…Right?
CE 68 Scandinavia
Namarra sat on the edge of the bed, the tears drying on her cheeks and her throat coarse from screaming. A gasp like a leftover sob escaped her lips and she coughed, her mouth too dry to handle such abuse. She understood that time, however, why she had been crying and why she had been screaming. In fact, she had been forced to sleep under that dome because she kept remembering.
Dead.
Kai was dead.
Her breath quickened at that realization again, her hands shaking along with her elbows and shoulders as the vibration flowed up her arms from her fingers clutching at the little bit of mattress that stuck out over the frame of the bed. The particulars were lost on her, but the heaviness in her gut—in her chest—never went away no matter how often she was being forced to try to forget it. And it was always his face—her brother's fair face as it lay turned awkwardly away from her on the ground.
"Miss Legund?" a voice said, but she didn't bother following the sound. It would just be some doctor she didn't know trying to assess his ability to take the memories of her brother away from her. She clenched her teeth, her fingers whitening as her nails scraped against the metal of the bed frame.
"Miss Legund, can you hear me?"
If they said her brother's name—if they even mentioned him, she would lose it. No one had any right to say his name. Not in front of her, not anymore, not ever. That name was for her alone. It was hers alone. Her breath quickened and a shadow passed over her bare feet, the doctor having the audacity to come closer when she hadn't responded, she assumed. There was no other reason for someone to dare get that close to her.
"Miss Legund, I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to answer me as calmly as you can."
His voice was soft and distant, a vague reminder that despite the panic and hate clouding her mind, she was very much their captive. Would always be their captive. She ran a tongue against the tip of her top front teeth, still able to recognize the subtle metallic taste. How it had gotten there was a mystery, but her tongue kept wandering to the spot, as if that was the key to hold on to.
"What do you remember about Kai?"
"Don't say his name!" she barked, leaning forward with the words as she spat them at his shadow on the floor. "No one gets to say that name—only I can say that name! You know nothing about him! You don't deserve to say anything about him!" Her breath hitched and her throat burned with the pain of her hysteria, but her body wouldn't let her stop. No, only she was allowed to talk about him.
She looked up when the voice started uttering her name again, the feral look in her eyes matching the snarl on her face. "Shut up. Fuck off. You filthy sons of whores don't get to even think about him again!" she screeched in Swedish and the tirade tore on and gained momentum. "These memories are mine! You don't get to stand there and tell me that I should forget anything about him!"
The doctor's face was impassive as they locked eyes, some soldiers coming in only after she had leaned forward off the bed to lunge at the physician's white coat, pulling the fabric and tearing it at the left armpit. The soldiers braced her arms behind her, holding her back from getting further out of control, but the feat wasn't easy, her spittle and screams exiting her mouth in a string of words that weren't even Swedish anymore.
"Be as gentle as you can," the physician said with a sigh, a tired hand tracing a line across his brow. "Put her in restraints and we'll try again." The soldiers complied as Namarra's eyes caught the tail ends of two females in trainee uniforms who were fleeing the room. They looked to be barely older than her, one with dark skin and dark hair and the other with bleached blonde hair and pale skin. Their matching emerald eyes caught hers for a second and her jaws snapped at them.
"Kai, please!" Namarra yelled after them, their presence barely registering in her mind when she felt her wrists and ankles get strapped to the bed once more. "Don't! Don't take Kai away from me!"
The doctor bit on the back of his pen, forcing the words through his teeth as he continued thinking aloud. Bits and pieces only barely penetrated the madness spitting between the Natural's cries. "I think we'll have to go deeper."
Namarra felt her chest move in a breath as her eyes opened slowly, the timer ringing in a trill that was starting to feel like a permanent resident in her mind. The colored dome reverberated above her head, making her eardrums pound with the effects of the machine even as it waned, its cycle completed. Blinking, she heard the click of the lock and a hiss as the door opened to her right, the glass from the dome moving and falling off to her left side. She blinked two more times sluggishly as she realized she hadn't been strapped to the bed and someone had a firm hand behind her right shoulder, helping her into a sitting position.
"Nam?" the voice said, but her brain didn't connect with it yet, her eyes staring ahead at his face and catching familiar features such as red hair and dark blue eyes. She gazed at those eyes, unblinking as his hands moved to her shoulders and his knees hit the floor near her bedside. "Chicabo, it's me, Clotho. How're you feeling?"
She blinked and her face twisted slowly, contorted as she watched his eyes scan hers, but the sounds she heard were alien. Her attention fell down past his nose to his lips, watching them move in another rhythm of words that made her head ache. Swallowing, her hair swiped against her shoulders and she tried to force the pain away, her hand wandering up to her forehead and pressing hard against it.
Another voice spoke in the room and she felt the hands on her shoulders tense, as if hearing whatever that other person had said upset him. Or at least made him nervous.
"Chicabo, it's me, Clotho. How're you feeling?"
Those sounds she recognized, and her attention moved from his mouth to his eyes, her lips instantly curving upwards in a grin once she recognized him. "Clotho, hey," she breathed and he matched her joy, though it was strained.
"Hey, yourself." He gave a soft chuckle and she cocked her head, noting the way his eyes started to glisten. Had he ever looked at her like that before? So… sad? He must have seen her shift in mood because he quickly shook his head, trying to keep her from worrying. "I need to ask you a question, Nam. Are you okay with that?"
She nodded slowly and smiled, her complete faith in him showing through in that one innocent gesture. "Of course. Anything."
"Nam," the redhead began, taking a breath and his fingers tensed on her shoulders again. "What do you remember about K—" Her breath hitched, her body instantly tensing at the click of the "K," and Clotho froze, not finishing the name. Her eyes grew wide and her breath quickened, the fingers on her right hand starting to shake in her lap. Clotho watched sadly for a brief moment before his right hand moved to take her shaking fingers in his. "Nam, everything's okay. I just want to ask you what you remember about your brother."
"H-he's dead," she stammered, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. "Clotho, he's gone."
He sighed, the pain returning to his eyes in a raw moment that made her ache even more. A sob caught in her dry throat and she bit her tongue. "I know, Chicabo, I'm so sorry." She sniffed and his other hand moved from her shoulder to stroke the left side of her head, patting her hair like any older brother would.
She sniffed a few times more, wanting to succumb to her grief, but the doctor in the room forced her to resist. The idea of her looking so weak and vulnerable in front of him made her angry even though he seemed far more interested in scratching something into his notebook. She sniffed again and Clotho smiled sadly, moving his hand from her head only when she reached up to wipe away the tears on the sleeves of her uniform.
"Can she go now?" Clotho asked, turning away from her and back towards the doctor. "Are you finally done with her?"
"Yes, Buer, you can take her now if you wish."
Clotho grumbled something under his breath, but Namarra hadn't understood, both hands now trying to wipe the tears away from her eyes as they fell. No, she would not give that doctor the pleasure of seeing her cry, no matter how much her chest hurt.
"C'mon, Nam," Clotho said, pivoting on the floor as he turned and squatted, his back now facing her. "I'll take you to the others."
Sniffing once more, Namarra nodded and fell forward, her arms reaching and stabilizing around his neck as her feet and knees looped into the gaps between his sides and elbows. He shifted her weight once before standing, the two of them not even looking at the doctor as the main door hissed and opened into the hall.
Orga and Shani stood on the other side of the door, both pushing off the wall and their crossed arms dropping to their sides the moment the door hissed shut behind Clotho with Namarra on his back. They both riddled off something that she, again, didn't recognize and she hid, turning her face and resting her right cheek against the back of Clotho's neck. She felt embarrassed then—embarrassed that not only did Clotho have to see her cry, but those two as well.
