December 22, 1975
"I'm serious, Sev!" Fifteen-year-old Lily Evans exclaimed. "This was the third attack. It's getting worse."
Severus looked at his best friend with a searching look. He found no hint of judgement or resentment, so he assumed his secret was safe. "You're not in danger, Lil." He assured her gently.
"Like hell I'm not!" Lily snapped. "I'm a muggleborn just like the others."
Severus wanted to tell her, he wanted to so badly, but to do so would be to end their friendship. He'd never let anyone hurt her. He was in control of the attacks, after all.
"Lily, everything is going to be alright." His words did little to comfort her, though.
The pair was sitting in a compartment on the train ride home for the Holidays. Severus hadn't wanted to go home, but his mother had requested it and Lily had demanded it: "you're really going to leave me alone with Petunia?"
So, instead of a lonely, but relatively enjoyable holiday break filled with books, spells, and potions, Severus would be subjected to shouts, insults, and, if he wasn't careful, broken bones. Not that Lily knew, of course. He was able to hide most of the abuse with his magic. Lily remained blissfully unaware of the true state of his home life. Severus suspected that if she knew, she would need to take action, and who knew what that would mean for Severus.
Severus was determined to enjoy the little hours he had away from his father, so he kept up with Lily's excited banter, teased her about her Christmas present, and laughed at her jokes. His forced good spirits were brought to a halt, however, when Remus Lupin entered their compartment.
"Remus!" Lily smiled, gesturing for him to join them in their compartment. Severus sulked, his dark eyes watching the lone marauder wearily.
But Remus wasn't smiling. He looked incredibly grave. Severus sat up, already knowing and fearing the words that were about to be spoken.
"Lily, Alex Cruz has been attacked." Remus said gently.
"What?" Lily said, horrified. Alex was a fourth year and was generally well liked. "Sirius is with him now, but he doesn't remember a thing."
"Is he alright?" Lily asked, horror etched into her soft features.
"He's bleeding pretty bad. Sirius is healing him, but-"
Whatever Remus was going to say, died on his lips, as Lily had taken off running, using the distressed voices as her guide. She found Sirius Black bent over Alex Cruz chanting healing incantations.
She knelt next to Sirius. "What spell was used?"
Sirius stopped chanting. "Not sure. I think it was some sort of hybrid. Episkey isn't working."
Sirius, who Lily had never seen not smiling and laughing, looked grave. He looked at Lily as if to beg her to help, though he didn't quite know the words. Alex had several broken bones, which Lily quickly healed using the words, "Brackin Emendo." He had deep cuts all over his body, which she was unsure of how to heal magically.
"Put pressure on that wound. I don't know any serious healing magic, but I do know some basic muggle first aid." Lily began bandaging the wound with cloth that someone handed her.
"Alex," She cooed softly, "It's going to be okay. I'm going to make sure of it."
December 20, 1976
Lily,
Vernon asked me to marry me! Isn't it wonderful? I can't wait to show you the ring. Its everything I always imagined it to be.
I know you don't like Vernon, and I'm sorry that I encouraged the animosity between you two. Lily, I am so incredibly happy, which is why I know you'll find it in your heart to be happy for me. It's also why I have to ask you, even though I know it's not fair. Please don't come home for Christmas this year. I told Vernon about your… peculiarities and he needs more time to take it all in.
I'm sorry.
Petunia
Lily reread the letter that her sister had sent only a week ago and felt the same stabbing sadness and hurt that she felt the first time she read it. She would say she couldn't believe her sister, but that wouldn't be strictly true. The letter was just so Petunia, deciding that Lily would understand and accept her request. She didn't ask for Lily to respond, which Lily hadn't. She'd written her parents, gave them an excuse that felt flimsy, even to her, but she hadn't responded to her sister. Lily thought something had changed this summer, the scene at the train giving her hope, even if Petunia had been impossible. But it hadn't. It would never change because neither Lily nor Petunia would ever consider changing. She knew it was the truth, even before her sister sent the letter, yet the letter had caught her off guard and broken her down in a way she did not fully understand. She thought she had more time before they went their separate ways, but Petunia had made her choice, chosen her path, just as Lily knew that she'd chose her path in a year and half. She supposed it was arrogant, thinking that she'd be the one to make the choice first. She blinked back tears, folded the letter, and put it away. Today would be difficult enough without feeling sorry for herself.
Lily slipped on her black dress robes. She twisted her hair into a low bun on the nape of her neck and pulled a few hairs from right below her ear, framing her face. She put on only a small amount of makeup. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, realizing this look made her look older. She studied her eyes, not sure if she loved or loathed the haunted look. She sighed, realizing that either way, there was nothing she could do about it.
Mary and Marlene had gone down to breakfast, but Alice was waiting for Lily. Lily smiled at her, suddenly grateful for Alice's friendship. Alice had a calming affect on her friends; when she was around, they were safe because Alice was tough and brave. Her strength was infectious. Lily straightened her back and held her head higher, feeling as ready as she would ever to face the day.
"You ready?" Alice asked softly, her voice gentle and unassuming.
"No." Lily said, but she grabbed her cloak and headed for the door. The two girls walked down to the Great Hall in silence. When they arrived, Lily was startled by the unnatural presence the big room had. There was no happy chatter or holiday cheer, which would normally be the case right before break. It was eerie and unsettling. Lily felt her unease return, despite Alice's presence.
Breakfast was a dreary affair. Lily automatically searching for James, before realizing that he was not there. Down the table, Peter and Remus smiled sadly at her. She smiled back weakly and felt guilty for silently wishing that James and Sirius were there.
