Trigger Warning: mentions of abuse and sexual assault are depicted in this chapter. Please read with caution x

"Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go." - Stephen King

~Chapter Twelve~

Fire In The Water

Bella hadn't realized she fell into a nightmare until she heard herself screaming.

The hole in her stomach when she awoke left her heaving on the side of the bed. Her eyes were wide as she clutched at her stomach, not being able to stop the pained whimper from escaping her lips.

The images in her mind were haunting even as she woke. It had felt as if Bella had been there again, that horrible night that made her wish she was dead. Bree's screams as Fred was dragged away from the sorry excuse for a room. Fred called out Bella's name repeatedly as James walked up behind her to claim ownership over her, finally.

It was sickening.

What she'd done that night had been the foulest thing that she can never erase. They were engraved in her skin and bones, carved into her mind, and no matter how many times she tried to wash the stains from her body by scrubbing until her flesh was pink, in the end, that's all that was left. But she had to do it. The girl had to try at least to scrub away the feel of his cold hands on her arms.

Running to the bathroom, Bella didn't bother closing the door before shedding her pajamas and getting under the cold shower until it started scalding her. Bella desperately reached for the bar of soap and scrubbed at her arms, legs, and stomach. Ignoring the way her nails scratched at her skin, leaving red streaks against her pale flesh. Her eyes were wide-eyed, desperately searching for the stains she could not see.

Get it off.

Bella sunk into the tub, never hearing the knock at her bedroom door in her panic. Her scrubbing turning manic as her eyes focused on one spot before moving to the next.

Have to get it off.

Bella flinched when she realized her nails broke the skin on her wrist, and then she heard Bree's voice again.

I'll kill you!

No...

Don't touch her! Please!

I'll kill you if you take him from me!

Bree...

That had been the first time Bella heard her calm friend scream, say such cold words to anyone. And the fact that she had the courage to say them to James and Riley for what they were doing to Bella...for what they had done to Fred. It was more than Bella ever did.

When she felt his hands on her arms again, Bella screamed, flinching away and curling into herself in a desperate attempt to stop it from happening again.

"Bella! Bella, stop!"

Esme.

Looking up through her tears, Bella saw Esme pleading with the girl to stop hurting herself.

"Sweetheart, it's me. Stop, you're bleeding."

Bella blinked, finally feeling the sting in the cuts she inflicted from all the scrubbing she'd done. Her skin burned from the scalding water and the soap being roughly rubbed into her pores.

"Get it off..." Bella murmured, inching as far away from Esme as she could, not caring that Esme could see her naked form.

Esme was on her knees beside the tub. Her hands still holding Bella's wrists but not to harm her, "What?"

She pulled her hands away from Esme before moving to scrub at her legs, "I have to get it off. I'm...dirty."

Esme watched Bella as she continued running her hand with the bar of soap over her legs until her skin was covered in suds. Knowing exactly what the girl needed, Esme moved to change the water's temperature to warm instead of boiling before letting the tub fill up. While Esme reached for one of the sponges, she whispered, "Can I help you?"

Bella stopped but wouldn't look at Esme, her eyes shining with unshed tears, "You can't. You'll get dirty too."

Esme didn't have it in her to pull the girl out of the tub and hug her, to tell her that there was no way a child as innocent and gentle as her could be deemed as something "dirty."

"Why do you say that?"

The girl shrugged as if what she was going to say was nothing major. As if the cuts on her skin and hysterical scrubbing was a part of her routine. Esme had heard Bella take showers before, heard the scrubbing to the sponge against her skin several times, but it had never been this bad.

A part of her was ashamed that as a mother, Esme hadn't realized why Bella did this every time she took a shower.

"I have to get it off me. I did bad things. Really bad things..." Bella's choked out the words.

"Get what off, Bella? Can you tell me so I can understand, sweetheart?"

Bella let out a shuttering breath as she hugged her knees to her chest.

"You'll get...mad at me." Bella released a sob that broke Esme's heart.

She could hear her sons and daughters stop their movements completely, Carlisle's pacing in the hall right outside Bella's bedroom.

"I promise you nothing you tell me would ever, ever make me mad at you." Esme chose to ignore the way Bella flinched from the woman, curling her fingers under Bella's chin to get her to look at her. "Nothing, Bella."

Bella's breath hitched, the trembling making the water in the tub ripple in response.

"I never...wanted him to...touch me. I did all of the..."

