Life at Downton provided her with many things; opportunities, comfort, tea in the summer time but it did not provide one with the ability to be whoever you wanted quite like America. This was something that had been circulating inside of Edith's mind. She had always felt English through and through but the more she fell to sleep to the sound of the waves and woke to the bright sky, the more she felt at home. Four weeks away from safe delivery had reduced to three and now two. Only a week into bed rest she felt as if she was a ticking time bomb of restlessness. She yearned to get out and do something, but with her mother the new found drill sergeant she was confined to her room most parts of the day only escaping for tea and dinner. With only one day till her father and sister departed back for their homeland she had woke with the determination to spend the day with her family and not caged in her room. So with her most convincing face pushed to the surface and her best foot put forward she quietly entered her mothers room with whom her father shared during his stay. She found her mother sitting on the window nook that overlooked the side gardens applying lotion to her legs.
"That smells lovely," Edith smiled softly as she walked closer in Cora's direction. In just the short walk to her mother's room she found herself trying to find her breath as she stopped in front of Cora. She tried to steady herself with a few deeper breaths as she soothed her child with gentle circular patterns.
Cora's gazed lifted to Edith as warmth shone through and welcomed her daughter in. "Good morning darling," the raven reached out for Edith's hand as she stood to meet the pregnant mother.
"Good morning Ma'ma," Edith expressed tenderness as she took hold of her mother's soft hands and kissed Cora's cheek in greeting. "I came to discuss something with you." She did her best to hide her shortness of breath and whether or not she liked to admit it, her discomfort as Cora had been fretting over the myriad of things Edith herself considered to be normal in pregnancy. "Well more like strike a deal."
"Here sit down," Cora coaxed as she kept a hold of Edith's hand and motioned for her to take a seat.
"Thank you," Edith dipped her head in appreciation as she accepted her mother's help down. "I never knew sitting down could be such a task," she finally sat with a grunt as her hands fell to her stomach.
"Mhm," Cora hummed in response as she laid her hand on top of Edith's. "How are you feeling, have you felt anything out of the ordinary?"
Edith knew if she faltered in her composure she would never get Cora to agree to anything. "Oh I feel fine Ma'ma, besides all the normal things everything has been delightful."
"I would hardly describe shortness of breath as delightful," Cora answered in confutation to Edith's statement. "AND you thought I wouldn't notice that," she chuckled lightly.
"Ma'ma no more than normal and I am going mad laying around not doing anything," Edith fought back.
"Come now you are so close to having this child in your arms Edith don't chance things now. What is this deal you would like to strike?" Cora patted Edith's leg.
Edith searched Cora's body language almost trying to figure out whether or not it was even worth trying to persuade her mother on the matter. "I want to spend the day with everyone before Pa'pa and Mary leave... I promise I'll rest whenever I feel like I need to but please I can't be cooped up in that room another moment."
Cora could feel Edith was desperate for her to not stand in the way but her motherly instincts were screaming at her to make sure Edith didn't strain herself. "Darling I know you are feeling a little cooped up but is a day of carelessness really worth it when you are so close to having this baby? she questioned with the tilt of her head.
"Ma'ma please I am miserable and the last thing I want to do is miss my family's last day here especially considering I have no idea how soon I will be able to travel back after the birth," Edith refuted as she reached forward to grasp Cora's hands, pleading with her. "I feel perfectly capable and it's not like I am asking to attend a big party it shall just be us today."
Cora narrowed in her gaze on her daughter as she thought carefully what her next words would be. Edith was a grown woman who had to make her own choices and it was not like Cora could force her to stay in her room or make her do anything really (even if Edith failed to realize that). "If I agree to and this and I mean IF, I have a condition."
"Oh thank you Ma'ma!" Edith exclaimed in enthusiasm as she engulfed Cora tightly. "I will do anything to get out of that room."
Cora snickered at this a bit as Edith kissed her cheek again, "You must promise me that you will remain off your feet as much as you can and please stop immediately if it feels like you might be over doing it." She pulled back from her daughter's embrace and squeezed her hands in fervor. "The last thing I want you to do is miss time with your father and sister but you have a responsibility to this child and that is to ensure he or she is safe at all times which in this case means taking care of yourself."
"I promise Ma'ma," Edith nodded in understanding. "I won't overdue it and if anything out of the ordinary happens I will tell you." Edith understood her mothers fear's were not irrational but she knew her own body's limits and felt confidant that as long as she was careful things would remain as they were.