The air in Great Hall was consumed with grief and fear. The silence was unnatural - the sound of silver clinking and cups being set down echoed through the room. There were a few whispers, their muffled sounds cutting across the silence with a rigid harshness. The girls ate quickly, not bothering to make conversation.
After breakfast, the girls followed the crowd to the horseless carriages. The journey was short and somber. Lily felt the weight of this moment, as she knew Marlene, Mary, and Alice did beside her. This wasn't the first funeral they had attended because of the Death Eaters, but it felt different. Alex Cruz was just a kid, like them. He'd been attacked at Hogwarts, by a fellow student. It felt different, both more real and infinitely more threatening. No one was safe, not anymore.
The ceremony was nice - many students would attest to it. Dumbledore addressed more than just Hogwarts students at the memorial, as parents, former students, and sympathetic witches and wizards showed up.
"Alex Cruz exemplified many of the qualities that distinguish Gryffindor house: he was courageous, chivalrous, and loyal. He was known by his classmates and professors to be kind and studious. Whether you knew him well or not, his death has affected you." Dumbledore said to the morose crowd.
"His death is a tragedy and Alex will be deeply missed. I'd like everyone to please stand and raise their glasses to someone who should still be with us: Alex Cruz." The entire crowd stood as glasses of butterbeer magically appeared in front of each attendee. "Alex Cruz" the crowd echoed in one booming voice.
"Though, I'd like to dedicate this time solely to the memory of Mr. Cruz, I feel I'd be remiss, if I did not say this: Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters are responsible for the life we mourn today." Dumbledore continued, as an uneasy thrill passed through the crowd. As his words sank in, fear, panic, and horror quickly found shape on the faces of the crowd.
"I have the opportunity to address you today, and I urge everyone to remember that we are stronger together. United we have a chance for justice for those we've lost, for Alex Cruz. Divided, we shall surely fall. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, kind, and brave, whose life was taken merely because of his blood. Remember Alex Cruz, who was taken from us much too soon."
The crowd was silent; the only sound was the muffled sobs of his friends, who were standing to the right of Lily and her friends. Lily took a shaky breath and felt the person on her right grab her hand. She looked up and gave Mary a terse smile.
"He accused the Death Eaters," Mary said quietly, fearfully. Lily studied her friend's face, recognizing the fear, but there was something else, under the surface that Lily couldn't identify. In that moment, Mary didn't look like the angry, bitter girl she had been for last few months. Instead Lily saw her unfailing kind friend shine through. Despite the seriousness of the situation and question, Lily fond herself wanting to smile.
"Who else do you think would be responsible?" Alice asked, though she was only half listening, looking at Betsy Hanson.
"But it happened inside Hogwarts." Mary said weakly, as if even she knew, though she was trying her best to not. "The war couldn't possibly reach us."
"Mary," Marlene said kindly, in a voice that she only used when addressing Mary. "What do you plan on doing after we graduate?" If the question surprised Mary, she gave no sign of response.
"I plan to fight, same as you." Mary's voice had a ring to it that Lily had never heard before: somehow proud, hopeful, fierce, and even a little scared, all in one. Something had changed in Mary that Lily had missed, but now that she saw it, she'd never view Mary the same way again. It wasn't a bad thing, but Lily felt a hint of sadness for the carefree childishness that they had both left behind.
"Yes, and I'd imagine there are those that plan to fight on the opposite side, who may believe their fight has already begun." Marlene said quietly. "There are many who believe they fight for the right side, that we are wrong."
Mary was silent for a moment, but she glanced at Lily. Lily broke her silent reverie, "It'll never be the same." Lily wasn't sure if she was talking about Hogwarts, the wizarding world, or herself. She choose not to analyze it because, frankly, she wasn't sure she would like the answer.
"No," Mary agreed. "It never will."
Lily stood in front of the alter, which was decorated with pictures of Alex Cruz. Some featured just him, grinning and waving at the camera. Others had his friends and girlfriend in them. Lily looked over the pictures, a deep sadness taking root in her heart. She wondered if it would ever leave or if it would grow like a cancerous tumor, healing only slightly before the next funeral, the next death until her heart was completely consumed and overtaken by the sadness.
"Why do I feel guilty?" A voice asked directly behind Lily. She recognized it immediately. She did not turn to look at him, not even when he threw his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him, however, acknowledging his presence. She found his presence comforting in a different way than she found Alice, and it surprised her how glad she was to see him. He understood her feelings and voiced them when she felt unsure if it was appropriate.
"We failed him, Sirius." Her voice shook, but only ever so slightly. "One year ago, I promised him that it would be okay. And now we're at his funeral." She felt him shift next to her, sagging a little as the weight of all of it settled on his shoulders.
"We didn't fail him, Lily." His voice was soft and low. "We didn't do this."
"Then how come I feel so completely responsible?" Lily demanded.
"Because you're a good person." A new voice cut in, one that both Lily and Sirius recognized instantaneously.
"James!" Lily exclaimed turning around and rushing to give him a hug. Though Lily did not see his expression, his body gave into the hug easily, pulling her closer while his head bent down to rest on top of hers. "I missed you." She whispered into his shoulder.
James' grip on Lily tightened, letting her know that he'd heard her even before he responded with words. "I missed you, too." Her grip loosened and she pulled away, though not completely. Lily looked up at James and opened her mouth to say - well she wasn't particularly sure what she wanted to say - but she noticed an older couple standing behind him. She pulled away completely, feeling the warmth of his closeness be replaced by the chill of the December air.
"Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I'm assuming." Lily glanced at James for confirmation. He nodded. "You look well!" She blushed. "I'm sorry. I'm Lily Evans. James has told me all about your recovery and I'm happy to see that you look well."
Euphemia Potter was an elegant woman. Lily thought she looked positively regal, with her pearls and her poise. Though obviously well advanced in age, she was very pretty, with bright hazel eyes – Lily thought they were quite similar to James' – and a tidy bun pleated at the nape of her neck.
Fleamont Potter resembled James. Or rather, James resembled his father. He was tall, like James, with a strong jaw, a long nose, and a thin frame. His hair was greying, and he had well-defined laugh lines. Despite the obvious signs of age, his presence had a mirthful, youthlike edge to it, even in the morose atmosphere.
"It's nice to meet you, Lily." Euphemia said with a smile.
"Very nice to meet you." Fleamont said, with a smirk that reminded Lily of his son. "We are doing well."
"I'm glad to hear it." Lily said with a smile. Lily felt shy, all of sudden, under Euphemia's eyes. She was obviously very classy, and she wondered what the boys had said about her over the years. Her fights with James had been infamous, and though she fully believed that James had deserved most of it, she hadn't always been nice. She felt embarrassment and shame, tinted with a vulnerability that she was certain she didn't like.
"We've heard so much about you from our boys." Euphemia said with a smile.
"Only good things I hope," Lily laughed nervously.
"Now Lils, I would never say anything bad about you." Sirius smirked. "And James has never thought a bad thing about you." Sirius and Lily exchanged a look, and it was clear that he had said that to ease her mind. She sent a small smile his way, thanking him for understanding her instinctively for the second time that day.
"Sirius and I were hoping that Lily could come stay with us for a few days over break, if that's okay?" The question was directed at both his parents and Lily.
"Of course." Mrs. Potter said, with a smile. "James' friends are always welcome to stay with us."
Lily looked nervously back at James, avoiding Sirius' knowing smirk. "I'm staying with the McKinnons over break, but maybe we can spend a day or two with you." Everyone noticed the "we" Lily clearly added with purpose, but James was grinning, happy for whatever she was offering.
She had a slight blush on her cheeks, which James found absolutely lovely. Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchanged a look, which Lily definitely noticed. "I'll write to you later tonight and let you know." She said, the blush intensified but she held her head high.
"Lily Evans?" A voice called behind Lily. It was a male voice, filled with a tone of someone who has just happened upon a happy coincidence. She whirled around, clearly knowing the man the voice belonged to.
"Conner McKinnon," Lily called back in the same tone as Conner. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Romania?" The second sentence was said with a tone that James did not recognize, like Lily was trying to hide something under false cheer. The whole group turned to address the newcomer.
James immediately recognized the man in front of him. He was two years ahead of them in school and had been the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain. He was a good captain and an even better Quidditch player. Before he graduated, he had been James' biggest threat in terms of Quidditch. James watched him greet Lily by pulling her into a hug and off her feet, spinning her around. He set her down, looking at Lily with a look that made James feel incredibly unsettled and jealous.
"I'm on holiday. Aunt Lydia asked me to come home, says the kids miss me." He smiled down at Lily – he was almost a foot taller than her – with a smug, smitten look. James immediately disliked him.
Lily smiled back. "Marly will be so thrilled! She's really missed you." Conner opened his mouth, and James was certain that he was going to ask if she had missed him, and James did not want to hear her say that she did. However, when he spoke, he said something else entirely, which was unexpectedly worse.
"I heard you are staying with us during the break?" James' stomach churned. Sirius nudged him in the stomach, as if prompting him to do something, but James' wasn't sure what he could do. Sirius gave James a frustrated look and sighed.
"Actually, mate," Sirius interrupted. "James and I had just invited her to stay with us. Didn't we, Lils?"
"Stay with you and Potter?" Conner asked, laughing at the absurdity of it. He looked at Lily, perhaps to make a joke or continue with his conversation but stopped short when he saw the look on her face.
"Am I missing something?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing. "Because just last semester, you couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other. In fact, last time we spoke, you called Potter a-"
"Conner." Lily said sharply, with a guilty glance at James and his parents. "James and Sirius are my friends. We've worked through our differences."
"James and Sirius." He repeated, looking at Lily closely. "And you're sure Potter hasn't slipped you a love potion of some sort?" He looked up, glaring at James in a way that convinced him that the dislike was mutual.
Lily laughed. "Yes, I am." There was an edge to her voice that James was very familiar with. Her tone was soft, but there was a warning which said one wrong word would set her off. Conner either didn't see it or completely ignored her warning.
"You're laughing, but I could honestly see Potter and Black pulling a stunt like that." Conner glared at the pair. Sirius smirked back, a challenge in his eyes.
"Stop." Lily said, her patience waning. She glanced between both Sirius and Conner, to make sure they understood she was scolding both of them. Her words were directed at Conner, as her look was significant enough communication between her and Sirius. "I told you: they are my friends. I didn't confess my undying love for either of them, so I'm not really sure what the big deal is."
"Okay. Whatever. It doesn't matter." He took a deep breath and cleared the frustration from his features. "You are staying with us, right? I know it's been a while since we talked, and I know we left things on a bad note. But Lily, I made a big mistake-"
"Conner." Lily said, a little tint of a desperate edge to her voice, especially when she caught sight of Marlene, who James thought looked as confused as he felt. "Please don't." Her voice was soft.
"I know I hurt you." Conner said, rushing on despite Lily's warning. "I was a horrible, stupid git. I have no excuse other than that, but I can be better. We can be better."