Tears ran down her flushed cheeks endlessly like a neverending stream. Bella felt sick having to say the words out loud, for the first time, and to Esme nonetheless.

"But I tried to run away with F-Fred and...Bree. We were so stupid! We should have thought better of it but," she dug her nails into her arms, "but we were so tired! I couldn't stand it anymore! Touching those men every night made me sick! Sick!"

Bella's voice raised higher and higher, her anger and devastation finally unraveling. And no one could tell her not to feel this way because they all felt it too. Esme and Carlisle grieved to hear Bella finally tell them what she had been forced to do. Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were revolted to imagine what their little sister, innocent and timid Bella had to give up every day. And Edward...he'd been gripping the edge of the marble counter hard enough that he shattered the corner.

"And when they caught us, he told me...told me to give up. If I did that, then he'd let them live. He lied to me, but I still did it! I let him defile me only so that he could kill Fred and Bree in the end anyway!"

Esme wished this had been different. All of it. She wished this wasn't Bella's story. Or anyone's for that matter. She wished she had been there for Bella, to destroy Trinity and those vile monsters. Her cold, dead heart shattered when Bella's sobs were uncontrollable, and this time, she picked Bella up, ignoring the way her sleeves dripped from the water, and carried her daughter to the bed.

She helped Bella dry off, slip her pajamas on before crawling onto the bed with the trembling girl. She wrapped her arms around Bella and rocked her back and forth, letting her cry and sob as much as she needed to.

"I am so sorry, love. So sorry." Esme's own voice broke up this time as she continued running her fingers through Bella's wet hair.

Bella sniffled, "You're going to think I'm disgusting now."

"Bella, no! I could never-"

Before Esme could continue, a knock at the door made them both stop. Carlisle opened the door and was by their side in an instant, sitting at the edge of the bed as his shining black eyes stared into Bella's hesitant ones.

"We could never think that of you." He said tenderly.

Bella shifted in Esme's arms, turning to face Carlisle.

She looked away from him, curling forward as a breathy sob escaped her lips. Her hands covered her face as they continued spilling out from her lungs until her throat burned.

"I didn't want any of this to happen..."

When two pairs of arms pulled her into a bone-crushing, suffocating embrace, Bella wept into Carlisle's chest while Esme's rested on her daughter's back.

"Forgive me..."

Carlisle and Esme held onto Bella until she tired herself out, and her fragile body leaned further into the two vampire's touch. And neither Carlisle nor Esme let her go.

Bella's cries could be heard clearly even from downstairs.

The others could hear Carlisle and Esme's tender voices as they soothed Bella, even when she fell asleep.

Jasper had been the first to leave the room, Alice following after him immediately. His pain, anger, and grief for the girl upstairs becoming too much - too amplified with his family's own feelings. So he fled to unleash all those destructive emotions out into the forest, not wanting to harm anyone in the house.

Rosalie and Emmett were next to leave, retreating up to their bedroom and closing the door with a soft click.

The only one who remained downstairs was Edward. He'd remained in the same position as when he'd heard Bella's screams, standing next to the marble counter until the debris of the destroyed corner littered Esme's clean hardwood floor.

Edward stared at the floor for a long moment, replaying Bella's words over and over again in his mind.

He'd wanted to run away as soon as he caught a whiff of Bella's blood. As little as it had been, he'd been the first one to sense she'd cut her skin with all the scrubbing she'd done.

Edward had tried not to see into Esme's mind while she went to Bella, but when his mother's thoughts became impossible to ignore, it wasn't Bella's blood that made him seethe. It was the small form that sat on the tub, her thin knees drawn up to her chest and her eyes hollow as she told Esme everything.

And when he'd seen into Carlisle's mind, he watched as his parents held Bella close. He'd wanted to go to her. Edward had wanted to hug her and tell her Bella would never be tortured again, nor would she ever have to know fear the way she had.

If he could...

No, he would show Bella that there aren't just monsters that lurk in the darkness, but a life she never knew could exist. Edward would show her love, understanding, and care, so gentle and honest that he hoped that could be enough to help the girl heal someday.

Because she deserved it.

And because he knew, in his dead heart, that this girl already meant more to him than anyone he ever thought could. Edward just hoped she could see it too.

Thank you for reading x

Honestly, writing Lionhearted really takes it out of me emotionally sometimes. I end up crying quite often, it's honestly pathetic lol. But I love Bella and this story so much.

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