"Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey."
— Lord Byron
Dave followed behind Erin's white Subaru Forester, his fingertips drummed anxiously against the steering wheel of his Cadillac. He was so close to getting everything he wanted, and losing it in the same breath. He was helpless, there was nothing he could do to fix anything Erin had been through, except hold on for the ride. His phone rang, Erin's name shone on the handsfree screen. He stabbed the screen, "what's up?" he asked, watching her car turn away from her neighborhood.
"I need gas." She answered, her voice filled the space of his car. "I'll meet you at the house."
Dave shook his head and continued to follow behind her. She never let her car get below a quarter of a tank. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."
"I can pump my own gas," Erin argued as she turned into the gas station.
"What's your point? I'm paying." He said and pulled in behind her and shut off the engine. He hung up the phone and got out of the car.
"You don't have to do that," Erin said from the driver's seat of her car.
"Uh, I kinda do. You don't have your wallet." Dave countered, unscrewing her gas cap.
Erin leaned over and dug through her glove compartment until she found what she was looking for. "You're not the only one who's prepared for anything." She said, holding up a wallet. Inside was an emergency credit card, a key card to her office and some cash.
Dave shook his head, "is it wrong that I'm a little impressed?"
"Oh, you're supposed to be," she said, getting out of the car.
"I told you, I'm paying-"
"And I need stuff." She argued, closing her door.
He swiped the card on the scanner, "then take my card."
"Fine." She said, shaking her head. "I'll spend your money if it'll get you off my back."
"Well, there's plenty of it." He boasted. "Buy what you want." He said and handed her the card.
"Braggart." Erin said, walking towards the store. He waved that black card around like a peacock with its plumage. She didn't usually let him pay for things, but he offered. Considering the circumstances, she would let him cover it until she could get to the bank and get her cards back.
She went to the cooler and grabbed two bottles of SmartWater, Dave would argue that the tap water was fine, and it was, for him.
She went to the counter, put her drinks in front of the cashier and grabbed a Snickers for herself and a Reeses for Dave. He was paying, the least she could do was get him a candy bar.
"Anything else?" The clerk asked, putting the candy in the bag.
Erin paused, "Marlboro Red 100s and a lighter." The clerk handed over the pack and the lighter. Erin shoved them in her pocket and passed him the card. Dave would kill her if he caught her smoking but there was a knot of anxiety in her chest that she couldn't shake off. She couldn't walk so easily back into her old life. How was she going to explain to her children that she was almost murdered by a psychopath in New York City? She couldn't drink, the cigarettes were an old habit and a compromise. The clerk passed the card back to Erin. She picked up her bag and opened the door, the sunlight was too bright and cheery compared to the anxiety bubbling under her surface.
"What did you do?" she asked, staring at her car, parked in front of the building.
"Obviously," Dave said, climbing out of her car. "I moved your car."
"Why?" She asked, laughing. "I can walk, you know." She said and handed him his credit card.
He got in the passenger seat so she could drive. "Yeah and I can run, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to take the easier way out when I can. Just say 'thank you' and let me do nice things for you."
"Thank you," she said, placating, "even though it's a little over the top. Thank you for taking care of me," she said and put the car in gear.
"Uh, last time I checked, that's my job." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as she pulled up to his car and he got out. "I'll see you at the house."
"Drive safe," she said as he got in his car.
Erin made sure to get ahead of him, if she beat him to her house, she could sneak in a smoke before he got there. Even in her own neighborhood, her hands shook against the steering wheel. She pulled into her driveway, the townhouse was a welcome sight. Her shoulders relaxed slightly the closer she got to her front door. Clicking the garage door opener, she pulled inside the garage and turned off the car. Her hands still trembled as she punched the alarm code on the keypad in the garage. Pushing the door open, she tried to ignore the art supplies strung all over the dining room table and the dishes in the dishwasher that needed to be put away. Crossing the tile floor, she dropped her shopping bag and phone on the table. Making a beeline for the french doors, leading to a balcony. The iron patio set called to her. "Mommy's an asshole, Son." She admitted, unwrapping cellophane from the cigarette pack. Her heart raced as she held the cigarette between her fingers and brought it to her lips.
"You're persistent." Erin said, rubbing the spot on her abdomen where her son's foot lay. She flicked the lighter and inhaled a smooth drag.
