A/N: Beta'd by the lovely WendyCR72.

This chapter is eight years too late. I realize most people who added this story to alert don't really care how it ends now. For anyone still reading - thank you. I'm going to do a quick recap below of what's happened so far.

Recap: This is a pre-series fanfic set in 1993. C&M begin an FWB relationship during the towel scene in TOW The Flashbacks. They agree that the relationship is strictly sexual and that there'd be no falling-in-love. But Chandler, unsurprisingly, does fall in love with Monica. He reluctantly breaks things off when she refuses to return the sentiment. When we last left off, he was considering accepting his London job offer in order to overcome his feelings for her.

Here's what happens next:

If It's Love

Chapter 11

Anyone who knew Joey well enough also knew that he did not like keeping secrets. He hated secrets, with a passion - they put too much pressure on him and his relationship with others, while concurrently eating away at his peace of mind.

When he had accidentally walked in on a carnally entwined Chandler and Monica those many, many months ago, they had begged him to keep their... 'whatever-it-was' a secret. He had agreed rather reluctantly, knowing that it would be the proverbial thorn in his side, until they ultimately decided to reveal it to the other two, themselves.

He had impatiently waited for that day to arrive, vocally pleading and silently cheering for Chandler to make his declaration to Monica. The day did arrive after an eternity. But he'd never once thought it would end this way.

What Joey realized now was, watching his two closest friends go through such heart-rending despondence was much more agonizing than it had been to keep their secret.

Chandler was unsurprisingly avoiding the other three, but the longer that this impasse went on, the more questions that Joey had to field from Ross and Phoebe about Chandler's absence, all the while watching Monica struggle to hold back her tears.

And when it came to Monica... he just didn't know how to feel.

Over the past year, Chandler had become the closest friend he'd ever had in his entire life. Joey remembered how hopeful he had looked before leaving for that ill-fated trip to the beach house.

Joey had never been in love. Sure, he cared for his friends and did feel the occasional twinge of something-more-than-lust for some of the women that he slept with, but the look he'd seen on Chandler's face whenever he was around Monica these past few months – that look scared and awed him, all at once.

That was love.

He was absolutely certain he'd seen the same look from Monica too. She would just light up when she was around Chandler. Which is why he didn't understand why she had done what she did. He was mature enough to understand that Monica would have had her reasons, but he didn't have the slightest inkling of what they were.

As the days passed by, Phoebe and Ross asked him more pointed, anxious questions about Chandler. Joey was not a good liar, and he just didn't know how to handle any of that.

The result of all this was, he was now avoiding going to apartment 20, as much as he could. It was hard enough watching a crushed Chandler every day, he didn't want to have to see a broken Monica too.

So when he bumped into Ross at the coffeehouse after not having seen him for three days, Ross sure did have a lot of questions that he wanted answers for.

"Where the hell have you guys been?!" Ross demanded, looking almost angry.

"We've been here," Joey took a sip of his coffee to calm down his nerves. "You know, here and there."

"Joey."

"I had back-to-back auditions, Ross," he shrugged with faux nonchalance.

Ross looked unimpressed. "And Chandler? Did he also have back-to-back auditions?" He stroked his forehead tiredly, sighing. "Is he okay, Joe? I haven't seen him in over a week."

"Uh... He, uh, he- Yeah, yeah," Joey nodded. "He's fine. He's just been swamped at work. I mean, I haven't seen him in days." That much was partially true.

Ross seemed skeptical but accepted it eventually. "Just tell him that he's looking at the business end of an intervention, Joey. I call him at work, but I think he's screening his calls because he never picks up. He's never around when I come over to your place. I don't know what's going on," he shrugged. "But I better see his butt at breakfast sometime soon." He nodded seriously before pausing to think the statement over.

Joey, under normal circumstances, would have laughed.

"I'm worried about him, Joe." Ross sighed again.

He had good reasons to be. "I understand, Ross. I'll talk to him."

As Joey watched Ross leave the coffeehouse, his thought circled back to the other Geller he knew. He had known Monica for almost a year now. In all that time, she had prided herself on being always right, and he had believed her too.

Now, though, he just had a sinking feeling that she was wholly in the wrong.

~.~

She hadn't seen him in twelve days. The minutes, hours, and days stretched and fused into a single, yawning emptiness.

Ross and Phoebe were sat outside at her kitchen, chattering away. But she had never felt so lonely, so bereft.

She splashed cold water onto her face and stared at herself in the mirror. The reflection that stared back at her was gaunt and hollow. Sleep was now as foreign a concept to her as happiness.

"What is going on with Chandler and Joey, anyway?" Ross was asking Phoebe as Monica opened the bathroom door. "I at least saw Joey a couple of days back, but Chandler has been AWOL for almost two weeks now."

"I know!" Phoebe nodded vigorously. "I went to their apartment after dinner last night," she pointed at the door. "You know, to pound on them. But no one was home. What did Joey say when you saw him?"

"He said Chandler was busy with work," Ross scoffed. "Chandler? Busy with work?" he raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Hey, Mon," he greeted when he saw his sister. "Do you know what's going on with the guys?"

"I don't," she lied quietly. It was much easier to lie to her brother than to tell him that she had single-handedly shattered his best friend's heart.

