A/N
Hello! I'm finally back! It's been a while. Sorry for leaving you all on the cliffhanger for so long... I hope everyone is doing well, I know things are crazy but everything will be alright. Super long chapter, sorry.
This chapter is going to be a little bit of a different perspective. Hang on to your hats, it's going to get a little interesting. Also, I'm sorry if my descriptions of some of this stuff is a little off. I've never been drunk or done anything like that so all I have to go on is what I've heard from my friends, a little bit of internet research and whatever I've read in fanfiction over the years.
ALSO, THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. Nothing super graphic or anything like that. It will be close to the middle so I will tell you where you can skip if you want and I will let you know when it's over. But please, if you are struggling, reach out for help. If you know someone who is struggling, reach out and offer support. DO NOT try anything mentioned in this chapter at home! And don't drink and drive!
Anyways, enjoy!
I do not own girl meets world, disney, or any characters in this story. I only own a piece of blue ribbon, a vintage ceiling fan and YOUR SOUL MUAHAHAHAHA (Sorry I'm a ginger I had to XD)
Riley
I ran down the street, wiping the tears from my face. I barely noticed as a car pulled up next to me and someone got out, tapping me on the shoulder.
"What?!" I spun around, looking up to find Farkle's startled face staring at me in concern. "Sorry, it's been a long night. Can you take me home?" I managed to get out.
"Yeah, no problem," he said, opening his passenger door for me. The drive was silent but somehow not tense at all, like a breath of fresh air after the stuffy party. Farkle didn't ask me any questions, and for that I was thankful.
He pulled into my driveway. "Are you okay? I'm on my way to a date but I'm more than happy to cancel if you want me to stick around," Farkle offered.
"Hm? Oh, no, I'm fine. Go on your date. Have fun! We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I really just... need to be alone right now."
"Okay, Riley. But please, call me if you need me. You know I'm always here."
"Yeah, thanks." I turned around to go into the house and heard him pulling out and driving away behind me. But I couldn't bring myself to go inside. My parents would ask what was wrong and then pretty soon he would be there and I really, really didn't want to see him ever again.
So I went around to the garage, got in my car and just drove.
I had no idea where I was going, I just drove. And then I came up to a clothing store, the mannequins wearing things that were much more risque than anything I would've worn. Like something Missy Franklin would wear.
Like something that Lucas's girlfriend should wear.
So I parked and went in.
"Hey," the salesgirl smiled a friendly little smile at me. "You look like you don't spend a lot of time in places like this. Looking for something to impress your boyfriend?"
"How about something to make him insanely jealous?" I asked without really thinking about it.
"I can do that." she smiled again. "Tough night?" She went around the counter and looked through some boxes behind it.
"Tell me about it," I smiled humorlessly at that.
She pulled out a black, silky piece of fabric, passing it to me.
"Here, try this on," she said, pointing to what I assumed was a dressing room. I went into the small room and slid out of my green sweater and jeans, sliding the black dress over my head. It was shorter than anything I'd ever worn in my life, so low cut that I almost worried about my breasts falling out and lacy around the hems. There were straps across the back and it was so tight I could barely breathe.
I would never wear this... It's perfect.
I walked out into the store.
"Holy crap," the salesgirl said, giving me a once over.
"Really?" I asked hesitantly.
"Absolutely. You look amazing. I found these for you, too, you can have them on the house," she handed me a pair of black stilettos heels that had to be at least 6 inches and were somehow even strappier than the dress. "If you've got a half hour, I can do your hair and makeup and give that boyfriend of yours something to really be jealous about," she added.
I looked at the time on my phone. 8:30.
"Okay, sure," I smiled, and went into the back room with her.
I came out a half hour and looked in the mirror and I could barely recognize myself. She had put long, black acrylics on my nails and my hair had been curled and pinned and hairspray-ed and pulled back out of my face. My face, which was now covered in a soft, even-toned powdery stuff, some darker powder around my eyes that really brought them out, my eyebrows had been waxed, plucked, and drawn in, my cheeks were tinted pink and my lips were a shade of dark pink that I didn't think lips could possibly be, and yet somehow went perfectly with the black dress and shoes and nails and the little black bow she'd placed in my hair.
"What do you think? I like it," she said, smiling brightly.
"I- I can't believe- is that me?" I asked, stunned.
"Yep, that's you," she grinned.
"How much?" I asked her.
"Normally it would be about $400 for the dress, shoes, nails and the bow. But you look like you've had a rough night so I'll give you all of that and a spritz of my favorite perfume for $65. Sound good?"
