It's almost 1am but I wrote this for you because I love you and I love Papa Roy (though he does get frustrated) and Ed (because he's a ball of angst) so here ya go.
"So- how did this happen again? A dog attack?" the emergency room doctor talked as he stitched Ed's arm. The gash was a good four inches across, rather gaping- it really did look like a dog had gone at him.
"No. It was a person." Ed said simply. Mustang sat in a chair on the other side of the small curtained bay, and Ed was making a monumental effort not to look at the man, though he was sure Mustang was watching him intently as they stitched him up.
His only other option was to watched the doctor stitch- and even though he was numb, the sight of the thread snaking through a hole in his flesh, trailing along behind the needle like a mother holding hands with a small child, made his stomach churn.
He settled on staring at the pristine tile floor in front of him.
"Wait- a human did this?" the doctor looked horrified.
Ed noticed the man had stopped stitching and frowned. "Yeah. Military business." Ed caught sight of the needle and thread lying idly ijn the man's hand and tore his gaze away. "Mind hurrying it up here? I hate needles."
"Of course. I... you were attacked?" the doctor asked.
"Yeah, that's what I said." Ed said numbly, back to having his staring contest with the floor.
"Did they- do you have any other injuries?" the doctor asked.
"No. I'm fine." Ed was decidedly not fine. And the way Mustang was watching him wasn't making this any better. He wanted to be far, far away from the man.
"Right. Well... there's actually a lot of nasty bacteria in the human mouth, so I'm going to write you a prescription for antibiotics to take until this heals."
"Yeah. Sounds good."
He let the doctor finish stitching him and dress his arm, wrapping a gauze pad in an ace bandage and moving to talk to Mustang, giving the man instructions about changing bandages and giving medicine that Ed decided to tune out.
How is this possible? Why... why is he doing this? he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Mustang was a killer. Sure- in the back of his head he'd always known that the man had to have killed, he'd been in a war, but he'd chosen to lock the knowledge away and not think about it, because really, it'd been a war, Mustang had had to get his hands dirty to survive.
But now, he was being confronted by an ugly truth, and he wasn't sure how to process it, or even come to terms with it. He had a lot of feelings he had no idea what to do with.
Those gloved hands- the red array that'd meant safety, that's protected him from countless killers, the hands that caught him when he fell- they were drenched in blood. And Mustang himself... he was overcome by the war at best, or a calculating psychopath at worst. He didn't know which was the better option. And he wanted to turn his brain off for a long time.
He'd been in his own little world for a moment, and Mustang's hand on his shoulder broke him out of his trance.
"Fullmetal- it's time to go."
"Oh. Okay." he shrugged the man's hand off his shoulder and walked beside him out of the hospital to the familiar black car, sliding into the passanger seat.
Mustang frowned, turning to look at him. "Are you really okay?"
"I'm fine."
Mustang cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Because you've been awfully quiet. Are you hiding an injury you're not telling me about?"
"No. I'm tired. I hate hospitals. I want to go." he said. It was only a half-truth, but he must've sold it, because Mustang started up the car.
This presented a new problem, though. "Can you just drop me off at the dorms?"
Mustang frowned. "No. You know I can't. One of the conditions of your release from the hospital was you're under my supervision for awhile. Why? You really despise me that much?" Mustang had the gall to sound like he was actually hurt.
Ed made it a sport to glare at the dashboard in front of him. "I need space." he said coldly. "In case you haven't noticed, it's just been me and Al for years now- I'm not exactly a fan of people. I want quiet."
"Okay. It's pretty quiet at my place, we'll be there soon- then you can relax for awhile. Sound good?"
"I guess."
They arrived at Mustang's home- a simple brick two story. Mustang showed him to the guestroom- it was plain, but Ed thanked him and flopped onto the bed, grateful when the man left him alone.
Except now he was stuck here, alone, with all his feelings.