Her boy shifted again, she pictured him trying to run away from the nicotine invading his bloodstream. "I can't do this." She threw the cigarette down and stomped on it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do anything that might hurt her baby. Picking up the cigarette, she threw it over the balcony and crossed her arms over her chest. The breeze picked up, stinging her cheeks and eyes. Curtis stole her dignity, but he wouldn't take over the rest of her life.
Swiping the tears from her cheeks, she felt crazy. There was no way there was another kidnapper, but the voice in her head wouldn't let up. 'Drink up, Bitch.' When she thought about it, she could feel the barrel of the gun pressed against her head. Shivering against the wind, there were two Unsubs, she knew it, but who would believe her? Who would partner with him? Who hated her enough to want her dead?
She sniffed, hot tears spilled over. People were dead, her team was stalked, because of her and the choices she made a lifetime ago.
Standing on the balcony, the backyard needed cutting. Part of Peter's alimony was keeping up the yard work, as usual he was a few weeks late.
"I wonder where your daddy is." She said to the baby in her belly. Dave's thin jersey didn't provide much warmth against the cold, "I guess we should go back inside." She said and opened the door, abandoning the cigarettes on the table, where they would stay. They weren't needed. Erin stepped inside the house and grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter to wipe her face. David didn't need to see her cry. Where was he? She picked up her phone, a voicemail and a missed call. She dialed his number and waited.
"Where are you?" She asked when he answered.
"You didn't listen to my voicemail?" He asked, loading the groceries in the back of his car.
"No." She answered, pulling out a chair from the breakfast table and sitting down. "I didn't."
"I'm on my way." He said, holding the back door of his car open, Mudgie leaped inside.
"Where did you go?" She asked, forcing a smile, to keep the tears out of her voice.
"You said you didn't have any food." He said, climbing in his car. "Hang on, I'll put you on my bluetooth." He started the engine and the call switched from his phone to his stereo. "Okay, I can hear you now."
She got up and went to the pantry. "I have food, David," she argued. Looking at the shelves, filled with canned goods and boxed pasta.
"You probably have a freezer full of stuff that needs to be thawed out," he countered. "I went to my house."
"You drove past three grocery stores to pick up your own food?" She asked, incredulous.
"None of those stores have my grandmother's chicken pot pie."
"Why do I get the feeling that you only have the ingredients for that?" She asked, staring inside her pantry. She snatched the bag of pretzels off the shelf and opened the bag.
"I'll cook," he offered. Driving passed the supermarket, he checked the rearview mirror to check on Mudgie. The retriever was stretched out on the backseat, half asleep.
"I'll help," she said, pulling a pretzel stick from the bag. "Drive safe and I'll see you when you get here." She ended the call before he could respond. Suddenly she was keenly aware of how messy her house was.
By the time Dave let himself in, she had straightened the living and scrubbed the guest bathroom.
"Erin, I'm home!" He called, stepping inside the house.
Erin pulled the face mask off and threw it in the bathroom trash can and shoved the toilet brush under the sink.
"Hi," she said, stepping out of the bathroom.
"What are you doing?" He asked, setting a box of groceries on the counter.
"Cleaning." She said and went to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.
Dave swallowed sheepishly, "I wish you would have told me that. Now you'll be mad at me."
"What is it?" She went over to the open door, "what's going on?"
"I brought someone to see you,"
"It's a good thing I cleaned the bathroom then."
"Somehow, I don't think he'll care." Dave said, stepping outside. He knelt down, "Come here, Boy."
Mudgie bounded from the car, straight towards Dave with his leash trailing behind him.
"Good boy!" Erin praised, scratching the dog behind the ears with one hand and taking the leash in the other. Dave went back to his car and closed the door.
"Why did you think I would be mad at you for bringing him?" She asked, leading the dog inside.
"You don't like the hair on the furniture," Dave explained. "I almost asked the border to keep him another night."
"He's fine. He doesn't have to get on the furniture. " She said, smiling she ran her hand over Mudgie's head again. "Did you bring your bag?"
"I did," Dave answered.
Erin brushed past him, into the laundry room and pressed the button on the washing machine.
"What are you doing?" Dave asked, following behind her.
She held out her hand for his go-bag. "You are staying the night, aren't you?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then you need clothes." She said, holding out her hand. "Bring me your bag."
"I think I can handle it-" He said, going to the door to collect the bag.