"Sounds great, I smiled, going into the dressing room and pulling my credit card out of the pocket of my jeans. I handed her the card and she sprayed me with something that smelled like what I always imagined the woman on the front of that beauty magazine would smell like. Soft and sweet and a little bit floral and a little bit fruity and a whole lot of sexy. I smiled.
"Thank you so much," I called over my shoulder as I walked back over to my car. I drove back to the party.
This is the kind of girl Lucas wants? Fine.
I walked back into the party and immediately all eyes were on me. Especially those of Missy Franklin.
"Looks like the little kitty just got cute," she snarked.
"Looks like the little doggy should stop yapping," I snarled back.
"Oh, look, she's trying so hard. But she can never pull off a look like that. She can never be one of us," she whispered the last part right up in my face.
"Well, what would I have to do to be like you?" I asked.
"Oh, that's too precious. She thinks she could be like me. Well, I suppose a good place to start would be to have a drink. But you would never do something like that, kitty," she smirked confidently.
I turned around and saw a boy staring at me behind me.
"Hey, you, go get me a drink," I ordered him.
"What do you want, pretty baby?" he asked me.
"Don't care. Something with a kick. Thanks." I smiled innocently.
He walked off towards the kitchen.
"Aw, little kitty's getting her milk. Think she can handle it?" Missy's friend laughed in that annoying, prissy way.
The guy came back with a red solo cup and held it out, smiling at me. I took it.
"Vodka, gin and cranberry juice." He waited expectantly.
"Oh, get lost, Dylan" Missy said to him, and he disappeared into the crowd.
I tried to pull out my phone from the dress's one tiny pocket but I struggled to hold onto my drink and stand up in the heels at the same time.
"Here, let me hold that for you, Kitty," Missy said, taking my drink as I pulled out my phone to check the time.
Only to find a barrage of missed texts and calls from Lucas.
Nope. Not dealing with him tonight.
I took the cup back and raised it to my lips.
"Oh, wait! Gotta get a picture of kitty's first moment as a full-fledged cat," Missy smiled, pulling out her phone. "Okay, kitty, drink up!"
I tilted back the cup, taking down the whole nasty concoction in the longest and most painful chug of my life. The vile taste lingered in my mouth for longer than I would've thought possible. The world spun for a moment as I slammed down the cup, wobbling on my impossible shoes for a second. I briefly considered throwing up, but couldn't quite bring myself to do it. Than I felt a little warm and tingly all over.
"Want another one?" Missy asked, although it suddenly sounded like she was talking underwater. Was that buzzing sound always there? And when did my heart start beating so fast?
"Yeah, I do."
Lucas
I sat in Riley's window, waiting for her to come back.
She really should've been back by now.
8:00, nothing.
I sent another text to both her and Zay.
8:30, nothing.
9:00, nothing, 9:30, nothing. I texted and called a few more times. 10:00, nothing.
10:30 I got a notification. I opened it eagerly, hoping it would be Riley or Zay.
It was a snapchat from Missy Franklin.
Ugh, I should just ignore her.
But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything else so I chose not to listen to the tiny little voice in my head that was telling me just to ignore her. So I opened it.
And there was Riley. Or at least, I thought it was Riley. Well, not the Riley I knew at least. She wore a short and low-cut black dress, her hair was curled and tied back and her face was all made up. Holy shit this girl is so sexy. But it's not her. I frowned, watching as Riley-but-not-my-Riley raised a red solo cups to her lips and chugged. She swayed on her feet a bit and for a second it looked like she might throw up. Then the video cut off.
I quickly typed in a response: What did you do to her?!
Her response was just as immediate: Nothing. She showed up here like this about ten minutes ago. Like what you see?
I frowned angrily. No, I don't. And if anything happens to her, I'll never forgive you.
She sent another response and then a video: I told you, I didn't do anything to her. She left, looking like her normal boring bland and stupid self, came back looking like this and asked for a drink. Thats it.
The video showed Missy and Riley, side-by-side, doing shots.
I typed out another response as I grabbed my coat and walked outside and back to my car: Stay there, and stop drinking. I'm coming to pick her up. Don't let her do anything stupid, or I will never speak to you again.
Riley *YOU CAN SKIP HERE!*
I must have been on shot number who-the-f*ck-cares-anymore-cause-I'm-too-drunk-for-this. Missy looked down at her phone for one minute or second or day and then looked up and smiled at me.
"Hey, kitty. Why don't you get out of here. Go get some fresh air, go home. You're not looking too good, get some sleep," she smirked softly softly softly softly softly.