He still had no idea what to do with them, and he grabbed a pillow and tossed it across the room in frustration, wishing he could discard everything running through his head just as easily.
He stood up, pacing the room for a moment.
He sponsored you for the state alchemy exam.
He killed thousands of people.
He dragged you to the infirmary when you were sick and made sure you were okay.
He raped a woman while her children were watching.
He's always watched over you and put up with you. He's kept your secret and looked out for Al.
He killed a guy and left him alive to watch him writhe.
He's the closest thing to a Dad you have.
"It doesn't add up!" he threw himself back down onto the bed, frustrated. He buried his face in the pillow and screamed. "And I don't need a fucking father anyways!".
BREAK
He was no chef, but he could make mac and cheese. He'd made four boxes, because he knew how much Edward ate.
He ducked upstairs, expecting the kid to have found a few volumes of the alchemy books he kept on the bookshelf in the guestroom and be skimming them.
Instead, he found the kid passed out cold ontop of the blankets, and he couldn't help but smile for a moment at the sight of the kid sleeping. Ed looked so much younger when he slept.
But this left him with the problem- wake the kid up, or let him sleep through dinner?
He debated, went downstairs, and put the pac and cheese in the oven to keep it warm. It was only six at night, he'd wake the boy in an hour if he didn't come down.
He'd been reading an alchemy journal and nearly lost track of time at the kitchen table when the clock chimed seven, and he stood, mounting the stairs to find Ed still asleep.
He took a moment to lean on the doorframe and enjoy the sight, before he was striding over, shaking the kid's shoulder slightly.
"Hey- Ed. Dinner's ready."
"Whazzat?" Ed rolled over to look at him, half-asleep.
"Dinner. You hungry?" Roy asked.
Ed blinked and nodded, sitting up and scrubbing at his eyes before he was tailing behind Roy back downstairs, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
Roy had expected the kid to grab a plate and help himself, but when he turned back around, Ed was two pages into the alchemy journal he'd left on the table.
Roy smirked, piling another plate high with macaroni and thunking it down next to Ed, startling the boy.
"So- you like the article, huh?"
Ed blinked, nodding. "Yeah. Electrical alchemy, huh? Maybe someday there will be a lightening alchemist. If you could learn lightening alchemy, you'd be just as dangerous on rainy days." Ed admitted with a smile, digging into his plate.
Roy chuckled. "Yeah. I guess you're right. But manipulating electricity generated in a storm is a lot more complex than man-generated. It'd be a lot of theoretical pioneering, and a couple people will probably get fried trying to figure it out."
"So?" Ed shrugged, speaking around a mouthful of mac and cheese. "Gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette."
Roy laughed- actually laughed- at the boy's cavalier attitude, surprising both him and Ed.
"I'll remember you volunteered when they're looking for alchemists to fry." Mustang admitted, grinning.
"Haha. Whatever. You know..." Ed paused. "Al might be pretty good at electrical alchemy. I never thought about it, but he's a good conductor, and high voltage won't hurt him. Not now, at least. In a year or two, maybe..."
Mustang nodded. "Yeah. How's that going, by the way? The search to get your bodies back."
Ed paused, looking hesitant. "Fine. It's fine."
"You really think you're only two years away?"
"I don't know." Ed dropped his eyes. He'd been lulled into a false sense of security- he'd jsut woken up, let hsi guard down, and he'd actually let himself enjoy Mustang's company.
"Oh. When's Al coming back from Risembool, anyways?"
Ed's grip tightened on his fork. "Dunno that either. I haven't called."
"I have a phone in the hallway upstairs. You can call if you want."
He rapes women and murders people for fun. But he's gonna let you use his phone, so it's cool, right? He's the best chance at a father you have, since Hoenhiem left...
He dropped his fork.
What the fuck!? Why am I thinking like this? I don't need Mustang, and I don't need a father!
"You alright?" Mustang was watching him again. Great. Just fucking dandy.
