It was a cold and windy day at Blackwell, but Rachel didn't care. She sat on the wall near the parking lot, her legs swinging over the side. She was supposed to be having her english class right now, but she didn't feel like going.
"Max would be disappointed…" She thought aloud. She chuckled. "Least of my worries right now." She sighed.
Truth be told, she was terrified.
Her life had suddenly gotten a lot scarier, even more so than the last time her life was in danger. Her audition was next week, the horrific week Max described was less than a fortnight away, and there was a crazed kid brother of a sadistic drug dealer after her. She huffed. It would be easier if she were back in the hospital bed, her arm wrapped up and her mind delirious from the anesthetic and the loss of blood; Chloe by her side, holding her hand. She cursed. Everyone was so worried about her, and Merrick's plan to 'draw her out.' No-one else seemed to care that was her fucking mother that Merrick was after. Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw a familiar beanie bobbing along the path, walking towards her. The weather may have been overcast, but enough sun shone through the cracks in the clouds to perfectly shroud the figure. As they walked closer, they waved and called out to Rachel.
"Rachel!" She cried as she quickened her pace.
"Steph!" Rachel replied. "Come join me!"
Steph jogged up to the wall and hoisted herself up to sit next to Rachel. "It's been so long! How are you?"
"I'm alright. Pretty shit, but could be worse. What about you? What brings you back to Blackhell?"
"You're not gonna believe this, but I was feeling nostalgic. "
" For Blackwell?"
Steph chuckled. "It makes sense that I'd run into you. I was just thinking about you."
"Really?" Rachel tilted her head.
Steph blushed and parted her hair behind her ear. "Well, you know, you were one of the few good things at Blackwell, so…"
Rachel giggled. "Ok, sweetheart. Did Chloe tell you the North brothers are back in town?"
"No? That's wild!" Steph's face lit up. "I need to meet up with them first chance I get! Have a tabletop sesh. Get you, Chloe and Max along too. It'd be fun!"
"It's not really my thing… Plus we're like uber busy at the moment." Rachel sighed.
"Busy? Or depressed?" Steph smirked. "Either way, that's totally cool. I can't force you guys to like DnD. Although Chloe had fun the last time we played it."
"When was that?" Rachel asked quizzically.
"Ah, when Mikey was hospitalised. She was reluctant, still going through her 'too cool for school' phase. But she was good."
Rachel nodded. "I'd wish we had the time or energy for a tabletop session. At this point I don't even think Mikey would be up to it."
"What do you mean?"
"You remember why Mikey and I were hospitalised, right?"
"Yeah, some crazy drug dealer went ape-shit on you both." Steph replied.
"You remember Frank Bowers?"
"Yeah of course! I bought weed from him like, all the time. That is until he suddenly jumped ship."
Rachel nodded. "Well, Frank killed that motherfucker. That's why he jumped ship. That and because I asked him too."
"What the fuck?" Steph cried. "Jesus Christ."
"And, with opportune timing, his younger brother is back for revenge." Rachel said. "Bastard beat the shit out of Frank's dog, then stole his account. He's after my mother."
"Holy shit. I'm so sorry." Steph coughed. "For you and Frank." She put a sympathetic hand on Rachel's shoulder. Rachel sighed and leaned her head on Steph's shoulder. "I don't want Chloe and Max to know this, but I'm so fucking scared. My dad is involved now too and I don't wanna have to go back to him."
"This is... a tricky situation."
"Yeah." Rachel chuckled. "You got that right. It doesn't even seem like anybody's even doing anything. My dad's supposed to have a team after him and I'm hearing nothing. Frank's not saying anything, and Chloe and Max are treating me like I'm made of glass. No-one even remotely cares about my own mother!" She stood up and jumped down angrily. Steph remained where she was. Rachel kicked the wall angrily. She saw a bicycle locked up on the rack and made a beeline for it. Steph quickly grabbed her.
"Hey now, the bike didn't do anything." Steph said soothingly.
Rachel whipped around, fuming at Steph. Steph looked scared for a brief moment, so Rachel softened her stance and expression. "Sorry, Steph. I'm just a little ticked off right now."
"A little? Are you kidding?" Steph said softly. "I understand how difficult your situation is. Have you tried like, actually talking to Max and Chloe?"
Rachel looked at Steph. "They won't listen."
"Right, sure." Steph replied. "You should count yourself lucky-"
"Lucky!? I'm being hunted down by a guy who punches dogs!" Rachel screamed.