"I mean it Edith," Cora said firmly one last time as Edith went to go stand. "I can't risk losing both my babies."
Edith smiled softly at her mother as she could see the worry and love written across Cora's face. "You won't," she assured and squeezed Cora's hand tightly beginning the movement of trying to stand.
When Edith tried to push herself up and failed Cora stood herself. "See this is what I am talking about, please let us help you." Cora then grabbed one of Edith's arm and put the other on her mid back as she helped pull her to her feet.
"I am sorry it's just that I am still not quite used to not being able to stand on my own," Edith laughed sheepishly.
"It's quite alright darling," Cora looked at Edith knowingly. "Let me get dressed and then I will come with if you like."
After Cora had helped Edith get ready they both began heading down for breakfast as this would be their last day together. Cora walked alongside Edith, linking their arms so Edith had support. "Now go slowly down the stairs," she fretted as she could already see Edith's chest working a little bit harder to draw air in.
"Ma'ma if we were going any slower we would be turtles," Edith joked as she gripped the banister and began her descent.
"Edith love!" Robert beamed as he himself reached the stairs and followed behind his daughter and wife. "Will you be joining us this morning?"
"Good morning," Edith stopped for a moment giving her father a genuine smile. "Yes I finally convinced Ma'ma so you'll have me for the day."
"Well won't that be splendid," he stated more as a spoken thought then a response. Thankfully the staircase in the Newport house was meager compared to the grandiosity of Downton's but even so, Edith found herself a little less energetic by the time they had reached the bottom. If her mother noticed she made no comment as she went to her father's side walking into the dining room.
Rosamund and Mary were already sitting with their plates having what seemed to be quite the interesting discussion when they entered.
"Ah there you are Pa'pa," Mary turned greeting her father. "I was just telling Rosamund about the new estate projects we are planning to take on."
"Yes quite exciting if I do say so myself," Robert replied kissing Mary and Rosamund on the cheek.
As Robert and Mary took off enraptured by their new projects Rosamund, Cora, and Edith all began talking.
"Are you sure you will be alright dear?" Rosamund inquired tenderly as she pushed Edith's curls behind her ear.
"I am the picture of health," Edith said as a matter of fact. "Just unbelievably hungry."
"You sit with your Aunt and I will get a you something to eat," Cora told Edith as she slid her hand softly along Edith's back.
"Thank you Ma'ma," Edith gave Cora a quick smile before she walked away.
"Here Edith dear," Rosamund motioned pulling out the chair next to her. "Let me help you."
Edith then took Rosamund's hand and let her help to ease her down into the seat. Once Edith sat with a soft thump Rosamund took to eating her food once more and joining in on the topic with Robert and Mary. Edith on the other hand began feeling a mild cramp at the base of her abdomen not that she was going to say anything about. It was very minor and was most likely gas.
"Here you go," Cora placed a hand on Edith's shoulder and set the plate of food in front of her.
"Mhm you are so kind Ma'ma," Edith thanked as she did her best to forget the the passing cramp. "It all looks very delicious."
"I quite agree with you. I am feeling rather peckish and this looks most enjoyable," Cora sided with her daughter.
"So Edith do feel ready?" Mary asked from across the table breaking from her current conversation.
Edith paused thinking for a moment while taking a sip of her tea. "I am as ready as I can be... I have everything I need to welcome this child into the world along with two amazing people to be at my side so to all reasonable extent I am quite ready but do I feel ready to be a mother? Not even close," she laughed nervously, subconsciously moving a hand to her belly rubbing soothing circles.
Cora reached out and squeezed her hand in support sensing Edith could most likely use the encouragement.
"What about names? What are you thinking of naming my grandchild?" Robert grinned tugging on Edith's leg.
"I have chosen to keep that piece of information to myself till his or hers arrival so you will just have to wait and see," Edith toyed enjoying withholding the already picked out names.
"That is most unfair and you know it," Mary joined in on the fun.
"It is not like you must wait eons, I will have Ma'ma or Rosamund telophone first thing to deliver the news," Edith reassured hoping to satisfy her family.
The morning moved along quickly and turned into noontime tea in the gardens after everyone had a chance to attend to their own personal affairs. Which for Edith consisted solely of reading and cards with Mary in the library as she was unable to do much else. Shortly after breakfast the mild cramps had turned into a persistent dull ache in her lower back and she was starting to find it rather hard to locate a comfortable position. She debated telling her mother but once again told herself it couldn't be serious and tried to focus on her conversation with her aunt and Mary. Robert and Cora had taken a walk around the garden to spend time with another and the last thing Edith wanted to do was interrupt that. "What did you say Aunt Rosamund?" Edith questioned as she tried to find her way back into whatever they were talking about, but apparently Edith had been consumed longer than she thought and found Rosamund inquiring about it.