Clotho's hair brushed gently back and forth against her own, shaking his head at the two for something, but Namarra just clutched tighter, her arms wrapping further around his neck in what was probably an uncomfortable squeeze.
There was a heavy sigh and then Orga walked into her vision to Clotho's left, his familiar smile small on his lips. "Nam, are you hungry?" He had to bend down slightly to give her a warm look as they locked eyes, his expression displaying a level of confidence and endearment she wasn't quite sure what to make of. Namarra didn't even know what day it was. Hell, she didn't even know the time. Her stomach seemed to know the answer though and it growled loudly at Orga's suggestion, forcing a blush to her cheeks as she tried to hide her face again, this time under her left arm.
Orga gave a sad chuckle. "Right, well, Nam's stomach never lies. C'mon, let grab some food." She felt Clotho nod and then turn, Orga and Shani falling in step on each side of them.
No one said anything for a time, the four of them walking together down the grey corridor and following the blue stripe on the carpeted floor. Their shoes made the only noise, the halls eerily quiet despite what was probably another very busy day at the military base. It was an irregular trek, Shani's rhythm displaying a slight limp and even Orga winced once or twice when his left leg hit the ground, but no one spoke, their pain theirs alone and their silence showing more fellowship than any words. Still, the fear was there, nagging.
"What's going to happen to us?" Namarra asked at last, her small voice following her chin as it shifted to rest on Clotho's left shoulder. "Are you guys going to leave me too?"
"Of course not," Shani responded immediately, though whether he had any evidence to back that up was debatable. Their pace never slowed, however, their confidence showing through in that one act alone. "People who break up family are monsters." Clotho's shoulders bobbed in a chuckle and Namarra shifted to look over her right shoulder at Shani. He noticed her turn and winked.
"Family?" she asked and turned to Orga next when he spoke.
"We're your brothers now, Nam."
"Yeah, everyone else be damned," Clotho added and Namarra smiled, more tears falling from her eyes as she buried her embarrassment in Clotho's back again. No one could ever replace her brother, she knew, but the warm acceptance in her chest at their words was something she never wanted to forget.
And would fight her damnest to keep a hold of.
CE 72 May 24, Japan (Afternoon)
Namarra opened her eyes, seeing the binder open on the table first and the picture of her and Lexi angled slightly on the top. She blinked twice, slowly, her brain barely registering someone rubbing something cool and wet against the inside of her right arm.
"Miss Legund, are you feeling better now?"
Namarra shook her head, her gaze following the voice to the older gentleman, Dr. Tsugu, sitting across from her and leaning forward, offering her a glass of water. "I think you might be exhausted from your journey here to Japan because you fainted as you were donating your blood and plasma."
She blinked at him again, taking the glass of water only when she saw him shake the contents lightly in her peripheral vision. "Thanks," she muttered, though the words were still slow. She felt… off. While she had had her blood and plasma taken many times, she never recalled having fainted before. She did remember passing out, however, and slowly moved her eyes up to meet the gaze of the older man. His smile was soft on his lips, not at all threatening like it had been moments before. Was it moments? She didn't really know.
"What time is it?" she asked, taking a sip of water as her attention moved to the nurse who was putting a plaster over the dot of blood at the inside of her elbow. Namarra nodded her thanks and set the glass down on the table before reaching over with her left hand to pull down her sleeve.
"Around three in the afternoon," Tsugu responded and he held out a hand to calm Namarra as her eyes widened in surprise. "I don't think any of us really expected for it to take this long, I do apologize. As I mentioned before, I'd like to invite all of you out to dinner—my treat—as an apology for keeping you so long."
Namarra nodded slowly, her eyes falling back down to the binder. Her sluggish mind was piecing things back together and she picked up the water again in an effort to hide her discomfort. Biting on the glass as she sipped, she recalled everything he had said about the BCPU Program, her apparent copycat status, and her parents' involvement. She frowned and finished the liquid before responding.
"I need to talk to my colleagues about that," she said slowly, though she hadn't recalled such an offer before. "I would like to go check in on them anyway, if your 'tour' is finished." Her statement held as much bite as she had intended. "And you will uphold your promise to let Lathan leave?"
"Of course," Tsugu responded immediately with a shrug. "Like he said, he has finished the project."
Project, she thought with a scowl, still never finding out the particulars of why they had targeted Lathan, but as her eyes roamed back down to the photo of her and Lexi, she had a feeling it had more to do with Lathan's proximity to two Berserkers than his abilities. It always seemed to come down to their cursed genetics. Scowling, her eyes returned to Tsugu's face and she saw his smile as far more devilish than she had seen it before. Tensing, her hands instantly balled into fists as her pulse quickened. What was that look for?
"Come," he began, shaking his head and uncrossing his legs as he braced his hands at his sides to help him stand. "Let's go apologize for our tardiness." He offered a thank you to the nurse as Namarra grabbed her suit jacket draped over the back of the sofa and followed him out the door, taking one last look at the binder and feeling a tugging in her chest that she didn't quite understand.
Athrun had outright refused Tsugu's hospitality, causing Lathan to panic and salvage the social part of that situation by explaining they were taking the first flight out because he was keen to return to Orb to see his sister.
"Like Mr. Dino mentioned before, we have fellow employees coming to switch with us as we speak," Lathan reiterated after Athrun had explained as much rather curtly earlier in the conversation. "No doubt, they would love to join you and Miss Almasy as a final farewell dinner and a thank you for your hospitality."
Namarra wasn't sure what had happened while she had been away, but she could tell that Lathan had his old glasses back and that meant the special contraption that had been helping him see was now gone. He looked healthier with some color returning to his cheeks, Namarra noted, filing that away for later to ask him. Perhaps the device had been making him ill?
She had signed the contract without a second of hesitation and that action had caused Athrun to tense, but she couldn't figure out why he was so on edge. He had fulfilled his role and a couple of days was by far the best outcome any of them could hope for. Besides, wouldn't her hesitating show she hadn't had any trust in him? She knew what the contract said and since Athrun had gotten them to agree to the contents, Sora couldn't do anything more than what she allowed, right? That was the whole point of this, after all, and these couple of days would allow her to gather more information about her copycat genetics.
…Right?
"Yes, that sounds like a nice exchange," Tsugu responded with a smile. "I do apologize for suggesting something so inconsiderate. Of course you would like to return as quickly as possible to see your sister. I do hope she recovers soon."
"Thank you, sir," Lathan responded and dipped into a bow after the men had shook hands and parted. Athrun stepped in next, shaking hands with each of the men at the meeting and putting on a pleasant expression that even Namarra could tell was forced. She tensed at that realization. Something was definitely… off.
And, somehow, she was beginning to feel it was her fault.
"We will see you tomorrow then, Ms. Almasy?" Nakamura asked and Namarra nodded, slipping back into her thick accent.
"Yes, I am looking forward to wrapping up this project and seeing more of this company." The older men nodded and smiled, but Lathan and Athrun tensed. She smiled as well and took a deep breath, swallowing nervously only when she finally met Athrun's gaze and the cold disappointment sitting there.
Yup, it was her fault.
Lathan had been able to gather his things while Namarra had been away, so the time was brief between her returning with Tsugu to the meeting room and their departure. The three of them hurried to the train as soon as they were released, eager to get as far away from the complex as possible, but the closer they travelled to their hotel in tense silence, the more Namarra dreaded the lecture that was probably waiting for her once they all had a bit of privacy.
