Chapter 12
Storybrooke, Maine…
Robert Gold worked very hard to make it appear as if he were untouchable. People looked at him with fear and he honestly didn't care about that. Yet even as he strived for the town to fear him so there were times when he truly didn't feel that was who he was. There were times when he felt that he might have someone else within him fighting to the surface. He didn't understand the feeling and oftentimes when things would happen do make him question the terror, he could cause. These events would make him question the man he was and the things he was striving for, so much so that Robert wondered if the façade he put up was just that. A false truth that he had been perfecting for so long that even he didn't know what the truth behind his own self was anymore. Because for as long as he could remember he had had nightmares of a woman screaming or that same woman dying. Many nights, he woke up in terror, and he couldn't say why. "Who are you? What do you want from me?" called Robert in the dreams looking at this unknown woman trying to see her face, but only seeing the back of her head as he continued with his questions without ever getting any answers. He thought at first that it could be Mila, but everything about the woman was wrong. Her hair wasn't the same brown as Mila, her skin wasn't tan as Mila had been the shape of her body wasn't even the same. It couldn't be Mila, for the woman seemed to bring him a type of calm somehow even as she brought so many questions, and yet no matter how he tried this woman wouldn't show him her face. Just standing in her presence made his heart pound. He wanted to pull her close to his body just to make sure she was really there, and he didn't understand why. This woman was somehow in his heart and Robert wasn't so sure he wanted her to leave him as he woke up from his time with her each night. Of this, he was undoubtedly sure, for every time he saw her, his heart started to pound, and it wasn't in fear. Because despite it all, Robert felt safe with her, he may very well have loved her if the terror that raced through his veins when he lost her was any indication. When he slept each night and he found himself following this woman through his own mind, Robert felt more human then he did when he was awake, and he didn't want anyone to be afraid. It was like this woman already knew he was more then that. Without even looking into her eyes, she seemed to know him, and he envied that even as she presented him with so many questions. No one saw him that way and it made him long for this woman to somehow be real even as he knew she was not. Throughout the whole town of Storybrooke, Maine, Robert could only ever remember being friend with one person throughout his time there. It was very hard to have friends with the other townspeople when they all looked at him with the glare of an enemy. There was no one who cared to know the soul of the true man that resided within him, so that left only one person who seemed to know him, and know things about him that even Robert felt unsure of. That person was a man that lived as a recluse at the very edge of town. Jefferson, though he only saw him as he sculked in the shadows or from within the confines of his estate, was very much his best friend. The man never went outside though even Mr. Gold couldn't say why. The man was well known for very crazy though Robert knew otherwise. Jefferson was in fact a genius, from when he was brewing a tea to do whatever the drinker required of it or when it came to acquiring the rare commodity that only he could get. He could accomplish many things and Jefferson did it all without ever leaving his house. It was amazing and even Mr. Gold found himself often in awe of the way he managed to do these things. Many thought the man was mad for this, but he wasn't. "I'm an acquired taste myself, Gold, so it isn't hard for me to find rare items such as myself" said Jefferson when he inquired how he possibly did the things he did, but no other answer ever came even when his children broached the question. Mr. Gold had never met a more loving father then Jefferson Stan. He doted on each one and made sure each one was completely and unequivocally loved. No one came before the four and Mr. Gold could respect that and had come to even care for the children himself. The little family always treated him with kindness and Robert had come to appreciate it so much so that he found himself watching over them in his way. Mr. Gold had come to know the children quite well, to the point that he felt almost protective of them, and found he even looked forward to seeing them when he paid Jefferson a visit. Grace was the eldest though Mr. Gold always remarked on how well she took care of her younger siblings. Grace acted with a poise that he found most adults lacked. She managed the madness that often accompanied her father's nature and each of her siblings that was remarkable. She didn't handle any of the other three children the same, she had a way of dealing with each one, and Mr. Gold found he deeply respected her in that as he watched her do it. She was a woman beyond her years and as he got to know her, Robert felt a pride he couldn't quite explain at first, and after a while he didn't care to try. Jefferson's second daughter always brought him a joy that Robert couldn't quite explain. She was much more then a bright little girl, but at a very young age she was proving herself to be a very capable inventive little girl. Her name was Helena and Robert Gold couldn't deny that she was his favorite person to see each day. She reminded him of someone though he didn't know who, but when he saw her, he always felt a joy that he couldn't explain anymore then he could explain the strange dreams he had each night. Whenever he visited their home, the second Helena saw him, she always smiled at him, and Mr. Gold couldn't stop himself from smiling back after a time. She was a very talkative young girl and very smart if the report cards Jefferson displayed on the wall were any indication. "Nicholas and Annabelle are two different types of children though" thought Robert when he considered Jefferson's two youngest children finding he couldn't really understand either of them. The two youngest children often sent him mixed signals that he didn't quite understand. One child seemed to hate him for reasons beyond his knowledge while the other was so attached to him that Robert often wondered what she saw in him that the other did not. Because he did work hard to be hated, but when it came to Jefferson's son hating him, Robert couldn't recall doing anything at all, but the boy didn't seem to need a reason. Yet Jefferson's youngest daughter often clung to him and seemed to love him so much that Robert often wondered if she thought he himself was her father instead of Jefferson himself. She treated him so sweetly and whenever he visited, she'd often crawl into his lap, and refuse to leave until Grace picked her up making her do so without any choice. Robert just couldn't understand why Jefferson's son Nicholas hated him, so much. He worked to make people hate him, but every time that little boy showed him that hatred Robert felt a throb of pain that no one else could have caused him. Nicholas and he had