"Oooooookaaaaaayyyyyiiiiieeeee," I giggled, my voice sounded funny. I got up and somehow managed to stumble my way through the front door and to my car. I pushed on the gas and nothing happened.
"Whyyyy no go?!" I cried out, whacking my head against the steering wheel. The whole world turned on its side.
Then I looked down and realized my keys were still in my hand.
Oopsie.
I felt around with the key, fumbling for the ignition until I finally found it, turning the key. I reached for the steering wheel and missed, then reached out again and grabbed onto it. I put the car in reverse and backed out, hitting either a trash can or a mailbox, or maybe it was somebody's cat, and then I swerved onto the street, laughing as I rolled down the window. It was really, really warm in here.
I swerved, narrowly missing a car that was parked on the side of the street. I turned left. Was that light back there red or green? I couldn't tell. Oh, well.
Where was I going? It was getting really warm. And why was my heart beating so fast?
Suddenly the whole world was clear. Every color, every sound, every scent in the air, everything was so crisp and sharp. I watched as a leaf fell from a tree, slowly drifting towards the ground. That had to be the brightest green I have ever seen. The breeze was so soothing against my flushed skin.
I felt so alone, free and alive and so, so alone.
Everyone I've ever loved abandoned me.
Maya dumped me and moved to another state. Lucas didn't even care about me enough to think twice before kissing another girl. My parents didn't really care about me, they were always too busy with work and Auggie and each other to really notice me. Josh left me, Maya left me, Lucas cheated on me. I was invisible. That's what I was.
I saw another set of headlights coming towards me, bright and warm and inviting.
It would be so easy. How simple a task would it have been to swerve into the next lane over? To end it all right there? I could practically taste it in the air. All I had to do was swerve over a couple of inches and I wouldn't have to keep going anymore. I wouldn't have to keep screaming just to be heard. The invisible girl could just disappear. Just like that. It would be that easy. I could be done with it all.
Would I go to heaven? Or on to another life? Or just fade away? Did it ever really matter? Did anything ever really matter?
I gently guided the car into the next lane over, directly in front of the headlights. And then I saw his face.
Farkle.
Shit, this isn't what I want.
Shit!
My head cleared and I swerved hard, the screeching of the tires ringing in my ears, as time slowed down for a beat. I avoided hitting the other car (I'm pretty sure) but my car did slam hard into something. I felt my head slam into the steering wheel as I watched the passenger side door smash in on itself. I sat there for a second, taking a breath as I heard someone pulling up behind me. Or in front of me? It was really hard to tell anymore. The world started spinning and things went dark for a second and then I started pushing on the door to get out of the car.
Farkle
"Riley!" I called as I got out of my car, running towards her car, which was currently smashed up against a telephone pole. Thankfully it looked like the passenger side was hit and not the driver's side. She was taking a long time to get out. Too long.
Just as I got to her car the driver's door swung open.
"Riley! Riley are you okay?!"
She stood up shakily, swayed on her feet for a second, threw up all over me, and slumped over into my arms.
"Flarkle?" She slurred softly. She looked up, makeup on her face, her hair curled. She was wearing a short black dress and heels. There was a bruise beginning to form on the side of her head, though it wasn't bleeding. Somewhere behind all that, I could still see a little glimmer of Riley in her eyes.
"Yeah, Riles, I'm right here. It's okay, you're gonna be okay."
She dissolved into a fit of sobbing in my arms.
"Oh. god-hic!-Farley, what did I juss do? I mean I was gonna h-hic!-hit you, I wanted it all to end. I gabe up. B-but then I- hic!- I saw yoi sittning there- hic!- andn I cloudn't- hic!- go thourough- hic!- with it. You juss s-saved my life, Frakle. hic!"
"Riley, I-"
"I'm so sorry, Farkle. I- hic!- almost killed us both just now," she sobbed hysterically. I wrapped my arms around her for a minute, holding her cold form against me as tight as I could. A car went by and I remembered that we were standing on the sidewalk.
I gently lifted her off of her feet (with a lot more effort than I'd care to admit) and carried (dragged) her back to my car, setting (dropping) her down in the passenger seat before coming back around to the driver's side. She turned pale and started dry-heaving so I handed her a plastic grocery bag out of my glove box. She held it up and hurled, completely missing the bag and puking all over my dash.
"Sorry..." she muttered.
"Riley, what happened?"