"Yeah. Just tired. I'm going back to bed. Wake me up for work in the morning, okay?"
"Alright. My bedroom's at the end of the hall, if you need anything." Roy looked slightly surprised, and he could feel the man's eyes on his back as he retreated upstairs.
He threw himself onto the bed and was glad sleep took him quickly.
He was back to clipped sentences and short answers the next morning. It was nice to be back in the office- work provided a welcome distraction from useless thoughts and feelings, and he threw himself into the backlog that'd built up while he was gone with fervor.
He only took a break when Hawkeye told him to, and he found himself eating a sandwhich outside with Havoc while the man smoked.
"Hey- Havoc- remember when I first started working here? And I tried to tell you the Colonel was a selfish jackass and you told me not to talk like that?"
Havoc nodded. "Yeah. I remember."
"Well... what makes you so sure he's a good guy?"
Havoc blinked. "Roy Mustang cares about his subordinates. You know that- he probably cares for you more than anybody, kid, even though you two pretend to hate eachother for the sake of your own pride. And he's got a noble goal- to make this country a better place."
Ed frowned. "Yeah- that's true. But how well do you actually know him?"
Havoc shrugged, taking his cigarette out to ponder. "I've known of him for years. Only been in his command for seven, though. Why do you ask?"
Ed frowned. "You know... about Ishval, right?"
Havoc paled, and he unconciously crushed his still-lit cigarette in his hand and burned himself, hissing and jumping back.
"The Colonel never talks about it, but you hear stories, now and then, about the Hero of Ishval..."
"Edward. I was in Ishval too. It's... war is hell, kid. Believe me. Things that would get you locked up for years, murder... it's... it's bad, okay? There's a reason the Colonel never talks about it. And you shouldn't ask."
Because if the facts get out, it might hurt his bid for Furher. Nobody wants a rapist to lead their country. Does Havoc know? Has he been read in and briefed to deny by Mustang? Or is he just blindly following...
Hawkeye turned the corner and set her eyes on them, looking serious. "We've got a call. Someone found a body a few blocks from here in an alley. We've been assigned to look for signs of alchemy with investigations."
"Right."
"Fullmetal- you're sure you don't want to stay in the car? You... you may see something." Mustang had offered.
"I'll be fine." he wasn't an invalid, and he didn't want to wait around any longer than necessary.
It was a brutal scene. Hughes and Roy took it in with practiced professionalism, but there was no sugarcoating the naked young woman lying on the pavement. A life cut short too soon.
It was a woman in her twenties. Probably had been on her way to work. She was wearing a neat white blouse and a black skirt, her hair had been in a ponytail...
He paused. There weren't any signs of alchemy or human transmutation...
There was someone breathing heavily down the back of his neck, and he glanced over his shoulder reflexively only to realize there was nothing there.
Hughes and Mustang were talking in clipped professional tones about caught of death- aside from the scratches, there were no obvious injuries.
Unseeing, cloudy blue eyes stared up at him from the pavement.
Had she suffered? Had she cried and struggled? How had she died?
There was a heavy hand placed on his shoulder, and he turned, only to be shoved back and have something stuffed directly into his face, he couldn't see, back against the brick wall, a heavy body keeping him captive.
Something warm and wet was forced into his mouth... it was a tongue, not his tongue and lips, strange lips on his...
She didn't even have time to scream.
Before hands closed around his neck. Another few seconds, and he was blissfully unconscious.
At least it had been quick.
"She was raped." he muttered. Maybe it was horrible, but the forcible kissing was an obvious lead in. Mercifully, the man had strangled her before he'd engaged in sex...
But someone had purposely had sex with her corpse...
"What did you say, Ed?" Hughes was looking over at him curiously.
"I said she was raped." Ed spoke louder.
The entire team was staring at him, now.
"Her clothes are still on, it might've been a robbery gone wrong..." Mustang said. "If it were sexually motivated, don't you think she'd be in a more suggestive position?".