She sighed, churning through the information Tsugu had given her in an attempt to forget none of it. She was going to sit down and type it all out for Lexi the moment she returned to the hotel, she knew, eager to get the data in Lathan's and then the redhead's hands. It was a huge breakthrough and, no matter how sour a taste was in her mouth each time she thought back on the knowledge, it was just the nudge they needed to figure out more about the Berserker.
To figure out more about themselves.
Lathan and Athrun disappeared through their hotel door the moment Namarra did, but even she didn't think they would be gone for long based on Athrun's body language and silent treatment the entire way back. He was pissed and he didn't often get pissed—well, at least with her. That unfortunate emotion was often left for Lexi or Cagalli to navigate.
Just after Namarra had abandoned everything near the bed and turned on her laptop, three loud knocks sounded on the door. The Natural sighed loudly, admitting defeat and walking over to the handle, turning and pulling the door backwards to a now dressed down, but very angry Athrun. His suit jacket was thrown on the bed behind him as well as his tie, the top button of his white dress shirt dangling open as his hands balled into fists at his side.
Namarra saw Lathan in the background loosening his own tie, his eyes now closed in a loud sigh. Even blind Lathan could sense the tension in the room and, no doubt, he was bracing for the shouting match that was to come. What Namarra couldn't figure out, however, was why Athrun was so mad. What had she done to deserve such wrath?
Well—okay—maybe she had some idea…
"What the hell was that, Namarra? I thought we were a team?" Athrun snapped, the snarl on his lips unmasked and even worse than what she had witnessed after Phoebe had paid them a visit. If he was just as distressed about what had happened at Sora as he had been when he came to organize the crime scene, she was definitely about to come face-to-face with something she wasn't sure she was mentally prepared to deal with in that moment. The fact he was willingly using her real name said far more about the situation than she cared to admit as well. "I was trying my damnest to keep you from going into Sora alone and you just up and agree to go with them anyway? What the hell? You can't just spring these things on me on the fly."
"The circumstances changed and I had to alter the narrative a bit," she said simply, taking a step back into her room and shimmying her own jacket off her blouse, tossing it on the bed and fixing the cuffs of her long sleeves. "Everything worked out, no need to panic."
"Worked out? Is that what you're calling it? We had it in the bag, Nam, and you up and changed the plan?" She opened her mouth to argue that she, in fact, hadn't changed anything, but he cut in. "I see and hear you panic about going into that building for an entire day and evening and all you have to say to me is it 'worked out'? What was the point of everything we did if you were just going to go with them anyway?"
She frowned. She had underestimated how much responsibility he would put on his shoulders and that was an oversight on her end. She had played the room and tried to curve it to her advantage—to get more information about her other half. As far as Athrun had been concerned, they already had the upper hand because his goal was to get everyone back to Orb that night. She cursed quietly. "The president knew me, Dino, so I just went with him to hear what he had to say. Nothing was going to happen," she added quickly. "You had already cornered them."
Athrun slammed his hand against the doorframe and she jumped, Lathan doing the same in the background behind him. Yes, greatly underestimated. Gulping, she watched him carefully as he took one step towards her and she tensed, preparing for the physical altercation she was very certain she didn't want to have.
"Cornered them? The moment you left you practically blew our entire plan wide open!" he shouted, releasing a string of curses as he pushed off the doorframe to walk a small circle back in his room between the now sitting Lathan and the open doorway. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair before stopping and turning back to her, pointing. "You might be able to pull off this shit with Lexi, but I can't read your fuckin' mind like she can. For all I knew you had just agreed to something that would have rendered our entire plan useless and then what, huh?"
"I would have figured it out."
"Figured it out? Nam, we had already figured it out!" Athrun took a step towards the door again and she saw Lathan reach out to stop him, but the hand missed, the older Coordinator's fingers barely brushing the back end of Athrun's shirt as he returned to the doorway. "You put both yourself and Lathan in danger. Do you realize how hard it was to convince them that you, genuinely, didn't want to stay or didn't need to stay? We had you coming back with us tonight—tonight, Namarra—but they were insisting you remain at least a week because clearly you were interested in learning about their projects. Bullshit is what it was. They were talking complete bullshit and I couldn't even call them out on it!"
"The president had information that I wanted to know—still has information I want to know," she shot back, though even to her it was starting to sound like an excuse. She hadn't known that at the time and Athrun's scoff proved he knew that too.
"Oh, and what's that? What's so important that you'd risk doing all this for?"
She gave a frustrated sigh and turned her head away. Even though she had learned terribly valuable information it was true the whole thing had been a gamble. Her eyes fell onto her open laptop and she sighed. "I can't tell you."
"Oh—wonderful—you can't even tell me that." He growled in frustration, hitting the doorframe once more. Was her changing the script really the reason he was going off like this? It seemed like there was more to it than that, but when she spared a look at Lathan behind him, she noticed his sympathy was directed at Athrun, not her. Were they both that worried about her? She cursed.
"Well, congratulations, Namarra," Athrun went on after a few more moments of calming down. "Your new narrative has you stuck here and based on what you've just told me, you'll probably not be grateful to know we talked them down from a month to a week to two days so you can finish any final adjustments on the project—whatever the hell that entails." He rolled his eyes and growled again. "We thought we were doing you a favor, but perhaps not. I hope it's fuckin' worth it."
"They won't do anything to me, Dino. I am sure of that much."
"For your sake, I hope that's true."
He slammed the door.
Namarra released a breath and felt her fingers ease away from her palms, staring at the door for a moment longer as she heard another slam in the other room. Either Athrun had stormed out of the hotel room entirely or he was cooling off in the bathroom. She cursed. She was right, she knew, Sora wasn't going to do anything to her without her permission and even the blood and plasma donation that day had been something she had agreed to. While she clung to that reasoning, however, she knew Athrun was right as well. Based on how the conversation had been going, she could have been leaving with them that evening, instead she had gotten greedy.
She sighed as her eyes wandered from the door to her computer and she walked to it briskly, pulling out the chair and sitting at the small desk. She might have been greedy, but this time it had paid off.
…Right?
Athrun slammed the bathroom door behind him after he had left Namarra, not able to look at her anymore and definitely not able to face Lathan. He didn't get angry like that often and despite the initial rush, it usually ended with him feeling embarrassed. He was better than his anger and even more so in a situation like this where their outcome, no matter how much worse than the ultimate, best case scenario, was still pretty damn good. He would be leaving that evening with Lathan in tow and Namarra heading back a couple days behind, unscathed. A win, surely. And yet…
He pounded his fist onto the countertop, taking little to no pleasure in the pain that vibrated up his arm. Namarra going off script had bothered him far more than he thought it would have. It was just another example of the two of them doing their own thing and leaving the rest of them to sit there, wondering if they were helping or hindering their situation. And it always came back to that: their situation. The fact that it kept affecting those around them was making him realize this was a bigger deal than any of them really understood. And that pissed him off too.
Was it trust? Did he just not trust Namarra like he did Lexi? He shook his head immediately, frowning as he reached forward to turn on the tap. Him and Lexi had gotten into similar arguments in the past and while she was more willing to let him in on what her plan was, she was just as evasive.