"Let's go somewhere and talk." Lily suggested, but Conner would not be swayed, he was rooted to the spot, demanding an answer right there in front of everyone. As Lily watched Conner smirk over her shoulder – presumably at James, though Lily could not tell for certain without turning around to look – Lily got the sinking feeling that a part of his plea was just for show, or at the very least, as a method of one-upping James.
He looked sincere enough, though Conner always looked sincere. She studied him closely, coming to the conclusion that he hadn't changed since she saw him in June. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, the same color and shape as Marlene's. He had the kind of boyish good looks every girl dreams about: a strong jaw, big eyes, and a warm smile. His face had a likable quality to it that went beyond his handsomeness and disarmed even the most weary. Yet, Lily had come to mistrust Conner.
They began dating the summer before Lily's fifth year. Lily had spent most of her summer with the McKinnons. Severus and Lily had been fighting more and more, and Petunia had been particularly nasty. She had found refuge at the McKinnon household. The six McKinnon children – Luke, Alex, Conner, Marlene, Donna, and Ken – lived in the Manner House in the country with a pretty little pond surrounded by a quaint little wooded area. Lily loved everything about it, and she loved the McKinnon Family. They fought, of course, as all siblings do, but it was nothing like how Petunia and Lily fought. It was there that fifteen-year-old Lily Evans had become infatuated with her best friend's older brother.
It had been the kind of summer romance that young adult romance novels feature. They took long walks, went to summer festivals in the nearby muggle town, and had their first kiss with the sun setting in the background. It was sweet and fun, but it all came crashing to a bitter end when Conner had told her that he didn't think they could continue dating while at Hogwarts because "he wanted to focus on Quidditch." He had just been appointed Quidditch captain, but Lily hadn't understood why that meant they had to break up.
She'd kept her hopes up, therefore, allowing Conner time to adjust to the new demands of N.E.W.T.S. and Quidditch. She just knew he'd come back to her, once he settled into his new routine. Her hopes, however, where crushed, after the first Quidditch match, where Ravenclaw had defeated Slytherin under Conner's new leadership. She had gone to congratulate him, a hopeful smile and skip her step, and found him passionately snogging Amber Matlock, a sixth year Ravenclaw.
Though only a year and a half older, Lily reflected, that fifth year Lily had been so much more naïve than she was now. In the 18 months between then and now, everything had changed. Conner's charm no longer seemed quite as warm and real. She mistrusted him almost as an instinct.
He was looking at her with that same wide eye stare, but Lily couldn't help but be unimpressed. It wasn't like she was still angry with him because she really wasn't. She searched her heart for any anger and found none. All of the hurt and resentment had been washed away. It was a fun summer, one that she remembered fondly, but definitely not something she wanted to repeat.
"This isn't really an appropriate place to have this discussion. We are at Alex Cruz's memorial." Lily had put distance between them. She met Marlene's eyes and the two girls appeared to communicate something to each other, though Conner appeared oblivious to the silent communication.
Still Conner pushed for answer, stepping closer to Lily and gently grabbing her arm. "Please, Lily. I've missed you so much." James derived some sort of sick pleasure as he realized, despite the numerous rejections he had been on the receiving end of, she had never given him such a uncomfortable, disingenuous look.
He obviously thought she'd still be interested in him; he obviously thought she was still the little timid girl she had been. That made Lily a little angry, though she recognized that as her pride getting the best of her. "I'm sorry Alex." Her voice remained kind and calm, but it had developed a firm and clear edge to it. "I don't think me staying with you is a good idea."
Conner had started to protest, but Marlene had interceded, suggesting that he go find Donna and Ken. He didn't fight Marlene on the issue but turned to look at Lily with sad eyes before leaving to search for his younger siblings.
"Where are you going to stay?" Marlene asked, her forehead lined with worry.
"With us, of course!" Sirius said, his charming smile spreading to cover his entire face.
Marlene and Lily looked at each other, once again communicating silently. Lily blushed and Marlene smirked.
"Mum," Alice exclaimed, surprise evident in her voice. "I didn't realize you were coming! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry, dear." Mrs. Fawley, said. She was short and willowy, with a youthful face. She didn't look at day over 28, or at least that's what her husband told her. Her husband wasn't present, which Alice silently thanked the heavens for. One parent was enough; two would have been awful.
"It's okay." Alice said. Mrs. Fawley did not respond, so Alice continued. "The Potters are here. My friend Lily is speaking with them, but I'm certain she wouldn't mind an interruption." Even from afar, Alice could see Lily's blush.
"Mrs. Fawley!" A voice called from behind Alice. Even before she turned, Alice knew. It was Frank Longbottom. She cringed to herself, remembering their last encounter.
"I don't want to do this, Alice!" Betsy exclaimed. Her expression was riddled with worry, pain, and fear.
Alice squeezed her hand. "I'll be with you the whole time. Frank is nice, and if he's not, I'll hex him." Alice said this simply, as if threatening, even hypothetically, to hex an Auror was not a big deal.
"You wouldn't dare!" Betsy exclaimed. She had a small, disbelieving smile on her face, which had been Alice's whole purpose of teasing her.
"I will, too!" She grinned. "Just you wait."
"Miss Hannon," Frank called, peering his head outside the makeshift office, in the same manner her had done with Alice.
Betsy squeezed Alice's hand tightly. Alice grimaced, but pulled herself and, by extension, Betsy up to standing position. She nudged Betsy, who started walking into the office, pulling Alice with her.