Ed scoffed. "No. She's in a skirt. All he'd have to do is take off her underwear and he'd be able to do what he had to. You don't have to take all of someone's clothes off to rape them. You of all people should know that."
The silence in the alley was deafening.
"Excuse me?" Mustang blinked, looking startled.
"You heard me." Ed growled, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He had to bite back the urge to tack on the words 'Hero of Ishval' sarcastically, and he swallowed the words, looking down at the corpse with barely contained rage.
Was Mustang any better than the man who'd killed and violated this girl? Ed was having a hard time justifying it- murderers and rapists should be fed to the dogs, not wearing a military uniform. But here Mustang was, a Colonel...
"Edward- did you really just say that?" Hughes was looking at him in shock.
Don't tell me Hughes is going to cover for you. Hell, maybe he doesn't know- I doubt he'd let him around his wife and kid if he did.
Ed was leaning down, ignoring everyone. "Her lipstick is smudged. She was kissed, strangled, and raped. He killed her before he raped her- if you can't find any... evidence... in her genitals, you might be able to get some saliva from her lips."
"Ed..." Havoc was looking thoroughly uncomfortable.
"What? There are some things we don't talk about, right Havoc?" Ed was unable to keep the acid from his tone, and Havoc blinked.
"Fullmetal- get back to the office." the momentary look of shock on Roy's face was gone, covered in a professional, even expression and tone.
"Right. Make sure the coroner does a rape kit." he turned, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Colonel- you're going to let him walk away after he said that!?" Breda looked shocked.
"No. We'll discuss it when I get back. Now's not the time or place." Ed knew the Colonel was watching him walk away, but he didn't look back.
Good riddance. I don't need a father, and I sure as hell don't need you.
The walk back to the office gave him time to stew, and he kicked a rock as he went along, finding himself in the large office alone.
He stalking into Mustang's office, sitting in the man's chair and putting his feet up on the desk in a blatant show of disrespect, trying to make himself feel better.
We'll discuss it when I get back. What the hell are you going to lecture me on, you morally corrupt bastard? You think you can make me bow down and kiss your boots when you're a filthy murderer and a rapist!? You don't deserve your rank or the loyalty of your team!
He was bored and upset, and he pulled open the desk drawer, coming face to face with Mustang's ignition gloves.
He pulled one out, staring at it- his gaze was heated enough he was surprised that it didn't burst into flame.
Who the hell is the Hero of Ishval, anyways? Mustang, you're one manipulative mastermind- the way you pretended to care, picked me up when I was at my lowest- if Kimblee hadn't told me, I'd never have seen you for who you really are.
He kept rummaging through drawers, and he found a crystal decanter of brown liquid and sniffed it cautiously.
Huh. So the Bastard does have booze. Fuck it. I'm stealing this- I can't deal with this idiot sober.
It was only a third full, and Ed took three long slugs before he was coughing, eyes watering. It burned, but it was good... it left him numb in all the right places, and he closed the drawers and took the decanter back to his desk, sipping it every few minutes until he stopped caring so much and could comfortably float on his buzz.
He was in a good enough mood to fake a smile when the team came back into the office two hours later, though everyone was looking at him cautiously.
Hawkeye noticed the decanter on the corner of his desk and the swallow of liquid remaining, and her eyes widened.
"Edward- is that alcohol?"
"Yeah. It is." he didn't bother lying, instead folding his hands and giving them all a shit-eatting grin. "The Colonel said I'm not allowed to cause anymore property damage, so I've decided to self-medicate. Best decision I've ever made." he even fucking giggled at the end of the sentence.
"Did you drink that whole bottle!?" Havoc was looking horrified.
"No. It wasn't full. Everyone can go home early. Fullmetal- my office, now."
"Sure thing, bastard." this time there was hate behind the word, and it took him some effort to stand and put one foot in front of the other and find his way to the Colonel's office.
