I'm sitting at my table, reading about tabletop rpgs I might wanna play, when I get a message. A message from , of all places. Wow, didn't think I'd see anything from here again. I click the message, and it's as straightforward as can be.

"Hey. Where would the story of A Certain Metaphysical Experiment gone?"

Hoo boy, that's actually an interesting question...

I haven't even thought about this story in a long time, so it took a second to regather my thoughts on what my plans were.

There's a part of me that wants to come back and finish it sometime, but another part that knows that's hardly realistic to expect of myself. So I guess I can just cut the mystery and start letting people know what I had planned.

So I guess I'll just start from what already had happened.

To start with, I should let you guys know that making heads or tails of this reflection will be difficult without at least a decent understanding of several works of fiction:

Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne
A Certain Magical Index
Shin Megami Tensei 4: Apocalypse
Medaka Box

So Naoki (I heard from someone that that was the canon name of the Demi-Fiend. Who knows if that's true, but I thought it seemed reasonable enough to use), where to begin with him? My main goal with the entire story was literally the most basic of crossover ideas: "What if, like, the events of this series that I enjoyed happened, but like, this character from another series I also enjoyed was like, also there the whole time?" And while I didn't know much about the lore or worldbuilding of A Certain Magical Index, I had seen the first two seasons so I thought "Well, fuck, that's enough to write a crossover, right?"

I liked SMT at the time (I'm still a fan, but not nearly the SMT fanatic I was back then) and my favorite characters are the Demi-Fiend, Lucifer, and Nanashi (we'll get to why he's relevant), so I figured I'd incorporate that into a crossover.

So the story writes itself from there on out. Naoki is suddenly and unceremoniously thrust into the world of Toaru (after being defeated in a great battle that I shall detail later), coincidentally meeting and hitting it off with the protagonist of our story right at the beginning of Episode 1 of his own series. How convenient.

I literally wrote this series by watching an episode of Index, writing a novelization of the episode (cross-referencing the subbed and dubbed versions and finding a middle ground between the two, both to avoid feeling like plagiarism and because I couldn't decide which one I liked more), reading the corresponding light novel chapters for any extra info the anime cut out, and slapping Naoki into the plot.

Chapter 1: A meeting of the main characters. Literally episode 1 of Index except that the Demi-Fiend drops in. He tries to use Tetrakarn to deflect Mikoto's lightning and, wouldn't you know it, Touma accidentally uses Imagine Breaker to shut off his magic so the blast hits him straight on. This was meant to indicate three things: Naoki's lack of empathy, the power of Imagine Breaker, and that even without magic Naoki is a formidable force. Tetrakarn would have reflected the lightning back at Mikoto, killing her, and Naoki didn't bat an eye. The Imagine Breaker shut off even the magic of the Demi-Fiend, showing that it doesn't matter how strong the magic is, it will be stopped by Touma's hand. And even without the magic shield he had planned to erect, Naoki wasn't killed by the blast of lightning, but simply knocked unconscious, showing that even in pure physical stats and after being weakened by entering this world, Naoki is already on par with the strongest espers.

Chapter 2: Alright, and now Index is here, yay. I threw in some comedy with the gross fridge and Naoki getting his horn stuck but other than that not much. God, reading my author notes is nostalgic. Like, that good kind of cringe, you know? I was a dumb kid, but I can't deny I had heart.

Chapter 3: Author notes providing some info, of course. Answering questions like a good boy. I absolutely still ship Touma and Mikoto, and I fucking misspelled her name in the notes, what a fool I was. Interestingly enough, that note I left about the eyes being yellow. That actually was a completely unplanned mistake on my part. My answer to that comment was me lying to cover my ass and pretend I was, in fact, a good writer. On to the chapter.

So we have the main trio interacting and sharing some exposition. Mostly directly transcribed from the show, but Naoki is there. The bit where Naoki was staring at Index and she was scared was due to the fact that he has inherently become a creature of chaos, so her religious attributes were causing his killing intent to flare up. After he realizes that she's just a scared kid with no real agenda, he calms down. We have a bit more comedy but otherwise it's just the episode happening again.

Chapter 4: Ah look at me being so sad that nobody left comments. Really making it obvious that I'm a new user, aren't I?

So yeah Touma leaves for class, and Naoki has a weird mental breakdown when he starts remembering being human all of a sudden. He chases after Touma, and all in all, not much is accomplished in this chapter.

Chapter 5: Alright here we go. This is the one. This is where it all changed.

First things first, we introduce Lucifer. I went with a decidedly benevolent interpretation of him, though I was open to making him more morally ambiguous as time went on. He explains things to Naoki, and even gives him a magatama, what a nice guy and what a clever writing copout to give Naoki some sped-up character development. He and Naoki have a nice chat about how somehow his humanity is back, Naoki gets a weird-as-fuck vision, then Naoki senses Lawfulness and hippity-hops away. We have a creepy conversation between Lucifer and the Mysterious Figure, and then they disappear.

Fuck this is the one. It was here that I started thinking I should quit this story. I wasn't happy with how I characterized the Demi-Fiend, I wasn't proud of using Lucifer as a cheap plot device, and FUCK am I not happy with the message Lucifer gave Naoki. Let's table that message for now and proceed with the self-review, before I get into what could have been.