"This is a one-on-one interview, Miss Fawley." Frank said. His voice had an authoritative ring to it, which Alice immediately resented.
"Not today, it isn't." Alice barked back. "Betsy has requested I come with her." She gave Frank a hard stare.
"Only a guardian is allowed." He said again, in that same hard, authoritative voice.
"So, I'm assuming you invited Betsy's parents to join us, then?" She paused, waiting for a correction she knew would not come. "You didn't invite mine either."
"You're seventeen." Frank countered.
"True," Alice smiled, grinning at her victory. "Betsy, however, is not."
"You're still not a guardian." Though his voice had lost some of its confidence.
"True," her smile grew wider. "Betsy asked me to be with her. You can choose not to honor her wishes." Betsy made a small noise of indignation, though Frank regarded her wearily, clearly knowing she wasn't finished. "You'd most likely be able to prevent me from entering. You wouldn't, however, be able to prevent me from writing my dearest cousin, Rita Skeeter, about our exchange. You know who Rita is, I'd imagine? She wrote that delightful article about you last month."
Frank swallowed, considering his options. "Fine." He said, his voice more growl than words. "But if you interfere with the integrity of this interview, I'll write you up for obstruction of justice."
"No, you won't." She grinned at him, meeting his eye. He shook his head.
Betsy looked at Alice with awe, her hand firmly clasped in Alice's hand.
"So, Miss Hannon," Frank began, his eyes were on Alice even as he addressed the younger girl. "Before we begin, I want to express my deepest condolences. Your friend did not deserve to die that way." His eyes shifted to look at Betsy, full of real compassion.
Betsy looked at Alice, gathering her courage. "Boyfriend." She corrected. Alice was silently impressed with Betsy. Her tone, body language, and attitude had shifted in mere seconds; she no longer seemed timid or scared.
"Excuse me?" Frank asked mildly, though Alice detected a little surprise.
"Alex Cruz was my boyfriend. They killed him for it, so I think it should be recorded correctly."
"I'm sorry, Miss Hannon." Frank said softly. His voice was filled with compassion again. Alice wondered if he had left out the nature of Betsy and Alex's relationship on purpose, perhaps to protect her in the future. It was an absurd thought, as the Ministry's top priority was solving this case, and that would be counterproductive. Still, Alice wondered.
"Get on with it, then." Betsy sighed, squeezing Alice's hand so hard, Alice feared her fingers may break.
"Did Alex have any enemies?"
"Not really." Betsy said. "He was shy, quiet. There were a group of Slytherins that were mean to him, though."
"Could you provide names?" Alice leaned back, already knowing the names Betsy would list because she'd seen the bullying first hand and because she knew who the culprits were.
"Severus Snape, Regulus Black, and Evan Rosier. Mulciber, Wilkes - the younger one, I can't remember his name, and Zambini weren't very nice either."
"Are there any specific alterations you can recall?" Frank asked, leaning forward.
"He was attacked last year. Though I suppose you already know that." Frank nodded. "Snape and Black used to hex his bag in the corridors. All of his books would spill out. They'd laugh and call him names." She paused, which Frank noticed.
"What names?" He asked softly, taking notes.
"I won't say it." Betsy said. "The m-word."
"Anything else?"
"Mulciber, the big 6th year, hit him once. Not with magic, but he bruised his ribs. Alex wouldn't say what happened, but if I had to guess, he bruised his ribs."
"You saw these bruises?" Frank asked.
"Yes, sir." Betsy answered diligently. Alice sat up in her seat, knowing where this line of questioning was headed.
"How?" Frank
The words seemed to hang in the air, as Betsy tried her best to stutter an answer.
"Is that relevant?" Alice asked, harshly.
"It could be." Frank said. "Miss Hannon, did anyone at school know you were sexually active?"
Betsy remained silent. She didn't turn her head or break eye contact with Frank. She didn't even blink. Alice was impressed.
"Did any of your pureblood relatives know you were having sexual relations with Alex Cruz?"
Alice blanched, realizing something. "Yes." Betsy said. "Over the summer, I had an operation done."
"Betsy," Alice said, interrupting her. "Anything you say in this testimony is public record."
Betsy paused for a minute, a look of hesitation on her face. "Will this help catch whoever did this to him?"
Frank nodded. "Alice is right, though. Anything you say will be public record and could be reviewed during a trial."
"It's not what you think." Betsy said quietly. "A healer performed a surgery because I had been experiencing stomach problems which no potion was able to cure, at least not permanently. There was a form we had to fill out about our medical history. I'm a minor, so my mother had access to those records."
"You believe your mother saw these records, Miss Hanson?" Frank asked gently.
"I know she did. She was very unhappy when she found out. Said that wasn't how good pureblood ladies behaved. She asked all sorts of questions about the boy I had been seeing…" Betsy stopped talking, as she tried to regain control of her emotions, though it was obvious she was holding in sobs. "You don't think… My mother couldn't possibly be responsible for… oh my god." She was sobbing again.
Alice slid her arm around the younger girl, who leaned into her. "Take a deep breath." Alice murmured. "In… Out… In… Out… Good. Concentrate on your breathing. We're almost done, I promise."
Alice looked up with Frank and sent him a warning look. He nodded, but Alice didn't fully trust him.
"I'm sorry that I have to ask this, Miss Hanson, but what are your mother's…. political leanings?" Frank said, though not in an unkind manner.
"You're asking if she's a purist?" Betsy said slowly, her voice developing a hard edge. "No. My mother has never said one prejudice thing."
"And your relatives?" Frank prompted.
