(A/N): I am not promising quick updates all the time. But I am trying this thing where I do so many minutes of work (uni) then take a break to do writing for this, then go back to so many minutes of work. So I have actually managed to get a few words down and thought I would share them before I overthought about it all and decided never to put this out there. I think I stopped writing for so long I lost my confidence in what I was writing being any good. Maybe this will increase that confidence, maybe it won't. Either way, I won't know unless I try, will I? Still, I hope you enjoy it.

What the Heart Wants

Chapter 12

Rachel sighed as she placed her head in her hands, breathing deeply. The phone call she'd just received had been so unexpected it had taken her breath away, leaving her floundering. What on earth was she meant to do? Rubbing at her face with her hands, uncaring if it smudged her makeup, she turned to her computer, shooting off a few quick emails before returning her attention to her phone. She had to make a call she really didn't want to, and then she had to go find her daughter. There was no time to waste. Dialling quickly, she pressed her phone to her ear and prayed she would hold it together through the conversation as the other end picked up.

"Jack, its me."

"… I've heard. Collins told us." She'd never heard Jack so close to crying before and it prompted tears to make an appearance in her own eyes even if the teenager couldn't see her. Why life seemed out to get her and those she considered family, she had no idea. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm both of them, she pasted on a calm front, hoping looking the part would convince her emotions.

"I'm sorry Jack. As soon as I know more, I'll tell you. Wait. You said 'us'."

"Yeah, he text me and Li."

Rachel swore under her breath colourfully. This was getting worse. "Okay I have to go Jack. I need to find Ali."

"Go, find her Rach. She's not going to take it well."

"I'll see you soon Jack." Rachel hung up and stood, ready to put her phone in her blazer jacket when it rang again, this time for the generic Waterloo Road phone number, the one that showed up from any of the wired school phones on site. Who would call her from one of the landline numbers? Slowly, she pressed the green button and held it up to her ear, nearly falling over from the shock as the person the other end spoke.

"Hi, it's Eddie Lawson, Waterloo Road. I'm calling about your child, Alia Falan."

"…Eddie?!" Rachel knew she sounded shellshocked but she wasn't the only one.

"…Rachel?!" Eddie sounded just as surprised as her, she noted almost absently. She was far more focused on why she was being called over her daughter.

"Where are you?" Rachel asked, ignoring the question in his voice.

"First Aid Bay. Rach what's going on?"

Rachel ignored him, hanging up and putting the phone in her pocket before hightailing it from the room, barely remembering to shut her office door behind her. Alia was in the medical room. She needed to get there fast. The back stairs were quickest.

…

Eddie stared at the phone in shock, the dial tone nearly echoing in the small room. Rachel. He'd called Rachel. But then that would mean it was her number on Alia Falan's emergency contact form. Why was she on Alia's contact form? But then wasn't Rachel also on Philip's contact form? He was sure Mel had told him she was. Rachel hadn't told him. But then she hadn't told him much of anything this school year. Not after the first day back anyway. Then again, why would her number but not her name be on Alia's form? For some reason, Michael calling her Ali kept popping into his head, along with Rachel talking to Philip a couple of weeks earlier.

Before he could ponder any further however, a small noise had him turning to find Alia stirring slightly, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the bright fluorescent lights in the small room.

"Wh-what?" She managed as she tried to sit up shakily, flinching as Eddie rushed over to help her.

"You need to stay still. You passed out. I've called your emergency contact." Eddie explained gently, his brow furrowed when her expression became one of panic that he'd called her emergency contact. Why would she not want him to call her contact? Especially with it turning out to be Rachel. There was something in that expression, he knew.

Speaking of the devil, the door pushed open to reveal an out of breath headmistress who practically ran into the room, placing her hands on Alia's shoulders and practically ignoring her deputy completely.

"What happened?" She demanded, though her tone remained surprisingly gentle. Alia managed a half shrug, still looking mostly out of it.

"I don't know. I can't remember. I was in maths class and next I know I woke up here, with him." She jerked her thumb towards a confused Eddie. Rachel turned to face him, her hands still holding Alia up by the shoulders.

"Eddie, what happened?"

"She showed up late for class and wasn't paying attention to my lesson. Then she was blatantly on her phone in front of the whole class. I sent her out and followed her to talk to her, then I had to catch her because she passed out on me. I carried her here and called her emergency contact. Why are you her emergency contact Rachel?"

"She was on her phone?" Rachel checked, ignoring his question. "Shit." Eddie blinked in shock at her swearing, especially in front of a student. She turned back to Alia, lifting her chin gently. "Ali, love, he's going to be okay." She promised as the tears welled in her eyes once more, mirrored in her daughter's.

"You don't know that," Alia barely whispered as a few tears overflowed and slipped down her cheeks.

"Oh love." Rachel wrapped her arms around her little girl and held her close, burying her face in Alia's hair as she snuggled closer into her mum's embrace. "It's not like it was before. He'll be okay." They stayed embraced until Rachel could no longer feel Alia's tears wetting her shirt. Slowly, she pulled back and wiped the remnants of tears from her daughter's face, ignoring the ones she knew were on her own face.