"Okay, but what's going on with you?" he countered.

From the state of her dishevelment and puffy, circled eyes, it wouldn't take a genius to decipher that not all was fine with her, either.

"I think she's just nervous about hosting Steve again this week," Phoebe supplied helpfully before Monica could come up with an answer. "Right, Mon?" she pushed a mug of coffee toward Monica.

"Yeah," she nodded, closing her eyes to come up with another lie. "It has um... It has to go perfectly this time, so I just feel..."

"Nervous?" Ross patted her arm. "Well, don't be. You're going to do great." He stood up and headed to the door. "We're getting the new Scolosaurus specimen today. You know, the one that I was telling you guys about last month. They wanted me to come in early to help set up the display." He held the door open and turned to the girls again. "If you see Chandler... Just ask him what the hell's happening, will you?" He shook his head, looking concerned. "This just isn't like him." He stood looking at apartment 19 for a few seconds before heading out the door with a wave at the girls.

"All right," Phoebe turned to Monica, her tone businesslike. "What happened with you and Chandler?"

"What?" She blinked, her throat constricting.

"Monica," Phoebe sighed impatiently, "I've known you guys for a long time now. I know something's been going on. I haven't seen either of you go on a single date in the last year. You both are giggly and happy and lovey-dovey around each other when you think no one is looking. You go away for one weekend and coincidentally he has a conference too?" She raised an eyebrow. "And then you both come back. Chandler is missing, and you are..." she gestured elaborately at her friend, "Like this." She took a deep breath, her gaze softening. "What happened, Mon?"

The tears rushed before any words did. She buried her face in her hands, letting herself sob. She felt Phoebe's arms around her shaking shoulders a second later. Phoebe, to her credit, just let her cry.

~.~

Once she had collected herself enough to tell Phoebe everything that had happened, Phoebe hadn't had any advice for her. She'd just looked pained. Her only words before she had left were, "You need to talk to him, Monica."

She knew she had to, she wanted to. But the memory of the utterly harrowing despair on his face before he'd left her made her heart clench in her chest painfully, unbearably.

She had put that look there.

There was something else too, though. This past year, he had time and time again made one promise to her – You will always have me. Always. Always.

It was a promise that seemed to hold no meaning any longer because where was his 'always' now? Where was he now?

'I cannot lose you' – she had repeated to him several times that night. She wondered if she was Cassandra of Troy herself, prophesying the demise of their relationship; their friendship that had spanned six years. For she had certainly lost him now.

Yet another day was merging with the night preceding the next. She heard quick footsteps out in the hallway, but they paused for a long moment before she heard his door open and then close.

It was him. Years of knowing him as well as she did, she of course knew his footsteps too. She'd been hearing them every night since she had come back from the beach house. He always paused before entering his apartment, making her vainly hope that he'd waltz into hers like he used to. He never did, though.

Maybe he just needed time. She didn't know, she hoped. She would give him all the time in the world for just a nebulous hope of having him in her life again.

~.~

Love is too big a word for me.

She'd never said she didn't love him. She had said she couldn't. The more Chandler thought about it, the more his stomach turned over, because it meant that she had never considered even the possibility of falling in love with him.

Falling in love with her, though, had been the easiest, most natural thing in the world for him. Now that he was tasked with getting over her, it seemed insurmountable.

How do you get over someone who consumed your every single thought?

The minute he'd set foot in his boss's office, he'd set in motion a cascading chain of events.

The UK branch had gotten back to the New York office within the day. It turned out that the London branch was, indeed, still in dire need of a 'good guy', and he perfectly filled that requirement. The branch wanted him there within the next month and had suggested that the US office help him obtain his work visa through the expedited, priority service.

He bound up the stairs to his apartment, two steps at a time. He had been avoiding everyone other than Joey for nearly two weeks now. The last thing he wanted was to run into Phoebe or Ross on the way to his apartment. When he finally reached his door, he looked at hers and stood still.

For months and months, the door to apartment 20 had been the one that he'd opened first, every time he came home. Even after almost two weeks, he still had to fight the urge to step into her apartment.

When he entered his place, Joey was nowhere to be seen. He heaved a sigh of relief because Joey was not aware of any of his work-related developments. He headed to his room and shut the door behind him before setting his briefcase on the bed.

How do you get over a woman who monopolized your every waking moment, when each and every breath that you took was for her?

He opened his briefcase and pulled his passport out from the zippered compartment. Flipping the booklet open, he quickly found what he was looking for. He stared at the page before running his thumb over the embossed visa.

Distance. That was his answer to the question.

If he had to put thousands and thousands of miles between him and her to get a second's relief from this interminable heartache, then that's what he would do.

Because he didn't know how else to get over Monica Geller.

~.~.~

A/N: You know you've effed up when you have to recap your fanfic. This fic was actually what instigated my writer's block the first time around. I was irrevocably stuck as to how to end it. Now, I do know how it ends. We have just a couple more chapters to go.

I want to say how sorry I am for the way I left this fic. It was unacceptable, and I really, truly apologize. Before I started writing this chapter, I reread all the reviews for this fic, and it's just page upon page of people asking me to finish the damn story.

Thanks to Every. Single. Person who has ever reviewed this story thus far. I certainly was not the most deserving author.