The first 'sit' in a long time and it wasn't spoken out of anger; in fact, it was said almost calmly, which almost made it worse.
"I just wish you had a bit more faith in me, that's all," Kagome stated as she remained standing, watching as her husband pried himself up off the ground. A disgruntled growl left him, turning towards her with an apologetic glance hidden beneath his feigned annoyance. He knew Kagome deserved more than what had happened; he shouldn't have hidden the knowledge about Kikyou's arrow. But he didn't want to bring up any old wounds, didn't want to ruin what they'd built the past six months.
Watching Miroku and Sango head home, Kagome remained standing beside her husband in the wasteland of the old battlefield. Root Head had been a nuisance, but Miroku wasn't wrong when he said it had been somewhat nostalgic. It brought back many memories, some good, and others not so much, but each one had built a relationship between them.
"Kagome," Inuyasha's voice brought her from her trance, turning her attention back to him, "We should head home."
With a nod, she climbed onto his back before feeling them bounding off into the direction of their home. Work wasn't necessarily going to happen that day, as the entire night had been disrupted by the root demon that had been released from Kikyo's seal. It wasn't until dawn that the beat had been slain and they were on their way home to their hut secluded in the woods.
Although they'd touched on Inuyasha keeping the knowledge of Kikyo's arrow being found, Kagome still felt a small twinge of betrayal in her chest. Was that ever going to go away? Was Kikyo always going to be looming between them? There was no need for him to keep things like that from her; she'd hoped that she'd proved that to him, but apparently, it seemed there were still things that were unspoken.
Touching down in front of their hut, Kagome made her way to the front door, only to hear Inuyasha's voice stop her, "Kagome," stopping, she turned to face him with a sense of disappointment. Inuyasha could feel it radiating from her and realized he'd made a mistake, "I-"
"It hurts more when you're secretive," she stated blatantly, though keeping her expression bathed in that same subtle disappointment, "That's always why it hurt more."
Inuyasha felt a pang in his gut as if her words had ripped through his flesh and gripped it with her own two hands. With eyes widening, his mouth opened as if he was to counter her, but soon let his mouth close and his eyes soften some, "I thought-" he began, not really knowing how or where to begin trying to explain his thought process.
"Is this always going to be looming over us? I-" Kagome's gaze fell to the ground, fingers playing with the fabric of her hakama, "It's been over three years," she stated, letting her gaze find his as they stood across from one another, "It doesn't hurt anymore, not really. But knowing that you'd still hide it," she shrugged as she held onto her elbows, "It makes me feel like there's something more that you're not telling me, or are afraid to tell me."
"Kagome, it's not-" shaking his head, trying to find the right words to try and convey just where his mind had been, "It's habit," he explained, gaze averted from her own, "I'd always thought that keeping it a secret would make it easier for you, like you could just pretend it wasn't happening," he added, swallowing some before drawing in a deep breath and releasing it.
"What did you do...when you went to see her all of those times?" The ultimate question she'd always wanted a straight answer for and felt he'd always lied like he'd tried to have both women when he could, "Please, be honest with me."
Furrowing his brow, he let his gaze catch her own, shaking his head as if what she'd asked him had a completely obvious answer, "I never lied to you," he explained, tone holding a great offense towards the fact that she would even think he'd lied. "Maybe in the beginning when...she was first- y'know..." he took a step towards her then, "But when I saw you'd been stuck to that tree and she tried to take me to hell, after that, I never lied to you." A few more steps were taken until he was standing barely a foot from her, head craning downward to meet her gaze comfortably, "And, that time," he took her hands, holding both of them in his own, "I saw that you were in trouble and, even though I knew Kikyo was the one doing it, I didn't care. I couldn't see you hurt or in danger," he explained, feeling her returning his hold, "Even when I told you to leave, that you shouldn't stay, I told you the truth as much as it hurt me to."
"So you never-"
"No. Not once after that, not when I went looking for her. I just-" his words held much more conviction within them as he brought one of her hand to his chest, releasing the other so he could wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer, "I'd felt like I needed to make it up to her, somehow. I wanted to make sure that I could put her soul at ease-"
"And you did," Kagome assured, taking her free hand to cup his cheek soothingly, "I guess I'm just a little disappointed that you think I would be upset. I'd resigned to the fact that you'll never forget Kikyo, Inuyasha. I've accepted it - it wouldn't be fair to ask you to forget her." She paused then, releasing a soft breath as she ran her hand back down to his chest.
