Gerard and I have cooled down quite a bit after our impromptu dinner. The rest of the week was spent in seclusion at work and mostly ignoring non-work calls. Kate invited Elliot to Christmas with her family in Aspen, she invited me, but I opted to stay home. Gerard brought up his orphan dinner again, but I would rather have gone on Kate's family trip before pushing myself into meeting random people and mingling. At least I knew Kate's family.

Most of my colleagues started their winter breaks a week before Christmas so the office was dead. I like the peaceful quiet that this gave me, and even though I don't have much work to do since I completed my marathon of campaigns, I enjoyed the routine. It allowed me to catch up on some projects that I put on the back burner for the launches I had to oversee in the last few weeks. I've been working on my spring/summer projects in November, and I wanted to start focusing on those before the end of the new year.

It was mid-afternoon on December 23, and I was reading through the work my copy editor had written for some launches in the Spring. It made me crave a cottage in Nantucket. I don't usually do this, but I looked up rentals on the tiny island. They looked like homes you would find in one of the Hallmark romance movies. I fell in love. Without even thinking I booked a two-week stay in a home that overlooked the water with a long dock that led to the beach. There was even a beautiful fire pit and grilling area on the expansive patio and a gorgeous hot tub area on the lower deck. I was lucky enough to have the right frame of mind to book it when being on the East Coast was probably the best option, location-wise anyway. At least, I could work remotely and not have to travel from coast to coast every couple of days.

For the first time, I was completely ecstatic and had something to look forward to. I've worked every day for the last five years with no breaks other than statutory holidays. My therapist told me that I should take some time for myself and go on a vacation. I'm not quite ready to do that but feel like this is a good first step.

I felt my desk buzz, and I looked down and saw that Gerard was calling me. I can't lie, I felt a bit disappointed.

"Hi, Gerard," I answer.

"Hi, Ana. How are you doing?" he coos.

"I'm doing okay, still working. How are you?"

"Why are you still working? It's almost Christmas, have you thought about that dinner with my friends."

Ugh. Not this again.

"We've talked about this before, Gerard…"

"I know, I know, you are busy," he replies, exasperated.

"It has nothing to do with you, Christmas is hard for me. I kind of just want a couple of days to decompress."

"And you can do that with me, no?"

"I asked you a couple of days ago if you wanted to hang out on both Christmas Eve and Day, but you said you were too busy. I don't want to spend the weekend with strangers."

"I do not care. Christmas is Christmas and we must spend it together."

"It's just a day, Gerard," I sigh.

"Then, it should not matter if you spend it with me or alone. I have told everyone that you are coming to this dinner."

"GERARD!" I exclaim. "You had no right and that is completely unfair. You're not going to manipulate me into coming."

"Then, I guess you don't want to be with me."

"Oh, so you're going to break up with me if I don't come to your dinner? That's ridiculous."

"I know many other people who would love to be my guest."

"Wow."

"That's not what I meant…"

"Goodbye, Gerard," I reply in a clipped tone and hung up. What a dick.

All I wanted was a quiet weekend and not one full of drunk strangers. Is that too much to ask?

My phone kept ringing, but I ended up just putting it on mute. I don't want another aggravating conversation. I'm not that interested in relationships right now if it's going to be like that.

Annoyed by everything, I shut down my computer and decided to start my holidays a bit early. I turned on my outgoing out-of-office message and packed up my desk, I rinsed out my mug and dish from lunch and then disinfected my desk. At least my office will be clean for the new year. I packed up my laptop and got ready to step into the dreary Seattle winter day. Rather than a white Christmas, we were accustomed to constant rainfall, which wasn't too bad considering I'm partial to staying upright.

I walked across the empty desks and started closing up, it had become my annual tradition to close up the office since I'm usually the last one out of here most nights anyway. I thought about picking up some groceries for the rest of the week because I didn't have much in the way of food, but the thought of trying to shop in any store seemed like chaos. Although, it would be even worse if I went shopping tomorrow or Christmas day. I steeled my resolve and popped into the grocery store near my place. I gathered the necessities of some fresh fruit and veggies and then hightailed it out of there.

When I finally got home and into some more comfortable clothes, I decided to do some yoga. Instead of actively trying to lose weight, I've been trying to get into the frame of mind that it's okay that I'm maintaining, and I don't need to see the scale to move. I'm trying to accept that I will never be a size zero and that's not what my body is supposed to look like. I feel like I've been dieting all my life and it felt like a prison. With the help of my therapist and a nutritionist, I've been working on that. As I'm trying to get healthy mentally, I want to get there physically, too.

Just one step at a time.

I made myself some chicken, roasted veggies, and mashed potatoes for dinner. I intended to tuck into a quick dinner and some old Christmas movies, but I was interrupted by my front door alarm.

"Hello?" I greeted. I wasn't expecting anyone, so this was a bit strange.

"Ana, it's me Christian," the muffled voice on the other end replied.

"Hey, come on up," I reply, pressing the button letting him in.

I poke my head by the door and watched him walk out of the elevator.

"Hey, stranger," I call out.

"Hey, you," he beams, "I thought you were dead."

"Nope, still alive," I replied, "come in."

"Thanks," he stepped in. "I tried calling you but no answer."

"Oh shit, I forgot my phone was on mute," I grimace. I quickly grab it from my laptop bag. There were 27 missed calls and 52 texts, oh my god.

I quickly go through my call log, 25 from Gerard and 2 from Christian.

49 texts from Gerard and the rest from Kate and Christian. Holy. I panicked a bit from seeing all of those calls from Gerard. I felt like I was a child about to get into trouble.

It's only been a couple of hours.

"Are you okay?" Christian asks.

"It's nothing, Gerard and I got into a fight and he blew up my phone."