"We all purist relatives. We're all bloody related." Alice snapped. "You know that just as well as we do."
"Alice, you have to let her answer." Frank said, his voice full of forced calm.
"None of my relatives have ever said anything to me…" Her eyes were wide. "I've never really paid attention to anything political. I liked Alex from the second I met him, and it never really occurred to me that he was different or that my family wouldn't approve."
Frank sent Betsy a searching look. "You can go, Miss. Hanson. I, or one of my associates, may call you in for more questioning." Betsy nodded and both girls stood up to leave. "Miss Fawley, could you please stay for a second."
Betsy sent Alice a fearful look, but Alice smiled sweetly at the younger girl. "I'll be out in just a second, Betsy." Frank waited until Betsy left, closing the door behind her. Alice raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair, which prompted Frank to speak.
"It would be really helpful if we could get a list of all of her relatives who knew about Betsy and Alex." Frank said softly.
"And you want me to help with that?" Alice said, though her voice had lost some of its edge.
"She trusts you." Frank said simply. "I understand that she also trusts her family, but odds are, someone in her family was unhappy that she was dating a muggleborn."
"Not necessarily." Alice countered. "Everyone at school knew they were dating, and it happened here. Perhaps her family wasn't involved. What if the Death Eaters weren't involved and it was just a madman who goes to school with us?"
"In order to determine that, we need to rule out the other possibilities." Frank countered. "Very advanced magic was used. It seems unlikely that this a singular person acting on his own, especially in light of Derek Button's death and Blake Henderson's disappearance."
"You're asking me to ruin her faith in her family. She's not like you or I." Alice said, her voice fierce. "She's sweet and kind. She doesn't think ill of anyone and she's grieving. If you take away her trust in her family, in her support system, she may never trust anyone again."
"And if we don't figure out who did this, people are going to die. More people like Alex and Derek. Innocent people." Frank snapped, finally losing his temper. He took a few deep breaths. "I hear what you are saying, but if we are going to catch the people responsible, we need to keep moving forward with this investigation."
Alice tapped her fingers on the desk, contemplating what he said. "I'll try, but surely the weight of a serious ministry investigation does not rely on the testimony of one fifteen-year girl who has just suffered an immense tragedy?"
"Well no." Frank said.
"Excellent." Alice said shortly. "I'll do my best, and you'll continue to do your job." She stood up. She paused before she reached the door. "That girl is innocent, Mr. Longbottom. More than I was, more than Flora is. She's innocent and sweet, and I will not let this destroy her. I want this case solved more than you can ever know, but I won't let it be at the expense of another innocent." She paused again. "And Rita Skeeter isn't my cousin."
Then she left the door, shutting it with a loud thud.
Alice cringed as Frank got closer and closer to her and her mother. "Frank, dear. How wonderful to see you! How's your mother?"
Frank smirked at Alice's obvious discomfort. "She's well, thank you. She wished she could be here, but she's with Uncle Alfred." Alice's mother nodded. Clearly, she had information that Alice did not.
"How is dear Alfie? We were so sorry to hear about Anita's passing. I went to school with her. She was a very sweet woman."
"Thank you, Mrs. Fawley. I'll tell my uncle that you send your regards. It has been hard on him. Aunt Anita really took care of him."
"That sounds like Anita." Mrs. Fawley said, with a sad smile. "First Anita and now this. It's a right shame, it is. Tell me, Frank, are we any closer to catching the people responsible?" She gave Frank a stern look, which Alice immediately recognized. Alice's mother was a lot of things – mostly she was drunk, but when she had all of her wits about her, she could be incredibly shrewd. Alice almost pitied Frank: she'd certainly cower if her mother's gaze had been cast against her.
"That's classified, I'm afraid." Alice recognized Frank's "Auror" voice.
"Oh, pish posh. I saw you when you were in diapers." Frank's ears turned pink, but that was the only sign of his embarrassment.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Fawley." He said, his voice firm. "It was lovely seeing you. Alice." He nodded in Alice's direction.
"Well, I never!" Alice's mom snapped, as soon Frank was out of hearing range. "If Augustus could hear her son now! In my day, we respected our elders."
"Mom," Alice said, "It's an official investigation. He can't just go around blabbing sensitive information. Besides, I'm pretty positive they suspect that the girlfriend's families are involved. He probably hasn't ruled you out, yet."
"Ruled me out?" Mrs. Fawley looked appalled. "I'd never be involved in a thing like that!"
"I know that, but they have reason to suspect Betsy Hannon's mum of being involved." Alice said solemnly, she glanced at Betsy, who was speaking to Professor McGonagall. Her eyes were puffy and red, but she looked well enough, Alice supposed.
"That's horrible." Mrs. Fawley sighed. "It's all horrible. How are you?" Her voice had taken a motherly tone, which Alice seldom heard.
Alice looked at Betsy again, trying to piece together the words. Severus Snape was standing behind her, looking particularly moody today. Evan Rosier stood next to him, with a particular nasty expression. They both gesturing in front of them, clearly having an argument. Alice's eyes went out of focus – she heard a laugh, cruel and demeaning in the back of her heard. She couldn't place where she had heard it, but fear ran through her entire body.
"I-" but she stopped short, suddenly realizing something. "Mom, I'll be right back."
Alice bolted through the crowd, her eyes searching. She could hear her mother calling after her, but she didn't stop. She didn't stop when Mrs. Potter greeted her, though she did slow down enough to ask if she had seen where Frank Longbottom had gone.
