
"From my perspective, it's not my position - I still feel like the Lieutenant from the docks that I was only a few days ago, in over my head and used as some sort of pawn for the admirals' games." The bitterness was clear in her voice as she spoke, and she sighed heavily. "Some days, I don't think I'm cut out for Starfleet."
Eilis stay silent for a moment as she thought. "It is something that I wondered about. What made you accept the position?" She hummed. "I was under the impression that you were quite happy in your role at ESD."
Azhasca snorted derisively.
"And you'd be right. Two years I spent, building my team the way I wanted it. We spent all that time building a reputation of competence and efficiency, and then two admirals come along and...fuck it all up." She sighed again, shaking her head. "I fully believe they pressured Admiral Quinn into reassigning me."
Eilis stopped mid-step, facing the other captain. "I'm afraid I might have an idea who these two admirals were." She said tentatively. "But would you mind confirming it for me?"
Azh paused, struggling to meet Eilis' questioning gaze.
"I...it was Admirals Zevil and Kassai," she said softly, running a hand through her hair.
"Of course." Eilis sighed, rubbing her temples in a gesture of frustration. "Who else could it have been."
"You don't seem surprised," Azhasca replied after a moment, frowning. "Do they commonly cause problems for others?"
"Yes, though usually the 'others' are the Federation's enemies." Eilis replied, lost in thoughts. "I've noticed a somewhat troubling pattern in some of the few of their operations I've become aware of…" She paused, looking back up at Azhasca. "Plus there are very few people that can convince Quinn of something he wouldn't normally do."
Azh bit her lip in thought debating what to say. She felt she could trust Eilis, but she also felt concerned she might be ruining her own prospects by divulging what she knew of the admirals' involvement in her mission.
"I don't know either of them well, except by reputation in Admiral Kassai's case - she's caused enough problems for me in the past, as you might be aware. But...sorry ma'am, can we find somewhere a bit quieter to talk? I'm...feeling a little uncomfortable here."
Eilis nodded, humming in thought. "Might be tricky to find somewhere that has all its walls." She took a quick look around. "As uncomfortable as it might be, a nearby jefferies tube junction might be our only hope." She offered the other woman a lopsided smile.
"After what I've been through, a jefferies tube junction is perfectly acceptable, thank you."
Azhasca followed Eilis into the jefferies tube and along the narrow crawlspace, until they reached the junction where they could stand at last. Azh rested her head against the bulkhead, breathing deeply as she tried to calm herself down.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice shaking. "I, uh...it's been a rough few hours for me. I...don't know if you were aware, but this wasn't my first contact with the Borg. That occurred nearly three years ago, and...it's haunted me ever since. I still haven't gotten rid of the nightmares and the fear from that time...I still wake up screaming most nights."
She turned around, leaning her back against the bulkhead instead, staring at nothing in particular.
"Can you imagine how it felt? To be faced again with the harbingers of my worst nightmares, when I still haven't gotten over the first time?"
"I can… and I can't," Eilis replied, shaking her head.
Azhasca shook her head, as if trying to banish the thoughts from her mind.
"It's horrifying. Leaves you numb and immobile, vulnerable and terrified. And, in my case, weeping in utter dread, as I was confronted by both the memories of what happened before and the prospect of doing it all again."
"You were forced into an unenviable position, one that you desperately wanted to avoid," O'Neill said, her voice calm and caring. "There's very little I can say to help, but I think you've handled yourself incredibly well considering the circumstances. You've gotten yourself, your crew, your ship, and the task force through it in as good a shape as could be asked of you." She smiled warmly, resting her hand on the other captain's shoulder. "That counts for a lot in my eyes."
Azhasca nodded, though she didn't feel as if she had accomplished anything.
"Thank you, Captain. Coming from someone of your capability, that...means a lot."
She took a deep breath, straightened up, and smoothed the creases out of her uniform, and when she opened her eyes again she projected confidence, even if she didn't feel it herself.
"I'll make sure my report reflects your bravery and selflessness, ma'am, and your First Officer - Jidzi, was it? - I'll make sure she gets the praise she deserves as well. She's a fine officer, and a credit to Starfleet. But, speaking of reports," she moved towards the jefferies tube again, "I suppose I should get back and write mine. Plenty of time between now and docking at ESD to get it right."
"One more thing, Captain, if you would," O'Neill said in a serious tone. "Concerning what's next."
Azh paused, giving Eilis a questioning look.
"What is it?"
"I'll get Kassai and Zevil off your back, of that you can be sure," She replied, her tone twitching in annoyance, before shifting to a warmer one. "But I can do more. You need only say a word, and your former position at ESD will be yours again. I, unlike some, can appreciate that the frontlines aren't the only place that matters and needs competent people." She hummed in thought. "You've got your agency back, Captain, it's up to you to decide how you want to proceed."
Azhasca blinked in surprise. That was an offer she certainly had not been expecting.
"It's tempting," she said slowly, "but...I'm not sure. I'll have to think about it. But I'm very grateful to have the option."
"Of course, no need to decide right now. Just let me know once you reach a decision." Eilis smiled warmly. "And there's no need to be grateful, it's really the least I can do to mitigate the scheme you've been caught up in." She nodded. "One thing I will do whether you like it or not is recommend some shore leave, I'm sure you could use it."
Azhasca laughed humourlessly.
"Well it'll take a while to put my ship back together anyway, I have to find something to do in the meantime!" She laughed again, with genuine humour this time, but then sobered once more. "Besides, there's...a long-overdue conversation, that I need to have with someone. A trip to Risa might be just what we need to sort some things out."
"In that case, do not let me keep you any longer. Seems we both have duties to attend to." A slight, knowing smile appeared on Eilis' face. "Feel free to contact me should there be anything more I can do."
"I'll be sure to do that," Azhasca told her, smiling as she heaved a small sigh of relief. "Okay. Time to get back to it."
Together the two captains made their way back through the jefferies tube, where Eilis escorted Azhasca back to the transporter room. They said their goodbyes, and Azhasca returned to the Phoenix finally feeling like she had an ally beyond the confines of her own crew.