"I just wanted to drop off my Christmas present," Christian replies.

"Oh," I sigh, "I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry."

"I didn't buy you a gift expecting anything back," he laughs softly. "I wanted to see you before I headed over to my mom's for Christmas and when you didn't answer, I figured I would try you before I headed out."

"Does your family know about us-?"

"Reconnecting?" he finishes.

"Yup, exactly," I laugh.

"I told my mom and I expect that my entire family knows by now. Especially, when you have Elliot in the family. There are no secrets," he barks out a laugh.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised," I laugh with him. This was the best part of my day.

"What are you doing for Christmas dinner?"

"Well, I made some chicken and potatoes, so I'll probably eat that for leftovers."

"Ana, c'mon," he laughs, "you can't be serious."

"Christian, I'm one person, I can't make a full Christmas dinner," I deadpan.

"That's fair," he acquiesces.

"I don't have a lot of time, I'm picking up Mia from the train station before we drive to mom's," he replies.

Mia, probably one of my favorite Grey's. She was always so sweet and kind.

"She still has you wrapped around her finger," I tease.

"Yeah, pretty much," he laughs.

"You were always her favourite," I smile. I felt a stab nostalgia, it was always so sweet to see them together.

"You better get going," I reply with just a twinge of sadness. The last real Christmas I had was our last Christmas together with his family.

Christian sticks his hand out, "Before I forget, here's your gift."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," I reply shyly.

"Don't worry about it," he replies, but before he could say another word his phone started ringing. "This must be Mia, may I?"

"Yeah, yeah," I wave at him as I turned to give him a bit of privacy. I put his gift on the kitchen island, trying to give him some space to take his call.

"Mia, I'll be right there, I just had to drop something off… No… why would you… Uh-huh," he groans. I snuck a glance in his direction, he runs his hand through his hair. "I doubt it, Mia. You need to drop it. Fine."

I laugh to myself; things never change.

"Umm, Ana, Mia was asking," Christian calls out, I turned to face him.

"Ana come with us!" I hear her yell through the phone. I bark out a laugh.

"Mia would like to know if you would come with us to Christmas."

I laugh, "No, it's okay."

"Ana doesn't want to go," Christian rolls his eyes and mouths an I'm sorry to me. "Mia, stop it… What do you mean? That is not up to you to decide."

"Are you guys okay?" I ask.

"No, Mia," he grumbles, "Mia wants to talk to you."

"To me? Why me?" I ask perplexed.

He hands his phone to me "I'm sorry, she is not taking any other answer," he apologizes. "You don't have to come."

"It's okay, I'll talk her down," I reply, patting his arm. I take his phone from him, "Hi, Mia."

"ANA!" Mia squeals, "Please come, I haven't seen you in so long! Plus, I've already told my mom and she is extremely excited. Please, please, please!"

I was completely floored at her enthusiasm. "Mia, I can't intrude."

"You're not intruding, it's like coming home! Please, come, please, please, please!"

She was always impossible to talk down when she's made up her mind.

"Mia, this is insane, I can't come with you guys."

"Drop me a pin, I'll come to you! I haven't seen you in so long, don't you want to see me?"

"Of course, I do, but Christmas is hardly the time to catch up."

"No, it's the perfect time. It's like that Christmas song, the one about coming home…."

"There are a million songs about that," I laugh.

"Exactly! Please come!"

"Ugh, fine," I reply. All I heard was a high-pitched squeal.

"YAY! See you guys soon," Mia replies excitedly and hangs up. I bet hoping that I don't change my mind.

"So, you heard that I suppose," I hand his phone to Christian.

"Yup," he shakes his head, "I'm sorry, Ana. You don't have to come; I know you wanted to be alone."

"If you show up without me, I know that Mia will be insufferable," I reply. "I just hope it's not a total imposition for your parents."

"I'm sure they're just as ecstatic," Christian replies sheepishly.

"Oh, no," I feign exasperation but have a small smile on my lips. "I guess I should pack for a couple of days, huh?"

"I'm coming back on the 26th I can drop you off then?"

"Works for me, let me just grab a few things."

I can't believe that I was willingly going to Christmas with Christian and his family. this was completely out of the left field. I looked through my texts from Gerard and they were pretty aggressive, and all alluded to him replacing me.

I text him simply with, I don't like being spoken to like this. I think we both need a bit of space.

He called me immediately.

"Hello," I reply curtly.

"I don't care about your feelings if you don't come with me then I will be taking Lauren."

"If that's what you'd like to do, you're an adult Gerard. I hope you have a lovely Christmas."

I hang up and quickly finish packing some clothes.

"I'm ready," I reply brightly. "Do you mind if we stop by so I can grab your parents a gift of some sort?"

"Of course, let's swing by and grab Mia, then we can pop by somewhere on the way," Christian beams. "I'm really glad that you're coming."

"Me too," I reply, shyly. I feel my blush working its way down from my face to my chest. We pass the kitchen and I'm reminded of my sad dinner, "Oh yeah, I have to put all of this in the fridge."

I quickly package and stow away my food, hopefully, it lasts for three days.

"This was truly unexpected," I break our silence as we head down to his car.

"I know, Mia always gets her way," he answers, "I'm really glad she did this time around."

I didn't answer him, but I was glad that I did too. I felt that same excited feeling every Christmas I spent with the Greys. I put my bag in his trunk and got into the passenger side.

"This feels familiar," I joke, hoping to keep this light. I was on the verge of having a weird freak-out because a massive part of me feels like this is way too much and way too soon.

"Yeah, just like back then," he smiles tightly. He might be feeling the same way. "I think that Mia is going to lose it when she sees you."

"I'm a little scared," I laugh.

"Only rational people would be," he agrees.