The water streamed down into the metal bowl and he watched it surf up against the sides, noting the brief moments his tired eyes reflected in the waves and he released a slow breath. Is this it? he thought. Is that all I am? The water caught his reflection once more and he closed his eyes, his fingers curling up against the marble of the countertop. Was he merely someone to be strung along until he finally just "got it?" Lacus had done that in the war, surprising everyone when she had helped Kira take the Freedom and then stood there at the end of his barrel telling him that he was wrong—that Athrun needed to open his eyes. Kira had said similar things when he had descended on Orb and even Dearka and Lexi had seemed to be mimicking the same tune. Even his father…
He whispered a curse, sticking his hands under the water and cupped a pool of the liquid before pushing it up against his face. Maybe he was thinking too hard—making too many leaping connections. He wasn't some puppet people were toying with. If that was the case, he wouldn't be in charge of the Hermes project at all or had left ZAFT behind by his own volition. Namarra might have been playing puppet master this time around, but maybe it meant she had trusted him enough to write his own script for the drama.
The water slipped through his fingers and down into the sink as his hands lingered for a moment longer, his eyes closed and focused on his slowing pulse. Was it, at the end of the day, just stress? Thinking back, when was the last time any of them had taken a break? There was the battle at Jachin Due, the aftermath, and them navigating their own individual traumas. But amid all of that, had any of them really just turned off? Tried to deal with it all?
"I really hope it gets easier," Yzak had said. The stress and pressure of fighting in a mobile suit, knowing it was either you and those you are protecting or "them," and then having to deal with the guilt of possibly taking that person from his or her loved ones. The sheer destruction and helplessness of GENESIS and nuclear weapons. Watching friends and family die…
"That's it," he said at last, his hands falling back down to the sink. "We're taking a break." Lathan would be coming back to Orb with him that evening and Namarra would be a couple of days behind. Phoebe was no longer a threat and there were no other pressing things on his docket that needed to be sorted through right away. They had jumped into doing Hermes missions almost immediately after the war and none of them had really had the chance to heal. Well, now was their time. They needed to wait for Lexi to get back to full strength anyway.
He sighed, shaking his head before reaching over to grab the towel on the counter.
Burn out; that was all it was. Too much stress. Too much pressure.
That was it.
…Right?
Namarra was doing her last read through of the information when she heard two knocks on the door, softer than the ones she had heard nearly 10 minutes ago. "Nam, it's Lathan," a voice called and the Natural got up, only realizing then she hadn't changed yet, still wearing her business trousers and blouse. Shrugging, she untucked the end of her shirt from her waistband as she walked to the door, turning and pulling the handle once more. The person who greeted her that time was much calmer and dressed much more casually, having put on some sweats that she had assumed Athrun had packed with him, because she doubted Sora had really provided Lathan with much more than a few suits and some pajamas. Namarra cocked her eyebrow at the thought, impressed Athrun had thought ahead enough to bring some extra things for Lathan. He was clearly the brains of the duo.
"Hey, Lathan," she said lightly, her voice sounding far cheerier than the mood the information she had been typing up had put her in. "Sorry about before."
He shrugged. "We're all a bit tense; don't worry. But do I get a 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a really long time and I missed you' hug?"
That made her smile and even before he walked in, her arms were around his waist, her cheek pressed against his collar, just under his chin. He hadn't showered yet, but he still smelled fresh, the unfamiliar fragrance a faint reminder that he had been away from home. It wasn't a type of scent she normally found on him and felt her nose crinkle with the smell, knowing some unfortunate individual would have had to go and pick it out. The person had poor taste.
His arms wrapped around her shoulders as he pulled her in close, lifting her up slightly off the floor with a strained laugh. "Damn, I missed you guys."
"We've been worried sick and drinking way too much coffee to try and find you."
He laughed. "I'd expect nothing less. Although, Nam," he began and she tensed, his arms clamping tighter as he shuffled her backwards. Finally through the frame, his left hand patted his way along the edge of the door to get a good grip, closing it slightly but not completely. "You really need to stop being so reckless. I didn't warn you about BC just to have you jump headfirst down the ravine into their waiting arms."
"I know…" she said with a sigh, her shoulders moving with the gesture as her arms tightened around his sides. In that moment, however, she couldn't feel defensive. She had been so wrapped up in her most recent discoveries the weight of him standing there in front of her hadn't really taken shape until that hug and she willingly drowned in her relief. Her lips, perhaps for the first time since he had been kidnapped, curved upwards in a genuine smile and her memories produced an image of Kai smiling and winking his own approval. A phantom hand reached out towards her and she felt his ghost of a touch ruffle the hair on the top her head.
Success.
Lathan was safe.
Lathan didn't seem unhappy with the sisterly affection, so she stayed for just a moment longer, relieved her efforts had helped save one brother. She didn't even care of he was reprimanding her for her recklessness. At least he was there to do it.
"Namarra?" he asked, when she hadn't said anything and her breath came out slowly, the muscles in her face drooping. The intense relief had begun to fade and she started feeling it then, feeling as if there was something else—something she should be comforting him for. Comforting? she thought, and her heart began beating faster. It was such a specific word, but why did she think that one in particular?
"Nam, I'm fine. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."
He had been picking up on her silence and her arms had even twitched at her most recent realization, but his worry was misplaced, she knew—no she felt. While Lathan had been quickly slipping into that older brother role for her since the war, his worry shouldn't have been for her. Should it? A sharp pain shot across her forehead and she shook her head, forcing the odd sensation down for digestion later.
"Sorry, Lathan," she began before he could voice his concern once more. "I know you and Dino are mad, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity."
"What do you mean? What opportunity?"
"The president knew me."
"Of course he knew you. Most of Blue Cosmos does."
"No, that's not what I mean." She released her grip then, taking a few steps backwards to look at him. "I mean, he was linked to BC in the past, yes, but more than that, he was my doctor when I was little."
"When you were little?" he echoed and Namarra nodded, but gave an audible confirmation a moment later.
"Yes, but that's all I'm willing to get into right now. I've typed everything up for Lexi and I need you to take it to her. Given, a lot of it is bullet points, but I'll add more details when I get back."
She watched his face and noted his eyebrow raise in suspicion, disappearing behind his long bangs. "Is this about what I think it's about?"
"Yes."
He sighed, his head moving away from her direction to another part of the room. His eyes closed, which was an odd movement for him because since his eyes had been repaired, he had often kept them open when he was speaking to others, Namarra assuming it had to do with old muscle memory. The movement made her worry, making him look wounded or at least tired. "Lathan, are you okay?" she asked, reaching out and lightly touching his right arm.
"Yeah," he replied quickly, his eyes slowly opening again as they turned back towards her. "I think it's just because I'm tired, but I feel like I'm forgetting something."
"Forgetting something? Like what? You mean you left something at Sora? I can pick it up—"
"No, nothing like that," he clarified, shaking his head and patting her hand on his arm. "I don't know how to explain it. I think I'm just overly paranoid right now."
"Go and get some rest. I don't think you have to leave for the airport for another three hours or so. You've been through a lot, Lathan," she said simply and the feeling from before returned and her heart skipped. "Everything's going to be okay—it'll work out." The words fell from her tongue before she had a chance to really digest the feeling behind them and she closed her eyes, a pain shooting across her forehead again. She shook off the moment just as he nodded and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion once more before finally relaxing.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he said with a final breath. "Can you give me that data for Lexi now? I'll pack it before we forget about it."
"Ah, sure," she replied, tapping him twice on the arm as she walked over to her suitcase, fished out a flashdrive, stuck it in her computer, and began transferring the info. "Oh, Lathan, I think you need to take a look at Chicabo."
"Why? What did you do?" he asked suspiciously, his bite making her roll her eyes at how protective he could often be of his "babies."
"Nothing, I just think some of the programming is off or something. I remembered my Scandinavian culture while you were away and, for some reason, Chicabo hasn't handled it really well. I haven't really been able to interact with her much at all lately. It would be great, actually, if she could know Swedish so that I can converse in that with her too."