"Lukie kiss nother grill. hic! Me bought dress an shoes. hic! Go back to party. hic! Drinky drinky with a snake. hic! Go for a lil' drive, almost hit you. hic! And now her I am. hic!"
"Come on, let's get you home, Riles-"
"No, can't go hom. Mama dada kill me. I'm a real real drunk here, Furple."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Riles. I mean-" I was cut off again when her phone started ringing. She reached for it and fumbled so I grabbed it, reading Lucas' name off the caller ID. There were lots of notifications from him, too. I picked it up.
"Oh, thank god, Riley, I was so worried about you, Missy said that you were drinking and then you left and your car's not here and where are you? I'm going to come get you. Don't drive anywhere else, Riles. Please, I don't want you to get hurt. I never meant to hurt you, Riley, and I'm really, really sorry, and please, I just need to-"
"Lucas, it's Farkle."
"Oh."
There was an awkward, long silence.
"A-are you with Riley?"
"I am. She almost hit my car and now I've got her here. She's really drunk. What happened?"
"I did something stupid. Where are you? I'm coming to pick her up."
"I can take her home. I mean, she says she doesn't want to go home, but I can take her. I can take care of her, Lucas, it's okay."
"No, no. Bring her to my house. It's four doors down on the other side of the street from hers. Please. Her dad is liable to actually kill her if she shows up at her house drunk. My parents are gone for the night so she can crash here. Please, I really need to talk to her."
"Okay. We'll be there in ten minutes." I hung up and started my car, grabbing my own phone to call for a tow for her car.
"My car! hic! Lemme dive ho, Falafel," she slurred out.
"No way. I'm calling a towing company to come get it. Even if you weren't drunk off your ass right now I don't think that car is going anywhere anytime soon," I told her.
"You suck," she declared half-heartedly.
"So they say."
Lucas *You can start reading here if you skipped before*
I stood in the driveway, waiting. I only beat them back by two minutes. How could two minutes last so stinking long?
They finally pulled up. Farkle got out of the car and quickly ran around to the passenger side, opening the door and catching Riley as she stumbled out of the car. I ran over and lifted her up easily, carrying her towards the house.
"Thanks, Farkle," he said softly. "Will you make it home okay?"
"I'm staying. I know you're a decent guy but she's my best friend, and I won't let anything happen to her."
He hesitated for a second.
"...Okay. Okay! You know you can trust me, but if that'll make you feel better, I can respect that. Come on in," I went inside, carrying Riley into my bedroom.
"This isn't you, Riley," I said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"You hurt me," she said.
"I know I did. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. She kissed me! I tried to say no but she wouldn't listen. Girls like that make me sick."
"Isn't that the kind of girl you want?" she asked, so softly I almost didn't hear her.
"What?"
"Isn't that what you're looking for? The fast, flashy girls. The cheerleaders. The ones who will boost your popularity. The two-weekers. Isn't that what you want?"
"What?"
"Isn't this the type of girl that you want?" she stood up, gesturing to her face and hair and dress. I shivered. Damn she's hot.
"Riley, that's not-"
"No, Lucas. This is the kind of girl you're supposed to be with. The short skirts and pretty faces. This is who you should be dating. This is who you belong with."
"Riley-"
"You want me, Lucas? Take me. Right here, right now. If this is what you really want, take me." any trace of slurring in her words was gone, and she pressed herself up against me, looking into my eyes.
I glanced over at Farkle, who stood next to the door.
"Your move, pretty boy. It's up to you. I'm not going to stop you, I want to know what kind of guy you really are."
I looked back at Riley, searching in her eyes.
But it's still not her...
"No, Riley. No. This isn't fair. This isn't you. No." I pushed her back and she landed on my bed, startled. "I love you, Riley. The real you, not this you. The you that makes me laugh. The you that makes me think about things that I never used to think about. The you that doesn't care what other people think. The you that sticks to your principles and refuses to get caught up in all the crazy shit all around you. I love you, Riley. You're the only girl I ever want to kiss again." She stared up at me softly, slowly leaning up towards me.
"Lucas..." she closed her eyes and then threw up on me.
"Farkle, go get some food and water. And maybe some aspirin or something. Kitchen is down the hall to the right. I'm going to try to get her cleaned up."
"Okay. I'll be back. Don't try anything, pretty boy," he smiled a bit, and his tone was lighter now.
"No promises," I joked. He turned out into the hallway.
"Lucas- hic!- I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Riley. Let's get you cleaned up," I smiled softly.
"Lucas. I love you too." she looked deeply into my eyes and I could see my Riley looking up at me again. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let's start with these shoes, shall we?"