He was drunk, and he was not sorry.
He managed to make it over to a chair and sat down, Mustang taking his familiar position behind his desk, like Ed was giving a report.
"So- what's eating you, Fullmetal." Mustang had the gall to sound slightly annoyed at his behavior, like he was the one in the wrong for getting drunk and being hostile, when it was Mustang who should've been in the stockades right now.
"Gee. I dunno. Fucking guess." Ed muttered sarcastically.
Mustang took a deep breath before he spoke. "Why are you doing this?"
"Quit pretending like you don't know."
"And what if I actually don't know!?" Mustang was glaring at him with a mixture of frustration and bewilderment, and Ed paused.
He's a psychopath. He has an immaculate image to the public, but he's done horrible things. And he's a great actor.
Ed chose to stay quiet and glower at him.
Mustang sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Fine. You don't feel like talking, then I'll give you my perspective on this- I've been sticking my neck out for you since day one, got you into the military, been making sure you're alright for years, I let you come live with me, and in return you shut down any attempt I have at conversations and hurl insults at me anytime we try to talk."
Ed still said nothing, crossing his arms.
"I thought it was an act for awhile, Fullmetal. I let your disrespect and insults slide for a long time, because I believed that deep down, you really do respect me. And you don't have a father, so I figured that was where your authority issues come from. But I'm beginninng to think you have bigger problems associated with not having a father than a realized."
Ed glared. "You think this is about my dad?" he asked, disgusted.
Roy threw up his hands. "I don't know. Is it?"
Ed bolted to his feet so fast he got dizzy for a moment, slamming both of his hands on Mustang's desk. "I don't need a father, and I sure as hell don't need you!"
The only sound was Ed's heavy breathing for a moment, and he had to steady himself on the desk before he sank back into his chair, resuming glaring at Mustang.
"If it's not your father, then enlighten to as to what the hell it is, Edward. Because as soon as you had to come stay with me, everything changed. You hate me for some reason- you pretty much called me a rapist in front of the team, stole alcohol from my office and got drunk, and are currently acting like a petulant child. You hate me all of a sudden, and I deserve to know why!"
"You are a womanizing bastard. Is that enough of a clue for you?" Ed growled.
Roy blinked. "This... okay, wait. This is about girls? I... I have been known to have a woman or two stay the night, but my... adult activities... aren't your concern, kid."
Ed laughed. "Wow. You really are a good actor. You just keep dancing around it and denying it."
"Denying what!? Did I steal your girlfriend or something?"
Ed pulled his state alchemist's watch from his pocket and threw it at him.
"No! I'm thinking about transferring command, I can't fucking stand you... I used to think you were decent, but time and time again my shitty judgement comes back to bite me in the ass."
"What did I even do!?"
"What didn't you do, Hero of Ishval!?"
And just like that, their screaming match fell silent.
Mustang's eyes had gone wide, like a deer in the headlights, and Ed idly wondered how the man was going to try and backpedal his way out of this one.
"...Ishval? This is about... Ishval?" the man actually sounded hesitant, and Ed nodded.
"You're finally going to acknowledge it, then?"
Roy inhaled deeply, putting his face in his hands for a moment. He had the gall to look like he was actually trying to compose himself before he spoke again.
"It's about the killing, isn't it? I know you're against killing, I've never ordered you to kill, but it was a war, Ed, I had to..."
"I know it was a war. I can let the killings in self-defense and the killings you were ordered to do slide. But I have a problem with someone who uses alchemy to torture people. I have a problem with someone who rapes women while their children watch. I have a problem with people only burn half a man so they can watch him writhe and scream for his dead family. And I MOST CERTAINLY have a problem with the psychopath who does ALL THAT SHIT and is able to convince everyone around him he's a good guy trying to make the country better."
Mustang was looking baffled. "I don't..."