"Swedish—wait, what? That's odd, the CAs know multiple languages," he started, his right hand going to the stubble at his chin as he stroked it in thought. She smiled, happy to see him back to his old self even if it seemed like he was far more sympathetic to the health of his AIs than his own predicament. She removed the flashdrive and walked back over to him, grabbing his left hand and putting the device in his palm. "I wonder if, in a panic, Chicabo tried to recalibrate and actually screwed itself over…" he continued, nodding a thanks for the device. "Huh, I didn't think it was that intuitive. How interesting."
"You can look at it when you get back, if you feel up to it right away. Chicabo's currently with Erika at Morgenroete. Well, the mainframe is. They took it out of the Decay."
He nodded slowly, but then started shaking his head immediately. "I might need to think on what to do a little bit more and I'll definitely need Addict's help. You'll be fine without it for a time then?"
"Chicabo? Yeah, I think I'll manage."
Lathan smiled and Namarra matched the look, the two of them hearing the bathroom door open and Athrun step out during the wordless exchange. Namarra went in for a brief hug before Lathan retreated, even going on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek just before she let go. "Welcome back, Lathan."
"It's good to be back."
Athrun watched Lathan come back in, briefly locking eyes with Namarra before the door closed behind him. He wasn't ready to talk to her just yet and he was happy to see both of them had realized as much.
"Sorry about that," he began instead, turning back to Lathan. "You probably want to clean up and I kind of just stormed off."
"No worries, a lot going on right now and we've all been around each other long enough to be able to handle an outburst or two." He shrugged and Athrun felt himself relax at the gesture, happy to have the older Coordinator back. He always seemed to play the buffer role well and had a far more level head than the two females they often found themselves working with. It was a welcomed change and even more so when he knew Lathan wouldn't hold his outburst against him. Perhaps being Lexi's brother had made him a bit more understanding to any misdirected fury.
"You're right though," Lathan continued. "I would like to freshen up. How much time do we have?"
"We got…" Athrun pulled his sleeve back slightly to look at the watch at his wrist. "We have a few hours yet before we need to start thinking about leaving. Colonel Kisaka and Waltfeld should be touching down within the next couple of hours too, so we'll get to see them briefly before we leave."
"Oh, bringing over the big guns?"
"That was the plan," Athrun said with a sigh, reaching over behind him towards the bed to grab the collar of his suit jacket with one hand as the other snagged the tie. "One of them will stay here for the duration of my reservation and the other found a place closer to Sora BIO."
"Have you switched over the tickets yet? Or changed the reservation? I can—"
"I have it under control, Lathan, don't worry about it." He tossed both items on his closed suitcase wedged between the bed and the wall separating the main room from the bathroom. His tie had landed awkwardly and he frowned as he watched it slide to the floor. The defeated way it slipped down just seemed to mimic his mood more than he would care to admit and he looked away in an effort to not connect emotionally with a piece of clothing. "Just go freshen up and then we can talk about whether I need some help with the admin," he continued.
"You're sure?"
Athrun smiled through his poor luck and walked over to put a comforting hand on Lathan's shoulder when the older Coordinator still looked concerned. "Seriously, you're the last person who needs to be worrying about anything right now." That comment made Lathan sigh at least, a slight grin of thanks lighting his lips after a moment.
"Fine. Tell me one thing though, Lexi isn't honestly in the hospital, is she? I was surprised to see you here with Nam and not her."
"Well, yes and no…" Athrun started, squeezing his hand on Lathan's shoulder when he felt him tense. "I can either let you in on the whole tale or you can wait to hear it from her."
"You think she'll tell me the whole truth?"
"Maybe," Athrun admitted and Lathan sighed.
"Fair enough. Just update me on the specifics so I know whether to be angry at her recklessness or thankful she's alive."
"More thankful than angry, I think, but go freshen up first. I'll sort the tickets and then I'll catch you up on what you missed." Lathan nodded with a shrug, leaving Athrun's side to make his way to the other side of the room, finding his small bag of belongings—more like the bag that Sora had packed and provided for him—propped in the room's only lounge chair and slipping something inside. Athrun watched him carefully and his eyes wandered to the door between the rooms. Namarra must have given him something; probably something to give to Lexi. The Coordinator sighed and threw his hands up.
"Stop worrying about it," Lathan said before Athrun's internal dialogue could do the same. "There's some information the girls need to digest and make sense of first before they bring us in. It's been like that since the war, so I advise you don't start taking it personally now."
"You clearly handle it a lot better than I do," Athrun grumbled, deciding not to comment on Lathan's intuitiveness.
"They trust us, and I know, deep down, you trust them, so just stop second guessing it, would ya? They got it under control."
Athrun absently wondered if he would have the same feeling once he updated him on the Phoebe escapade, but let the sour thought slide, heaving a sigh as he walked over to the desk and his computer, turning it on before sitting. "When they start trusting me a little bit more, I'll do the same. At this particular moment, I'm not a huge fan of their version of teamwork."
"We all navigate it differently, I suppose. I'm not worried so much about their sharing ability as the future, so I just try to keep that in mind."
It was an interesting way to word the statement and Athrun looked away from his computer at the older Coordinator, watching and listening to him use his phone to leaf through the clothing he had on hand. The phone would tell him what bit of clothing was in his hand and he nodded when he found what he wanted, gathering the items in a pile on the bed to his right. If Lexi's own blood could be okay with being that far removed from any new information they might gather, perhaps he could as well. Or, as Lathan had suggested, find a different way to navigate it. Both Waltfeld and Lathan often forced their way in for information. Perhaps it was about time he started doing the same.
"Hey, I have a question for you and Kira," Lathan said before Athrun's resolve could go any further.
"Hm?"
"Well, I might have been required to give back that seeing device, but you can bet your life that I stole any schematics I could for it," Lathan said, his right eye dropping into a wink that Athrun was beginning to think was quickly becoming a character trait despite his lack of sight.
"Well, I never expected you to leave that situation quietly," Athrun admitted with a small laugh, slipping his left arm up to rest on the back of the chair as he turned more comfortably to speak to him. "Though that's a bit bold even for you."
Lathan snorted and stood briefly before falling backwards to sit on the bed, shifting his fresh clothing to his lap. "Courtesy was out the window fairly quickly into that relationship and the side effects were rough, but—I have to admit—it was nice to see again. Didn't think I'd… miss it until I saw you guys in that boardroom." He gave a small smile and his head dipped down to look towards his bag. "I guess I didn't realize you would both look different."
"Different? How so?"
Lathan shrugged. "Older, I guess. At least Nam definitely did. You just have longer hair, which you should probably cut."
"Huh?" Athrun blinked, taken aback by the comment and his fingers instantly went to his head, pulling out a strand and judging how far it pulled away from his head. "You think?"
"Meh, depends on the look you're going for."
He dropped the strand of hair and repeated the ritual once more before shrugging. "Is this the big topic you wanted to discuss with Kira and I?"
He gave a small laugh and shook his head. "Sorry, it all took me by surprise, I guess—still digesting. Since I have the info though, I was thinking of combining it with what I had already been working on. Can you two help me put it together?"
"Sure, but shouldn't we bring in Erika too? She's way more experienced than we are."
"Thought about that, but I think you guys are better with smaller devices than her." He paused and gave a slight shrug. "You're also better at taking directions."
Athrun laughed at that and shook his head. "I'm sure we can help you out. I need to fix Mr. Pink first, but then you can boss me around."
"Mr. Pink? What happened to it?"