"You were on another planet there for a moment..." Rosamund stated looking Edith over noticing the way she kept her hands clutched to her belly. "Are you uncomfortable? Can I get you another pillow?"
"Oh it's nothing I don't need a thing," Edith shook her head as she tried to relax her body by laying her head back against the chair. "I have found by the 9 month of this pregnancy there are very few moments when one isn't uncomfortable." She laughed lightly trying to cover what was really going on.
"Are you positive?"Rosamund pushed slightly but somewhat hesitantly.
"I am sure," Edith gave a weak smile. "Now let's get back to the fascinating tales of Mary's love interest, I have been dying for good conversation all weak."
Though Mary nor Rosmund quite believed Edith they resumed the discussion in hopes nothing was wrong.
"I am going to miss you terribly!" Cora sighed longingly like she already missed him even though they were still together.
Robert had Cora's arm intertwined with his as they walked out of earshot from the others, hoping to steal as many moments alone together as they could before he departed the next day. "I know I am going to be simply lost without you next to me. I am afraid my English heart is no match for you my love," Robert pored out as he stopped his wife, stealing a kiss.
"Oh Robert..." Cora choked out as their lips parted. She let her head fall against his shoulder seeking comfort in the closeness. "This can all be so hard when you are not around. After that terrible, awful night we lost Sybil it's all I can think about at times when I see Edith and I realize how close she is to going into labor. It get so overwhelming at times."
Robert knew no matter how much he loved his daughters he could never truly know what Cora went through for he was not a mother but he did understand how scared he felt when he thought about losing another one of his girls all the same. "Darling, I confess I share your fear some as well but even when I am not here remember I am always with you in heart. Edith is going to need you now more than ever so must be strong as I have seen you be everyday since I had the honor of marring you. What happened to our Sybil will not happen with Edith, you must believe that."
Cora looked into her husbands eyes and saw wells of deep love and support for her. How she had ever been lucky enough to end up with a man like Robert she would never know, but she knew she was thankful. No doubt that had their fair share of struggles and quarrels throughout their years together but those same trials had only seemed to bring them closer to one another. "I don't know what I would do without you," she whispered softly letting her fingers slide across the makings of his face taking a picture in her mind to hold on too.
"You'd carry on like the great empires of this world while I would fade into shell of a man without you," he said caringly as he wrapped his hands around hers brining them to his chest.
"So you'll miss me then?" Cora gave him a cheeky smile.
"More than anything in the world," he responded pulling her closer to place a kiss on her forehead. "Now lets go spend time with our daughters.
By the time Edith's parents had come into eyesight she was beginning to regret walking all the way out here. She was starting to feel quite nauseous and was finding it hard to ignore the aching in her back. She saw her mother and father approaching and tried to think about her best course of action. She knew if she out right told her mother how she was feeling Cora would give her what for so she decided to take a different direction.
"Hello everyone," Cora greeted as her and Robert approached the table. She then directed her attention towards Edith. "How are you feeling darling?"
"Pregnant," she gave a small laugh trying to hide her fatigue. "I am getting rather tired though. Think I better lie down and rest a bit before dinner."
Cora knew by Edith's facial expressions she wasn't telling the truth. Her pale skin gave her away even if her mouth spoke something else. "Don't forget our promise," she reminded as she raised Edith's chin so to meet her gaze.
"I won't," Edith replied weakly as she reached up and grabbed Cora's hand. "Would you mind helping me stand?"
"Of course dear," Cora answered as she helped Edith get to her feet. "Easy now..." she fretted grabbing her daughter's shoulders as Edith swayed a bit after standing.
"I'm alright just stood up to fast," Edith covered quickly as she pulled her shawl more tightly around herself.
Cora started to feel a pit begin to build in the bottom of her stomach not believing her daughter for one second. "Is there something you aren't telling me?" she asked her voice dripping with worry.
And though Edith should've probably told her mother in this moment she pushed it aside once more telling Cora, "Everything is fine Ma'ma I just need to lie down that's all I promise. "
"I will walk you up then," Cora stated not willing to let Edith off so quickly.
"No, stay out here and enjoy your time with Pa'pa, Mary will walk with me," Edith replied giving Mary a knowing sister look.