Chapters 6 and 7: Basically just the events of Index again. An interesting little interaction at the end showing that the Demi-Fiend inherently doesn't take kindly to Kuroko. This is due to him being a creature of chaos, and sensing automatically that she's a member of law enforcement.

Backstory Time: The stuff that would eventually have been revealed is that the events of SMT Nocturne already happened, as could easily be inferred from Naoki and Lucifer's conversation. However, when the Forces of Chaos knocked on YHVH's door, what answered wasn't the big golden god himself, but a Mysterious Figure, a bit more powerful and far more evil than YHVH ever was. This entity curbstomped the Forces of Chaos, wounding and enslaving Lucifer, and casting Naoki down across the multiverse, banishing him to a backwater universe where he'd provide some entertainment. But not, of course, before restoring his humanity in order to give him some agency. The Mysterious Figure's reason for doing so is because he wants a challenge, and he had all but given up on ever facing another worthy opponent until Naoki came-a-calling. When the Demi-Fiend disappointed him, he figured he'd give him another chance.

As for later events in the series, there's not many I had planned but I'll discuss the few that I did.

The healing ritual where Touma's teacher summons an angel to heal Index's wounds would have gone differently. Naoki would have burst in and interrupted, and the angel, recognizing him as a being of Chaos, would have attacked him. Naoki would defeat the angel, but cause some collateral damage and draw the attention of law enforcement. He would heal index with his own Magatama magic, and restrain himself from engaging the police so that they could safely leave. He would bolt off again, however, when he detects a more powerful source of Lawfulness elsewhere, and that it's making a beeline for Touma.

Touma would meet Kanzaki, and this is the moment I was actually excited for. Kanzaki would hurt Touma and knock him unconscious, as in the series, but that's when Naoki would arrive. We'd get our first fully original fight scene, where Naoki and Kanzaki duke it out as conceptually opposed humans of mass destruction, trashing the city block in the process. Naoki would win this fight, brutally defeating her and almost killing her before she is saved by Index's intervention.

When Touma loses his memories, Naoki would realize this had happened due to being attuned to the chaos and change that would cause within him. He would keep Touma's secret but would also do whatever he could to help him get his memories back.

"She Who Holds All Skills", let's talk about that shit from Chapter 5. At the time when I wrote this fanfic, I was also reading Medaka Box. I was also planning to include Medaka Box in this crossover, setting up a shared multiverse between the three franchises. I was later going to introduce the idea that YHVH of SMT and Ajimu Najimi of Medaka Box were, in fact, similar entities. The same "species" if you will. Lucifer was hoping to have Naoki gain Ajimu as an ally, so that she could help him save the multiverse at the end using her godlike powers, only for that to not fully work and the final battle to instead consist of an actual showdown, with the protagonists of all three series alongside their friends, doing battle against the Mysterious Figure, whose identity would finally be revealed shortly before this battle.

And this is honestly the main thing I was excited for. The big twist that I knew I would likely never get to, but which made me excited to keep going.

Yes, the events of SMT Nocturne happened already, but so did the events of SMT Apocalypse. More specifically, the Massacre ending. The Mysterious Figure, the antagonist of this fanfic, is none other than Nanashi, the protagonist of that game, having overthrown YHVH and replaced him as the mad god of all creation. The strange mark he has on his face is Nanashi's signature scar, and the colors of his powers are Nanashi's signature shade of green mixed with YHVH's gold. (Yes I know Nanashi's scar disappears in the Massacre ending, but I elected to ignore that because it was cool.) I would even incorporate Flynn as his Godslayer, have him be a big threat as well. Maybe he'd kill Ajimu to live up to his title or something.

So yeah they'd fight the bad guy, they'd beat him with the power of Chaos, the Imagine Breaker, Medaka's The End, and, of course, the Power of Friendship.

And that was the plan. Aleister Crowley and Lucifer were gonna have a little chessmaster rivalry that would've led to them being bros, there were gonna be fun hijinks with Naoki wingmanning for Touma with Misaka by becoming Kuroko's archnemesis, Naoki also being compelled to spread chaos in Academy City to spite the law enforcement (especially Kuroko), Touma being the straight man to Medaka and the Demi-Fiend's batshit insanity, having Pixie come back and Naoki realize that if he gave up his humanity for demonhood again he wouldn't be able to love her anymore, et cetera.

I rejected the idea of continuing this fanfic because I thought it was becoming cringey. But who knows, maybe I really had something good going on. And maybe, in time, I could actually have created a masterpiece. As far as a fanfic can become one.

If I ever continue this story, there will always be a risk that I'll drop off again. Permanently this time. So in case I ever do, I want to tell you now what I would tell you then.

Thank you all.

And I'm genuinely serious about that.

You read my work, and some gave feedback while others just enjoyed it silently. And all of you made a young boy, desperate to do something creative and share his love for these nerdy things, smile and feel like he had given the world one more little narrative to enjoy. I hope you enjoyed my unfulfilled ideas, and maybe, even if I don't keep writing, my story can help boost some of your confidence and get you to write your own things. Because hey, it can't be worse than this one, right?

I love you all, and I'd love to hear any further thoughts you guys may have, but don't feel obligated to. Just getting this out there and off my chest already feels great.