"It's connected to what happened with Lexi and let's just say he's about to become 'Sir' Pink for his valiant services to the crown." Lathan cocked his head to the side, his face turning towards him and Athrun laughed again, though it was a strained sound that time. Lathan didn't seem to miss the change in tone and his concern prompted Athrun to follow up the comment with a "don't worry."
"To be honest," Lathan began slowly, his eyes closing as his fingers went to tap his chin. "I've been debating this for a while, but didn't think you'd be up for it." Shrugging, his gaze turned back towards Athrun and his eyes opened once more, a twinkle of mischief in those clouded orbs. "Did you want to make Pink more intelligent? Or maybe just 'advanced' would be the best word for it."
"What do you mean?" Athrun asked, his lips dipping into a frown as he matched the sightless gaze suspiciously.
"Well, I had begun trying to replicate the CA system and while not a complete copy, I do have a version that's pretty close to Addict at its opening stages. Given, I had been using Addict to produce it and that system has become quite protective of itself, so I'm not sure how complete the version is just yet." Lathan rolled his eyes and shook his head, the only thing calming Athrun's nerves about the CA's protective tendencies being the small, but still proud parent of a smile on Lathan's lips. "When completed—and I'm not one hundred percent sure here—it could grow to be a mini-Addict and Chicabo."
"And you're suggesting putting that into Mr. Pink?"
"Sir Pink." Athrun frowned at the correction and when he didn't immediately respond, Lathan added, "It doesn't have to be the Haro, you know. I have other ideas for the program, but I do find the concept amusing."
"Amusing is a word for it," Athrun muttered and Lathan laughed.
"If your not-so-subtle hints are any indication, Lacus might need a little 'sentient sidekick' of her own, but that just might be me reading too much into it."
Athrun sighed and waved his left hand, his wrist bending against the back of the chair as he gave a short laugh. "Later; we'll talk shop later. Go get freshened up. I still need to deal with the tickets."
"Fine, though the fact that I've managed to pique your interest about a 'thinking Haro' definitely makes me nervous about hearing the full story."
"It's not a great tale, no, but there is a happy ending." Both sighed that time and Lathan got to his feet, finding his way around the bed and heading towards the bathroom with his phone in his hand. "I put a towel out on the sink next to the soap and the shampoo," Athrun continued before he had gotten too far. "Soap is on the left."
"Thanks, I appreciate it. I think I'll do the bulk of my grooming when we get back home, but it's nice to feel a little bit fresher now."
"I bet." Athrun shifted and grabbed the desk to pull himself forward as Lathan walked past, moving to let him finish the trek to the bathroom and close the door. Athrun waited until he heard the shower start running before he released a breath and turned to look back at his computer. He glanced at the clock on the computer as he fished the phone out of his pocket and gave a small nod. It was getting late in Orb, but he should be able to catch Lexi and at least give her the good news. Bringing up her contact info, he pressed "Send" and listened to it ring two times before he heard it cut off. Blinking, he looked back at the screen. Had the call dropped? Based on his strong signal, that definitely wasn't the case. He tried again to the same outcome and he frowned.
He brought up Cagalli's number instead and was happy when she picked up after one ring.
"Hey," she said simply. The rumble of voices sounded muffled around her and he paused, the idea of her being in a crowd surprising him. He had expected her to be at the main estate settling in for the evening, not out on the town. He checked the time once more before responding.
"Hey," he replied back. "Where are you?"
"Lexi and I are dropping off Yzak. She's inside with him right now."
"Ah," was all he could say, now feeling guilty for having pestered her before. "I was just trying to get a hold of her, actually."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, Lathan and I will be grabbing a plane tonight and should touch down back in Orb by…" he paused as he did some math, "probably around 1300 your time tomorrow."
"Really?" The excitement in her voice made him smile, glad he could relay her some good news for a change. It seemed like it had been a long time since he had heard that elation, especially since things had started getting tense at home. Orb had been hit hard during the war and while reconstruction was steadily moving forward, the families were split on where a lot of the funding and resources should be allotted. Cagalli was pushing for military advancement alongside residential reconstruction to continue her father's narrative that Orb needed to fight for its beliefs. That was, however, not a popular opinion and only one other family was supporting her in that, the Sahaku, who had been severely affected by the past war and whose survival was dependent on only a couple of members. There were rumors the family was going to be transitioned out of the government and a new family take their place, but since that had never been done before, any story written about the event at the moment was mere gossip. If the family did leave, there was the possibility that Cagalli would be alone and all funding, most likely, funneled primarily to local reconstruction.
Science didn't stop, unfortunately, and even Athrun was afraid of the repercussions of slowing military advancement more than it already had been since the war's end. Hermes was meant to enforce Cagalli's narrative and they had been playing peacekeeper fairly well so far, but if Cagalli couldn't spin the narrative in her favor, Athrun's pet project and Orb technological edge might be moot by year's end. Many engineers were already losing jobs or fleeing to places that would make better use of their talents.
Cagalli hid the pain of that responsibility well, Athrun knew, so even that small bit of excitement was a slip through her façade and he gave a soft chuckle at the genuineness of the sound. It was nice to have given her one less thing to worry about.
Shrugging the phone up against his left ear, he brought up the flight information and began typing in the adjustments to the reservations. "Yeah. Any chance you could make sure a car is there to pick us up? And, if at all possible, no press?"
"Car I can do; the press bit I can try, but I'll make no promises. The media's still fairly sympathetic towards the Rymyrs and I know Lexi'll insist on meeting you both at the gate. The popularity's messed up her personal relations a bit in Orb too, unfortunately. The only thing I can say for sure is that while they're trying really hard to play it off as nothing, Yzak's already found his way into gossip columns on a couple of occasions and they've been on damage control since she's left the hospital. Even now, watching them is, in a word, awkward."
Athrun frowned, not liking the sound of that. He had been the one tasked with keeping their relationship out of the limelight and, while perhaps no fault of his own, their rather secret relationship was not-so-secret anymore and in no small thanks to Phoebe. Or, at least, in Orb it wasn't. "Any chance we can try to make sure their 'affair,' so to speak, stays on Orb soil? I'd hate for this to follow them up to the PLANTs."
"I'll see what I can do, but Lexi's not even Lexi in the PLANTs, is she? I thought she was playing as someone else because her real name might cause a stir up there? Ugh, I don't know—our lives are so complicated." She paused with a groan and Athrun couldn't disagree. "Should be okay," she continued. "But I think some things might trickle through, unfortunately. I don't see either's reputation coming out unscathed from this, at least around here. Might have to up outings of ALexi though to stave off too much suspicion and keep the tabloids off your back who are keen to get your opinion on the affair."
Athrun sighed and Cagalli did the same, but most likely for different reasons. Cagalli probably because that meant the two of them had to be extra careful if Dino might be in the spotlight for a bit, and Athrun because he knew it would take a pretty juicy spectacle to undo the drama that Yzak had brought with him. Depending on how they wanted to play it, it would probably either end up with a steamy make-up or a complete break-up. Either way, it just sounded exhausting.
"Ugh, you know what? Just, forget that. I'm sick of navigating public relations for a while. Let's just the two of us go somewhere for a bit. See if you can find a way to leave and I'll play bodyguard. Let's worry about ALexi and all of the tabloids later."
"Vacation, huh?" Cagalli mused aloud. "That's a rare suggestion by you."
"Well, I'm in a rare mood, I suppose. What do you think?" As she churned it over, he went to finishing up the plane tickets, starting with his and then opening a new page to purchase Lathan's last-minute ticket just as her voice returned on the other end of the line.