"Will you Mary?" Cora turned to her eldest not pushing since Edith was happy to receive help at all.
"I will make sure she gets to her bed safe and sound," Mary reassured standing to go to Edith's side.
"Thank you poppet," Cora smiled kissing Mary on the cheek before watching them begin their way back up to the house.
"She seemed quite uncomfortable, couldn't sit still while you both were gone," Rosamund spoke up after the girls were out of earshot.
Cora sighed in concern at Rosamund's words, silently praying everything was alright and that Edith was just worn out, "I will go check on her in a while."
"Bother to tell me what's really going on?" Mary inquired as she helped lower an out of breath Edith on to the bed.
"Oh Mary I really don't feel like talking about this..." Edith sighed heavily rubbing her forehead as she slipped her swollen feet out of the shoes. "Would you just please help me get into something more comfortable I feel as though I am suffocating in this dress." She most definitely would be lying if she said she felt fine but until she knew if this was going to get worse she didn't want to worry anybody and thought it better to just try and rest.
"Well of course I'll help you, but that doesn't mean I am going to ignore the fact something is not right," Mary replied kindly as she begin helping undress Edith. "You couldn't get away from Ma'ma fast enough and told her you were fine even though you clearly aren't. Are you having contractions?"
"Of course not Mary!" Edith denied as she slid the nightgown over her head and pulled it down over her belly. "I won't lie to you I do not feel the best but that is nothing more than a little too much excitement and if I would've told our mother she would have had the doctor here before I could even blink and I am not going to worry her if there is no reason too. I over did it a bit and simply need to lie down for a while."
Mary squinted her eyes inquisitively at her sister questioning whether this was this truth or not but then she remembered the way she was towards the end her pregnancy. The way she insisted on attending and dancing at The Ghillies ball...that had gotten her into a heap of trouble and yet she settled on not worrying anybody. "Listen I know Edith it can almost feel like you are an inconvenience to everybody's fun but it doesn't help to try to brave this on your own. Trust me I made that mistake and almost ended up delivering my child alone. Thank god Isobel came to my rescue but still if it hadn't been for her my excuse of not wanting to worry anybody could've had more consequences then I realized. "
Edith did not answer as she looked into her sisters eyes thinking about what her words meant. "If something was was wrong I would tell you but a minor back ache and an upset stomach is no reason to worry everybody," there was some truth to what Mary had said but Edith also knew that was only part of the reason she didn't want to discuss this. She was scared to admit she was far from ready to deliver this child or become a mother. Pushing it all away and not talking it about helped her feel she was holding it at bay in way.
Mary looked at Edith for a mere moment weighing if this was the truth. "As long as you are sure," Mary finally answered seemingly satisfied with Edith's answer. "Just make sure you get some rest, I'd like to see you at dinner."
"I will I promise," Edith smiled weakly kissing Mary's cheek as she was about to leave. "Just tell Ma'ma to not worry."
Mary nodded before shutting the door behind her leaving Edith alone.
She let out a shaky breath as as she could feel her child moving about everywhere in anxiousness. "Shhh it's alright sweetheart," she said as calmly as she could trying to sooth the baby. "Im going to rest now and everything will be fine." Whether the soon to be mother was saying this to her unborn child or self, she did not know but either way it was the only thing she could think to do as she slipped under the covers praying sleep would help all of this.
"Did she tell you anything?" Cora asked Mary as she entered the library room. The trio had soon followed behind Mary and Edith inside having had their fill of nature.
"She said everything was perfectly fine," Mary shrugged her shoulders. "If I am correct her words were 'a minor backache and an upset stomach' were no cause for concern. "
"Oh that stubborn woman," Cora sighed heavily taking a seat while pinching the bridge of her nose. "She didn't even say that to me and she swore to she would tell me if anything happened."
"I could be wrong ma'ma but I think this has a lot more to do with denial then Edith not wanting to tell you," Mary raised her eyebrows as she too sat down next to her father.
"What do you mean?" Cora furrowed her eyebrows.
"Well I don't know for sure but I know that when I was about to bring a child into this world i felt as if I kept silent and didn't talk about it... somehow it would be held off," Mary offered trying to help her mother understand.
Cora remained silent as she looked down at her hands and fidgeted with her rings. Her fear could be so overwhelming at times that she couldn't imagine what must be going through Edith's head. To know you are going to bring a tiny person into the world and they will be your sole responsibility can be quite daunting. She at least had that responsibility halved by having Robert at her side whereas Edith would be faced with sole custody of this child as long as Mr Gregson remained missing. Her third grandchild to be forced to live their life with only one parent instead of two. You pray from the time your child is born that they will be spared from heartache like this but she now realized the world was not so kind.