"No! I mean-" Steph sighed. "You have the two most banging girls in the whole of Arcadia as your girlfriends. Show them some of that Rachel Amber love and honesty, even if you have to put a bit of a dramatic flair on it. You are the star actress of Blackwell after all."
Rachel sniffed. "You're right, Steph. I'm overthinking this too much. I just need to get Chloe a beer and Max a cup of tea or whatever bitch drink she drinks and talk to them."
"Call tea a bitch drink again, and you can add me to the list of people hunting you." Steph smiled.
Rachel chuckled. "And here I thought I was the aristocrat."
"Ooh you have disrespected me for the last time, Amber." Steph said jokingly.
"Shut up, you love me." Rachel smirked.
Steph raised an eyebrow. "You got me there. Now, apart from all this insane bullshit, is there anything else going on in your life?"
Rachel frowned. "Whole lotta insane bullshit. You're narrowing it down too hard." She sighed. "I suppose the most 'normal' issue I have at this point is being worried about my audition."
"Pssh, Keaton will take you. He always does."
"Oh yeah for sure. But that's not the audition I'm worried about. It's for a main role in this ad campaign on date-rape, focusing on how to look out for each other and shit."
"Well fuck." Steph replied. "That's some intense shit."
"Yeah. I'm hoping it goes well. Kinda wish they weren't more for the 'hey shitheads, don't drug and rape women' angle, but I guess it's important for people to know how to look out for each other."
"You think the Blackwell Bros will respond well to that?"
"Oh they'll object regardless. I swear every time I see Logan he's hitting on me or some other new girl. Poor Dana."
"Dana's still with that guy?" Steph asked quizzically.
"Not anymore." Rachel shrugged. "It was on and off for a while. Now the word on the street is he banged her up without protection and bailed."
"Jesus. Glad I left this shithole."
"Some of us aren't so lucky." Rachel rolled her eyes.
"You know, you could run away if you could."
"Believe me, I've tried."
"Well, you were 16. You could try again."
"Where would I go, Steph?" Rachel asked. "There's one insidious thing about this town. Everything I love is here, but so is everything I hate."
"There's so much more to love in this world, Rach."
"Answer me honestly, Steph. Are you only telling me to run away because you didn't have that opportunity?"
Steph looked down and said nothing.
"I wouldn't blame you." Rachel continued. "Mikey and Drew got away, and they were among the people you most cared about. It's not fair." Rachel sighed. "I'm just worried if I run away, one of two things will happen: I'll make it big in Hollywood and forget Arcadia Bay even existed, or I'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere where no-one will ever find my body."
"Jesus Christ, Rachel." Steph breathed. "That's awfully dark."
Rachel shuddered. She couldn't tell Steph that that fear had actually been realised already, in some strange timeline her girlfriend had escaped from. If that had come to fruition in this reality, Rachel would have been dead for over 5 months. Looking at her situation now, from her perspective, fate didn't seem to like being foiled. "Sorry. I should head to my next class. It was really nice talking to you, though!" Rachel smiled.
Steph smiled back. "Yeah. Glad I could catch up. I'll give Mikey a ring tonight. Stay safe, babe. I'll see you later." Steph jumped down and walked off.
"See ya." Rachel shouted, then shivered. "Alright. I'll head inside." She scowled at the sky, cursing the cold weather. The campus was eerily quiet. With the cold wind and the hint of rain, she suspected no-one would want to be outside. Still, the emptiness bothered her. No-one was sitting on the fountain, contemplating life. Samantha was not at the base of a tree, her nose in a book. Evan was not sitting at a table, sorting his portfolio. For the first time since she ran away with Chloe, Rachel felt free from the school's bounds. Back then she felt happy and rebellious, now she felt like no-one cared. She existed outside of time and space. An anomaly.
"I'm not meant to be alive…" She breathed out loud. She stopped at the base of the stairs just outside the school building and looked up. Blackwell seemed huge from this angle. Rachel had never stopped to appreciate it before. She shook her head. She walked inside and made a beeline for the bathroom. "Cool. No-one's in here." She said out loud. "Now no-one can see me have my meltdown." She wished she had Chloe's oversized black marker so she could tag the bathroom. Some of Chloe's handiwork was still strewn around the bathroom. Badly-aged illuminati symbols and crazy teenage angst. Rachel smirked when she saw a quote that looked a lot newer than the rest:
"Be a dyke. It's easier."
"Is it, though?" Rachel sighed. She knew her situation was more complicated than simple love life issues, and that this small tag, which Rachel was sure Chloe had made, wasn't accounting for that. Rachel turned on the sink and splashed her face with cold water. "Woo." She breathed. She heard the door open and tensed.