"But I suppose that's my fault," she added, seeing the complete and utter confusion on his face, "I would get so upset with you because I was always so hurt. I'd always thought, if it came down to it, you'd-" she swallowed then, feeling a pit in her stomach, "You'd choose her over me." Immediately, she regretted saying it out loud - that wasn't fair to him in the least. His and Kikyo's relationship had been so different than theirs, it was unfair to make him choose between two things that didn't have many similarities. Frantically, she began to backpedal in hopes of making it so she didn't put him through such an immense thought process, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I hate thinking that way. You don't have to answer that question-"
"Kagome, don't be stupid. I've always chosen you," Inuyasha interrupted, tone his typical tactless self as he gave her hand a squeeze, thumb brushing over her knuckles. He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world like it was absurd for her to even suggest the opposite, "I always came back and-" he recalled how he'd almost lost Kagome while looking for Kikyo; how she'd gotten into the hands of The Infant while he'd been trying to see if Kikyo had survived, "The one time I'd almost lost you, I promised myself that I wouldn't let you suffer like she did." Leaning his head down, he rested his forehead against her own, "I felt like a failure when I'd found out Naraku had gotten a hold of you, like I'd lost sight of what was truly important."
Closing her eyes, Kagome simply listened to his voice, taking in every word, and understanding it to the best of her abilities. She could feel the pressure of a finger beneath her chin, lifting her head to meet his gaze, "There was also something else," he started, cupping her cheek then, letting his amber gaze look over her features, "Kikyo wanted me to be human," he added, letting their eyes meet once again, "You made it clear that you wanted me as I am."
Kagome smiled softly at that, feeling him place a gentle kiss on her lips as he cradled the back of her head as if to press her closer. Gripping the fabric of his suikan, she let the kiss linger for a few moments before breaking it off just enough for their noses to brush against one another, "I wish you'd have said all of this back then...I wouldn't have said the 's' word so many times," she murmured with a soft grin, "And it would have been easier..."
"What was it you called me?" Inuyasha asked, thinking back to their talk while on their way to the first extermination they'd gone on together.
"Emotionally stunted," she reminded him, only to see a similar grin to her own on his lips.
How had he ever deserved Kagome? It still baffled him, knowing that she'd stuck by him regardless of the number of times he'd hurt her; not physically, not ever, but he knew more than most that mental scars could last a lifetime. Inuyasha could only hope that their time together now, with her as his wife, he could prove to her just how much she meant to him - he had their whole lives to do so.
"Yeah, that's why," he confirmed before feeling Kagome rest her head on his chest, causing Inuyasha to wrap his free arm around her, still not having let go of the hand that he'd had pressed to his chest.
"I guess I didn't make it any easier - even when you told the truth, I thought you were lying and punished you," she added, eyes closing as she took in the warmth of his arms around her, holding her close against him and keeping her so safe a secure, as he always did.
"Keh. Well, I did the same when you and Koga were ever alone," he pointed out, suddenly feeling his wife pull from his chest to look up at him, narrowing her gaze up at him as she began to recall just what he'd implied.
"Oh yeah...I forgot about that. You were jealous, weren't you?"
A signature scoff left him, turning his head to the as he played it as cool as he could, "Like I could ever be jealous of that mangy wolf."
"Mhm, sure," Kagome's tone dripped with sarcasm, causing her husband to glare down at her, "So that one time you asked what happened between us, you were just...curious?"
A flush of red rose to Inuyasha's cheeks, lips pursed as he kept his attention down towards her. His response was hesitant as if he were struggling to get it out, "Yeah."
"Okay, whatever you say," Kagome sang before pulling from him fully except for his hand, "Come on, Inuyasha, I'm ready to try and get a little bit of sleep before the afternoon," gently she tugged him towards the house, opening the sliding door and leading both of them inside.
Sleep didn't come to them, regardless of how hard Kagome tried. Instead, they'd found themselves laying on their futon, Inuyasha's head resting on her chest as she played with his hair and absentmindedly rubbed his ears, "My heart broke that day, y'know." Maybe bringing it back up wasn't the greatest idea, but there were things that still lingered and perhaps would continue to do so for a while to come.
Feeling her husband's ear twitch against her palm, he moved his head so his chin was resting on her collarbone, peering up at her with genuine concern, "What're you talkin' about?"
"When I found you there, with her," Kagome didn't meet his gaze, keeping it upwards towards the ceiling of their home. Their home. Hers and his - no one else's. There was comfort in that sentiment alone.