"Yeah and I'm already in here." She pulled his jersey over her head and threw it in the machine.
He went back to her to bring her the bag, "What the hell happened?" He asked, staring at her as she pulled an oversized sweatshirt over her head.
"What?" She asked in response to his wide-eyed expression.
"That," he said, pointing to her belly. "Wasn't there this morning."
"Yes it was," she argued, yanking her shirt down protectively. "You didn't see it from this angle." She brushed him off and threw his clothes in the machine, measured the laundry detergent and closed the lid.
"No, no. I think I would have noticed." He said, following her to the kitchen. "You're too big to be due in October."
He heard it, and if anyone asked he would swear he saw Erin's head twist 365 degrees to glare at him. "Excuse me?" She spat, "you don't really get a vote here."
"I was just saying that I think your dates are wrong-" He said.
"You're not helping yourself," she said, furious. "Is it too much to ask that you give me a little credit? I only found out about him a week ago."
"Yeah and you sat on it for 7 seven days, without saying anything!" Dave countered.
"We were a little busy catching a serial killer!" Erin exploded, "I didn't hide him from you."
Dave moved into the kitchen and started unpacking the groceries. Frustration rolled off him in waves. "I know that," he finally said. He went around the counter, "just please come here."
"No," she turned her back to him to look out the french door. "I just need a minute."
"Erin, please?" He begged and grabbed her wrist.
Erin's blood ran cold, immediately she was back in that hotel room. When the last time someone grabbed her, she almost didn't make it out alive. Her left hand was in Dave's grasp, on instinct her left reared back and slapped her love, hard across his face. Immediately, he dropped her hand and reached up to touch his stinging cheek.
"Oh my God!" She screamed, horrified at her own actions. "David, I'm so sorry!"
"What the fuck was that for?" He snapped and stomped back into the kitchen, away from her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" she said, hoping beyond measure that he understood, it was purely an instinctual response, but how the hell do you come back from that? She got him an ice pack from the freezer and sat it on the counter. Then, she went outside, Mudgie followed behind her and laid at her feet. She sat down at the patio table and fiddled with the cigarettes.
The door opened and closed again, Dave's heavy footfalls echoed on the porch. "You know you can't smoke those." He said, jabbing a finger towards the box on the table.
"I know." She said, still staring into space. Her voice trembled and her jaw twitched as she spoke. "I feel crazy." She admitted. "I know there were two of them and I don't care if you don't believe me."
"Can you prove it?" He asked, and pulled up the chair in front of her. "So far, the only thing we have is the profile on Curtis."
"It's wrong," Erin said, crossing her arms. "I don't have a shred of physical evidence to prove it."
He reached for her hand and held it, "I believe you."
She turned her hand over to look at the scar on her wrist. "They branded me."
"Do you remember that?" He knew he had to tread carefully.
"Well, I didn't cut myself!" She snapped.
"No," he backtracked, "Erin, I know that. Just listen for a second."
"You're not doing the cognitive thing on me." She pulled away from him, David, "you can't worm your way into my brain just to solve this case!"
"Fine," he surrendered and held up his hands. "The case is closed anyway."
"Then we don't have to talk about it." she said flatly and stood up.
Dave watched the door swing open, she and Mudgie disappeared inside. "No, we don't have to talk about it." He muttered and stood up to follow them inside the townhouse.
He found Erin crouched over the dishwasher, putting things away. "Would it kill you to take a break?" He asked, barely hiding his disdain.
"It might." She said, and lifted a stack of plates into a high cabinet. "This is something I have control over."
"Okay. I get it, can I help you or are you going to slap me again?"
She glared at him, "you can cook." she said, closing the dishwasher. "I'll give you the whole kitchen to yourself."
To Dave, that didn't sound like a win. Curtis didn't kill Erin, but he'd changed her forever. Dave watched her stalk through her house. Equal parts angry and grief stricken, it was a good thing her kids weren't home to see her this way. He hoped she didn't insist on calling them tonight, she deserved a night to process what she'd been through, without worrying about them.
He threw on an apron and cooked, while she took control of the lower level of the townhouse. Her jerky movements and the fact that she couldn't sit still for longer than 5 minutes at a time, let him know he was a guest in her house. An unwelcome one at that.
Finally, after she'd straightened the living room for the fourth time, he pulled off the apron and went to her.