"Yes, please. God, they're killing me. Why did someone think it was a good idea to invent shoes like this? I feel like they were designed to be a torture device for women."
"They probably were." I leaned down and gently slid the tall shoes off of her small feet, planting a soft kiss on each foot as I did so.
Farkle came back into the room with an armful of snacks, three glasses of water, a bottle of aspirin and a box of makeup wipes.
"Got your food, water and aspirin. And some makeup wipes."
"Where'd you get those?" I asked.
"My car."
"You have makeup wipes in your car?" I asked him.
"Hey. My two best friends are girls. Of course I have makeup wipes in my car." Of course.
I grinned. "Well, let's get that makeup off your face, then," I took a cloth from the box and gently swiped it across Riley's face, pulling up more powder than I thought was possible from her chin and her forehead and her chin and around her eyes.
"There's my Riley," I smiled down at her. "Think you can get up and make it into the bathroom so we can wash your hair?
"Prolly," she shrugged. I gently grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. She swayed a little bit but didn't fall. I guided her into the bathroom. She sat down hard on the floor.
"Luuuuuucccaaaaassssss," she whined.
I sat on the edge of the shower behind her and she leaned back against my leg as I tried to run my fingers through her hair. It was hardened from hairspray and I kept pulling pins out of her hair and setting them on the counter by the sink. "Jeez, how many pins did you put in here? It's like the freaking bottomless pit up in there."
"Sorry," she smiled softly.
"Okay, I think that's all of them. Lean back under the faucet here and I'll wash your hair for you," I instructed, and she leaned back. I turned on the water and she flinched as it splashed her a bit. "Sorry!"
She grinned, moving her head under the water. I ran my fingers through her hair, smiling as it softened under the warm water. She moved again and splashed all over my puke-covered legs. I laughed. I reached over for my shampoo, running it through her hair and rubbing it into her scalp softly. She hummed softly as I rinsed the suds out, then started combing conditioner into her long, luscious locks. Farkle stood in the doorway, smiling at us as he munched on some of the snacks he'd grabbed. I finally rinsed the conditioner out and turned off the water, running my comb through her hair.
Farkle moved in and handed me a towel. I dried her hair and then slowly sat her up, draping the towel over her shoulders.
"Take some mouthwash. But don't swallow it," I offered her my minty mouthwash. She took a swig and spit it back out, missing the sink entirely and spitting out the blue liquid across my bathroom counter.
"Sorry."
We walked back into the bedroom and she sat on the bed.
"Does she have any other clothes?" I asked Farkle softly.
"The clothes I was wearing earlier are probably in my car," she said.
I carried her back into my room and set her down. I grabbed my big blue sweatshirt off of my chair and handed it to her.
"Do you think that you can change yourself? It might be a little big on you but that might be better. Since I doubt I have any pants that'll fit you."
"Yeah, sure. I might stay in here so if I fall I'll land on the carpet. If that's okay," she said slowly.
"Sure, sure. I'll go change in the closet, then. Farkle, you can borrow some clothes, too. If you want to," I offered.
"Yeah, sure! I mean, my clothes are all...puke-y, anyways, so I might as well. Though I think I'll struggle to find something that fits, too..." he laughed softly.
"Come on, let's go." He followed me into the closet. I gave him a red sweatshirt and the smallest pair of sweat pants I could find, then changed my own clothes.
"Riley, you dressed yet?" I called out.
"Yeah," she responded. I opened the door and stepped outside, sitting next to her on the bed. She hiccupped and giggled, smiling softly. I leaned down and kissed her softly.
"There's my Riley. I missed you." I kissed her again. She shivered.
"Lucas, it's really warm in here. Do you have a fan or something?" she pouted softly.
"What?" I felt her forehead, confused. She was freezing. She shivered again. "Did you say you're cold?"
"No, I'm warm. hic!" she frowned.
"Riley, you're freezing," I told her.
"No I'm not, I'm burning up," she told me.
I grabbed her hands, which were also cold. I could faintly feel her pulse, speeding through her wrists, as her ragged breathing filled the room.
"Riley, are you okay?" I asked softly.
"I'm not... sure..." she slumped forward into me.
"Riley?" no response. "Riley?!" I shook her shoulders, she still wasn't responding.
"Farkle, what do I do?"
A/N
Didn't mean to leave you with another cliffhanger. This chapter was getting long and I need to study cause I have exams coming up. I'll see you all soon!
Strive on and be a Floofy Banana!
^Rikki the Fab One Out!^