"I might have to work a little while we're away, but the Athha family has a place out in the country we could disappear to for a long weekend or so."
"Done," he said quickly, eager to take advantage of the moment while he was still feeling confident in his decision.
"We'll need to bring some other people though in order to push away suspicion… And you know Yuna's going to ask questions."
"I've been bodyguard for both of you at events plenty of times. I don't think he'll argue too hard, do you?"
"I think he's picking up on more than we realize."
"Well, then we'll turn it into a group thing. Whatever we need to do, Cags, I don't mind. Just sign me up." He heard the smile in her voice then and he matched suit again, shifting the phone to his right ear when he leaned to grab his wallet.
"I'm… actually looking forward to this," she said slowly and he paused, his fingers stopping in his wallet as he was reaching for his card. Her hesitation said a lot and he was catching onto every subtle signal. His smile faltered and he sighed, making it as silent as he could while he finished grabbing the card. Yup, he was definitely taking her away on a holiday.
She needed to come first for a while.
"Me too, Cags," he said, making sure she could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Really looking forward to it."
CE 72 May 23, Orb (Evening)
Lexi took a breath and glanced off to her left, catching the camera lens of a photographer standing over near the luggage racks and the family of six staring over in her direction. Wincing, she looked away, hopefully before the media was able to get off a shot of her face and her eyes fell on Yzak's very unamused expression. Frowning, he stood in front of her with his arms crossed, the gates to the other half of the terminal looming just as ominously behind him. He was wearing his navy, lightweight jacket unzipped to keep off the night chill and the front of his white T-shirt poking through near his impatiently tapping finger. His stance matched the annoyed gesture, his lighter blue trousers pristine but he leaned off to the side, his right foot taking the brunt of his weight as his left shifted impatiently near the suitcase next to him.
"I don't know why you're seeing me off if this is such a bad idea," he grumbled, not following her motion towards the camera.
She gave a weak smile, her left hand slipping into the back pocket of her black trousers as she crossed her right foot behind her left, the closed toe of her white and navy flats scraping against the tiled floor. She shrugged, her grey, long-sleeved button-up blouse bouncing with the movement.
"Some things are more important than public relations," she said simply and gave a weak smile, but ended up wincing when she heard another camera go off behind her near what she knew to be a couple of smaller shops.
"Clearly," was his response and he sighed, looking up and over her shoulder. "I'm quickly remembering why I don't normally leave the PLANTs."
"Aw, it wasn't that bad, was it?" She tried to sound playful and forced a more genuine smile on her lips, but when his eyes slowly moved back to hers, she shivered. "Don't be like that…"
He sighed and looked to his right, avoiding her, it seemed like. "When you coming up?"
"After Nam and Lathan get back, I should think. Hoping to get an update from Dino any minute—" Her phone buzzed in her purse and the brace across her right palm helped swing the bag around to her front, her left hand reaching into the small pocket on the side to pull out the device and see the screen. Her breath caught and she looked at Yzak first, his eyes on her phone before they were on hers and he shrugged.
"It's probably important," he muttered and looked away with a small sigh. She frowned. He understood what was going on, knew the severity of the situation, and had definitely been the hero of the less-than perfect vacation, but she couldn't blame him for his frustrated expression. He had been nothing but understanding since he had arrived and getting the phone call then just seemed to compound on his generosity.
She pressed the side button on the phone, ignoring the call and putting it back in her bag.
Yzak cocked his eyebrow and she shrugged. "If it's important he'll—" The phone went off again and they both frowned that time, Lexi closing her eyes as she sighed and pulled out the phone again. Sure enough, the screen said: Alex Dino.
"Just take it. I'll head to the gate now and we can avoid this." He untucked his right hand to wave it between them. "Whatever this is."
Sighing, she ignored the call again.
"Seriously, I'm just trying to somehow get us out of this situation. If you keep ignoring the phone call I can't just turn and walk away."
"That was your plan?"
He shrugged. "It's not a horrible one."
She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I really am. Just poor timing."
"I'm beginning to think our entire relationship is poor timing…"
She tensed, feeling the pain in her right palm as her fingers tried to mimic her left and ball into a fist. That was the first time she had ever heard something like that from him and that was including their shouting matches. No, their relationship wasn't perfect and even if this particular holiday hadn't exactly been ideal, they had still done their best to salvage it. Surely, he was just frustrated. He didn't really think that.
…Right?
"What does that mean?" she spat.
He flushed slightly at her words, his expression changing quickly to apologetic and she felt a little bit of her fear chip away. "Sorry, didn't mean that the way it sounded. I'm just… a bit exhausted by it all, I suppose. Kinda came out without thinking."
"So, you do feel it to some degree otherwise you wouldn't have said it."
"Honestly, Lexi, this just hasn't really been what I was expecting."
"I did warn you," she grumbled and he sighed.
"I know. It'll just take me a bit, I think. Maybe I need to get back to being busy again, or maybe just a drink." He paused and smiled lightly that time, the look finally calming Lexi enough to match it. "Let me know when you're heading back up."
"Of course. You're my first stop as soon as I know everyone's safe."
Smiling, they both leaned in for a quick goodbye kiss, but stopped halfway through, opening their eyes and blushing before they remembered the situation. Taking a step back they waved quickly at each other and pivoted, hurrying away to their respective exits.
CE 68 Scandinavia
"Bullshit," Djibril said, tossing the report down on top of a folder on desk in front of him. His horsetail scraped against the back of his white buttoned-up shirt as he turned to look out the window behind him, his suit jacket draped over the back of the chair near his left side. They were off base, but not far from it, holed up in the best accommodations the military could muster on such short notice. News of Kai's death had put them both on planes and the scene they had arrived to, while still better than the tale they had heard of the failed escape, was not a positive one. The Legund girl was unstable and instead of one attachment, she now had three, which should have hindered Azrael's future plans, but his mind was already buzzing with the prospects.
He could be flexible when needed.
The two gentlemen had commandeered a smaller office for that particular afternoon, the floorspace wide enough for nothing more than a desk and two chairs—two very uncomfortable chairs that were probably feeding into Djibril's foul mood. Azrael didn't mind the circumstances, but he knew his colleague did and he watched him carefully, leaning to his left on the armrest, rubbing his fingers against his chin. The fabric of the blond's suit jacket crinkled with the movement, his left leg bouncing furiously as his right was crossed over the knee.
"We had a feeling the rumors were true. Well, at least I did," Azrael began, his eyes shifting down to the folder Djibril had tossed there. "I have reliable sources who had confirmed the child's episode was genuine and not some Morgenroete scam."
"They're so reliable they couldn't even tell you the sex? Or the name?" the other man spat, his attention still out the window. There wasn't much to look at, but somehow Azrael figured he wasn't so much enjoying the scenery as looking at his reflection. Annoyingly observing the frustrations creasing his fair face.
Azrael sighed. "Sure, that bit is unfortunate, but they had no reason to lie." Djibril didn't respond and the blond shifted, sitting so both elbows were now on the armrests and his hands clasped in his lap. "I think you're missing the significance of this knowledge. This child in Orb is the real one. So, what do we have?"
"I'm not so eager to jump on this narrative like you are, Murata. Orb wouldn't know what a Berserker was if it bit them in the ass. Their researchers are so obsessed with SEEDs anyway they probably just misunderstood a slight blip in their own data." Djibril scowled once at his reflection and turned back to the desk, pushing the report off to the side to reveal the folder beneath. "They're just throwing darts and seeing which ones stick."