"She will be alright," she heard Rosamund's voice break the silence from the seat next to her. "And so will the baby."
Cora looked up and gave Rosamund a watery smile knowing her voice would fail her if she tried to speak.
"I'm sure the sleep will fix her right up," Mary added as well.
Only An hour after falling to sleep Edith woke to her back spasming with sharp pains and what felt like another intense Braxton Hicks gripping her abdomen. "Jesus Mary and Joseph," she sucked in a breath as she reached out clutching the sheets on her bed. She felt like she needed to get off her back but their was no way she could move on her own. "Mmmmmm not now little one." This could not be happening right now. After she rode out the Braxton Hicks she did her best to try and reach for the bell. "Please not now," she whispered again in pain as she pulled the sash next to her bed.
Not even two minutes after even though it felt like 10 to Edith the ladies maid made an entrance. "M'lady are you quite alright?" She asked with concern as she could clearly see the distress written on Edith's face.
"Please get Lady Grantham now and hurry!" Edith cried out as the pain in her back became even more intense although the Braxton Hicks was subsiding.
"Right away," she nodded before scurrying out of the room.
"She's gonna kill me," Edith whispered knowing she had made a mistake. All she could do was hope this was another false alarm. "This can't be happening again."
"Lady Grantham it's Lady Edith," Cora turned to see the maid bursting into room. "She said to come quickly!"
Cora waisted no time on words and was to her feet before anyone could say anything else to her. "Take me to her," she followed quickly behind the girl.
By the time Cora reached Edith's slightly open door, she could hear a low moaning emitting from the room. "Edith?!" She called pushing the door open to find Edith gripping the sheets tightly with her eyes squeezed shut in pain as tears marked her cheeks. "Whats going on? Can you talk to me?"Her voice dropped with concern as she rushed to Edith's side.
Edith opened her eyes at her mothers voice and shook her head slightly as a shudder took over her body. She reached her hand out for Cora, who didn't hesitate to grab it tightly. "It feels like there is a hand gripping the base of my spine..." she squeezed Cora's hand harder. "I have to get off my back please help me I can't take it."
"Of course, start by giving me both your hands and I am going to help you sit up," the mother said trying to remain calm while pushing Edith's hair from her face.
"Mhm'kay," Edith barely got out before she felt the intense contracting start again. "Wait Ma'ma-," She hissed as she dug her head back into pillow squeezing her eyes shut once more.
"I know it hurts but we need to get you on your knees it will help relieve some of the pressure," Cora tried to comfort as she slid her thumb over Edith's hand. "I'll go as slow as you need me too."
Edith's only response was a nod of the head as she gave Cora her other hand taking a deep breath before Cora pulled her up. "Good god," Edith winced at the new position leaning forward, she rested her head on Cora's chest.
"I'm sorry baby I know this isn't' ride in the park," Cora said sympathetically her own body beginning to recall what Edith was feeling.
"It's alright let's just get this over with," Edith sniffled letting go of Cora's dress and clutching her belly.
"Do you think you can switch to all fours for me?" Cora asked softly stroking Edith's arm.
"I think so just help steady me," Edith answered weakly as she began turning over onto her knees and hands. "Ow ow ow," she grimaced pulling her knees up under her almost in downward dog.
"You are doing so well," Cora encouraged as Edith finally settled into the position resting her head down on her forearm while her bottom was sticking out the other way.
"Mmhm that feels better," Edith sighed heavily a bit more content with how the downward angle took some of the pressure off her back.
Cora begin rubbing Edith's lower back hoping to ease some of the pain as she could still see Edith gripping the end bed board tightly. "Go inform Lady Painswick I will be needing her assistance at once and please tell Lord Grantham to alert Doctor Edwards immediately," Cora instructed looking at the lost maid still standing at the door.
"Certainly milady," she bowed her head before turning on her heel quickly.
"Does it feel like Braxton Hicks again?" Cora asked resuming her massaging, wondering if this day had geared Edith up for the real thing.
"I don't know it-it feels different this time.." Edith stuttered tensing as she could feel the contraction gearing up again. "Ahhhh bloody hell!" She winced more loudly this time as she dug her nails in. She had no idea if this was really it or this was a false alarm but she knew one thing for sure and that was the fact she was scared.