She finally caught up with him – in the corner booth at the very back of the Three Broomsticks. He was sitting with two men and a woman who Alice didn't recognize.
"Frank!" Alice was practically gasping for air by the time she reached him. "I remembered something."
Frank's eyes went wide, and quickly excused himself. He pulled her in the back room of the pub and shushed her when she asked if it was okay for them to be back there.
"You remember something?" He asked, disbelievingly. "How?"
"Evan Rosier attacked Alex Cruz." She said, waving away his questions. "I saw him today and I heard his laugh."
"You heard his laugh…?" Frank said slowly. "Alice what exactly do you remember?"
"I remember hearing Evan Roiser's laugh as I was attacked. It was cruel and mocking."
"I can't send a man – and certainly not a Roiser – away for murder by his laugh, Alice. Do you remember seeing him? Could you take the stand and implicate him in his crime? We need proof."
"No." But Alice didn't waiver. "I didn't say this could convict him. But I know it was him. It gives you a reason to investigate him, doesn't it?"
"I suppose." Frank said softly. "But I can't promise anything." Alice nodded.
The Potter's were very different than Lily expected. James lived in a beautiful home, though Lily supposed mansion was more accurate, but thinking the word made Lily feel massively uncomfortable. Despite her discomfort with James' obvious wealth, Lily had never felt more at home in any place.
The Potters were incredibly kind. Mrs. Potter went out of her way to make sure Lily felt welcomed. The room she stayed in was beautiful, and had clearly been designed for luxury and comfort. It had a massive bed, the fluffiest down comforter imaginable, and comfortable pillows.
James had taken her to her room. Lily had been massively uncomfortable when Sirius had made several jokes about Lily marrying James for his money, but James had the good grace to look uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry about him." James said, following her into the room and closing the door. "He's been cooped up here; he's just excited to have other people here besides me and my parents."
"I know." Lily said, with a small smile, as she began unpacking a few of her items. She eyed the bed, wanting nothing more than to lay down and go to sleep. "It's been a very emotional couple of weeks. Cruz's death has been hard on him."
James looked at her, tilting his head, as if realizing something for the first time. "He's been drinking a lot. I've been so wrapped up in my parents…" He trailed off, his hand going to his hair. "Fuck."
"You've had a lot going on. We all have. I'll talk to him." Her voice was soothing, though it did little relieve his distress.
"I don't want to talk about Sirius right now." James' voice had taken a tone that Lily had never heard before. "And that's really selfish, but I don't care."
"James." Lily knew what was coming, knew there was no way to stop it. She sat on the bed, and looked up at him.
"McKinnon?" He asked, bitterness seeping into the question despite himself.
"It was a long time ago." Lily's voice was far away. "And it doesn't matter."
"I didn't even know." James moved to sit next to her on the bed next to Lily. He ran his hand through his hair.
"It was the summer before fifth year. It was over before summer ended. Said he wanted to focus on Quidditch."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." James said, turning to look at her. "I never would have said that."
Lily laughed. "I didn't even know you were serious at that time." She said the words softly. "I thought it was just a way to mess with Severus."
"I did a lot of things that I wish I could take back," James' voice was barely above a whisper, but it was intense and genuine. "But I'd never do that to you. Never."
"I know that now." Lily said quietly. "I wish I knew that then."
"I don't." Lily raised her eyebrows turning to look at James full on.
"I needed to grow up. We couldn't be us back then. I didn't know how to be." He gestured between them, conveying more with the gesture than he could with words.
"You might be right." Lily's voice was lower now, and James realized how close she was. He leaned in closer, unable to stop himself. He remembered the train ride to Hogwarts, how close they'd been, but how horribly far away he'd felt from her. This didn't feel like that. Not at all. He was mere inches away and, although he couldn't rule out his imagination, he felt like she wanted him there.
"Conner was right today. He did make a huge mistake." James' heart was beating frantically. Lily leaned in closer. They were centimeters apart now.
"I don't want to talk about Conner. I don't care about Conner." She was looking directly in his eyes, and he wanted to kiss her so badly.
"Fuck Conner." James agreed. "Lily, I'm going to kiss you if you don't stop me."
He heard Lily gasp, but his eyes were already half closed, closing the distance between them. He expected Lily to stop him. He expected her to say something, tell him that it wasn't going to happen. So when James' lips touched Lily's, he almost flinched in shock.
Instead, he carefully put one hand behind her head and the other behind her back, pulling her closer towards him. The kiss was gentle and sweet and lasted around twenty seconds. James pulled back, looking at Lily with disbelief.
"James-" Lily started to say, but he cut her off.
"I know. I know you need more time. I fully intend to give you that time. I am, however, going to kiss you again, because I am definitely going to need something to tide me over until you decide you want to be with me."
He didn't let her respond, just leaned in and kissed her again. This kiss was completely different than the first kiss. Though still unassuming, this kiss was a hundred times more intense. James had pulled Lily so that she was practically in his lap. His hands threaded through her hair and his tongue parted her lips. She pulled him closer with a force which surprised him and spurned him on further.
This, Lily realized, was something she couldn't have predicted. His hands stayed in her hair and her waist, but she could feel him everywhere. She let him lead the kiss, mostly because it had taken her by surprise. His lips moved at a languid pace, exploring her mouth slowly and thoroughly. His hands were gentle and soft, caressing her softly and holding her firmly against him. The pace of her kiss was driving her crazy. She pulled closer to James, attempting to quicken their pace, attempting to obtain something she couldn't put her finger on. James obliged, but only slightly. He pulled her into his lap, kissing her back as frantically as she was.