"Can we see him?" She whispered, looking much younger than fifteen as she directed big eyes to Rachel, who finally sat down next to her on the medical bed.

"He's being shipped over here for treatment, but it will be a couple of days at least before you can see him. I promise as soon as possible, I will drive you and Jack to go see him for yourselves, okay?" Alia nodded, still looking lost. "But first we need to get you to a doctor. You shouldn't be passing out like that for no reason."

"…It's the shock." Alia finally spoke up in a tiny voice. "It's happened before. With… well, before. I was in school then, too. They sent me for a bunch of tests. Turns out the shock makes me shut down, literally. It doesn't happen often."

Rachel eyed her suspiciously but eventually nodded. "Okay, but I will be checking this with your doctor." Alia nodded again.

"Okay, what the bloody hell is going on here?"

Both women jumped as they were reminded that they weren't alone in the room and now they had one very confused and concerned deputy head to deal with.

"Eddie-" Rachel started, trying to think up something plausible, but was cut off unexpectedly.

"Rach, just tell him," Alia said tiredly. "He's not going to be fobbed off on this."

Rachel sighed, pulling Alia close once more but directing her gaze to Eddie. "Fine. Help me get her to my office first?"

…

Rachel fidgeted slightly with her blazer, trying to ignore Eddie's eyes boring holes in her. He'd managed to find last minute cover for his classes, so he wouldn't be missed by the pupils who's class he had that day. Alia was napping on the couch in her office, so they couldn't be too loud, but Rachel knew she was right. When it came to students, especially the safeguarding of them, Eddie took it very seriously and would not accept being fobbed off. It was that determination and care that had further endeared him to her from the start, even when they'd been at each other's throats those first few months. But how was she supposed to hand over this piece of her when he'd already hurt her with the pieces he currently held? She wouldn't just be giving him the power to hurt her further, but the ability to hurt her daughter too. How was she supposed to do that? She knew she still trusted him, sort of, but it was a shaky trust that she knew had been damaged with everything that had happened since the fire.

"Rach. Talk to me."

She blinked as his voice dragged her from her thoughts, directing her gaze to Eddie's, so concerned for her and Alia. "I, uh, I don't know how to say it."

"It'll be okay, you know that, right?"

Rachel half shrugged, her eyes wandering to her slumbering daughter. "She passed out because she found out her godfather has been seriously injured on deployment. That was why she was staring at her phone in class."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I got the phone call ten minutes before you called me. I was about to find her and tell her myself but Jack told me someone else had already text him and Alia to tell them."

Eddie found himself irrationally jealous at the mention of another man's name and the casual way Rachel inserted it into conversation. Who was this guy? But it wasn't about him and he knew it wasn't the whole story. "Why was your number on her contact form?"

"I am her emergency contact." Rachel dropped eye contact again, wrapping her arms around herself. How was he going to react? "I'm her mother. Alia is my daughter."

Silence.

After a few moments, Rachel forced herself to lift her head enough to meet Eddie's disbelieving gaze as he whipped his head between her and the sleeping teenager like an intense tennis match. "No, no, you don't have a kid Rach."

"Yes, I do." She was surprised her voice was as strong as it was as she stared at Eddie. She had to tell him. She just hoped he wouldn't run to Melissa immediately, that the trust she still had in him wouldn't come back to bite her, and by extension, her daughter. "I fell pregnant a few months after I got back into education, finishing up my a-levels. Obviously, I'd not really gotten a chance to before. Her dad knew me, knew my past, and we were in love. We decided to keep her and my grandfather agreed to support us. She was born Alia Rosemary Falan. My grandmother was called Rosemary. I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her." Rachel knew she was rambling but found she couldn't stop as the words practically tumbled over one another in their attempt to be said aloud. "We were happy, a family. For a few years. Things fell apart between me and her dad, what with his job and my uni work and job, and we decided it was best for her if she lived with him, and I would visit when I could."

"What happened?" Eddie found himself invested in the story, his heart reaching out for the woman he deep down still loved, who looked so sad and lost, her arms still wrapped around her waist.

"When Ali was twelve, her dad died whilst on a stretch overseas. She was in school when she found out, that's all I know. She doesn't talk about it. I was called to come and get her, so I did. I brought her home with me and she's lived with me ever since. I can't say it's been easy, but I love her, so it's all worth it." Rachel let out a long breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. "That's why I'm on her contact form. I'm all she has left. Me and her godfather, who is currently critically injured and on his way back here to be treated before being discharged. It all was too much like her dad and I think she just shut down. I'm sure Jack will be able to help her."

"Jack?"

"Jack is Alia's best friend, has been since they were seven. He's at my place for a bit. Both of them are close to Sam, but he's Ali's godfather. I know the kids will be there for each other."

"And what about you?"

"Hmm?"