"Have an explanation? Yeah. Neither do I. So go ahead- kick me out of your precious military, or kill me- that's what you did to that woman and her kids, after all. No witnesses, right? Kimblee told me."
Roy blinked. "Kimblee?" his voice was barely above a whisper. "Solf Kimblee?"
"Yeah. He told me all the shit you did. Burning hospitals- burning villages slowly, for fun. All of it. I was only pretending to disrespect you before, but after that- I started to hate you. I still do. Because all those times you lectured me and I thought you were trying to make me a better person, you were acting and you were a monster in a uniform. Wolf in sheep's clothing if I ever saw one.".
Mustang's hands were shaking. "Ed. Kimblee... where did you see him? He's... I thought he was in prison."
"No. He wasn't. He was in the ward for the criminally insane at Sisters Hospital. He told me all your dirty laundry."
Roy blinked. "Criminally insane. So... that's where they put him. What did he tell you?"
"Everything I just said. You burned villages slowly to let them suffer, let that half-burned guy writhe around, and let him rape and kill that woman and her kids."
"Edward- Kimblee is the one who raped that woman. He tried to kill her and her children. I walked in in the middle of it and managed to get her children to run. The mother was too traumatized to testify- she went mute. I found the kids at a refugee camp, their testimony was part of what got Kimblee demoted a rank..."
Ed blinked. "You... you didn't do that?"
"No. Kimblee lied to you."
"He said... he said you killed all the witnesses and intimidated the other soldiers, so there were no records..."
"There are records, Ed. I will find them for you. All of them. Kimblee was demoted after the rape, but they kept him on the front. He excelled at torturing insurgents, and good alchemsits were in short supply. They didn't court martial him until he killed his entire squad of soldiers for fun. I thought he'd been thrown into military prison, I lsot track of him after all these years, but apparently he was at the hospital... What else? What else did he tell you?"
"You burned villages. And hospitals."
Roy swallowed. "I can't deny that."
"Why?"
"I had... I had orders. It was a war." Mustang actually looked uncomfortable and cowed.
"You burned it slow. So they'd suffer." Ed accused.
Mustang shook his head. "No. I... I tried to keep it burning slowly so people in the farther reaches of the city had time to escape."
"You burned a man half to death and watched him writhe. You enjoyed it."
"No! No, I didn't!" Mustang lunged forward, slamming both hands on the desk and looking frantic. "I... I didn't mean... I miscalculated. When I had to... when I had to exterminate, I tried to do it as humanely as possible. He was walking out the back door, it was a house of insurgents, and I didn't realize. And when we found him in the rubble, and I... I saw... what I did... I froze. I was too weak to finish it. He'd been burned so badly... Jesus Christ, his one eyeball had melted..."
Mustang was physically shaking. "I was horrified by what I'd done. By what I'd used my alchemy to do. I'd been burning villages for weeks, I thought I'd been pretty well desensitized by then, but I froze- and Hawkeye... you can ask her, she'll back me up here... Hawkeye finished the guy off with a rifle. Because I miscalculated. Because I was too weak." Mustang sounded close to tears.
Ed looked up at Ed, with an expression pleading. "You ever do something you regret with every fiber of your being? Something that you'd do anything to change?"
"Everyday. You know I do. I regret it everyday." Ed flexed his automail hand, thinking of his sweet baby brother trapped in a tin can.
Roy nodded. "Yeah. Well- me too, kid. We're not so different. You live everyday trying to get your bodies back, and I do paperwork and climb the burecratic ladder to try and change shit, to rebuild... Hell, there's no way I could possibly atone... but I am so far in the hole, here, that I have the rest of my life to work if I plan on leaving this world a better place than I found it.". Mustang lowered his gaze to look at the floor.
The man's hands were still shaking, and Ed stood on unsteady legs and stumbled behind the man's desk, clumsily wrapping mismatched arms around him.
Mustang blinked. "What... what are you?"