He pulled back after a few seconds. "I want you to think about that." His voice was rough, and he sounded smug. "I know you're not ready, but I want you to think about that kiss every day. Because I promise you, it will always be like that between us."
He smiled at her and then left the room. Lily flopped on the bed and sighed deeply. What had she gotten herself into?
"I snogged James." Lily declared, flopping herself on Sirius' bed, which was conveniently located across the hall from hers.
Sirius looked up, a complete look of shock settling into his features. "Its about damn time." He said after he had collected himself.
Lily huffed, though only half-heartedly. "I guess. I told James that we would talk about Alex Cruz and why you've been drinking so much lately."
Sirius made a noise of displeasure but remained silent. Lily knew that Sirius was waiting for her lecture, but everything sounded stupid, even in her head. "I don't want to talk about it either. I feel just as responsible as you do."
Sirius sat up, turning to face Lily. His eyes sought hers. A clear understanding passed between the two, and Lily knew that they wouldn't actually be discussing Alex Cruz at length. He felt just as numb as she did about the situation. He hadn't deserved to die, but he was dead. It was only going to get worse. There was very little either of them could do, at least until they graduated. Lily understood why he was drinking, just as Sirius understood that he needed to stop.
"Was it a full-on snog?" Sirius asked.
"Oh yeah." Lily answered, a rough quality to her voice. Sirius snickered in response.
"Did you enjoy it?" He was smirking. He would tease them both mercilessly, but he was glad that Lily had confided in him. He was a little surprised that James hadn't come bursting in his room the second after he'd left Lily's.
Lily blushed, causing Sirius to laugh. "Will there be a repeat?"
Silence. Lily wasn't sure how to put what happened into words or the overwhelming fear she was feeling.
"Lily… You can't have it both ways."
"I know." Lily responded hollowly. "They're killing people, Si."
There was a long pause as they both digested the words. It was the reality of their situation and it wasn't new information to either of them.
"James doesn't care." Sirius said softly.
"He should. It's not worth it."
"Oh, I assure you, it is definitely worth it to him." His voice was serious as he stared at Lily.
"So what now?" Sirius asked, when he realized Lily wasn't going to respond.
"I don't know." She whispered. "And I know its not fair, coming to you when you're his best friend, but you understand." Her voice was desperately seeking out his agreement.
"I do." He begrudgingly admitted. "It doesn't make it suck any less."
Lily slept in the next day, enjoying the comfort of the Potter's guest bedroom. She had never slept in a more comfortable bed in her life, and even after she was wide awake, she was loathed to leave the bed.
She made her way down for breakfast, though it was closer to lunchtime. She was greeted by the entire Potter clan, including Sirius. The second she saw them, she knew. They were all waiting for her. She saw James' anxious expression first. He started to move towards her, but clearly thought better of it, pausing mid movement. It was Sirius' face, however, that made her heart stop. It was raw intensity: worry, anger, and empathy.
"Who?" She rasped, dreed seeping through every fiber, ever pore in her body.
There was a silence, as the Potters all waited for someone else to speak first. In the end, it was Sirius, his remorse and anger winning out. "Lily, Conner McKinnon is dead."
"No." Lily said, as she sank into a chair. Yesterday, Conner had very publicly announced that he had romantic feelings towards her and now he was dead. The comprehension was instantaneous, horror filled her entire body, and she began to shake. "No." She repeated.
"Lily," It was James, his voice etching with compassion. He had come up beside her, reaching out to her. She jerked away from his touch.
"Marlene? Is she okay?" Lily asked desperately, purposefully not meeting James' eyes. "Donna and Ken? Alex and Lucas? Are they…?" Tears spilled down Lily's face.
"Yes, the rest of McKinnons are unharmed." Mrs. Potter said softly, coming to stand next to Lily. She hesitantly put her hand on Lily's shoulder, which visibly reduced the shaking.
"How?" Lily croaked.
"We don't know all of the details. A neighbor saw the Dark Mark at around six this morning." Mr. Potter said.
Lily took several deep breaths, attempting to calm herself. Then Sirius was there. He had swatted James away – despite his protest – and gathered Lily in his arms. Sirius said several things, of which Lily did not comprehend.
"Tell me it wasn't because of me." Lily demanded through her tears. "Tell me it wasn't because of yesterday." The question was directed at Sirius.
Sirius looked at Lily, his face a ghastly pale color. Their eyes met and she knew. What's worse is that he knew, even before she'd asked, that she already knew the answer. Conner McKinnon had confessed his love for Lily, and the Death Eaters had killed him for it.
Lily was hysterical. "But I turned him down. I turned him away." Horror filled Lily's eyes. "Oh God. I was so cruel. They killed him because of me, and I was so awful."
And then Lily began to cry.
AN: So, it took way to long to post this chapter. I don't have excuses. I know exactly where this story is going, I have a layout for every chapter, and yet I am struggling to capture the true terror, sadness, and pain. Please leave a review and let me know how I did. I felt detached while writing this, and I'm not sure it came out the way I wanted it to. I know I suck at updating in a timely fashion, but I swear we are really moving forward.
There are only going to be a few more chapters – six at the most. I toyed with the idea of following them during their time in the Order, but I don't think I can. When I started this story, the concept and emotions were all theoretical: the prejudice, the hatred, and the fear. It's become too real for me on several levels, and it's making me put off writing this story. At the same time, I feel such a connection with it.
It may be a few weeks before I update, but I promise I will finish the story. The next chapter is going to center around Marlene, as she's obviously just lost her brother.
Thank you all for reading and for your patience.