"Who's there for you, Rachel?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine. It's Ali I'm worried about. Plus, she looks after me too. She doesn't know I know, but I know I'm the reason she's come back to school." Rachel bit her lip before revealing just why she needed support at school. Eddie didn't need to know that part, not after everything that had happened between them. Her arms tightened around her waist almost subconsciously as she stood from her seat at the round table and moved over to Alia, kneeling beside the teenager and pushing a stray lock of hair from her face.

Eddie sat at the table, his mouth open in shock as his brain tried to comprehend everything he'd just been told. Now he looked closely, he could see the resemblance between Rachel and Alia, and much more of Alia's mannerisms and attitudes made more sense when he considered how Rachel would be under the same situations. Including the shutting him out part when hurt that he'd had from the teenager for the day and her mother for weeks now. Rachel's personality was also beginning to make a little more sense to him as well, especially the overly caring, mothering side of her she'd shown from day one, when a vodka full Mika Grainger had thrown up on her. Any other headteacher would have had her excluded and in detention for at least a month, not allowed to lay down in the head's office to sleep it off, with the headteacher's cardigan as a pillow. It made much more sense now that she'd automatically look after any child as she would her own.

He knew that there were still things that didn't make sense, though the most obvious questions he'd had had been answered during Rachel's story, such as why Alia's father wasn't in the picture, and who Jack was, plus how defensive Rachel was of the teen. But then why the secrecy around Alia? Why had she only started school the other week, despite having lived with Rachel for three years? Why had Melissa never mentioned anything about her sister having a child, her own niece? Why hadn't Philip mentioned something? The boy couldn't keep secrets to save his life. Did Melissa's mother know about her other grandchild? What about Rachel's dad? Eddie had to admit, he didn't know where Fiona was, and didn't really care so long as he wasn't there to hear the vile words she came out with. But he was sure that Rachel having a daughter would have been brought up in conversation before now, even if just to get a rise out of her, if Fiona knew.

"Who else knows about her?" Eddie asked quietly, his eyes never leaving the two females at the couch. Rachel glanced up slightly, still looking rather defensive.

"I do, Jack does, Sam does. Uh, Philip does and my dad does. Oh, her aunt, Gabrielle, does as well, but she's rarely around."

"What about Mel? Or Fiona?" Eddie asked, spotting the flinches she made at the mention of both names and filing it away to think about later. Right now he needed to focus on the conversation.

Rachel sighed, her arms once more tightly round her waist, trying in vain to comfort herself. "I went home once, when Alia was about five. I had a new name, career, life for myself and my family, even if I'd already split from her dad. I went to try and make amends. Mel also had a five year old, Phil. Anyway, it's a long story but Mel and Fiona refused to accept she was real, and then refused to accept I'd named her Alia, calling her Alison for some reason I still don't know. My dad… my dad actually apologised for my childhood and asked if I would give him a chance to be there for me and my baby girl. I walked out of there determined to never speak to my mother or sister again but that I would give my dad a second chance." Rachel mentally sieved through what she'd said, ultimately satisfied that there was no mention of Mel's bigamy, or Fiona's adultery, or Mollie in there.

"Then how are you and Mel…?"

"When Phil was eight, Mel had what we ended up calling 'dark places'. She showed up on my doorstop one night, dropped Phil off with a few bags and disappeared." She noted that Eddie looked horrified. She had been too at the time, but now she was more resigned to it than anything else. "I had no clue what school he went to, what he liked, didn't like, bedtime, nothing. Alia was at mine that night and managed to get him to open up about things before her dad showed up to pick her up. He stayed with me for three months. Then Mel came back and took him back home." Rachel shrugged. It was just the way she was. "Since then, Phil's lived on and off at my house. He and Alia get on great. I've developed a relationship with Melissa because of Philip, really."

Eddie thought his head was going to explode. How could two sisters be so different? He was horrified at the thought of anyone leaving their child like that. He could never, never imagine leaving Michael like that. And from the sounds of it, neither would Rachel. Who was this woman he was with? He'd certainly never imagined anything like this, not in a million years. He opened his mouth again but was cut off by the bell signalling the end of the day. Rachel glanced up at the sound before looking at the wall clock.

"Don't you need to pick up Michael?" Rachel asked as Alia began to stir, the bell having woke her from her slight state of rest. Eddie nodded, torn between being there further for Rachel and hearing the whole story, and being there to pick Michael up on time. Rachel saw the expression in his eyes and cursed herself for not being stronger where he was concerned. "I have to get Ali home, but how about you and Michael come round once you've picked him up? Alia and Jack can keep Michael entertained if you still want to talk."

"Alright, that sounds good. I better run or he'll be worrying where I've got to." Eddie ran from the room as Rachel sighed. Why had she told him so much? She needed to be stronger than that, not need him quite so much. A hand on her arm startled her and she looked over at Alia, who looked a little better for having had a nap.

"I told you before mum. Loving him isn't a crime."

"I shouldn't. Mel, the fire, Stuart…"

"Will only be issues if you let them. Mum, just admit it, even if it's just to me. Do you love Eddie?"

Rachel reluctantly found herself nodding. "Yes, I think so."

Alia nodded gently. "Then everything else will work itself out."

TBC…