"It's a hug, you emotionally constipated old man." Ed said, squeezing him.
Mustang looked surprised, but he returned the hug. "Edward- you're drunk."
"And you're still a bastard. But not that big a bastard." Ed admitted. He still hadn't let go of Mustang- to be honest, he was still having a hard time walking a straight line, and he was using Mustang more for balance at this point.
"And I don't need a Dad, either." Ed admitted, before he looked up, meeting charcoal eyes with his own inebriated golden gaze. "But if I did... you wouldn't be so bad. You'd be my first choice.".
Roy's eyes widened slightly, and he squeezed Ed a little bit tighter. "Thank you. You and your brother are one of the only good things I've done since I joined this military. Everytime I think it isn't worth it, I remind myself that when you two reach your goal, the military will have helped someone for a change.".
"I'm going to retire and herd goats back home." Ed said seriously. "Once I fix my brother.".
Roy barked a laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are so drunk. You only had like five shots, you're such a pipsqueak..."
Ed blinked. "I'd punch you in the head if I weren't seeing double right now."
"You're going to be so hung over tomorrow morning. Come on, kid- let's go home." it was almost five anyways.
Roy shifted, allowing Ed to hold onto him for balance but managing to get the boy riding piggy-back.
"Do you feel like dinner? You're probably going to pass out pretty soon, but you should eat, it's not good to have all that alcohol without food. I don't feel like cooking- fuck it- we're ordering pizza." Msutang announced as they headed down the deserted halls of HQ.
Ed nodded against his back, pumping a fist in the air. "Pizza!" he agreed.
Roy smirked. "You might not be saying that in the morning. And don't think you aren't in trouble for all of this, by the way."
"I was brainwashed by an evil psychopath." Ed whined.
"I know. But instead of coming to me and talking about it, you shut down and tried to deal with it on your own. And you deal with feelings badly."
"I thought it was a conspiracy!"
Roy was at the elevator now, they were headed downstairs. He sighed. "I know. But you've been working here for two years, Edward. I'd hoped you'd realized you could trust me by now.".
"I have things wrong with my head! I see dead people and can't absorb iron properly! I just graduated preschool for psychos at that weird hospital. I'm... I'm having difficulties." Ed admitted, laying his head on Roy's shoulder and giving a dramatic sigh.
Roy shouldered open the door and started walking through the parking lot.
"I know, pipsqueak. But if nothing else- you're in trouble for stealing booze from me and getting drunk in the office instead of waiting patiently for us to get back."
"Boo. Edward disapproves." Ed narrated from where he was riding piggyback still. They'd reached his car, and Roy set him down, letting him lean sideways against the car for balance and unlocking the passenger door, rolling down the window.
"If you have to puke, try not to do it in the car." he said seriously.
Ed was fighting with the seatbelt, and Roy sighed as he got into the car, buckling Ed then himself.
"You are unique, Fullmetal." he muttered, and started to drive.
"So... I'm in trouble?" Ed asked seriously.
Roy nodded. "Yeah, you are. You stole booze and got drunk instead of dealing with things in a healthy way."
Ed blinked. "How do you deal with things in a healthy way?"
Roy paused, looking confused. "I don't know. We'll ask Hughes next time we see him."
"Good plan." Ed nodded along eagerly, liking the way the objects around him vibrated when he moved his head. "Do I still get pizza?"
"Yeah, you can still have pizza. But there will be consequences for all this tomorrow."
"I want double pepperoni! And garlic bread."
"You'll be lucky if you're still awake when they deliver it. You're blitzed. I figured I'd be taking you out drinking at some point, Fullmetal, but fourteen is a little young."
"I'm a prodigy." Ed answered dumbly.
Roy shook his head, reaching over and ruffling Ed's hair. "Sometimes, kid, you worry me." he admitted, but he was smiling.
What was your favorite part? I like to think I got Ed and Mustang's characterization pretty well here.