"Oh. Hey. Sorry. I was hoping no-one was in here." Taylor Christensen said.
"That's okay." Rachel smiled. "I was just on my way out."
"No, actually, it's probably good that you're here." Taylor sighed.
"What so you can practice your pathetic giggling on me before Victoria shows up to berate me?"
"Jesus Christ, Rachel! No!" Taylor said, shocked. "Look, I don't like the way Victoria treats you. She's not even here anyway, so let's just drop it. I want some humanity from us just this once."
"She's not at Blackwell? Where is she?"
Taylor sighed. "She's at the hospital. Nathan had a pretty major meltdown, so she's there looking after him."
"Jesus. I didn't know."
"You see, Rachel? Victoria actually has a heart. No-one else seems to care about Nathan. It's good that he has her."
Rachel turned back to the sink. She could feel bits of her mascara running. "Shit." She mumbled. She quickly dried her face. "Sorry. You do remember that Victoria tried to drug me the night of the Tempest, right?"
"That was three years ago! Are you seriously still hung up on that?" Taylor cried.
"No it's-" Rachel sighed. "It's a lot of things. I can't really explain."
Taylor looked sad for a moment. "Listen, I know the things Victoria is capable of. She's not evil, she's just jealous."
Rachel shrugged. She didn't have the energy to respond.
"Anyway. Let's drop it. Are you alright? You look like how I feel, except with better makeup."
Rachel chuckled. "There's just… a lot going on. Can't really explain."
"Yeah, I feel that."
"You have no idea." Rachel thought to herself.
Taylor looked at her and pursed her lips. "Yesterday was just… such a weird day. I've never been away from Victoria for this long. Which is kinda sad, but it's put a lot of things into perspective."
"Like what?"
"Like how you and Max are in deep shit?"
Rachel's eyes widened. "You know about that?"
"Everything." Taylor nodded. "It's part of why I feel so weird. Max didn't tell me intentionally, I just overhead. By accident." She said hurriedly. "Typical Max. Tries to cheer me up because she saw I felt like shit and then pulled a full 180 on me. One she couldn't rewind."
"Rewind?" Rachel asked rhetorically. "Shit. You must have heard everything."
"Including the part where Victoria and I almost bullied Kate Marsh to suicide, yes. I'll tell you that wasn't particularly easy to hear."
"So you know about Jefferson? And Nathan?"
"Yes. It's why I'm glad Nathan is in a psych ward. Poor Victoria. She walked in on him with a gun and-"
"A GUN!?" Rachel cried.
"Yeah. If Victoria didn't come in two seconds later Nathan would have been dead." Taylor sighed. "The point is, if I was trying to make a point, there's so much going on in Arcadia Bay that no-one knows about. Or stops to even think about. How many people look at Joyce from the Two Whales Diner and remember what she went through? How many people look at the homeless woman who lives next to the diner and think about how she probably got screwed over? How many people see a cranky old trucker and think about how he has to get all the way across the country by the end of the week? How many people look at me and think about the girl who lost her boyfriend while he was on duty for the fire department, and whose mom needs life-saving surgery?" She looked Rachel dead in the eyes. "How many people see Rachel Amber and not think she's Little Miss Perfect, a girl who can do anything she wants and has anything at her disposal, handed to her on a silver plate? No-one would ever guess she's currently hiding from a murderous drug dealer and is dating a girl with time powers."
"How many people look at Mark Jefferson and realise how much of a creepy, psychopathic pedophile he is?" Rachel added.
"Uh, no-one, apparently." Taylor scoffed. "Did you guess? I sure didn't. He's just so handsome and charming, and he was such a good teacher. Now I can't bear to look at the guy."
"Just be glad you weren't there." Rachel sighed. "Poor Max…"
"Wait, did she-"
Rachel nodded. "Max is the only reason I'm still alive." She sniffed.
"Holy crap. She didn't mention that. She was only talking about Kate. Mostly because she was talking to Kate, but yeah."
"God, Kate…" Rachel sighed. "Max brought herself back here from hell. She's ensuring that no-one ever gets hurt again."
"So wait, you said Max saved your life?"
"I was originally a missing person's poster. Dated back from 5 months ago. Max said she and Chloe found me, buried in the junkyard after being overdosed by Nathan."
"Holy shit." Taylor breathed.
"This is a bit of an intense conversation, isn't it?" Rachel laughed.
"Well, we are in a bathroom."
"The bathroom. It always starts in a bathroom." Rachel sighed. "I'd better get to class. It was nice talking to you, Taylor. I hope everything goes well for your mom."