"Kagome, are you still goin' on about that?" he'd turned more defensive, propping himself up on an elbow to try and look down at her. Yet, when she adjusted her gaze to meet his, all sense of argument seemed to rush from him. Her eyes were serious and somber, making Inuyasha realize that there was still a sense of hurt there - a hurt he was the cause of, "Kagome..." this time it was much more gentle, gaze softening as he remained propped up.
"I knew it wasn't my place to feel that way; we hadn't...spoken about any of that, by that point. Or even made any sort of solid hint to it - I didn't think there was room for me that way. And I knew that you had a history and-" she swallowed then, letting her fingers gently trace over the arm that was still half draped over her waist, "I couldn't imagine how it felt to have her be within your reach when you thought she'd be taken from you forever," she shrugged slightly before Inuyasha felt her hand grip a little tighter on his arm, "But I guess that heartbreak made me realize that I loved you."
"It was...complicated," he mused, shaking his head as he took his arm from her waist to place a hand on her cheek, feeling her small hand wrap around his wrist as she leaned into his touch, "I knew I could never have asked you to stay with me, I knew how much I'd hurt you. You didn't deserve that, for me to be...there but also not. But when you offered, I was too selfish to say no; I knew I needed you in my life one way or another."
Kagome nodded in understanding, letting her thumb brush against the underside of his wrist.
"And yeah, it was painful to have Kikyo so close but so far," he murmured before shaking his head, "But when I realized I may never see you again, when we were in the meido, and the jewel taunted me that you were trapped within it forever," he moved his hand to grasp her own, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to her palm, "I knew that would be somethin' I couldn't come back from..."
Swallowing, he pressed her hand to his own cheek, backing in the warmth of them. They held so much but none more than his own heart; she'd mended it more than any other living soul could, and with all the effortless grace in the world, "Kagome, those three years without you were the hardest years of my life. Forget Naraku, forget growing up as a half-demon..."
There was very large warmth radiating in her chest as he spoke, listening to him talk to her and communicate so well, she couldn't help but fall in love with him even more.
"Being without you for those three years...even though I had Sango, Miroku...everyone...it was unbearable without you."
"Inuyasha..." she breathed, lifting her free hand to join the other on his opposite cheek. Bringing him down to capture his lips in a loving kiss, Inuyasha happily obeyed, kissing her back with every emotion he wasn't capable of putting into words. It lasted for a minute or so, the two of them simply basking in the taste of each other that, at one point, felt like it would have been an impossible circumstance. Kagome cherished each one she got, knowing that she'd earned them by having him give his trust to her.
Breaking the kiss, with the only reason being the need for air, Kagome brushed their noses against one another, "You're getting better with words, y'know..." she breathed against his lips, offering a teasing grin as she saw him turn his head to the side out of embarrassment.
"Yeah, well...you're rubbin' off on me," he murmured, only to feel his wife's lips pressing against his cheek and sink into the feeling completely. Those same lips ghosted up to his ear, brushing against the ridge of his ear. All Inuyasha could do was shiver delightfully, eyes closing as the heat of her breath made it twitch. Gently, he felt coaxed back to rest his head on her chest, happily doing so as he felt his wife return to the aimless touches that she'd been doing before.
"I don't think I'm gonna end up falling asleep," she mused, releasing a heavy sigh that had her husband's head lift along with her chest before dropping down to a more natural place, "I used to be so good at taking naps." That statement has scoff leave her husband, eyes now closed and remaining so as he spoke.
"You still are, woman. Never knew someone could sleep in such unusual places and positions."
"Oh, and you're one to talk!?" Kagome countered, seeing the hint of a cheeky smirk on her husband's face, "Mister 'I prefer to sleep in trees'."
"I never said I preferred it," one eye was open then, looking up at her the best he could, "Just said that trees were a good place to sleep."
"Oh really? Then where do you prefer to sleep?" Kagome asked, though there was still a hint of argument laced within each word. All she got was a shrug from the man on top of her, causing her to roll her eyes before he spoke.
"I dunno. Doesn't really matter, so long as you're there," he stated flippantly, causing Kagome's heart to race just a little bit faster, "You okay, Kagome?" he asked, having heard the increasing speed in her heart before he lifted his head to try and catch her gaze. All he saw was a bright smile and warm eyes staring back at him with a nod.
"I'm more than okay, Inuyasha," she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, "You just do that to me, sometimes."