shared less then two words, but the hatred was there, nonetheless. Nicholas didn't seem to need a reason and it was that that Mr. Gold truly didn't understand. "Hello, Nicholas" said Robert when he greeted the boy, but he never received a response other then a glare as the boy went upstairs to his room. Robert tried harder then anyone would to get the boy to realize that he meant him no harm, but he always received that same glare. The boy simply would not communicate with him. Robert often wondered if the boy sensed something evil in him that his siblings didn't. If that were why the boy hated him though, Robert didn't know if he could show the boy that he wasn't a monster, but nothing more then a man. He wanted to show him that men made mistakes, but the boy seemed determined not to see any of it. Robert truly didn't know what to do to fix it. Annabelle, the youngest of the four, was the sweetest little girl that Robert Gold had ever met. She didn't have a mean or cruel bone in her body. In many ways, Annabelle gave him hope for the world, and he truly loved that about her. She represented to him everything good that was in the world. She had yet to be contaminated by the evil that he knew existed in the world today and Robert very much wanted to keep that evil from even entering her soul. He wanted to contain that purity within her and every time he saw her, he got the sense that she was somehow making him a better man. She showed him affection the likes of which Mr. Gold could scarcely remember ever receiving. Robert now knew to expect her to run into his arms for a hug the second that little girl saw him. Annabelle could hug him with a grip that seemed impossible for someone so small. It was her eyes that startled him the most, those eyes, so blue, and Robert felt something in him give at the sight of them though he didn't know why. Her eyes held that purity, but also, they too seemed to remind him of something that he knew he needed to remember. He wanted to remember it but found he couldn't even as he looked into those eyes. It all had startled him at first, but now, whenever he visited the family, Robert found he looked forward to the sight of her face, and the grip that was her tiny arms going around him. It was a feeling he never could have anticipated. Robert allowed his façade to drop when he visited Jefferson and his family. He allowed the monster in himself to hibernate and he was just another human being. He loved it more then he would ever admit. He would never let anyone know that though because to succeed at his business it was important that the people in the town be afraid. Robert knew that and used it to his advantage every day when he stood within his shop. No one else got close to him. To the town, he would always be the monster, and that was just how he wanted it. "A fierce man would not get walked upon, but a kind man would" thought Robert when he considered his actions from time to time though he didn't allow himself to do so very often; he was a business man in his mind and nothing else mattered other then that. Robert made a point not to dwell on his actions. He made a point not think of himself as a monster, but as a businessman. A ruthless man in that sense, but he felt that it was required of him if he hoped to survive in this town. He was who he needed to be, and he didn't think twice about what that required him to do. When he did though, there was always a surety about him, and yet he wondered what that meant for his future. His future in Storybrooke always felt so unsure and sometimes he thought that was why the mysterious woman came to him when he slept. That was precipitated that very night when Robert Gold went to sleep. It had been one of those nights when he chose to dwell upon the questions in his life, the questions of his very existence, and when he went to bed that night those questions didn't leave him. They stayed and in them once his eyes closed, Robert found that woman waiting for him again. She wasn't facing him as usual, but the second he was there standing right behind her, she began to run away, and Robert found he could only follow her. "Wait, please…who are you?" called Robert running after the woman even as he realized that he didn't know where he was going, but that he found himself running through the halls of a castle like structure that somehow made him feel at ease more then the home he lived in now. "Why do you keep coming to me this way?" called Robert, but she never stopped, she never gave him any answer as they moved through the stone like walls with the lights around him so dim he found himself nearly in complete darkness. The woman was the only thing he could see clearly. Where everything else was hidden by the darkness his mind had created, the woman stood as if in a spotlight, and Robert could make out her every feature as he ran after her. Because though it seemed as if she were always a distance away, Robert always felt as if he could reach out to touch her, and with his eyes he did. He reached out to examine her trying to remember where he had seen her before. He could see immediately that she was very beautiful, her hair running in brown waves down the length of her back, but it worked well against her pale milk while skin. Robert looked at her and he couldn't remember where they'd met, but he knew somehow, they had. As he followed her then, Robert watched the way her blue and white dress swayed around her and he didn't know why, but the image was soothing to him even as he found himself chasing this woman in such desperation. It was all very confusing as he ran after her in these walls that felt so familiar to him for reasons he didn't understand. He was highly aware that he could stop at any time that he could choose not to follow, but he did it anyway. He followed her, his heart pounding as it always did, and a desperate feeling coming over him. It was like he had to catch up to her, like he had to see her, but he just wasn't fast enough. "Wait please" called Robert as she turned out of his sight in that moment her image leaving him to move around a corner leaving him to rush after her suddenly more desperate then he had been only seconds before until turning the same corner all he found was nothing. There was only an empty darkness and as he looked for her, he saw nothing. The seconds passed slowly as he looked for her until he looked straight ahead of him only to see her coming towards him again. Her face was in shadow at first, but then he could see it clearly. Immediately, he thought she was beautiful just as he knew she would be, but as that face came rushing all the closer, he felt something in him spasm. She was trying to tell him something and, in this moment, Robert thought for the first time that he might get some answers, and he found himself afraid of what might be about to happen. She had the bluest eyes, but that was all he really saw in that moment. "Rumpelstiltskin!" called the woman walking briskly towards him and at the sound of the name, Robert Gold woke up in his usual terror. His heart was still pounding as he saw her face still there in his mind. He didn't know what that name meant, but he could feel it was of significance. As much significance as the fact that the woman had finally shown him her face.