"Me too. I hope everything goes well for you, too." Taylor turned around, then stopped. She walked back up to Rachel and hugged her.
"Woah! Okay. Was not expecting that." Rachel said, but slowly returned the hug.
"Stay safe." Taylor said simply. She let go, then turned around and left the bathroom.
That afternoon, when Rachel got back to the apartment, she still felt conflicted. Max's photography class stretched late into the afternoon and Chloe was still at work, so she took the bus home by herself. She walked into the apartment and sighed. The place was a mess.
"It's like the whole world is against me today. Everything is crashing down around me." Rachel badly wanted a cup of tea, but she didn't feel like making it. She mustered the energy to walk to her bedroom and collapse on her bed.
Some time later, she heard the front door open, and the cheery laughs of her girlfriends echoed through the apartment.
"Rachel?" Chloe asked. Rachel gave no response. She heard a knock on the bedroom door. "Rachel, you in there?"
Rachel moaned.
"Oh christ." Chloe muttered. She opened the door and walked in. "You okay?"
"No. Not really. I don't wanna talk right now." Rachel said. She turned her body so she was facing the opposite wall.
"That's okay. Get some rest. Max and I are gonna make a pot roast tonight. We'll let you know when it's ready."
Rachel sniffed. "Thanks Chloe."
Chloe closed the door.
Rachel sobbed. "This sucks. I hate my life." She curled up into the fetal position and hugged her knees. After a day's worth of tears, she fell asleep.
When Rachel awoke, the room was dark, but there was a familiar glow on the ceiling. Rachel rolled over and looked up.
"Wow… Chloe…" She breathed.
The ceiling was lit up with a million stars, a blue and purple nebula. Rachel sat up and saw the large, high-powered torch resting on a chair at the end of the bed.
"CHLOE!" Rachel yelled.
Chloe came running into the bedroom. "What is it? What's wrong."
Rachel scowled. "You mad bitch! You kept this for three years?"
"Well, yeah." Chloe shrugged. "I figured I might need it someday. It just makes sense."
Rachel started crying. "Chloe I-" She sniffed. "Thank you. This is really beautiful."
Chloe shut the door. "Good. I'm glad. You seemed upset and I figured I'd cheer you up."
Rachel motioned Chloe to sit next to her. "Do you remember three years ago? When you were in my room? When you first made this?"
"Of course. How could I forget?"
"I've never forgotten. It was the most beautiful thing ever. Never in my life had someone paid so much attention to me to know exactly what to do."
"I'll admit, it was a lot of trial and error."
"Chloe, my love. You knew that I loved the stars. So you figured out a way to make them shine in my bedroom. And it was beautiful."
"It's cause I loved you, idiot. And I love you now."
"Don't be so off-handed. You mean the absolute world to me, and I'm so glad to have you in my life. I'm so glad that we can exist in this moment, the stars shining above us."
Chloe leaned in and kissed Rachel on the cheek. She climbed onto the bed and grasped Rachel's hand. "Things have been pretty tough lately. I know why you're upset. We're not paying enough attention to you, you feel like we're not listening to you cause we're too busy coddling you. I know you are capable of looking after yourself. You've hella saved my life more times than I can count. And everything that's going on is simply not fair. I'm sorry."
"Chloe…" Rachel sobbed.
Chloe rubbed Rachel's hand with her thumb. "Shh… It's okay. I'm here now." She whispered softly.
Rachel sniffed. "Where's Max?"
"She's in the living room, practising the guitar. Do you want me to get her?"
"No, please stay. Just message her."
Chloe nodded. "Of course." Chloe quickly tapped a message on her cellphone and waited. A minute later, Max walked in, guitar still in hand.
"Hey Rachel." Max said quietly.
"Max." Rachel smiled sweetly.
"Come join us. We're gonna have a hardcore threesome to cheer Rachel up." Chloe smirked.
"Shut up!" Rachel giggled and slapped her with a pillow.
"Oh now you asked for it!" Chloe cried as she grabbed the other pillow and proceeded to smack Rachel so hard she almost fell off the bed.
Max giggled. "You two are priceless. No pun intended."
"Come on, hippie!" Chloe laughed.
"Alright. You asked for it." Max giggled. She carefully placed the guitar against the wall and dived onto the bed. Instead of reaching for a pillow, she aimed straight for Chloe and Rachel's face and planted several kisses on each of them. Satisfied, she sat back and admired her handiwork.
"No fair, Caulfield!" Chloe giggled. Her face flushed bright red as she lay down on the bed. "You genuinely caught me off guard with that one."
"Me too." Rachel breathed.