"Are you suggesting Orb experimented on a child to prove whether it has a SEED or not?" Azrael asked, his voice sounding a bit more interested than he had intended, but it wasn't far from how he felt. His contact had been someone in the research facility, yes, but he hadn't flirted with the idea that Orb would go so far as to harm the child.
"Of course not," he spat, his fingers curling under the rim of the folder as his eyes slid up to lock with Azrael's. "And stop smiling."
The blond lifted his shoulders in a shrug, running his tongue across his upper row of teeth before his lips opened with a light smack. "So, if you don't believe it, you think we have the real one? You think the Legunds forced the cycle?"
"I think that's far more logical, yes," Djibril said simply and opened the flap on the manila folder, scattering the papers out onto his desk. There was a lot of research there, Azrael knew, seeing the pages of graphs, the accompanying text, and their worn edges, which proved Djibril believed the report from Orb far more than he was letting on. No one who knew they were right would be looking for a reason they were wrong.
"The text on those pages say otherwise."
"I'm more interested in what's being said between the text, Murata. There's nothing here that says she fake."
"I thought you were a man of science and numbers, Djibril? How does someone like that latch onto the dream around the narrative instead of what's clearly being read to them?"
"You believe it then, I take it?"
Azrael shrugged, his head angling to the side. "Of course."
"And yet you smile."
"There's much to be smiling about," he began, keeping the grin on his lips that time and leaning forward, elbows on his knees. "You're missing the bigger picture here, Djibril. We might have a fake, but we did it. This is the answer. It's not drugs, it's this method right here." He pointed down at the research on the desk.
"Implantation?"
Azrael was nodding right away, but he gradually slowed as he watched Djibril's face. The other man wasn't convinced and his scowl said as much.
"Too long," he said.
"You're in a hurry?"
"We need results now and the drugs are the closest thing that works."
"To a fairly fruitless end."
"For now," Djibril agreed. "But maybe it would be more fruitful if we had this 'real one.'" His mouth churned with the words and Azrael followed his gaze to the now buried report. So, he did have doubts after all.
"You want to make a play for the Orbite?"
"I'm just entertaining the idea, if I'm honest. This could still all be a Red Herring and just a really pissed off pre-teen. It's often hard to tell they're real until the Berserker is much older. The conscious hasn't formed yet."
"Neither has ours."
"Not yet, no, but the signs are there," was the honest reply and that was the first hint Azrael could see of a smile. He couldn't help but matching it.
Reaching out, he put a finger on the research, swishing one piece of paper back and forth across the desk. "You know, she's real if there's no proof she's not."
Djibril shook his head. "Word of the Orbite has spread throughout the program and we already have possible defectors. The biggest hurdle right now is making sure no one leaves with specimen samples." He paused and picked up one of the pages of research, his eyes following the text as he leaned back against the desk. Azrael watched him for another moment, gradually seeing his confidence shrink into a scowl until Djibril gave a frustrated sigh, flicking the page to float back down onto the desk. "Science went into the creation of our specimen. I suppose there's no denying it."
"Yes, there is that." Azrael shrugged, his finger still twirling the sheet against the desktop as his eyes followed the decent of the other page. "But I'm willing to read between the lines and if there are no lines remaining anymore…" He trailed off and shrugged. "Besides, how eager are we to share that we've done the impossible? I want more Berserkers in this world, yes, but I'm not about to make it easier for others to figure it out." He shrugged again. "At least not yet."
"It is true you're not a very good sharer," Djibril said with a quiet chuckle, pushing off the desk to stare at his reflection in the window once more. "If we keep the Legund girl's creation under wraps and continue her parents' research, our rivals, shall we say, might get distracted by the other one. We'll be well along by then."
"And what if the other one is real?"
Djibril shrugged. "Then we can make a play, I suppose. Might even send Legund to do it."
"Send a copycat up against the real thing? Those are some cruel odds," Azrael mused, leaning back in his seat and bringing the one piece of paper with him. He looked at the contents carefully, noting the bar graph and its explanation below.
"Only time will tell."
Azrael smiled again, his grin long and wide as he tore the page apart once, twice, and then two more times before tossing the contents off to his right, idly watching the pieces flitter to the floor.
"Yes, time is definitely on our side."
A/N: Another year, another month, another week, another chapter. Happy 2021, everyone. I hope that returning to the daily grind hasn't been too horrible and I'd like to thank you for stopping by. After the emotional bombshell that was last chapter, I admit I struggled getting this one out. I've also lost my pool of chapters, so while I still plan on keeping to my "update every two to three weeks" declaration, it might be a bit harder than I had anticipated. I apologize in advance if I should ever slip from that schedule.
This is the last chapter for Namarra's past, so I hope you all enjoyed a peek into her origin story, as it were. There's always more I would have loved to write about during her younger years and some of those snippets might come up in memories, but as for separate, in-depth sections, this is where we say goodbye. I wish I could say her childhood was a happy one, but—sadly—that was not the case. I hope this at least gives you all a better view into the mind of the young spitfire.
Speaking of last chapter, I'd like to thank those who had sent me any thoughts concerning Kai's death and other reveals. I really appreciate your ideas and words! Also, thank you, if you are out there reading. If you want to say something, please feel free and I'm sorry if I sound a little bit needy. At the end of the day, I just want to make sure I'm meeting expectations and not letting anyone down, so, perhaps, no response means I'm doing fine? I'll take it as that. XD
Anyway, enough wallowing. More drama and romance coming up in the next chapters and something that everyone just needs: relaxation. We'll see what everyone does with their time off and if anyone has any suggestions, let me know! I'll be migrating into a whole bunch of different POVs, so if there's someone you want to see/jump into the mind of, pop me a message.
Special thanks to my beta, Death-Scimitar, for her help with this chapter and for reminding me that not every chapter needs to make people cry...
Corrections to the Narrative:
Nothing of note for this chapter.
Questions/Gripes:
Nothing of note this time.
Shameless Recommendations:
Still shamelessly recommending some other reads. If you have an extra moment or two, be sure to check them out:
1. Anything by Death-Scimitar – Yes, a Beta of mine, but if you're lucky enough to have a Beta who is also a kick-ass writer, I'd say you struck gold. Nothing in SEED, per se, but she does have a crossover in the works that involves 5 famous pilots from Gundam Wing and some lucky (or unfortunate?) individuals who run a host club. Check it out if you're interested and know that you will not be disappointed.
2. Anything by Maderfole – He's the writer of the epic Golden Age Trilogy which is, arguably, one of the best Gundam fics on this site (and, yes, I'm probably a bit bias). The series is currently on book 3 and the newest chapter is now up! The haitus is done! Be sure to check it out and enjoy the nearly 3.5 million words of epic Gundam-ness before you get to that point.
3. Anything by Asmus – Another one for the SEED stories who is definitely one of the better writers on this site (again, I might be bias) and I highly recommend anything he's done. He just started a new story, actually, that takes place in Maderfole's universe. You don't have to be terribly acquainted with the Golden Age Trilogy to read it, so I recommend you check it out. Things are definitely starting to heat up.
4. Anything by Quiet0ne – New SEED author on FF with her story, Scattered Seeds. This is another story that plays around with the idea of the SEED Factor and genetics in the SEED universe and while only just starting, I can see we're all in for quite the roller-coaster ride. Tantalizing plot movement so far and some priceless interactions between our favorite characters. Loving every moment of it and I hope you do too.
Thanks again for stopping by to read. I'm looking forward to writing more of Serenade in 2021 and a huge thank you out there for anyone accompanying me on this journey.
Strata