"My sneak attack. The power of sappho." Max laughed.
"Welp, now you ruined it by being a nerd." Chloe sighed.
Max giggled. "Is that not why you're dating me, miss 'nerds are hot'?"
"I never once said that, excuse you." Chloe cried. "I mean, it's true. Look at you two for instance." Chloe got off the bed and stood up.
"I'm not a nerd!" Rachel cried in shock.
"You're a theatre kid. That's much worse."
"Screw you!"
"I'd love that, but unfortunately I have to check on the roast. Save the sexy times for later."
"Looking forward to it." Max said dryly.
Chloe winked as she left.
Max's voice suddenly turned serious. "So. Are you alright? Chloe said you had something on your mind." She crawled behind Rachel and wrapped her legs around either side of Rachel's body.
Rachel felt a shiver run up her spine. She slowly slid downwards and rested her head in Max's lap. "Shit just happened today. I ran into Steph."
"Oh cool! How is she?"
"Contemplative. She was tryna be helpful, but you know how I get when I'm in a shitty mood." Rachel sighed. "I told her about what was going on, and she was cool. She was mostly just worried about me, as everyone else is."
"Well, of course we're worried." Max said, absent-mindedly playing with Rachel's hair.
"Well, that's exactly my problem. You guys worry too much about me, when right now I'm not being the same one directly targeted. I haven't heard anything from Frank or my dad. At this point I don't even know if my mother is still alive."
"Shit, Rachel. I'm sorry."
Rachel shivered. "Thank you. I just, she's very important to me. And for the life of me I cannot figure out why people just don't seem to care. God I haven't seen her in about 3 years. I just want to see her again."
Max stroked Rachel's face. "I know. We will. Chloe still has Frank's contact details, right? We can talk to him. He'll listen to you."
Rachel nodded. She took a deep, shaky breath. "I also ran into Taylor. In the school bathroom, of all places."
"Uh huh…"
"She said she knew everything. It was weird. For once she just seemed… human. She told me Victoria is looking after Nathan at the hospital."
"Shit. Hope he's alright."
"I won't go into details. I hope so too. It was just… Taylor was so nice and understanding."
"She can be. I've seen it."
"She told me the shit she was going through, and I told her the shit I was going through, then she hugged me and told me to stay safe. Odd therapy session in the Blackwell girl's bathroom."
"Believe me, stranger things have happened in that bathroom."
"As you well know."
"Don't remind me." Max shuddered. "Anyway." Max leant down and kissed Rachel's forehead. "Dinner's ready." Max got off the bed and stood up. "Chloe's done such a mean job of this roast."
Rachel breathed in deeply. "It smells amazing."
"Afterwards, Chloe and I are gonna play some video games. If you wanna join."
"Since when am I dating gamers? I want out." Rachel said jokingly.
"You Will Play Ratchet And Clank And You Will Enjoy It." Max smiled and winked. "Come on, sweetheart." Max grabbed Rachel's hand and led her out of the bedroom.
"There you are!" Chloe beamed. "I've just set the table."
"I'll quickly whip up some gravy." Max said. She kissed Rachel's cheek and walked into the kitchen. Rachel smiled and sat down at the table.
"You feeling better?" Chloe asked as she sat down next to Rachel.
"Yeah." Rachel nodded. "Just, good vibes from now."
"What happened happened. We don't have to pretend it didn't. For the record, I'm sorry. As someone who's actually met Sera and seen her for who she truly was, I'm sorry. She's absolutely a good person, and it's not fair for us to have dismissed her like that. I hope we get to see her soon." Chloe took Rachel's hand and squeezed it. "Now, let's eat. We have a game to speedrun."
"Oh my God! And you called me a nerd."
"What? Ratchet and Clank is a cult CLASSIC. Max and I loved that game when we were kids. A little revisit won't hurt, and it's about time we got you into it."
"Alright! I'll give it a shot. Just for you two. Right now, I'm fucking starving."
After dinner, Chloe immediately made a beeline for the TV to set up the game as Max cleaned up. Rachel lounged on the couch, taking it all in. Once Chloe had the game set up, she gave Rachel a controller.
"Jesus, okay." Rachel sighed.
Chloe sat next to Rachel. "I'll help you." She wrapped her arm around Rachel and held Rachel's hands, guiding them to the various buttons. "Just like this. You'll get it."
"You're a natural, Rach." Max walked in with bowls of ice-cream. She kissed Rachel's head as she walked past, placing the bowls on the coffee table.
Rachel laughed and kissed her girlfriends. "Thank you. I love you both so much."